Who's the Pompey mystery man?

From the Beeb:

BBC South understands that the deal to sell Begovic has been done without the support of either Storrie or executive director Mark Jacob, the lawyer of owner Ali Al Faraj.

Which means that Ali Al Faraj is also not involved, I guess. You'd think. Unless he's personally dealing with the transfers. Without the aid of his lawyer. Hmm.

So who exactly is speaking to Daniel Levy over the transfers of Kaboul and Begovic?

The annoying twat with the cowbell? One of the groundsmen? Red Rum?

My money's on Ian Beale. Innocent of killing Archie Mitchell but shrewd enough to mastermind the take over of Pompey whilst behind bars in order to fund his next venture. Ian Beale action figures with removalable goatees. Actually, that makes no sense at all. Pompey are debt ridden, so he has no chance of making any money out of it to aid the manufacture of the figures in secret sweat shops housed in deepest Walford.

Spooky Understands its Ali Al Faraj, as owner, doing what he wants to do because he owns the club and things are beyond desperate. If he's not talking to his manager and his chief executive, that's an internal issue with Portsmouth. His lawyer, being a lawyer, is unlikely to assist or admit nothing to BBC South anyway.

It's basically none of our business either way and if the players are available, and we want them, then our chairman will no doubt speak to the person/s at Pompey who are tasked with negotiating transfers.

The original news article from the BBC is simply based on conjecture from the mouth of Storrie, so believe what you want.

£6M for the both of them is the reported combined price tag. We do love a bargain.

But seriously...KABOUL? Really?

You wait ages for one and then three…

You have to feel for Pompey. Savaged financially, Judas suing them, reliant on Jamie O'Hara's hand-outs and now us, plucking more of their players as they stand there, disillusioned and depressed.

Kaboul it appears is the next one. The Beast with no Brain is set for a return. Portsmouth still owe as a couple of million quid on the deal apparently, so yet another 'bargain' in the making, hey? He hardly got a chance first time round at the Lane and I'm certain I remember Comolli banging on about him being 'one for the future'. So much wrong with that.

A) You don’t spend £8M odd quid on a player for the future when at the time we needed players for the present
B)  You don't then throw him into the team in desperation and decimate his confidence (this happens a lot at Spurs)
C) And player 'for the future' usually show signs of the player they will one day turn into. Which J-K failed to do

Actually, what am I saying? He did get a chance. It was because of his chances that we sold him. Strong, determined but prone to massive mistakes. I know what you're thinking. Dawson. We kept with the latter and he's not doing too badly. Good enough in fact for a 5 year contract.

If you're wondering, Begovic is the other target (although he has played for two clubs already in a footballing year).

I liked Kaboul initially. He looked like the type of 110% player we lacked at the time. However not so refined in other areas. We sign the wrong player for an over-inflated price, say we're not going to use him, use him, he has a major high (4-4 v Villa) and then is tagged as a minor scapegoat following mediocre performances and several shag-ups. Then he's gone. And now he's on the verge of returning. For  less than we signed him for.

It's all just a bundle of barmy.

Is this the midfield cover then? Or do we dare to play him at centre-back? Shudder. Spurs, signing back players who were not that good in the first place.

Is Chimbonda available? Cheeky £2M bid?

Gudjohnsen

So apparently we've signed Gudjohnsen. On loan. He's definitely not a defensive midfielder (sigh) nor a prolific striker. He's a link man. Superb player at Chelsea, but not sure exactly how he's progressed since - other than the odd cameo during his time at Barcelona. No problems, it would seem, in getting him to sign on the dotted line as there was no competition for his signature.

Pause.

Nah, just kidding. West Ham apparently offered him a contract and the player had a medical there too. We then offered the same contract (wage wise according to honest Harry) and he's chosen us. Not sure why the claret and blues are in melt-down over it. He had two choices, he made a decision, end of story. Why do chairman/owners always try to re-invent the wheel in the hard-done by stakes? It's not like this type of thing is rare in football.

Sullivan spouting about karma just adds fuel to the perpetuated obsession that is directed towards us and thus by mentioning it our obsession with them…it's complex stuff this rivalry business.

