Fix up, look sharp

Okay hands up. Who's bricking it?

It's Bolton. It's at the Lane, it's imperative, must-do, must-not-fail, a do or die game with the pressure completely on us leaving Bolton to play anyway they wish to, party popper hats on head if they want to dress up for the occasion. But fear should not be a factor in all this. It should be embraced and approached with the same type of focused tactical guile we showed against Arsenal but with us forcing the issue, then dictate the tempo and push forwards with some of the style and swagger displayed against Chelsea. No room for under-achievement (as seen at OT).

This, ladies and gentlemen, is business time. Final home game of the season. And it's been a roaring success for Harry Redknapp, with his continued galvanisation of the club. Just three more steps to go before we reach the door (key under the mat) needing a gentle unlock and push to open wide, gatecrashing the party, pissing in the plant pots and proceeding to scare the shit out of the hosts. I'm bored of the timid games of knock-down ginger.

Since the Cup semi-final defeat, I've persistently quoted 'to dare is to do' and it has never been better illustrated and performed than the two London derby games which gave us the 6 points that have kept us in this race, because let's face it, anything less and we'd have been out of it.

Spurs choke? Spurs bottle it? I guess when we are underdogs and not expected to win, we ooze the right balance of spirit and belief to upset the odds. The question marks have always been whether we can do the same when expectations are high. There was hype surrounding our game against United and we came unstuck.

We're expected to win tomorrow. Mancini is at it (kidology) saying how 5th would be fine for his side. And mathematically, even Liverpool could steal into 4th if results go their way. And Villa, out of nowhere, are a serious threat. All eyes on us.

And I guess that's why some of you are also bricking it a little too. Because it's in our hands, which makes it ours to lose. It's only natural to be nervous. Bad enough when it's just a bog standard match, let alone one that involves a priceless set of three points.

Bricking aside, I'm still well up for this. Everyone is. 12th man and all that. The players are equally passionate about what's at stake. You look at them and you believe in them more than at any other stage in recent years. The noise inside WHL has to be epic, regardless of the fact that the Bolton fans will have all travelled down together on a single skateboard.

The City game on Wednesday is massive, right? Wrong. It's not important. I don't care for that game. Only Bolton should be in our mindset. The immediate future is the only priority. The priority being this: Take all three points and be damned with the rest of the world. They all want us to fail, they all expect us to fail. Facebook is relying on the traffic. So buckle up, take your Imodium, and sing until your lungs give out. Get through this one, worry about mid-week during mid-week when priorities have moved on.

Carpe Diem Cras. Thought we could do with a different Latin soundbite to replace the usual dumb down English translation that tends to make an appearance round about now.

So fix up, look sharp. And make 'em dizzy.

COYS.

Retro

Remember that retroish Spurs shirt that turned up a while back and did the rounds in the blogsphere via this out of focus photograph?

Well, looks like it might be genuine (click on the above image for the evidence).

Look ma! No yellow streaks! Wooooooooooooo!!!

Here we go again

So, Modric. 4 years left on a 6 year contract. He'll cost Man Utd big. Let's say £40M non-inclusive of any additional payments made to charity and a fair price if you consider his age compared to Berbatov when he was sold to United and the fact Levy will do his utmost to drive the cost of the transfer up a few more million just before deadline day.

Add another £25M into the mix for Gareth Bale, again to the super-rich Man Utd. Keep on waving those green and gold scarves. And then there's the unquestionable £35M+ for Lennon to Man City and it's happy days down at the Lane. We could also try flogging Dawson to Liverpool, on the cheap, for let's say £16M. Because they're also well minted.

Have I missed anyone out? Oh yeah, Keane to Wolves, £500K. That should give us plenty for the war chest.

Here's hoping Daniel mentions Messi in his programme notes this weekend.

Just Given my thoughts...

We could discuss all day the ethics of signing a keeper on an emergency loan when you already have nine goalkeepers on your books and four available even when the rules apparently cite that when you're down to just two, you can draft in a replacement. Which isn't relevant here because City have four and still signed ex-Spurs player Marton Fulop.

Yes yes, the FA Premier League are looking after their chosen son to replace Liverpool in the Top 4, permitting and aiding them to recover some form of stability with Given's absence due to injury blah blah blah. And this is surely the crux of it, the crux having gone missing in all the musings and disapprovals.

