Niko, why you mad?

Quotes via the Daily Mirror. Let's assume nothing has been lost in translation, which is the usual get-out clause for wordy ranting.

Kranjčar has accused Levy of being a liar and breaking his promise to sell Luka this summer and also guilty of condemning the players behaviour (failure to turn up to training/US tour). Niko also backs 'the strike' (what strike? the one where he ends up back in training?)

Here's the quotes:

"I know that the chairman talked to him face to face last autumn. He promised Luka he would let him go, and now he's condemning him. 

Levy did everything to protect the interest of the club and make a profit. He has also used lies to deceive the public, which is allowed in business, but if you were in Luka's shoes, you would probably do the same as him".

Okay, so firstly, Levy is the chairman of Tottenham Hotspur and leads ENIC and as much as you and me might not wish to perceive football as a business, it is. Profit is what drives the club forward to be able to build and develop, both structurally and on the pitch. Protecting the interest of the club? That's why he's the chairman Niko. Promising Luka can leave is hardly going to be a promise without one or two caveats. The main one being that any interested party must meet our valuation of OUR player. A player with four years left on his contract. Is there a cultural issue here with mathematics?

"To have an offer from Real Madrid is a once-in-a-career opportunity. I'd do anything to get to Santiago Bernabeu, playing for Real Madrid is the greatest privilege in any footballer's career, even if I prefer Barcelona. That's why I understand Luka"

Okay, so you just joined a club but you're sort of indirectly whoring yourself to the two biggest clubs in world football to prove why it's so important for Luka to play there? You can quite easily get to Santiago Bernabeu if you want. Book a flight, get a taxi. Have a look around, they do tours.

"In my three years at White Hart Lane, I never had lunch or a serious talk with the president. There was no need. It's not customary for bosses to invite you for a cup of coffee, even if you're their next-door neighbour like I was, in Cuffley. I know from my own experience how difficult these people are and how hard it is to break out of a contract with them"

Okay, so you didn't dunk your custard creams with Levy in his living room. What a monster of a human being he is. Evil, pure evil.

"Remember Berbatov? And it was the same with me: they held me back for two years, until finally my new club paid what they were asking, and not a pound less. That is their speciality: they set unreasonably high transfer demands, but the absurd thing is they always get what they ask for"

Berbatov? Hmm, yes, yes. I remember him. He's the fella that only signed for Spurs so that he could prove to Fergie he was good enough for Man Utd. Played a blinding first season, throw a strop in the first summer than orchestrated his escape via strike after his second season. That Berbatov right? I guess you want Tottenham to bend over for everyone and just hand over our 'best' players for tuppence because the players, the poor little players, are the victims in all this? Unreasonably high transfer demands? Either you rate your mate Luka (and yourself) or you don't. Make your mind up. We get what we ask for? That must mean that the buying club agrees with our valuation of the player because if they didn't they wouldn't sign him.

"Kiev is not London, but it is very good for city life, and the football teams are very strong. Dynamo Kiev is big on tradition and the fans, and though lots of people will say it's not like Tottenham, if you look at history, Dynamo Kiev is a bigger club than Spurs."

That's fair enough. It's what you believe and I wish you well. But never again will I lose myself in those dazzlingly eyes of yours. You slag.

Levy Mathematics

Sign a player for £2.5M. Sell him for £7M.

Goodbye Niko, we didn't see enough of you in a Spurs shirt. That wasn't always your own doing. Graceful with flair and wonderful hair. Wasn't to shabby to look at either.

Good luck at Dynamo Kiev.

We'll have to wait and see if Levy has more maddening skills this summer with pulling in more than the £4M he wants for dos Santos and forcing Everton to buy back Pienaar for more than they sold him for.

All more likely than signing a centre-back.

 

Midfield majesty

Continuing the season review from here.

It’s the midfield’s turn now.

Huddlestone

Strange how things can turn out. One persons misfortune can lead to someone else coming to the forefront unexpectedly. Happened with Bale when BAE was injured. Happened with Sandro when Huddlestone was out. Might struggle to get back in now.

It’s been a mixed season for big Tom. A few seasons back, I discussed his merits and the fallacy of his immobility and his under-rated work ethic (he can occasionally boss games). His got the mad skillz with an array of volleys and thunderbolt shots and elegant passing that has a touch of the Hoddle about it. The dirty, darker side to his play needs to be policed as there’s nothing worse than seeing one of your own lash/kick out with studs.

Hudd offers something different to Sandro, but in a 442 (with vdV playing behind a lone striker) you would probably prefer the defensive qualities of the Brazilian to the offensive play Tommy has to offer. Mainly because he (Sandro) protects Modric who is then free to dink and dictate. What I do like, in terms of our squad, is that we have a rich variety of talent within our midfield pool – all players giving us something different.

The new conundrum (worth revisiting separately) is how best do we line-up to accommodate them?  2-6-2 anyone?

The bigger conundrum might actually belong to Hudd who might feel he needs to play week in and week out to truly maximise his potential.

Modric

I love Luka. So good you might not even notice him. His peers obviously didn’t. Although everyone else watching football from the stands or on television did. You can hardly miss his non-stop energetic coverage of every blade of the midfield grass. Always looking to play a pass or get on the end of one. Always recycling the ball with an almost Barcelonaesque presence. He is the control centre of the side, everything goes through him. The tempo, the possession. He’s imperative and quite simply irreplaceable. Because how would you go about replacing a world class player when perhaps signing one would prove to be a task of impossibility in this current climate of CL demands and ridiculous wages.

Luka spoke out recently, he’s an honest down to earth man. He’s happy at the club and isn’t looking to move on. We won’t sell him, we won’t look to sell him. Levy has already said this. Although money is money and if a bid came in for him that sat around the £35M-£40M and his agent whispered ‘150k per week’, an honest man wouldn’t lie to himself when questioning his loyalties to his own self being.

If you’re better than someone who is earning twice as much as you elsewhere, scratching your head you will.

I’m a romantic and with Spurs being in good nick with several top drawer players, I hope as a team they all have ambitions to stick together and achieve something at the club that works against what we’ve come to expect from history.

He might not score many goals but he’s magical with the ball at his feet. The fact everyone will be looking across to the Lane this summer speaks volumes about his quality. He would turn any midfield in this country into a better one.

Bale

This is what Tottenham is all about. Sign a young talented player, mishandle him through development and injury blips, almost destroy him and almost send him out on loan and then end up with one of the most iconic moments in our recent history: Bale, in the Champions League, destroying the reigning champions.

Okay, so yes there is plenty of style hype to run alongside the genuine substance. Gareth Bale is technically gifted, physically strong (or not – more later) and possesses great speed and agility. He’s also got an eye for goal. Unknown quantity in the CL meant he had a field day on occasions. Back home, one or two did their homework on the lad and nullified him. Although it’s hardly disparaging if you note how many times the opposition placed two men to mark him.

People who prefer to linger on the negatives are missing the point. There are no negatives. Just varying degrees of positives, some of which need nurturing to full bloom. He’s young. He’s learning. He’s had to deal with plenty, especially with regards to expectations and the extra attention after that hat trick.

‘Doesn’t do it in the league’ some have muttered. Well, sure, he’s not devastated opposing teams week in week out. But then his opta stats along with memorable moments might have been doubled had many of his brilliant crosses to head and across the six yard box found a forward. Not his fault movement from our frontline in and around the box let us down on numerous occasions.

He will improve, he’ll learn new tricks and his manager has to continue to play a part in progressing him. He’s a target, as we all saw with the tackle from Adam. He goes down easily, probably because he wants to protect himself. You can hardly blame him, it’s not like he isn’t being fouled. He is. He just takes a moment’s pause to make sure he isn’t broken. Someone still needs to toughen him up as it’s all in the head.

Modric might be the trigger, but Bale is the bullet. And he needs to remain in our gun.

Lennon

Whether it’s because of the bench warming or loss of form and focus, Lennon has not been at his best. Sacrificed by Harry, I get the feeling that Aaron is at times disillusioned. He’s shown glimpses of what he can do but as cited by Tom over at thfc1882, we’ve never seen the best of him at the same time as Bale and you wonder whether an opposition could live with all the questions fired at them if both our flankers were at full pelt together. I’m not suggesting one is detrimental to the other. It’s probably just bad luck and circumstance. But much like Bale needs development and a word in his ear, someone at the club has to drill home to Azza when best to cut in and when best to cross. He still possesses the pace. He’s a weapon that won’t do much damage loaded with blanks.

