The Theatre of Tears
Friday, October 29, 2010 at 12:22PM Continuing on from this, United truly wind me up. But equally, so do Spurs on occasions (so many occasions) when they allow self-defeatism to drag them towards the inevitable empty points haul that we leave Old Trafford with.
The last time we won there can probably be found in the depths of the Spurs Shop store room on a dusty Betamax in a damp corner. Long forgotten about other than the mouse chewing away at the tape. Until said mouse notices a far more appetising VHS.
So with no Howard Webb in the equation, what will give way and will it give way our way?
Potential scenarios (based on historical depression):
1) We start brightly, pressure United, score, United come back into it, make it 1-1, we go on the back-foot and then go 2-1 down, and then United score a third to kill us off.
2) It's a scrappy match, both teams struggling to get a stranglehold on the midfield, United get a penalty which they score, the game continues to be scrappy, United get another goal, this one a screamer from about 30 yards out. Misery. Heads down. Still nothing since 1989.
3) United steam-roll us, we never get into the game. They turn it on. Tabloids proclaim the return of majestic form for the biggest club in the universe.
4) We score a legitimate goal which gets disallowed for no apparent reason other than incompetence. And lose 1-0 to goal from a defensive lapse.
5) We start brightly, take the lead, then take a position that suggests there is simply no way back for them and then we…choke. Textbook 'flatter to deceive' performance which sees United shove us aside nonchalantly as we fall back to our textbook position - on our arse at OT. Four or five home goals. Match of the Day removed from Sky+ series link.
6) We turn up. Boss the midfield. Play with confidence and belief. Score. Score again. Remain strong. Make clever tactical substitutions. United get a goal back. But it's too late. We win. We end our miserable away to a 'top 4 side' record. Spurs fans across the forums and blogs of the internet rejoice with suggestions that one striker in Jan will mean = title contenders. Fans in the away end French-kiss. I get a tattoo on my back of Harry eating the Champions League trophy. Man Utd fans in tears, Bale signalling to the home crowd 'I will never join Utd, you prawn loving losers', whilst Modric plants a flag in the centre-circle of a Cockerel and ball.
I've stuck £1000 on number 6. This is the best chance we've had in years of getting something up there. Sure, I'm not naive enough to believe United are suddenly worthless, far from it. They have enough players of quality on their day to beat anyone - even with their light-weight midfield and lack of Rooney circa 2009. The difference is, we've improved. Probably not massively this season in terms of stepping up a gear, but this game on Saturday, its one that can define our season for sure.
Step up Harry. Step up Bale, Modric, Huddlestone, van der Vaart, Lennon. Sandro. No matter who starts. Step up Crouch or Pav (I've sort of ruined the speech now haven't I?). Step up not just guile and tenacity - but for once, let's see some of that relentless never say die we're going to beat you any which way we can belief that them in the Red we face churn out season after season.
Get in their faces. Invade their personal space. Show no respect. Dish out to them what they routinely dish out to us. And never - not for a second - take a single moment for granted, no matter the score.
Want to play in the big boys playground? You need to kick 'em in the nuts first, show them you can handle the pace. Make their eyes water.
To dare is to stick it up the bollix of Berbatov. COYS.
Reader Comments (119)
Probable United line up
Van der Sar
Brown
Evra
Ferdinand
Vidic
O'Shea
Nani
Scholes
Fletcher
Berbatov
Hernandez
All decent enough players but this is not the United of 1999 or even 2009.
We have nothing to fear from this lot.
Write off this weekend - do something else, anything else! If they scrape a draw you can always watch MOTD.
I've got a tenner on 6. Not quite as brave as you spooky.
Why on earth would the footballing Gods smile on our sorry souls?
3-1 United.
Sorry guys,
But I have a feeling that this is going to be another 'oh so close' visit. Not saying that we will lose, but again I don't think we will win
I just think that with the inter game next week, our man VDV and probably one or 2 others are going to be holding back a bit at OT...especially in the 2nd half and as we naturally slow starters I can't see the signs are looking too good. Even if this is probably one of the worst MU teams we have faced...they'll find some way of getting something out to of the game..creditable 1-1 draw perhaps but not win I think
Hope I'm wrong
was there as a lil lad in 89 (first spurs game ever)... have we really not won at OT since ?
promised the other half that i will behave at the pub on Saturday so we'll go and watch the game , but if we win i'll break that promise and go mental ...
