Devastating news, brace yourselves...

In an interview over at West Ham Till I Die, Scott Duxbury has once more reiterated that they will not sell any of their players to us. Their fans do not want to see their best players sign for their most bitter local rivals. Nothing more sickening apparently.

What a melter.

The day a player of the ilk of Palacios or Modric turns us down and signs for them instead is the day that the word 'rival' can be used with much deserved acclaim in response to what we think of them. That and if Chelsea and Arsenal suddenly cease to exist.

I know what you're going to say, the very fact that I'm mentioning this is giving credence to the fact that I must care enough to mention it in the first place. I guess I'm only doing it to once more remind the people who do care (guess who) that they are the ones who perpetuate this demented obsession.

We're a bigger club than West Ham much like we are bigger than Fulham or Pompey. It's not arrogance, it's fact based on about a hundred different things (talk amongst yourselves). Much like Manchester United and (unfortunately) Arsenal are bigger than us. That's life as it currently stands. I'd say it to any Fulham fan too. Not with abuse or disrespect. But with a factual nod and hug.

I guess I'm now perpetuating the stereotype that the 'ammers see as our demented obsession.

I guess by virtue of this type of banter, we are rivals of sorts. Like the neighbour a few doors down with the smaller garden claiming that his is better than ours because he has more garden gnomes than we do...with us shouting back that we never said we've got a better garden but now you mention it...

If that's the case, I'm getting my suit measured for the Cup final.

Doomed if we do, doomed if we don't

So, I'm sitting here tucking into a tuna salad (I'm on a health kick at the minute) discussing the state of football at work. The Man Utd fan is overwhelmingly disillusioned with the game (damn you Fergie and your relentless quest for silverware).

He's not renewing his season ticket (he's a proper manc by the way - not a Surrey dweller - who lives and works in London but travels up for most games). He's a little sick of all the greedy money obsessed players. The Ronaldo saga is obviously a sticking point, but more so Carlos Tevez who will be (probably) joining Man City, not for the money, but because of the football as United have failed to make him feel part of the furniture at Old Trafford. I'm guessing Carlos will be part of City's five man strike-force including Bellamy, Robinho, Santa Cruz and Elano. No bench warming for the Argentine then.

In all likelihood Elano won't be part of the set-up next season. I can only pray and sacrifice a Chirpy effigy to the footballing Gods that Harry doesn't look towards Eastland's with a cheeky £15M bid for mad man Craig.

Even with the high tax rate taking a bite out of their wage packet (some of the poor blighters are only bringing home £40,000 a week after tax) they can rest assured that there is still legal room to wriggle around in. Much like City are doing at the moment with the Eto'o personal terms negotiations.

Little clubs like us will struggle to compete. Logistically, there ought to be no difference between us and City with regards to what we can offer players in the way of ambition. But as seen with Gareth Barry (who decided against Champs League with Liverpool or possibly Arsenal) money talks. Eto'o has no reason to sign for us. Not because we are not in Europe like City but because we can't offer £250,000 a week or sign other players of similar ilk for similar wages.

I guess the issue at the heart of the no-limit ethos is around the argument as to whether players are ambitious and prefer to join a team that can challenge from the off (or near enough) rather than a club that will not be able to attract world class players. So if you want to challenge, you need to remove the hurdles in front of you and only attempt to jump the one at the end. It's a short-cut, that may or may not work. What's ironic, and suggested to me by the manc, is that Spurs are a prime club for a billionaire.

Rather than spend £15M on several decent players which don't always pan out too well, why not make massive ridiculous bids for 'superstars' and just go for the Top 4 jugular with a razor sharp short-cut?

But alas, we are safe from such dramas. And it all feels a little too superficial. Too easy. Not that it is, but it's easier. But how would we react if it happened? Fans always scoff at the prospect for reasons I've already given. But would it be ok because we have a far more richer history than the likes of City? Or would that be an excuse to appease ourselves from the hypocrisy?

You will probably find that the hunger for success will out weigh everything else in the end.

Such is life.

