How to lose points and ailenate fourth spot

Bolton 4 Spurs 2

My initial gut reaction to Saturdays could not be arsed performance in the majesty of the cathedral of football (the Reebok Stadium) was simply this: Harry Redknapp…why?

I appreciate that we shall never defeat the conspiracy (oh look another early Saturday kick-off straight after a Champions League game) but that was no excuse to just shrug at the prospect of perhaps claiming something tangible up at Bolton, were historically we get as much action as Cliff Richard. So no shocker, cometh the final whistle. No celebrations either, just footballing celibacy. Our players displaying the type of effort you'd expect from a walk on a beach mid summer holiday.

Should my knees begin to jerk ever so slightly? Or should I continue to whistle a gleeful tune and dance nervously holding up a sign that reads 'The End is not Nigh, So Stop Fretting'. Am I  ignoring the evidence of domestic degradation of consistent form and backbone? Do I rely too much on the varied weaknesses that are displayed by opposing (rival) sides with each passing week as a reason to remain optimistic? Do we - as a supporting collective - add more weight to our results than when we look across at other teams where perhaps we rationalise and exaggerate and gloss over the importance of their results in comparison? Is our squad depth not at depthy as it would suggest? Regardless of the dizzying questions, there are only two that matter at this still early juncture of the season.

What's broken and how do we fix it?

Or perhaps it's better worded as; how have we broken it and why isn't it getting fixed?

Perhaps things are not quite broken, they're just not in full working order.

We are erratic. The side is hardly ever settled in terms of juggling between league and Europe. Injuries confirm that as sublime as our first team can be, when we lose certain key players we lack cohesiveness and this has a knock-on effect with other commonly required footballing essentials (intensity, desire, focus etc). But even with a storming first team (on paper) we've disappointed in the league still. 451 works in Europe. Doesn't quite sex up at home.

Parts of the team - when the team is not at full strength (or as full strength as selection can allow) are at  times found out and thus has a detrimental effect on the rest of the side. Our defence guilty as charged. Against Bolton (who were not that good) we gifted them goals (regardless of the first being offside) because we managed to be even worse than them.

I said my initial gut reaction was to blame the gaffer, and I still do, but the players have quite a bit to answer for in terms of ye olde mental strength. But then it all goes back to the erratic selection which births lack of rhythm and style from one game to the next. We play our best football and best players in Europe. It's time we shared the wealth with the mundane task of finishing fourth. Before that ship sails and we're left drowning in shark infested waters. Or something equally grim.

So what went wrong at the Reebok? Easy peasy:

- 451 when there is no van der Vaart to accommodate. So why bother with 451?
- Crouch up top on his own. Why didn't Pav start? We are struggling with goals from our strikers in the league, so you do the math - two is better than one. There is no dynamic movement when pushing forwards and although Crouch and Pav is less Batman and Robin and more Rodney and Del Boy, it's the better and more obvious option to go with the two of them. Pav - for the record - has notched seven goals in all comps this season. That's from six starts and nine substitutions. His league record overall is rubbish (53 apps, 13 goals). So can we just tell him it's a cup game (21 apps, 18 goals) every time we play?'
- No flow and support structure in key areas (i.e. Hutton and Niko hardly a passable execution of 'how to support a team-mate')
- Sandro and Wilson in the starting line-up? Really? One newbie finding his feet and one oldie who has managed to lose his.
- Huddlestone on the bench. Stamps his authority on the game when he eventually comes on. Fails to wrap his boots around a decent pass.
- Kranjcar given a start which he does nothing with. Bentley on the other hand displays 'glimpses' of decency which is a little bit like saying, 'Look ma, he's star-jumping AND winking at the same time'.
- Wait to go three down before showing urgency.
- Complete lack of character, which is either the last dying remnants of the culture of comfort that almost destroyed this club or something isn't quite working in terms of prioritising the importance of climbing the table.
- Play badly to make opponents look good and yet almost  get back into it late on. Botheredness, the Spurs way.
- Keep dropping/losing points when it's even more obvious that this season is going to be less of a challenge to finish 4th than last season IF…IF IF IF…we attain the same standard of football we played at last season.
- No insight or astute pre-game analysis or tactical master planning of the opposing side. It's all very 'I'll select eleven players and hope they gel for ninety minutes'.
- Lack of in-game insight/astuteness and tactical re-shaping of the opposing side. It's okay to be reactive. That's 'reactive' to the game and opposition BEFORE we go three down.