Harry has to stick him on the right and the coaching staff have to work on his decision making. At full pelt, it’s hairs on back of neck dancing time. We need him rejuvenated and not wasted, much like how Fabio managed to do within the England set-up.

Sandro

If you remember his first few appearances, the main criticism would have related to Sandro’s lack of comfort with the pace of the English game. Understandable. Which is why Harry slowly introduced him, what with pressures of moving to a cold country and settling into our way of life. But what struck me was the kids apparent unfazed demeanour and the manner in which he went about his business on the pitch. He made mistakes, he picked himself up and he got on with it.

Mental strength in abundance and therefore not a concern in my mind that we had found ourselves a winner. A player who believed in his ability to succeed for us. It’s early days but there is nothing to suggest otherwise. He’s a gem. But then he hardly arrived to Spurs from a nothing club. He starred for Internacional in their 2010 Copa Libertadores win.

No more mistakes, no more mis-reading of the games tempo and no more clumsy tackles and yellow cards (well, almost). In the Champions League he was quite simply superb. The pick of the bunch his performance away to AC Milan. His general defensive awareness as good as we’ve had, probably since Carrick. He allows others to flourish forward as he sits back and protects.

I’m excited at the prospect of seeing him in the team from the start of next season.

van der vaart

Just when the transfer window was about to shut, we were gifted a world class player at a steal. You can hardly say no. What you can say is, ‘how best to fit him in?’

I’m uncertain whether we’ve figured that one out. With a more robust centre-forward up ahead of him, perhaps we’d have seen more goals in our favour. He creates, he assists and he scores and he isn’t/wasn’t even 100% at any given moment during the course of the season. I hope his summer and pre-season is a great one because if he returns at the top of his physical peak, it will feel like we’ve signed him all over again.

I must have used the word galvanised a thousand times this season. It’s what Rafa does. His self-belief has proved vital and he’s practically dragged us up from the ground screaming and shouting in games, scoring all important goals and leading from the front – even though he’s not playing up front and can sometimes lose himself in deep areas between the defence and midfield that would leave Robbie Keane blushing.

Fourteen goals in a season of tinkering. Again, if Harry works out how to accommodate our key players in a formation that befits their talents and ability you’d be hard pressed to find a more attractive, pulsating midfield in the country.

Not to end this part of the review on a downer...

Palacios/Pienaar /Kranjcar/Jenas

Palacios has never fully recovered from his lowest ebb. A destroyer in his first season, he’s lost that intensity and with the emergence of Sandro and the inclusion of vdV and Bale on the left wing with Modric in the middle makes it extremely difficult and unlikely that he can work his way back into the side. A crying shame at £14M. I like him. He’s a good hard working lad who has lost his way and has failed to reclaim his past form. Again, we’ve been here many times before with players who we have written off and they’ve come back stronger. Just have a feeling that won’t happen for him at Spurs. Especially if we do end up signing another midfielder in the summer. Which I hope we don’t (other than perhaps a right-winger to cover Lennon).

Pienaar has been subjected to countless shrugs of despondency since his arrival. I’ll just say this: He was Everton’s player of the season. He’s no mug. Squad players should not be dismissed and he can and will do a job for us. He’s been here 5 minutes, give him a chance. Yes, he’s South African, and I would be dismayed if he was signed simply as a commodity (Khumalo anyone?) to aid with our SA fanbase. Okay, I admit he hardly fitted into the criteria we needed – but then when do we ever sign the right type of player? Charlie Adam – where would he have fitted into the side had he arrived during Jan? I think Pienaar is essentially a ‘Harry’ signing. Nice and cheap (wages excluded) and doesn’t quite make sense but does when he can offer cover. I'm trying to remain upbeat on this one. I'm probably in denial.

Kranjcar. Last season so so vital. This season, marginalised. Don’t think Harry utilised him enough and can’t see him at the club next season. Beautiful footballer and not too bad with the skills (boom boom). Rotation could have been slicker from the gaffer and Niko should have played far more minutes. Can’t remember what game it was now, but he was awful (along with one or two others) when given a start...but you wonder how much of that was down to man-management on the training pitch and sheer frustration.

Jenas? Injured for the best part of the season other than one decent cameo spell. He seems to be the perpetual squad player, always in and around the first team. But this season we’ve hardly had time to make disparaging comments because he’s hardly had the time on the pitch to live up to our low expectations of him. It’s not quite fair to be honest to say anything negative about the lad. He’s not been at the races. Another player who might be on his way in the summer. Because I can’t see how he’ll fit into the team any time soon. It's either him or Pienaar.

Next up, the forwards (or lack of).

The money shot that never came

Spurs 0 West Ham 0

It would be easy to tag our attack with the label clearly stating ‘limp’ in big bold capitals. I’d rather not be that obvious. In this instance, I’d prefer to compare Spurs with a male porn star filming on set in LA (or Florida if you prefer) able to sustain wood for a prolonged period even with the countless stoppages and artistic direction. At no point faltering and no flaccid moments to bring filming to a stop. Limp? Hardly, much like Spurs, especially in terms of our effortless movement and offensive intent.

Now the analogy has to be stretched here a little.

The porn star scores several times during the duration of production. But there is only the one money shot. In Tottenham’s case, for all our hard work and poking around it’s not half as fun for us if we get to the end and there’s no shuddering climax. It would be akin to the porn star failing to deliver the most important act of his working day. It would deem everything that built up to that moment as a rather redundant and pointless exercise, for him personally. It will cause on set friction of a different kind.

On Saturday, Spurs resembled that hassled, overly eager and ultimately despairing porn star unable to fulfil and complete the work he's been paid to do. Plenty of swagger and winks to the camera. But no closure. No lingering camera shot and fade out. At White Hart Lane it felt like a session with the fluffer post lights camera action rather than on-set sweating under the lights. It lacked the required relief and that outpouring sigh of ecstasy.

Now if this was a porn movie, someone else would walk onto set and take the role of delivering said money shot, in the knowledge that expert editing in the studio later that day will make it all look seamless. Sadly there is no such cameo to facilitate into this disturbing analysis at this point of the match review. Equally so, if you’re going to ask who West Ham would be in this fantasy, I’d probably opt for Belladonna. Not particularly good looking and usually resembling a complete mess by the end of it, on this occasion frustrating the leading man and the viewers that prefer not to witness a sadistic fetish involving no penetration.

0-0. No money shot. And no satisfaction when the credits roll.

I recently said we could not afford to drop any more home points. Oops. We lost our buffer when losing to Blackpool and drawing at Wolves – meaning that when we play the likes of Chelsea and City and Arsenal (Liverpool too) – these will be must win games. If you look at the table, City are not that far ahead of us (closer thanks to their loss at Stamford Bridge). It’s not impossible, just that we’ve lost plenty of points that would have gone a long way in aiding the fight for fourth. But alas, our way remains the hardest way. As per usual.

There were plenty of positives along with one or two moments of despondent shrugs and waving of hands in disbelief. The perfect illustration of so near and yet so far. It almost resembled the template of game we experienced at the start of the campaign against City. A massive dollop of possession and some guilt edged chances along with unwanted appearances from the woodwork and in-form opposition keeper.

What went wrong this time?

We lined up with a formation that was hardly necessary considering this was at the Lane and against West Ham United (with no disrespect to the East Londoners). No need to over complicate matters with one up top when two would have worked fine. Not that we struggled to get into goal scoring positions. Even with van der Vaart deeper than Linda Lovelace*. Unless you believe that was part of the strategy to dominate the midfield.

*yes, I’ve done that joke before, but felt it relevant enough to spit out once more

For all our wonderful to look at passing and possession, shifting play from left to right, attacking the channels and playing through the middle – it was balanced out with heads turning away in disbelief. Thirty one attempted shots at goal. That’s a lot of head turning.

Defoe was unlucky today. I felt that he only needed a further forty-seven shots on goal himself before finding the net. Two things here, condolences for his very recent loss. It’s a tricky one to gauge with regards to his concentration and composure being completely in synch with the game and not disturbed (even ever so slightly) with off field matters. He had no problem wearing his ‘100’ t-shirt underneath his Lilywhite colours which will need a spin wash before the next game. I'd hazard a guess that his head was in the game. His feet however were not. I won’t dwell on this too much longer other than to say: he should have scored. The Lennon effort off the woodwork the prominent miss. His other goal-sight fluffs seemed to lack the belief of his brace at Wolves.

