Forward failure

Previous season review articles:

In our defence

Midfield majesty

Onwards now with penetrating the penalty box of pessimism where our goal shy forwards sleep.

Defoe

Patches of form is JD’s signature. He scores goals in spurts but then goes missing for a while. He lashes the ball into the back of the net, a regular trait much like his inability to beat the offside trap. He’s a player you always expect to see improved but doesn’t quite get there, although this season there was a suggestion he would surprise us. Alas, he was struck down by injury and that was that. It’s easy to forget about the big chunk of the season he was sidelined and just criticise him for his form post- return. He’s struggled to reclaim that blistering zip and had it all compounded by falling behind in the queue to start up top in Lilywhite.

I’m going to be brutally honest. I think on form and fit, JD will score goals. Even in spurts, he will hit 20 if he avoids injury. However, if Levy and Harry plug the hole we have up front in terms of balls deep world class quality to compliment the likes of vdV and Modric...then a sacrifice will have to be made. JD will be benched. He won’t be first choice and he’ll want to be and will therefore have to look elsewhere. I don’t think he’s going to change his ways. He’s not a bad player. We just need something that little bit extra special.

Seems we have players at Tottenham that are neither first choice or strong enough to lead the frontline. And that’s a weakness.

He’s scored plenty for us (you might have missed the t-shirt) so I hope he shows the desire to stay and fight, but his words recently suggest otherwise. In a confident side, with a confident Defoe...fireworks.

Crouch

Much maligned. Scored some vital goals for us at key moments. Assisted Rafa on the odd occasion too. But it’s like bringing a sex doll to bed to help you get in the mood when your partner is lying naked next to you. There’s no need for it. It’s a distraction. It’s not a necessity even though you could get some use out of it. If there was no Crouch they’d be no hoof and knock-down. It’s those key moments that allowed many to tolerate his lack of impact domestically (lack of goal return). It’s not his fault, he’s built the way he’s built and he’s had success at former clubs. But much like a team has to be setup in the right way for Darren Bent to run onto the ball off the last defender, you have to use Crouch as an outlet meaning it’s fine if he’s a backup/impact sub but not so good if he’s the one leading from the front. Dynamic he’s not.

Those vital goals, in the CL. Appreciated by all. But we need something far more robust. Someone who kicks the ball with venom and isn’t just an obvious Plan B to launch balls at.

Pavlyuchenko

Remind me, did we sign him in the aftermath of Zenit dicking us about with the Arshavin saga? We paid around £14M for a player that joined us off the back of the Russian season. He seemed to be permanently injured and forever with his translator. He wasn’t convincing and was far too apologetic in body language on the ball and off it. For the money spent he hasn’t displayed the qualities we expected from him when he arrived. There’s an argument that perhaps had he started more games he’d have found a rhythm and settled far quicker. Perhaps, but he’s far too erratic for me.

He’s obviously a classy player. Some of the goals he’s scored have been majestic, technically superb and instinctive. And yet he ghosts in and out of a game at times like a lost Sunday league player who has turned up in a professional league by accident. He’s a luxury. I think Harry knows that and I don’t believe him when he starts claiming he’s the best finisher at the club. I think the crux is that even though he might be, he’ll never be consistent enough and he’s obviously not doing enough to claim that first team start (unless Harry is still controlled by favouritism).

Pav does have the class, like I said. But it’s always too little too late. Scored some vital goals last season. Scored some great goals this season. That’s about it.

I guess, ideally, we’d replace all three players with two top drawer forwards and a young third choice striker for the future. Personally think Defoe will stay and Crouch and Pav will go. Which means we’ll sign our ‘world class’ forward and will simply need to invest in some youth to make sure we have ample cover.

At the end of this epically long day we didn’t score enough goals. Not to completely blame the front men as we lacked cohesiveness with the tinkering, but there were several games when you were left holding your head in your hands. Either we’ve had one of those days all season long or we just admit we need to up our game and make the required changes for the good of this team and its progress.

Up next:

Prem and the Cups 

The Progression of Harry Redknapp’s Tottenham (including a 'arry review)

Summertime High Jinxs

Seven games left, three points 'adrift'

Spurs 3 Stoke 2

That wasn’t too shabby, was it? Finally rediscovering a little bit of that confident Spurs swashbuckle and swagger. Refreshing. Probably go as far as saying that minus the defensive lapses of concentration, it was an assured 'dominant' first half. Sure, we didn’t steam-roll them or stamp down our authority with brutality. We let them back in a couple of times (dominant with flaws). But we did turn up, turn it on and turn them over in good olde (the proper good) Tottenham fashion. Effortless in some ways, as a unit and individually, just easing into a rhythm without those pesky complications that had previously seen us in the midst of a goal drought.

Movement, busy buzzy players and an urgency to attack. I liked it.

Okay, so the lapses were wholly unnecessary (be it two good Stoke goals – but both birthed in errors from possession we lost). But even that was still a good test of our resolve. Didn’t buckle. Probably let them have too much of the ball in the second half, but overall – exactly what was required was achieved.

Goals for. A win. Three points.

Huddlestone and Kaboul back in the side, van der Vaart playing a full ninety minutes (and working hard be it without glamour) and Peter Crouch with some redemption for his red mist in Madrid with two smart goals and a tongue in cheek **** off to the crowd, caught on camera, but alas it’s not quite a Wayne Rooney incident offering out the public.

Not the same thing is it? Although the camera has nothing to do with it, what with Wazza being charged for swearing with no mention of said camera. Perhaps Peter was too far away from the camera and wasn't directing it at the camera. Then again, as mentioned, the camera has nothing to do with the charge against Rooney. Even though Rooney had his face in it. I guess the FA don’t really grasp the concept of consistency and knee-jerk to the parasitic lust of the media and this country and its culture of hate. Even though Rooney is angry and dislikeable. If he got charged for swearing then surely every game would result in...hold up a second.

Pause.

Okay, so, I won’t get side tracked and go off on a tangent. Back on topic then...

Home support reaction to Crouchie, overwhelmingly heartfelt. I guess blog comment and message board disdain does not translate too good out in the real world. Although Corluka was forced to respond to one fan, calling him an idiot for complaining rather than being supportive of the team. Alan Hutton obviously with too much time on his hands at the minute.

Special mention to another maligned forward (do we have anything else at Spurs?) Roman Pavlyuchenko. Linked up superbly well with the midfield leading the front-line and assisting twice. His disallowed goal should have stood. Looks sharp. Hopefully he can bag one on Wednesday.

Luka was again full of silks and style. Really, no nomination for PFA player of the year? Scandalous. Perhaps it’s because of his tally of two league goals that he’s been overlooked. I don’t know. Don’t actually care too much as long as he continues to drive us in the right direction. Up. By a minimum of one spot. Excellent goal and looks even more comfortable and free to roam with big Tommy by his side. Having Hudd back for the run in might just prove to be imperative to our chances of unlocking one or two of the tougher teams we’ve got to face in our attempt for a second successive CL.

A sumptuous passer of the ball is big Tom. The manner in which he caresses it...Mmmmm. Playing a disguised pass is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You undress the space ahead of you, proceed to move hips hypnotically and then push forwards with sublime penetration releasing it as quickly as you can blink. Oh yes. Just like making love.

Bale, quiet by the standard we expect him to play at, but then when you’re doubled up on all the time it’s not going to be an over-night transition to work out how best to escape the unwanted attention. Patient, learning curve...don’t care about all the ‘he doesn’t do it in the Prem, does it’ sound-bites. He played well considering (ignoring mistake) and having players chase him means there’s always room for other players to run into open space because of it.