We cursed Chelsea for doing something similar when Roman pumped his millions into the club. But they were already a Champs League side, and the attraction there for players was mainly down to the fact that they appointed the Special One. Who only signed on because he knew he'd have plenty of money to play with and that players would join because of his reputation. Chelsea without the money is not the same proposition. If you look at the pre-Roman days, they did more than well and signed plenty of big name players - but they were still way off the pace of title winners.

We might be in a better position with our wage budget, in comparison to our prior generosity. So say the rumours and having terminated the reserve side, there is more money in the kitty than usual to spend on first team affairs. More money, but nothing stratospheric. Meaning we are not in the same league to compete with City purely on the side of contract offers (imagine City with money AND Champions League).

But all this shouldn't cause mass depression. The Utd fan is just pissed off because modern day players are more detached than ever. But we all know this already. It's nothing new. But rather than clubs striving to match their fans expectations through the traditional ways, the option for whoring themselves out to billionaires who want a plaything seems to be the only viable desperate solution to play catch-up and catch-up fast.

As for me?

I'm undecided about City and whether I want them to do well.

Usually, outside the Top 4, we attract the most hype in off-season with transfers. In fact, we probably get more coverage than they do as we are firm favs of footballing agents and lazy journalism. We've been linked to around 80 players so far this season (if not more). At a guess, only 10 (maybe less) of them are possible genuine targets. Regardless of the stats, the pre-season dark horse tag is usually shared between us and Everton. Mainly because we splash out millions. But things have changed. City are now the team to watch as they go in search of cracking the monopoly.

So the pressure is off for a start. Hughes will have to produce the goods and man-manage with confident skill to keep all his superstars in check. It won't be easy. But they are buying up decent players, not just offensive by also defensive.

If they break up the top 4 then one of the current elite will re-join the peasants. Which would be more than humorous as that would place (the de-throned club) on our level, and they will suffer more so because of the dip in money and attraction stakes. But the consequence of this is that City will cement their place by spending even more money and being able to attract even bigger stars because of their newly gained position.

I'm undecided because from the perspective of ambition, how can we ever expect to break into the Top 4 if someone else gets there first?

And what's worse? City, buying their way into the Top 4 or Everton, spending little and getting there on a tiny budget? The latter would qualify as football justice IMO, but would have us asking questions about our obvious mis-management with our endless £15M purchases.

So do I want City to succeed? Or do I want Hughes sacked before Christmas with City bottom half?

I've decided. I simply want us to finish above them. At least that way Noel and Liam will be even more miserable than usual.

A Spurs shirt to be proud of...

Morning all.

I promise not to be grumpy this week. Well, not much. And I know what some of you are thinking. Here he goes again, complaining about the home shirt with the yellow streaks. Well you'd be right. I found this piece of blurb on the official website under the New Kit 09/10 section, accompanying the new home shirts:

This is the new Spurs Home Shirt for the season 2009/2010. This shirt merges traditional Spurs colours with a very modern and striking design. The white has been the main colour of Spurs kits since 1898, while yellow was worn by a multitude of Spurs hero's over the last 4 decades of the 20th century. This shirt is a true merger of the wonderful heritage of the club with a modern twist.

Merger? Modern twist? Please, do me a favour. Ok, let's translate:

This is the new Spurs Home Shirt for the season 2009/2010. Rather than keep with tradition and history we've decided to add a colour that has no place on the home shirt to create a lemon mousse tinge leaving us looking a like Leeds United. The white has been the main colour of Spurs kits since 1898, while yellow was worn by a multitude of Spurs players over the last 4 decades of the 20th century, on the away shirt because traditionally that’s the colour we wear away from home, thus making it the away shirt. We couldn't come up with anything creative so we thought we'd re-write the past.

But let's not fret.

I think it's been discussed enough now, and we all agree - the people who like it will buy it, the rest will prefer to look elsewhere (both away shirts are superior IMO).

But there's another choice.

