68 games and counting...

Utd 2 Spurs 0

I wont be mentioning that goal.

In the grand scheme of things, another loss at Old Trafford probably doesn't change anything. In fact, from a psychological perspective, it probably didn't even hurt our players - who displayed more oomph in complaining at the death of the game than across the whole limp ninety minutes.

It was a performance that lacked spark, ideas and cutting edge in the final third. There just wasn't enough there to carve out enough chances to stake a claim on the three points.

Far too many under-whelming Lilywhites, under-par and from the looks of it under the big bruising thumb of United. Again.

The Manc side were not exceptional in any great way. Efficient. And focused. But not beyond the realms of defeat. They could have been got at if we had some of that long lost intensity and desire. But I guess if you can't pluck up the courage, you're still a level away looking up at them rather than fighting to compete.

Ignoring certain old skool inclusions in the side and missing players - we still had enough about us to give it decent go. We saw evidence of growth and evolution last season - even with injuries and tinkering. What I don't like is this almost defeatist attitude in the manner of our play, as if this game did not warrant that extra lung-busting will to better the opposition.

If the gaffer drills it into the player in the week leading up - this game is a must win game - then we'd have had a right go at them. I don't believe this is as good as we can get when facing a not that scary United side.

Dare I mention Tuesday and Inter. It looked like their minds were on this game and not on the one playing out at OT.

We played some good football, there was some decent movement, but nothing that made me believe we would score or win. Their first goal was thanks to some non-existent defending. Kaboul poor for giving away the free-kick and then losing his marker. He's not a centre-back.

At half-time you'd still have believed something might give, if we stepped up the pace. But we kept stalling the car. Failing to turn the keys, but then why bother turning them when the tank is empty? Long walk home it is then.

Tottenham, I'm afraid, simply did not want it as much as they could have wanted it, considering that a win would have meant far more than a win on Tuesday (because the game on Tuesday is not a decider, the ones against the Dutch and German clubs are).

Beating United at OT would have been far more significant.

Still, perhaps the selection wasn't the best for the occasion.

Keane, wasn't that great, but then did okay for someone playing in a position which was slightly isolated and as he didn't come deep too often to collect the ball, his performance looked worse than it did. But still, you have to accept his time is over. He just hasn't got the mojo.

Jenas played the ball forward once or twice, which for him is rare positivity. But he's not strong enough in mind and spirit to make us stronger. Our midfield was brushed past too often.

Both are not first-team players and it showed why.

As for the rest? Some mentions:

Hutton is detrimental to Lennon. The more the Scotsman got forward the less Lennon impacted the game. Azza did have a good first 45 until Hutton decided to take over the offensive duties.

Modric faded a little in the second half, but although he was busy dinking around the pitch, it's still far from vintage.

vdV was superb in the first half not so superb in the second and I'm hoping the hamstring injury was exaggerated a little, only in the sense that now we've lost, he can be fit for Inter. Cracking effort off the woodwork.

Did Bale get his beach holiday or not? Very quiet evening for him.

I find myself slapping my face with this one, but Roman improved us when he was subbed on.

As much as I do agree a new forward and another midfielder/defender might elevate us further, there has to be a change, another evolution, in terms of priority and focus with these games.

It felt far too ominous for me early on. It's tiresome now Spurs. Let's stop playing for DVD's in Europe and start playing for morale boosting points in the Prem.

Tactically, it didn't work. We had no apparent plan. We need to smarten up for these types of fixtures once and for all. I keep calling for us to up the tempo like we've done against Chelsea at home in recent seasons or play smart football like we did against Arsenal at the Lane last time out when we let them play pretty football which amounted to pretty much nothing then hit them hard twice.

Best post over on GG was the statement that went something like 'f*ck attempting to play free-flowing footie, just do a Stoke on them'. The idea here is to get in their faces, push and hassle and do the utmost to stop them playing. Play ugly and win. Just to get out of our systems. Just to edge that psychological barrier closer for us to jump over. I'm not someone who would usually suggest that and if I'm honest, I want Tottenham football the way it should be played, but it's time we took a leaf out of the United way and recycled our possession and made opportunities count.

Be relentlessness and punish. Of course, perhaps the reason why we can't always manage this and never seem to be able to do so away to these teams is because we don't quite have what's required on the pitch. And perhaps on the bench in terms of management. No knee-jerk here, just that at some point we have to show some b*llocks and stand tall.

So to conclude from an overall perspective taking everything into account, at the minute, 4th spot is as good as it will get which means we need to start to better Man City's results and make sure Everton and friends do not fly past us.

The battle for fourth is on. We can review again after Christmas and the closure (after the re-opening) of the transfer window and decide then if there's anything more to be had.

I'll leave you with the billion dollar question: How do we improve our mentality?

In the meantime, COYS.

Clattenburg 2 Tottenham 0

Let's get the Nani goal out of the way first.

I'm doing this from memory as I watched it on a stream and if there is anything that's not quite on the money with regards to the time-line of the incident and it's events, then talk up. That's the whole point of a discussion thread.

Okay, so here we go...


1) Nani in the box, Kaboul is pulling the red shirt down, and the United player decides he may as well give into gravity and tumble over. He handballs the ball after falling (diving). The ref doesn't award a penalty - which is contentious because they've been given for that sort of thing in the past - but equally so, you could argue he went to ground with relative ease. Would have been soft if it was awarded. Probably because Nani tried far too hard to con the ref when it wasn't necessary.

2) No matter if you think it was a pen, a dive or just a nothing incident - there was no indication from the ref or the lino at this juncture that the hand ball had been acknowledged by either of them. Was not a penalty for certain as far as the ref was concerned. And I don't remember that much of a protest from the United players who got on with the game.

3) Now this is where it gets a bit messy. The only certainty at this point is that Nani had blatantly and unequivocally handled the ball. So much so that the Spurs players - and especially Gomes - do not, for a single second, think that it is anything other than a stone cold free-kick. So much so, they take it for granted.

In fact, note the assistant referee at this stage of the incident. He doesn't raise his flag because he assumes Clattenburg - who witnessed the fall (dive) in the box and the handball - is taking control because of the obviousness. What I mean by control is - unquestionably making it clear it was a free kick. Except the ref doesn't make anything clear.

4) So, this far, we have a blatant handball, Clattenburg (as far as I could tell) was in clear sight. But either he didn't see it or did see, but either way - as the official - doesn't make it clear to anyone other than the voice in his head. The assistant ref (the lino), sees it but makes a mistake. He doesn't raise his flag and wave it about. Had he done so, Clattenburg would have been forced into using his arm and hands and voice to clearly state free-kick/play on/whatever - although a free kick would probably have been given due to the raising of the lino's flag. And everyone's mistake it to accept the obvious, i.e. a free-kick from a dead ball.

4) Gomes, dear innocent Gomes, places the ball down (having looked at Nani and shook his head at the player and then looked at the lino for confirmation which might have been given with a stare or again a telepathic assumption, which is hardly the basis you should accept). Again, another massive assumption in the belief that everybody on the pitch understand that Nani handled the ball.

And I'm certain everyone on the pitch did. Including Fletcher (I think it was) who shouted at Nani to drop back to defend. Everyone apart from Nani, who knew he had handled the ball and also knew the ref had not blown his whistle or made it abundantly clear what was meant to be going on. I think Clattenburg was running back to the half-way line at this point. Which begs the question, did he think Gomes was taking the free-kick or that the keeper was going to play advantage?