Modric was his usual class act self. Covers so much ground and is practically involved in everything. His passing is majestic and his movement irresistible. Scott Parker was West Ham’s bright spark, a Jermaine Jenas with a sat nav. Bale still requires another game or two before he’s back at full pelt. Let’s hope International Break does not strike him down. van der Vaart should not have played. He’s not fit and as cited, this was a game that could have done with a more traditional set-up in formation. Rafa seemed to morph into a dizzy Robbie Keane, lost in the midst of midfield with no apparent link-up play with the single forward. The mechanics here needed oiling. The engineer out to lunch.

I was happy with the rest. Gomes alert and Sandro bruising and brilliant. Although Corluka seemed to struggle with a nosebleed the further up the field he travelled which saw some dizzying mis-placed passes.

Lack of cutting ruthless edge in front of goal our bane once more. In a season where most of the top sides are struggling with their demons, it’s worth highlighting that we’re not doing that much wrong. Other than perhaps making it far more difficult for ourselves in the long term by not pulling that trigger against opposition that we should be beating. Nobody in terms of assured quality from the back to the front is taking the league by the scruff of the neck. Hopefully we don’t come off fifth best in this wacky race.

Dawson, Lennon, Defoe, Bale, couple of Modric shots – all efforts that left you scratching your head mumbling ‘one of those days’ a cliché you just knew would rear its head in the post-match interviews. Harry made some fundamental mistakes in selection. But regardless, he can hardly remote control the players once they're out on the pitch.

It was still a cracking game, for the neutral. And City fans. And even easy on the eye for us, mostly. And let’s not pretend that West Ham didn’t have a chance to steal it. That’s a West Ham team that would have gladly taken a point at the start of play. That's how they set themselves up. They held it together, rode their luck, failed to take their chances but never allowed themselves to be over-run. They retained discipline. Relegation fodder? Not on this form. We'll never know how they'd have reacted if we managed to score. Shame we didn't win, what with City losing on Sunday. A point gained then?

Let’s conclude with a positive. Our football has rediscovered it's free-flowing form and we’re looking creative again. Bad luck and bad finishing the spoiler. That’s a negative, isn’t it? I’ve actually finished on a negative. Sorry. I did try not to.

I will therefore end on the porn star analogy that began this match report. What with us failing to deliver the money shot, we could have facilitated and edited things a little by introducing a smouldering cameo Croatian from the watching flank for that final necessary jolt and essential conclusion to the story arc rather than sticking with pizza delivery boys who forgot the mayo. Sadly, the director ignored this possible saving grace and will probably need to add CGI to make amends. Don’t expect to find the DVD on any top shelf any time soon.

True Grit and its supporting cast of Spurs (no cowboys included)

Challenge Spurs™ 2011: Thou Shalt Not Lose

Sunderland 1 Tottenham 2

Bare bones. Three points. Saddle up.

And if you like numbers, then smother yourself in these:

32 points from 45.
1 defeat in 15.
2 points behind Man 'they were challenging for the title before Saturday' City with a game in hand.

Quietly, quietly, Tottenham. Ssshhh.

From the match preview:

Churn out a result at Sunderland. Go to Milan, keep it tight (yeah right) and come back with at least an away goal and a score draw or even a damage limited 2-1 defeat. Then drown them at the Lane in the return fixture with a down pour of glory glory superlatives.

So that's part one done and dusted.

Churn probably the most apt word although dug deep and gritty are a couple of other qualities I don't mind throwing at the 2-1 result at Sunderland. A place we hardly ever win at and not easy for most others to do the same.

First half was fairly diabolical. Even with the missing army of first-teamers (for an assortment of reasons) we still appeared flat-footed, lots of backwards going forwards. Painfully slow in midfield and harassed, allowing Sunderland to press and bully with the added bonus (for them) of conceding a goal that could only be birthed in Tottenhamland. Gallas, off the pitch changing his boots with Dawson admiring Gyan's control and shot, scratching his chin in awe.

I have this saying, a simplistic philosophy, an outlook a game that's about to start. It simply goes something like, "The first ten minutes will tells us all we need to know about the game". And after ten minutes it was ominous. Disjointed and without any signs of a coherent pattern to our play. We all go through the same journey in games like this, high and low emotions and knee-jerks as we process the threat of a loss, no matter how early in the game. Many of us are drama queens without the cool, calm, collected Clint Eastwood stare. It's more Woody Allen than Clint. But, like the players on the pitch, you persevere.

The equaliser was like a magical hangover cure. One glug and the pain is gone. Just before the break too. Another goal birthed in Tottenhamland. The two players at 'fault' for the Sunderland goal (okay, Gallas was off the pitch and you could argue he wasn't at fault because others should have covered him in defence) involved. Dawson, this time the one blessed with the freedom to connect with the ball, accepting the Keys to Bramble, headers the ball towards goal and Gallas dancing in front Gordon, his legs shifting to allow the ball to go through them and then through the keepers. Crisp. Stick that on a DVD.

Second half was for the best part a role reversal, although the home side continued to have a go, hitting the woodwork. We were far far better as a unit. Our mindset tuned into a more robust tempo. Not the best pitch, not the best performance if you picked out individuals and critiqued them in isolation. Doesn't quite work like that though, does it? There was a work ethic evident through the team that elevated the performance to a far more acceptable standard.

Defoe, will no doubt split opinions. He's forgotten how to score, probably trying to hard and let's himself down with his touch at times and his sudden reluctance to just blast the ball without that aged old footballing weakness some of the more instinctive players don't always require (thinking). Sure, he needs to pass the ball towards the goal at times but you sense he lacks edge at the minute.

But he covered ground, worked the channels. Our lack of any creativity would not have helped either of the two front men. Hence the reason why it's quite easy to compound the negative energy towards the little man based on previous games included.

Pav was also ambiguous in performance depending on how you perceived the game. Personally thought they both stuck in a hard days work. Although won't argue that at times both players let themselves down with lack of composure. But some decent link up play from the Russian with the midfield and plenty of free-kicks won makes him the better of the two - and arguably the closest of the two regarding tangible form (if Harry decides to persist with him).

Roman, by the way, is unbeaten in the ten Prem games he's started this season. Ooh. Play him more often, yah? Roman Publyuchenko on the Hackney marshes, not quite.

Interesting stat I stole about the missing man yesterday (Crouch). The Sunderland win was the first time in 63 league game he has not featured in (that's as a starter or sitting on the bench and coming on).

As a unit, we pulled together. And that's what matters. But if you wish to rain down the abuse, you sort of hope for a lot more from our two front men. It's tricky to gauge on just one watch of the game if Defoe, for example, was never in it or simply tirelessly working his way through it in a selfless way without swagger.

Regarding JD's seasoned selfishness of past glories. Has to be in a position to receive the ball. And it simply wasn't that type of match where the midfield could provide him with the chance. Pav slightly better in attempting to create space for a shot on goal.

Re: Meelan. Start Pav over JD.

The winner was sweetly struck.

The Corluka through-ball to Sandro which resulted with the Niko sexytime was understated yet majestic. Kranjčar, from the far reaches of despondency on the sidelines to hero, two games on the trot. We keep changing our minds when it comes to discussing squad depth. We say we have depth and then  dismiss it when the players that are not first teamers fail to impress when given cameo opportunities.

But then on days like these, when you see the likes of Bale, Modric, van der Vaart, Lennon, Crouch, Kaboul, Huddlestone (throw in King and Woodgate to make it look even more impressive) all missing because of injury or rested because of Tuesday - you have to accept that more than a little man-management is required to get the balance and focus spot on. Even if it takes half a football match to get there.

We are still miles away from our best line-up and our best level of performance. It's still hard to self-doubt when we keep chipping away at the top to try and remain anchored there. Squad depth? Seems there's something in that after all.

If you want to pick out negatives (go on, you're Spurs you know you will), you could perhaps once more groan at the lack of set-piece quality (ignoring the goal).  Talking of which, once upon a time JJ wasn't too shabby at them. And still on Jenas, loved his epic tackle (think it was edge of pen area around the 85th minute mark) and his BAFTA winning turn when he protested his innocence after blatantly fouling an opposing player. Who me? Break a leg Jenas. Yours, metaphorically, not one belonging to one of their players*.