Birmingham recently stole a player from the clutches of Wolves, so perhaps that's the karma Sullivan is referencing. Otherwise, let me remind you about a certain French player we spoke to who then got into a cab we paid for, drove to the cesspit and signed for the enemy. Karma? We've had plenty of it rammed down our throats with excessive dollops of lasagna to last us a life time.

Still, I'm not stripping down to my y-fronts and moon walking across my office desk just yet. Perhaps it’s the collection of forwards we now possess that has me wondering where they will all fit in from one game to the next. Although plenty of time for one of them (at a stretch two) to be sold on between now and the 1st of Feb.

I still believe that another DM is a necessity if we are to consolidate and take that 4th spot. This is a massive chance to claim CL football because next season the likes of Man City will have spent another £200M or so in a single summer and Liverpool will probably rediscover their form - leaving us scratching our heads and wondering about 'what ifs', and in addition relentlessly trying to hold onto Lennon and Modric, before accepting a donation to the Tottenham Foundation and accepting defeat.

Good luck Eidur. Once upon a time, it was Keane who spent the game linking the midfield with the forward line. Hopefully Harry has a plan about how this will work, but considering the issues we have currently with unlocking defences and thus making a meal out of it, we might have just got ourselves a rather worthy key.

The Jan transfer window has gone looney tunes

So apparently David Sullivan is mouthing off about all this Gudjohnson business. The Evening Standard run with the back-page headline stating:

"David Sullivan’s fury as Spurs hijack Eidur Gudjohnsen deal"

Is this not the same Sullivan who had shares in Tottenham and attempted to hijack ENIC's consolidation of ownership? Or did I just make that up? If I did, it's just like the tabloids. Ooh. Maybe he tried to buy shares in THFC. Bah, I've lost my punchline now.

How about posing like Ray Winstone again for the camera. Yeah, that's it, no smiling, just make sure you look well 'ard.

Bore off mate.

As for Eidur, got a footballing brain and some of our lot are justifying it by suggesting he would work a treat linking up the midfield with attack. We're not short on the creative side. I'd much prefer a proper goal scorer. Are old men really the only choices we have at the minute? Not seen the bloke play recently so I can't really offer much other than to say his best years are past him. Then again, some said the same of a certain other 'clever' forward.

I wish him luck at Upton Park.

-

So Gio is off to Turkey and once more we are divided into various groups of opinions.

"He's over-rated"

"Trouble-maker who doesn't train"

"Never got a chance"

etc

Did Barcelona know what they were doing when they got rid of him? Probably. I don't buy all this 'he wanted to play first team football so he left' nonsense. What amuses me is how having done nothing with this player, do people actually believe we'd go out and buy his brother? This is now officially the worst January transfer window of all time. Anyways, Gio is on loan so you never know...we might see him again. Probably not.

Time to re-call Adel.

-

On the subject of kids, have we learnt nothing with Gareth Bale? So refrain yourselves from thinking that John Bostock has been ruined. He's a teenager. The mistake we made was not leaving him to complete the season at Crystal Palace and then bring him into our academy fold and allow for first team experience. Rather than tour games and the one UEFA Cup cameo. The kid has talent, but as usual we don't appear to be the best place on earth to nurture and develop and bring them into the fold. I liked Harry's comments about getting him to train with the first team. Positive thinking finally. If he's good enough, we'll soon know.

-

Kaboul. Two words. What the fuck? That was three words.

Spurs 2 Fulham 0 - We still 4th then?

Spurs 2 Fulham 0

I wasn't at the game yesterday evening. Instead, it was spent on the sofa quietly celebrating a birthday drink in the company of a very pregnant Mrs Spooky and a bottle of twenty three year old Guatemalan rum. Comfortable and snug. Much like Tottenham's display against Fulham. You got the feeling early on that as long as we broke the deadlock, we'd win. And win we did. Unlike the build up of tension in prior home games where we failed to break down the opposition, there was enough patience with our play to stop any concerns and over-stating our effort.

Huddlestone back in the starting line-up as expected, King in for Bassong and Niko (out due to illness) replaced by David Bentley. The sight of David had one of my eyebrows reaching out for the top of my head like the glory days of The Rock in the WWE. Can you smell what the Bentley is cooking? How many of you facepalmed when you clocked he was in the starting line-up? I've seen rocking horse shit more times than I've seen him run out for us this season. But credit where it's due. The lad rolled his sleeves up and worked hard. No glam, no Hollywood passing, no tricks and showboats. He just got on with it. Controlled steering, firmly on the road, not a lamp post  to be seen.