5) So Gomes places the ball down (twice) ten yards from the actual incident, then remonstrates with his players to get out of he box, and Nani looks around (did he ask permission from the ref or someone if it was okay to kick the ball?) and then kicks the ball under Gomes and in. Apologetic celebration, looking around at first, making sure it counted. Which it did. Which he accepted.

6) Everyone (in Lilywhite) goes a bit mental, Gomes running to the lino smacking his arm/hand, and the lino decides now is the best moment to be lifting his flag up and waves it for the attention of Mark. Clattenburg has already given a goal, but runs down to his assistant, listens to his assistant (who has already mouthed to Gomes 'I know' in response to 'handball') but alas...it's not disallowed.

Too much has happened. Clattenburg signals again, it's a goal. Two things here - the lino flagging when prompted by Gomes (why did he not do it when the hand ball happened so he can make sure the ref saw it so they could both be on the same page in terms of the flow of the game? Or do such incidents, where hand ball occur, always result with a free-kick, therefore, no need for communication? Well? Second thing worth mentioning; Pav flapping his arms like a chicken at the lino.

7) Also - you've got to laugh at our players being told to walk away from the lino whilst Rio is allowed to stand next to both Clattenburg and the lino and stick his oar in. Although if he talks like he tweets, there's a likelihood neither understood his complaining.

8) It's 2-0 and that's that.

9) If you look back (on my stream of the game) the goal was missed because they were showing a replay - so that makes it the linesman, the fans (me and everyone else watching it would seem), the players on both sides and the frigging television producers - all making the assumption it was a dead ball kick. Playing advantage only works when the keeper with the ball in his hands actually knows it's advantage - which the ref failed to do.

10) Therefore: No communication from Clattenburg. Nothing definitive. Other than the ref running up the pitch away from the box where the ball was. Would you run up the pitch if you (the ref) had decided that the ball was still in play? Why not remain close(r) to the action until you can work out what the keeper is going to do?

11) Can I mention the handball again? If the ref saw it, which he must of if he was playing 'advantage' - then why exactly? It's slack. Also, where was the yellow card for Nani? Or is it okay to dismiss it and just forgive and let us have advantage so no time is lost in our favour? And loop yourself back to 10 again.

12) Do you see how the ref is responsible for birthing this bastard United debauchery of balls? No matter laying blame on Gomes for not playing to the whistle, it's still comes down to a creation of a goal out of subtle yet chaotic mismanagement of an incident. I'll say it again: If you're going to not do the obvious ( award a free-kick, yellow card the player) at least signal it's advantage. If by not doing anything, its therefore advantage, then it allows for too much ambiguity.

Also - Did the ref whistle at any stage? If he did initally, then surely its a free-kick. If he didn't - then why the f*ck not?

Conclusions

Fact is Clattenburg should have either made it abundantly clear it was an advantage - regardless of 'play to the whistle'. Everyone (apart from Nani who was sulking on the ground because he didn't get a pen) run off down the pitch - it tells you they all thought it was a free-kick. Had Clattenburg awarded the free-kick. No controversy. Had Clattenburg signalled advantage, no controversy. There is remonstrating of Gomes to his players around the box that might hint at some type of confusion, I did notice that. But I think that had more to do with Gomes wanting to pass it out to one of them rather than booting it down the pitch.

I wish we lost 1-0, instead of having that second go in. Because people will talk about yet another injustice when the reality is, we didn't quite have it going on in the final third. It's almost like we can't just lose at Old Trafford, we have to lose and there has to be something ridiculous in there to mess with our minds.

Lesson for us is simply: Do not entrust in the officials, do not leave doubt and ambiguity in what plays out simply by playing to the whistle. Talk to the ref if you have to. Just don't make assumptions even though it was more than obvious it was hand ball and should have been a  free-kick.

Should, should, should.

Ref f*cked up. No question about it. It's now two for Clattenburg (you haven't forgotten about the Mendes goal have you - the one that would have blipped this woeful 68 game run of no wins away to the monopoly). Oh Howard, at least your calamities were more straightforward.

Next season, let's save ourselves a journey up there and just default the game.

Next blog article - I will not refer to any of this and just talk about the actual performance and players. Don't want all this dizziness to get in the way of what really matters. The football. And our season.


The Theatre of Tears

Continuing on from this, United truly wind me up. But equally, so do Spurs on occasions (so many occasions) when they allow self-defeatism to drag them towards the inevitable empty points haul that we leave Old Trafford with.

The last time we won there can probably be found in the depths of the Spurs Shop store room on a dusty Betamax in a damp corner. Long forgotten about other than the mouse chewing away at the tape. Until said mouse notices a far more appetising VHS.

So with no Howard Webb in the equation, what will give way and will it give way our way?

Potential scenarios (based on historical depression):

1) We start brightly, pressure United, score, United come back into it, make it 1-1, we go on the back-foot and then go 2-1 down, and then United score a third to kill us off.

2)  It's a scrappy match, both teams struggling to get a stranglehold on the midfield, United get a penalty which they score, the game continues to be scrappy, United get another goal, this one a screamer from about 30 yards out. Misery. Heads down. Still nothing since 1989.

3) United steam-roll us, we never get into the game. They turn it on. Tabloids proclaim the return of majestic form for the biggest club in the universe.

4) We score a legitimate goal which gets disallowed for no apparent reason other than incompetence. And lose 1-0 to goal from a defensive lapse.

5) We start brightly, take the lead, then take a position that suggests there is simply no way back for them and then we…choke. Textbook 'flatter to deceive' performance which sees United shove us aside nonchalantly as we fall back to our textbook position - on our arse at OT. Four or five home goals. Match of the Day removed from Sky+ series link.

6) We turn up. Boss the midfield. Play with confidence and belief. Score. Score again. Remain strong. Make clever tactical substitutions. United get a goal back. But it's too late. We win. We end our miserable away to a 'top 4 side' record. Spurs fans across the forums and blogs of the internet rejoice with suggestions that one striker in Jan will mean = title contenders. Fans in the away end French-kiss. I get a tattoo on my back of Harry eating the Champions League trophy. Man Utd fans in tears, Bale signalling to the home crowd 'I will never join Utd, you prawn loving losers', whilst Modric plants a flag in the centre-circle of a Cockerel and ball.



I've stuck £1000 on number 6. This is the best chance we've had in years of getting something up there. Sure, I'm not naive enough to believe United are suddenly worthless, far from it. They have enough players of quality on their day to beat anyone - even with their light-weight midfield and lack of Rooney circa 2009. The difference is, we've improved. Probably not massively this season in terms of stepping up a gear, but this game on Saturday, its one that can define our season for sure.

Step up Harry. Step up Bale, Modric, Huddlestone, van der Vaart, Lennon. Sandro. No matter who starts. Step up Crouch or Pav (I've sort of ruined the speech now haven't I?). Step up not just guile and tenacity - but for once, let's see some of that relentless never say die we're going to beat you any which way we can belief that them in the Red we face churn out season after season.

Get in their faces. Invade their personal space. Show no respect. Dish out to them what they routinely dish out to us. And never - not for a second - take a single moment for granted, no matter the score.

Want to play in the big boys playground? You need to kick 'em in the nuts first, show them you can handle the pace. Make their eyes water.

To dare is to stick it up the bollix of Berbatov. COYS.

This really winds me up

There are many things in life that wind me up. Things that pull at my nerve endings till they break through my skin and then proceed to strum a tune with them. The type of ear-bleeding, head-pounding, gritted-teeth…oh please just do one type of wind up.