Spurs have redeemed themselves with a sublime training top, which is far far superior to the home shirt design and would have made a perfect fit for it too. It's even got a little yellow on it, in far more inoffensive areas of the design. Would be even better without the yellow bits, but it's a training top, so it’s understandable why they've been included. Ironic that a training top actually has less yellow on it and in less prominent places than the home shirt does (damn that modern twist. I need to get me a flux capacitor and back out of the past).

Here it is:

Smart. Simplistic. Slick. Stylish. Spurs.

I'd actually consider buying this. Yes, you heard me right. It's a classy design with no need for dramatic unnecessary streaks or flashes. It's minimalistic. But it's definitively Tottenham.

And for a bit of pro-Spurs commentry here (to knock you off your seat), most of the 2009/10 training/tracksuit range are better than great. Well done to the club and Puma for that.

And that's that for now. Hopefully today and the rest of the week does not turn out to be another slow news day. Not long before the transfer window opens now...

Saturday Afternoon Round-Up: Sky Andrews can do one

Hello. Muggy weather today. Muggy headlines too. The one that has probably caught your attention is the rather dramatic headlines suggesting Spurs might be docked points for shady transfer dealings. Daily Mirror and The Sun are amongst several covering the story.

The Saint Sky Andrew, the paragon of truth personified in the form of a football agent, has won a high court ruling in his favour to cite phone records for evidence to establish whether several key people (Levy, Storrie, Redknapp) were contacted at any stage in the midst of the transfer that took Defoe to Portsmouth.

For those who don’t know, Jermain had sacked Andrews and was without an agent. Mitchell Thomas (unlicensed) acted as an adviser with Stuart Peters (rep from Spurs) helping the transfer on.

Ok, someone’s going to have to explain a few things to me here because I’m a little confused. What does this have to do with Spurs potentially having points deducted?

Andrews is upset that he was cut out of the deal. Wrongly cut out. Surely this is an issue between Defoe and his former agent. If payments by either Spurs of Pompey were made to anyone (legally) then the most probable reason Andrew didn’t get a penny was because Defoe sacked him before the deal happened. Am I missing something here?

I can’t say I understand the logistics of these types of dealings between clubs, with player + ‘representatives’ in the middle. If the underlining argument here is that Thomas is unlicensed and played a bigger part than he’s legally allowed – I still don’t get why Spurs are liable. The player was leaving Spurs and signing for Portsmouth. He played for them and not us after the deal was concluded. Sorry, pointing out the obvious there, but it seems to have been ignored by the press coverage.

Only two words come to mind. Sour grapes. Andrew was cut out and thus missed out on a cut. What's wrong Sky? You spunked all the millions you made from the deal that took Campbell across to the cesspit?

If anyone understands the complexities, please share.

Elsewhere...

Blackburn have been linked to Ruud van Nistlerooy. Gone a bit quiet hasn’t it, our raid on Madrid? Our interest in Ruud has cooled, and I heard whispers a day or so ago that Klass-Jan Huntelaar is being looked at by United. At least we can now all rest easy with the news that Cisse is on his way to Panathinaikos. That alone is worthy of cracking open the champagne and hiring out an escort girl for at the very least, two hours. The news that Daniel Levy wants at least £18M for Darren Bent will spoil the party and have you rolling up your sleeve and tapping a vein.

Now I know that the transfer market has turned into a complete joke in recent times and we are just as guilty as one or two other clubs for paying out over inflated fees. We did it with Bent in the first place bringing him to the Lane for £16M. Then again, maybe we shouldn’t panic too much. Anything you read anywhere should be taken with a pinch of salt. I guess if Sunderland want £20M for Jones then Bent’s value is more near the £25M mark. In reality, £10M – £12M for Bent is more likely (he’ll score a bundle for a club that will accommodate him). Jones isn’t worth more than £6M and I pray Harry keeps well clear.

The alleged Huddlestone bids have been rejected, allegedly. I’m so glad we have clarity on that. Spurs are refusing to sell him. Using the ITK formula to create insight, this means either we are playing hard-ball and want more for him than the £8M offered or we rate him and simply won’t sell. Thank me later for setting that one straight.

Changed your mind on the yellow-flashed home shirt yet?