There is always hope except when going to OT , but as a fan you always hope somewhere deep inside even though you try to ignore it
Said it before , hope is like opium for a spurs fan
Faith.
2-1 shocker from Spurs. I can see vdV excelling in this game and Spurs pinging the ball about. Game will be won by moments of brilliance and the midfield tussle.
beautiful Spooky, just beautiful.
United to continue winning until we sign a new striker
Nani vs BAE I think will be the key to this game. Nani has been on fire and Ekotto has ... well .. To his credit, Ekotto has looked good going forward - even in the Inter game. But I doubt he will be doing much of that tomorrow.... Ultmately I think it will be best defence wins tomorrow.
Cue stupid mistake at the back and we scrape a 1-1.
Krankie to start.
Please?
"whilst Modric plants a flag in the centre-circle of a Cockerel and ball." LOVE IT !
There are two facets to my personality that combine beautuflly for any game away at one of Sky's favourite teams.
a) I am eternal pessimist when it comes to Spurs
b) I love being proved wrong.
avoided disappointment guaranteed.
So, 2-0 United....
It doesn't matter what line up united put put out, evenn if it is perceivably weak. With utd u always face a highly organised and well drilled side. The most important man to watch out for is fergie. He's the man that make it happen. Unless we deploy Joe Jordan to eliminate him, it will be another tough game where we will probably have to go through patches of not touching the ball for a while. I'm hoping that the San auto game will have had an effect on some players attitudes in that they've now played against arguably the best side in Europe at an intimidating ground so united away should be less awe inspiring.
Fucking iPhone predictive text!
Heart says we can win.....
Head says the universe wll conspire against us, definite defeat! :(
Harry's team talk should get the players prepared for the following:
The referee will make appalling decisions.
We'll have a goal disallowed.
We'll have someone sent off.
We'll go behind at some point.
But keep your heads up and play for 95mins. 'cos they've let leads slip this season and it can become a habit.
PS If we win and if someone fancies getting collared, I'd love to see someone plant a spurs flag in their centre circle - appearance on MOTD guaranteed.
Got a feeling that it will be a draw - Keep Bale at LM not like last year when we changed things around
Utd have leaked late goals and we've scored late ones (inter the prime example)
Please dear god let No 6 be the one - flag planting 'n all
For 20 years I have looked upon these games away to the big boys as bonus games, 99% certain to lose so why worry about it. Although we have improved over the last few years, i will still look at Man u, Chelsea & Arse away as bonus games, so I wont watch it, read about it or anything, it never happened .............. 2.0 United.
I think that the reason we are all pushed this year is that we KNOW we should win this game. Regardless of all the reverse psycho stuff, we ARE SUPPOSED to win this game because we ARE that good. Now is the time to kick on and make teams pay real attention. Its the LOSER mentality in us that is trying to rationalise everything because until Fergie time is blown, we will not know.
This we do know. If at 3-nil down at half time, we will win or at least draw. That has been Spurs this season. What they know is that if at 3-nil up at half time, they will lose or at least draw. That has been United this season.
Whats gonna bother me is if we are leading 3-nil at halftime. Can we kill off the ghosts of the past and muscle on to a 5-nil???????
@ nayim - WTF are you?? Imposter!!! Anyway, there is as much chance of VDV holding back at OT as there is of Spooky holding back from anologies!
I expect at least one disallowed goal/blatant penalty not given (or a blatant non-penalty given....) and some Manc nobody like Brown to smack one if from 40yards.
I also expect VDV to play a blinder and Palacios to come on and soon after, a Manc to leave, on a stretcher.
Such is life...
Niko to start? We can only dream. I really miss his coolness and effortless swagger.
No Hudd.
http://www.tottenhamhotspur.com/news/articles/team-news-291010.html
Hudd needs to be there with Sandro. Pav needs to be starting striker. Subs, Crouch, Palacious and Krank.
