NLD journal #1

Afternoon.

Saturday. Small and insignificant matter of the North London Derby to be played out. The nerves, anticipation and expectation hardly kicks in until the morning of the game. I'm actually struggling to inspire myself for yet another 50,000 word epic war cry of an article calling for our players to show an abundance of desire, passion, determination, hunger, tenacity, organisation, cutting edge, end product, professionalism, concentration, never say die attitude and belief. Because as a set standard, all of this should be present from the off.

Yes, yes, injuries have a knock-on effect to formation and tactics (what tactics? Running around a lot and kicking the ball works just fine, right? No need to jot that down on a clipboard). And yes, yes, we always fail to get it right in the build up to this game and then fail despondently on the pitch. I can never understand this knee-jerk the players manage to achieve. At the swamp, we tend to defeat ourselves. Turning up in flip-flops rather than military certified boots, sinking deep in the cesspit.

In the 4-4, we packed a jet-pac to escape drowning.
Last time out, not even half of the team bothered to show up and the ones that did rolled out the red carpet on the marshlands allowing our inbreed hosts to skip joyfully on.

The Carling Cup game should be discounted altogether. Hey, that's what they do, right? Although it serves its purpose as testament to how times are genuinely changing - not in terms of us progressing ahead of them (because we haven't) but in terms of how far they have fallen. Granted, they are still in that degrading pack of three up top, but anyone at the Lane on the night would have laughed out loud at the sheer ecstasy their fans displayed, proclaiming just how important the CC is via their emotions. All of a sudden it matters. When we now suddenly refuse to take it seriously. Their fans, textbook in gloat, describing the game in WengerVision in how their kids beat our first team. Ooh the irony.

But enough with past misdemeanours and misadventures.

Blood and thunder is what this game was forged with in creation. To turn up and roll over for them, it's unacceptable even though it's hardly surprising when it happens. At the Lane last time out (I'm talking about the 2-1) we got it spot on tactically and were fantastic in terms of our will to win the game. We punished them whilst they played pretty football in and around the box without doing much and when they did push and pressured we had a formidable Gomes in goal to shut shop, other than allowing a consolation goal to creep in. We did not choke and when you place it alongside the Chelsea victory that followed, it was all pretty special. An awakening. So hoping we're not snoozing this weekend.

At the Emirates we do like to implode. One good omen this time round is the lack of a Robbie Keane pre-match declaration of victory. There is still time for someone to shag it all up, I'm sure. I hardly take much notice of the talk that goes on before because its just sound-bites and reflexed answers to questions that aid in quotable headlines, always exaggerated for additional effect. Like most games, but it's not a necessity for me to get caught up in a game that hardly requires the help of hype.

Re: the injuries and formational tinkering, I'd rather not linger on any ready made excuses. It's not like Arsenal are without problems. They're inconsistent, can make hard work of trying to walk the ball into the net and are quite obviously beatable at home. It's evenly matched. At least it will be if we turn up with chests pumped out. Nothing worse than clumsy implosion. Would rather lose the game playing out of our skins than lose it cheaply gift-wrapped.

JD might be back. Hudd is out for three months. Agent Gallas will no doubt score an own goal and rip off his shirt to reveal red and white colours then sit in the middle of the pitch crying his eyes out confused and alone. Ten home fans will sing to themselves in the far corner, reciting from their hymn sheets whilst the rest tuck into their half-time ribs. Jenas will score a brilliant brilliant individual goal. But we'll be 7-0 down at the time and when the final whistle is blown, we'll be demanding a dvd from our club shop for the plucky comeback that saw the game finish 7-6.

We need a win. Not just because its them lot but because Christmas is almost upon us and we have to remain anchored to 5th/4th spot so that after reinforcements in January we can truly give it proper go (I'm still holding onto us kick-starting our season any time now).

We need to win, we need to end this ridiculous run of away day blues against the former monopoly, we need to discover sustained swagger. And rather than worry about our defensive frailties, let's just make the most of their defensive frailties.

Momentum. About time we embraced some.

