il Potenziale

by guest-blogger Fox Mulder

According to the Sunday Mirror yesterday, one Jermaine Jenas has begun taking Italian lessons to prepare for a move to Inter Milan in the Summer. The papers really don't want to let this one lie and for anyone who has witnessed the man himself this season it is nothing short of baffling. 

Look at the two parties - Inter Milan are one of the most decorated teams in Italian football and have won Serie A the last three seasons on the spin. Jermaine Jenas has a Carling Cup medal and won the Soccer AM crossbar challenge.

Reading this story again I considered several options:

1. This whole story is one of those big media 'in-jokes' perpetuated by cheeky Arsenal and Chelsea supporting journalists. The scoundrels.

2. It's true and Jose Mourinho is such a genius he can see something in the player that a good majority of Spurs fans can not.

3. It's true and Jose Mourinho's malevolent ego has become so powerful that it has seized control of his conscious mind and is seeking to destroy him.

4. The story is completely made up - just putting it out there guys...

The man they call JJ has polarised more opinions at White Hart Lane than I've had false dawns and I don't intend to defend or attack him here. Sometimes he's great and sometimes he's awful, a couple of screamers against Arsenal prolonging the fading hope that there is a world class player in that slim, chiselled frame just bursting to get out. In fact, much like a few of our players (Hudd, Pav, Crouch) you can even be found arguing with yourself on a game by game and sometimes minute by minute basis. "He's got a good engine, but he's too soft. He can beat players in the midfield, but he's a confidence player. He's good at set pieces. he's shit at set pieces. This game needs Jenas. For God's sake sub him off." He's like Yin and Yang, it is in his essence to be simultaenously both shite and brilliant, caught in a delicate and timeless footballing paradox. By the time I've finished the 10 minute, post-match walk to my car I'm practically a quivering, schitzophrenic wreck.

But let's say he packed his designer luggage and headed for Milan. How would our boy fair in a city that is known for fashion, food and football? What impact would he have on fans who have seen their midfield strings pulled by some of the true greats of the game?

The last English midfielder that wore the nerazzuri shirt was Paul Ince, and he is till fondly remembered in Inter folklore. After a slow start, his tough tackling, whole hearted displays coupled with a good range of passing a vicious shot were a revelation at the San Siro. His sheer enthusiasm and toughness made him exactly what the Inter fans expected when they signed an English midfield general. 

So far not so good then for JJ.

But of course there already is an English midfielder playing in Milan. One who is known more for his creativity than his brutality. He's not got the legs anymore but he can put a set piece where it's meant to be. And Italians bloody love a set piece. Mr Beckham is a world star playing for Inter's fiercest rivals. Jenas would be only the 2nd Englishman currently playing in Italy, in the same city and the same stadium no less. Comparisons would instantly be drawn and I'm struggling to remember many goals scored from an expertly delivered Jenas dead ball.

2-0 to the doubters then.

However, the Italian league is less physical, more tactical and players get a lot more time on the ball. Compared to many opponents in Serie A, Jenas would probably look like he has the work rate of Wayne Rooney. He's also actually pretty bright. Word from the Lodge is that he's one of, if not THE most intellectual of our current flock. Any time there is an education initiative he's front of the queue. That's not saying much though as he's probably the only one that can even spell queue, or his name for that matter.

I for one think more English players should get out there and play abroad. We have the so-called best league in the world but foreign clubs rarely try to buy our English players. He is still young enough to develop his game to perhaps even make a decent shout for England at Euro 2012. He could be an absolute revelation and having Mourinho there would be a massive advantage for him.

He may finally find fans that really love him. He may even get his first ever proper chant - less hilarious things rhyme with Jenas in Italian than they do in English.

Love or loathe him, I'd say it's pretty universally accepted that Jermaine is not going to push on a level at Spurs, and we won't up our level with him in the team.

If he does move then I wish him the best of luck. He may not have set our world alight but he's played under about 50 managers, never moaned to the press to force a transfer and yes, he did score some blinders against the goons. 

Europeans love to give their players little nicknames. In Italy Jenas would be il potenziale - the potential. If he joins Inter this Summer I'd love to see him finally realise it.

Richards. Veloso. Moses. Sandro. Parker. Lewis. Keane.

Hype. Sometimes talking something up is far more exiting and interesting than the reality of how it turns out in the end. Take for example the weather. London was meant to be hit hard last night, instead we got a curve ball of snow that seem to travel from Buckinghamshire down and around towards the Gatwick area and then further around and then up towards Colchester, catching most areas - some worse than others - leaving the rest shrugging and asking 'Was that it?' Where I am (outside the M25) there was snow, nothing disruptive. Just enough to hear it crunch under my feet when walking to the station this morning. Sure, the tube journey into London was slow and the line has since been part suspended. Still low key stuff. Nothing as dramatic as having the line completely suspended and working from home. Anti-climax when you hear stories about Liverpool running out of grit and their roads icing over, with public travel and schools out of bounds.