Okay, so the side wasn't swashbuckling but when we've struggled to put other lesser sides to bed, to get the all important first goal and then push on from there was vital. More so when you look behind to see that Liverpool drew a blank. We lost concentration late on, but Fulham hardly looked convincing. If anything, questions about our cutting edge remains evident. As a side note, Gudjohnson? Not totally convinced, mainly because I haven't seen him recently. Based on the player he was - hell yeah. What's his motivation? If he ends up at West Ham, we'll know the answer to that particular question. Anyways...

Highlights for me -

Huddlestone and Palacios. Both of them did plenty of running. Hudd especially looking good on his return. Once more you hope he can one day soon dominate the midfield against one of the Prem's stronger sides. Ah, its' the rum talking I know. Wilson did his job perfectly, winning tackles and easing the pressure. Both of them had free passes in the middle of the park.

King. As comfortable as I was sat on my sofa scratching my backside. For all the criticism that has been quietly whispered about him, he's still top drawer when called upon. Essential for the likes of Bassong to have him around. Be it, part-time. Corluka equally impressive. Dawson not quite at the level he was a few weeks back, confidence perhaps a little dented still with recent blemishes lingering in his mind. Banish them Michael and keep on smiling.

As for our keeper, can't help but love him. Even if he cries like a girl. Drama queen he is, but he's looking consistent and commanding.

Our Gareth is resembling a Cheshire cat rather than a gloomy ape-boy this morning. Started and finished the game - and tasted victory (in the Prem) for the first time in around 23 games. The perfect illustration of how confidence is imperative to a young footballers development. We shagged it up big time first time round, rushing him into the side (I think on his return from a knock), and having him playing alongside shambolic more experienced players that did little to aid him or the team as a whole. Desperately unlucky and almost ruined (it's the Tottenham yoof way), compounded by the fact that we insisted on starting him regardless. He's now in a far better team and his performances continue to impress because he's free to express himself far more. Another MOTM performance (shared with Moddle), made easier by the lack of defensive questions asked of him. Although I'd like to see him improve with his decision making at the back along with his positioning. In time. Let's not forget his age and let's try not to pressure the lad too much.

Modric was buzzing. Crafting, creating with his quick feet, always looking to set the tempo and make something happen. Superb assist. Still not at that devastating level he's capable of, but he's getting closer with each game. He just looks so good on the ball. Brilliant faint and shot, shame it didn't go in. Keep on repeating it...he makes us tick.

And as for the very much maligned Bentley. Minimum fuss, as mentioned already. He buckled down and worked for the team. For someone watching from the sidelines for so long, he performed admirably, much like Roman did against Leeds. Not sure what's wrong with Krancjar (not had a chance to read much yet this morning). Conspiracy theorists amongst you might be scratching your chins and wondering if Harry is sticking him in the window in time for the panic-button final days before it shuts. I'm happy he scored, even if it was via a deflection.

Crouch linked up well with the midfield. Note that hoofing the ball up to him was not the tactic taken every waking second of the game. Took his goal well too. Defoe had another quiet night. Team is winning, so no I'm not going to complain. He's in a lull, he'll came out of it soon. He's got 14 already this season. Plenty time for more. And off the field personal issues might be causing his mind to wonder a little.

Keane was on too late to make any sort of mark on the game. I did have a strange dream last night involving Robbie. He was on a ladder cleaning windows, arms flapping in all directions in that pointy shouty iconic way we grew to love. He hardly even complains nowadays. I want angry Orish footballer back.

The rum was magical as ever.

Easy going evening. We needed to win. We did more than enough to deserve it.

COYS

The biggest game in our history. Ever.

Spurs v Fulham Match Preview.

It's been a while since I've brushed off that tagline and thrown it into a blog. It's usually saved when we are in dire trouble and need to dig deep and rediscover form and belief. No different today other than the fact that rather than us struggling down below, we are still sitting in 4th spot. And the objective is simply to reignite our push to remain there.