Not frigging rocket science is it? And yet the same mistake(s) are made every few weeks.

We are up for the European adventure, and not so up for concentrating on league form. There might be a subconscious shared thought in the club that has everyone thinking we might not get a chance in the CL again for another two or three years so let's enjoy it and let's make our mark. Daniel Levy appreciates this as he's well aware that long term planning is vital and he won't go loopy for the sake of the short term. But considering how obvious our problems are, speculating in early 2011 would make the double challenge of home and away far more achievable than it stands at the minute.

The short term win can make the long term far more comfortable and we can stop looking around and concerning ourselves with the form of others and leave them to concern themselves with our form.

So panic? Don't bother. Not yet. Honestly, we still have some sand left in the hour glass.

We are not playing well but we are in there in terms of points and position. Sure, we are closer to the bottom than the top and the next three games are vital because if we win our home games (Sunderland/Rovers) and get something off the scum then we'll have gone from weeds to blossoming Lily's. If we don't then panic. PANIC PANIC PAAAAAANIC.

There is a point in the season where we (I) can't keep saying - we are still within touching distance. We have to move on and get in amongst the top five and pull away with them and then deal with the fight it will take to remain there and aim for 4th rather than 5th. I think we are at that point now. If we miss it, then we're going to get dragged down further with loss of focus and belief and distraction in the shape of the CL. And the point becomes one of no return.

I don't particularly want to share CL football with the likes of City or Liverpool (yes, Liverpool because they're back baby, they're back!!! Did you not see the game on Sunday?). We might find we don't have a choice and that every other season we challenge and reclaim entry to the elite competition because of the openness of the Prem. On the other hand,  we lose out this season and the Prem goes all monopoly again - and it's back to mediocrity as our players get plucked. The latter is less likely, but I'd rather not entertain that risk.

I lost count of the amount of times we got written off during the 2010 journey. I've said it many times this term - we might appear to be going sideways but we are not far off at all from getting this fixed. Just a couple of variables to be added to the formula. Just need to stand tall and proud before the money shot. Our CL hangover record is actually better than Arsenals. Not that it makes it acceptable to lose to Bolton and it's frustrating that we never get anything there - but with two home games and then the scum away (before CL and Liverpool) - this is when we discover if this fantastical learning curve - for the manager as well as players - has sunk in and we are better for it.

Get to Jan even with the same type of difference we have at the moment between us and say 3rd spot - and then it's over to the chairman and the transfer window to consolidate the work and progress achieved last season and eradicate this blip we are experiencing in the Prem. I don't need to tell you what we need. If we get what we need then we'll gonna get a whole heap of what we want.

I'll end with some positives from the game.

Ridiculously great technique and finish for the goal from Roman. Superb effort from Hutton also. That's it.

Also, can I point out that Gareth Bale didn't make his debut at the San Siro. And this fallacy of him being non-existent in the league is exactly that. Although my point would be more poignant if made on another day, rather than after a quiet performance and defeat.

Conclusion?

Last time I'm going to say this now. We are not playing well, we dissect every loss because of the standards we have set ourselves and we are showing frailties that are probably not half as bad as some other clubs have in comparison but probably more susceptible to repair. We've got it in us. It's time to prove it.

That's it.

Can we not play Inter at home every week?

Morning.

Sorry for the lack of a serious match preview. I'm balls deep into Football Manager 2011 at the minute. The other half and the baby are away, so home alone which means plenty of walking around in boxer shorts eating yesterdays left over kebab for breakfast and catching up on HBO's latest masterpiece, Boardwalk Empire. Committed, that's me.

