All hail Bale and Bentley

Back due to popular demand (three people emailed me)...

/drum roll

The Fantastical Return of the 'Stupendous Adventures of Bale and Bentley'

Gareth: Hello
David: Alright?
Gareth: How's tricks?
David: I'm playing first team football week in week out.
Gareth: I know. I'm playing too. It's lush.
David: It's amazing! I get to play on the right-wing and the gaffer rates me for it.
Gareth: You think that's good? Can you not hear the noise after I do something special on the pitch?
Gareth/David: BALE, BALE, BALE...

(both laugh)

David: What about me? I get cheered and applauded, even with the facial hair.
Gareth: Hobo chic is in.
David: It's in because of me. I made it 'in'. How did we both manage to turn things around?
Gareth: I don't know. I guess we were both patient, bided our time and got a bit lucky too?
David: It has nothing to do with luck Gareth. It was hard graft. And to think we were both lined up for moves away a few months back.
Gareth: We really got our shit together.
David: We did, our change in fortunes was because we both believed we would overcome the adversity.
Gareth: BALE, BALE, BALE...
David: Give us a hug!

Three months earlier…

Al: Ziggy says the odds are not very good.
Sam: How 'not good' are they?
Al: Oh, you know. They're way down there not good.
Sam: You're not helping Al. What am I meant to do here?
Al: Ziggy had a new data search component installed and we had to have it shipped in from Hong Kong and I think that gave a little jet-lag to its cpu processing chip...
Sam: Why do you make this stuff up all the time? Why don't you just say, 'Sam, we don't know'. Why don't you just do that for once instead of making it all up?
Al: Well, that wouldn't be any fun, would it?
Sam: A little help please.
Al: You sort of look like a half man half chimp cross-breed. Oh, hold on, Ziggy's now 91% sure that you're here to save this man from some kind of voodoo hoodoo curse.
Sam: Great.
Al: And Ziggy's also 98.9% on the money that when you're done with him, you'll be leaping into that man over there to save him from a life wasted living in skips.
Sam: What man?
Al: The one star-jumping and crying profusely.
Sam: Oh boy...

Spurs unveil new home kit

No matter how many times we fire, we just never seem to do any real damage.

This might just be the words engraved on our 4th spot headstone cometh the end of the season.

You can't fault the side for effort. It's not like we're not crafting out chances. [ground-hog day] We just don't seem to have the cutting edge to put to bed teams who sit back and defend against us [/ground-hog day].

Christ, imagine if we were a tad more clinical? We'd wipe the floor with practically 90% of the Prem. Instead, we make the art of winning a game (based on chances and possession) look like hard graft, and in the end we get a point for our troubles and plenty of head shaking. What makes it even more frustrating is the fact we are leaving ourselves susceptible to a counter-attack and sucker punch goal. Simply because we don't stick in the back of the net. It's not great for the heart, but then watching Spurs never is.

Are we unlucky? Maybe, a little. Perhaps its our routine 'trying to hard' style of play when at times perhaps we should disguise our play a little with a clever ball. Game could have done with the touch of Gudjohnsen. I'm assuming he's not quite ready for action. Or Harry simply decided the game was just too highly strung to risk changing it's dynamics.

Villa, I expected to see arrive at the Lane and give it a right old go. Instead they parked the bus and defended, at times, brilliantly. Respect from Villa or just negative tactics from MON? Either way, they're the ones happy with the point. We're left with heads jam-packed with what ifs.

We played well, perhaps not excelling in one or two areas. But once more, did enough to win it and yet just about enough not to. Modric was involved but not quite on top of his game in the final third. Bale and Bentley continue to impress - Bale especially from a defensive perspective. Proud to see these two do well. Bentley continues to show determined consistency. Wilson was strong, Hudd equally so but didn't do enough IMO in an offensive way. Game needed someone to dictate. Hudd doesn't always impose himself half as much as he's capable of doing. We defended well too but then it wasn't like Villa put us under pressure. Gomes alert when called upon.

Should Harry have made a sub and taken a risk? Niko for Moddle? Had it not worked out I'm sure some of us would have still criticised him for making the wrong substitution.

I do think that had Lennon played in this game and one or two others in recent weeks we'd be in a better position. CL football is not in a galaxy far far away, but rather just a hyper-jump away.