The crux being, City no longer have Given between the sticks. Anything less than Given is already a bonus to any side facing them. Even more important is the fact that we still haven't played Bolton at home and acquired the three points that would take the potential for St Totteringham's Day forward to the penultimate game of the season...at Eastlands and hopefully avoided altogether going into the final away day of the 2010 season at Burnley.

So how about we all stop bitching about the injustice, smash Bolton to bits and then concern ourselves about City's outfield players and what potential damage they might do to us whilst posing them several questions with Modric (crafting), Bale (beasting) and Lennon (dinking) asking away and hopefully leaving Mancini's men with no time to answer.

COYFS.

Okay, yeah?

The future's bright, the future is still Lilywhite

What's that now? 68 games away from home against top 4 sides leaving us with a bitter taste of regret in mouth? Hindsight is a wonderful thing and I'm thinking I should embrace the fact that Wilson has not been great this season and we should have shown balls and kept the same line-up without having to shuffle players for the sake of over-cleverness. Even though I did think we'd be 'ok' if we did just that.

BAE at right-back, uncomfortable and out of sorts. Bale at left-back, almost felt like he'd been gagged and tied to a chair. Safe to say that Hudd/Moddle in the middle with BAE left-back and Bale left-wing should be our line-up for the remaining games. But don't fret, I'm not about to knee-jerk. We got it wrong. But take away two stupid clumsy defending errors (the two pens) and the roll-out of the red carpet for Nani (three errors then) and things might have been different. Even with the changes in line-up.

Though I still feel we didn't show half as much guile as we should of. Not disgraced, but all a bit of a limp effort in the end. We didn't give the occasion the swagger it deserved. But then it was by no means looking (from either side) to shape up into the classic game most (wanted) expected. On the bright side, Azza is back amongst us. King is a frigging freak of nature. And Bale is best played offensively.

We should have played football, taken the game to them. To dare is to f*cking do, right? I cited state of mind in my match preview. But perspective please. It was United. Perhaps not a storming version of Ferguson's men what with Rooney up in a box, but if you're going to make mistakes, you don't make them in their patch - especially when they have a title at stake.

So, six points from nine then? You simply cannot be disappointed with that, considering that few expected us to win even one of the three, let alone two of them. Makes you think that before we entered the month of April, only the insane (me) would have stated 'we will finish 4th' - considering our fixture list compared to others.

City drew at the Emirates (Zzzzz). Villa and Liverpool both won. This chase for fourth spot continues to twist and turn. Although nothing much has changed this past weekend other than the important footnote for all sides involved; that one more defeat will spell the end.

City v Villa will be the one to watch as it will no doubt shape the tension for our visit there. We first need to avoid the banana skin of complacency when Bolton visit the Lane.

So what next?

Spurs - Bolton home, City away, Burnley away
Villa - City away, Blackburn home
City - Villa home, Spurs home, West Ham away
Liverpool - Chelsea home, Hull away

Spurs 35 played, 64 points - 3 games max 9 points - 73 pts max
Villa 36 played, 64 points - 2 games max 6 points - 70 pts max
City 35 played, 63 points - 3 games max 9 points - 72 pts max
Liverpool 36 played, 62 points - 2 games max 6 points - 68 pts max

We may have failed to conquer our Old Trafford demons, but redemption awaits. It's in our hands. We have shown grit and heart and style through-out the season to continually remain up top in the mix. With every hiccup, we down a glass of cold water, and crow.

Bolton (H) - We need to be professional. Focused. The Lane has to rock in the same manner it did against the red and blue scum. We simply have to dismantle them and apply the pressure on the other contenders. As noted, pick up and bin that banana skin.

City (A) - Cup final day. The £30M+ game. Potentially. The irony that things might work out that City have to win at West Ham on the final day of the season to finish 4th is tinged with the type of irony that would see a new statue built outside Upton Park to commemorate the occasion. Tevez scoring the winner would have the home support cheering louder than the travelling City fans. And then there's the irony of us playing away to Burnley (same colours as WH). Shades of 2006 all over again. If City and Villa score-draw (if if if), a win at City's patch and it's done and dusted (as long as another 3 points is collected).