Seems things closer to home are proving to be nothing out of the ordinary. Which brings me onto the not so exciting and not so interesting transfer gossip currently doing the rounds. It's not quite picked up yet. You'll have no doubt seen the Micah Richards stories, most stating that the lad has commented on how Tottenham would be his preferred choice, even though there are no direct quotes (understandably). Micah is a right-back that plays centre-back, but doesn't seem to do so with much acclaimed conviction. At least not when I've seen him play. I do like him though. Has potential if he's developed properly, but see no point of signing him if he's going to be used at right-back. Unless the plan is to sell Hutton to Sunderland and then have two right-backs in Corluka and Richards who can both (attempt to) play at CB too for cover. Not sure where that particular scenario would leave the likes of Naughton (he's a right back, right? Or is that Walker? I forget, considering one is out on loan and the other nowhere near the first team).

Veloso is once more linked. And various ITK forum dwellers are informing us that we're looking at this very closely. Might happen. Blah blah blah. Apparently the Sandro deal is proving to be too complex so we're looking elsewhere for a DM. I'll take a calculated risk here and say this one (Veloso) is a non-starter. Old story, resurfacing due to lack of creativity from both message boards and tabloid hacks. Personally, Veloso strikes me as a player in love with himself. He's the anti-Wilson. Rather look elsewhere. The young lad at Pompey, O'Hara, looks a bit tasty.

Nah, just pulling your plonker. Seriously wondering if Harry is even going to bother to plug the hole in midfield. Last transfer window he told the press we lacked numbers there. But we've all learnt to take Harry with a pinch of salt.

Moses has been tagged with a £5M price by desperate Palace. If we get rid of Pav (to Fulham on loan perhaps - according to a Spurs Odyssey ITK) then we have room for a young and hungry forward who won't complain too much about sitting on the bench. Although that might well stagnate his progress. Perhaps we can sign him and leave him at Palace (something we could have done with Bostock perhaps). Is he any good? He's showing promise. Big strapping lad, physical, bit of skill. Palace fan at work can't stop banging on about him. But then he would considering that the only thing they have going for them are their young players. But this type of hype is reminiscent to the type we endured with Giles Barnes and one or two others who were proclaimed 'the next big thing'. It's not going to be a signing for the present if it does happen.

As mentioned earlier, no movement on the Sandro deal. But then nobody really knows what is happening if anything is actually happening. Once more I refer you back to the near legendary Diego saga. Remember the badly translated Brazilian news articles covering Pleats exploits out in South America, talking to both Santos and Diego's father (who owned a percentage of his image rights)? Biggest regret is that we failed to sign 'The Sock'. But it's not for the want of trying. With Sandro, a lot of it is based on comments made by his current club. Harry's comments suggest that we might be interested and range from not knowing what's going on to claiming the chairman is looking into it. Don't be shocked if this runs into next summer.

And the less said about Scott Parker the better. Injury prone and has twice allegedly rejected us already. He makes no hairs on the back of my neck stand up. The next DM to be signed by us should be understudy material. Not West Ham trash on his last legs. Yes yes, he impresses every now and again - but that's the problem with Parker. It's every now and again.

There's also the Joe Lewis phenomenon. He's the decent Posh keeper that impressed in our FA Cup win last weekend, enough to have some Spurs fans, tongue firmly in cheek, singing his name. We do love a flirt. Much like Moses, would be one for the future. Barry Fry also with tongue in cheek sharing a joke with Harry over the kids availability (we can have first option).

And that's it. There's one or two examples of formulaic guess work going on where people claiming to have inside info create very subtle and ambiguous statements that don't hold up as anything more than a safety net for their ego. My personal favourite concerns how Robbie Keane has asked permission to be allowed to find a new club. Not a transfer request, just a gentleman's agreement. It's textbook. Everyone knows Keane is half the player he was, disinterested and generally struggling. So you've got a 50/50 chance if you say 'he's staying' or 'he's going' but in order to retain some form of credibility, you simply make the suggestion that he might be going. And if it happens, you can refer back to it. Genius.

The search for a definitive breakthrough story, before it actual breaks through continues.

Feel free to share the wealth if you have any. My guess is, you don't. Because the walls built around Daniel Levy's office are completely and utterly sound-proof.

And so it begins...

Morning all. Thought I'd drop a blog while I munch my way through my coco-pops (hot milk just like the advert). It's the first of January which is you know what time. Yep, the gates of tabloid hell are open and one thousand demented monkeys are let loose on type-writers, churning out an infinite amount of possibilities in the way of transfer stories, each one delivered by carrier pigeon to every entity of the Murdoch Empire and re-used every few days with different pictures to give us the illusion of development.

It's the January transfer window, and its about to vomit its chunky unsightly sick all over us.

I'm already giddy with excitement thanks to the first new year 'stories'. Bite size carrot chunks already been gagged on. The first one concerns Harry's 'comeback' on Pav's outburst. Roman telling everyone that our gaffer has been mocking him and although it seems that Harry is still citing the Russian as being a good player/footballer, it's a bit of mis-direction leading to how he's now willing to listen to any offers (as long as the offer is of the right kind).