13 games left. No need for a funeral procession just yet. But with Liverpool back in 4th and waiting on the return of Torres, once more we're left hoping all this possession ends with one or two head shots. At the very least.

Spurs v Villa. Squeaky-bum time.

There are now 14 games left in the season. It's suddenly dawned on me…this is it. The business end. The run-in. There is practically no room left now for excuses or the suggestion that if we drop points, we'll catch-up because shirley the teams around us will drop points at some point. Except the point is, there is no longer enough wiggle room to place our hopes on the form of others.

If you're a pessimist, no doubt you'll have already accepted defeat. We've dropped 5-8 points that could be perceived us self-inflicted (obviously, this is all in the eye of the beholder). Fact is, if a team self-implodes (Everton away for example) it's because the team is not good enough. Something is still missing. If a team can't keep it together and kill the game off (Everton away for example) then the players are lacking the right level of mental strength to claim anything above 5th. However - the fact that we've sat pretty much in 4th or there abouts for a while now makes all this doubly frustrating.

If only for that extra bit of decisiveness we'd be laughing. Regardless of whether it disguises the fact that were still not quite good enough. Almost. Possibly a player or two short from, say, beating Everton away after taking a 2-0 lead and not throwing it away.

14 games. It's within touching distance. And then again, its not. Thanks to City and their games in hand, it makes it impossible for us to drop any points at home. IMO. Making the game against Villa a massive one.

Stand up and be counted, THFC.

14 games. 7 at home, 7 away. What was I saying about not dropping points at home?

Villa.
Everton.
Blackburn.
Pompey.
Arsenal.
Chelsea.
Bolton.

I count three of those which should be wins. Another one that ought to be a win. A score-draw. And the  remaining two, gut-wrenchingly tough - but, whatever. Who dares wins, right? To dare is to do is even more apt.

Our away games are a little bit more easy on the eye.

Wolves.
Wigan.
City.
Stoke.
Sunderland.
Man Utd.
Burnley.

Err. Actually, no they're not. Teams fighting for dear life, another fighting for the same thing we are and one of them looking towards claiming the very top spot. It's a monstrously tricky end of season. I count 5 'Cup Finals', both home and away. Genuinely, there is no room, no room at all for fuck-ups or missed opportunities.

We all know, hand on heart, we'd have accepted 6th at the start of the season. People laughed off 4th spot and CL. Until it became evident that the standard of quality at the top had further collapsed down a level, drawing us and others closer to that usually elusive spot. I will be bitterly disappointed if we lost out mainly because of the various disappointments that have left us anchored closer to 5th and below than 3rd. We are not in a commanding position. Could have been though. Hence the (potential) disappointment.

Still, at least we've attempted a challenge of sorts. And its far from over. Rather this than pussying around in mid-table.

I expect Villa have the exact same aspirations. Remember the encounter early in the season and how we played them off the park in the second half? One or two of their fans (on a few blogs/boards) commented how they got shown up and that Spurs were genuine contenders. And yet not long after, they hit form. It's been the essence of this roller-coaster season. Nobody has truly taken it by the scruff of the neck.

No more last chances. This is it. 14 games. 10 wins at the very least required. Odds are stacked against us.

Squeaky-bum time is officially with us.

I'm buzzing for it.

COYS.

Spurs. Marching on together. Whoop.

Now that's more like it. Decent cup tie, plenty of chances created. Never really in doubt was it? There was no ominous 'here we go agains' even when Leeds pegged us back. You just felt that the tempo and effort from our lads was always going to cause the home side problems. It took two games, but Premier quality won through in the end.

Bentley continued his sparkling good form. Not keen on the hobo face scruff and although he does look ill there's no doubt that his form is currently sick (see what I did there? honestly, someone should pay me to blog). As long as he continues to keep his feet on the ground and not develop another vanity daze that always seems to eat away at any hope of prolonged consistency. Start to worry the moment he starts to highlight his hair. I'm liking the fact that he's continuing to take the chance he's been presented with. Good work fella. We all know he'll lose his place when Azza is back. But it's good to have competition. Not that it's competition in the strictest sense. Lennon is untouchable.