For example, I cannot stand the London Underground. I use it so therefore tolerate and thus deal with it because I have no other choice. I generally find it to be the toilet basin of travel with everyone taking an anti-social dump of frustration in it. And never flushing.

What grates me is the complete lack of social decorum and lack of common courtesy. Perhaps it's an English problem. We find it easier to be rude, obnoxious and generally shy away from doing a good deed because…well, someone else will do it for you, won't they? Best illustrated by people who suddenly fall asleep or bury their heads in their newspapers when a pregnant lady walks on clutching her bump, never looking directly at someone, waiting for that rare moment of chivalry.

What is tenfold worse than people who show a blatant disregard are the ilk of people who are oblivious. Honestly, hand on heart, if I was ever to go postal, then I'd do so on the Central Line. Nothing worse than numptys who have absolutely know sense if their surroundings and just sleep-walk around waiting for the Tube fairies to guide them to their destination.

How hard can it be?

You walk down the stairs, you turn either left or right to walk onto one of the two platforms depending on whether you are going east or west. When you make your decision and walk towards the arched entrance…why, why stop dead directly under it facing the platform? Why stand there looking confused? What in the f*ck is there to think about? Surely basic instinctive awareness would tell you three things:

1) You can turn left or right into the platform you are facing
2) If you make the wrong turning, you can - believe it or not - turn yourself around by the art of movement - face the opposite direction and walk towards it
3) There are people behind you, people you are blocking

Just f*cking move you imbecilic douche bags. It's not exactly a decision masked in mystery is it? You don't need Sherlock Holmes to hold your frigging hand.

Step the f*ck forwards.

They should introduce a law allowing legalised 'punches to back and neck' when someone just stops for no other reason other than stupidity and block your path. I'd also apply the same law to people who gleefully stroll down the platform when it's nigh packed, as if they're walking the dog in Hyde Park without a care in the world.

It's not just tourists, and I'm not a complete uncaring a*sehole, I get it…people get lost or confused. But get this. Stepping onto said platform from under the arched entrance…it doesn't mean you can't ever return from it. You're not going to be sucked into Narnia if you just keep on placing one feet in front of the other in that movement we like to call walking.

It's a train station. People are looking to get from a to b, and usually after 4:30, most are looking at getting home in the quickest way possible. Yes I know, it's all rush rush rush, everyone's in a hurry, but if everyone - every single person - was in a hurry, then we'd all be getting from a to b at the same pace meaning nobody would get angry and upset. i.e. me. Actually, to be fair, it's not that I'm in a hurry. I'm just focused to the task in hand. I'm respectful of the people around me, even if they don't deserve it.

The all-time classic was when I stood at the edge of a platform as a train pulled in. Doors opened - I was in a position that meant I could walk into the carriage first, but I allowed two people off the train (I know, heart of gold) and the bloke behind me was getting agitated and trying to force his way though. Which I did not allow. When he got on after me, he stood nearby swearing to himself, talking to himself - and quite obviously repeating the C word over and over again for my benefit. He was genuinely upset at my behaviour. I mean come on, get a grip.

And why was said tool upset? Because he had to wait 5 extra seconds to get onto the carriage? Because the people ON the train had right of passage before us and I respected this unwritten but obvious code of conduct?

I told him to shut the f*ck up which resulted with another gentlemen standing between the two of us before what would have been the most ridiculous reason to fight (ever) kicked-off.

"Yeah, yeah, I got into a fight the other day"
"Who with? Headhunters? ICF?"
"Nah mate. Bloke in a suit on a train. I kept him waiting cause I was proper hardcore, letting people off the train before I stepped on it"

Christ, my palms have gone all sweaty, ranting and typing. I want to punch people in the face now. I've lost my train of thought (still have the power of the pun). Okay, so what was the point I was trying to make with all this tube rage anecdotes?

Oh yeah, that's right, things in life that wind me up. This has turned into the longest link ever.

Things that wind me up? More so than slow walkers and dizzy motherf**ers on the Central Line?

Always, always losing to Manchester United. Even when we're winning we manage to allow the forces of fate to place a pillow over our face and we surrender and do not put up a fight as the air we breath is suffocated out of us.

For once, can we please just push the unequivocally annoying bastards in red out of the sodding way?

Punch 'em in the neck.

COYS.

Interview with a Manc

mancunia chats rooney glazers and spurs - part 1
manchester utd yoof spurs targets and the project - part 2

Spooky on...

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Manchester Utd yoof, Spurs targets and The Project (Part II)

For Part I click here.

Part II

Spooky - Okay, enough of the boring off the field shenanigans and boardroom politics. Let's talk a bit of football. Does it get boring winning everything, you silverware-hugging show-off you?

Scott - Honestly? No. You hear our players talking about it and I think it reflects the fans' opinion too. The more you win, the more you want to win. You get greedy for it. You win the league title, and whether that's the first time for a few years or the third time in a row, it feels f***ing brilliant. I can't claim that the last time we won the league in 2009 made me feel the same way a City fan would feel if they won the league this year, because I imagine being used to winning things takes the edge of it a bit, but no, never boring.

Spooky - What's the gut feeling for this season then? Plenty of suggestions in the world of blogs and forums that United are over-extending themselves, masking over the cracks with one or two bacon-saving individual performances. It would be unwise to write you off considering that if currently United are considered off-key, you're still top 4 early season. Are you perhaps worried that there's not enough genuine balls deep world class quality in your side to really push Chelsea? Do you accept that you wont win the title?

Scott - I think we're going to win the league every year. We're not looking great right now but we haven't really got going yet. Nani and Berbatov have definitely stepped up to the plate, but players like Fletch and Evra who have been so important in years gone by, have gone off the boil. United tend to do well after a World Cup but it's looking to have a negative effect this time around. If we don't win the league, it's because Chelsea do, but I can't see Arsenal or City finishing ahead of us.

Spooky - So, in that case, you don't face a battle on your hands to finish in the top 4?

Scott - No.

Spooky - Do United fans prefer having to fight tooth and nail for the League with Chelsea or whomever, or do you prefer the 90s when you won everything at a canter, more or less?

Scott - Oh it's far more exciting having to fight for it. Winning the league by a point on the last day feels so much better than wrapping it up a few weeks before the end of the season. I wouldn't say we won things at a canter in the 90s though. You look at 99 and 96, with our squad spread across winning other trophies, and we just scraped through at the end.

Spooky - What do you think the fans reactions would be if you finished just outside the Top 4 and SAF was another year nearer retirement?

Scott - Devastation, I suppose. How would the fans react if we got relegated? How would the fans react if we won nothing for 10 years? I dunno. It's too hard to answer a question about a scenario you just can't imagine happening.

Spooky - Talking of which - who do the fans feel is likely to take over as Manager after SAF's retirement?

Scott - Erm, Mourinho is desperate for the job. I would rather Laurent Blanc or Pep Guardiola, and have battled long and hard against Mourinho getting the job, based on his dreadful personality and the job he did at Chelsea. He spent a f**k load of money but the team he left them with was inferior to the one he inherited. It's hard to argue with what he's achieved at Inter and is achieving at Real Madrid, playing the attacking football we require.

Spooky - Concerned about City? If not this season, next?

Scott - No. If anyone will f**k this up, City will. This is the 3rd year of The Project (TM) and they're not nailed on for anything. They've got less points this season than they did with the same games played under Hughes a couple of months before he got the sack, their best player is repeatedly talking of his unhappiness and wanting to retire, and as every transfer window passes they seem to make it their challenge to bring in a player with an even bigger ego than the ones the window before, to try and battle it out with Mancini's massive ego. They will implode sooner or later because all these stars who joined with the promise of lots of money and trophies will soon get bored of lots of money and no trophies. I think Robinho put it best at the start of this season: "When I arrived, the directors at City told me that, in a couple of years, we would overtake United, but the time has passed and nothing has changed."