Burnley (A) - Relegated. If we failed to win here (no disrespect to their club and fans) we don't deserve to finish 4th.

So all this is easily simplified... Just beat Bolton and City and it wouldn't matter what the other sides do, it wouldn't be enough for them.

So all you crazies, keep the faith.

And keep on believing.

Bucking the trend, the Tottenham way

Another game live on television, another game against a 'top 4' side, another potential club DVD release in the making.

Spurs away to Manchester United. The Theatre of Illusions. Illusions usually comprising of us looking like we might do something positive and complete and then capitulating, mostly in cartoon fashion thanks to a decision that was forged in the Imaginarium of Doctor Webb. It's a conspiracy they cry. What about the Mendes goal, as tears are wiped from face. It's tiresome now. Much like losing to Chelsea was once upon a time a bore. And much like going 20 odd league games without a win against Woolwich.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes (turn and face the strain).

We got brushed aside by Utd earlier this season, and ignoring last seasons OTT OT experience, we either tend to do well against them but never win at home (Tevez last second anyone?) and flatter to deceive away. It's the last remaining curse that needs ending. Less said about the Carling Cup game up there the better. That type of performance has to be avoided at all costs because it will leave most of us tragically empty.

No matter how you look at this fixture, pound-for-pound, it's a test on so many levels. We've beaten Arsenal and Chelsea, so all eyes on Tottenham because some are expecting to see us continue our good form and upset the Champions. Some (Chelsea) need us to. Others see United as the ones under pressure because they simply cannot afford to lose, which means an early Spurs goal could make it cagey for them (although if it stays at 1-0 deep into the second half we'll still have to score another three goals to be certain of a point once we enter Fergie-Time at the end of the 90 minutes). Harry is also under the spotlight. Tactically, he has been on the money in the past two games and the side have been galvanised with renewed belief and confidence. He wasn't meant to be good enough to out-wit the 'Big boys'. Fergie will no doubt attempt to stop us from playing. How they handle Modric and Bale will be of much interest and how Harry plans to counter any Fergie counters will be equally interesting. One thing about United is they work hard. We'll have to match that. And there's the Berbatov equation to consider. He tends to do alright against us. But arguably both sides have match-winners.

My panties are soaked in anticipation.

I understand the mathematics. With City the main threat, Villa should also not be discounted either. And as mentioned in prior weeks, defeat will not be a disaster (just remember everyone's predictions before we played the red and blue scum). But a point or more would/could demoralise our competition. And if Arsenal and Wenger, hurting badly, look to reclaim some of their lost self-respect against Adebayor and friends - the calculator will be hot with the pushing of buttons. But to be honest, I'd rather City thrash Arsenal and we beat United and then City when we play them and take 4th that way. The closer we get to the red scum the better. As long as we believe in ourselves and not the hype.

I'm not going to attempt to second guess Harry with tactics or selection. Palacios is back, he might play. He probably should but that could see Bale return to left-back and Modric to left-wing blah blah blah. Regardless of the who's and where's (Lennon super-sub back on the bench?) one thing we have proven this season is that we can mix-it up. The players have a decent (more then decent) comprehension of what it means to push for it. 'It' being progress and success. Success at the moment, measured in the way of proving to ones self that we are worthy of our position and worthy of more.

The players have a taste for it. A winning mentality. Only the brave can dare to push on further and continue the feast.

So, this club, this Lilywhite majesty of swagger and grit. Stand up, stand tall, be proud. And just go for it. Go for their jugular and use any obstacle or injustice as inspiration to punish them back. No textbook white flag of surrender. No apologetic here we go again looks. No turning of heads back towards yesterday.

What's happened has happened and can't be changed. The future is crafted by the hands (well, the feet in this case) of the ones who dare to control their own destiny. United are masters of it. This won't be easy. And most would agree, historically, out of the three 'horror' fixtures in April - this was the one we sort of expected to get nothing out of. Most of us didn’t think we'd get more than two points from the previous two. We're six up.

Don't worry or concern yourselves with the negatives when the positives are so much easier to embrace.

Buck. The. Trend.

To dare is to do. COYS.