More journals to follow in the build up to the game.

Next time. Maybe.

Total football and the deafening noise from the Kop defeated us this evening. Back in our box we go. That was dogshit. This is one DVD the club has to commission, not for the Spurs Shop but for our inept players. That's if the club can find them to hand over the match highlights, considering a few went missing tonight.

This was proper eunuch running around in a brothel football. Plenty of movement but not where it matters. The limp lilywhite curse strikes again. Make it 66 games without victory away to a Top 4 club. Even if this particular club was meant to be struggling and without confidence. We simply failed to take the initiative, never recovering from that early sucker-punch of a goal. It wasn't something that surprised me.

Tactically, not good enough. Over to you Harry for that. Did I spot some hoofing out there? Also not enough leadership and not a whimper of the scruff-of-the-neck determination required to change the tempo of the game to suit us. Sure, we had plenty of possession, but the lot of it was powder-puff in the final third. Liverpool had the better efforts. That just about sums it up.

This isn't a knee-jerk by the way. I said in my match preview that this game would not define anything in the long run, although based on the performance its probably telling us we most definitely lack that extra bit of class. Which we know already. When we lose Lennon as an outlet we weaken far too much. Its tragic how we simply fail to adapt. Shame we don't have another right-winger who can came in and do a job for us.

And if we have aspirations we have to adapt. Yes, it's one game, but the only statement we made out there tonight was taken from the usual script and we did nothing to prove to anyone (the players proving it to themselves) that they want to step up a level.

Mental strength. Where art thou.

As mentioned, too many of our 'key' players on the pitch failed to turn up. Not sure I understood the logic behind the subs tonight either.

Overall disappointing. Wasteful. I laughed at the Defoe goal being disallowed. The agenda is alive and well there. The penalty, no complaints. Webb would have collapsed and fainted had he not been given the chance to point to the spot at least once in the course of the game.

We are lacking edge. We sort of know it deep down but go along for the ride and hope they surprise us. But until we get hold of someone in midfield who can push forward and dominate in offensive positions I think we'll continue to flirt with 4th spot but never quite pull her panties down.

It's getting boring now, all the epic fails and facepalms away from home. It was a good opportunity to get something out of this game. Nut sadly, not enough craft, guile or belief.

Onwards. Dirty Leeds up next, then Fulham at home.

Heads up, plenty more twists to come.

Liverpool v Spurs: End it

16 years. 65 games, 21 draws, 44 defeats.

Our staggeringly limp and pathetic away record to the 'top four' sides. Unlike other clubs who achieve moderate success on their travels, sometimes providing a shock - we seem to suffer from a self-inflicted psychological problem that stops us from ever getting further than a shared point. We choke and disappoint. I've never been certain of the exact cause. Is it over-confidence? Is it mis-placed belief? Do we perceive ourselves us equals when we should play like underdogs? Should we be more bullish perhaps, more tactically astute? Or should we go for the kill, with no room for respect? Maybe it's simply a curse that relates to fan expectation that somehow causes fragility of the players akin to a big egg falling off a wall, beyond repair. On top of the underlying issue, year upon year of disappointment in these games is going to have a continuing detrimental effect that compounds it further. Although the same could be said of the 16 years of hurt in games against Chelsea until we found the testicular fortitude to turn it around and have since vastly improved our standard against them. As it should be.

One thing is for certain. There must never be fear. Or uncertainty. Big ask that, knowing how powder-puff we can be. A winners mentality is of course birthed from winning.

You know what, I'm sick to death with all the defeatism (i.e. the above paragraph and the fact it had to be mentioned) and also the unnecessary war cry or two that we tend to hear pre-match (remember Robbie Keane's before the game at the Emirates?) I know they're just sound-bites, the type that all players dish out, but it always seems to work against us. A clue perhaps that our players are trying to talk themselves into believing they can.

