Jan transfer window shenanigans

Day 19 of the month of January and we've had plenty of nothingness thus far. The Sandro 'deal' appears to be nothing more than an amalgamation of possibilities, twisted and scrunched up presenting to us a story that is neither here or there. He's close to signing one minute, no chance the next. Other hack inspired stories tells us that we are after an experienced right-back...because, you know, because we're always short of this rare breed of a footballer.

Victor Moses is likely to sign for Arsenal rather than us where he will no doubt develop a God complex within the first three months of wearing their colours. Have we been linked to anyone else that we could perhaps pencil in as a serious target (rather than fantasy birthed from the Imaginarium of Doctor Murdoch)?

Ben Foster. We bid for him. Utd rejected the bid. We then denied any knowledge of any bid being made in the first place.

My oh my the excitement is almost at epic bed-wetting proportions. I'm positively glowing.

Pav is STILL at the club. He is, honestly, I read it in the papers. Apparently Zenit are no longer interested. But Roman should be content regardless. His wife is hot. Cue countless well at least he's scoring in bed jokes.

And on the subject of strikers, RVN has been re-linked. Again. Apparently we are 'in talks' with the great man. This is perhaps one whisper that I wouldn't shrug about if we managed to pull it off. So no doubt, it won't be happening. Right?

/scratches head

Odds on us signing zilch? I'd say pretty good at the minute. We are nearing nail biting territory. Last minute panic buy blatantly on the cards. Welcome back Raziak!

Unless we can draft Comolli back in for some last minute transfer shenanigans I think Harry might be content with the squad we have. I just hope we are strong enough to last the distance.

I also hope I'm proved wrong, and we do sign someone. Just make sure it ain't a bleeding right-back please Mr Levy.

Richards. Veloso. Moses. Sandro. Parker. Lewis. Keane.

Hype. Sometimes talking something up is far more exiting and interesting than the reality of how it turns out in the end. Take for example the weather. London was meant to be hit hard last night, instead we got a curve ball of snow that seem to travel from Buckinghamshire down and around towards the Gatwick area and then further around and then up towards Colchester, catching most areas - some worse than others - leaving the rest shrugging and asking 'Was that it?' Where I am (outside the M25) there was snow, nothing disruptive. Just enough to hear it crunch under my feet when walking to the station this morning. Sure, the tube journey into London was slow and the line has since been part suspended. Still low key stuff. Nothing as dramatic as having the line completely suspended and working from home. Anti-climax when you hear stories about Liverpool running out of grit and their roads icing over, with public travel and schools out of bounds.

Seems things closer to home are proving to be nothing out of the ordinary. Which brings me onto the not so exciting and not so interesting transfer gossip currently doing the rounds. It's not quite picked up yet. You'll have no doubt seen the Micah Richards stories, most stating that the lad has commented on how Tottenham would be his preferred choice, even though there are no direct quotes (understandably). Micah is a right-back that plays centre-back, but doesn't seem to do so with much acclaimed conviction. At least not when I've seen him play. I do like him though. Has potential if he's developed properly, but see no point of signing him if he's going to be used at right-back. Unless the plan is to sell Hutton to Sunderland and then have two right-backs in Corluka and Richards who can both (attempt to) play at CB too for cover. Not sure where that particular scenario would leave the likes of Naughton (he's a right back, right? Or is that Walker? I forget, considering one is out on loan and the other nowhere near the first team).

Veloso is once more linked. And various ITK forum dwellers are informing us that we're looking at this very closely. Might happen. Blah blah blah. Apparently the Sandro deal is proving to be too complex so we're looking elsewhere for a DM. I'll take a calculated risk here and say this one (Veloso) is a non-starter. Old story, resurfacing due to lack of creativity from both message boards and tabloid hacks. Personally, Veloso strikes me as a player in love with himself. He's the anti-Wilson. Rather look elsewhere. The young lad at Pompey, O'Hara, looks a bit tasty.

Nah, just pulling your plonker. Seriously wondering if Harry is even going to bother to plug the hole in midfield. Last transfer window he told the press we lacked numbers there. But we've all learnt to take Harry with a pinch of salt.

Moses has been tagged with a £5M price by desperate Palace. If we get rid of Pav (to Fulham on loan perhaps - according to a Spurs Odyssey ITK) then we have room for a young and hungry forward who won't complain too much about sitting on the bench. Although that might well stagnate his progress. Perhaps we can sign him and leave him at Palace (something we could have done with Bostock perhaps). Is he any good? He's showing promise. Big strapping lad, physical, bit of skill. Palace fan at work can't stop banging on about him. But then he would considering that the only thing they have going for them are their young players. But this type of hype is reminiscent to the type we endured with Giles Barnes and one or two others who were proclaimed 'the next big thing'. It's not going to be a signing for the present if it does happen.

As mentioned earlier, no movement on the Sandro deal. But then nobody really knows what is happening if anything is actually happening. Once more I refer you back to the near legendary Diego saga. Remember the badly translated Brazilian news articles covering Pleats exploits out in South America, talking to both Santos and Diego's father (who owned a percentage of his image rights)? Biggest regret is that we failed to sign 'The Sock'. But it's not for the want of trying. With Sandro, a lot of it is based on comments made by his current club. Harry's comments suggest that we might be interested and range from not knowing what's going on to claiming the chairman is looking into it. Don't be shocked if this runs into next summer.

And the less said about Scott Parker the better. Injury prone and has twice allegedly rejected us already. He makes no hairs on the back of my neck stand up. The next DM to be signed by us should be understudy material. Not West Ham trash on his last legs. Yes yes, he impresses every now and again - but that's the problem with Parker. It's every now and again.

There's also the Joe Lewis phenomenon. He's the decent Posh keeper that impressed in our FA Cup win last weekend, enough to have some Spurs fans, tongue firmly in cheek, singing his name. We do love a flirt. Much like Moses, would be one for the future. Barry Fry also with tongue in cheek sharing a joke with Harry over the kids availability (we can have first option).

And that's it. There's one or two examples of formulaic guess work going on where people claiming to have inside info create very subtle and ambiguous statements that don't hold up as anything more than a safety net for their ego. My personal favourite concerns how Robbie Keane has asked permission to be allowed to find a new club. Not a transfer request, just a gentleman's agreement. It's textbook. Everyone knows Keane is half the player he was, disinterested and generally struggling. So you've got a 50/50 chance if you say 'he's staying' or 'he's going' but in order to retain some form of credibility, you simply make the suggestion that he might be going. And if it happens, you can refer back to it. Genius.

The search for a definitive breakthrough story, before it actual breaks through continues.

Feel free to share the wealth if you have any. My guess is, you don't. Because the walls built around Daniel Levy's office are completely and utterly sound-proof.