Spooky - United have harvested a lot of young talent from around the world, sometimes at eyebrow raising expense (Bebe, Mame Diouf, Obertan, Tosic, Smalling). Are Utd fans concerned that very few of these appear to be worth the money paid? I know it's subjective, but it's a question birthed from the curiosity of other fans assuming United fans are scratching their heads.

Scott - All of those players are 21 or younger, so I don't know how you can say whether they're worth the money or not. Diouf has scored a hat trick at Blackburn this season, as well as scoring against Arsenal, Bebe has scored for Portugal's U-21, Smalling is doing well for England U-21 and has scored for them, Obertan is a fans' favourite. Tosic is the only one of those that didn't make the grade but we got our money back for him, so no biggie.

If we start writing players off when they're 21, we're in trouble. Ronaldo scored 9 league goals in 33 games for us when he was 21. He was a one trick pony, a waste of money at £12m.

Spooky - On a similar note, who is the best of the home-grown Utd talent (i.e. Cleverley, King, Drinkwater, James etc etc)? Have United still got a stranglehold on the best of the country's youth?

Scott - Cleverley looks to be the business. Ravel Morrison is the next one for the future. Corry Evans (Jonny's bro) looks good, Will Keane too, and James Chester. Our youth set up is really impressive and Solskjaer helped the Reserves to be crowned champions of England last season.

Spooky - Are you worried that you have VDS, Rio, Scholes, Giggs, Neville, Berbatov, Owen, Hargreaves etc to replace in the next 2-3 years but have (i) no cash and (ii) a lot fewer decent young players making it into the first team squad than historically?

Scott - Neville, Hargreaves and Owen hardly play, so that's not such a worry. The idea is that Cleverley can fill Scholes' boots (nobody can fill Scholes' boots, he's the best midfielder the Prem has seen, but he'll give it a good crack), Chicharito, Macheda and hopefully Welbeck are options for up front, Bebe/Obertan to fill the gap on the wing. The only position that hasn't already got plans is the goalkeeper, which I imagine the club will take very seriously after the farce we endured once Schmeichel retired. There will be some money to spend though, if the players who have been earmarked for these positions aren't up to scratch.

Spooky - Berbatov and Rooney should be the strike partnership to end all strike partnerships. Why isn't it?
 

The casual guide to feeding squirrels by Dimitar Berbatov

Scott - Who knows? The manager can't get the best out of them and they never seem to hit form at the same time. Berbatov and Chicharito is a far more potent combination.

Spooky - Will you stop attempting to tap up and steal our players now you are so poor?

Scott - We should really take a leaf out of Spurs' book. Levy and Redknapp never attempt to tap up and steal players.

Spooky - Steady now. Our Daniel writes letters of an apologetic nature to the fans. He can't possibly be underhanded. What with all the donations to the Tottenham foundation. I might as well ask this so we can all prep ourselves for the inevitable knocking of the door...What do United fans think of the current Spurs squad? Which of our Lilywhites would you want at United and why? How many Utd players do you think would get into a combined Utd/Spurs side?

Scott - I remember towards the end of last season and we were still in the race, and Spurs came to Old Trafford. As the players and subs were read out over the speaker, it really hit me how many top class players you have. Probably the best squad to come to Old Trafford last season, no exaggeration. I mean, you didn't play well, but there's loads of great players at Spurs.

I like Dawson, Modric, Van der Vaart, Bale and Palacios but working out a best XI is difficult. Bale and Nani on the wings, and Modric and Van der Vaart in the centre of the park alongside Fletch (he isn't playing well this season though :S) or Palacios. Berbatov as a lone striker? I'd have Van der Sar over Gomes (WBA mistake aside), Rio and Vida over Dawson and King (even when they're not on the treatment table), Evra at left back and right back? Well, we've played O'Shea there more often than not this season, so I'd have Hutton over him. I like Rafael though.

Spooky - Bale, Modric, vdV…all linked already. Honestly, hand on heart. Can you see yet another one of those Levy complaint letters doing the rounds on the official site next summer?

Scott - It wouldn't surprise me if Bale and Modric came to United. I can't see Spurs doing well in Europe AND retaining top 4. Something has to give. Fergie is a fan of both and I imagine both would be interested in coming. But maybe Levy won't be so f***ing retarded as to send them on a plane to Manchester though.

Spooky - You're breaking my heart over here. And finally, we might as well mention Utd v Spurs. History tells us United will win. Regardless of Howard Webb or lack of goal line technology. We tend to implode up at Old Trafford. I'm sort of confident that we could get a point or even do the impossible and win away from home against a 'Sky Sports Top 4' side for the first time in 400 years. Thoughts on the game? You've not been amazing thus far, but neither have we. In fact, we have both dug deep to win games. So, close game? Dare you predict?

Scott - Given the strengths of your squad, this should be a game to make us worry, but like you say, you don't tend to do very well against us. You'll score against us, because everyone does, but I fancy a United win. 2-1.

Spooky - I fancy a Spurs 2-1. Ooh. It's going to be a corker. Cheers mate. I guess all that's left for me to say is - pleasure as always. And make sure you d*ck City at the very least. Ta.

Scott - Only if you make sure you do the same.

And they both lived happily ever after. Well, only one of them. To find out which, watch the game on Saturday.

The End.

Mancunia chats Rooney, Glazers and Spurs (Part I)

Once more we stand at the gates of hell staring into the devils eyes.

We have no fear.

Say it louder.

We have no fear.

Okay, look, standing there shaking like a leaf and stuttering the words isn't exactly going to work. Believe the words you speak. Live the words. And then follow it through rather than capitulate and implode.

Now onwards, Harry and soldiers of fortune. Onwards into the pits of hell itself...

Yes. It's that time of the season when we visit the Theatre of Howard Webb. We've not done badly in spurts against United in recent years. Taking the lead, bossing it, but then proceeding to fall back, bending over for them to all the deliver of their seasonal thrusts of hurt. United are not on top of their game at the moment and if we hold our nerve...Well, I guess we'll have to wait and see. Would dearly like us to finally win away to one of the traditional Top 4 sides for the first time in 60+ games. Letter to Santa posted.

So for the tradition of pre-match banter I thought I'd return the seasonal favour (no, no, not thrusts) and this time interview the Red over at the majestic Republik of Mancunia blog, rather than have him ask me the questions. It's the polite thing to do.

So warm welcome to Scott the Red losing his DML cherry. I promise to be gentle.

With thanks to the army of anti-United fans over at Glory Glory for their suggestions for questions. So enjoy. It's a good read. One or two fallacies about the Manc club we love to hate placed to bed. 

 

Spooky - First up, let's get Wayne Rooney out of the way. All a bit of a mess, no? What went down exactly? Stretford choking money out of United for his client? Ploy by Fergie and Wayne to get the Glazars to promise funds for the war chest? Surely it's not been done to maximise a potential future fee off the back of the five year contract signed? What's the feeling with how events unfolded in and amongst the United faithful?

Scott - We know football is dominated by mercenaries and I suppose United fans feel foolish for believing Rooney is any different. He'd kiss our badge, bang out about how he wanted to be like Giggsy and Scholes and spend his career with United, that he loved the club etc. And we believed him. So of course, it's disappointing to learn you've been conned.

