Spurs lose to United at Old Trafford again

Match previews for games at Old Trafford are all pretty much based on the same template no matter the season. We sort of know we're going to lose so we dress up the pre-match war cry to cite how 'it's all about the performance' and that it's important to show a good account of ourselves by fighting with ample tenacity and display desire and other such emotive footballing clichés.

Arguably, losing to Manchester United is hardly something that will leave us tainted with disgrace across our faces. They've been known to win silverware, domestically and in Europe. They have instilled in them a belief system that is pretty much second to none. In other words, they know how to play and they know how to respond positively if they're on the ropes.

My point is, its pretty much okay to cite 'it's all about the performance'. If we go up there on Monday and play stupendously well in a ding-dong game and lose because of a moment of brilliance or the simple fact they deserved it that little bit more - it's not RIP or end of days. Take it on the chin, move on.

But there's more to it than just that. Hence the same recurring template no matter the season.

There is a deep rooted psychological issue at play. We capitulate. We choke. Sure, the great footballing script writer in the sky complicates matters by adding that seasoned ingredient of controversy, usually in the colours of the referee and his assistants. It's a supporting role, sometimes starring...but we still remain accountable for allowing our heads to drop and for the inevitable to consume us. We accept it on the pitch and then post-match we spit blood in protest.

We've done alright at the Lane against United. We just black out up north.

So, to make it as simplistic as possible, we need to play for the shirt and look to win the game. Take it to them. Don't think we need to over complicate matters tactically to combat their team. I don't mean that disrespectfully. United, regardless of their current transition, still won the title off the back of sheer guts and determination. And skill and luck. All glued together by that classic emotive cliché 'belief'. Obviously, that part about skill along with additional qualities like focus and tempo and punishing clinicality are equally essential. As are the top drawer players. Belief is hardly enough if you don't match your opponents on the field of play, pound for pound.

And we can do so. We've hardly got a shabby outfit. Perhaps not strong in certain areas but perhaps as strong in others.

We have a bloody good squad of players. Quality through the spine of the side and we'll improve further once we announce Adebayor and Diarra (and hopefully another player). There is no need for fear or even a sheepish look back in anger to the past painful defeats.

Look forward. Take the game to them. Play football, play it the Spurs way. And for the love of all things Lilywhite, remove the potential for any controversy to shape the games life-span by embracing destiny, in fact no, forget the embrace, just kidnap the dizzy cow, tie her up and throw her into the boot of the car. Take control, unequivocally and without remorse. Want it and want to win otherwise what's the point? We have the players to compete. We need that belief to glue it altogether.

No apologetic looks up to the sky or shrugs at the man with the whistle. No implosions or mistakes. No longer be the victim. Commit the crime. Be ruthless b*stards. I guess the question that needs answering is - do we have it in us (that combination of belief and quality of players) to see it through.

Speaking of the apologetics, worth noting that I'm not suggesting that its our fault Howard Webb is so horrifically inconsistent with decision making or the linesman who was looking down instead of across and missed the Mendes goal. Just that none of it will matter if we're simply better than them on the day and it pays off with goals. Like I said, remove the potential for it to be used as an excuse.

It's a big ask. It always is. But it's hardly impossible. I know that. Let's hope the players are just as aware. We've broken so many hoodoos in recent seasons. This is one that remains with much frustration and mockery.

This preview actually fits perfectly into the aforementioned seasoned template for this encounter. Let's hope the usual outcome doesn't knowingly nod it's appreciation.

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Things I missed out on this past Sunday

Cracking debut from Andros Townsend. Confident, quick, tricky, jet heeled, right foot, left foot, controlled passing, chips, a goal. Okay so it was against Charlton in the FA Cup and we've been here before with impressive first games from yoof players. Feet firmly on ground then, but dare to whisper it - we might have something here. Much like Kyle Walker, a loan to another Prem side might aid with development and let us know how he would shape up against better quality opposition, week in week out. Steven Caulker (who continues to impress out on loan) makes it a trio of tenacity in terms of hope for the future.

Not a lot from Palacios and Sandro other than Wilson struggling to assert himself onto the game because it just wasn't that type of game for a player of his ilk (tackle this tackle that) and the Brazilian is still bedding himself into life in England, strong and hard working, no glitz or glam.