Defoe re-discovering his goal scoring touch was also a joy. Loved how he added spin on his first (he meant it) and his touch to score the second from an unplayable (from a defensive point of view) Bentley cross was equally impressive. His third was no doubt harsh on plucky Leeds and their fans but to be fair, it was tinged with 'back in your box' qualities that were much required, if anything to end the constant pro-giant killing requirements that ITV are utterly utterly obsessed with. Thought Crouch did a decent enough job in aiding JD. Missed a sitter (of sorts). It's not exactly the most exhilarating partnership with regards to subtle layers of inventiveness, but it's productive.

Apart from an exceptional 10 minute spell from Leeds at the end of the first half (having gone 1-0 up), it was comfortable. Special mention to that reaction though. They had a right old ding dong go at us and even though the goal was debatable - it was probably deserved for the sheer effort leading up to it. Only positive from conceding was that it left no room for further complacency come the second half.

On the subject of the goal, it's debatable depending on how you wish to interpret the phase of play that led to the equaliser. Leeds players all offside, but alas not when the ball reaches Becchio. He's now onside, even though there was arguable interference seconds earlier. Confused? I flipping hope so. I'm still trying to figure out how Defoe's goal at Anfield never stood.

Which we dominated in both chances and possession where the difference in quality was more than evident by the final whistle. Leeds didn't do enough. Our lot did everything right. Chuffed that the players gave the occasion the focus and determination it needed. It's the FA Cup, it should matter. Year might not end in 1. There's still a 1 in there. Bolton away next, more of the same please.

Positives: Bale (see what confidence can do for you?) and Bentley (2 assists and a couple of moments where I'm certain I witnessed him going past a player) were impressive, Defoe clinical. ITV duly gutted. Did love how when we took the lead, the second thing out of the commentators mouth was about whether Leeds could fight back. Dry them mate.

Goodbye Leeds. We might never meet again (hopefully).

Bread and butter next with Villa at the Lane, which is just as important for altogether different reasons. More so in the eyes of many. It's another cup game. In the league. Lose this and the feeling of deflation will no doubt sting. Win it, and there's an opportunity to use it as a springboard.

Onwards.

COYS.

It's only the FA Cup

Hola.

I've been swamped, hence the lack of anything blog related today. Not even had time to browse through the various forums and news sites to see what's occurring. In fact, all I know as of 2pm today is:

- Celtic lost 1-0 last night. Keane managed to aim all his shots at the opposing keeper.
- A Crystal Palace right-back who hasn't scored since 2008 notched a 'perfect' hat-trick in the space of 7 minutes (left foot, right foot, header), knocking Wolves out (Palace fan sits behind me in the office).
- We've apparently got some kids on the bench tonight for the trip to deepest Yorkshire.

Ryan Fredericks, Harry Kane and Dean Parrett being the kids (last I heard - anyone care to confirm otherwise?). Regardless of the inexperience that may or may not be sitting and watching, the team that will be selected best wipe the floor with the League One opposition. The very same League One opposition who stole the show at WHL.

Yes, yes, we could do without this game in our push for 4th (push? - more like sleep walk at the minute) and we can do without picking up any more injuries, considering that we're already without Azza and BAE. So all eyes on Modric, Defoe and Palacios. And Dawson. And probably Bale too. And let's not forget Niko. Cannot afford even the slightest knock. At least Kaboul and Eidur are available for the Villa  4th Place-Shoot Off. Seriously, I've just had to accept Kaboul as our big name Jan signing, so I'm now looking forward to his wonderfully plucked eyebrows. Seriously, just stare at them. Do so long enough and you'll find yourself in a daze. Sultry.

But anyways, my point is, it's the FA Cup, we didn't do ourselves justice in the first game and considering everyone is expecting Beckford to destroy us tonight (just you listen to the ITV commentary and make a note of how many times they mention the 1-0 win at OT and 'marching on together') we need to go there and turn the game into an anti-FA Cup magic display of complete professionalism from us. 3-0, kill it off. No heroics. No penalty shout outs. Bolton for the winner, and then its all within touching distance.

It's time not to choke but to punch out and give it some. I hope Harry motivates the players pre-match rather than down play it all as an inconvenience.

The future is white, the future is Lilywhite.

Think we can muster that?

Of course not.

Get your excuses ready for tomorrow.

Have we come out of January stronger or weaker?