It isn't just that he's money led though but that he was prepared to leave us for City. The deal was done but he bottled it after the reaction from the manager, the media and the fans. I think he figured out there would be a bit of fuss, some booing when he came back to Old Trafford and that would be that. I don't for one moment think he instigated it all, that would be former vacuum salesman Stretford, but Rooney is accountable for his own actions and shouldn't choose to associate with such a ****.

Still on the upside, it now looks we'll bring in top players, which is great. It also means we're in complete control of where Rooney goes and for how much. Before he signed the contract, we would have had to ship him off in January to whomever was prepared to pay the most, but that's not the case now.

Spooky - So, will you be accepting Wayne 'once a red always a red' Rooney back with open arms or accepting that he's royally mugged off the club and fans for a bumper pay packet always with that option to still move away?

Scott - He's completely ruined the relationship he had with the fans. There will be some who will revert to how it was the moment he starts scoring important goals, but for me personally, that's that now. I'll celebrate the goals he scores and I'll hope he does well, because he's a United player and I want the club to do well, but I'll never feel for him what I did. I suppose it's similar to the Robbie Keane situation, although Rooney hasn't gone around kissing someone else's badge saying it's a dream come true.

Spooky - And Fergie's quote about the cows?

Scott - Yeh, weird wasn't it.

Spooky -  Do you think there's any chance at all that Rooney would have agreed that Man Utd had an acceptable level of ambition and trust in Ferguson if an angry mob hadn't turned up at his house in the middle of the night threatening to kill him if he joined City?

Scott - You think Rooney agreed a five year deal with a club because 30 lads in black showed up at his gates and couldn't get in? Be serious. I don't think Rooney was fearing for his life.

Spooky - Thirty lads? I heard it was Robbo, Paul McGrath and Norman Whiteside, all loaded with booze and waving broken bottles. Or perhaps not. Regardless, it all smells a bit funny to me. Just doesn't sit right. Rooney's form hasn't been anywhere near decent for a while. Would be disturbing if he played out of his skin when he returns to first team action. So is he genuinely injured?

Scott - Rooney has been injured since March when he did his ankle against Bayern. He was rushed back for the second leg, for the away game at City, with us wanting him around for the vital games at the end of the season. Had there been no World Cup he'd have been having treatment most of the summer. But obviously there was the World Cup and he carried his injury through the summer until the start of the new season. That's what was so bizarre about Rooney's claims that he'd never been injured. We'd all seen him sitting on the bench icing his ankle at the Reebok after being subbed off after an hour the week before, so who did he think he was kidding? The fact that he's been waiting for the wh*re story to come out and a deal with City to be finalised probably hasn't helped his state of mind though.

Spooky - Ah City. What is it with City fans and their obsessions with getting tattoos of players they've not (and don't) sign?

Scott - They're giddy. They've been waiting their whole lives to compete with United (think about it, a City fan would have to be at least 40-years-old to even have vague memories of his team winning something) and so desperately cling on to anything that seems like glory or success.

Spooky - Talking of the enemy, what about those pesky Glazers? It's good spin for them, no? Responding, supposedly to Fergie and Rooney's 'demands'? Perhaps a spin worthy of an ounce of respect from the dark depths of your soul?

Scott - Ha! The Glazers could come up with a cure for cancer, United fans still wouldn't have any time for them. You know, Forbes magazine this year said we're the most valuable sports franchise in the world... more so than the New York Yankees, Real Madrid, all that, so should we not be holding on to players like Rooney? Contrary to what the papers quote as his salary, which includes image rights and bonuses, Rooney has signed for £160k a week. Obviously that's an insane amount of money for normal people, but when you compare it to what Tevez, Ronaldo, Ibrahimovic, Adebayor earn, it's not great. When it comes to signing players and paying players, money should be no object to a club like ours, but it obviously is. The fact that the Glazers have managed to keep Rooney (I assume our season ticket prices won't be frozen for next season!) is standard, not something they should be praised for.

Spooky - On the subject of Yanks, considering the success Liverpool have had ousting their bogus owners don't you think as fans you have been a failure in ousting the Glazers? If that's been the attempt. Some would argue - the problem at OT - is practically the same as the one at Liverpool but at a far slower and less chaotic pace. Is it because there are too many glory hunters that are not hardcore enough that don't understand the situation? Many whinge bitterly about the Glazers, yet continue to hand money over to them every week by going to games - thus giving them their main source of revenue to pay the interest on the debt they've attached to the club.

Scott - Liverpool cost £300m. United cost £1b. Our problem is finding someone to pay that amount of money for us. If it was just a case of finding someone prepared to pay £300m, this would have been resolved years ago.

I renewed my season ticket this season and for the first time really considered not doing so. I had read stuff from MUST saying that since 2005, something like 50,000 people had given up their season tickets, and they'll be thousands more on top of that who didn't have season tickets but have stopped by match day tickets. But Old Trafford has 75,000 every home game, despite the fact that many people or more have boycotted the ground. Whilst I still believe that my seat will be filled by someone else, who doesn't sing, who views the ticket as a nice day out, I won't give up my seat. That's selfish on my part and it doesn't sit right with me, but if you give up your seat to get rid of the Glazers, and you do get rid of the Glazers, you don't get your seat back.

Spooky - How 'realistic' was the Red Knight's alleged bid?

Scott - Well, the Red Knights could be viewed in a similar way to NESV. A group of people who couldn't individually afford the club, but collectively could. You have to be wary that you're not just jumping out of the frying pan and in to the fire, but anyone who claims to have the fans best interest at heart is surely better than owners who refer to the fans as 'customers'. MUST gave their backing and the RK ship hasn't sailed just yet, but who knows what will happen.

Spooky - So are the yellow and green brigade fighting a losing battle?

Scott - The g&g was about raising awareness and putting on pressure. We went 5 years with limited media coverage and with the Glazers not feeling the heat at all. But a few months in to the campaign you have David Beckham joining in and the Red Knights talking about buying is, two things that never happened before. Maybe g&g is over now, I dunno, I still wear my scarf, but it has served a purpose.

Spooky - I guess wearing Norwich City scarfs is highly unlikely to scare off the Glazers. Perhaps pigs heads thrown onto the pitch will be far more effective? Or if possible a scooter?

Scott - It was never about scaring them. It was about getting worldwide recognition of our plight in hope of putting pressure on the Glazers to leave. We're not there yet. We could have saved the pig's head for Wastelands if Rooney had gone.

Spooky - Betty's hot-pots? Would be easy to smuggle into the ground and you could get a fair distance when throwing them? Err…anyways, moving on but remaining on the subject of the Glazers and scarfs, I've always scoffed at the irony of wearing the green & gold scarf then draping it around an AIG logo. It's akin to Spurs fans during the dark days throwing their season tickets onto the pitch in disgust…on the final day of the season.

Scott - Yeh and traipsing in to the Megastore to buy their United bedspread and lampshade and whatever else.

Spooky - You mentioned season ticket renewal. I'm assuming then that the 100k season ticket waiting list is a fallacy. People have alleged that getting tickets is relatively easy although the impression off the back of what some would call propaganda in terms of how hard it's perpetuated to get tickets.

Scott - Well, we know there is no waiting list now because they put the season tickets on general sale this year. If someone had told me ten years ago a United season ticket would go on general sale, I'd think we must have gone down to the Conference! But that waiting list has been whittled away year on year. We've got 52,000 season ticket holders now and over 50,000 people who have already given up their season ticket.