Defoe being given the freedom of the park.

Modric, the Croatian Xavi, doing his usual effortless swashing around. Untouchable and sublime in movement and passing. Changed the game from a nothingness first half to a comfortable three to nil second. But then from the sounds of it, his inclusion was much required as you're unlikely to get anything in the way of creativity from a centre pairing consisting of two DM's.

So players rested and players that played sort of tested. Still no spark from disillusioned Niko? No surprise, what with him being disillusioned. Fulham away in the next round. Will probably need to play a stronger more balanced side there.

In other news. Beckham is signing. Might stay on permanently. Then Beckham isn't signing. Then he's just training with us for a month - official. Then the deal might be back on for the loan. Then not. It's to do with insurance. Then it's not because of insurance. Then it's back on. Or not? Make up your own headline. You probably won't be too far wrong. Could have done without the constant sound biting commentary from Harry. It's bad enough listening to all the nonsense from the ITK community let alone having our own gaffer give us information that he then contradicts be proclaiming he doesn't actually know what's happening. Down boy down.

If he does just train with us and nothing more, then I guess the advantage is there's no chance of impacting team selection in a negative way (not that he would if he was given permission to play) and we simply reap the benefits of having him on the training pitch, piggybacking Azza around.

Not too shabby for a weekend, where most of us probably sort of switched off and rested a little before we start to focus on Manchester United at the Lane.

Howard Webb anyone?

The Theatre of Tears

Continuing on from this, United truly wind me up. But equally, so do Spurs on occasions (so many occasions) when they allow self-defeatism to drag them towards the inevitable empty points haul that we leave Old Trafford with.

The last time we won there can probably be found in the depths of the Spurs Shop store room on a dusty Betamax in a damp corner. Long forgotten about other than the mouse chewing away at the tape. Until said mouse notices a far more appetising VHS.

So with no Howard Webb in the equation, what will give way and will it give way our way?

Potential scenarios (based on historical depression):

1) We start brightly, pressure United, score, United come back into it, make it 1-1, we go on the back-foot and then go 2-1 down, and then United score a third to kill us off.

2)  It's a scrappy match, both teams struggling to get a stranglehold on the midfield, United get a penalty which they score, the game continues to be scrappy, United get another goal, this one a screamer from about 30 yards out. Misery. Heads down. Still nothing since 1989.

3) United steam-roll us, we never get into the game. They turn it on. Tabloids proclaim the return of majestic form for the biggest club in the universe.

4) We score a legitimate goal which gets disallowed for no apparent reason other than incompetence. And lose 1-0 to goal from a defensive lapse.

5) We start brightly, take the lead, then take a position that suggests there is simply no way back for them and then we…choke. Textbook 'flatter to deceive' performance which sees United shove us aside nonchalantly as we fall back to our textbook position - on our arse at OT. Four or five home goals. Match of the Day removed from Sky+ series link.

6) We turn up. Boss the midfield. Play with confidence and belief. Score. Score again. Remain strong. Make clever tactical substitutions. United get a goal back. But it's too late. We win. We end our miserable away to a 'top 4 side' record. Spurs fans across the forums and blogs of the internet rejoice with suggestions that one striker in Jan will mean = title contenders. Fans in the away end French-kiss. I get a tattoo on my back of Harry eating the Champions League trophy. Man Utd fans in tears, Bale signalling to the home crowd 'I will never join Utd, you prawn loving losers', whilst Modric plants a flag in the centre-circle of a Cockerel and ball.



I've stuck £1000 on number 6. This is the best chance we've had in years of getting something up there. Sure, I'm not naive enough to believe United are suddenly worthless, far from it. They have enough players of quality on their day to beat anyone - even with their light-weight midfield and lack of Rooney circa 2009. The difference is, we've improved. Probably not massively this season in terms of stepping up a gear, but this game on Saturday, its one that can define our season for sure.

Step up Harry. Step up Bale, Modric, Huddlestone, van der Vaart, Lennon. Sandro. No matter who starts. Step up Crouch or Pav (I've sort of ruined the speech now haven't I?). Step up not just guile and tenacity - but for once, let's see some of that relentless never say die we're going to beat you any which way we can belief that them in the Red we face churn out season after season.