Let's not let this one drag out.

We've also got the Sandro story, which has plodded along for 6 months now. He's close to / has agreed terms. The story suggests he has agreed personal terms but both clubs are trying to work out the transfer. If there are plans afoot to sign him, I'm sure it hasn't been such a long tedious process. As we have a 'relationship' with Internacional and if we've agreed something, its probably already been done and dusted. Then again, considering what we went through with that other Brazilian club (Santos) when we almost/should have signed Diego (sigh) perhaps this is the only way to sign South American players.

The other news item that has me smiling is the one from the Guardian that states:

Tottenham manager Harry Redknapp, who has signed 19 players in the last five January transfer windows, says the mid-season transfer window is "a nightmare" and claims the chances of him bringing anybody to Spurs this month are "very, very, very, very slim" - Read it here.

So, that's what? Four verys which makes it very x 4 slim of us signing anyone, but it's not 5 verys or God forbid 6 so I'm reading between the lines here and I'm gonna hazard another one of those guesses and assume (ass, you and me) that Harry is playing down our chances of bringing in some new recruits.

I'll end this afternoons blog (yes, I'm having coco-pops for brunch) by reposting some stats I read over at THFCLatest 2 this morning (copied from elsewhere, so forgive me for not knowing the original source but these types of stats are probably all over the place at the moment):

Tottenham have exactly the same points total from 20 games (37) as the 2005-06 season when they lost out on fourth on the final day.

Only Cesc Fabregas and Ryan Giggs have created more goals than Aaron Lennon in the top flight.

Jermain Defoe has already has his most successful scoring season ever in the Premier League with 14 goals.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. We need to consolidate. We need to add something extra to the squad and avoid the potential to fade away.

Be positive. Attack.

What I'm waiting for is for those other more cultured monkeys to get their typewriters out. Not the hacks, the message board ITK sub-communities. Is it just me or have we had a very prolonged quiet time from them recently? Have Spurs chopped down all the trees surrounding the Lodge?

Have a good one today.

Sandro the destructive to Spurs?

Sandro. The missing piece of the jigsaw. Although if I'm completely honest, I'm basing that on what I think is the missing piece rather than the type of player Sandro actually is. I can't really offer anything in the way of personal 'I swear on my life' insight into what type of player the young Brazilian is. Sure, I can quote you from a tabloid transfer article or perhaps what a regular on the Glory Glory forum thinks, but I've never actually seen the bloke play. Youtube/online streaming video footage doesn't count, mainly because it has a habit of mis-interpretation.

I remember salivating at ridiculous 30 yard goals from impossible angles (Rebrov) and tricky instinctive box work (Postiga) only to be left crying despondently with regret later. My only 'experience' of Sandro is from signing him for Spurs side in my current FM2010 save game and using him as back-up for Wilson Palacios - sometimes even partnering him in the middle for a difficult away game. Based on a computer game, Sandro is strong and although defensive, has plenty of attacking qualities and an eye for scoring from distance (although this may be thanks to an in-game mis-representaiton/bug where far too many goals are scored from long range).

So, who is Sandro exactly? Can he hit the ground running if he turns out in Lilywhite come January, or will he require a season or so of 'bedding in' to settle into the tempo of the EPL? Or perhaps he is confident and adaptable and wont struggle as long as he joins a side that's in form. If we are performing, it will be far easier for him to get to grips with midfield tussles.

All I have to go on is a gut feeling at the moment. Which is risky. So I can only think our scouts have seen enough of this lad to warrant him a worthy acquisition. Rather than a superfluous (there's that word again) one. The last time we signed a DM, it was Wilson. And although Wilson appears to have suffered a little with form in recent months - there's no doubt he will recapture the type of discipline he possessed at the back end of last season. So bringing in a young understudy has to be the answer. Jamie O'Hara obviously is not. Bostock is possibly a couple of seasons away from breaking into the first team (and he's a little more offensive). Jenas is Jenas, bless his little cotton socks.

Sandro, still the missing piece of the jigsaw? What does he do exactly? Based on what others say:

He's comfortable on the ball
He works hard
Has box to box qualities
Aggressive in the tackle
Has leadership qualities
Not overly creative (could improve)
Decent in a holding role

Doesn't sound shabby.  There's a Willie Gannon article on Sandro that includes such statements as:

'dynamic midfielder'
'holding midfielder - his primary role for Inter where he has been destructive'
'initiates his team’s many attacks with his penetrating runs through midfield'
'simplistic style /rarely gives the ball away'

Again, doesn't sound too shabby at all. But once more, these are opinions which you may or may not trust as they are words of others rather than something you've witnessed with your own eyes. But leaps of faith is what we take with imported players. And Sandro, Brazilian U20 captain (I think), does appear to have some substance to the hype.

As far as the centre of the park is concerned, he appears to offer more dimensions to his play than our other current options. The key quality being leadership. I might look him up on Youtube. After being burnt by the Rebrov and Postiga collections the last time I dared venture was to see clips of a certain Bulgarian. So perhaps the internet doesn't always lie.