Over 2000 people have signed the petition. Club don’t care, and I guess neither do I as long as we do well on the pitch. But the point being made (by myself and the 2000) is that we dislike the yellow streaks. Its feedback being offered to the club, much like when they send us surveys by e-mail about what we might think about the idea of having Tarquin seats installed at the club. We are simply having a say.

Finally, we are in pole position for Bassong. He’s the ‘player to join Spurs’ player of the week. It's the second time he's been on the rotation. Tinged with irony this one. Mainly because he is yet another ‘player of the moment’ type of signing that we do so very very well with being linked with. And £15M is the bog-standard Levy approved offer that works like magic when we desperately want someone (Bentley the key example).

Only exception to the rule has been Palacios who has looked every bit a £14M player. Modric too. And Bassong did look tasty last season, but then again, so would I at the heart of Newcastle’s defence when surrounded by so many hopeless teammates.

Do do do...Nigel Reo-Zokora

Afternoon.

This is one of those 'what I'm currently reading' type of blog posts. I like to share the wealth.

Who: HoofHarted
Date: 25 June 2009
Site: COYS

The Transfer Windows opens next Wednesday.

I can confirm there will be activity at THFC within the first week, both players arriving and players leaving.

I am not going to name, names, in case of jeopardising any potential deal, except to say most of the names have already been mentioned on here.

- The most important piece of ITK info this week (so far), collected in a thread over at GG.co.uk with various other gems. Also, expect tomorrow to arrive at some point soon. Keep an eye out for the moon followed by the sun.

"For Tottenham, it is a fixture of far greater significance, a match against a key rival that, over the years, has emerged from Tottenham's shadow and started to stake a claim to replace them as London's third biggest club"

- The Games Gone Crazy, a West Ham United blog about Tottenham, talking about the rivarly between us and the 'ammers. Bless. I'm not going to link to the article or the blog. You can easily find it in amongst the Tottenham News Now listings.

"Sadly for Arsenal fans, their club haven’t been able to sustain the success they enjoyed as our rivals, failing to win back to back titles under Wenger and reaching just one European Cup final. They have been “in transition” since 2005, like United were, however they haven’t managed to develop out of this period yet"

- The Republik of Mancunia tells it how it is. Transitional Arsenal? Alas, they have no need to fret. They have the kids. You know the kids, right? They had them last year and the year before and the year prior to that one. In fact they always have the kids. I'd expect to find Peter Pan playing in their academy side, kidnapped from Never Never land and now living in Never Again land.

Zing.

"Tottenham want Reo-Coker?! Is that official or supposed ITK's? It saddens me to say as I really thought he would go far but he is an English version of Zokora. He had so much potential when he burst onto the scene - the fact he captained every club he played for, especially us at his age shows that - but he has just never kicked on like he should of. Majorly frustrating when you see him make an unbelievable tackle inside his own box, power his way past the opposition three quarters of the way up the field and let himself down with a wayward 10 yard pass. If he can't do it now, I don't think he ever will"

- The progression of Harry Redknapps side discussed here, including some decent insight from an almost decent West Ham fan concering the rumours of Reo-Coker signing for Spurs. You can't see me, but I'm shuddering.

Glory comes in three colours....with a touch of yellow

Morning all.

As you will no doubt have seen, the kits have been launched with a rather snazzy presentation on the official site. No surprise that the leaked designs have turned out to be spot on. Drum roll....

If it was not for the yellow bits, this would easily qualify as one of the smartest home shirts for a long time.

Not too shabby. Yellow on blue isn't that bad. But again, its unnecessary.

I have utterly no idea what the lines/track marks are meant to be on the side, but regardless - it's a decent shirt.

So that's that. The people who like it will buy it (the home shirt). The people who don't wont. No doubt, as long as we are winning, we can be playing in white bin bags for all I care, and I'll be more than content. It's just a shame that some fruit-cake thought it best to add those streaks in.

How about a nice limited edition all white home shirt for the purists?

COYS and all that jazz.

What if Daniel Levy actually replied to one of my letters?