No King either. I worry about us defensively especially if Gallas starts. Charlie rb, kaboul center with Bassong, BAE on the left. Would be happier with that.
I saw the headline and actually thought it was entitled
The theatre of "Tears"
I know it reads the same, but rather than tears as in crying, I thought it was tears as in ripping up a contact saying "no matter how much we humiliate you in the match, be it 3 up by half time or just by totally dominating you throughout the game, we 'Tottenham Hotspur PLC' herein referred to as 'Spurs', agree to enable your team 'Manchester United PLC' back into the game, to result in a draw, or a victory no matter how large the deficit".
Any wriiten or unwritten contracts, previously signed (in blood) to the (red) Devil(s) should immediately be torn up by a team of knights adorned in white tomorrow.
"And again Arry said to Rafael van der Vaart: 'Bind 'Yanited' hand and foot, and cast them into the darkness: and make an opening in the desert, which is in Manchester, and in their goal cast the ball therein. And place upon them rough and jagged shots from all directions, and cover them with darkness so that they may not see our attack, and let them abide there for ever, and cover their faces that they may not see light. And on the day of the great judgment at the end of the season, they shall be cast into the fire outside of a Champions League placing."
I'd like to see the following tomorrow (might actually be going....my wife and my mum are acting very strange and me and dad are being kept in the dark - he's a manure fan)
1. Berbatov being carried off on a stretcher....because he's laughing so hard at himself for leaving us for that lot of decomposing waste)
2. Us to win ...doh!
3. Pav to start ahead of Crouch
4. Bale at LB
5. Charlie at RB
But i've a bad feeling we'll be on the end of a 2-0 with chickpea (great little player) scoring both in 2nd half with Crouch being little more than a wandering flagpole and Hutton showing us what a great attacking rb he is with the positioning awareness of a 4 year old.
Anyone know if Tevez is likely to play this weekend?
Trembly, you continue to spoil us.
Gallas and Bassong to start.....as I said earlier....best defence wins..... I like Kranjcar - really do. But I cannot see this is a game that he can start in. We need pace on the wings - so Lennon and Bale. No hudd - so do we think Sandro is ready for the cauldron of fire? Or will we revert to Jenas? Has to be Crouch up top - even though we know he won't score - but he may tee up someone else.
Obviously, I would love to see scenario 6 pan out for us; however, pessimism has gotten the best of me and I think scenario 3 is in the works. Hope I'm extremely off the mark here.
COYS!!!!!!!!
We tend to concede early these days, so United to go one up. Kick up the arse works and we pull level with some good stuff. Half time. United batter us for twenty minutes after the break courtesy of the hairdryer. Spawny goal puts United back in front (probably Berbatov, lucky deflection, bad refereeing or laughable defensive cock-up). Heads drop, third goes in at injury time.
with Thud out, I can see Willy P and Moddle in the middle, Bale, Lennon spreading their wings, Lurch up front (please let it be Pavlova), thun-der fart in the hole, with Willy Goaless & Kaboul in a china shop at CB, Mutton and Asshole Ekotto fullbacks, and Gnomes waving his arms behind them all.
Sandra can come on for Willy P when he's booked after kicking shit out of anything in red.
Kranc to come on when Modric signs a pre-nup with Fergie at half time, and Genus to come on when he's remembered how the rest of his family spell his name.
i guess the only real negative if we lose is that our best players will have an opportunity to perform at their best in front of a worldwide audience so they can get poached to other clubs....potential scenarios based on historical depression.. i remember when west ham won 1-0 up there..di canio got the goal..and fabian barthez tried to trick di canio into thinking the ref had already blown the whistle or the linesman had waved for offside...ha ha ha.....step forward tottenham hotspur...and cheat and whinge..and fallover in the penalty box...by hook or by crook its only a game so dont worry about cheating..ha ha ha...coys
I think we have every reason to be confident going into this game. Great time to catch united in my opinion. They're on the back of two softs wins in a terrible run of form overall, so they've some (false) confidence. Modric, bale and Van Der Vaart could all be playingmore often in Old trafford if the press are to be believed along with Thudd and Wilson apparently. The reason these players are linked with UTD is because they are better than the current crop of Red Devils. Simple as. The only thing that will conspire to defeat us is our own dis-belief or own self defeatism as Spooky puts it and maybe a dodgy referring decision.