Get in their faces. Invade their personal space. Show no respect. Dish out to them what they routinely dish out to us. And never - not for a second - take a single moment for granted, no matter the score.

Want to play in the big boys playground? You need to kick 'em in the nuts first, show them you can handle the pace. Make their eyes water.

To dare is to stick it up the bollix of Berbatov. COYS.

Spurs 3 Rovers 1

9 games to go. Are you positively buzzing with excitement? You should be. I don't care about how difficult our remaining fixtures are, the harder they fall right? Usually it's us laying flat on the floor, face in mud, but I can see this going to the wire simply because it's been on the wire since practically the start. And having the likes of Chelsea and Arsenal (at home) might just turn out to be a blessing. We've done Chelsea a couple of times in recent seasons at the Lane. Arsenal? Well, it's been too long, and those lucky lucky mongs ('special spirit', lol) and their voodoo over us must be ended. The bigger they are, the harder they fall. And if we happen to shag it up against lesser opponents, we'll still have a say in the title race, a massive one, as we've also got Utd to play (and City) although tradition would suggest we'd be lubed up and bending over for them at Old Trafford with Howard Webb no doubt present, overseeing matters, holding a butt-plug and grinning.

Talking of Webb...actually, let's come back to him later.

First up, the win. 3-1 against Fat Sams lot in a game where Roman didn't play too well, missed a couple of decent chances but scored two goals, so even though he might have drifted in and out of the game and done his very best Andrew Cole impersonation (that's Andrew, not Andy) he still bagged himself a brace and could have had a hat-trick had he been a tad less casually with his lobbed effort. Good stuff that man. 8 in 6 games. It's impressive. And if you have an off-day and still score twice, then there's little to complain about.

Bale was strong and bold, worked his socks off demanding the ball and giving Salgado a tormented time. Yes, yes, Michel is an old man, but Gareth is doing this week in and week out. Will be interesting to see how he fairs in the left-wing position against the likes of Chelsea and Arsenal, and my money is on him continuing his stunning form. Season of comebacks this, with Roman and Bentley (until his injury) working their way back into our good books.

Dawson and Bassong were fine at the back, Daws showing off with his long range passing. Bassong, reliable and comfortable. Wilson (one card away from a suspension which might well prove to have devastating consequences if he happens to miss one of the Big Three games) was just flipping great in midfield. Again. Wasn't the best of games for Modric but then it wasn't the best of games full stop with the most effective play coming from the wings rather than through the middle. Although Wilson did play a delicious through-ball at one point that Luka would have been proud of. Palacios is back baby, he's back!

Corluka, not so great (wonderfully summed up here by AANP) and Niko struggled to impose himself. Special mention to BAE and his over-head kicks.

So in the midst of some decent individual performances and some sort-of half-decent-but-not-amazing attacking play, the game appeared to be conducted in part by the referee. Back to Howard, caught in yet another Webb. Although this time his incompetency was evenly shared out with our guests, Blackburn.

Incident One

Dunn, fouled in the penalty area, squashed between two Lilywhites. The soft lad, tumbling over. No penalty. Phew for us, but when watched over, arguably the wrong decision. But I (we) can live with that.

Pav has a couple of efforts, and then just before half-time, Niko corner, Charlie flicks it on and JD poaches it home. 1-0, half-time. Deserved. 23 goals for Defoe this season. Applaud that.

Second half, Rovers are a little bit more lively, but alas, we counter and JD feeds Roman who fires in a shot that manages to bounce under Jason Brown (Robbo off injured allowing a rest-bite from all the singing from the home fans, yes, we still sing up for Robbo, quaint stuff) for 2-0. These things happen.

Incident Two

Penalty to Spurs, although there is no guarantee we'll score it and, no, hold up...no penalty. Webb, standing in what was a perfect position gives a goal-kick. Bale taken down by Salgado. Blatantly. 

Unbelievable.

No pen. Guilt for not giving Rovers a pen? I guess he wasn't in a decent enough position for the Dunn incident, possibly saw his mistake at half-time, and sprinkled his own unique brand of anti-spurs karma on this decision. If it's not a penalty then book Bale. He doesn't. So what kind of consistency is this? You make one mistake, surely you make up for it by getting it right the next time? In fact what you should do as a ref is react solely based on the incident regardless of what has or has not been given before. I can only deduce that Webb is making concious decisions when to give or not give a decision based on his own personal agenda. The man is a fucking clown.