With the deepest heart felt apologies to Eminem and his trademark "Stan" track which tells a story of an obsessed fan who writes to the rapper without (initially) receiving a reply.

Chorus: (Harry Redknapp)

Juande's tapas has gone cold and I'm wondering why..
he got two points from eight games
The morning rain clouds up his window and still..
two points from eight games
And then he's sacked and I take over
put my picture on the wall
It reminds me, that I'm so great,
I'm so great..


[Spooky]
Dear Mr Levy, I wrote but you still ain't callin
I left my mobile, my email, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in May, along with an effigy you must not have got 'em
There probably was a problem with security or the postmen
Sometimes they just throw out my parcels when I drop them
But anyways; fuck it, what's happening dude? How's the ground re-development going?
I can't wait for the new eco stadium, gonna leave us all crowing
So what you up to at the minute? Should we expect to sign Downing?
I'm only joking, if we sign him I think I might cry and consider drowning
I'd rather stick my head up my arse and taste my own browning
Can we not try and sign someone else instead?
Ashley Young would be better than having myself ending up dead
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I even hide out in your garden in the shrubbery and watch you tan
I got a room full of your photos and pictures that I took
I like the old work you did with ENIC too, that shit was off the hook
Anyways, I hope you get this, and mail me back,
Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan, let's talky
This is Spooky


Chorus: (Harry Redknapp)


[Spooky]
Dear Mr Levy, you still ain't called or wrote, does your PA never take a sodding note?
I ain't mad - I just think it's FUCKED UP you don't answer your phone
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside the Lane,
you didn't have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for Damien
That's my little effigy, he looks just like the Frenchman
We waited at the West Stand entrance for you in the rain,
four hours and you just passed us leaving us in pain
That's pretty shitty man - just like Pavlyuchenko
If you don’t sell him and that useless Bent I swear I'll go flipping mental
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like being lied to
Remember when we met at the AGM - you said if I'd write you
you would write back - see I'm just like you in a way
I never rated Martin Jol neither, he was Dutch decay;
he used to always choke in the big games and we'd always get slay
I can relate to what you're saying in your match-day notes
So when I have a shitty day, I drift away and read them to myself
Cause I don't really have much else other than a blog and twitter to help me when depressed
I even got a tattoo of your face across my chest
Sometimes I even shave my head to see how good it looks
It's like adrenaline, the shine is such a sudden rush for me
See everything you say is real in those official statements and I respect you cause you tell it
Other blogs and forums are just jealous cause I talk about you 24/7
But they don't know you like I know you Dan, no one does
It's not your fault David Bentleys lost his buzz
You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Spooky -- P.S.
We should share a bagel soon


Chorus: (Harry Redknapp)


[Spooky]
Dear Mister-You're-Gonna-Get-My-Burning-Season-Ticket-Thrown-At-Your-Door,
this'll be the last fucking effigy I ever send your arse, it's war!
It's been Christ knows how long and still no word - I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters;
I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect…Bill Nick Way 748 High Street
So this is my mobile phone recording I'm sending you, I hope you see and hear it
I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the High Street
Hey Daniel, I drank ten cans of Holsten, you dare me to drive?
You know the song by Chas'n'Dave, "Ossies Dream"
About that guy who's knees go all trembly on his way to Wembley?
And Ricky scored that goal in the replay and we won?
That's kinda how this is, you could have played a blinder and rescued me from drowning
Why the fuck do you persist in wanting Stewart Downing?
Now it's too late - I'll even buy the new yellow streaked home shirt, even if its fucking lousy
and all I wanted was a letter or a call
I hope you know I ripped ALL of your naked pictures off my bedroom wall
You're not keeping an eye on Harry, he re-signed Chimbonda, think about it,
you ruined it for everyone now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
and when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you SCREAM about it
I hope your conscience EATS AT YOU and you can't BREATHE about it. Why did we sign him, when we can live without him?
See Daniel; {*screaming*}
Shut up bitch! I'm trying to talk!
Hey Daniel, that's Chirpy screamin in the trunk
But he ain't too good, I dropped an Opus on his head
Cause a hostage ain't a hostage if he's completely dead,
Well, gotta go, I think I'm almost at the Spurs Shop now
Oh shit, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this shit out?