The incomings and outgoings:

IN

Gudjohnsen (on loan)

Kaboul

Walker (recalled from loan)

Out

Gio (on loan)

O'Hara (on loan)

Hutton (on loan)

Naughton (on loan)

Keane (on loan)

For all the players linked to our club over this transfer window and the summer one, we've seemed to done pretty much nothing in the way of filling the (alleged) gaps that need filling. From my perspective, and possibly from yours too. It's been a dull non-event of a window and granted, you don't always do the best deals in the month of January and it's best not to panic buy. Although arguably, if we've had targets since the start of the season, all the ground work should have been done in the months between the first window and this one. Seems for all the talk about lacking depth in the CM positions and allowing for the possibility of certain players being sold (Bentley, Pav) - nothing has actually happened of much significance. Well, nothing other than quite possibly failing to consolidate 4th spot.

Best chance of finishing 4th, theoretically that is if we injected something extra into the squad to aid us chasing City who will probably win their games in hand.

So what have we done exactly? Are we stronger or weaker for it? Depends on your perspective.

Good Stuff

One for one

Keane is gone. He's been a shadow of the player he once was and there's no doubt that regardless of the obvious personality he brings to the dressing room, he seems devoid of it out on the pitch. Rumours (as ever) suggest that he wasn't displaying the right attitude having been handed back the captains armband on his return from boyhood club number I. He's never been the same player after that particular shambolic adventure. And him on his way (to boyhood club number II) is in no way detrimental to the side because we've signed Gudjohnsen, who might not be as prolific as Keane once was - but he'll link the midfield with attack as good as anyone meaning he can play alongside Defoe or Pav. With Crouch back to being Plan B.

Keane might come back refreshed in the summer, or score enough up in Scotland to aid a permanent move. Either way, problem solved.

Cover for two positions

Kaboul. The utility player. He'll cover CM, DM and RB if required. One player, three positions and no prolonged Brazilian style negotiations (Sandro) or ridiculous transfer fee demands (Sissoko). He's improved, matured and will quite possibly blossom in our decent side (rather than struggle like he did first time round). And Kyle Walker is back to cover the fullback position. Must have impressed at Sheff Utd.

Squad consistency retained

Could have done with a goal keeper just in case Gomes does get crocked. But we tried, it seems, on three different fronts to sign one. But otherwise, we've got rid of the deadwood and players who simply wont be getting near the first team and therefore are better spent playing elsewhere.

WTF?

Upfront

We've got 4 forwards. One blows hot and cold. The other hardly scores consistently. The other one hardly ever plays. The new one isn't match fit yet. Letting Keane go, regardless of his lack of oomph, is hardly the best thing doing when you consider we are about to enter a proper ding dong battle to keep our noses that point or two ahead of the teams chasing the same thing we are. He's worth a bundle regardless of his tainted mojo, so sending him out on loan to a Scottish team seems to imply trouble at the mill. Plenty of pressure on EG then.

No DM

Go back to the summer window and remind yourself of when it closed and Harry admitting that letting O'Hara go to Pompey had left us without any true cover in the middle. And yet, here we are, after the closure of the winter window and once more - no cover. If Sandro is genuinely the target and we have to wait until June/July that doesn't change the fact that if Wilson gets injured we're in a spot of bother. We've been crying out for an understudy for an age. Massive risk by Harry and Levy IMO.  Looks like Kaboul is our DM cover for the time being. I'm scared.

CB looking good

With Woody MIA and attempting to find some way back from injury and King playing part-time, signing Kaboul has fixed our CB cover out for now. Dawson, Bassong, Kaboul, Corluka. It's all good. Except that Kaboul once upon a time made an awful Daws look good as he's the type of player that manages to make massive mistakes in games that are costly. Corluka never really does it for me at CB and if either Daws or Bass get a knock, we're once more biting nails.

No RB cover

We've gone from having 37 right-backs to one. Kaboul looks like he's in for a busy return shift. Hutton and his cameos are no more with his loan out to Sunderland. If Charlie gets injured...well, you know the drill. It's Kaboul Time. Again. Unless the young lad Walker is going to play a proper part in the squad rather than watch from the sidelines much like Naughton has done.

So, good stuff of wtf?