To be honest, I'm still having flashbacks to last Tuesday's epic. As much as I'm looking forward to this afternoon, I'm around 15% worried that we'll suffer a hangover. No neat and tidy slick incomparable passing from Bolton ala Inter. It's altogether a different task at hand. We don't get much up there so getting three points today would be a near perfect follow-on from our European adventures. So it's about bettering the opposition in one department more than them and making sure the points have Lilywhite ribbons at full time. Bettering them, but battering them would be so much sweeter.

Comfortable, emphatic 3-0 win the perfect tonic. A bruising 1-0 scrape, just as worthy.

No vdV or Lennon. Potential for a bit of tinkering from Harry. Will Bale be rested? 451? Questions. The one I'm asking myself is surely we'll get a result, what with Liverpool winning there? Yes? Okay, let's not go there.

The defining point for me is that today, it's not the type of game we can afford to lose or drop two points at. Not with the way things are beginning to shape top end. Can't be devaluing it or thinking back to the last game. Move forwards Tottenham please.

So, enjoy the game. I promise my match report will be far more astute and professional.

Will be curating tweets from my own feed and other Spurs fans during the game, they'll appear below (if it doesn't auto-refresh, then do so manually).

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Chewbacca for Spurs in £23M deal?

Huddlestone collects the ball deep...oh that's a lovely cross field ball to the feet of Lennon, Hoodlesque from the big man…Lennon twists and turns out on the flank, cuts in, cuts back, plays it across to van der Vaart, van der Vaart dummy - the ball through his legs - collected by Modric who lays it first time to Bale. Bale...still Bale, past one man, past two, past three, crosses and ...Chewbacca with the run....CHEW-BAAAACAAAA !!

4-0. Beauty and best football by the home side.

Brilliant movement from Spurs, brilliant finish from Chewbacca who smashed the ball home with brutal ferocity after some quite majestic play from his Lilywhite team-mates. That's his second of the game, and this Tottenham side are positively inspired. Clinical and relentless.

And that's the whistle. Rampant display.. And it's only half-time. Park Lane are in full swing, chanting the name of their new hero...Chewie, Chewie, Chewie...Stewards are selling half-time dvd specials to the home crowd. Hedonistic scenes in N17...

I'm privileged to be commentating on this game, and although you can't see me, let me tell you, the big gold cockerel up on the East Stand is not the only thing to be standing proud and erect this Saturday afternoon.



The above is fantasy.

I mean seriously, four-nil up after 45 minutes? That and signing and starting Chewbacca might prove somewhat tricky, what with him apparently killed off in the serialised Star Wars novels. That and the fact he was birthed from the imagination of George Lucas and is thus a fictional character. Damn you, technicalities, damn you to hell.

But you just know that if we had him up front, rampaging and destroying opposition defences with his mere giant presence in both stature and personality, the rest of the team would need to find a new level of performance just to appease his big hairy feet. Because to not, would be beyond the realms of disrespect. Angry Wookie = trouble. If you thought Berbatov could sulk…

Chewie would no doubt need about a dozen storm-troopers marking him, and he'd be the one forcing them to run away in fear. In the unlikely event of us someone how signing Bellamy and covering him head to toe in super-glued grizzle bear fur, we're going to have to look at other options. And Craig is a touch short for the job in terms of height. Sorry Craig.

There's the possibility of out-sourcing. Comolli to scout the Dagobah system, perhaps? No Wookiee's to be found there, but I'm sure Damien would unveil Yoda as one for the future with the ability to elevate the team. Cue various dodgy grainy taken photos via mobile phones of Comolli, Yoda and agent sitting in a Burger King at the airport in plain sight agreeing terms.

Alas, back in the real world we have Jar Jar Binks leading from the front. So when exactly will the Tottenham strike back? Ah yes, an article full of lame Star Wars references weaker than a venomous Crouch shot.