Regarding that mistake (that led to Jones cracking goal), Kaboul partly responsible for the initial pass to Bale. But how great is it to have the big lad back? Power at the back to go alongside cool. BAE and Corluka also played well. Dawson commanding and Gomes hardly at fault for the two conceded.

Credit to Harry? Or did he just wing it again?

Overall – happy days. Good solid performance, dealt with the pockets of pressure. Probably should have got a fourth. Didn't, but held on even with the quintessential 'final 10 minutes' of hearts in mouths.

Unfortunately we are at that stage where we do have to look at others to do us favours. Hopefully Liverpool can do just that against City.

It's fair to say, we've got a monumental task ahead of us if you dare to look at the fixture list.

Seven games left, three points adrift. Mathmatically, it's not exactly end of days just yet. So I suggest you superglue your hat on.

Mauling in Madrid

I woke up suddenly early this morning, around 3am. A little disoriented and for a brief few seconds no recollection of anything other than the dream I had just lost. Then it hit me like a truck running over a rabbit caught in its headlights. That other dream, my memory returning, also lost.  I did reach out to see if there was a white handkerchief I could use to wave despondently across my face to wipe away a tear. Instead I went back to burying my head under the pillow and asking myself...what if what if, as I lost consciousness (always with the losing) once more and fell back into what might as well have been a nightmare.

In all the match previews for our first leg visit to the Santiago Bernabéu, including mine, very few entertained the eventuality of what was witnessed on the night.

I cited we needed to stand tall, be strong. The usual pre-match battle cry dressed up with belief and desire with a dab of focus thrown in for good measure. It was always going to be about us finding out whether we could compete against a heavy weight side managed by heavy weight tactician.

Some quotes from my match preview:

“Jose knows his side won't be able to steam-roll us like the various assortments of Spanish fodder they dismantle week in week out”

That’s exactly what they did.

“We are not expected to win. We're not expected to beat them over the two games. So the pressure is on them. Leaving us to play without fear. Because to do otherwise would be regretful”

We found ourselves on the back foot before the game even kicked off with Lennon dropping out of the starting eleven due to, I’m not sure what. Illness according to Redknapp.

“I hope our defence retain unity.
I hope Bale has 'a game'.
I hope vdV galvanises his team mates on his return to his former club.
I hope Modric dictates.
I hope our players show resounding mental strength.
I hope Harry gets one over Jose”

Deliciously ironic if you’re a Madridista. The sudden change and resulting substitution that saw Jenas enter the field of play and then stupidity and lack of composure in the opening quarter of an hour was the catalyst for a nailed on defeat.

Apart from one of the goals, the rest were poorly defended. vdV sacrificed at half-time. Modric lost thanks to the constraints of seeing Crouch red-carded. Sure, we showed mental strength. Not so much in the way we knee-jerked and allowed us to be consumed by the occasion and subsequent reshaping. But the way we held it together, especially by going in at half-time at 1-0 was encouraging damage limitation.

I’m going to avoid any deep analytical break-downs regarding individual performances (some fought, others switched off, relentless pressure too much to handle) along with Harry’s tactical changes and the Peter Crouch kung-fu episodes. And not forgetting the forgotten fundamentals when failing to defend the two headed goals.

I'm going to avoid mainly because if you take a step back and remind yourself of the opposition and their quality and then admit they hardly shifted out of second gear – you’ll be grateful it was only the four goals conceded. There was no plan b. Madrid knew they would win, and picked us off patiently with all the time in the world to do just that. All things considered (36 Madrid shots on goal?) we might have escaped with a 2-0 or 3-0 which would still have had us dreaming. What with us being that way inclined.

Alas, back to harsh reality...

Ten men up against Real Madrid, away from home, having the absolute **** pressed out of us for practically the entirety of the match. These are not excuses; it’s just statement of fact. It’s horrible I know, to admit you’re being outclassed regardless of the way we surrendered any possibility of making a fight out of it. With eleven men, we might have scored an away goal. We’d have retained shape, cohesiveness. Instead we struggled to keep the ball with not a second allowed for us to catch our breath and try to salvage offensive movement rather than chasing shadows. Probably would have retained the ball, recycled possession effectively and had pockets of Lilywhite aggression. I guess, as one or two of you have already pointed out, it’s a nice to get-out clause to have.

That’s to be able to imagine that teasing ‘what if’ rather than say losing 4-0 with no caveats in sight. We worked hard because we had no other option to defend, we made mistakes, and we were duly punished for it. It’s happened to one or two teams in the past, taken to school. Lesson learnt. Then continued their progress next time round. Have to hope we won’t need to wait too long for that next time.

Let’s also respect the other perspective, the one we tend to ignore because we're so Spurscentric. As much as we’d have wanted to prolong the adventure, the other team – they had their own agenda. Fuelled by the fact they are second best to the best team in the world and finding themselves with the opportunity of meeting them in the next round what with personal redemption for all involved at Madrid and an obsession to avoid seasoned disappointment in the Champions League. It’s not always in our hands. As much as we’d like to believe it to be. Toe to toe, eleven against eleven might have been equally as painful.

Nothing to be ashamed of Spurs. But equally 'okay' for all of us to be disappointed as the return fixture is practically redundant what with the immediate (it’s been there all season tbh) urgency to reclaim a top four place with a handful of games left. Massive task for manager and players to react positively and not let the season fade away.

For the return game, do we rest our players or do we live for the moment once more? Home territory with the noise of the Lane in the stands, accompanied by a swan song of swagger out on the pitch? It would be rude not to oblige.

It’s been a majestic campaign in the only way we know how to journey through one. Ups, downs and shrugs. We were not meant to finish top of our group or knock out AC Milan. We did. And along the way created some cracking memories. There's room for one more, even if it's only a footnote.

COYS.

To Dare is to do 'em

Meelan 0 Tottenham 1

Football at the best of times is unpredictable. Expect the unexpected and such. It’s mostly unpredictable when attempting to assess how a game might pan out based on, well, based on form and selection and tactics and formation – which all stem from plenty of pre-match discussion in the build up to kick-off.

Myself and quite a few of you made a series of assumptions, much like we always do before a game. In this case, it’s AC Milan away and we’ve got a long list of missing players. I won’t talk about you here and instead concentrate for a moment on my preview of the game for a moment. Rather than attempt a zonal marking styled deep thinking analysis, I just opted for the subtle war cry based on the power of belief, emotion. You know, the fluffy stuff. With some controlled attacking football and plenty of heart and tenacity. It’s the easy way to write up a preview. Just ask and hope that the team stand strong together and give it some.

I was naive with my predicted starting eleven but then I hardly care for my foolishness. Because Harry Redknapp, that’s tactically astute Harry Redknapp, got it completely on the money, so much so that perhaps some of the non-believers will nod a gentle acknowledgement in his direction as a way of a thank you for leading the team out in the San Siro in possibly the most unexpected of circumstances in terms of performance and end result. Mature, disciplined and unequivocally focused from start to finish. What’s that? Magnificent? Go on then, and throw me a superb and a great to go with it.

Perhaps part of the misconception pre-match was spending too much time on those assumptions made about how the game would play out. A lot was made of Milan and their defensive and offensive qualities in their domestic campaign. Plenty of superlatives were made of their forwards and their experienced Champions League seasoned performers. Whilst most of us took extracted moments of indecisiveness and weakness from our league games and continued agendas against players we either dislike or don’t rate simply because of inconsistency and frustration back in the bread and butter of the Prem.