Continued in Part II

A day in the life of Adel Taarabt

Adel, is enjoying a cup of coffee in his kitchen. When suddenly, chaos! The very fabric of space and time is ripped open, resulting with a small and rather polite worm hole appearing before his eyes.

'Hello Adel', the worm hole greeted the ex-Moroccan international with a smile.

Adel: "What in the f**k is this sh*t? I already have an agent. Get out of my home"
Worm hole: "I'm here to offer you what you deserve"
Adel: "Adel is not interested in anything a hypothetical topological feature of space-time has to say"
Worm hole: "Oh, sorry, I thought you were…Is Adel home?"
Adel: "Of course he is. Adel is standing in front of you, idiot"
Worm hole: "Where? Oh, I see. First person"
Adel: "You are wasting Adel's time. Leave"
Worm hole: "No, no I'm not wasting your time. You deserve so much more than this. Than QPR"
Adel: "Hold on a minute, Jose…Jose is that you?"
Worm hole: "I am not Jose. I have trancended the infinite layers of the mult-verse to visit you today. I'm here to gift you something special Adel. 1970. The World Cup final between the boys from Brazil and Italy. A spectacle befitting a player of your undoubted quality. I can take you back in time, Adel, and replace Pele with you"
Adel: "Replace?"
Worm hole: "Yes, replace. You will be Pele, but you will define the final and his legacy with your own two feet and footballing brain. Adel Taarabt in the body of Pele with the ability of Adel Taarabt. How does that sound?"
Adel: "It sounds like the same Adel in blue and white hoop colours every weekend, but in Mexico instead of West London. Okay. Why not? I was only going to spend the day looking at myself in the mirror. I can do that when I get back. Do they have mirrors back in the 70s? So then, do I jump?"
Worm hole: "Yes, jump into me. And you will be transported onto the pitch in 1970 Mexico City, in full kit"

And so Adel takes the leap of faith, after finishing his cup of coffee, and jumps into the worm hole with the minimum of fuss.

1970. The World Cup Final. Brazil v Italy. Mexico City.

Rivelino: What the…?
Gérson: I don't get it.
Jarizinho: This is ridiculous.
Carlos Alberto: I do not believe my eyes.

Commentator: Unbelievable scenes in the World Cup final. I can't quite fathom this. Pele has stripped off his yellow jersey and thrown it to the ground after screaming abuse at Mário Zagallo and proceeding to push him over. Just ten minutes into the game and Pele - who has been shocking, just shocking and abjectly woeful - has gestured abuse to his team-mates and the fans and has sensationally walked off the field of play in protest screaming 'I quit, I quit' in what can only be described as a very public melt-down. The Italians are unsure where to look. I'm unsure where to look. This is so out of character. It's embarrassing to watch.

All this madness began after Pele attempted to dribble through and around his own team-mates with the Italians looking on in amazement, and then had the ball abruptly taken off his feet by Jarizinho which resulted with Pele slapping him across the face. This is quite an incredible start to the World Cup final.

And it's a red card for Pele. The ref has seen enough!

Oh dear God, he's now urinating on the dug-out in retaliation to the card. Extraordinary!

Later that day, back in 2010...

Worm hole: "That went well"
Adel: "Please. No more Sunday League football, okay?"

Lucky escape

There was an article the other day about Harry's opinions on young footballers which wasn't too dissimilar to one published several months back (probably was a repeat). The jist of it being how easy young footballers have it, and how egotistic some of them become in terms of making assumptions they've 'arrived'.

Was Harry talking about John Bostock? Perhaps. Perhaps not. Might have just been a generalisation  but it's interesting that he cited agents calling up Levy demanding to know why their clients were not playing first team football.

You know the drill. If you're half decent, you can bag yourself a contract for 3k - 10k per week as a mere teen or twenty-year old and five years of that might possibly turn you into self-absorbed git who can't be arsed to train properly or show determination to succeed and basically think easy street equates to automatic selection. Not that I'm suggesting Bostock is the person Harry referred to in the interview.

And this article is nothing to do with John - who I'm really hoping comes good for us.

This article is about a certain Adel Taarabt. You remember him right? He's the one with fancy tricks and step-overs and dribbles that had the giddy part of your soul fooled. Yes, there are plenty of us that made the embarrassing error of thinking this kid had the right qualities to make it. Until slowly slowly we worked out he might have had the mad skillz but not the temperament or patience or the humility to be respectful.

"He's raw, he needs to play more, he's got the talent, yadda yadda yadda"

Sadly he's turned out to be nothing more than superfluous. As someone (Enter the Pitbull)
over at Glory Glory put it, Adel is the African Lee Trundle. His level, it seems, the Championship.

He's in the news for quitting International football (Morocco - he didn't consider himself good enough or want to prove himself good enough for France) because they disrespected him. Now I know that quotes can be lost in translation and taken out of context but it's highly laughable regardless. He now gets to concentrate on QPR, because he spent 22 hours on planes travelling and wasn't selected to play. Because you know, he's got to continue to raise that profile for his move to Madrid in the summer.

What an absolute melter.

Quality.

I'd watch a sitcom with Adel in it. He'd turn up at Zidanes home and give him his marching orders declaring squatters rights.

Chewbacca for Spurs in £23M deal?

Huddlestone collects the ball deep...oh that's a lovely cross field ball to the feet of Lennon, Hoodlesque from the big man…Lennon twists and turns out on the flank, cuts in, cuts back, plays it across to van der Vaart, van der Vaart dummy - the ball through his legs - collected by Modric who lays it first time to Bale. Bale...still Bale, past one man, past two, past three, crosses and ...Chewbacca with the run....CHEW-BAAAACAAAA !!

4-0. Beauty and best football by the home side.

Brilliant movement from Spurs, brilliant finish from Chewbacca who smashed the ball home with brutal ferocity after some quite majestic play from his Lilywhite team-mates. That's his second of the game, and this Tottenham side are positively inspired. Clinical and relentless.

And that's the whistle. Rampant display.. And it's only half-time. Park Lane are in full swing, chanting the name of their new hero...Chewie, Chewie, Chewie...Stewards are selling half-time dvd specials to the home crowd. Hedonistic scenes in N17...

I'm privileged to be commentating on this game, and although you can't see me, let me tell you, the big gold cockerel up on the East Stand is not the only thing to be standing proud and erect this Saturday afternoon.



The above is fantasy.

I mean seriously, four-nil up after 45 minutes? That and signing and starting Chewbacca might prove somewhat tricky, what with him apparently killed off in the serialised Star Wars novels. That and the fact he was birthed from the imagination of George Lucas and is thus a fictional character. Damn you, technicalities, damn you to hell.

But you just know that if we had him up front, rampaging and destroying opposition defences with his mere giant presence in both stature and personality, the rest of the team would need to find a new level of performance just to appease his big hairy feet. Because to not, would be beyond the realms of disrespect. Angry Wookie = trouble. If you thought Berbatov could sulk…

Chewie would no doubt need about a dozen storm-troopers marking him, and he'd be the one forcing them to run away in fear. In the unlikely event of us someone how signing Bellamy and covering him head to toe in super-glued grizzle bear fur, we're going to have to look at other options. And Craig is a touch short for the job in terms of height. Sorry Craig.

There's the possibility of out-sourcing. Comolli to scout the Dagobah system, perhaps? No Wookiee's to be found there, but I'm sure Damien would unveil Yoda as one for the future with the ability to elevate the team. Cue various dodgy grainy taken photos via mobile phones of Comolli, Yoda and agent sitting in a Burger King at the airport in plain sight agreeing terms.