I do like his attitude in print. To quote the man: "I don't want to speak too much about this but I am ready to move to Europe. I am convinced my style will suit a team that favours an attacking approach."

He seems confident of his abilities. And the Internacional fans also seem to like him where it matters most, on the pitch and on the terraces:

"Sandro scores the goals, Sandro scores the goals, Sandro scores the goals, so we will give him a cow, and he will milk it" 

We might need to re-work that for the Park Lane. Don't ask me about the cow. I haven't got a clue.

So for now, we wait. The press are making various assumptions about price (ranging from £6M to the original/traditional £16M figure). There's the issue rights/ownership, which if you remember ruined our chances of signing Diego several years ago. His club claim he's not leaving, then we read about how the deal is progressing. Sit back, and hold onto your hats.

Roman Pavlyuchenko ate my squirrel

I'm coming down with a cold. Head hurts, nose is running, lack of sleep. And I'm sadly finding no warmth from any of the news items that have presented themselves to me this morning making Tuesday as bland and boring as Monday was. Even The Sun, celebrating 40 years today, can't muster up anything of interest, informing us that we are after Man Utd's Ben Foster for a cool £6m. Another back-page testament to the age old 1 (Carlo injured in bike accident) +1 (Foster wanting first team football) = 2 (sign for Spurs) system that has proven to be so very successful for them over the years. Sort of make shit up and it sells newspapers.

I might appear to aim a dig or two at the esteemed red-top, but it still serves its purpose. It's no different I guess from any number of message boards that contain posts from people who claim to be in the know about who is about to sign on the dotted line or opinionated and brash fans telling all how they see it. The Sun print stories that are about as reliable as a David Bentley flick. Might look good, but it's completely useless in the grand scheme of things. Like most of the alleged club insider stories that we are treated to on-line. We read exclusives that contain no direct quotes or actual conclusive evidence. But it's ok because it mentions a 'close friend' or 'club source' as confirmation that the info at hand must be credible because they can't reveal names as it's come from someone who has to retain their anonymity. And how can you possibly argue against massive bold capital words?

For the more astute (that's practically everybody with an ounce of common sense) you'll also have noticed that rather superb trick of printing every transfer scenario imaginable, regardless of just how made-up it is because there's a calculated chance of one of them sticking and if it does then it allows them to re-print the winning story, with the date highlighted, and the smug claim they were in first with the news.

It's such a complex science. Newspapers gloating about how they printed the story before anyone else, even though most papers tend to just read message boards and rehash the nonsense they read on-line. Did I mention that already? Of course I did. I'm recycling. Another gem of the modern day sports press. Quiet time? Go ahead, just re-print a story from two weeks ago, dress it up a little bit by using even older quotes not used last time round and make it look like its brand new gossip. It's a never-ending tapestry of half-truths. If someone notices, who cares, they'll be hundreds of message board forums jam-packed with discussion threads about the story at hand, even if there is little substance to it.

So what possible purpose does it all serve? As a generalisation, the window to football supplied by the likes of The Sun basically mirrors the common man's pub drink chatter on the beautiful game. We all exaggerate and make assumptions and discuss the latest rumours and stories. Tabloids are almost akin to a memo reminding us where our topic of conversation(s) should head towards. Newspapers like The Sun fuel said conversations and incite debate. Even if it all stems from the most basic of platforms. They've even got our Harry on board. And that's the appeal. Quick, easy access - nothing to strain the brain. Big photos and small words. It's made for easy consumption. Harry and his self-publicity sound-bite editorials are a joy to behold. It's far from ground-breaking journalism but its likely to make you turn to the next person and talk about it. Not quite as controversial as it would have you believe, just safe…with a hint of knock-down ginger rather than a brick through the window.

Yeah sure, there's always a hint of Top 4 elitism and favouritisms creeping in with plenty of dour Matthew Norman types depressing their way through match reports. Transparent, but not overwhelmingly patronising as Norman himself over at that freebie paper, The Evening Standard.

If it wasn't for their simplicity of dressing down football then we wouldn’t be blessed with the likes of Sky Sports News, which is a little bit like a 2D version of the Sports pages of The Sun just without the Page 3 girls. Talking of tits, their presenters reach such heights of giddiness over complete non-events that it becomes watchable by virtue of the pantomime at hand.

"We're outside the Spurs training ground, and that might be David James in the land rover that just drove past. Can't be sure, but if it is, he'll be here for a last minute medical and will sign for Spurs. Nope, actually, he's in Portsmouth, but we're just hearing that Anton Ferdinand is about to sign for Spurs…"

Love it.

Whether it's a reporter outside a football ground with delusional/happy fans jumping up and down or the flash of the yellow ticker telling us that they understand xxx is about to sign for xxx, it's essential viewing because you don't want to miss how many times the same bit of news can be repeated with such a consistently high level of enthusiasm.