Equally so, many critics and neutrals cited our swashbuckling ‘we’re gonna score one more than you’ mantra from the group games and the additional possibility of a re-occurrence of stage fright.

So many potentials. Which is why I kept it simple before the game. Show some heart and some intent without playing over elaborate football that would leave us open to punishment.

‘Would still rather get knocked out giving it a right proper go than conceding defeat by allowing fear to consume us’

What we did instead, and kudos to Harry, is set the team up to be highly competitive in the middle – the foundation to build on for the rest of the side to retain the ball, work tirelessly off it to regain it when lost and endeavour to push into forward positions to possibly carve out an opportunity.

I’m not going to be critical at all at the lack of massive chances/shots on the Milan goal. Let’s just remember nobody gave us a chance of winning, most of us thought we’ve do good to lose 2-1. The application and delivery of the team and instructions the gaffer gave them is testament to what we can achieve when we are completely focused – no matter who is missing.

Doesn’t matter if one of the assumptions made was over-rating the Italians or even under-estimating Harry. This was no fluke 94 minutes of football. This was a set of players proving to themselves, to us, to everybody that they compete at the very top level. I’m sure if we were full strength and Milan had their best side, we’d have witnessed an absolute humdinger. Instead, we got a top class display of character and concentration, frustrating the home side to the point of petulance (go on then Gattuso, have a go if you think you’re hard enough, Jordan eats hairy cavemen for breakfast, turns his milk hairy) and half-chances and cheating.

Tottenham, going all weak at the knees from fear when bullied by Young Boys to standing tall (in one case that extra bit taller) and executing a clinical whack to the back of the head of one of the dons of the European family.

How did we achieve it?

Gomes between the sticks. No dramatics. Just acrobatics. Two brilliant saves, the first game-saving. Did nothing wrong. When this Brazilian is on this type of form you’d let him sleep with your...well, you probably wouldn’t but it’s the thought that counts.

Corluka and BAE both linking up superbly with Lennon and Pienaar down the flanks. Charlie a victim of former scum, always scum Flamini. How he wasn’t sent off for his two-footed tackle is beyond most of us. Big of him to apologise post-game. Wondering how many flowers he would have had to bring to the hospital bed of Corluka if he had broken his leg. Hoping it’s not too serious, he’s (Charlie) a class act and he’s about 1000 times more reliable at the back than Hutton.

Benny was also a class act, as he’s been all season long. Doesn’t care about football, hey? Wish players cared as little as he did. 21 mis-placed passes apparently. Best drop him to the bench then.

Dawson and Gallas were also bang on it. It’s strange how leading up to this game Daws seemed out of sorts, erratic. Both were solid and without error, always in the right place to tidy-up. The whole backline suffocated the Zlatan Zeppelin, burning the big balloon of hot air to the ground. Hardly any time for Ibra, Robinho and the harassed (mostly by Wilson) Seedorf to play clever intricate balls. And even though Pato introduced an improved dimension to Milan’s play in the second half, it still wasn’t enough to generate any ilk of nerves and knee-jerks.

Sandro. Palacios. Our two defensive midfielders in the middle tirelessly biting at ankles. Wilson perhaps over enthusiastic at times and still occasionally too slow to move the ball on when in possession – but enough negatives. His first half performance was part of the catalyst that saw us nullify any threat. Milan’s midfield had no time to think or create and simply failed to take a stranglehold allowing us to dictate our own comfort. Talk about taking responsibility. Well done.

The selection of Sandro was a master-stroke. Pre-match (assumptions) you wondered if it was fair, the baptism of fire. Some doubt lingered, to do with playing him alongside Wilson. It worked perfectly. He’s always struck me as a player that remains unfazed and mentally strong. Just off the Prem pace at times as he finds his feet in England, but in this clash – top drawer. Showed glimpses of the future. Positioning and movement, quick on his feet when using his brain and his tackle (ooh). Just ace. He's going to be a beast. But the type of beast that never looks he's going to break sweat beasting it. Well done Spurs scouts...you do exist afterall.

Outlet of Lennon on the wing and Pienaar on the opposite flank chasing down balls as well as aiding when moving it forward. Azza (with no Bale) was always going to be key to crafting out a chance - what with us set-up with just the two dimensions (Lennon, on the flank, Crouch up top with his head). Got into some great positions, not always the best cross and sometimes not used and found when perhaps his team mates should have looked towards him to pass. But how simple and cool and calm was the only pass that mattered, off the feet of Aaron to the feet of Crouch?

Pienaar, pre-match, spoke about European football being just like a game of chess, and once more, some of us scoffed that this would mean Harry would perhaps look to sit back, defend, soak it up and counter. Not quite sit back and defend with complete lack of ambition, but counter we did – and it was worthy of bishop taking queen, chess board knocked to ground with the opposing player trying to head butt the victor.

van der Vaart, intelligent on the ball, off it, led by example. This guy cost £8M for the love of God, we should write up a cheque to Madrid for an extra £25M because the guilt must be killing us. Cracking effort with the chip, just sublime, just not quite perfect for what would have been the ultimate. What was so brilliant about his role, his responsibility out there, was his link-up play was practically seamless when he left the field of play to be replaced by Modric.

Both players, obviously not 100%, yet both imperious to making it tick, what with the overwhelming physicality of our DM’s allowing pockets of freedom to roam. Luka, armed with remote control (the ball has an electronic chip in it) hardly ever losing possession, dinking here there and everywhere – always looking for a touch and a pass, always making sure we didn’t stagnate and remain motionless. Earlier in the game, especially the first half, I kept thinking had he started I would not have been anywhere near being nervous. The game was so made for him to dictate. It was just good to have him back and no surprise he was involved in the goal.

Sandro interception, Modric releasing Lennon, Lennon running full pelt, finding Crouch, superb finish. 0-1. Bask in a classic counter-attack. What I thought we couldn't do, we did. Soak it up, hit 'em on the break.

And what of Mr Majorly Maligned? Did not expect him to be fit (I guess that was the closet thing to kidology we got pre-match), possibly wasn’t completely in prime condition (sorry if I missed it but I’m guessing he took injections to play?) showed us that on the right stage and most definitely in Europe’s elite competition, he is imperative to how we line-up. It just works. Doesn’t matter how or why, it just does. Diagonal balls to his head (not that he got many of them thanks to the panic marking), the flick-ons, the chest downs and holding up of the ball, his touch and his composure when handed the golden opportunity for that all important away goal. Yet another player who did not stop working till the final whistle. Also did well to keep the dog on its leash. Plenty of bark, no bite. And no problem for Peter to laugh off.

They all worked their socks off. What topped it all off was Woodgate coming on (still having to rewind and re-watch...it’s him, it’s not CGI, I’m certain of it). Niko also impressive when taking to the field.

All of it, the way the script unravelled itself, just perfectly. Selection, temperament, tempo and belief. Confidence simply oozed.

Sure, we had one or two heart in mouth moments, great call at the death from the assistants who disallowed the Ibra bicycle kick. Would have been tragic to draw, even though that would have been more than acceptable before kick-off.

The first half – one of the best 45 minutes I’ve seen in terms of how we conducted ourselves. Owning their patch and dominant in application.

The second half – Milan asked more questions, but just fumbled and stuttered as they attempted to make a statement. Spurs making paper aeroplanes out of the crumbled paper-thin attempts. And on the occasions they did manage to be concise and to the point, we (Gomes especially) countered it with a sterling comeback, faltering any chance of a sustained argument.