*more of a pole-axe, granted.

Talking of acting...Gomes. Honestly, what a fruit loop. Love him to bits but it's embarrassing to watch him cry on the field of play, especially when he was hardly touched. Ooh look I'm going to almost fall over, then scream at the player who punched me in the gut then cry a little then I'll be fine.

Because Gomes is eccentric (cliché) you sort of laugh it off with 'oh look there he goes again', but you'd berate any other keeper that done that (or player) and just because he's got such a comical face doesn't mean he should be allowed to get away with it. Quiet word in his ear, gaffer.

Dawson has had a wobble or three in recent games after that outstanding return. Not sure why. I've been impressed with Gallas so there's every reason to be confident with that back two, but still...? Improved second half - but then again, everyone had to. Did win everything in the air, but at times you worry about his reactions on the ground.

Wasn't pretty, was very gritty. Three more points and further character building proving a success. On the surface, didn't look the best midfield from Harry, but it worked, eventually. Hoping all these rumours of Bale and vdV not making the Meelan game are deflections. Have to wait and see who travels. We need a far more evident buzz in the middle and more width. As well as vdV who can (word of the season) galvanise the forward play.

Positives? Sandro got better as the game progressed. He's been unfortunate at times when starting (and scarified) so glad to see him take to the game after an untidy first half. The kid has mental strength, doesn't seem to be fazed too much. Although Harry should let him know this is not Brazil and you don't tend to have 10 seconds to stand on the ball. Probably did just that at half-time.

So onwards with Challenge Spurs. Two games, six points. Perfect record.

Team cohesiveness - Non-existent first half thanks to so many erratic performances and a lack of control in midfield, but the players dug deep again to grind it out. Doesn't have to be easy on the eye every time.
Leadership - Present by virtue of belief to turn it around.
Work ethic - It's easier when eleven players are a unit. Once players pulled together to retain the ball and use it effectively, confidence grow and the more of the ball you're going to see, well...you're more likely to carve something out.
Craft and creativeness - Lacking up top which meant Pav and JD we're never going to get themselves into goal scoring opps, but no questioning Niko's movement and passing. Important when you consider we are lacking the likes of Luka, Rafa and Tom. But against better opposition, we need the keys to the front door rather than waiting for someone to leave a window open.
Clinicality - Wayward free-kicks, but when it mattered, two goals. Brilliant finish from the Croatian. Again. Not many more clear cut chances on goal.
Tactical astuteness - The second half proved there was little wrong with the selection Harry stuck out there. Need to start these types of games with the same level of commitment and composure as displayed after the HT.
Fighting spirit - 10/10. These types of results go a long long way.

Spurs. Nowhere near full-strength. Away from home. Three points. Niko and Sandro the stand-outs.

The good? Second half. The bad? First half. The ugly? You call three points ugly?

In a word, resilient. Just need the gunslingers back.

Niko spurs a thunder bolt-on

Challenge Spurs™ 2011: Thou Shalt Not Lose

Spurs 2 Bolton 1

The Spurs way is the hard way is the only way. Textbooky Tottenham does it again.

Challenge Spurs™ 2011 is up and running with the perfect start; three points. Even if we did leave it till the last seconds to carve out the win. A blistering thundering effort from forgotten man Niko Kranjčar in a game that witnessed three penalties, two scored, one disallowed then retaken and one missed - all in the space of three minutes. Along with a further one initially given then not and one for the opposition that could should have been given but wasn't. Consistency the Clattenburg way.

We were also blessed with a goal keeping mishap, Jenas wood (ooh), Bolton wood, a wonderfully worked waltz by BAE to vdV to Defoe but alas disallowed, Pienaar almost scoring and the men up front not (we had a goal from a forward in midweek so best not to complain and be too greedy with our demands). Defoe snapped too often, lacked composure, but held the ball up well but did complete a smart finish for the disallowed effort...offside would you believe? Crouch involved, usually resting on the backs of opposing players. But hey, Roman assisted so it's not all grim in the land of the strikers.

It was gritty, it was in parts laboured. There was effort, but not of the swaggering type. And there still remains a question mark or two about the competency of aforementioned forwards (442 the gift again today). We've dug out six points from the last two games. Winning ugly or to be less harsh, winning when you're disjointed but doing your best to avoid falling back on the excuse of missing players - it's just as sweet as dismantling the opposition (I'd still take the latter on any given Saturday).

Fact is, the five games, it's about the points and it's about coming through a tricky period where we are weaker because of injuries and might require rotation to remain competitive away whilst welcoming back the likes of Bale and Modric and dealing with Europe.

Mental strength last term held us up hight above and beyond. If you believe you can win even if you don't perform well, you tend to do just that. Luck might play a part. Who cares, right? Not every game can be analysed with microscopic depth, attempting to decipher why there was no constant free-flowing football. The very fact Jenas (first half) was probably man of the match means we can probably just accept that we won because we scored one more goal than Bolton. Have that Hansen.

Pienaar (second half), also decent with link-up play and covered ground effectively. Lennon sparked once or twice as he continues to be one of our more consistent performers, and thankfully Fabio can continue his fixation on other muses for the time being. International midweek not too far off. Harry will no doubt continue his fixation with the Crouch and JD double-act.

But if I was to flirt with analytical commentary (just a little), based on the magnificent seven essentials that Challenge Spurs™ is looking out for in the games at hand...

Team cohesiveness - Midfield played well considering the players missing and vdV stuck out on the right (although not super-glued there). Wilson, Jenas and especially Lennon (another plaudit) all played well. Pienaar industrious when coming on. Wasn't pretty, we made hard work of it but it worked when ball was played through the middle rather than launched forward by our back-line. Same with the defence apart from the Gomes hiccup.

Leadership - vdV wasn't (isn't) at his best and hopefully his calf issue is not serious. Again proves at half-pelt he can be influential and we need that quality in abundance.

Work ethic - Doesn't matter when you score right? First minute, last minute. We need to rediscover some our tempo and pace but any team that has four or so key players missing is going to struggle a little but as long as we work hard as a unit we'll make up for it in less marauding ways.

Craft and creativeness - When you've got no Modric to dictate and conduct you're going to lack something big from the small man with magical feet. Plenty of hoofing for the textbook Crouch flick-on meant lack of smart moving groundwork but when it was played through the middle, even JJ looked sparky with ball at feet.

Clinicality - Hardly. Defoe appears to snap at shots he should passing into the net and then getting himself into offside positions when making it look simple. But his work rate was more than decent. Crouch scored against Blackburn so the next one is due in 2014.

Tactical astuteness - Can't fault the selection from Harry. As good as it can get at the minute. We kept scratching away at Bolton, pretty much the old analogy of trying to get through the front door without a set of keys. Subs worked a treat. But then, what other options off the bench do we have?

Fighting spirit - Great to see a fringe player (which is what Niko has become) make such a vital impact. When frustration can birth such thunder, it's best kept close to you than afar. Hope to see him used more often. Could have quite easily ended as a draw so it's not quite the back-end of the 2010 season just yet. Sunderland away will hardly be easy but they can be got at. And Wolves (top tier killers) will be more than interesting in terms of trying to out-quality them, as well as go up pound-for-pound with the physicals.

Conclusion: Gear change required.

So, what about casualties? The van der Vaart calf problem, subbed at half-time. Gomes, nothing to do until he decided to cushion the ball under his body and onwards to the net, just to make things interesting. Thankfully no tears were shed in the end.

Question marks on selection (not my opinion - just the vibe of discussion I'm getting from you lot), as a few of you are asking questions surrounding the whole bare bones sound-bite our gaffer likes to beat the drums to when we have players in the squad that should be given more game time and plenty of yoof players loaned out and doing well at other clubs.

Rotation the key, and more importantly - players should be in the side based on performance and the will to perform well. Harry loves JD, but if JD is struggling to regain form then bench him and allow him to come on and do a Niko and then surf on the success of it. Just a thought. Of course when the only option is Pav (he wants to leave...again), as much as you might want to embrace your anti-Harry agendas, the alternatives (thanks to deadline day) don't leave us with much in choice.

Harry has never fancied him (Pav), even with the goals scored towards the end of last season - he's still 3rd choice. Which means he'll never play enough for us to see him 'bed into' the side so we can find out if he works or is just plain ordinary.