My personal favourite was the evening that Sky exclusively told everyone that Barcelona captain Puyol was practically Spurs bound, only for the yellow ticker to suddenly disappear and for the accompanying web page story to go missing. Not another mention of it. Ever. It was almost like someone had gone with the story based on the word of someone else who just blurted out a randomly selected well known player, even if there was no suggestion he would ever consider leaving the Camp Nou let alone join us. As if. Yet there it was, scrolling across the screen.

The Sun, Sky…everyone proclaims to hate them yet people keep on reading and watching. I'm one of those people. It's a bit like the X-Factor. It's a winning formula that never needs to change it's format in a huge way and even when it's controversial or just plain silly its popularity isn't effected. Even if it's critically condemned it's usually by the very same people who claim to dislike it yet can't stop talking about it. Christ I hate the twins. Hate them with a passion, but can't ever see myself looking the other way and ignoring them. But that's the magic of Murdoch's The Sun and Sky Sports News. As for Cowell and Jedward, nice lads, who can't sing. Much like Juddlestone at Spurs. Nice lads, who can't play football.

So here's to a further 40 years of botched up predictions, agendas and propaganda, columnists and their egos, regurgitated agent transfer talk and all the exclusives we can handle.

Keep on whoring...

You pulling my Johnson?

I'm conflicted. When there are moments of nothingness between Spurs games I'd prefer not to write up something contrived just for the sake of it and rant on about what the tabloids consider to be news worthy adding unwarranted weight to something that is nothing more than a dirty feather.

If I go ahead and do so, I feel guilty for jumping onto the bandwagon. Other bloggers, might not have a crisis of the soul, and not think twice about commenting and so it snowballs and then everyone is discussing it, making it almost tangible. But then like a cancer - it spreads, relentless and unforgiving. Even though most know there is nothing there. A phantom. Its no cancer. Its not even a common cold. Its nothing more than hot air. But acknowledging its existence is easier than simply ignoring it. It's an instinctive reaction, and one that annoys me.

 

Johnson, 2 years ago v Sunderland

And here I am. About to contradict myself and do the exact thing I keep promising not to. Irony only has to pull her skirt slowly upwards ever so slightly to reveal a little bit more of that delicious thigh and I'm once more seduced.

I've not been paying attention and I can't claim to know what order the following skipped into the public domain in, but in the past week we've had:

- Jamie O'Hara may or may not stay at Pompey (direct Harry quote)
- Sandro has been re-linked (looks like the same story from the last transfer window)
- Spurs lack midfield depth ('We've only got Wilson, JJ and Huddlestone' confirms Harry)

And using the tabloid formula of conclusion, this equates to us being in the market for a new addition. So naturally, the next Spurs transfer story has to be related to a centre midfielder. No shock there.

But I guess I shouldn't frown too much about selling out and talking about it. The damage has already been done. It's multiplying itself across News Now as we speak like demented Gremlins birthed from a wet sorry mogwai.

Michael Johnson is apparently a £6M target for Tottenham which will aid us in our quest for central midfield depth. You remember Michael Johnson, right? He's this weeks nomination for a move to White Hart Lane (I'm surprised nobody has suggested Davids yet).

Johnson has returned from a long period on the sidelines. Very long period. Apparently suffering from an 'abdominal injury' which he comforted by growing fat. You'll note most photos being used in the sports related articles are of a baby-faced Johnson from around two seasons ago. Which is nice of them.

Two years on the sidelines and this could be you

It’s been so long since I last saw Johnson play that I can't even remember what type of player he is. I'm going to go with 'midfielder with a bit of eveything'. If a City fan is reading this, please go ahead and correct me.

I do remember he was useful but other than being cited as the next big thing I don't recall much more. Other than people telling me he was useful. What I do know is that at Man City there are several players ahead of him fighting for first team action. And this is a fact that isn't lost on the journos either because it allows them to include a hook in their story. A possibility for interest because the lad is 'arguably' available based on him requiring games to regain fitness and will struggle to get into the team at Eastlands. If he was more than decent two years ago and if he gets fit and has no more 'abdominal' problems most wouldn't say not to him signing. For £2M - £3M. But abdominal problems are a curious type. So knock off another £1M and then Harry might take a geniune look.

Another fact is that he's only played one minute of Prem football since his 'return'. That must have been some minute for us to be pencilling in a £6M move. I know what. Forget the discounted suggestion above, and let's wait until he completes two minutes and bid £12M and then round it off to £15M to guarantee nobody gazumps us.

Regardless of the reason(s) for his time away (I don't need to paint a picture) if the lad has talent it might re-emerge. It might not. One thing is for certain, we won't be paying £6M to find out.

And as for the regurgitated Sandro transfer stories, according to press reports we are back in for him and should be signing him cometh the Jan window. And the source? Other press reports. Yes. We have a press report that repeats information from another press report that is then copied for another press report. Let's get it done before Barca or Real swoop in to steal him away from our Brazilian partners, Internacional.

I'll stop there before I start posting pictures of a monged out Crouch and Woodgate looking like extras from a zombie movie with the title 'caption competition' or a damning editorial about the misbehaving dos Santos out with his family. The heathen.