Meelan, not having Pirlo in there was very much detrimental to how we all expected them to perform. I guess, perhaps in some way, they were disjointed (something I would have tagged us with when witnessing Sandro and Wilson starting) and they struggled to get to grips leaving us to take the initiative. Even on the back foot we remained tight and crowded out their attacks. Gattuso summed them up. Uncertain, erratic and nervous. He's also apologised for his actions. He'll miss the return. Says he and Jordan were both talking Scottish to each other on the touchline, during their fiery incidents. What's Scots Gaelic for 'you're missing with the wrong man son'?

So, in conclusion, I wanted us to have a go. And we did, but we did so with an unexpected twist. We birthed offensive play from the sheer gritty defensive qualities we displayed from start to finish. Even if it was partly one-dimensional. It was enough to come away victorious. We did not allow anything to rattle us. Even when it got a little tasty and dirty. Although I found myself laughing at Gattuso punching the ground (if that’s meant to rile up the home support perhaps we can get one of our players to run out with a spade in the home leg and dig a hole for the Milan players to hide in).

Wasn't pure Tottenham in terms of exhilarating pulsating expansive football. But it worked. And kudos again to the gaffer for it. Milan, out-smarted. Defensively, flawless. Italy's top side contained. Clean sheet – what more can you ask for? Away goal? Got that too. Every man a hero. Would dearly like to understand the psychology behind how teams can produce football performances like this. I dare us to perform like that week in week out. We won't, but then if we continue to play like this in the CL, our adventure might yet continue into the quarters.

Professional and mature Tottenham. What happened to the 4-3's then?

English clubs have a habit of getting results in the San Siro. Looks like we've gatecrashed yet another party. Outstanding performance. This team proved on their day they can compete with anyone. No fear. Belief, it transcends individuals and players to the next level. We have to win games like last night to breed that winning mentality. The further we get into this competition the better we'll be for it. Take this attitude to the Prem please.

Our evolution continues.

As for the return leg? Harry has to make sure that the players understand this is far from over, backs to wall regardless of last night. We should play out the return leg like we're a goal down. Some of that Spurs v Inter intensity. Bale should be back. Modric and vdV might start. I expect us to revert back to a more traditional controlled attacking style, marauding down both flanks with devastating pace. Refer you again to the dismantling of Inter. That’s how we should set up to play. It’s only 1-0. And even though the likes of Ibra and Robinho flatter to deceive and tend to disappoint, both are more than capable of scoring something out of nothing. Especially as many now would pencil us the favourites to get through.

We can worry about that in three weeks time.

Football, it’s about moments. So please do stick this one in your history books. Until we meet the The Rossoneri again, go get drunk on the fumes of yet another Glory Glory night.

COYS

To Dare is to do 'em.



Chewbacca for Spurs in £23M deal?

Huddlestone collects the ball deep...oh that's a lovely cross field ball to the feet of Lennon, Hoodlesque from the big man…Lennon twists and turns out on the flank, cuts in, cuts back, plays it across to van der Vaart, van der Vaart dummy - the ball through his legs - collected by Modric who lays it first time to Bale. Bale...still Bale, past one man, past two, past three, crosses and ...Chewbacca with the run....CHEW-BAAAACAAAA !!

4-0. Beauty and best football by the home side.

Brilliant movement from Spurs, brilliant finish from Chewbacca who smashed the ball home with brutal ferocity after some quite majestic play from his Lilywhite team-mates. That's his second of the game, and this Tottenham side are positively inspired. Clinical and relentless.

And that's the whistle. Rampant display.. And it's only half-time. Park Lane are in full swing, chanting the name of their new hero...Chewie, Chewie, Chewie...Stewards are selling half-time dvd specials to the home crowd. Hedonistic scenes in N17...

I'm privileged to be commentating on this game, and although you can't see me, let me tell you, the big gold cockerel up on the East Stand is not the only thing to be standing proud and erect this Saturday afternoon.



The above is fantasy.

I mean seriously, four-nil up after 45 minutes? That and signing and starting Chewbacca might prove somewhat tricky, what with him apparently killed off in the serialised Star Wars novels. That and the fact he was birthed from the imagination of George Lucas and is thus a fictional character. Damn you, technicalities, damn you to hell.

But you just know that if we had him up front, rampaging and destroying opposition defences with his mere giant presence in both stature and personality, the rest of the team would need to find a new level of performance just to appease his big hairy feet. Because to not, would be beyond the realms of disrespect. Angry Wookie = trouble. If you thought Berbatov could sulk…

Chewie would no doubt need about a dozen storm-troopers marking him, and he'd be the one forcing them to run away in fear. In the unlikely event of us someone how signing Bellamy and covering him head to toe in super-glued grizzle bear fur, we're going to have to look at other options. And Craig is a touch short for the job in terms of height. Sorry Craig.

There's the possibility of out-sourcing. Comolli to scout the Dagobah system, perhaps? No Wookiee's to be found there, but I'm sure Damien would unveil Yoda as one for the future with the ability to elevate the team. Cue various dodgy grainy taken photos via mobile phones of Comolli, Yoda and agent sitting in a Burger King at the airport in plain sight agreeing terms.

Alas, back in the real world we have Jar Jar Binks leading from the front. So when exactly will the Tottenham strike back? Ah yes, an article full of lame Star Wars references weaker than a venomous Crouch shot.

Chewbacca signing for Spurs in a £23M deal? It aint happening. Some amongst you it wouldn't resolve our problems due to Chewie being slightly susceptible of a wandering mind and placing way too much emphasis on his heart than his mind. And much like that Bulgarian, God damn, can he be depressive. Russians are hard enough to manage, and the language barrier is going to be a nightmare. Then again, if players can just about make out what Robbie Keane bangs on about then perhaps I'm being a tad too harsh.

Having checked, Boba Fett and Darth Sidious are both unavailable and don't fancy the 50% tax with moves to England.

I've already touched on the necessity for a world class forward with an abundance of swagger in the previous blogs, and it's an echo of what we're all saying and hoping for. With van der Vaart arguably world class in terms of mental strength, technique and impact - if we had someone of similar ilk up front...and here we go again...it's ground-hog day. Close your eyes and imagine, and it will make you drool. Until January, if something does give way in terms of filling the gap, we still have to make do with what we have until the window re-opens.

So, what do we have exactly?

We know what Rafael gives us in terms of application and guile. We need him to give it to us away from home too. Luka is still on this perpetual road of mend to recapture the form we know he is capable of. Crafting and creating, starting the move from deep and playing killer balls in and around the box. When he does hit form, and he will soon, this will be huge for the team. Don't underestimate the difference between a 65% Luka and a 95% Luka. 100% Luka…and I'll be needing the smelling salts.

Bale has been granted a holiday, which is a cracking idea. Burn out, not an option - and with Manchester United away up next, we need him to be at his very best if Levy is going to rinse Fergie for £70M (Gareth's valuation goes up with each DML article that references him). Seriously though, Bale to United? You can't possibly believe the never-ending looping news articles covering this? Can you? Can you?

I find your lack of faith disturbing.

Lennon is continuing his rehabilitation, but his angry eyebrows would suggest he would much prefer Charlie behind him than Alan.