Alas, back in the real world we have Jar Jar Binks leading from the front. So when exactly will the Tottenham strike back? Ah yes, an article full of lame Star Wars references weaker than a venomous Crouch shot.

Chewbacca signing for Spurs in a £23M deal? It aint happening. Some amongst you it wouldn't resolve our problems due to Chewie being slightly susceptible of a wandering mind and placing way too much emphasis on his heart than his mind. And much like that Bulgarian, God damn, can he be depressive. Russians are hard enough to manage, and the language barrier is going to be a nightmare. Then again, if players can just about make out what Robbie Keane bangs on about then perhaps I'm being a tad too harsh.

Having checked, Boba Fett and Darth Sidious are both unavailable and don't fancy the 50% tax with moves to England.

I've already touched on the necessity for a world class forward with an abundance of swagger in the previous blogs, and it's an echo of what we're all saying and hoping for. With van der Vaart arguably world class in terms of mental strength, technique and impact - if we had someone of similar ilk up front...and here we go again...it's ground-hog day. Close your eyes and imagine, and it will make you drool. Until January, if something does give way in terms of filling the gap, we still have to make do with what we have until the window re-opens.

So, what do we have exactly?

We know what Rafael gives us in terms of application and guile. We need him to give it to us away from home too. Luka is still on this perpetual road of mend to recapture the form we know he is capable of. Crafting and creating, starting the move from deep and playing killer balls in and around the box. When he does hit form, and he will soon, this will be huge for the team. Don't underestimate the difference between a 65% Luka and a 95% Luka. 100% Luka…and I'll be needing the smelling salts.

Bale has been granted a holiday, which is a cracking idea. Burn out, not an option - and with Manchester United away up next, we need him to be at his very best if Levy is going to rinse Fergie for £70M (Gareth's valuation goes up with each DML article that references him). Seriously though, Bale to United? You can't possibly believe the never-ending looping news articles covering this? Can you? Can you?

I find your lack of faith disturbing.

Lennon is continuing his rehabilitation, but his angry eyebrows would suggest he would much prefer Charlie behind him than Alan.

Crouch sort of doesn't but does assist vdV almost in an apologetic manner of just being there in the box. Basically, if he doesn't give away a free kick for simply breathing in the box, the ball might hit him or one of the defenders climbing up his legs and fall into the path of vdV. The Everton game, a perfect example. vdV expertly smashing the ball into the net from the magnetic ball to feet sent his way with the aid of the magical aura of Peter.

Any old excuse to re-post this.

One thing is for certain. It's not ideal having Crouchie up front in a 451. I'll admit it. Even if vdV has notched up five goals thus far. It's not Crouchie getting the goals. Whether it's hoof up to the lanky forward or to feet, it's not a tactic that is allowing for swash-buckle and that missing ingredient of intensity.

For the sake of hypothetical's, stick a Drogba, a Bellamy (hate to keep referring back to this git) or Chewbacca himself - and you just know that this would produce something extra. Something tangible in the way of a target. Because these ilk of players have plenty of ammunition and facets to their personality on the field. Drogba is a complete forward. Bellamy has tenacity and relentless annoyance (ironically, not a personal option due to his brittle bones, he's always injured, or at least it seems like he's always picking up knocks). And Chewbacca, cool and calm when required, but when required he simply doesn't give a sh*t and will f*ck you up.

Find the player, no matter the system, who can do the job. And the conundrum is surely solved. It is, isn't it?

Pause for thought.

And we're back again to the start. Ground-hog day.

Like I said, until Jan...we wait and in the mean time we hope we can find a rhythm and plenty of goals. It might come in the way of Defoe and his comeback. With his trademark power shots at goal. With vdV playing just off him. JD is more Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs than C-3PO waddle, so it's going to be interesting to see how it pans out.

As a footnote to all this (off the back of the Everton game), I should give a special mention to Sandro who really does look the part. Tidy player, knows his way around the pitch, effective and once he hits his stride, he's going to be very good for us. In time. He does appear to have the composure (in his head) to be a success for us and the Prem. Might not be flair, but has substance.

As for our former defensive man of unbreakable bricks, Wilson?

Palacios is a bit like the Death Star in Return of the Jedi. It's there patiently waiting with the power to destroy, but not quite turned on. Is it operational or isn't it? Is it a trap? An attempted trap? Or just a really bad attempt at controlling the ball? And time. Its a ticking. And if we don't get a move on, it could go belly-up as quickly as you can say 'fire a laser at that unguarded thing over there to blow it up, seriously, it's that frigging easy'.

We want our Wilson back. In fact, we want our Tottenham back. More of that Star Destroyer swagger than slow-brooding AT-AT.

And finally, having dragged the Star Wars franchise through the mud kicking and screaming (hey, it's just like being George Lucas!) if Bale needs a rest in future and there's no time for a beach holiday, then I have two words for ya. Just two words. Two names in fact. A first and second name.

Niko. Kranjčar.

He's not a jedi. He's a Croat.

Thanks for your time, and may the facere be with you.

Wanted: world class striker, abundance of swagger preferable

Spurs 1 Everton 1

We can sit here and debate many things. Had this game been played on Sunday for example, would we have had that extra zing to perhaps force the ball over the line a second time? Still don't quite grasp the reasoning for the 12:45pm Saturday kick-off after Wednesday nights drama in the San Siro. And although it's easy to knee-jerk and point the finger of blame at Sky, we obviously agreed to it and I can't remember reading any Harry complaints via tabloid sound-bites in the build-up to the game. Probably got drowned out in all the Rooney hullabaloo. You might have missed it but Pompey nearly went into liquidation. Just thought I'd share. In case you didn't read about it.

As for the game being played a couple of days after Bale sealed his £20M-£50M (cross out where applicable) via his superb solo display move to Old Trafford all I can say is; oh these gentle delicate modern days where footballers need to be constantly wrapped in cotton wool. In fairness, travelling back from Milan and then preparing for the Prem is never going to be easy, but then bully us for finishing fourth. Re: Bale. He needs a bit of a rest. Make sure he's nice and fresh for his meeting with Fergie in Jan. Because you know, United are now suddenly minted after Alex and Wayne merked the Glazers.

Harry did, if I remember correctly, cite that the players looked fine in training. So no pre-match ready made excuse. All that remained was to see if it translated onto the pitch.

Guess it depends on your own personal expectancy here, what with the need to avoid a Champions League hangover. Which we've managed to do fairly well so far, give or take a result. The game itself wasn't quite hair of the dog, more of hair ball of the cat. We purred a couple of times, but the game got scratchy the deeper it crawled towards full time. And in the end we coughed up just the one point.

Two points dropped, right?

We lined up like so: Gomes, Hutton, Kaboul, Gallas, Assou-Ekotto, Lennon, Palacios, Modric, Bale, Van der Vaart, Crouch.

vdV and Modric fresh and the latter wearing the captaincy. No Huddlestone and Crouch retained his place top end. Kaboul in at the back. Wilson in the starting line-up thanks to his mum.

We can sit here and debate many things (someone once said). Sure, there was a lack of zing but arguably we had enough about us first half to suggest we could win it. But Everton defended resolutely, scored a peach of an unsaveable free-kick and were good for their point. We are dropping points (when we drop them) thanks to our lack of intensity and top drawer forward. It's not just about getting the ball to the front-man. But more about the front-man creating space and chances. It's sometimes way too much effort but little to show for it in and around the box.