We've swayed a little. Team hasn't flowed well, not since Lennon's injury. The Hull game was disappointing, the Liverpool game shocking and Leeds in the cup complacent. It's not all doom and gloom. Not if you bundle in the 4-0 win against Posh in there too. Last eight games, we've won four of them and only lost the one. If this is us in crisis, then we can afford a smile. But as pointed out in an earlier blog, we've allowed ourselves to degrade just a touch. And although things are not quite suicidal just yet - they might be if we continue to subtly slump. Drop down to 6th/7th and you'll be able to surf on the waves of tears down Tottenham High Rd.

How do we put it right? Team selection. Has to be tight. Has to be the best line-up we can muster up, injuries permitting. And I'd leave King on the bench if he's considered to be available. No need to risk him in this game, although the fact that we have to avoid risking our best player says just about everything that needs to be said about his predicament and the position we - as a club - continue to find ourselves in.

Corluka back in the right-back position - because Hutton is all glam going forward and second rate at the back. Dawson, anchored down to the ground concentration wise. Cool and calm and in control. He's lost his head once or twice in recent games. Needs a slap and a cuddle to re-jig his brain into position.

Wilson in the middle with Huddlestone. Yes, I said Huddlestone - whacha you gonna do about it? Would you prefer Jenas sitting there?

Bale, left back. BAE might be available - but I'd retain young Gareth. Harry still needs to have a word about his defensive duties and when to display professionalism. The issue of balance across the midfield remains thanks to Lennon's injury.

Modric cutting in from the left, Niko on the right. I guess emphasis on these two to craft and create. Because Wilson and Hudd are unlikely to inject pace into the game from centre midfield. Depends - of course - whether Hudd does play, and if he does it's also dependent on if he's going to do his quarterback routine, pinging balls from deep and releasing the forwards. Then injection of pace is more of a tempo issue and as Moddle and Niko are the 'player makers' of the side, without Lennon's outlet we need to  play with width rather than squash it all with narrow football. Dink in all you like, but we can't allow the game to get congested and hamper any swagger we aim to display.

These two players are imperative and the rest of the side will lift their game to their setting. Just hope the setting is pointing at 'sizzling' rather than 'snoozing'. Modric is still finding his feet since returning. Niko is only in a lull because his performances haven't been as sublime, but that's not to say he hasn't been performing well.

Balance restored to the Facere IMO. Well, as much as we can expect.

Up front, Defoe - just because. Hopefully some part of him is hurting. No, I'm not talking about the part that Katie Price has been jumping up and down on. I'm talking about his head, which, I guess has also been potentially sat on by…anyways what I'm actually referring to is the penalty miss and the fact that he hasn't quite destroyed anyone since Wigan at home. Has to be more determined and has to move around with a lot more oomph otherwise the Fulham defence will sit back and soak him up.

Alongside him - I have a feeling it's going to be Keane. Not sure why. I've got a gut feeling, a sense of nausea. Ideally, I'd go with Pav. Might as well give him a farewell home game. He looked sharp, alert and confident against Leeds. Granted it was against League One opposition, but he was far more composed than some of the other players. Harry should ask him to just run around a lot and kick it in the net and we'll be sorted. Crouch has to be selfish if he does play. He does plenty for us by winning headers but doesn't stab it towards goal half has often as he should. It's a sigh and a half that we've got 4 'on paper' top class strikers and they've all got issues to over-come. Some more serious than others.

We are owed a performance. Three points and two goals or more. Fulham won't make it easy and I don't think this game is going to be comfortable, unless we start rampantly. Otherwise, hard evenings work in store especially if we start to miss chances in front of goal like we've done in recent games. You saw how Leeds grew in confidence. Fulham are in a far better position to hurt us if we are wasteful.

So, in conclusion, yet another re-hashed demand from the stands for the players: Stand up, be counted, and believe. Drops of points from here onwards will ruin our challenge for that 4th spot. Simply no room for powder-puff football.

Cometh the Spurs!

THFC: Infuriating the soul since 1882

I remember back in the 2006 season when rather than take the ball into the corner of the opposite end and waste away some precious dying seconds in our favour, we opted to attack. Not long after, the opposition scored with practically the final touch of the game. I guess being a Spurs fan we tend to have the uncanny ability to see into the future. Hands up if you knew, just knew Leeds would score a second?