Crouch sort of doesn't but does assist vdV almost in an apologetic manner of just being there in the box. Basically, if he doesn't give away a free kick for simply breathing in the box, the ball might hit him or one of the defenders climbing up his legs and fall into the path of vdV. The Everton game, a perfect example. vdV expertly smashing the ball into the net from the magnetic ball to feet sent his way with the aid of the magical aura of Peter.

Any old excuse to re-post this.

One thing is for certain. It's not ideal having Crouchie up front in a 451. I'll admit it. Even if vdV has notched up five goals thus far. It's not Crouchie getting the goals. Whether it's hoof up to the lanky forward or to feet, it's not a tactic that is allowing for swash-buckle and that missing ingredient of intensity.

For the sake of hypothetical's, stick a Drogba, a Bellamy (hate to keep referring back to this git) or Chewbacca himself - and you just know that this would produce something extra. Something tangible in the way of a target. Because these ilk of players have plenty of ammunition and facets to their personality on the field. Drogba is a complete forward. Bellamy has tenacity and relentless annoyance (ironically, not a personal option due to his brittle bones, he's always injured, or at least it seems like he's always picking up knocks). And Chewbacca, cool and calm when required, but when required he simply doesn't give a sh*t and will f*ck you up.

Find the player, no matter the system, who can do the job. And the conundrum is surely solved. It is, isn't it?

Pause for thought.

And we're back again to the start. Ground-hog day.

Like I said, until Jan...we wait and in the mean time we hope we can find a rhythm and plenty of goals. It might come in the way of Defoe and his comeback. With his trademark power shots at goal. With vdV playing just off him. JD is more Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs than C-3PO waddle, so it's going to be interesting to see how it pans out.

As a footnote to all this (off the back of the Everton game), I should give a special mention to Sandro who really does look the part. Tidy player, knows his way around the pitch, effective and once he hits his stride, he's going to be very good for us. In time. He does appear to have the composure (in his head) to be a success for us and the Prem. Might not be flair, but has substance.

As for our former defensive man of unbreakable bricks, Wilson?

Palacios is a bit like the Death Star in Return of the Jedi. It's there patiently waiting with the power to destroy, but not quite turned on. Is it operational or isn't it? Is it a trap? An attempted trap? Or just a really bad attempt at controlling the ball? And time. Its a ticking. And if we don't get a move on, it could go belly-up as quickly as you can say 'fire a laser at that unguarded thing over there to blow it up, seriously, it's that frigging easy'.

We want our Wilson back. In fact, we want our Tottenham back. More of that Star Destroyer swagger than slow-brooding AT-AT.

And finally, having dragged the Star Wars franchise through the mud kicking and screaming (hey, it's just like being George Lucas!) if Bale needs a rest in future and there's no time for a beach holiday, then I have two words for ya. Just two words. Two names in fact. A first and second name.

Niko. Kranjčar.

He's not a jedi. He's a Croat.

Thanks for your time, and may the facere be with you.

Tottenham win 2-2

Champions League virginity lost. How was it for you? I've still got that warm and buzzy feeling.

Cracking game, plenty of positives and plenty of lessons learnt. First half was sensational. Superior in possession, first to second ball, hassled their players, generally bossed the game and carved out chances. Silenced the home crowd and transcended the Tottingham style of play across from domestic arenas to the premier European competition.

Then came the cheap goal. A struggle to adapt tactically after vdV was subbed and Schaaf's clever reorganisation which nullified us. They scored again. And could have scored more. But then we could have nicked it ourselves. We didn't buckle though, did we?

It was a baptism that showed us we can compete. But to compete and win, you have to retain 100% concentration and focus and know when to batten down the hatches or even sacrifice some of the fancy stuff to take the pace out of the game and frustrate the opposition.

I'd have taken a 2-2 before the game. Disappointed we didn't take the three points after it. But that in itself is a positive. I guess, if you look at this season as a whole thus far (and this season is still in its infancy), then I guess the main thing for me is for us to re-tune the killer instinct…and kill.

That and the defensive quirks that need ironed out. And one or two other bits.


The First Half

Superb. Authoritative in possession, biting at their ankles and chasing down their players when we didn't have the ball. Our confidence was such that the Germans actually struggled to retain composure. We threatened to over-run them. The movement, especially of vdV, was class. Bale was beastly and tormented Fritz. 1-0 was deserved. Be it an own goal. But Crouch would have had it for himself. Which he did for the second. A majestic volley from Jenas (yeah, you heard me right) to vdV who crossed beautifully for Crouch to head it in. For 43 minutes we bossed it.

Almeida Goal

Seems BAE is getting flack for this. I'd blame the general lack of command of the situation between all three of them as a collective (King, CC and BAE) more so than any one individual. You can't dither like that. It's suicidal. It was a cheap goal and the very definition of a life-line. 2-0 at half-time would have meant a completely different second half.

Marin Goal

A goal at the start of the second half. Equally as cheap. No denying the quality of Marin and his finish. But if you're going to be invited to shoot, then you're going to do just that. It's rude not to. Far too many players backing off and ball watching. Kaboul a bit norty with that. Tasty player that Marin. How much you reckon?

Rafael van der Vaart

Top drawer. Made us tick in the first forty five. His movement, touch and vision allows for that extra dimension to our play. The type we’ve became accustomed to when Modric is on form. Went off very early in the second half due to a calf strain. Precautionary.

Schaaf and Redknapp

Schaaf made the tactical change that saw Hunt replace Bargfrede and Marin hold the left flank which was the start of a far more fragmented approach from us what with the hosts working out that their narrow midfield was easy pickings. I'm not suggesting in reply we should have looked to put men behind the ball, but (as I mentioned at the start of this article) we should have attempted to regain control and not give them time to build attack after attack. Replacing the injured vdV with Keane rather than perhaps another midfield, meant our midfield was over-run for most of the second half. We lost that studs on the ball composure and work ethic that saw us control the tempo for practically the entirety of the first half.

Overall, re: Harry, good job with our initial impact. What with our missing players and the reshuffle and another attempt at 451 (4411). Time for the gaffer to decide on formation and positional roles/responsibilities and allow the team to re-gel and retain the standard set from last term. If it's one line up for home and one for away, with variations for Europe and the EPL, so be it.

Crouch

Excellent. Up front on his, forced the first goal, scored the second. And could have got on the end of another in the second half as well as almost, almost, but not quite finding the winner.  Some are still critical of our lank, but he continues to prove - at the top level - he does the job. Will it work in the EPL? It sort of does and doesn't, as teams know how to contain Crouchie more so in England than abroad. And he's not prolific domestically, compared to a Defoe. Should be given a chance with JD out and see if it takes us anywhere.

The bad stuff

BAE lapse in concentration, King also partly responsible and Cudicini too. The first goal conceded was avoidable. Corluka and Lennon appear to be devoid of form at the minute. Not sure why Charlie is struggling so much. He's gone from looking lethargic but in control to now just being lethargic. Azza is a mixed bag. Has had his moments this season (Stoke away) but seems to be struggling, what with all the tasty service finding its way to the opposite wing. He does okay, but nothing more. Get Gio or Bentley on just to remind Lennon he has to step it up to keep his place.

Keane. Made some runs, but perhaps its because he hardly ever starts and he replaced the uber-solid vdV, he just seemed to do very little and at times looked a pale shadow of the Keane of 3/4 seasons ago. It's summed up perfectly when he failed/refused to play Bale in early and just held onto the ball. Doesn't look like he can jig past players either. He did apply effort, but he just seems to me to be on the outside looking in.