Incident Three

Bale fouled again in the box. No penalty again. Although someone who watched this on Sky Sports might be able to confirm if it was in or out of the box (if I got this wrong, then ignore incident three, happy to admit to my mistake).

Blackburn score with around 10 minutes to go which meant that we were about to enter the 'bite your nails off' arena with Spurs putting us all through the mire once more. Samba climbing all over Dawson (not that I would have disallowed it, but there are ref's out there that would have) to nod the ball in. Soft goal, Gomes caught in a huddle of players, lost but inconsequential because surprisingly we scored a third. Pav on his own, fluffs it, and seconds later the ball finds its self crossed over to Bale who strikes a majestic volley-pass across the face of the goal for Roman to score - with additional credit to Pascal Chimbonda who seemed to be man-marking himself and no-one else. 3-1. The end. Or not quite.

Incident Four

Webb's agenda by the way is a form of self-cleansing and perhaps not giving us a pen resulted with him disallowing a superb effort from Kalinic. Handball apparently. Even though Dawson fouled the player resulting in the handball.

Seems Howard Webb is incapable of simply ghosting through a game and allowing it to be about the players and the teams rather than his comical attempts at being masterful with officiating.

I'm guessing had this been us versus a <insert top 4 monopoly team here> his mistakes would have been far more specific and concentrated (against us, no doubt).

Yes, yes, conspiracy this conspiracy that. Read it and dry them:

2007/8, Man Utd (Old Trafford)
0-0 after 60mins, Berbatov rounds van der Sar and shoots, only for Wes Brown to block the shot with his arm. Webb does not give the penalty. Alan Hansen described it as "clearly a penalty" and that Brown should have been sent-off.

2008/9, Man Utd (Old Trafford)
Spurs leading 2-0 after 57mins, Webb gives a shocking penalty to United. After the game, and after a huge amount of (negative) coverage, he apologises for the decision.

2009/10, Chelsea (Stamford Bridge)
1-0 to Chelsea after 55mins, Keane is through on goal but is brought down by Carvalho. Webb doesn't give the penalty. It was described by the Guardian live text as "Absolute 100%, 24-carat stonewall penalty to Spurs. Not given."

2009/10, Liverpool (Anfield)
Liverpool leading 1-0 after 35mins, Kyrgiakos is all over Crouch in the box. Webb gives a free-kick to Liverpool, described as a "strange decision" on BBC Sport's live text.

After 47mins, Defoe capitalises on a mistake in the Liverpool defence to score, but Webb disallows the goal. The match report on the BBC Sport webpage says "the exact nature of the offence was not clear".

200/910, Blackburn (White Hart Lane)
Spurs leading 2-0 after 65mins, Bale is brought down in the box by Salgado. Webb doesn't give a penalty. BBC Sport's live text states "I'm not sure how or why that wasn't a penalty".

(compiled by Day of the Triffics pt.2)

There's incompetency and then there's Howard sodding Webb. 

In the end, we still won. And won well. Still 4th. Still in it. And that's about as much as you can ask for from the team. 19 points the target. 3 taken, 16 more required. So says Harry.

Onwards.

COYS.

Observations after Anfield...

Some observations after Anfield and beyond...(reposted, as the original article had comments disabled)

Did we learn anything from the 2-0 loss? We learnt that we always, without fail, choke when expectations are high. In fact we choke even when expectations are not high. Without fail. Ha! All we had to do was show some assertive swagger at Anfield and instead we failed miserably. Between now and April - if we stand any chance, any chance at all of finishing 4th - we have to remain unbeaten. Because April could well be a shower of pain. Take a look at the fixture list, then go sit in the corner of a room and slowly rock your body forwards and backwards until the men in white coats help you up.

Howard Webb is a mong. How many times has he directly influenced a game against our favour now?

Aston Villa 6 Blackburn 4. Did I really miss this game? Nine different goal-scorers? I even removed the recording from Sky+ just after it began because the other half wanted me to record American Idol. Which I happen to watch with her. Well, she doesn't actually watch it. I watch it on my own. With popcorn.