I'm not going to blame Bale by the way, he's been superb - if still very much inexperienced in other areas. As a generalisation, the team + manager should carry the weight of disappoint as one.  We just didn't work as a balance unit and far too many individuals under-performed over the course of the game.

Credit to Leeds for never letting their heads go down, but fuck me, where was the stamp of quality, the killing of the game that would see out the final moments? Twenty five minutes of football is not enough to win any game. And as much as this was a great Cup tie for the neutral and an exceptional one in the stands, out on the field (for the home support) it's nothing more than further evidence that something needs tweaking. More than one thing in fact.

So, no stamp of quality when it mattered. Well, the one, being the Roman goal which was expertly taken in both build up and finish. But overall, what we got was some of that wonderful irony only Tottenham can do. Dawson, brilliant tackle. No no no, I'm not talking post-match in the showers. I'm talking about the tackle on the pitch that came before the clumsy one that gave Leeds a last second escape - scored by Beckford who displayed more belief in one spot kick that Defoe has managed in his last three. That olde self-destruct button head-butted. Would you believe it.

I don't care for the magic of  the FA Cup. Fact is, they're League One. And the tragic truth is that for all our efforts on goal we made scoring more difficult than trying to seduce a nun. It's a trend. It's a problem. And if you want to be all critical and depressive you might argue that we are declining in form. Degrading. It's not a massive problem, not a crisis. Not yet. But those doubts that hark back to the need to improve squad depth are calling out again. Practically screaming. Once more - not enough leadership.

Let's break this down:

The Atmosphere

Proper old skool innit? Police dogs growling, horses charging down the Park Lane. Scuffles here there and everywhere. Not that I'm condoning this sort of behaviour. It gave the evening a bit of an edge. Shame our players couldn't match the tenacity on the field. Although I did laugh when I read today over at Glory Glory that someone saw a chair fly past them (Block 53 I think) just after Defoe's pen miss.

The Performance

There were moments when the gulf in class between the two sides was evident. Especially the opening 20 mins or so. Counts for nothing when you don't stick 'em away. 19 shots, 17 on target across the whole 96 minutes. We are fast becoming masters of denying our own destiny. Open the door, walk through it. Don't close your eyes, spin around and then run and hope you make it through.

Danny Rose didn't make too much of an impact out on the wing, but he's a kid. Whether he turns out to be a bit special like that other one we plucked from Leeds remains to be seen. One thing is for certain, we need width in our team. We sort of got it. But it was in no way the same type of intensity Lennon provides.

The midfield failed to inspire. Yet another limp Jenas performance. All heart not brain. Remind you of someone? He's just not very good. And he's became the poster boy for the boo-boys for all that's wrong with our team. Then again, he's always been the poster boy for mediocrity which on occasion spikes towards something above average. He's a good lad, but has no decisive application when it matters. Cat's have nine lives. JJ has got through around two hundred so far.

Defoe and Crouch were quiet, not really doing enough damage in the final third. Defoe and his penalties, how tiresome is this becoming? Obvious again he'd not score. You can read it in his face. Lacks the eye of the tiger. Can someone else not have a go? Also thought he was a bit slow at times.

Everyone else was okay. Hutton looked tasty at times getting forward. Nothing outstanding from anyone. The lack of end product the main gripe. As ever. Bale, for all his required need to improve defensively, continues to impress offensively.

Leeds displayed grit and Beckford got into tasty positions. We've sort of gone off the boil a little at the back. Their equaliser was shambolic from our perspective.

Memo to Redknapp: Tweaking, not tinkering please guv. Get the engine room sorted, the tempo set and the best players (in form) in their proper positions.

Roman

Deserves a start. Okay, I'm not going into a knee-jerk about it but he came on, run into decent positions, had a decent touch or two and scored a goal from a great passage of play (nice step over dude). Worked hard off the ball too. He's hardly had a sniff this season. Considering the 'form' of our other three strikers, we've got little to lose. Well, other than a few more million off his prospective transfer fee. Nice celebration from the Russian. I think he might have smiled.

Tactics

Summed up with Keane coming on to play on the wing/midfield. It doesn't work. Although time-wasting shouldn't be a necessity against League One opposition, considering we got ourselves 2-1 up, we should have killed the game. Possession wise or with the aforementioned 'taking the ball into the corner' trick.