The good stuff

Everyone, including the ones guilty of the odd (costly) lapse, should be applauded. It was a decent, more then decent, debut for us. Well done.

vdV, Bale and Kaboul the stand-outs. The latter, a raw sometimes erratic player quite obviously equipped physically (ooh) to be more than decent but can sometimes scare me what with his naivety and day dreams. But to perform like that. Well done. To him and the faith/man management of Harry.

Jenas was also good. No, this article has not been hacked. He worked hard. Was far more effective in the first half when we had so much of the ball, not so effective off it in parts during the second 45. But it's easy to be critical of a player when you're always critical of him, by nit-picking even when he does well. And he did, but then, he always does now and again. Which is the problem with Jenas. It's only ever now and again.

Played some lovely stuff first half. Even though we were under pressure second half, survived a few scary moments, but we could have won it. It was a respectable away point.

Midfield structure/balance

The formation worked. For a time. As discussed, we didn't adapt accordingly when the opposition changed their approach. We have to be far more reactive in these games. Harry did well to drop Palacios and line-up the midfield in the way he did to work the flanks and pressure the Germans with Bale rampaging. But the moment we lost vdV and Bremen got a stranglehold of the centre, we should have changed it far quicker than we did.

Harry has to step it up tactically during the game (I'm repeating myself now) and retain players in their best positions. Bale does what he's asked to do, but I'd much rather see him remain in the left-wing position. I can't quite figure out Huddlestone's role. There are subtle changes to his positional and attacking/defensive duties from one game to the next depending on whether it's Modric, Palacios of (now) Jenas starting alongside him. He was solid. So no complaints. I guess the fact he can just do the job he's asked to do, is a good thing. But he can sometimes lose his grip on his positional sense which leaves us open to pressure.

Domestic hang-over avoidance

Will post this bit as a separate blog post, later on.

Conclusion

We were not thrashed or humiliated. In fact we can feel slight despondency with the fact we didn't win.

We can compete in this competition, no doubt. I fancy us to win our home games so it’s a case of more of the same when we next play away, but tighten it up at the back and defuse any tactical resurgence from the opposing side in midfield by standing up, soaking it up and throwing it back in the faces.

Cracking stuff Spurs. Hold your nerve next time out.

COYS.

WALOB II

Defoe. Off. On a stretcher. Clutching his ankle. Three Spurs players go on England duty. How many come back fit? Can someone say 'conspiracy'? If you want further evidence, look no further than this Saturday's up and coming EPL game away to W.B.A.

Howard Webb officiates.

Facebook Tottenham Relegation Party group in 3...2...1...

Forward Thinking

by Chrisman

A '20 goals a season man' is a bit of a red herring. These days 15 league goals are more than enough. We get goals from all over the pitch. We do however need another striker. Crouch should be 3rd choice. Harry doesn't seem to fully trust Pav....or, reading between the lines, maybe he views Pav as essential, and was saving him for the arguably bigger game on Tuesday.

Crouch's problem - he can't beat a man. He is not a threat at all receiving it with his back to goal and beating his man on the turn. Like Pav, Defoe, or any number of top strikers can. The problem this creates is that defenders know they can get ultra tight on him, because they know he's not going to go past them. Other top strikers will automatically have 2 yards of space because defenders know they have to drop off, or risk getting put on their asses with a sharp turn and sprint. This means they can receive the ball in a bit of space, and turn and go towards goal. It opens the pitch up. Crouch always has a man hanging off him, and he can only go one way - away from goal. This makes life difficult for him and us.

He often has to receive the ball to his head, because he can't properly run the channels and be in enough space to receive it to feet. Pav is so much better at this, and adds a different angle of attack when he does it, an angle Crouch rarely provides. We end up playing the long ball to Crouch far too much. You could say that this isn’t his fault, but you could also be a bit more astute. You could see that the reason we play this ball so much is because Crouch doesn’t have the speed of movement to offer any other option.

Yes Crouchie has a good touch, and when he has chances he can take them. But he is just too slow and immobile. Even the likes of Berbatov, Saha, Anelka etc can all hold the ball up, and also offer that ability to turn and go. Crouch is one dimensional. Admittedly, that one dimension is a dimension he is pretty good at. But it’s not quite enough.

I also believe that Crouch knows he is a bit out of his depth. His confidence is suffering slightly as a result. I think if he was used as a 'plan B' 3rd striker, he would be much more comfortable. He'd know that's the role that suits him best, and it's a role in which he can really offer something. It’s just I don’t feel he offers anything that Pav doesn’t, and Pav has a lot more in his locker than Crouch. I’m not saying Pav is the second coming of Klinsmann, but right now Crouch is making him look really good. At the very least Pav deserves a good run of 6-8 games where he is a guaranteed starter. It’s no more than Crouch has had after all.

Having 5 good forwards on our books might be a good thing if they were all emotionless automatons. But they ain’t, and there are only so many games in a season, and not nearly enough to keep all 5 happy. So we end up getting some silly situations like Saturday when you have to bring on 2 strikers at once. What about letting Defoe have 10 minutes with Pav? Did anyone really expect Keane to do anything positive? Why not bring on Dos Santos up front for the last 10 minutes? It’s easy to look at things in hindsight from my armchair, but logic seems to go out of the window when so many different parties have to be appeased. Having so many good strikers will do us more harm than good.

Strikers play on confidence. They have to know their role, and know the hierarchy. What kind of situation is it when 2 strikers start, and they know that if they don’t produce anything after an hour there are 2 replacements the manager is dying to throw on? It’s not a good look. I’m pretty certain Harry knows this, and it wouldn’t greatly surprise anyone to see 2 of the 5 leave in the next week. I’d be delighted to see Keane leave, and if Crouch left I certainly wouldn’t be too worried. As long as one comes in. That still leaves us with 4.

Any number of players would do. Forlan is obviously the dream choice. Fabiano is interesting, but I think he’s too much of a finisher. In the PL you need to be able to do a lot more than just finish to be a good striker. Berbatov is an interesting proposition. I would definitely like to see what him and Pav up front could do. The move is probably there for him if he really wants it. Loic Remy looks extremely raw. Gyan looked good in the World Cup. Milevsky of Kiev looks to be a good prospect. There are plenty of options, all offering great potential but also a fair degree of risk.

I don’t think any other area of the team needs major improvements. We saw last season that it was only a pretty small improvement needed to change us from a best of the rest team into a really serious contender. We have the cake. It just needs to be iced. Give me some sweet, creamy frosting please Mr Levy.

Anglo-Spurs backbone

King. Dawson. Lennon. Defoe. Crouch. Huddlestone. Six of the best. All called to the provisional England squad by Fabio. Out of the six, I'd say two are certain. Two deserve to go. One of the remaining two should be awarded with the honour of being part of the final 23. Leaving just the one who will miss out, but might well be a candidate for the future.

Rewards for all regardless for a fantastic season. Tottenham Hotspur, the club with the English backbone. And bionic knee. It's a bit early doors, what with the season only just ending (well, almost - still the FA Cup to play out and Pompeys certain win over Chelsea) but I'm beginning to get the itch for the World Cup. I always do. Not that I'm ever obsessed with qualifying matches, but when we're involved in the main show it's fairly difficult to ignore it. As much dislike as I have for the likes of Terry, Gerrard, Lampard etcetc, I'm hoping the Tottenham contingent do us  proud, to prolong the wide smile on my face through the summer and into next season.

King - Utterly deserves an England swansong. Proved his knee can survive 4 consecutive games on the trot. Colossus of a player and the best we have at the back.