Regardless of whether we got lucky or not, a win is a win is a win. Even if another minute less added time would have had us drowning our sorrows on more points dropped. A Spurs lull that still generates the points. Let's try not to forget what we can do when we actually turn it on full pelt. And slowly, them missing will return.

I don't quite buy that we are fighting a downward spiral. Not yet. But then I'm always blinded by optimism. We all know we are capable of so much more offensively. But unlike past swaggering teams, at least this one has a winning mentality. We can dream about having Teddy and Jurgen up front for us or a Berbarotica/Keane love-in, and irony might send you loony, but it's wasteful to dream. But boy, what a dream!

Second best home record in the league in the last 6 games. 3rd best away record in the last 6 games and one defeat in 14 in the league. One more point (44) after twenty-five games than we did at this stage last season (43).

And as mentioned, next game, away to Sunderland. Remember that fixture last season? Lose and 4th goes with it. And what happened? And then what followed in the remaining fixtures?

Exactly.

Keep the faith.

Onwards.

Thou shalt not lose.

Bored of the Stratford

Oh for the love of God. There's an England game this evening?

Well, sod that. Looks like I'll be firing up Football Manager and continuing my THFC save game (I'm top by the way, around 15 games played in the Prem, two points clear).  So, what with this not being a full-on international break and just a standard non-event of a friendly (loving the ITV advert trying to hype it up as a battle of two sleeping giants licking their wounds and trying to rediscover themselves…sorry ITV, you're better off trying to sell me rocking horse sh*t) here's a quick-fire round-up of Spurs news that has made me twitch these past few days.

Niko (via agent) is once more putting it out there that he might leave due to lack of games. On the one hand you might compare him to Corluka who was dropped due to loss of form and hasn't got back in because Harry is someone who does like to reward players for their good forum (Hutton - although I'd much prefer a more positional savvy Charlie working in tandem with Aaron rather than a rampaging Alan not giving a toss about anyone else on his flank including opposing players). Corluka says he will just dig deep and try to reclaim his place. Bravo. That's what we want to hear from our players. On the other hand, it's not like Niko has had much of a chance to hit his stride. A game here or there is more likely to produce a Bolton away performance rather than anything top drawer.

However, I'd refuse to let him go. What with the way we lose players to injuries from one month to the next.

Elsewhere, van der Vaart revealed that we have a clipboard in the dressing room that doesn't get used by the gaffer. No shocker. You can't put your hands around a clipboard and tell it how clippy and boardy it is. Harry is a man manager, I wouldn't go as far as saying tactics and opposition strengths are never discussed. The evidence is there and can't be argued against in terms of focus and game plans (Arsenal/Chelsea/City away last season - Inter at home this season). Unless all these performances were birthed from a brand of belief that Spurs players can occasionally conjure up like a rabbit from a top hat.

Stratford. Bored of it now. You've got every Tom, Dick and Harry coming out denouncing this that and the other about how we can't expand the Olympic stadium or move there or whatever. It's all redundant. The great irony is how many journalists and bloggers are making this out to be a Spurs v West Ham battle with only the one winning through and emerging victorious in the end - us or them. One massive massive problem here. We're going to have our Northumberland Development Project approved, thus remaining in N17. And the consequence of this is we win, and WH lose. Because if you ask any Hammers fans who do not work for the Daily Mail what they think - they'd rather remain where they are now than move to a stadium which they will only ever fill up by selling cut price tickets to Orient fans.

Defoe is almost back. One word of advice. More than one word. Patience for all concerned. Let's not rush him back. Let's allow him time to settle back into the side (he might not need time and be all guns blazing - but still). If we get him back to 100% from now till the end of May, we'll be happy. Everyone will be happy. Including his dear old friend, the offside rule.

COYS.

Chewbacca for Spurs in £23M deal?

Huddlestone collects the ball deep...oh that's a lovely cross field ball to the feet of Lennon, Hoodlesque from the big man…Lennon twists and turns out on the flank, cuts in, cuts back, plays it across to van der Vaart, van der Vaart dummy - the ball through his legs - collected by Modric who lays it first time to Bale. Bale...still Bale, past one man, past two, past three, crosses and ...Chewbacca with the run....CHEW-BAAAACAAAA !!

4-0. Beauty and best football by the home side.

Brilliant movement from Spurs, brilliant finish from Chewbacca who smashed the ball home with brutal ferocity after some quite majestic play from his Lilywhite team-mates. That's his second of the game, and this Tottenham side are positively inspired. Clinical and relentless.

And that's the whistle. Rampant display.. And it's only half-time. Park Lane are in full swing, chanting the name of their new hero...Chewie, Chewie, Chewie...Stewards are selling half-time dvd specials to the home crowd. Hedonistic scenes in N17...

I'm privileged to be commentating on this game, and although you can't see me, let me tell you, the big gold cockerel up on the East Stand is not the only thing to be standing proud and erect this Saturday afternoon.



The above is fantasy.

I mean seriously, four-nil up after 45 minutes? That and signing and starting Chewbacca might prove somewhat tricky, what with him apparently killed off in the serialised Star Wars novels. That and the fact he was birthed from the imagination of George Lucas and is thus a fictional character. Damn you, technicalities, damn you to hell.

But you just know that if we had him up front, rampaging and destroying opposition defences with his mere giant presence in both stature and personality, the rest of the team would need to find a new level of performance just to appease his big hairy feet. Because to not, would be beyond the realms of disrespect. Angry Wookie = trouble. If you thought Berbatov could sulk…

Chewie would no doubt need about a dozen storm-troopers marking him, and he'd be the one forcing them to run away in fear. In the unlikely event of us someone how signing Bellamy and covering him head to toe in super-glued grizzle bear fur, we're going to have to look at other options. And Craig is a touch short for the job in terms of height. Sorry Craig.

There's the possibility of out-sourcing. Comolli to scout the Dagobah system, perhaps? No Wookiee's to be found there, but I'm sure Damien would unveil Yoda as one for the future with the ability to elevate the team. Cue various dodgy grainy taken photos via mobile phones of Comolli, Yoda and agent sitting in a Burger King at the airport in plain sight agreeing terms.

Alas, back in the real world we have Jar Jar Binks leading from the front. So when exactly will the Tottenham strike back? Ah yes, an article full of lame Star Wars references weaker than a venomous Crouch shot.

Chewbacca signing for Spurs in a £23M deal? It aint happening. Some amongst you it wouldn't resolve our problems due to Chewie being slightly susceptible of a wandering mind and placing way too much emphasis on his heart than his mind. And much like that Bulgarian, God damn, can he be depressive. Russians are hard enough to manage, and the language barrier is going to be a nightmare. Then again, if players can just about make out what Robbie Keane bangs on about then perhaps I'm being a tad too harsh.

Having checked, Boba Fett and Darth Sidious are both unavailable and don't fancy the 50% tax with moves to England.

I've already touched on the necessity for a world class forward with an abundance of swagger in the previous blogs, and it's an echo of what we're all saying and hoping for. With van der Vaart arguably world class in terms of mental strength, technique and impact - if we had someone of similar ilk up front...and here we go again...it's ground-hog day. Close your eyes and imagine, and it will make you drool. Until January, if something does give way in terms of filling the gap, we still have to make do with what we have until the window re-opens.

So, what do we have exactly?

We know what Rafael gives us in terms of application and guile. We need him to give it to us away from home too. Luka is still on this perpetual road of mend to recapture the form we know he is capable of. Crafting and creating, starting the move from deep and playing killer balls in and around the box. When he does hit form, and he will soon, this will be huge for the team. Don't underestimate the difference between a 65% Luka and a 95% Luka. 100% Luka…and I'll be needing the smelling salts.

Bale has been granted a holiday, which is a cracking idea. Burn out, not an option - and with Manchester United away up next, we need him to be at his very best if Levy is going to rinse Fergie for £70M (Gareth's valuation goes up with each DML article that references him). Seriously though, Bale to United? You can't possibly believe the never-ending looping news articles covering this? Can you? Can you?

I find your lack of faith disturbing.

Lennon is continuing his rehabilitation, but his angry eyebrows would suggest he would much prefer Charlie behind him than Alan.