The replay, next round

It's gonna be tasty. And they will came at us like men possessed. Powder-puff ethics will have no place in their cauldron of hate. It's going to be massive test of character. Do we have the testicular fortitude? Do we ever?

No negative tactics please Harry.

Love to see how we line-up, but I'm guessing Palacios will start this time round. The tempo will no doubt be relentless, the noise crucifying. Gonna be some away day. Bolton await in the next round for who dares. I know 4th is perceived as more important than silverware - in the long run - but it's been way way too long since we got to a proper cup final.

Arsenal

Plucky kids gave it a go, bless 'em, but it's no shame for them to be knocked out because it was only a yoof team comprising of kids. Guess there's always the risk when you play so many kids. How did Theo play?

LMFAOROTF

Kids.

ITV Coverage

Anyone catch any of the tv coverage? Jesus wept, what commentary. How many 'marching on togethers' did you hear? Yes we get it. You're covering the football so you want an upset. No need for you to wet your panties every 5 minutes.

Conclusion

We welcomed Leeds into the game simply because we failed to capitalise and bury them out of sight. Confidence drops a little, theirs improves enough to cause doubt and concern. We need to dig deep and re-discover the lost mojo because if things continue to fester, we're going to find ourselves in trouble.

We never make it easy for ourselves. Which is why supporting this club is so great. Even if your football soul is dragged through the mire half the time.

Next up

Massive game v Fulham. Lose that and we are officially in crisis. I suspect the first 'sack the board' flag to be waved in the following game.

COYS.

Observations after Anfield...

Some observations after Anfield and beyond...(reposted, as the original article had comments disabled)

Did we learn anything from the 2-0 loss? We learnt that we always, without fail, choke when expectations are high. In fact we choke even when expectations are not high. Without fail. Ha! All we had to do was show some assertive swagger at Anfield and instead we failed miserably. Between now and April - if we stand any chance, any chance at all of finishing 4th - we have to remain unbeaten. Because April could well be a shower of pain. Take a look at the fixture list, then go sit in the corner of a room and slowly rock your body forwards and backwards until the men in white coats help you up.

Howard Webb is a mong. How many times has he directly influenced a game against our favour now?

Aston Villa 6 Blackburn 4. Did I really miss this game? Nine different goal-scorers? I even removed the recording from Sky+ just after it began because the other half wanted me to record American Idol. Which I happen to watch with her. Well, she doesn't actually watch it. I watch it on my own. With popcorn.

Did Jenas have a good game? Once more he divides opinion. Some people think he's shit others think he's crap. So, what do you think? Did he work hard or was he ineffectual out there? Flattered to deceive or under-rated? Who knows. Fact is he never does anything that can be perceived as completely comprehensive one way or the other.

The men holding the flags and the mong with the whistle are utterly incapable of understanding the offside rule and how it works in a passage of play where the player comes back into an onside position before the ball is played forwards again. Which is what happened with Defoe. I think.

Was I the only person who thought that was Pav on the touchline coming on only to then see Hutton? I think it's safe to say that our 'squad depth' is vastly over-rated.

Arsenal continue to exist within a bubble where the laws of the footballverse are ignored without question. It seems that brutal tackles are acceptable when dished out by one of the untouchables. The irony is invisible as witnessed with the cowardly foul Gallas committed on Mark Davies, with led to a goal for the home side from the resulting break away. Wenger, obviously, didn't see it yet feels it wasn't too bad. Didn't see it, but concludes it wasn't too bad. The logic. It's unparalleled. Dismissive. Anyone care to remember the Eduardo Crusade? There were rocks on the moon that knew about the heinous assault on the player thanks to Wenger's relentless ranting. Davies appears to have got lucky (not quite the right way to describe it). Brilliant stuff at the end of the game with Gallas and his Haiti awareness drive. Faux morality at it's finest.

Also worth mentioning how Wenger doesn't think his team did anything wrong by not kicking the ball into touch with a player down injured. How times have changed since 2006. Someone let BMJ know. WengerVision is in full effect.

Peter Crouch will never be awarded a free-kick in his favour, even if sexually assaulted in the penalty area. It would seem it's fair to hang onto the lank, pulling and tugging his shirt, kissing his neck and doing your utmost to drag him down to the ground so you can have your wicked way with him. Next tall person you see on the street, jump on his back and spank his bottom. No one cares. They're freaks. It's what they're meant for.