Did Jenas have a good game? Once more he divides opinion. Some people think he's shit others think he's crap. So, what do you think? Did he work hard or was he ineffectual out there? Flattered to deceive or under-rated? Who knows. Fact is he never does anything that can be perceived as completely comprehensive one way or the other.

The men holding the flags and the mong with the whistle are utterly incapable of understanding the offside rule and how it works in a passage of play where the player comes back into an onside position before the ball is played forwards again. Which is what happened with Defoe. I think.

Was I the only person who thought that was Pav on the touchline coming on only to then see Hutton? I think it's safe to say that our 'squad depth' is vastly over-rated.

Arsenal continue to exist within a bubble where the laws of the footballverse are ignored without question. It seems that brutal tackles are acceptable when dished out by one of the untouchables. The irony is invisible as witnessed with the cowardly foul Gallas committed on Mark Davies, with led to a goal for the home side from the resulting break away. Wenger, obviously, didn't see it yet feels it wasn't too bad. Didn't see it, but concludes it wasn't too bad. The logic. It's unparalleled. Dismissive. Anyone care to remember the Eduardo Crusade? There were rocks on the moon that knew about the heinous assault on the player thanks to Wenger's relentless ranting. Davies appears to have got lucky (not quite the right way to describe it). Brilliant stuff at the end of the game with Gallas and his Haiti awareness drive. Faux morality at it's finest.

Also worth mentioning how Wenger doesn't think his team did anything wrong by not kicking the ball into touch with a player down injured. How times have changed since 2006. Someone let BMJ know. WengerVision is in full effect.

Peter Crouch will never be awarded a free-kick in his favour, even if sexually assaulted in the penalty area. It would seem it's fair to hang onto the lank, pulling and tugging his shirt, kissing his neck and doing your utmost to drag him down to the ground so you can have your wicked way with him. Next tall person you see on the street, jump on his back and spank his bottom. No one cares. They're freaks. It's what they're meant for.

Bale. I feel for this lad. He isn't a bad player. In fact, going forward he is more than useful. Doesn't defend as brightly so development wise we need to work out where his future should be. Left back or left wing. Wing-back it is then. Regardless of the position the result is always the same. No win. It's not a monkey on his back. It's his monkey face. Resolution? Plastic surgery. Pin back those ears, shave his head and sort out some re-constructive work on his cheek bones and we're set to go!

When's Azza back? We're a one man team.

Bad news for Wednesday clash at Anfield

/facepalm

Sky Sports 3 Tottenham Hotspur 0

Has anyone picked up and read today's copy of The Sun, that bastion of impartial reporting? No? Ok, no worries. Let me share with you some key moments from the match report from the Chelsea v Spurs game.

And despite Harry Redknapp's side having tested Chelsea in all areas until then, the contest was over.

- Was it really? How so? Do games end when one the home team takes a 1-0 lead? Was it that one-sided that the white towels were raining down on Stamford Bridge?

Redknapp complained bitterly that Robbie Keane should have had a penalty nine minutes into the second half but the claim was more doubtful than the outcome.

- Are you blind? I guess you would be down there on your knees taking it. Learn to close your eyes. It's what all the best starlets do.

The same cannot be said of Ricardo Carvalho's on Keane but the reaction of the Spurs skipper led to justice, regardless of the claims. Carvalho did make contact but Keane initially stayed on his feet before tumbling like a stuntman. Ref Howard Webb waved away the appeals and even refused to book Keane for diving - despite his insistence he should get one if there was no foul. All of this, however, was an example of wasted energy from Spurs.

- Possibly one of the most ludicrous statements made in any match report. Ever. Well, this weekend at the very least. But this is The Sun we're talking about. Ironically a paper Harry writes for - so should be interesting to see how he plans to use his column in this losing war of propaganda and distortion to fight the fight. Tumbling like a stuntman? Yes, we beat you 2-1 at Upton Park. Dry them. Wasted energy? What like the Top 4 clubs waste energy chasing down and attempting to influence the ref, week in week out? Or are you too busy begging for another moneyshot in the face to notice?

Chelsea are top of the league, a 100 per cent record and playing well - who could ask for more?