Liverpool are wounded. Not quite dead and more than able to sit up in a position where a sudden jolt forward and jump up is not beyond the realms of possibility as they land a surprise punch square in our face. But they are still wounded and any crafty movement can be telegraphed if we know what to look for. Their performances lack their usual combination of guile and quality. Instead, they remain fragmented thanks mostly to the gradual drain of confidence and the pressures on their manager. But they've proved more than capable in the past when playing without Gerrard or Torres. Granted, they had Alonso too back then. The fact is, who cares? Sod 'em. Kick 'em when they're down.

This still shouldn't be perceived as 'easy' and we must earn the right from kick-off to own the field, ignoring the predictions of others. Considering the various sub-plots at play it will be (hopefully) highly entertaining.

So simply this; from our perspective we must get at them. Pressure and chase the ball when not in possession and bloody well be ruthless when presented with an opportunity in front of goal (you hear that JJ?). Their fans will no doubt be making ear-bleeding noise. Lap it up. Play like the home side, make them worry about us. Attack them. Destroy them. I want to see Rafa cry.

No Huddlestone this evening, which means Jenas has to use his pace. If there's a game that is crying out for one of his rare uber-performances, this is it. Box to box devastation please (stop laughing).

Still no Lennon (could be out a little longer than expected) and we'll have to wait whether its Crouch up front with Defoe or if Robbie gets his chance against his boyhood team. The defence need to keep an eye on Kuyt and the flanks.

We are 4th. We have dropped important points at home. Points that might have had us comfortably in 3rd. We are now at that point in the season where we must be making strides forwards, the type that aids the mentality of the team in a positive manner and turns hope into something quantifiable. No more talk, plenty of action.

I want to believe.

But I wont be able to personally influence the outcome of the game. Not unless someone emails me the hotel Howard Webb is staying in. It's up to the players. The faith they have in themselves. Either they prove to us they're good enough or they can settle for the status quo. I'm not suggesting this is the be all and end all of our season. Rather it being an opportunity, a stage, to make a statement. One that screams 'we don't give a fucking shit about anything other than the three points'.

90 minutes and a bit of injury time and we'll all know.

COYS.

16 long years of away-day hurt for the Lilywhites

Played 62.

Won 0.

D 20.

L 42.

F 36.

A 114

Pts 20.

It’s been 16 years since we defeated Liverpool at Anfield in the league. That’s 16 years since the last three points collected away from home against one of the ‘Big Four’ (although Chelsea haven’t been a true top four club until recent years, but still, you get the jist of it). We are a soft touch away from the Lane.

This season (where we’ve struggled to beat the small clubs) we’ve had a good record against the top 4 at home (and away) beating Liverpool and Chelsea and taking two points from Arsenal. The 5-2 loss on Saturday was the first time this season we’ve ended with nothing against a Sky Sports elite side in the league. Why we never quite manage to battle towards a win is a curious mystery, when other (considered to be) lesser clubs are able to shock the big four on their home turf from time to time.

We saw both sides of Spurs at Old Trafford. The good (first half) and the bad (second half). The latter being a throw-back to the Spurs we thought we had left behind. It’s a mental block of sorts. A curious psychological problem that steems from a lack of belief and because this was Man Utd, we gave up after the shock of the penalty decision. We were overhauled by the occasion and the injustice. But make no mistake about it, even though Utd upped the tempo and got lucky with the Webb decision, we didn't exactly look like we were trying to continue where we left off after a smart opening 45 minutes.

Jenas cited that Webb was guilty of ‘crumbling under the pressure’. He saw the irony and made sure he mentioned the fact we conceded four further goals.These type of 'switch-off' performances happen often. At home too (Utd 3-5, City 3-4).

No matter the players, no matter the manager, we always have these lapses and negative reactions. I cited lack of leadership and composure in my match report. But there is no need to knee-jerk just yet. Dish out a spanking to WBA this weekend, and we are back on track to end the season on a high. Compared to the start of the season, I’d much rather be worrying about our development than looking over our shoulders at relegation.

Going forward, we (Harry) has to remove the mental block. How that's done exactly, I don't quite know. I guess the answer can be found in the following question: Why does it happen in the first place?