Crouch sort of doesn't but does assist vdV almost in an apologetic manner of just being there in the box. Basically, if he doesn't give away a free kick for simply breathing in the box, the ball might hit him or one of the defenders climbing up his legs and fall into the path of vdV. The Everton game, a perfect example. vdV expertly smashing the ball into the net from the magnetic ball to feet sent his way with the aid of the magical aura of Peter.

Any old excuse to re-post this.

One thing is for certain. It's not ideal having Crouchie up front in a 451. I'll admit it. Even if vdV has notched up five goals thus far. It's not Crouchie getting the goals. Whether it's hoof up to the lanky forward or to feet, it's not a tactic that is allowing for swash-buckle and that missing ingredient of intensity.

For the sake of hypothetical's, stick a Drogba, a Bellamy (hate to keep referring back to this git) or Chewbacca himself - and you just know that this would produce something extra. Something tangible in the way of a target. Because these ilk of players have plenty of ammunition and facets to their personality on the field. Drogba is a complete forward. Bellamy has tenacity and relentless annoyance (ironically, not a personal option due to his brittle bones, he's always injured, or at least it seems like he's always picking up knocks). And Chewbacca, cool and calm when required, but when required he simply doesn't give a sh*t and will f*ck you up.

Find the player, no matter the system, who can do the job. And the conundrum is surely solved. It is, isn't it?

Pause for thought.

And we're back again to the start. Ground-hog day.

Like I said, until Jan...we wait and in the mean time we hope we can find a rhythm and plenty of goals. It might come in the way of Defoe and his comeback. With his trademark power shots at goal. With vdV playing just off him. JD is more Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs than C-3PO waddle, so it's going to be interesting to see how it pans out.

As a footnote to all this (off the back of the Everton game), I should give a special mention to Sandro who really does look the part. Tidy player, knows his way around the pitch, effective and once he hits his stride, he's going to be very good for us. In time. He does appear to have the composure (in his head) to be a success for us and the Prem. Might not be flair, but has substance.

As for our former defensive man of unbreakable bricks, Wilson?

Palacios is a bit like the Death Star in Return of the Jedi. It's there patiently waiting with the power to destroy, but not quite turned on. Is it operational or isn't it? Is it a trap? An attempted trap? Or just a really bad attempt at controlling the ball? And time. Its a ticking. And if we don't get a move on, it could go belly-up as quickly as you can say 'fire a laser at that unguarded thing over there to blow it up, seriously, it's that frigging easy'.

We want our Wilson back. In fact, we want our Tottenham back. More of that Star Destroyer swagger than slow-brooding AT-AT.

And finally, having dragged the Star Wars franchise through the mud kicking and screaming (hey, it's just like being George Lucas!) if Bale needs a rest in future and there's no time for a beach holiday, then I have two words for ya. Just two words. Two names in fact. A first and second name.

Niko. Kranjčar.

He's not a jedi. He's a Croat.

Thanks for your time, and may the facere be with you.

To dare is to just do it

I see there have been plenty of discussion points in my absence from London town since Thursday.

Niko

Gutted he's out for the season (ankle injury thanks to that clown Michael Brown) and played on during the Cup semi-final in agony with said injury. Along with one or two other players, he's battled on through the pain barrier and really shown that we have players in the squad that do give their utmost in the name of Spurs. Huddlestone being one of the others, who I somehow forgot to mention in my NLD match report. So I'm mentioning him now.

And Ledders. Bionic Ledders.

Barry Glendenning / The Guardian

Media in shock 'WE ARE ANTI-SPURS' sensation. One or two bias reports doing the rounds and a podcast that might make you chuckle that has Glendenning suggesting one or two rather silly things. Seems that certain chants are only relevant and disgraceful and thus must be highlighted when sang by the White Hart Lane faithful and must be ignored completely and unequivocally if sang by any other set of fans. Behind closed doors apparently. Peter Andre could possibly write us a new chant that's easier on the ears?

Judas

Can the journalists and reporters who comment on the abuse Campbell gets when he plays us as 'disgraceful' please explain what makes the player so special that he should have be granted special dispensation? Why are football supporters, you know who they are, the one's who watch the game and don't play it (clue: not millionaires, eating bagels in the stands) suddenly being criticised for hurling the verbals towards a player who committed the cardinal sin in a world where most would like to dream that loyalty is a virtue that carries substance?

He lied. He left. He deserves the welcome he receives when he returns. Can't believe it's even a talking point. And yet it continues to be one.

I'm wondering. If Ledley King was white and left Spurs for Arsenal in his prime, would the Daily Mail and other tabloids even get involved? In fact, colour shouldn't be an issue, because Ashley Cole is equally abused on his return to Arsenal's cesspit and the media commentary is of a completely different nature to the one that surrounds Campbell's return or presence for anyone versus Spurs.

It's a conundrum that doesn't need to be solved. We all know it's bullshit. So I'll draw a line under it (again).

Danny Rose goal

It's still wonderfully majestic no matter how many times you watch it and regardless of the 'he should have punched the ball better' counter-arguments from some haters.

  comic by the ever-remarkable Chris Toy...click on the image for more.

Ian Poulter

Another contentious issue is the use of the term 'yid'. It's probably worthy of an article of it's own, but it's been done many times over and I'm pretty sure there was an awareness campaign that THFC did some years ago too. There are directors/fans at Spurs who don't like the term being used and although nothing can be done if 20,000 fans are chanting it - one fan can probably be removed or warned, if someone complains. We all know the history behind the adoption of it (to defuse the word being used in a derogatory fashion by opposing fans). Hence the self-referral. In some ways we have desensitised it. But it's very much a complex issue and it's one that becomes clouded when, let's say, another fan of an opposing team refers to us as 'yids'.

Is he referring to us by the name we choose to use? Or is the connotation a different ilk? It's in the delivery I guess. If a fan across the police divide screams 'You f*cking yids' at us, then there's no arguing the tone. Chelsea have thrown out a few of their fans in their home games for similar types of pleasantries.

But Poulter (he's a gooner and golfer if you didn't happen to know) is only guilty of being stupid enough to calls us 'yids' on Twitter because the media (and anyone who does take offence) will pick up on it. Anti-Semitic taunt, is what it was refereed us. Ho hum, another over-reaction to something that is undeserving of attention.

Self deprecation and acknowledgement of self deprecation anyone? No? Okay then.

Anyways, let's not lose sight of what's important here. We ruined his night. And he's a bit of a twat.

Bale

Bale. Bale. Bale. I have to mention this lad every week now. Mainly because everyone else was mentioning him every week for completely different reasons not so long ago. You know what I'm talking about. 23 games and all that. Where's his new contract?

Chelsea at the Lane

You'll have to forgive me. I'm shattered and have written all the above in one quick swoop before I go to bed and attempt to recover from a night spent in Swansea intoxicated with work colleagues and four Meerkats. Long story. So unless I manage to write something up in the morning, this will have to do for the match report:

Question. Do we have it in us to dig deep again, days after overcoming the enemy?

I reckon as long as we don't believe any unnecessary hype and simply do as we did last time out (To dare is to f*cking do, so just f*cking get on with it and do it) then we have a chance. A fighting chance. I reckon the game will be more open. Less ball watching from us - at least that will be our intention, but the physicality will no doubt be energy zapping and it's quite possible Chelsea might try to get us chasing them, hitting us on the counter. Would prefer the final 10 minutes not to be spent chewing my arm.

Hoping King plays. Suggestion is he will. Unclear on Lennon, even though some quarters are stating he's on the bench. We've got a decent record at home against them recently, so a point would be good. Three would be faint-inducing, but - and brave this one out - if we are left empty-handed it won't be the end. Mainly because of the other fixtures being played, but would prefer our destiny to be guided by our achievements rather than the failings of others. The potential failings. Shocks can disrupt proceedings, as some have recently discovered.

Wilson still banned. Corkula a no-go. Has Danny Rose recovered from his knock? Bare bones, Harry would have you know. All I ask is for the same guile and intelligence, the same heart and desire. And some of that magic and clinical punishment displayed in the NLD. And more of The Gomes Show please.

Another London derby. Another noisy day at the office. This is the life.

COYS.

Heroes and Villains - Part II

Continuing a casual look at the players achievements in 2009 and what we'd like to see in 2010.