Is there a lack of quality out there at the moment that has left us having to look for a bargain rather than a newly discovered gem? The Keane situation is a mess. I did laugh reading Harry's comments about Robbie being a Celtic man and how this is a dream move for him. Plenty of blag in his words, it's obvious he's building him up and hopefully Keane can have a positive spell up in the SPL - but no matter the great times he's had for us down South, he's tainted his legacy with the whole Liverpool episode. But I guess given a once in a life time opportunity - which is how Keane perceived it - he took it. Shame he didn't stop to think what he had and the rather obvious fact that Rafa wasn't really interested in him to start with.

One of my favourite Spurs players of recent years. When he was on form he was excellent. His partnership with Berbatov in that first season was ridiculous. Scored a bundle for us.

I guess these things happen. The fact he was only ever re-signed because Defoe got injured sums it all up. One booze trip too many in the end.

Conclusion

Simply this.

We have the players to finish 4th. If people think Liverpool do then there's no reason we can't. The problem is, so do Man City and Villa. All our hopes are on the players - the ones we're left with - pulling together and believing. Enough with these points being dropped. If they don't step up together, then the dream is over and we should all agree that we don't have the right balance of players who can give the right level of application when it matters.

You'd think considering City will spend around £200M next summer we could have done with some of that consolidation right now.

But it's not all grim, is it? We're enjoying one of our best (if not the best) points accumulation in a Prem season we've ever had and the problems we are having are ones that are fixable. If Harry has the right amount of cello-tape to go around.  Game for game, pound for pound, we're not doing too badly at all. It's just frustrating that we could have been 5-8 pts better off. I guess one or two other clubs would say the same thing about their predicament.

Onwards, upwards.

COYS

Deadline Transfer Day Special

Sang to the melody of My Way (original lyrics by Paul Anka and sang by the legend that is Frank Sinatra). You'll have to do with your own voice in this instance as Ol' Blue Eyes is otherwise engaged.

In celebration of transfer deadline day. Its been a quiet under-stated January. There's not that much to sing about.

And now the end is near
And so we face the final ticker
Sky Sports will say it's clear
They'll state he's signed to which they're certain

But no, he never signed
They made it up it's jack-a-nory
And more, much more than this
Sky Sports News is just pony

Keano, he's had a few
Not least Liverpool, but let's not mention
He did what he had to do
And we saw him flop with out-right distinction

He went to his boyhood club
Rafa showed no love he was no Stevie Heighway
He's ruined, much more than that
He's gone to Celtic

Yes there were times, I'm sure you read
When the ITK community bit off more than they fed
He's on his way, oh no he's not,
He's having a medical, or perhaps he's not
And they all made it up...as per usual

I've sighed, I've cried and cried
I've cried my fill, it's like Chimbonda
And now as tears fail to subside
I don’t find it at all convincing

To think we wanted more
And may I say a f*cking lot more
But no, oh no, my God
We've re-signed Younes Kaboul...

For what is a Spurs fan what has he got
If not a DVD then he has not
To see Sandro or Ruud Van Nist
And not some ex-Chelsea from the French Riv
The official website shows the tabloids blow
In the Knows are just pony...

Yes, In the Knows are just pony…

Happy Deadline Transfer Day people. Enjoy your evening. Don't stay up too late.

If football matches ended at 80 mins we'd be laughing

Happy with the point? I got told I should be content because Birmingham are a decent side who have lost only once in the Prem recently and are very difficult to break down at home. In what was a horrible match (let's face it) they never looked all that and if it wasn't for yet another illustration of some textbook imperfections in our team we would have won. Instead, at the final whistle, we had made it to 5 points lost (in the final 10 minutes of a game). Five points that would have us in a far more comfortable position currently, with City's games in hand to come.

Instead, we are clinging on (4th) for dear life. Crisis in N17!!

Let's review.

First Half

Huddlestone and Palacios doing okay and Bale continuing his good form. There was balance through-out the side and shockingly, David Bentley was doing the simple things and doing them well. Nothing extraordinary but considering his troubles, this was assured from the almost forgotten man. Defensively, fine. Although there was the odd early scare and Gomes was also tested. The imperfections were in the final third of the pitch. One massive chance, Modric shooting wide. Not enough in front of goal. Wasn't a sexy opening 45 minutes and even though we've played 100 times better, you sensed we were on top of it. Slowly gyrating and fumbling in the dark, rather than going at it hammer and tongs with the lights on.