Update on Friday, April 23, 2010 at 3:36PM by spooky

The excellent 'The Republik of Mancunia' has an interview up with little old me talking Spurs v Utd. Check it out. Click here to read it.

For a Reds match preview, read this.

FAO Daniel Levy

Ignoring the textbook media reports in the build up to Saturday's game that Manchester United are going to be looking at signing Gareth Bale in the summer for £20M (LOL), I'll further ignore delving deep into commentary over this 'rumour' and the subsequent discussions arising on both Spurs and Utd forums about the young Welsh monkey-God. Other than pointing out the success of Berbatov and Carrick since their departures. Both decent players. But both undervalued (it would seem) by many United fans. Although Bale is something quite different from these two and United were interested in the lad before we signed him. I suspect others will also knock on our door and wave money in our faces.

I'll get straight to the concluding point.

Gareth Bale. New Contract. Make it happen. Now.

Daniel, please make this summer a Tottenham Foundation contribution free summer*.

*Please feel free to make a contribution if you're not in anyway associated with Manchester United, Manchester City, Liverpool etc etc

A proper wtf transfer moment

So. Let me get this right. Pompey owe Spurs money (£1M) for a player that never actually signed and played for us because he rejected the deal. This is thanks, apparently, to a sell-on clause that was part of a two player deal to bring Begovic (the player in question) and Kaboul. You still following? The latter signed, the former went to Stoke instead.

So to clarify. We are owed one million pounds (little finger to edge of mouth) for a player who did not agree to complete the deal his club and Spurs shook hands on.

Two things.

1) Portsmouth. I guess this was Harry's doing, right? Right? Massive epic fail.

2) Daniel Levy. Genius.

Insanity that laughs in the face of logic, then rips its face off and wears it as a scarf. It's a bit like Liverpool purchasing Robbie Keane for £20.3M and us taking him back for £12M. Madness, just madness.

Oh wait up...

Update on Thursday, April 22, 2010 at 9:20AM by spooky

Update time.

Spurs have spoken: http://www.tottenhamhotspur.com/news/articles/club-statement-220410.html

Ah, now that feels better, doesn't it?

To dream the impossible dream

4th spot is still up for grabs and mathematically there are still plenty of sides left in with a shout. Regardless of what twists and turns remain to be played out this season - anyone positively excited by the continued evidence of mental strength and belief within the squad?

Of course you are.

We've had key player(s) missing through-out the entirety of the season. We've at times been pessimistic (a consequence of the past) when the likes of King or Lennon have sat on the sidelines, and yet we have dug deep and shown intent and ambition. Everytime we think Harry and the side are about to tune into another episode of 'One foot in the grave', we change the channel back to 'It ain't half hot mum'. The remote control, firmly in our hands, and no longer lost behind the sofa.

I like this new-improved Tottenham. It's young yet has calm, focused heads, maturing through-out the season, but still knows how to sex it up when required. It's all about the confidence. We'll be playing naked soon, in transparent shirts and shorts.

Keep shaking your junk Spurs.

Gomes, Dawson, Bassong, BAE, Corulka, Bale, Modric, Huddlestone, Lennon, Kranjcar, Palacios, Defoe, Pavlyuchenko. Add the bionic-cameo King to the mix and there's a solid backbone to the side. One that is quietly understanding that the comfort zone of yesterday, the one that Michael Carrick famously refereed to, is no longer an acceptable place to sit snoozing in. Players have overcome personal demons and erratic form and have thus united in spirit.

The arguments about still requiring a talismanic forward (think Berbatov without the sulk) will continue to be discussed. Along with various for/against opinions on the likes of Defoe, Crouch and Pav and the fact we don't bury half the chances we create. Others still remain uncertain about Huddlestone. There are tactical quirks on whether Modric is better suited to the left or the middle and if he plays left does that mean Bale slots into left-back with BAE on the bench? Or should the BAE/Bale marauding act continue with Moddle in the middle alongside Huddlestone. Or Wilson. Or Sandro (next season). Dawson continues to make up for what he lacks with pace, with 100% commitment and desire. England? Why the heck not. Bassong, an unsung hero of sorts, growing in stature with every game. You almost forget about the fallacy that we are meant to be crap without Ledley and when he does play you remember just how great of a player he is, and it's 'ok' that he only plays once a month or so.