Dawson - No pace. But makes up for it in the way of determination and bravery. A sort of raw version of John Terry. Just without the **** qualities. Proper 110 percenter is our Daws.

Lennon - Only just back. Has to go because he's best at what he does. He's no speed merchant (unlike Theo). He can pass and cross (unlike Theo). He doesn't have a book out and doesn't have his photo plastered over the celeb pages of tabloids (unlike Theo). He's a player who has improved and developed and terrorised sides prior to his injury (unlike Theo). And now he's back, granted he's only had a couple of appearances, but rather than be nothing more than an option asked to run directly at tired legs (Theo) in the final stages of a game, he can start and be used effectively over 90 minutes. Does concern me though, this nations obsession with Walcott. Johnson, SWP, Walcott, Lennon. Decisions, decisions, hey Fabio?

Defoe and Crouch - The best of the rest that England have available to them. Which isn't a lot. Heskey? Rather Crouch. Bent? Okay, let's repeat ourselves again - he feeds off scraps and counter-attacks, loose balls in the box. Ask him to play as part of a cohesive unit, inter-linking, intelligent moving...no chance. So yeah, JD and Crouch are far superior options. Even if JD has gone off the boil, and tbh lacks the ability to play himself onside at times.

Huddlestone - Mobility. Lack of adaptability. He'll only be able to play one way and we'd have to accommodate him. In the right game though, he could ping the ball about Hoddlesque. And he has proven more than capable at times, but arguably lacks the top level experience and 'testing' to be worthy of a risk in a high-pressured game. Does deserves his place in the final 30 though. Just think he's the most obvious to be left behind.

Good luck to all of them. In Fabio we trust, right?

Brings me nicely onto the below youtube clip. New Carlsberg advert. I must be more easy than a Sunday morning, because the hairs on the back of my neck stand up watching this. And I can't be the only person who gets a little choked up with the lovely Bobby Robson touch.

Buzzing, just buzzing...

Not sure where to begin. There is so much to take in, I can hardly concentrate on matters concerning in-depth analysis. I know I sound like a broken record, but I always knew we'd do it. I've banged on about it for ages now. I think most of us could see it but could hardly even consider embracing the idea, because in our heads, that would be as close to jinxing it as we could possibly come. This quote from AANP sums it up:

"As a long-time Spurs-supporting chum put it to me yesterday, we’re not built for this sort of thing. Let-downs and heartbreaks we can deal with, but this business of every single blasted game coming loaded with significance is just too much to take"

And when the stakes are high, the faster the heart beats and the more intense and unbearable things are. Which is why a defeat here or there had some of the faithful, knee-jerking. It's a defensive inbuilt psychological mechanism that aids us, protects us from the disappointments. Same old Tottenham we say. And when disaster strikes, we shrug knowingly and then look forward to next season.

The semi-final and the 3-1 up at Sunderland have proved to be in some ways inspirational to the team.

9 wins out of 11 games to secure glory. That's just fantastic. Unquestionably fantastic.

What we've gone and done has made every single miserable moment worth it because this win, this historic moment, is all the better for the pain suffered in the past. Next season? I can't wait for it. Is it small time to celebrate this achievement? Of course not. Considering how bastard hard it's been in the past decade to get anywhere near the Top 4.

So, I'm now going to attempt a match review. This is gonna be messy.

I can't say I enjoyed the match. The experience made me sick. Even with my continued confidence since Christmas, it all appeared to desert me just before kick-off. I found myself shifting uncomfortably, almost not wanting to watch, preferring if possible to lose myself in a trance for 90 minutes and awake to find we've won. No such luck. I had to endure it, and for the first time this season I was actually incapable of retaining any form of composure. I found myself dismantling every nano-second of the game, micro-analysing it to the nth degree. It all played out in slow-mo.

21 wins in 28 games for City at home. But we hardly ever lose up there. The stats being churned out just made me dizzy. This was the £30M/£40M/£50M match they said. Cash Wednesday (seriously, only Sky could call it that). The play-off.

Bricking it big time.

First half, was okay. Not amazing. Something lacked, at least that's how I was seeing it. Lennon and Bale not so much in the game thanks to the constant hoofing of the ball up to Crouch. Our play seemed rushed at times. All a bit too much too soon too little. No retention of the ball. City were having a go. We were just a tad too passive. But with hindsight I guess we were measuring up the opposition. Slowly slowly getting a grip of the game. Patiently waiting for the tempo to change in our favour. Which it did in the second half.

However, the nerves obviously blinded me because a neutral would have pointed out that the game could have been 2-0 either way. 0-0 was good, for us. Just needed to test Fulop more. Crouch unlucky with his effort off the woodwork. King scored. Should have counted. Tevez a menace for City.

I found myself thinking 'this is f*cking bollocks Spurs. Get stuck in, and smash these over-rated ****'s out of their own ground'. Wanted to see a bit of that dare to do dance from the boys in Lilywhite.

Second half. Lennon on a run across the middle, doesn't pass to Bale, shoots, wasted. 55 minutes in, first shot on target that Fulop was made to save. Decent effort from JD. Hudd stamps. Lucky with the yellow. Still need to be brave. Modric showing great spirit and fight in the middle of the park. More action. Moddle getting crowded out in the box. Lennon cross, defended well. Then a cross and Defoe and Crouch stretching…almost, almost. Agonising.

Then the word ominous appeared in front of me in the form of a footballing God, all smug and arrogant, asking me how things were going, before disappearing with a cheeky wink. The git.

I was emotionally dead at this point. And although I could not see it at the time, we were bossing it. Creating chances. And City's flirtatious first half of attacks was becoming a distant memory.

Lennon off, Bentley on. Heart stopped for a brief moment when Gomes allowed the ball to go under his foot. Then we had a mazy mazy Crouchie run. My heart. My poor poor heart.

In the midst of all this, when City did have a moment, we had Ledley King. You know him right? He's the one that isn't human. Phenomenal player. The block from Tevez, just amazing. You shall not pass indeed.

Just before that, Fulop pulls off a stupendous save. Or just saves a weak Crouch header. Depends how badly you knee-jerked at the time. I held my head in my hands.

Then it happened.

Before kick-off, around 6pm or so, Chas (from Chas and Dave, obviously) was interviewed on a London news programme. He cited Crouch and said he felt he would be instrumental in the game. I sort of scoffed. This was before the sides were announced. Amazing In the Know knowledge from Chas. Even though he looked a bit dazed on the piano, he was on the money with his prediction.

Fulop, having palmed the ball instinctively away from a Kaboul cross, deflected off Bridge, finding Crouch and his beautiful beautiful head. Crouch making amends.

Absolute insanity.

Kaboul dancing past Bellamy with ease thanks to a pathetic attempt by the Welshman to stop the pulsating Frenchman. Crouch getting the goal he deserved for his second half performance and the travelling Spurs fans along with every Spurs fan the world over going mental, just mental.

82 minutes. And the dream, the dream was not just alive and kicking but stripping off and about to run around naked, big willy flapping around all over the place. This was it. You could taste it now. Er…not the big willy, Champions League. Obviously.

The ominous feeling was gone, the footballing God appearing before me, no longer looking on smugly, but instead whistling the theme music to the Champions League.

This. Can't be. Happening. What are these emotions returning to my wrecked body?

Wilson on for the excellent Modric. Four minutes of injury time.

Then the final whistle. And years of hurt vanquished in the midst of celebrations. Bottle jobs? That fallacy has been buried 6 feet under. This Spurs squad has time and time again dug deep in the face of adversity and come through it. No dodgy lasagne in sight.