Bale. I feel for this lad. He isn't a bad player. In fact, going forward he is more than useful. Doesn't defend as brightly so development wise we need to work out where his future should be. Left back or left wing. Wing-back it is then. Regardless of the position the result is always the same. No win. It's not a monkey on his back. It's his monkey face. Resolution? Plastic surgery. Pin back those ears, shave his head and sort out some re-constructive work on his cheek bones and we're set to go!

When's Azza back? We're a one man team.

Next time. Maybe.

Total football and the deafening noise from the Kop defeated us this evening. Back in our box we go. That was dogshit. This is one DVD the club has to commission, not for the Spurs Shop but for our inept players. That's if the club can find them to hand over the match highlights, considering a few went missing tonight.

This was proper eunuch running around in a brothel football. Plenty of movement but not where it matters. The limp lilywhite curse strikes again. Make it 66 games without victory away to a Top 4 club. Even if this particular club was meant to be struggling and without confidence. We simply failed to take the initiative, never recovering from that early sucker-punch of a goal. It wasn't something that surprised me.

Tactically, not good enough. Over to you Harry for that. Did I spot some hoofing out there? Also not enough leadership and not a whimper of the scruff-of-the-neck determination required to change the tempo of the game to suit us. Sure, we had plenty of possession, but the lot of it was powder-puff in the final third. Liverpool had the better efforts. That just about sums it up.

This isn't a knee-jerk by the way. I said in my match preview that this game would not define anything in the long run, although based on the performance its probably telling us we most definitely lack that extra bit of class. Which we know already. When we lose Lennon as an outlet we weaken far too much. Its tragic how we simply fail to adapt. Shame we don't have another right-winger who can came in and do a job for us.

And if we have aspirations we have to adapt. Yes, it's one game, but the only statement we made out there tonight was taken from the usual script and we did nothing to prove to anyone (the players proving it to themselves) that they want to step up a level.

Mental strength. Where art thou.

As mentioned, too many of our 'key' players on the pitch failed to turn up. Not sure I understood the logic behind the subs tonight either.

Overall disappointing. Wasteful. I laughed at the Defoe goal being disallowed. The agenda is alive and well there. The penalty, no complaints. Webb would have collapsed and fainted had he not been given the chance to point to the spot at least once in the course of the game.

We are lacking edge. We sort of know it deep down but go along for the ride and hope they surprise us. But until we get hold of someone in midfield who can push forward and dominate in offensive positions I think we'll continue to flirt with 4th spot but never quite pull her panties down.

It's getting boring now, all the epic fails and facepalms away from home. It was a good opportunity to get something out of this game. Nut sadly, not enough craft, guile or belief.

Onwards. Dirty Leeds up next, then Fulham at home.

Heads up, plenty more twists to come.

In other news...

Kick 'em when they're down. No I'm not referring to Liverpool and our game up at Anfield later this evening. I'm referring to the rather wonderful news item that Sol Campbell is set to sue Pompey for unpaid fees and bonuses. £1.7M in fact.

Hey Sol, Judas Iscariot wants words with you from beyond the grave. Something about image rights...

Liverpool v Spurs: End it

16 years. 65 games, 21 draws, 44 defeats.

Our staggeringly limp and pathetic away record to the 'top four' sides. Unlike other clubs who achieve moderate success on their travels, sometimes providing a shock - we seem to suffer from a self-inflicted psychological problem that stops us from ever getting further than a shared point. We choke and disappoint. I've never been certain of the exact cause. Is it over-confidence? Is it mis-placed belief? Do we perceive ourselves us equals when we should play like underdogs? Should we be more bullish perhaps, more tactically astute? Or should we go for the kill, with no room for respect? Maybe it's simply a curse that relates to fan expectation that somehow causes fragility of the players akin to a big egg falling off a wall, beyond repair. On top of the underlying issue, year upon year of disappointment in these games is going to have a continuing detrimental effect that compounds it further. Although the same could be said of the 16 years of hurt in games against Chelsea until we found the testicular fortitude to turn it around and have since vastly improved our standard against them. As it should be.

One thing is for certain. There must never be fear. Or uncertainty. Big ask that, knowing how powder-puff we can be. A winners mentality is of course birthed from winning.