- Whoop-de-do. What more could any of us possibly ask for? I'm sitting stroking myself I'm so happy that no boat has been rocked and that the status quo is still in it's divine place, up there in the Gods. You absolute wound of a journalist.

There you go. Fact turned to fiction in one simplistic match report. I guess asking a West Ham fan (Ian McGarry) to report on a Spurs game will always result with this type of bullshit, appeasing the untouchable aura of a Top 4 club. Shame on anyone who though it was a pen, right? Even though it was, it wasn't actually a penalty because saying that Spurs could have had a way back into the game would be stating that Chelsea could have possibly suffered for it. The very thought is blasphemy.

Ok, look. I'm not going to start throwing conspiracy theories all over the place about how ref's consciously or subconsciously protect the members of the Sky Sports Super league, making sure that key decisions at key moments always go their way. You can argue that its just coincidental in that the standard of referring isn't particularly good and that these types of decisions can go either way. Except if you add them up you'll find them stacked up against us. Although I've heard plenty of Man Utd fans say the same thing about ref's and their side, so it's all in the eye of the beholder.

However, how can you not be bitter when the same incompetent clown - who gave Utd  a pen last season at OT when we were 2-0 up - decides that Keane wasn't fouled on Sunday afternoon? Did he not see it clearly? Did he think Keane dived? If so where was the yellow card? And if he believed Robbie lost his balance, logically, would that not have been because he was tripped? Key decision, key moment. And then we're 2-0 down within two minutes.

There were other moments in the game that had me in facepalm mode. Defoe brought down just outside the area was one example. God forbid we get a freekick just outside the box. Damn it, I want to see Huddlestone smack the ball into the wall…do not deny me this!

Webb's lack of performance aside, we didn't look too bad in the first half. Second half, it all went wrong. From the no-penalty to King going off injured (game over for certain at this point) and then Bassong off on a stretcher. We lost shape. We lost hope. It was comfortable for them. It was lucky it stayed at 3-0.

We are desperately missing Modric and having Utd and Chelsea in the first two games without him have not helped as Harry has looked at shaping the team in a certain why to live with the both of them and it hasn't worked. On Sunday, their fullbacks enjoyed plenty of success. And yes, it would be nice to one day see us take moments of injustice and truly take the game by the scruff rather than heads dropping downwards. Are we a one-man team? Nope. But we could have done with far more comfortable fixtures.

But that's neither here or there. We lacked full pelt effort at home to United and no luck at Chelsea. The harsh reality is we are some way off from the Top 4. We knew that before both of these games. What we need, now and again, is for people like Webb to avoid blatant fuck-ups and award decisions our way. Because that sort of decision can possibly aid us in producing one of those type of upsets that people like Richard Keyes have nightmares about. It seems that the difference between us and sides like Chelsea sometimes come down to the ref rather than the players on the pitch.

I'd like us to work towards a level where our destiny within the 90 minutes is completely in our hands and we win games with football and not the ref's whistle. That way there are no ready-made excuses and what-if's. Because there is nothing worse than the day after being spent thinking about how the game could have turned out differently.

Will blog some more about the game later.

It's football Jim, but not as we know it

So there I was. Popcorn. Cold beer. Hooker on speed dial for half-time. Remote control sat beside me on the sofa so that I could avoid the half-time tactical punditry from the ITV team. In hindsight, I wish I had avoided the forty five minutes either side of the interval. Monumental let-down, but then again, I was naïve to think that Chelsea would allow Barca to run rampantly all over them. Would be suicidal to go there and attempt to out play the Catalans. Hiddink was wise to have his team play defensively deep and man mark players. I only noticed Lampard when he found himself sitting on the bench. Chelsea’s tactic was too soak up the pressure, nullify Messi, Henry and Eto’o and possibly, cheekily grab an away goal from a counter. It almost worked.

In the end, neither side found a way through. I was not only bored and despondent that I had not seen a masterclass of epic Champions League football, I also found myself screaming obscenities at the tv everytime the ball went near Drogba as I preferred to be in full vocal colourful flow when treated to the inevitable dive. Alves was no better. As for ITV, just how giddy are they when they host these live games? They drown in the hype of their own mediocre coverage. How ironic that their big night would end with no fireworks. The only person who scored was me and for that, I’d like to thank Louise from the agency for her prompt services and ample abilities.