{*car tires squeal*} {*CRASH*}
.. {*brief silence*} .. {*Police siren in the distance*}


Chorus: (Harry Redknapp)


[Daniel Levy]
Dear Spooky, I meant to write you sooner but I've been quite busy
I'm glad you like the stadium plans, it will make the gooners dizzy
Look, I'm really flattered you spend so much time outside the ground
and here's an autograph from Robbie Keane, he's sound
He wrote it on a programme
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the Lane, I must have missed you
Don't think I did that intentionally just to disrespect you
But what's this stuff about your little effigy?
I say that's just slightly off-key
Come on now - you don't want yourself banned and have to plea
You got some issues Spooky, I think you need some counselling
To help I'll put your name down in the raffle for an Opus, you're bound to win
And what's the issue about us signing Stewart Downing?
That type of attitude makes me not want us to meet each other
I really think you need to stop being so damn bitter
Because with Stewart we are purchasing box-office glitter
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time before you hurt yourself,
I think that you'll be doing just fine, if you relax a little,
I'm glad I inspire you but Spooky why are you so confused?
Try to understand, stop throwing frozen shit pellets from afar
And I don't want you handcuffing yourself naked to my car
I watched this one bloke on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some bloke in N17 was drunk and drove his car into a wall of bricks
Had a man dressed as a chicken tied up in the trunk,
And in the car they found his phone with a video message he made, but they didn't say who it was to
Come to think about, his name was.. it was you
Phew!

Robbie Keane off on 'loan' again?

Morning. If you frequent the Tottenham message boards and various other blogs, including this one, you'll know that there's been this pesky little rumour about Robbie Keane being unhappy. It changes from one day to the next. Apparently he wants out, then he doesn't (its exaggerated) then he does again. Others disapprove citing the fact that he has recently become a father again and that moving all the way up to Sunderland is simply out of the question. I'm more curious as to the reason (behind the sad face). Does he feel that having returned from the his shattered Anfield dream that he is somehow tainted back at Spurs? It doesn't quite feel the same as it did before? If you believe he is off, you might also believe he has a clause in his contract that states he has to play every game (and not get subbed).

I don't know. Personally don't want to believe this is true. I like him and regardless of the fact that he did not shine as bright as he did for us before he moved to Liverpool, he was still instrumental in that initial upsurge of determination that got us out of trouble.

If he is genuinely unhappy and he only ever returned to us because we offered him the only viable escape route at the time, then it's all a bit of a mess and the depression might be partly down to him knowing deep down he should never have left int he first place.

From pure football logistics, the reason why we might consider selling him is that Keane returning to Spurs was a little on the panic side of things. Redknapp prefers Defoe, or at least a player of his ilk, partnered up with a big tall striker. So Harry might simply decide that there is no room for the both of them. Something Spurs fans have always argued (the two little men can't play together).

I guess we sit back and wait for the 'Crouch to Spurs' rumours to hit the message boards.

Just say no to the new 'yellow' Spurs shirt

Ok, so basically, it’s turning into a little bit like Jermaine Jenas. You either love it or hate it. The Marmite factor has once more hit us straight in the face, and in a few days time it will spread outwards from N17 costing you around £40 or so for the privilege of bad taste.

Mock-up of leaked Spurs shirt - Courtesy of Evolution on SC

I’m obviously talking about our new home kit, the one with the yellow streaks. I’m not buying all this ‘yellow is part of our heritage’ crap. Ok, it is, but should not be part of a home shirt which traditionally is all white. It's bad enough reading all the 'Never Red' statements from the club only to have to put up with the red of Mansion bang in the middle of the shirt. And now someone with no sense of understanding has deemed it appropriate to add in the yellow bits. Ironically, people will buy the shirt regardless of what it looks like. It’s the loyalty thing messing with your mind. You weak weak people.

Just say no.

There’s a petition here. Sign it. Let the revolution begin.