You know what, I'm sick to death with all the defeatism (i.e. the above paragraph and the fact it had to be mentioned) and also the unnecessary war cry or two that we tend to hear pre-match (remember Robbie Keane's before the game at the Emirates?) I know they're just sound-bites, the type that all players dish out, but it always seems to work against us. A clue perhaps that our players are trying to talk themselves into believing they can.

Liverpool are wounded. Not quite dead and more than able to sit up in a position where a sudden jolt forward and jump up is not beyond the realms of possibility as they land a surprise punch square in our face. But they are still wounded and any crafty movement can be telegraphed if we know what to look for. Their performances lack their usual combination of guile and quality. Instead, they remain fragmented thanks mostly to the gradual drain of confidence and the pressures on their manager. But they've proved more than capable in the past when playing without Gerrard or Torres. Granted, they had Alonso too back then. The fact is, who cares? Sod 'em. Kick 'em when they're down.

This still shouldn't be perceived as 'easy' and we must earn the right from kick-off to own the field, ignoring the predictions of others. Considering the various sub-plots at play it will be (hopefully) highly entertaining.

So simply this; from our perspective we must get at them. Pressure and chase the ball when not in possession and bloody well be ruthless when presented with an opportunity in front of goal (you hear that JJ?). Their fans will no doubt be making ear-bleeding noise. Lap it up. Play like the home side, make them worry about us. Attack them. Destroy them. I want to see Rafa cry.

No Huddlestone this evening, which means Jenas has to use his pace. If there's a game that is crying out for one of his rare uber-performances, this is it. Box to box devastation please (stop laughing).

Still no Lennon (could be out a little longer than expected) and we'll have to wait whether its Crouch up front with Defoe or if Robbie gets his chance against his boyhood team. The defence need to keep an eye on Kuyt and the flanks.

We are 4th. We have dropped important points at home. Points that might have had us comfortably in 3rd. We are now at that point in the season where we must be making strides forwards, the type that aids the mentality of the team in a positive manner and turns hope into something quantifiable. No more talk, plenty of action.

I want to believe.

But I wont be able to personally influence the outcome of the game. Not unless someone emails me the hotel Howard Webb is staying in. It's up to the players. The faith they have in themselves. Either they prove to us they're good enough or they can settle for the status quo. I'm not suggesting this is the be all and end all of our season. Rather it being an opportunity, a stage, to make a statement. One that screams 'we don't give a fucking shit about anything other than the three points'.

90 minutes and a bit of injury time and we'll all know.

COYS.

Jan transfer window shenanigans

Day 19 of the month of January and we've had plenty of nothingness thus far. The Sandro 'deal' appears to be nothing more than an amalgamation of possibilities, twisted and scrunched up presenting to us a story that is neither here or there. He's close to signing one minute, no chance the next. Other hack inspired stories tells us that we are after an experienced right-back...because, you know, because we're always short of this rare breed of a footballer.

Victor Moses is likely to sign for Arsenal rather than us where he will no doubt develop a God complex within the first three months of wearing their colours. Have we been linked to anyone else that we could perhaps pencil in as a serious target (rather than fantasy birthed from the Imaginarium of Doctor Murdoch)?

Ben Foster. We bid for him. Utd rejected the bid. We then denied any knowledge of any bid being made in the first place.

My oh my the excitement is almost at epic bed-wetting proportions. I'm positively glowing.

Pav is STILL at the club. He is, honestly, I read it in the papers. Apparently Zenit are no longer interested. But Roman should be content regardless. His wife is hot. Cue countless well at least he's scoring in bed jokes.

And on the subject of strikers, RVN has been re-linked. Again. Apparently we are 'in talks' with the great man. This is perhaps one whisper that I wouldn't shrug about if we managed to pull it off. So no doubt, it won't be happening. Right?

/scratches head

Odds on us signing zilch? I'd say pretty good at the minute. We are nearing nail biting territory. Last minute panic buy blatantly on the cards. Welcome back Raziak!

Unless we can draft Comolli back in for some last minute transfer shenanigans I think Harry might be content with the squad we have. I just hope we are strong enough to last the distance.

I also hope I'm proved wrong, and we do sign someone. Just make sure it ain't a bleeding right-back please Mr Levy.