As for my Barca fix, roll on El Classico.

Elsewhere, Harry has apologised for slating Darren Bent earlier this season when he told the world that his wife could have scored the chance Bent squandered. How we laughed. And cried. Bent has now scored 17 goals, which isn’t too shabby for a player that nobody rates. Unless you rate him? Bent has been the subject of discussion half a dozen times this season, and subjected to various ‘What does he do?’ articles on this here blog and practically every Spurs message board out there.

He isn’t a dynamic fox-in-the-box (Defoe) forward or a classical goal-poacher (Lineker) and arguably, he only plays well when Spurs are forced to play a certain type of style (usually, away from home, on the counter, long ball over the top for him to run onto). He struggles with movement and all-round play. But, he scores. He finds himself in the right place at the right time. But there’s no doubt that if Defoe was up there instead of him, Defoe would also score – but would also contribute a lot more than Bent. It’s all very subjective, and one Spurs fan would find himself disagreeing with the next one. For the time being, Bent deserves both our support and the managers. Cometh the summer, he will probably be someone else’s conundrum.

And finally, Howard Webb. Remember him? He’s been demoted, relegated and dismissed from the Premier League. For this weekend at least. The FA have punished him for his penalty cock-up by giving him to the Championship to officiate the crucial top of the table Reading v Birmingham game. That ought to teach him!

In defence of Jermaine Jenas

So JJ is in trouble with the FA over his choice of words in the aftermath of the 5-2 defeat in the 'Theatre of you must be Dreaming if you think you’ll ever going to win here'.

What did JJ state exactly?

"I think it was a case of a referee crumbling under the pressure at Old Trafford really. The atmosphere, the occasion, the importance of the match, a lot of factors take their toll when making decisions."

Along with:

"One thing which struck me about it was that he [Webb] didn't even think [about the penalty decision]. It was like he'd already made his mind up when he came out for the second half that he was going to give something."

So what did he state exactly? The bloody bleeding obvious. Did Howard Webb not admit to making a mistake? Although he won’t admit to the reasons behind why he found it so easy to blow a whistle and point to the spot we all know that he did so because it’s what you do if you struggle to hold your nerve.

From the Daily Mail

But then, objectively, it’s impossible to say one way or another if the referee had made a premeditated decision to give something to the home side. But there is a culture within the game that sees some refs more inclined to be influenced by the big clubs. I know it’s pretty much hearsay and theoretical but had that penalty shout come from Spurs players in the opposite box – would he have blown the whistle? He obviously – through his own admittance - got it wrong and knew at the time he had made a mistake. Explains the yellow card (rather than red) for Gomes. So what makes a professional, whose job it is to officiate a professional game, make such a glaring amateur mistake? If he didn’t see it, if he wasn’t 100% then speak the assistant ref. Or better still, don’t give it.

What Jenas is getting at is that you have to be in a particular frame of mind to be so easily susceptible to a penalty incident and to a degree, at a subconscious level, you sort of know what you are going to do before you do it.

Decisions like these are given all the time, in games that do not carry the same weight of importance as the one on Saturday did. It’s because it was Utd and because it was an important league game and the fact that we were 2-0 up that it’s riled the players and fans alike.

In reality, its probably down to the fact that refs are just human...and rubbish. But they always seem to be less human and more rubbish when its a little club versus a big club.

Yes, we collapsed pathetically straight after it – and this should be the priority to JJ and the rest of the players rather than dwelling on the injustice of the incident. Can’t change it now. But maybe his words will linger in the thoughts of other refs. Much like when Moyes called Mike Riley a United fan.

Seems if you want decisions to go your way, you need to influence the refs yourself.

Either that, or change your team to Man Utd.

Spurs, black helicopters and men in black - The Truth is out there...

Half-time at Old Trafford

Disguised Voice: Don't leave this game alone, Agent Webb.

Webb: What?

Disguised Voice: They will not tolerate a buck to the trend.

Webb: Who are you?

Disguised Voice: I, er, can be of help to you. I've had a certain interest in your work.

Webb: How do you know about my work?

Disguised Voice: Well, let's just say that I'm in a position to know quite a lot of things, er, things about our game.

Webb: Who are you? Who do you work for?