The lack of intensity has been a common issue so far this season. By intensity I'm talking about the way we took City apart in the opening 45 in the first game of the season. We were on it. The fact we didn't score (be it unlucky/be it no thanks to Hart) isn't so much evidence for that lack of a top drawer forward because I think Defoe will be a blessing when he returns. But JD wasn't exactly on fire prior to his injury and since he's been out, we've had to rely on our midfield. But a top drawer forward would change the game.

Nice irony that in the past our midfield hasn't chipped in, and now we have goals coming from that area - our forward(s) are not leading the line with great vengeance and furious anger. Crouch remains much maligned. 4-5-1 also raising eyebrows, but then how else do you fit in the players we have with world-class van der Vaart? Who was fairly quiet on Saturday. But scored regardless, because that's just his thing to do at White Hart Lane. Waiting-for-him-to-turn-world-class Luka who still needs to rediscover his dinking and deep play-making touch. Palacios subbed for Sandro upsetting mum in the stands. And the ref doing his best to kill the game with a rather average (below below average) display.

We were not fluid enough in the end to break Everton down. And it's the king of understatement to state that if we had a forward who had the same irrepressible determination and class of Rafael, we'd be laughing. Laughter of Cuban cigar smoking smugness rather than the type accompanied by the tears of a clown.

Simply put (IMO - feel free to disagree):

- We still haven't got into a cohesive run of swagger
- We are however, picking up the points
- We could regret the points dropped post-Christmas if we fail to change gear soon
- With the return of Defoe (soon) and the possibility of a new (much needed) forward in Jan, this could elevate us to the next level
- Nobody, other than Chelsea (thanks to their home form), look like storming it and even they don't look Mourinhoesque, which means the rest of the chasing pack (United/Arsenal) might not break away from the second chasing pack (Us/City)

Conclusion?

We need to step it up and quickly because using the tired excuse that it's all okay because nobody is currently firing on all cylinders might find us with much regret when we stop using it with a ten point difference from the team just above us.

At some point, someone will start to fire. Let that be us.

Follow-up article scheduled for later on with more thoughts (re: player performances) from Saturday.

Is Comolli God?

Sorry, that's meant to be good. Typo in the title. Was he any good for us during his tenure at the Lane?

This discussion has been had more times than a cheap yet tasty East European whore at the local sauna. Not that all girls working in a sauna (brothel) happen to be from Eastern Europe, but if someone was to frequent such a place, I'd hazard a guess they'd select a Russian or Polish lady of the red light than any of the oh so bland alternatives. They tend to have fabulous looking legs. Allegedly. It's what I've been told. Best to move on before this turns into a punter report and goes widely off-topic.

My point is, we've discussed this thousands of times - mostly during and in the lead up to the beginning of the end of Comolli at Spurs, and then in the aftermath of his departure. And once again the last time he was interviewed and mentioned his transfer record at the Lane. And we've been blessed with yet another rendition of the 'I'm so f**king great' chorus from the Frenchman, this time thanks to the Bale hat-trick at some small ground over in Italy.

I guess every single time one of his signings performs majestically well we're going to be treated to various sound-bites from his delirious gob. He's quite obviously never going to tire telling us he's responsible for our good form and fortune. I'd suggest we put aside a plot of land to erect a statue in his name when the Northumberland redevelopment kick-starts but it's probably only right we just skip that and name the stadium after him.

So let's break this sh*t down. Does our former DoF own the exclusive rights to bang on about this to us and should we give him his due?

Much like most managers/coaches - Comolli made some very decent signings and several shabby ones. There is a clear argument to be had for and against in terms of the decent signings made and their already known talent (as opposed to perhaps plucking someone from obscurity). But still, he captured the signatures of the likes of Berbatov and Modric and of course Gareth Bale - their abilities known to many, if not all. Personally, wasn't sure of any of the three. Especially Modric who I had not really seen or heard much about at the time.

He also signed the likes of Zokora, Bent, Bentley, KPB, Taarabt, Bostock and dos Santos. Players that have either struggled, have yet to prove themselves or not turned out to be half as good as expected.

It's all subjective. Everyone knew Bent and Bentley. Comolli signed them. Zokora, I'll give him that one - but Christ, it's nothing to shout about. Taarabt had/has a massive ego. dos Santos hasn't been given a run of games in the side. Jury out. As for Bostock - we'll have to wait and see. But Bostock could have been scouted by myself or you - it's no claim to fame as he was making a decent name for himself down at Palace.

Not sure Lennon and Huddlestone can be claimed. I'm positive they were targeted before his appointment. The rest - some were squad players that worked (Rocha) some didn't (Rasiak).

Kaboul is a perfect example of Comolli at his frustrating best. Rather than sign the finished article or a proven at top level player, he signed a highly rated youngster for a substantial amount of money where it was claimed he would not be thrown into the deep end and thus be developed. Question marks over the fact we paid the amount we did for someone who wasn't deemed a first-teamer. Classic Spurs, we throw him into the deep end thanks to injuries. Ironically, the lad (having been sold and re-bought) is showing signs of football intelligence and composure. Finally. But the journey he's under-taken has been nigh shambolic.

It's not exactly razor sharp stuff, is it?

But none of this is relevant.

Okay, it is actually if you want to strip away everything about the Director of Football system and discuss the individualism of each signing based on merit of the players form at the club. But without doing so, and looking at it as a complete entity of enterprise from top to bottom - Comolli followed Levy's lead (buy young English players with sell-on value) and also bought in foreign players to improve the first team. But the transfer ethos was never really decisive enough for me.

Mainly because we signed individuals (some of which have been a success as mentioned) but because of the lack of any clear true genuine balls deep strategy in terms of types of players required - it was all very mish mashed.

Our stance had at times been a mixture of the superfluous and the potentials. Unbalanced. And it's all good and well saying 'I signed BAE - look at him now', but if you're a DoF signing players for the current appointed manager, that player is meant to work for that manager. But then I guess Comolli will argue he signed the right players, but the manager didn't use them correctly - which again would bring you back to the whole what's the point then argument surrounding the DoF system.

It's all a bit like having two people trying to use any old jigsaw pieces to complete a puzzle, even though they're using pieces from different sets without discussing it first. The DoF felt like that, most of the time.

Again - you can look back at all our managers in the modern era and possibly argue at the amount of money wasted and lack of clear direction we've had during many transfer windows.

Comolli is managing to cloud over the fact that he might have had an eye but in terms of working as a support mechanism for  the manager? Nope. Just not good enough. You can't undermine the person you are meant to be supporting (Jol). Or make fundamental mistakes (the 2006 Xmas window).

Levy admitting the mistake, in the end, after the Ramos debacle that the DoF system had to be scrapped. When Comolli got to choose a new man for our dugout, he got it completely wrong with the Juande.

In conclusion, he signed some very good players. Some of which we are enjoying massively in our colours currently. And I guess we should politely nod in his direction for this. But considering the task at hand at the time, he failed to sign players for key positions when required, sometimes signing players completely out of synch with the squad and manipulated and altered the clubs direction to appoint his own man - which proved to be an unmitigated disaster in the end.

Director of football? More of a glorified scout who interfered a little too much, sometimes got it wrong, sometimes got it right but only on a few occasions got it bang on the money.

Fact is, the likes of Bale, BAE...the team as a unit, only came together AFTER he left the club. That should take precedence over his tiresome attention seeking quotes. Even though I'm sure DC will say, that's not the point - he saw the potential and that is enough for him to continue to pull a David Pleat and tell the world of his achievements in N17.

Spurs/Everton match report, it's been drafted but need to touch it up (ooh) and will post on Monday.

Spurs v Everton, three word match preview

Smash 'em up.