Crouch - Hero (but not like Bruce Wayne, bit more like Rodney from Only Fools and Horses dressed as Robin)

I like Crouchie. He's a decent down to earth bloke with his head in the clouds. He's not a dreamer, just very tall. He knows his limitations and strengths and makes it work, as a foil, even if people shrug about his lack of goals. If Defoe is banging them in by virtue of playing up front with Peter, then it's the partnership that works and matters more than who is sticking them away - as long as someone is. Still, would be nice if he bagged a few more for himself. But we sort of knew this would be the case prior to him signing. But I'm not going to complain about something that makes me happy. And he does. He's not been out of his skin unbelievable, but he's done a good job and can play up front with whomever. He's a good option to have in there, although you do wonder  if we didn't would Pav have stepped up and settled into life in the Prem? You know, Pav being a £14M investment that wasn't fit to start in his first season and doesn't appear to be an option in his second.

Fact is, we have a variation of types as far as our forwards are concerned. And having someone who has tight foot control and causes panic in opposition areas is a good thing. The rest of our team have to remember to play to feet rather than hoof it up to him. Also, I live in the hope that one day a ref will work out that just because someone is tall, doesn't mean that every time he jumps up for the ball with an opposition player it’s an automatic free kick against him.

Do more in 2010: Over-head kicks. Have we had one yet?
Do less of in 2010: Hoofing the ball up to him. Everyone knows, robots can't jump.

Defoe - Hero

Cracking player. Has matured thanks to that loan spell at Pompey and he's in the form of his life. This guy has a love affair with Spurs. It's his spiritual home. He's a goal-scorer. He's hungry for it and he has a point to prove and in World Cup year he is not only in complete control of his destiny, he's in the front seat driving at speed towards South Africa. Essex police, catch him if you can.

Offside? Offside I hear you cry? Jermain Defoe is never offside, he's so fast he creates an illusion that he's moved before the ball has and the assistant referee reacts to it by raising his flag. Whether JD lashes them or flicks them past, his form has validated Harry and the decision to let Darren Bent go. We need one goal scorer and we need him to be able to play a part in a footballing side, rather than just run onto balls over the top.

We've been waiting for a while to see JD step up a level. And he's finally done that. 20 goals would be a good target.

Do more in 2010: Remain focused. Don't take it for granted.
Do less of in 2010: Lay off the c-list celeb WAGS.

Kranjcar - Hero. Sexy Hero

Not that long ago we had a player at Spurs. He was top drawer. Had that shirt tucked out socks rolled down swagger about him. Tottenhamesque in every way. Flair, magic on the ball and an understated arrogance. An almost likeable arrogance. None of that third-rate stuff you get from the Arsenal players who posture like the universe was a stage created for their fronting. No. This is altogether a different type of arrogance. A 'hey, look, I just did something amazing and I hope you liked it, because I liked doing it, and it was done for you' arrogance. Ginola.

And then we found ourselves with Berbatov. A would-be-king who renounced the throne in spectacular fashion to became a court jester in a far away land (harsh, but fair).

Niko could be the next in-line. Some scoffed when he signed, concerned he was too inconsistent and lacked fight. Okay, so defensively he won't offer too much - but neither did Ginola or Berbatov. In a team where we will always look towards Modric for that little piece of magic, we have someone else who can take responsibility. Another unlocker of doors. The wonderful thing for me here is that when he was signed he wasn't fully fit. And as he worked towards regaining match fitness he played his part with cameos, with many impatient. Harry guided him into team affairs with care and attention. And he's slotted in near perfectly. This is what we like at the Lane. A player with class, oozing with every touch. And if continues to play and score we might just have a goal-scoring outlet from midfield.

Do more in 2010: Swagger, creation and craft. And more goals.
Do less of in 2010: Sit on the bench.

Huddlestone - Incredible Hero

Love him or hate him, Harry has done what most of us have wanted. He's stuck Hudd in the midfield and practically started him for every match. We've always banged on about whether Tommy is cut out for a central midfield job. He's not mobile enough, he's easily bullied, he's too slow. And yet there he stands. And whether we like it or not (some people take it personally) he isn't doing too bad of a job. I find myself swaying between opinions. Much like Jenas, he promises a lot. But then it's easy to forget that Tom has only just turned 23. He's a kid. Feels like he's been around for an age. So, for someone so young, arguably he is doing more than just fine. Note the improvements to his defensive game. I've seen it, with my own eyes, Carrickesque nicking of the ball off players. He gets given the ball (often from the likes of Dawson) and as a deep lying midfield turns defence into attack with a forward pass, spread 30 or so yards to feet.

Okay, he can sometimes get lost in the middle. But development wise, there is no better place for him than starting against Wilson. If this kid is going to make it, best he does playing in Lilywhite and best he does so playing week in and week out. We are 4th. At the half way stage. And he's a first team player. I guess the reality of it is this: Huddlestone works.

He's got a triffic shot on him, so a bit of target practice and we might just have another goal-scoring midfielder on our hands.

On the flip side, as mentioned, he gets lost in the middle. If the game doesn't suit his style. If he has no time on the ball. This is actually a problem, because if the opposition are in his face up-tempo then he is practically rendered redundant. Hence the reason why there is both love and hate for the boy.

So, when the game suits him - he's brilliant. When it doesn’t, its best not spoken about. From incredible hero to incredible zero.

Do more in 2010: Score. Brilliant volley skillz. Needs to hit target more often. And has to show signs of adapting.
Do less of in 2010: Mayo and ketchup.



Pavlychenko, Bassong, Corluka, King, Assou-Ekotto, Woodgate, Bale, Lennon, Keane, Modric, Giovani, Hutton and Dawson to follow...

Read the concluding part here.

Spurs 3 City 0 - Spare a thought for Noel Gallagher

How should we do this? I'm thinking we dance a merry jig. Okay, so City failed to turn up and make a game of it. Not our problem. When we fail to do the same the opposition get all the credit for the manner of the victory and tags like 'bottled it', 'lack of mental strength' and 'not good enough' are handed out to our wounded troopers. So when we dish out such a comfortable spanking to a side beaten just once in the Prem this season, it should be embraced and enjoyed as much as a 1-0 defeat at home is frowned upon with distain.

Congratulations Harry and the players. You stood up and you asserted yourselves. Even when City had possession, they lacked any sort of cutting edge. Yes, cutting edge, that oh so important element that has let us down in the past couple of games. We had it in swaggering bursts yesterday evening. Love it when we dick this lot. I guess Noel will probably console himself with another radio broadcast with his mate Russell Brand. At least Liam was always game for a laugh. RIP Oasis. RIP City. Well not quite, but definitely maybe over the 94 minutes played out at WHL.

It wasn't quite a dismantling, mainly because of City and their lacklustre effort. But it was professional and determined (from us) and the result never in doubt. Effortless really. The came to attack, failed to do so with any menace, meaning we had the space and time to craft and create. We were by no means slick, sometimes sloppy, but a 3-0 is a 3-0. Comprehensive. We didn't even bother with a sub until the 89th minute.

Oh, go on then, we outclassed them. Happy days.

Krancjar was ridiculously sexy. Had a touch of the Ginolas about him. Movement, passing, finishing. Almost forgot little Luka was sat on the bench looking on. We are being spoilt. All this for £2.5M. And I'm positively salivating at the prospect of perhaps seeing Moddle in the centre with Palacios and Niko retaining his role on the left.

Lennon was unplayable©. Tore City (Sylvinho) to shreds with ample ease. And he wasn't just beating the opposition. His final ball was deliciously accurate. End product that. He is in the form of his life, and there's no argument - England's best 'right-winger'. Sorry Theo, you can keep your pretty girlfriend and bum fluff on chin. It's all about the shaved eyebrows. Substance and style.

Others also impressed. Dawson awesome. Which is becoming a bit of a habit, the show-off. Handball incident (was it/wasn't it on purpose?) but otherwise yet another performance filled with Le Passion. He loves to care and we love to love him. Once upon a time he needed Ledley by his side to guide him through 90 minutes. Nowadays, captains armband strapped on, he leads by example. He's all grown up. About time, considering he's 26. The big daft lad.

BAE was impressive and confident on the ball. The epitome of calm. Bonus nutmeg on Adebayor, delightful. Unconfirmed reports that the fan who abused him last Saturday showered Benny with roses as he left the pitch as they exchanged kisses.