Second Half

Plenty more possession. Around the 60th minute mark I found myself hoping for some sort of shift in gear. A change of tempo. It's part of our footballing make-up that isn't quite right. Plenty of foundation, not enough glitter. Birmingham had shown very little in response so the game was there for the taking. So when we went 1-0 up, that was it. Or at least, it should have been. Instead the game opened up more, end to end, and that ominous smell of disappointment began to drift in, with nose-pegs kept handy for the inevitable.

We failed to slow the game down, take the zing out of it. Control it by retaining possession and dictating the pace. We always seem to lack the right level of leadership here. A Tottenham stamp of authority imprinted onto the game.

We then went from a period of sustained possession to allowing them to hold onto the ball and play it forward. And once more, with the ball back with us, we opted to rush forward for a 2nd when time wasting or retention was the better option. They attack, Corluka MIA and its 1-1.

Reaction to draw

Not disappointed. Angry. I don't care for their home record against top sides. We lost because we switched off. I blame Kaboul. We officially signed him just before the Brummies scored. You maniac! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you to hell!

Yet another late goal. We need to be turning early possession into goals.

We didn't test their keeper enough.

There's not enough creative juice up front.

And we don't seem to know what it is we are meant to be doing in the final quarter.

Hold onto the ball, defend deep and ball win or attack attack attack and seek out a second with the risk of conceding an equaliser?

Defoe and Crouch

Becoming one dimensional. Ball to Crouch, flick on, Defoe unaware of position to receive ball, opportunity wasted.

Although the one time it did work was when Crouch dived low to back-flick header the ball into Defoe's path, who lashed it past Joe Hart from about eight yards out. Genius assist, right?

If we had Berbatov and Keane (circa you know when) we'd be top.

Glug glug.

Substitutions

Not sure why we had to make them. If it was to perhaps add some inventiveness into the side, craft something out and make Birmingham chase us, it didn't quite work. But then again what do you expect when the two players are Keane and Jenas? Harry should have kept it tight. Although to be fair to Keane, he did alright in keeping the ball. JJ has now gone beyond the point of no return. He's  obviously a decent lad but he's painfully annoying to watch as a footballer.

I've often commented that if Dave Mackay turned up and found himself locked out of his home he'd take a step back and then rush forward with menace, shoulder barging his way through the door before using body parts pulled off Chuck Norris to repair the damage and then sleeping on top of a harem of women.

Jenas would search for a spare key under the door mat and upon failing to find one proceed to ride various London night bus routes until well past dawn before returning to his home to call a locksmith.

Subs in games such as this, at 1-0, need to be match-defining.

The 80th Minute Curse

If we are 1-0 up with 10 minutes to go, expect to drop two points. Yes, we should have won, but this season is jam-packed with 'shoulds'. We still lack the ability to kill teams off and then kill the game off. It's actually a nice problem to have. Honestly. Think about it. If Harry works out the solution and the players work that harder to make sure we keep it together as a unit, then we'll be laughing rather than wiping away the tears. Sadly, the one player we need - a midfield uber-leader - is the one player we won't be signing this Jan window. The problem being, there is no such player in our radar.

We are not a bad side. The hope is that the players have it in them. Might have been a last minute goal, but the game was lost in the prior 89 minutes.

Form wise - at the moment - we are not clinical enough to make something out of all the possession we have. There is no ruthlessness. But let's not pretend it wasn't there earlier in the season.

We seem to be naïve. Corluka rushing forward, losing the ball, not getting back in time to have a clue who to cover.

All eyes on Harry.

Positives

One defeat in twelve games (edit: It's two apparently). We're not getting out played. Bale is in superb form. Bentley is taking his chance and doing pretty okay with it. No showboating. Just hard work. With consistency and confidence, more might came. But everyone knows he'll be dropped the second Lennon is fit.

Player Ratings

Mainly 7/10 for all players. Bentley scores 7.7 and Crouch around 6. Poor, boring game with both keepers hardly with much to do. We miss Lennon and the out-let he provides along with the fact that he is the type of player that the opposing team have to work out a plan to attempt to stop him. We did enough to win the game, the very minimal requirement and then did enough to give it away.