I have a feeling Spookys prediction (No 6 please) will come in, what with it being Halloween and that-is that the mystery behind the name Spooks? You birthday on Sunday??? Born with 666 in the back of your head???
I'll get £10 on it and go f-ing mental if it comes in!!!
For what it's worth I have a feeling big tom will smash in a thunderbolt!
COYS
So it's United away, last time we beat one of the so called big four (Unitl last season :) ) away 1993.....at Anfield.
This is a shocking stat when you look at it. But this is the past so there is no point thinking about it although it's in the papers etc. Spurs players have to forget about that stat and try and play at their best level. Surely after the San Siro Spurs shouldn't fear anyone away from home. They must be mentally strong and try their best.
I really hope the officials don't lets us down, how about things go our way for once? That would be nice.
Shame Hud isn't playing, we missed him last week.
Oh yeah BALE has to play left wing!!! None of this left back nonsense like last year. Surely we won't see that again.....even if Fergie does try and call Harry and ask for favour. The answer is NO he plays left wing!
One of the best blog posts yet. The 6 points couldn't be more spot on, well, 5 of them anyway. Hilarious but sadly true.
I think as a Spurs fan of the last 23 years I have unfortunately adopted a mentality that if we lose against Man Utd I feel unsurprised. I always feel we can win but then get disappointed, shrug it off and say to myself "It's Utd, it's no surprise we lost". Well, I want to rid myself of that negativity, why should I feel less upset about losing to Utd than I do about losing to Wigan? It's still a loss so FUCK them and their record, I will show emotion whatever.
(please let that emotion be unbridled joy)
COYS!
Gomes
Ekotto
Kaboul
King (If fit)
Hutton
Bale
Sandro
Modric / Palacios / JJ (Not sure about this one)
Lennon
Vaart
Crouch
Hello fellow Spurs fans and depressives.
If there is a game that is calling out for Palacios to rediscover his game face this is it. Spurs should treat this like the game up at Eastlands last season. I know its early in the season and I know if you look back at last season, we got spanked by all three of the top 4 sides early on and still recovered but this time round we should place a marker down. 2-1, 5-4, 1-0 I dont care. As long as we win.
Never beaten a top 4 team away so we wont win okay
We have beaten a top four team away. We hadn't beaten Chelsea for years and then beaten them the last couple of years at Spurs. These runs can come to an end. We have the best squad we have had for donkeys years.
Pristar - a bit harder to beat a top four side away now that we have reduced the chance by becoming one of them!
We beat City way.
True words Tony Tott. Spurs are going to have to watch Hernandez, he looks a real handful, and so quick.
is he the one they call Cucaracha, or Chorizo sausage or whatever it is? Kaboul in a china shop will put him in his pocket.
Getting dicked is what we do best at Old Trafford. Anyone else wondering why we've been screwed over again with the time of this game what with CL on Tuesday? Or is that stretching it?
I know what you mean Killjoy, but aren't United playing Tuesday as well?
I love it when my two least favourite teams play, can't wait!
I already know you watch your team more than me but from an outside perspective I think you'll be best off making it a midfield scrap and keeping it 0-0 for as long as possible then trying to nick one at the end.
Every time you start a big game well and score first it seems to bring out the worst in your players (usually a wierd mix of nerves and a subconciouss acceptance they've done enough) - and they stand off the rest of the game until a goal or two behind, and then can't get the momentum back. It would doubtless be the same tomorow, and so far you've struggled to fully control most your games on the front foot, let alone Man U - but I think if you keep it tight and scrap you'll be able to compete and could nick a win.
Also Huddlestone won't be a loss, he usually lets his head drop and invites pressure in these games for you, you'll benefit from the increased running power in there.
My guess at Harry's team for tommorrow:
Gomes
Mutton/Alas/Kaboom/A&E
Lennon/Wilson/Modders/Kranjcar
VdV
Ouch
Hate to say it but that defence doesn't strike me as one capable of keeping a clean sheet at OT
he might play basson with Allas in CB, with Kaboom at RB?