Bassong, steady and strong. Corluka continuing to work well with Lennon. He wasn't perfect on the night. But no big moan. And Gomes, earning his wages when called upon to shot-stop. Didn't really have that much to do other than watch a couple of half chances fly over the bar. Saved well from Petrov's free-kick. Easy evening.

Huddlestone, wasteful with his shooting, but productive in central midfield as far as his defensive duties were concerned. He didn't quite impose himself with Hulkish posturing and quarter-back splitting passing but did what he had to do to make sure City never got a foothold. Quietly decent.

Wilson was efficient with the tackles, in fact he was better than good at times. Did a proper number on the City players. Okay, so his passing remains inconsistent and frustrating, but he had decent enough moments. Better than he has been and fingers crossed he'll continue to improve. Blackburn up next, so expect his 5th yellow card to be dished out in that game - meaning we'll have to live without him in the game that follows.

As for our double-act up front, lovely. Defoe still needs to work on his off-sides (I'm sure half the time he's actually on-side) but his finishing (lashes them) remains superb and his hold up play equally impressive. Crouch was busy. Okay, so he's not scoring but he links up impressively with JD and others. He's involved.
 
Damn it. There is little to complain about.

This is what we missed against Wolves. Simple confident football from a side playing like a team, complimenting
each others strengths going forward and never panicking or allowing room for complacency once ahead. Patiently waiting to pick off the opposition.

The goals?

(1-0) Tottenham branded football this. Niko feeds Lennon on the right who ghosts past Sylvinho like Casper on roller-skates and then crosses to the head of Crouch. A second of mess, as the header hits Stephen Ireland, and the ball presents itself to Niko (having started the move) who smacks it into the goal.

(2-0) Second half and game over with a move started by Gomes. Kicked to Crouch (again) who flicks the ball over Toure (having beaten Onuoha to get to it) and JD is there to send it into the top corner from close range. Now that's how to finish.

(3-0) The type of defending to leave Alan Hansen with a nerve-shattering combo of night terrors and sleep paralysis. Three City defenders standing guard whilst we take a short corner. Lennon threads the ball to Niko, leaving the three of them redundant, and then mugs Adebayor off by dancing past him and hitting the ball through the legs of the hapless Given. Brilliant moment, capping off a sublime performance - from player and team.

As for City (our Top 4 rivals)? Didn't really turn up did they? Robinho is laughable away from home. What's meant to be his role? Midfielder, attacking midfielder, forward? One thing he failed to do (no shock) was aid Sylvinho. Tevez, full of energy but little direction. Adebayor was pretty much non-existent which was great. But it's okay, he's bound to re-discover his form again when City next play Arsenal. Ireland and Barry did well with their defensive duties. Excuses I'm hearing is de Jong 'had' swine-flu and Barry was playing with an injury. Riiiight. Ok den.

There appeared to be no fluidity with the way City attacked. The balance in their side isn't quite there yet. Not making that assumption based on this one game. But Harry is right. They will be a threat, simply because they will be able to throw money at anything that moves and most probably replace Hughes with a more special type of manager.

Loved the chanting and baiting. Also loved Robbie Keane (you'd have spotted this if you re-watched the Sky Sports coverage of the game) shaking the hands of the players at the start of the second half and offering encouragement. He's good for moral even if we spend our time questioning his own.

Does it change anything? Are we back in the race for 4th? We were never out of it. This season will continue to surprise and shock. Twists, turns and turnips will grab the headlines with each passing week. We'll be involved, not only because the stronger teams are not so strong anymore but because we do posses the players to challenge the weaker of the strongest. To keep ahead of the likes of Villa, Liverpool and City we'll simply need to make sure we build on these types of results. Win away to Blackburn and that will be another step towards total belief. Lose it and it’s a shrug and a dust off and we'll have to start over. It's that type of season.

Consolidation is the key.

A defensive midfielder and a centre back thank you please. And if either has leadership qualities, that will do to just fine too.

COYS.

9-1. Frolicsome. Lap it up.

Unbelievable, I'm still trembling with glee on the back of this epic buzz. What a result. What a result. Jedward, finally voted off the X-Factor. Superb. Oh, and Spurs won 9-1.

In my match preview, I made one or two simple requests:

We need the team to give us a confident performance. That’s one that sees us play well, dominate possession and swagger it with tasty end product. One that keeps us 4th in the table.

No banana skin frolics or daft defending.

Prediction? I'm going for a home win.

Honestly chaps, 3-0 would have done me just fine. No complaints about the dismantling of lickle Wigan. We were lethal, clinical and swaggered around like pimps in fur coats gripping diamond studded canes. It's all about the game, and we were game on. There have been plenty of teams who have defended shockingly in the past but the opposition still has to punish them for it. These type of results don't happen often. It's a rare combination that includes not just the welcomed ingredient of the opposition crumbling under the pressure but for the side dishing out the spanking to be completely on fire, all cylinders positively bursting. We deserved what we got and the same can be said of Wigan. They simply couldn't handle the hot Spurs.

Lennon was irresistible, tearing it up, dribbling, hugging the touchline, cutting in, teasing, pin-point crossing, assist after assist after assist. Unplayable. Niko schemed, play-making to his hearts content which included one moment of brilliance that saw him flick the ball over a defenders head and then play a perfect 30 yard pass (obviously with the outside of his foot) into the path of Defoe who had his shot saved. One of the rare occasions that JD wasn't wheeling away to celebrate. Five goals, only the 3rd time a Prem player has achieved such a feat, which included a 7 minute hat-trick. Ridiculous. Even David Bentley managed a worthy cameo, hitting a splendid free-kick (that came back off Chris Kirkland and in) and setting up Niko for the 9th. And to think it was 1-0 at half time.

3-D special edition dvd blatantly in post-production.

Keane sat out the game on the bench (conspiracy clause theory RIP) with JD and Crouch leading the front-line. Hudd with Wilson in the middle, Azza back on the right and Niko starting on the left. The depressives amongst us would pose the question…where's the strength in the middle? Having Palacios as the only defensive player considering the way Sunderland outplayed us last time out might have left a few scratching heads over our potential fragility. But no repeat concerns here. We started well and other than perhaps the latter stages of the first half looked to be in control. Lennon tormenting Edman and crossing for Crouch for 1-0 as early as the 9th minute. Solid stuff. Dare I say balanced? Ok, so the opposition wasn't world-class, but neither was Stoke at the Lane and looked what happened there.

This was simply the perfect performance for the occasion. Devestating.

Relentless pace on one side and sexual football on the other. Aaron and Niko bossed it. A goal-assisting factory, oozing out chance after chance after chance - effortlessly. The passing, crossing, movement was stand-up-on-your-feet majestic at times. Best individual performance of the season thus far from our little rude-boy on the wing. As for Kranjčar? Offensively and defensively sublime. You want swagger bottled up and branded? Look no further than this cracking Croat who had the Ginolas about him as he owned the White Hart Lane turf. Although ownership is a trinity, completed by the irresistible Defoe who bagged himself five (1-2-3-4-5). Faultless display, ruthlessly punishing the luckless Wigan back-line who seemed to collapse on point every time JD moved. He was bang on it, not just with his finishing but his all-round play. That loan spell at Pompey was a masterstroke.

And in the middle a welcomed return to form for our General, breaking up any faint hope of opposition momentum to his hearts content. A defensive paragon of bricks. And let's not forget Tommy Huddlestone. Oh yes. No QE2 jokes. The big man was in his element. Top drawer passing, unlucky not to score. This is the type of game where you forget about any weakness and wish that all opposing teams wore bright orange. If you're wondering, Jenas was on the bench (and not eaten by Tom as part of his pre-match meal) but came on very late in the game, too late to make an impact. Maybe more faith is required on my part in future relating to the conundrum that is the Hudd, as Harry has no qualms in selecting him.

You can hardly fault anyone on the day. Crouch was busy. The defence strong and organised. You know it's a cracking day at the office when forgotten man Bentley shines with a goal (ok, ok, OG) and an assist.

As for the Wigan goal? Hand-ball. Replay? Go on then, why not. Defoe might even manage a double-hat-trick.

8 goals scored in the second half. 5 goals from one man,  3 of them in a 7 minute spell. Lovely. Tottenham Hotspur. She's like a stunning looking girlfriend who too often complains about headaches as you lay in bed despondent, and then makes up for it by fucking your brains out and leaving you jelly-legged on cloud nine.

Also, special mention to Darren Bent.

Good weekend innit?