And there we go. I just couldn't ignore the headlines and just had to waste my time and yours with contrived commentary that lacked insight. I'm once more part of the system. A fully fledged disciple of disdain. Please accept my unequivocal apology for my moment of weakness and rejoice with me that we are now closer to the weekend and the visit of Stoke.

Crouch bested by David Beckhams beard

England win. Crouchie scores two goals. Barry performs well. So obviously, David Beckham is awarded the man of the match by Steve 'Peter Crouch would have got it but he turned me down in the summer so...you know...' Bruce. Excellent. It's been a week of insightful insightfulness, topped by Phil McNulty's blog that included this gem:

"If Rooney is fit and in form England are contenders to win the World Cup. If he is not they are not - it is as stark as that"

On the nail stuff from Phil there. His clarification on the subject of our chances remains essential reading.

"If England turn up in South Africa and don't manage to miss their plane, they might stand a chance of winning it if they peform and win all their games"

That's a preview of his next one.

IMO, the only thing worthy of discussion from last nights 3-0 win against Belarus is Beckham's beard. Absolutely tremendous effort from the great man. Completley untrimmed around the sides making him look like a metrosexual Wolverine, with an additional ginger tinge on his moustache. It's actually more Adam Ant than Adamantium.

He was ok when he came on. Did spark some life into the side, but arguably nothing spectacular. Still, no bitterness. We all love Becks. But anyone would think he re-invents silce bread everytime he pulls on an England shirt.

Elsewhere, apparently Adriano has been offered to us for free. Which is a bit like two Irish blokes in a white van stopping you in the street and asking you to take a look at some laptops - for such a cheap price it's practically free - and you think its too good an offer to turn away and part company with your money to then find that when you open the case two Evian bottles of water are staring back at you.

International break is OVER. Rejoice.

Woodgate is on the mend. Modric is a couple of weeks away from a return. And King might just play against Pompey.

Happy days. Let's get back to business.

Time to cash in on Pav?

Been off-line for a few days, and come back to find a lovely gem of a news item concerning our forgotten Russian striker, Roman Pavlyuchenko. Apparently Zenit are interested.

"He does not intend to sit on the bench. We are aware of Zenit's interest. They wanted to sign Roman in the summer and I think we'll start negotiations again." - so says his esteemed agent Oleg Artemov.

If it's not meant to be it's not meant to be. He's struggled with an injury or two this season and has generally been a non-entity in our progress, other than a cameo in the Carling Cup. He looked bright and alive in pre-season and I for one was more than curious to see if this much maligned non-English speaking international was not yet another over-rated big money signing.

We remember last year well. He looked out of sorts. Whether it was the general struggle of learning the language (can anyone confirm if he can?) or looking confused when confronted by a Spurs fan in the Waltham Abbey Tescos partnered by his interpretor - Pav looked equally lost on the field too.

A bit clumsy, poor first touch, slow and very Zamoraish with his shooting. Other occasions he displayed a touch of class.

"He's just a bit tired, innit. Long Russian season, European Championships, then a move to Blightly"...was a common excuse by those who awaited the real deal to show us £14M worth of class.

We are still no closer to knowing.

And with JD, Crouchie and the undroppable Keano he stands little chance at the minute of making some kind of breakthrough into the first team.

Nailed on departure, no?

And having Zenit sniffing around is tinged with some of that ever so lickable irony dust. Oh yes. The same Zenit who moved the goal-posts around a dozen times during the Arshavin negotiations. How much did they want from us at the time? £18M? £20M? It was something ridiculous. Every time we seemed to agree a fee, they wanted a bit more. At the time our chairman got some stick from some quarters (cough) for not meeting their estmiation.

"Pay it. He's proper class"

Yes, he is a class player. Someone that would have fit in perfectly at Spurs. Imagine him linking up with Modric and...oh, whatever. It never happened, and to be fair AA is a bit of a git, as you might recall, he's 'dream move' seemed to change every other week. And he's already complaining about the 50% tax deductions that are not too far off for our footballing millionaires. But considering we paid £14M for Pav and £16M for Bentley...it makes you wonder. However, principles are principles, which is why Levy didn't buckle. Sickening he was sold for a measly £12M in the end.

So, back to that irony dust.

Zenit, if they do knock on our door, should be taken to the cleaners. IMO.

They want Pav?

Ok.

£18M. Not a penny less. Ta.

Would you swap Modric for Carrick?

It hasn't taken long for the rumourwhores and ITK's to start suggesting that Man Utd are after Luka Modric. The maths here is easy. Harry mentions Fergie rates him, Harry mentions he has no problem re-signing ex-Spurs players and Carrick is left out of the squad for Utd's last game and therefore that quite obviously equates to a Utd bid of £10M + Carrick (28 at his peak), for our little Croatian magician (23 nowhere near his peak).