It wasn't just at Eastland's. This CL position was won against Arsenal and Chelsea at WHL. But obviously won across the 37 games played. Even with the hiccups. We have been consistent. Spurs. Consistent. Amazing.

King, so deserving of this. Kaboul was a monster. Dawson, Huddlestone - all of them, every single one of them have played a part. I even thought Jenas movement for the drenching of Harry in his post-match interview was superb. All the players deserve credit. Not just for this game, but through-out the season. And to think at any given moment we had a key player out injured. That's actually scary that. Sign a couple of top top drawer players in the summer and I can see us sustaining a Top 4 challenge again. Which is key to progress, because the next step would be to challenge for bigger things. But yeah, one step at a time...

This (CL qualification) might not be an FA Cup final. This might not be silverware. And history will only remember a 4th spot (3rd still a possibility, but let's not get too greedy), but the significance of this is far more important in the here and now.

We stopped City from getting CL football and possibly consolidating their position in the Top 4 for years to come. The pressure is back on them to go for it again, whilst we can prepare for retaining this position next season. Which I have no doubt we will do. The elite, the Sky Sports Top Four has been cracked. This is massively important, mainly for the purposes of belief and mental strength. A winning mentality. The players now have a benchmark to aim to better in 2011. This isn't a fluke or an upset. We deserve this. And can only build on it.

Qualifier obviously standing in the way of the group stages, but I'm sure we'll be just fine. We're edging ever closer to them lot across the road too.

I'll cut this short now (I know, it's been anything but short), as I could go on and on, but will instead blog more later in shorter parts. Like I said at the start, so much to cover.

I have plenty to say about Harry Redknapp (spot on selection and tactics) and of course Daniel Levy, the man who scrapped the DoF system and went back to basics. From bottom 4 to top 4. And yes, that includes a letter to the chairman. But will leave those thoughts for later on in the week. I'm also looking forward to seeing how the press and pundits react to our achievement. Yes, I'm referring to Hansen and Lawro and the mongs on Gillette Soccer Saturday.

Remember last season. 2 points, 8 games. Gillette Soccer Saturday playing a comedy video of a clown, ripping the piss out of Spurs with various stand-up jokes whilst the panel laughed away. Remember this season, after winning 4 straight games then coming unstuck against Chelsea and Arsenal and United. Back in our box, they said.

You might feel dirty for it, but gloat. Gloat to your hearts content.

What a f*cking season. We've actually gone and done that thing that everyone wanted and everyone else expected us not to do. We did it. And the club shop dvd of 2010 will no doubt be a best-seller.

I choked up at the end. Cried for the first time since Italia 90.

We dared. Congratulations.

I f*cking love football and I love this club. Bask in it. It's richly deserved. New chapter, new adventure.

I've gone all giddy.

Crouchie Conundrum

England's super-sub, Tottenham's super-drab...

Crouch for England and Crouch for Tottenham appear to be two completely different entities. One is a goal scoring machine, confident, always in the right place at the right time and finding the target with simplicity thanks to his confident positioning. The other doesn't quite hit the same giddy heights (insert 'tall' joke here). But then that's no shocker.

Placed into a forward's forward position (that's really forward) and asked to run into the box looking for the ball will pretty much result with him (probably) finding the net. Much like he did last night, much like he does all the time for Engerland. Play him alongside a main striker (i.e. up front with Defoe) and it probably won't work out too good. In fact we know it doesn't quite work out good.

This might have a lot to do with the hoofing up to him some of our (Spurs) players are obsessed with doing, even though he is more than capable of playing with the ball at his feet, but a Robbie Keane link-up player (at his peak) he is not. Which is the reason why the tall giant figure of Crouch is lost in all the build-up play at Spurs.

So basically, what we have is a player far more comfortable knocking them in than setting them up. The Defoe/Crouch partnership does work at times (as seen at Pompey) but long term, Spurs need a far more mobile complete forward who can slot into playing alongside someone like JD or Pav or even Crouch. Spurts of it won't aid the free-flowing football we've seen when Pav starts alongside Defoe.

Until then, it's fragmented football up front for Spurs. But plenty of joy for England.

Discuss.

Observations after Anfield...

Some observations after Anfield and beyond...(reposted, as the original article had comments disabled)

Did we learn anything from the 2-0 loss? We learnt that we always, without fail, choke when expectations are high. In fact we choke even when expectations are not high. Without fail. Ha! All we had to do was show some assertive swagger at Anfield and instead we failed miserably. Between now and April - if we stand any chance, any chance at all of finishing 4th - we have to remain unbeaten. Because April could well be a shower of pain. Take a look at the fixture list, then go sit in the corner of a room and slowly rock your body forwards and backwards until the men in white coats help you up.

Howard Webb is a mong. How many times has he directly influenced a game against our favour now?

Aston Villa 6 Blackburn 4. Did I really miss this game? Nine different goal-scorers? I even removed the recording from Sky+ just after it began because the other half wanted me to record American Idol. Which I happen to watch with her. Well, she doesn't actually watch it. I watch it on my own. With popcorn.

Did Jenas have a good game? Once more he divides opinion. Some people think he's shit others think he's crap. So, what do you think? Did he work hard or was he ineffectual out there? Flattered to deceive or under-rated? Who knows. Fact is he never does anything that can be perceived as completely comprehensive one way or the other.

The men holding the flags and the mong with the whistle are utterly incapable of understanding the offside rule and how it works in a passage of play where the player comes back into an onside position before the ball is played forwards again. Which is what happened with Defoe. I think.

Was I the only person who thought that was Pav on the touchline coming on only to then see Hutton? I think it's safe to say that our 'squad depth' is vastly over-rated.

Arsenal continue to exist within a bubble where the laws of the footballverse are ignored without question. It seems that brutal tackles are acceptable when dished out by one of the untouchables. The irony is invisible as witnessed with the cowardly foul Gallas committed on Mark Davies, with led to a goal for the home side from the resulting break away. Wenger, obviously, didn't see it yet feels it wasn't too bad. Didn't see it, but concludes it wasn't too bad. The logic. It's unparalleled. Dismissive. Anyone care to remember the Eduardo Crusade? There were rocks on the moon that knew about the heinous assault on the player thanks to Wenger's relentless ranting. Davies appears to have got lucky (not quite the right way to describe it). Brilliant stuff at the end of the game with Gallas and his Haiti awareness drive. Faux morality at it's finest.

Also worth mentioning how Wenger doesn't think his team did anything wrong by not kicking the ball into touch with a player down injured. How times have changed since 2006. Someone let BMJ know. WengerVision is in full effect.

Peter Crouch will never be awarded a free-kick in his favour, even if sexually assaulted in the penalty area. It would seem it's fair to hang onto the lank, pulling and tugging his shirt, kissing his neck and doing your utmost to drag him down to the ground so you can have your wicked way with him. Next tall person you see on the street, jump on his back and spank his bottom. No one cares. They're freaks. It's what they're meant for.

Bale. I feel for this lad. He isn't a bad player. In fact, going forward he is more than useful. Doesn't defend as brightly so development wise we need to work out where his future should be. Left back or left wing. Wing-back it is then. Regardless of the position the result is always the same. No win. It's not a monkey on his back. It's his monkey face. Resolution? Plastic surgery. Pin back those ears, shave his head and sort out some re-constructive work on his cheek bones and we're set to go!

When's Azza back? We're a one man team.