Irony

We mugged them at WHL. They mugged us on Saturday.

Don't say it's true

We dropped plenty of points in 2006 which cost us 4th long before that fateful last day of the season. That year we were comfortable until the very end and only the one team was chasing us. This season, its altogether different.

Us, City, Villa, Liverpool and Everton (slowly creeping back into it) are wanting it. For me, it's Villa who look the strongest. City second. Not convinced by Liverpool. The gap between this group and Utd/Chelsea is closing but its still miles and miles apart. As seen by how United out-classed Arsenal. We have to be better than this group before worrying about the top 2. And at the moment I'd say we're ahead of Liverpool and Everton. We'll find out more when we play in the...

Cup Final

At home. To Villa. We could pretend we're playing West Ham and wipe the floor with them. Huge game this. Test of character, belief. Test of Harry's tactics and one that will either signal yet another assault on retaining 4th spot or the realisation that the season will be lost if the players continue to fail digging deep.

Leeds Away

Can we just stick three past them and be done with it?



COYS

Who's the Pompey mystery man?

From the Beeb:

BBC South understands that the deal to sell Begovic has been done without the support of either Storrie or executive director Mark Jacob, the lawyer of owner Ali Al Faraj.

Which means that Ali Al Faraj is also not involved, I guess. You'd think. Unless he's personally dealing with the transfers. Without the aid of his lawyer. Hmm.

So who exactly is speaking to Daniel Levy over the transfers of Kaboul and Begovic?

The annoying twat with the cowbell? One of the groundsmen? Red Rum?

My money's on Ian Beale. Innocent of killing Archie Mitchell but shrewd enough to mastermind the take over of Pompey whilst behind bars in order to fund his next venture. Ian Beale action figures with removalable goatees. Actually, that makes no sense at all. Pompey are debt ridden, so he has no chance of making any money out of it to aid the manufacture of the figures in secret sweat shops housed in deepest Walford.

Spooky Understands its Ali Al Faraj, as owner, doing what he wants to do because he owns the club and things are beyond desperate. If he's not talking to his manager and his chief executive, that's an internal issue with Portsmouth. His lawyer, being a lawyer, is unlikely to assist or admit nothing to BBC South anyway.

It's basically none of our business either way and if the players are available, and we want them, then our chairman will no doubt speak to the person/s at Pompey who are tasked with negotiating transfers.

The original news article from the BBC is simply based on conjecture from the mouth of Storrie, so believe what you want.

£6M for the both of them is the reported combined price tag. We do love a bargain.

But seriously...KABOUL? Really?

You wait ages for one and then three…

You have to feel for Pompey. Savaged financially, Judas suing them, reliant on Jamie O'Hara's hand-outs and now us, plucking more of their players as they stand there, disillusioned and depressed.

Kaboul it appears is the next one. The Beast with no Brain is set for a return. Portsmouth still owe as a couple of million quid on the deal apparently, so yet another 'bargain' in the making, hey? He hardly got a chance first time round at the Lane and I'm certain I remember Comolli banging on about him being 'one for the future'. So much wrong with that.

A) You don’t spend £8M odd quid on a player for the future when at the time we needed players for the present
B)  You don't then throw him into the team in desperation and decimate his confidence (this happens a lot at Spurs)
C) And player 'for the future' usually show signs of the player they will one day turn into. Which J-K failed to do

Actually, what am I saying? He did get a chance. It was because of his chances that we sold him. Strong, determined but prone to massive mistakes. I know what you're thinking. Dawson. We kept with the latter and he's not doing too badly. Good enough in fact for a 5 year contract.

If you're wondering, Begovic is the other target (although he has played for two clubs already in a footballing year).

I liked Kaboul initially. He looked like the type of 110% player we lacked at the time. However not so refined in other areas. We sign the wrong player for an over-inflated price, say we're not going to use him, use him, he has a major high (4-4 v Villa) and then is tagged as a minor scapegoat following mediocre performances and several shag-ups. Then he's gone. And now he's on the verge of returning. For  less than we signed him for.

It's all just a bundle of barmy.

Is this the midfield cover then? Or do we dare to play him at centre-back? Shudder. Spurs, signing back players who were not that good in the first place.

Is Chimbonda available? Cheeky £2M bid?