All analysis aside, the fact remains, the team is in the battle for fourth and our reaction to the semi-final loss has been one of unequivocally togetherness. That's not just the players, but the fans at the Lane - who have played a massive part in the belief process that is required to play out during the past two league games.

Sure, there have been knee-jerks. Losing 3-1 to Sunderland hurt and it's quite expected that some people reacted with the most negative of reactions. Although it's equally apparent that it's exaggerated tenfold in a positive fashion when we win. But nobody can argue about the manner of the victories against the red and blue scum. It's credit long time coming.

Other's have remained loyal to their beliefs and continue to suggest that Harry is still not the right man for the job (the logic here that a better manager would get even more out of this side - although surely stability is the key that we've never bothered to use to unlock that Champions League door?).

So massive group hug everyone? Pat on the back. Well deserved all-round, no?

United away on Saturday will be far more difficult that the last two games. Mainly because Harry has to try and second guess what Fergie might do in order to congest the midfield and stop the likes of Bale and Modric from playing. Unless Harry has already considered the possible tactic from Ferguson and...you get the gist. It's going to be tight.

We could get away with a point. A defeat wouldn't end our season or damage the remaining run-in because we have proven we are not a soft touch. Unless of course André Marriner (the ref for Saturday) is replaced by a bot, remote controlled by Howard Webb who then proceeds to award United a penalty after a foul near the corner-flag to change the course of the game in their favour and then we concede an extra three goals because that's tradition.

Heads down, emotionally drained, wearing our 'plucky loser' hats again? Thanks but no thanks.

It's a tiresome excuse. Although arguably we've not been helped by the standard of refereeing in the past, in the face of diversity, we should be inspired to right the wrongs. No more psychological capitulations. We owe it to ourselves to get past this challenge as another gauge of just how far we've come and how far left we have to journey.

United have to win to keep the pressure on and their title dream alive. We have to win, to compound the pressure on the teams directly below us. Palacios will be available. Lennon - don't know. United, much like Arsenal and Chelsea are beatable. Focus Spurs, focus.

I'm drooling. Can't wait for it.

A United fan pointed out to me that if they do win the title, apparently it will be a record of sorts, thanks to the amount of games they've lost this season. Which is further evidence of just how open the Premier League is becoming.

Now, just think what we could possibly achieve with a squad that skips past potential depletions and injuries and has an extra one or two squad players added for good measure. Champions League would cement and consolidate all the hard graft and stop key players flirting and bring in new players of the ilk required. No old Scottish men blowing kisses in the direction of Bale, Modric and Palacios thank you very much. Not this summer ta. And don't get me started on the project at Eastlands. You can already half make out what they might attempt to do.

So, the players, the manager, the fans...

To dare is to f*cking do.

COYS.

Bale Magic!

In the worlds before Bale, Premier chaos reigned.

Sky Sports sought order; but the Tottenham can fly only when its feathers are grown.

The Big Four worlds formed again and yet again, as endless aeons wheeled and passed. Time and the pure essences of Cardiff, the moisture of Southampton, the powers of the Levy and the Comolli all worked upon a certain rock, known as the Left Flank. And it became magically fertile.

That first egg was named "Transfer". Jol Buddha, the Father Buddha, said, "With this transfer we make the world". Elemental forces caused the egg to hatch. From it then came a Welsh gem.

The nature of Bale was irrepressible!

Born from an egg on a mountain top
The swaggest looking Welsh kid that ever popped
He knew every magic flick under the sun
To tease the Lane
And Shelf Side and Pax-ton
Bale magic, Bale magic (repeat 4 times)

What a pulsating tricky monkey this one is
The Gods of Fate were angered
And so they punished him
Ligament damage and no league win unexpressed
And that was the start
Of his jinx conquest
Bale magic, Bale magic (repeat 4 times)

With a little bit of Harry magic
Bale is now alright
With a little bit of wing magic
He’ll destroy the red and blue scum alright
Gallivanting from deep on the left hand side
The sexiest pob beast that ever popped
He knew every step-over trick under the sun
To tease the Lane
The Shelf Side and Pax-ton
Bale magic, Bale magic (repeat 4 times)

Original theme tune of Monkey Magic by Godiego. Re-invention idea by Dr Oyvind, re-work by Spooky.