Chewbacca signing for Spurs in a £23M deal? It aint happening. Some amongst you it wouldn't resolve our problems due to Chewie being slightly susceptible of a wandering mind and placing way too much emphasis on his heart than his mind. And much like that Bulgarian, God damn, can he be depressive. Russians are hard enough to manage, and the language barrier is going to be a nightmare. Then again, if players can just about make out what Robbie Keane bangs on about then perhaps I'm being a tad too harsh.

Having checked, Boba Fett and Darth Sidious are both unavailable and don't fancy the 50% tax with moves to England.

I've already touched on the necessity for a world class forward with an abundance of swagger in the previous blogs, and it's an echo of what we're all saying and hoping for. With van der Vaart arguably world class in terms of mental strength, technique and impact - if we had someone of similar ilk up front...and here we go again...it's ground-hog day. Close your eyes and imagine, and it will make you drool. Until January, if something does give way in terms of filling the gap, we still have to make do with what we have until the window re-opens.

So, what do we have exactly?

We know what Rafael gives us in terms of application and guile. We need him to give it to us away from home too. Luka is still on this perpetual road of mend to recapture the form we know he is capable of. Crafting and creating, starting the move from deep and playing killer balls in and around the box. When he does hit form, and he will soon, this will be huge for the team. Don't underestimate the difference between a 65% Luka and a 95% Luka. 100% Luka…and I'll be needing the smelling salts.

Bale has been granted a holiday, which is a cracking idea. Burn out, not an option - and with Manchester United away up next, we need him to be at his very best if Levy is going to rinse Fergie for £70M (Gareth's valuation goes up with each DML article that references him). Seriously though, Bale to United? You can't possibly believe the never-ending looping news articles covering this? Can you? Can you?

I find your lack of faith disturbing.

Lennon is continuing his rehabilitation, but his angry eyebrows would suggest he would much prefer Charlie behind him than Alan.

Crouch sort of doesn't but does assist vdV almost in an apologetic manner of just being there in the box. Basically, if he doesn't give away a free kick for simply breathing in the box, the ball might hit him or one of the defenders climbing up his legs and fall into the path of vdV. The Everton game, a perfect example. vdV expertly smashing the ball into the net from the magnetic ball to feet sent his way with the aid of the magical aura of Peter.

Any old excuse to re-post this.

One thing is for certain. It's not ideal having Crouchie up front in a 451. I'll admit it. Even if vdV has notched up five goals thus far. It's not Crouchie getting the goals. Whether it's hoof up to the lanky forward or to feet, it's not a tactic that is allowing for swash-buckle and that missing ingredient of intensity.

For the sake of hypothetical's, stick a Drogba, a Bellamy (hate to keep referring back to this git) or Chewbacca himself - and you just know that this would produce something extra. Something tangible in the way of a target. Because these ilk of players have plenty of ammunition and facets to their personality on the field. Drogba is a complete forward. Bellamy has tenacity and relentless annoyance (ironically, not a personal option due to his brittle bones, he's always injured, or at least it seems like he's always picking up knocks). And Chewbacca, cool and calm when required, but when required he simply doesn't give a sh*t and will f*ck you up.

Find the player, no matter the system, who can do the job. And the conundrum is surely solved. It is, isn't it?

Pause for thought.

And we're back again to the start. Ground-hog day.

Like I said, until Jan...we wait and in the mean time we hope we can find a rhythm and plenty of goals. It might come in the way of Defoe and his comeback. With his trademark power shots at goal. With vdV playing just off him. JD is more Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs than C-3PO waddle, so it's going to be interesting to see how it pans out.

As a footnote to all this (off the back of the Everton game), I should give a special mention to Sandro who really does look the part. Tidy player, knows his way around the pitch, effective and once he hits his stride, he's going to be very good for us. In time. He does appear to have the composure (in his head) to be a success for us and the Prem. Might not be flair, but has substance.

As for our former defensive man of unbreakable bricks, Wilson?

Palacios is a bit like the Death Star in Return of the Jedi. It's there patiently waiting with the power to destroy, but not quite turned on. Is it operational or isn't it? Is it a trap? An attempted trap? Or just a really bad attempt at controlling the ball? And time. Its a ticking. And if we don't get a move on, it could go belly-up as quickly as you can say 'fire a laser at that unguarded thing over there to blow it up, seriously, it's that frigging easy'.