This has already been picked up by a journo. Although not sure I've seen the story hit the major tabloids just yet. Although most would ignore this as bollocks, other's would point out that life outside the Top 4 usually results in feeding the likes of Utd because players - lacking commitment to a contract they've signed - tend to know that jumping ship when the opportunity arises is impossible for them to reject (because staying at a club longer than 2 years and become part of a side building towards sustaining a challenge is far too long of a project time wise). Silverware within a season is something that cannot be ignored. The bigger get bigger the slightly less big continue to slim down to an unheathly size.

If you allowed your imagination to run wild, you might conclude that Ferguson has already began his game playing, looking to unsettle a team brimming with confidence (ok, that's just me taking the piss, because I doubt he's worried about us being a threat just because we've won 3 games on the trot). Drag it out over the course of the season, flirting in the media about the target (remember the Berbatov saga?) and then swoop in with a bid knowing full well that even if we reject the bid, it won't be long before the player agrees personal terms leaving the club threatening legal action which results in a charity donation to complete the deal. The side-effect is that a key player has gone, meaning other key players would consider doing the same which leaves us in a position of uncertainty and (Jesus wept) another transition.

With thanks to yid-soldier over at GG.co.uk for the visual

The irony is, some Spurs fans are actually hoping this rumour is based on fact. Personally, I can't see Michael making a move back down to Spurs from Champs League considering he left us for that in the first place. He's won three titles there and the biggest prize of them all. He left Spurs because he had no faith in us challenging for 4th spot. The Redknapp factor might play a part in swaying his opinion but isn't the whole point to retain some form of consistency? Carrick is excellent. But how would you go about replacing Modric? Huddlestone will once more stagnate. And let's face it, if we have aspirations for the Top 4 - and Carrick is a Top 4 player, then would Utd really let him go considering (away from the hype of the Ronaldo's of this world) how vital he's been for them since moving up there? Nothing fits, other than subjective chitter-chatter that may well come back to bite (me) us in the backside if we slump and finish 10th.

Only way to banish this would be to finish in the Top 4 and then maybe we can tap up Carrick, with the offer of Champs League and the bright(er) lights of London.

Don't you just love football? Now where's that bottle of Absinthe?

Hands up if you're bored of this transfer window

I’m about to disappear for a week and hope that all our transfer dealings take place when I’m away so that I have something substantial to write about when I get back. News Now has been littered with stories and rumours and suggestions in this past week, with no end in sight. And I’ve grown a little weary of summing up the latest rotten ITK info falling from the grapevine. However, at the time of writing, this is the latest hack news:

Young to Spurs. Or Chelsea.

Bent to Villa. Bentley to City.

KJH is still a target.

Vieira practically signed.

Robben still being flitered with.

Negredo a done deal for £13M.

Kyle Naughton and Kyle Walker allegedly doneth and dustedeth.

Medical for Young today apparently, yet that appears to have been quashed by Martin O’Neill who has stated he is not going anywhere. Bent and Bentley have been eternally linked with moves away yet other than Sunderland (who are now looking at Crouch) there is no other movement for the two unloved stars. Robben won’t happen. If it does I’ll happily eat humble pie, but I just can’t see it. His ego, his wage demands, his dad. Nope, won’t happen. As for Vieira, that’s cooled a little mainly because everyone is talking about Negredo being a done deal and Klass-Jan Huntelaar apparently taking time-out to decide between us and Stuttgart.

It’s all very muddled. Defoe is obviously going nowhere. Bent must be. Pav is an uncertainty. And Keane also remains a mystery. If we do sign two strikers then that can only spell the end of the three mentioned above, with Jermain remaining a Lilywhite. Do you see why I’m weary? Theorising over the much criticised ITK leaked info and tabloid exclusives is a redundant idea considering there is no real way of knowing who it is we are aiming to sign until said player has been signed. Practically all of the ITK whispers have been reactive to what you may have read already. The papers mention Robben, suddenly there are several pieces of leaked info relating to ‘talks’ with the player. All signed off with the usual textbook, don’t shoot the messenger get out clause.

As for the Sheffield United pair, apparently we've stolen them from the grasp of Everton for a peachy £8M. If this has happened, there's a fair chance both players will remain at United for another season. If they joined us and did not return to Sheffield on loan, then what that means for Gunter and Hutton and Chimbonda is another wonderful conundrum, as our right-back collection grows and grows. Some fetish.

Damn it, I’m doing it again, aren’t I? Summarising.

I’ll be following the latest by browsing the back pages of the English newspapers whilst I sun it and hope that my consistent record of being abroad when Spurs open the transfer floodgates continues.

Only other thing I want to mention before signing off is our 3-0 win against Exeter last night. Defoe, Modric, Lennon and Huddlestone all looked sharp. Pav and Bent were solid and Dervitte (our young French centre-back) wasn’t too shabby alongside Corluka. Bentley also did well and The Prince lined up impressively with Palacios in the second half. At least in his head he did. He looks the part, but just don’t think he plays the part. Pre-season should allow Harry to decide whether he is adequate cover for the central midfield.

Danny Rose played ok. I expect the young lad to play some part in the season ahead, a cameo here a cameo there. Shame there was no Adel. Not sure whether this is due to injury, but that’s wishful thinking.