Disguised Voice: It's unimportant; I came here to give you some valuable advice. You are exposing yourself and your fellow professionals to unnecessary risk, I advise you to change the game.

Webb: I can't do that.

Disguised Voice: You have much work to do, Agent Webb, don't jeopardise the future of your own efforts.

--

Post-match in the away dressing room

Bond: Would you explain to me what's going on.

Redknapp: I think they re-wired Webb's brain. Some kind of selective memory drain.

Bond: The brain doesn't work like that, Harry. You can't just go in and erase certain files.

Redknapp: Then you explain it to me.

Bond: There's a  type of Narcolepsy th..

Redknapp: This is not Narcolepsy, I think it's something far more deliberate and insidious.

Bond: All I'm saying, is that the science or medical technology to do what you are suggesting, does not exist.

Redknapp: And neither does the technology to re-watch the type of controversy we saw yesterday.

--

In the aftermath of the game

DEEP THROAT: Your life may be in danger.

Harry: Why?

DEEP THROAT: Mmm, you've seen things that weren't to be seen. Care and discretion, are now imperative.

Harry: I saw something I...

DEEP THROAT: As I said, I can provide you with information, but only so long as it's in my best interest to do so.

Harry: What is your interest?

DEEP THROAT: The truth.

Harry: I did see something, but it's gone, they took it from me, they erased it. You have to tell me what it was.

DEEP THROAT: Three points? Mr. Redknapp, why are those like yourself, who believe in the existence of a Premier League illuminati in this country, not dissuaded by all the evidence to the contrary?

Redknapp: Because, all the evidence to the contrary, is not entirely dissuasive.

DEEP THROAT: Precisely.

Redknapp: They're here, aren't they?

DEEP THROAT: Mr. Redknapp, they've been here for a long long time.

Redknapp: Triffic.

Re-worked from the X-Files episode 'Deep Throat (1x01) written by Chris Carter - from the excellent transcript from the Generation Terrorists site.

Utd 5 Spurs 2 - I hate football

At 2-0 up I muttered the immortal words: "If Spurs don't win from this position, they will never beat United". Oh how the Gods unzipped and showered me with their irony.

It was going so well. Bent getting in amongst them to control and hit for the first, Modric the second from a Lennon cross. In at half-time, two up. And playing well. With confidence. We took our chances with relative ease. Surely we can hold onto it if the same ineffective Utd returned for the second? Sadly that didn't happen. The Utd of a few months back started to turn the screws having decided to turn up for the second 45 mins, but still we sat at 2-0 to the good. All the way up to the 57th minute when the Gods pulled their pants down completely, turned around and unloaded an almighty number two. Penalty to Utd. Did Gomes get the ball? Did he get the player? Was it a penalty? If it was, then why did Howard Webb not dish out a red card too? Having seen it a couple of times on replay, it wasn't clear cut by a long long way. But why should that stop the ref from giving them a route back into the game? The sooner we get refs into our fantasy football sides the better. They would score a bundle of points with their assists. But it was still only 2-1. Let's not collapse Tottenham. Don't collapse. What do we do? We collapse quicker than Stephen Hawking attempting to snowboard down the side of Kilimanjaro.

Still, you can’t deny Utd as an attacking force. And softer pens have been given in the past. But let's not linger too much on that one single incident. Let's move onto the 'laying down for them' bit.

And boy, did we lay down for them.

Confidence gone. Almost akin to something of prior seasons when our backbone turns to jelly just because the opposing team suddenly have belief. Yes, we are 2-0 up against the mighty Man Utd. So what? Push on, attack, force a third. Don't be dumbstruck by the occassion.

Far easier for us to allow that one decision, to knee-jerk us to a spanking.

Where was that little bit of leadership and composure? Not sure at the moment I want to start having a dig at our players (because I really can't be bothered on the back of this result). But at full pelt, Utd are impossible to defend against. More so if that much needed leadership and composure is non-existent.

Rooney, 67, Ronaldo 68, Rooney 71. 3-2.

The Gods had obviously feasted on a curry late yesterday evening.

When Berbatov casually, apologetically, bundled the ball for a 5th I momentarily died a little inside.

I hate football. Hate it.

If Spurs don't win from this position, they will never beat United.