Gudjohnsen

So apparently we've signed Gudjohnsen. On loan. He's definitely not a defensive midfielder (sigh) nor a prolific striker. He's a link man. Superb player at Chelsea, but not sure exactly how he's progressed since - other than the odd cameo during his time at Barcelona. No problems, it would seem, in getting him to sign on the dotted line as there was no competition for his signature.

Pause.

Nah, just kidding. West Ham apparently offered him a contract and the player had a medical there too. We then offered the same contract (wage wise according to honest Harry) and he's chosen us. Not sure why the claret and blues are in melt-down over it. He had two choices, he made a decision, end of story. Why do chairman/owners always try to re-invent the wheel in the hard-done by stakes? It's not like this type of thing is rare in football.

Sullivan spouting about karma just adds fuel to the perpetuated obsession that is directed towards us and thus by mentioning it our obsession with them…it's complex stuff this rivalry business.

Birmingham recently stole a player from the clutches of Wolves, so perhaps that's the karma Sullivan is referencing. Otherwise, let me remind you about a certain French player we spoke to who then got into a cab we paid for, drove to the cesspit and signed for the enemy. Karma? We've had plenty of it rammed down our throats with excessive dollops of lasagna to last us a life time.

Still, I'm not stripping down to my y-fronts and moon walking across my office desk just yet. Perhaps it’s the collection of forwards we now possess that has me wondering where they will all fit in from one game to the next. Although plenty of time for one of them (at a stretch two) to be sold on between now and the 1st of Feb.

I still believe that another DM is a necessity if we are to consolidate and take that 4th spot. This is a massive chance to claim CL football because next season the likes of Man City will have spent another £200M or so in a single summer and Liverpool will probably rediscover their form - leaving us scratching our heads and wondering about 'what ifs', and in addition relentlessly trying to hold onto Lennon and Modric, before accepting a donation to the Tottenham Foundation and accepting defeat.

Good luck Eidur. Once upon a time, it was Keane who spent the game linking the midfield with the forward line. Hopefully Harry has a plan about how this will work, but considering the issues we have currently with unlocking defences and thus making a meal out of it, we might have just got ourselves a rather worthy key.

The Jan transfer window has gone looney tunes

So apparently David Sullivan is mouthing off about all this Gudjohnson business. The Evening Standard run with the back-page headline stating:

"David Sullivan’s fury as Spurs hijack Eidur Gudjohnsen deal"

Is this not the same Sullivan who had shares in Tottenham and attempted to hijack ENIC's consolidation of ownership? Or did I just make that up? If I did, it's just like the tabloids. Ooh. Maybe he tried to buy shares in THFC. Bah, I've lost my punchline now.

How about posing like Ray Winstone again for the camera. Yeah, that's it, no smiling, just make sure you look well 'ard.

Bore off mate.

As for Eidur, got a footballing brain and some of our lot are justifying it by suggesting he would work a treat linking up the midfield with attack. We're not short on the creative side. I'd much prefer a proper goal scorer. Are old men really the only choices we have at the minute? Not seen the bloke play recently so I can't really offer much other than to say his best years are past him. Then again, some said the same of a certain other 'clever' forward.

I wish him luck at Upton Park.

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So Gio is off to Turkey and once more we are divided into various groups of opinions.

"He's over-rated"

"Trouble-maker who doesn't train"

"Never got a chance"

etc

Did Barcelona know what they were doing when they got rid of him? Probably. I don't buy all this 'he wanted to play first team football so he left' nonsense. What amuses me is how having done nothing with this player, do people actually believe we'd go out and buy his brother? This is now officially the worst January transfer window of all time. Anyways, Gio is on loan so you never know...we might see him again. Probably not.

Time to re-call Adel.

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On the subject of kids, have we learnt nothing with Gareth Bale? So refrain yourselves from thinking that John Bostock has been ruined. He's a teenager. The mistake we made was not leaving him to complete the season at Crystal Palace and then bring him into our academy fold and allow for first team experience. Rather than tour games and the one UEFA Cup cameo. The kid has talent, but as usual we don't appear to be the best place on earth to nurture and develop and bring them into the fold. I liked Harry's comments about getting him to train with the first team. Positive thinking finally. If he's good enough, we'll soon know.

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Kaboul. Two words. What the fuck? That was three words.