For anyone who thinks this is a pointless waste of time (which I guess it will be considering the shirt has probably already gone to ‘print’) then browse away now. The rest of you can also protest simply by not purchasing the shirt. Although, to be honest, I haven't bought a home shirt for around 4 years now. I guess dressing myself up as a footballer in a replica shirt is something I've always found to be a tad silly. As for anyone with kids, have a word. Get 'em a classic ageless replica shirt instead.

It’s possible (but unlikely) that it will grow on me and I will look back on this in embarrassment. I can live with being wrong. I'm gonna hazard a guess it will never grow on me.

All things in perspective, things could have been a lot worse.

A lot lot worse.

Newcastle United, thanks again for cheering me up.

2009/2010 Tottenham Summer Transfer Sweepstake

Day 29 since the end of the season. And still absolutely nothing has happened. This is becoming a weekly ritual and I apologise if I'm beginning to sound like a broken record. I guess I'm anxiously waiting to see one piece of ITK info leaked online hours before a transfer happens, so that we can all sit back knowingly knowing that we knew it was going to happen before it actually (officially) happened. But this is a little bit like expecting Zokora to hit the target. It's crazy talk, sheer crazy talk.

I'm afraid to say it's all gone a little Big Brother on us. Couple of million people watching, nothing going on and no signs of any new housemates.

There is of course the cute distraction of the Confederations Cup, which has provided some light-hearted entertainment. But I can't take any tournament that makes Robinho look world-class seriously.

So instead, all we can do is speculate and read between the lines. Just like last week and the week before that. Cue a quick round-up...

Plenty of air miles covered with Levy out in Madrid. Although why he was out there is uncertain to most. Was it to speak to Real Madrid about their available players for transfers (or loans)? Was it conduct talks with Sevilla over the transfer of Zokora (yes, I know my geography, but maybe their reps travelled to meet him). Only thing that's happened is that Didier for the minute isn't going to La Liga, thanks to our overpriced evaluation. Comolli rated him because of his engine and athleticism and some how missed the lack of the all important first touch and passing qualities during his scouting missions. Which is a little like watching The Deer Hunter and calling it an excellent movie, disregarding that never-ending wedding scene that for me wrecked the whole experience. Ok, that analogy sucked but I've been wanting for an outlet to slag off the Deer Hunter for a while now and I'm going to take it. Apart from the Russian roulette scenes its shit. It's just not that great a movie. There are better options out there.

Moving on.

It's gone quiet on Ashley Young too. And no news on Bent to Sunderland. Huddlestone is still with us, and his moment in the spotlight last week was when a photo-shopped photo of him sporting a gut and holding a McDonalds takeaway bag (standing topless alongside Lennon and others in a holiday snapshot) found itself the centre-piece of a Daily Mail article that pointed out that it was more than likely a fake. Cheers for that. I desperately found myself needing confirmation.

Elsewhere, I can still only find circumstantial evidence that Pascal Chimbonda is a Spurs player, and I'm waging it will be proved for certain when he's sold and we get the money from the transfer fee. Reckon that would qualify as hard evidence that he is (was) a player under contract with the club. Until then, we live in darkness. Gomes is happy at WHL, and why not? He rammed all the negatives back down the throats of the critics so long may his good form continue.

Roman is also hanging around according to his agent who told everyone last week he was going but apparently it was one of those zany mis-quote interviews and thus, the player is actually content at Spurs. Can't say the same for this time next Monday. Talking of mis-quotes, nothing much on Bentley over the weekend and no apology from The Sun over their alleged fabricated interview which according to someone who was with David, he (Bentley) never gave the interview. Controversy. Which is neither here or there because as discussed last week, he will probably end up at Villa anyhow.

But when? When will we dance a jig of joy and punch the air upon hearing the news that there's a new Lilywhite? Considering there are just a few days to go before the club unveil the new yellow on white home kits, we'd going to need a hefty piece of good news to help with equilibrium and avoid unrest.

So with the continuing lull, it's sweepstake time. I don't have anything to give away, although if you happen to hit the right day and right player, you'll be able to buzz off the fumes for a week thanks to the prestige bestowed upon you.