We want our Wilson back. In fact, we want our Tottenham back. More of that Star Destroyer swagger than slow-brooding AT-AT.

And finally, having dragged the Star Wars franchise through the mud kicking and screaming (hey, it's just like being George Lucas!) if Bale needs a rest in future and there's no time for a beach holiday, then I have two words for ya. Just two words. Two names in fact. A first and second name.

Niko. Kranjčar.

He's not a jedi. He's a Croat.

Thanks for your time, and may the facere be with you.

Wanted: world class striker, abundance of swagger preferable

Spurs 1 Everton 1

We can sit here and debate many things. Had this game been played on Sunday for example, would we have had that extra zing to perhaps force the ball over the line a second time? Still don't quite grasp the reasoning for the 12:45pm Saturday kick-off after Wednesday nights drama in the San Siro. And although it's easy to knee-jerk and point the finger of blame at Sky, we obviously agreed to it and I can't remember reading any Harry complaints via tabloid sound-bites in the build-up to the game. Probably got drowned out in all the Rooney hullabaloo. You might have missed it but Pompey nearly went into liquidation. Just thought I'd share. In case you didn't read about it.

As for the game being played a couple of days after Bale sealed his £20M-£50M (cross out where applicable) via his superb solo display move to Old Trafford all I can say is; oh these gentle delicate modern days where footballers need to be constantly wrapped in cotton wool. In fairness, travelling back from Milan and then preparing for the Prem is never going to be easy, but then bully us for finishing fourth. Re: Bale. He needs a bit of a rest. Make sure he's nice and fresh for his meeting with Fergie in Jan. Because you know, United are now suddenly minted after Alex and Wayne merked the Glazers.

Harry did, if I remember correctly, cite that the players looked fine in training. So no pre-match ready made excuse. All that remained was to see if it translated onto the pitch.

Guess it depends on your own personal expectancy here, what with the need to avoid a Champions League hangover. Which we've managed to do fairly well so far, give or take a result. The game itself wasn't quite hair of the dog, more of hair ball of the cat. We purred a couple of times, but the game got scratchy the deeper it crawled towards full time. And in the end we coughed up just the one point.

Two points dropped, right?

We lined up like so: Gomes, Hutton, Kaboul, Gallas, Assou-Ekotto, Lennon, Palacios, Modric, Bale, Van der Vaart, Crouch.

vdV and Modric fresh and the latter wearing the captaincy. No Huddlestone and Crouch retained his place top end. Kaboul in at the back. Wilson in the starting line-up thanks to his mum.

We can sit here and debate many things (someone once said). Sure, there was a lack of zing but arguably we had enough about us first half to suggest we could win it. But Everton defended resolutely, scored a peach of an unsaveable free-kick and were good for their point. We are dropping points (when we drop them) thanks to our lack of intensity and top drawer forward. It's not just about getting the ball to the front-man. But more about the front-man creating space and chances. It's sometimes way too much effort but little to show for it in and around the box.

The lack of intensity has been a common issue so far this season. By intensity I'm talking about the way we took City apart in the opening 45 in the first game of the season. We were on it. The fact we didn't score (be it unlucky/be it no thanks to Hart) isn't so much evidence for that lack of a top drawer forward because I think Defoe will be a blessing when he returns. But JD wasn't exactly on fire prior to his injury and since he's been out, we've had to rely on our midfield. But a top drawer forward would change the game.

Nice irony that in the past our midfield hasn't chipped in, and now we have goals coming from that area - our forward(s) are not leading the line with great vengeance and furious anger. Crouch remains much maligned. 4-5-1 also raising eyebrows, but then how else do you fit in the players we have with world-class van der Vaart? Who was fairly quiet on Saturday. But scored regardless, because that's just his thing to do at White Hart Lane. Waiting-for-him-to-turn-world-class Luka who still needs to rediscover his dinking and deep play-making touch. Palacios subbed for Sandro upsetting mum in the stands. And the ref doing his best to kill the game with a rather average (below below average) display.