Gio not present, but that might have to do with International duty. Keane wasn’t all there. Still looking a little broken after his Liverpool mis-adventure.

But let’s chill out, it was Exeter and it was our first pre-season game. It’s going to be interesting to see who plays a part as the week’s progress. I guess we can start talking about breaking the Top 4 after we thrash Barca 5-0 at Wembley.

Anyways, see you on the other side. By the end of next week here’s to an England Ashes victory and one or two brand spanking new players unveiled at the Lane.

COYS.

Vucinic? Jog on mate

We've been linked with 107 players thus far in this transfer window. I'd wager we've either shown genuine interest or inquired in about 12 of them, 15 at a push. But still stories get printed based on either the imagination of tabloid hacks or football agents looking for some promotional space in the sports columns to make everyone aware of their clients possible availability. And everyone treats this as gospel, as part of an never-ending tapestry of truth.

Always makes me smile when a player actually responds to such a story and is quoted spurning the team linked with acquiring his signature, usually with distain and arrogance and a swagger that screams 'how very dare you show interest in me'.

Mirko Vucinic is one such player. I know my football. Outside of England I follow La Liga but I'll hold up my hands and say that Italian football is one interest that faded many years ago. I have not a clue whether this player is any good or if he would adapt to the English game. He could well be the Italian Darren Bent for all I know.

At the moment it's useless to talk about Vucinic because to me he is a nobody, a non-entity, a name printed in the back pages of a newspaper. If we are linked with someone from the continent I'm aware of then we'll see. Obviously there are players I wouldn’t want us to ever seriously consider.

Vucinic? Let's reject him.

I'd be sorry if he left Roma. Best place for him.

Next..?

Good news, the wait is nearly over

I have some decent news. Without fail, every summer when I'm out of the country sunning it up in the Mediterranean, Spurs sign players. Last year as I lounged on a sun-bed I got a text message to tell me that David Bentley had signed. Christ, how I jumped for joy at that one. So, the big day is this Friday. That's when I jet out of Blightly for 7 days of 100 degrees Fahrenheit temps. And that's when the transfer floodgates open for a refreshing shower of much wanted incomings and thankful outgoings at White Hart Lane.

I'll ignore what the tabloids are saying this morning, as it's simply a re-hash of what the message boards were talking about last week. Although, ironically, telling you what the boards are saying is probably what the newspapers are reporting on today. So…

Patrick Vieira. A not so golden oldie. A player who hasn't been anywhere near exceptional for a few years now. The ITK's say it's a done deal. Which probably means it won't happen. If it does, what we have is a player who could galvanise the players around him much like Edgar Davids did when he signed for us. Does he still have what it takes? I have no clue. Haven't seen enough of him for Inter and I'd hazard a guess that the slow-pace of Serie A is a far more comfortable zone than the fast-paced EPL. I guess if he is 'cheap' and the contract is short, I have no reason to complain. You never know. He might still have something about him, enough to bring further stability to our midfield. The fact that he's ex- scum obviously grates me. But if a player wears the Lilywhite, then he has my backing. For 5 minutes at least, after that, I'll tear him a new one if he doesn't perform to the acceptable standards.

As for the other whispers. It’s the same names being touted out to the same clubs in the same repeated rotation. Sunderland signed Frazier Campbell after being linked to Bent for an age. Fee can't be agreed between us and them over Darren. We want Jones as part of the deal (shudder) but apparently Villa are now front-runners and are hoping to claim Bent as their own. This, unsurprisingly, means that Young is coming to us because Downing is now a target for Martin O'Neill. Bentley is also somehow involved in all this as some form of bargaining chip. It's probably the 10th time now that a variation of this transfer saga has made the headlines.

Huntelaar is still getting a mention, but it's probably nothing more than agent talk to push Stuttgart into finalising the deal to sign him. I can't see him at Spurs.

There are some fresh stories, believe it or not. But nothing overly exciting. Sheffield United youngster Kyle Naughton is a target along with team-mate Kyle Walker. But both players (if signed) would remain at their current club for next season, for development as they are both kids. Everton have been heavily linked with Naughton. Nothing certain, except that its factual thanks to Sheff United comfiring the interest. Talking of Everton...

Tim Cahill is getting a mention from some quarters (LOLZ) having been apparently sighted with Harry Redknapp (ooh). I know Everton are hard up, but there is no way that Cahill would move on from Goodison Park. Just my opinion. If it happens, I'll shave my head.

One piece of devastating news is that Chimbonda is happy to stay at Spurs. Until someone finds him. Apparently Pascal is aiming to break the hide and seek world record. My guess is that he's managed to hide himself behind the stack of unsold copies of the Opus in the store room at the Spurs club shop. But there's no need to look straight away.

So, as you can see. Another week, the same stories doing the rounds with one or two new entries to add. I think we've been linked now with around 85 players since the end of the season. What does this mean? I'd guess that Levy has rid the club of any potential leaks, leaving hacks and fanboys throwing shit at the wall hoping some of will stick.

Until I leave the country, keep the champagne on ice.