When will Tottenham Hotspur announce their first summer signing? Date and time and players name.

I'm pencilling in the 3rd July as the day of glory. Player? Huntelaar. Time? Around 5pm.

First player to be sold? Me thinks Bent, on the 1st July to Sunderland, 10pm.

Let the games begin...

60% majority stake sold - But who is it?

Morning all. Choke on your coco-pops time:

Sheikh Ahmed bin Saqr al-Qassimi, member of a ruling family in the United Arab Emirates, has bought a majority stake in an unnamed Premier League club.

Sheikh Ahmed, a member of the ruling family Ras al-Khaimah, will be honorary chairman of the club.

Ras al-Khaimah is one of seven members in the UAE federation which also includes key oil producer Abu Dhabi and regional trade and tourism hub Dubai. (WAM news agency)

It's a 60% stake apparently. Honorary chairman means someone else (Levy?) will remain in charge of day to day business. Other reports cite a 'leading Premier club'. Which could mean it's possibly Everton, West Ham or even Fulham. Pompey is the more obvious link being made by others because of their prior attempted dealings.

If this happens, and it turns out to be Spurs I think I might need therapy to recover.

Going down this route is not something I wish for. I'm a little more traditional.

The Ballad of Zokora

If there is a moment that sums up Didier Zokora it's the run from midfield in the Carling Cup final against Chelsea. The run that should have ended with a goal, which would have put us 2-1 down. The run that had every Spurs fan in Wembley and at home or in the pub looking up to the heavens for an answer. Storming forward with the goal in sight, he smacked the ball with absolutely no direction. Hearts in mouth, followed by heads in hands. I just smiled reminded myself that the end product of a Zoko glory moment always ends up in row Z. But as much as I should hate the bloke for his rush of blood to the head incompetence, I can't.

Maybe it's the infectious smile. Or the after game dance, jigging up and down for the Park Lane. Or the fact that even though he has the discipline of a virgin on Viagra in a brothel his determination and effort could never be doubted. It's unfortunate that he wasn't as good a footballer as he was an athlete. But then, all footballer are (meant to be) athletes, so what we got with Didier was a player that was unable to fill a void left by the departed Carrick. The lack of that ever-so important footballing brain.

Its more so frustrating because there are certain players you want to see succeed more than others. Didier is one of these types of players. Honest to the bone in effort. At the Lane we've had far too many apologetic players in recent years. Players who are loved and hated. Players that always have excuses made for them by the ones that are hoping they see the person in question improve and prove the others wrong. Jenas is the most cited. But Zoko has far more in common with a certain Steffan Freund. An absolute legend of a personality, if lacking a polished touch. For all their hustle and bustle neither ever found the net for Spurs.

Zokora cost us £8M. And rather than take the game by the scruff of the neck in central midfield, he struggled to assert himself. Much like one of his locomotive runs, there was never any discipline or composure. Stick him into the right back position (or even left back) and it was like watching a Zen version of the same player. Calm, controlled and focused.

But alas, he is a central midfielder and when you compare him to Wilson Palacios your hope and aspirations to see the lad make it at Tottenham disappear faster than you can say 'no first touch'.

He's a decent bloke who quite obviously loves playing football and loves playing for Tottenham. He connected with the crowd (usually with a long range shot) and gave it his best. Unfortunately his best isn't quite good enough. Hopefully he does end up at Sevilla rather than a club in the Prem, because I don't know whether I could handle him scoring against us. Which you know would happen in one of those ridiculous footballing moments of oh my gosh irony.

Didier, wherever you ply your trade. Good luck and all the best.

Zoko running with the ball through the middle, down the wing or from the back,
Park Lane faithful, please close your eyes and pray to the Gods for a slice of good luck,
Because the swerving ball will probably hit you hard in the face if do not quickly duck,
But do not fret and do not curse,
For Zokos smile and jig will nurse,
He dances up and down which you can't help but love because he thinks he's so cool,
And as you leave the ground you'll find yourself singing all the way to the pub...Do do do.