We were not fluid enough in the end to break Everton down. And it's the king of understatement to state that if we had a forward who had the same irrepressible determination and class of Rafael, we'd be laughing. Laughter of Cuban cigar smoking smugness rather than the type accompanied by the tears of a clown.

Simply put (IMO - feel free to disagree):

- We still haven't got into a cohesive run of swagger
- We are however, picking up the points
- We could regret the points dropped post-Christmas if we fail to change gear soon
- With the return of Defoe (soon) and the possibility of a new (much needed) forward in Jan, this could elevate us to the next level
- Nobody, other than Chelsea (thanks to their home form), look like storming it and even they don't look Mourinhoesque, which means the rest of the chasing pack (United/Arsenal) might not break away from the second chasing pack (Us/City)

Conclusion?

We need to step it up and quickly because using the tired excuse that it's all okay because nobody is currently firing on all cylinders might find us with much regret when we stop using it with a ten point difference from the team just above us.

At some point, someone will start to fire. Let that be us.

Follow-up article scheduled for later on with more thoughts (re: player performances) from Saturday.

Spurs v Everton, three word match preview

Smash 'em up.

Best cure for a hangover

by WookieD, glory-glory.co.uk

Unleash the beast. COYS.

Premiership, you're 'aving a larf...

Must-win games, that tag, it gets bandied around quite a bit. Every game should be must-win. Especially in the Premier League. What with Champions League football being a real possibility if we once more dig deep enough to find the desire and belief to (re)claim it.

You might argue, the fact we are in it (CL), makes it the priority to the players. What's the point of qualifying for Europe's elite competition if you're not going to give it a right proper go? And I agree. Be fearless, enjoy the moment. It's deserved. For both players and fans. 

We should aim to do our very best. But not at the expense of failing to challenge for the same privilege next season. Mental strength Spurs. We need more of it.

And this is the crux of the issue at hand. The goal has to be to aim for the next impossible level. As far away as challenging for the title is for us, much like challenging for 4th once was, we have to look at doing it regardless. Let me rephrase that. We should be looking to improve on what we achieved last season, which would make that a further step forwards, in the right direction. Nowhere near a title challenge, but it's in that direction. Over there, over the hills and then some.

This has been discussed many times before, but it's worth re-visiting. For me, it's about intent. Do we simply want an adventure not knowing when we might be next using our backpack or do we want to buy ourselves a plot of land on the continent and guarantee our ticket every year?

The players, for all their hard work last season, have to forget about the 'Race for Fourth' 2010 edition. Stop living off that single achievement (as majestic as it was in terms of proving so many doubters wrong) and re-tune their ambition to 2011 with a massive dollop of desire and renewed focus. Simply aiming for that next level will allow us to once more compete for 4th spot (based on the intensity we displayed last time out) - and that's as much as we can do in our immediate future.

Don't give our competition (City, Liverpool perhaps) the chance to believe in themselves more thanks to any display of disbelief from us.

Complacency? Loss of hunger domestically? We'll suffer for it. If we lost out on 4th, if that happened even if we gave it our all, then fair enough. We might be in for a few seasons of sharing it with one or two others. But not being in the fight full stop, and surrendering it? Well, that would be inexcusable.

We were meant to thrash Wigan. We didn't. That came off the back of beating Young Boys 4-0. And now after that corker of a game in Germany, we're back to the bread and butter once more. King has already cited 'no excuses'. There's no need for any of my usual war cry speeches and screams for swaggering swashbuckling football.

White Hart Lane. Three points. Make it convincing. I don't want to be listening to Harry post-match, sound-biting 'two wins from eight games'.

Show us your balls please Tottenham. I want them slapping around in the face of the toothless Wolves.

COYFS. Audere est Facere, old skool.

Listen to Spurs VS Wolves this Saturday 18th September only on Absolute Radio extra - on DAB Digital Radio, 1215AM and online in the UK from 1.30pm.

For more info go to www.absoluteradio.co.uk.