Another derby, another win, another DVD

The month of April. Legend has it that it was birthed in the very depths of hell. A fixture list carved out into the back of a damned soul with the blood of virgins inked into the finger nails of Satan.

Arsenal.
Chelsea.
Man Utd.

Two played. Six points. We never beat the big teams. We always bottle it. Stick it up your bollix. Again.

To dare is to f*cking do and we're f*cking doing it. Did I expect it to be this convincing? Or course not. My pre-match concerns bottled into a single assumption which was thinking today would be a little like last Wednesday. Back to the walls, pressure and pressing and counter attacking the ingredients for survival. We'll run out of steam, we all said. No Wilson again? We'll be ruined in midfield. Er. Not quite.

Instead today was altogether a completely different ilk of game. One of swaggering style, sexy and slick, covered in a glossing of grit. A performance of supreme confidence and belief. Absolutely magnificent.

Chelsea have hiccuped away from home a few times this season, and perhaps the pressure got to them today. That's up for debate, no doubt something their fans can talk about. What is beyond debate is that Tottenham got to them.

I f*cking love this club for keeping me eternally entertained.

Wednesday, we beat the pretenders, dicking Arsenal and ending their season. Saturday we beat the real deal, continuing our resurgence against Chelsea by damaging theirs. Three point Lane? Bogey team no more. It's so quiet, it's so quiet, it's so quiet over there.

City lose to a 93rd minute Utd winner and 4th spot twists back into our favour.

Injury and selection issues? Lack of true depth in squad? Fallacies. Heart and desire, intent and control. Tempo made in N17. We've had it all season long, disappointed at times, but in the past two games - when it mattered the most we brought it to the table. Just hope we can do the same against the likes of Bolton and Burnley.

Bale was awesome. Just awesome. What. A. Player. Brilliant goal. Dawson immense. In front of Fabio. Modric in the middle. He  can't play there, can he? Hehe.

Terry red-carded, a delight. Couldn't happen to a nicer bloke. 2-1 was - and I'm pinching myself - not a justifiable scoreline. Should have scored more. Would have been done and dusted long before Lampard’s consolation. Roman guilty of a sitter. Bale and Defoe had efforts.  Bentley's brilliant lob sublime.

Talking of JD. Glad he's got it (penalty) out of his system.

Spurs. Title contenders? Of course not. Title influencers? Aye. Champions League front runners? This week. Yes. Makes you wonder. Had we won through into the Cup final, would the hunger and focus in the league have been this great? Whatever Harry is doing I applaud. The players also deserve the utmost credit for the way we've gone from slipping all over the Wembley pitch to flying amongst the clouds.

We were fantastic. On and off the pitch. Top class. Can't wait to listen to Hansen on MotD tonight. Spurs will always let you down, won't they Alan?

/gloat

Only one team in London. Four days. Two DVDs.

More later when I've stopped dancing on the rooftops.

Cult Heroes caption competition update

From this.

All the below made me chuckle extra-hard.

Mackay "what do you mean you can see into the future and we will underachive for decades"
Apr 12, 2010 at 5:06 PM | the glory boys

-

you should have gone to speck savers
Apr 12, 2010 at 8:07 PM |  martinspur 

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Bollocks you "slipped on the pitch"....
Apr 12, 2010 at 8:32 PM |  PLN

-

Mackay: "Trust me, this image will go down in history. 50 years from now, long after our playing days are over, we'll still be immortalised in caption competitions the world over. We'll be legends, I tell you, legends."

Bremner: "We or you?"

Mackay: "Details, Bremner, always with the details."

Apr 13, 2010 at 9:47 AM | Ginola14

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"She's not even born yet but I'm climbing on Dannielle Lloyd before you do. Now Fuck off!"
Apr 13, 2010 at 1:02 PM | Skinny

Ginola14. You win. Get in touch.

And for the losers of this wee caption comp, you can still pick yourselves up a copy of 'Spurs Cult Heroes' in the Spurs shop all good bookshops and online (at Tottenhamhotspur.com, as well as WHSmith, Amazon, Tesco, Waterstones and Play). 

Follow the All Action No Plot facebook group here.