This is Redknapp

I see a number of you have misunderstood (misinterpreted) Redknapp's CL quote. Either that or simply taken it out of context and stretched it as far as you can for further ammunition aimed at the target on his back. Any excuse, right? Not sure why considering the amount of gold you can so easily find in his back catalogue.

It's Redknapp, he's hardly the most articulate. He has all the elegance of a brick through the window. If you've not seen it, I'm referring to the interview on SNN earlier today. He cited Champions League football, which included the utterance 'it's over-rated'. He was talking about money/contracts and how players use the 'ambition' of CL football as an excuse to earn ridiculous wages elsewhere (reality is players will move to where the money is). Don't even think this is the first time I've heard him say this. And yes, CL does equate to money...but say we had CL, would that see us compete against City and Chelsea for players? No, probably not based on what's already happened this summer with the Hazard whoring.

And yes, Redknapp is always going to deflect in some way, he's done it all season long. In this instance, his vocabulary sets him up to look dismissive more so than the actual point he was attempting to make. Although haters will hate and say that he's only hooking himself onto excuses rather than perhaps attempting to highlight positives. This is Redknapp, it's the way he's built. People need to stop berating him over a trait he will never lose. He's never going to change. Stick a microphone in front of him, if he needs 10 words to make a point, he'll use 100 and the point he makes will protect his own agenda. He'll always protect himself, whether he does it consciously or subconsciously. Get this...all managers do it. Harry just isn't very good at it. What he is good at is contradicting.

Save your energy for the excuses during the season, not outside of it, and not the soundbites used to entertain presenters of Sky Sports News.

Just my opinion.

The bigger questioning (re: the interview) should be over his contract and ye golden contradiction (told you he was good at it) regarding his one remaining year left and the impact it would have on our players (and our transfer targets). That and the fact he can't contain such matters for private consumption between himself and Levy. That was by far the more 'damaging' of his soundbites. But this is also of no surprise. Harry continues to bask in detachment and disassociation.

Watch the video here.

Nothing has changed from the opinions I outlined in my Regression series (click here, scroll down a little). He remains about the short term and about self-serving. Like most people involved in modern football. If he retains focus and if he and Levy work together during the course of the summer then we'll easily compete next season. Again.

Latest Redknapp quotes

"Let's be honest, without me they'd be playing Championship football"

"It's going to be swansong for Luka. Chelsea will sign him, he's got to go there"

"If we win the cup its because I won it not because Spurs won it"

"I'm going to play Bale at centre-back, he's a natural, he can play anywhere and it's his best position"

"If you delve into history, I invented football in China just after I cracked time travel"

Harry Redknapp > Brad Pitt

Tottenham 'Money Ball' Hotspur

by Sibs

Ok, stick with me on this one, as I know the title of the post implies I'm about to chat away about baseball and maths for a while.

For those that aren't familiar Money Ball is the latest Brad Pitt film that will no doubt win an Oscar or two. It is based on the story of Billy Beane, the General Manager of the Oakland Athletic baseball team. No, I haven't seen the film, read the book, or claim to have any knowledge of baseball, but I do know the basis premise of the film/story.

Beane set about building a competitive baseball team, based not on conventional thought about how the game should be played and the statistics that should be used, but on a new series of stats and analysis. This led to him fielding forgotten about players, and drafting players based on numbers, rather than the advice and thoughts of scouts.

The results worked.

There was a program on BBC 5 Live the other night, about Money Ball, and relating the story and working methods used to football. It was interesting that they used Scott Parker as a typical example of a Money Ball player...

Read the rest of the article here.

Back him or sack him?

Guest-blog from @therealflannerz

This time last year everything at Tottenham was triffic. We qualified for the Champions League and all we needed was a striker to improve the squad. Fast forward a year and it’s all looking completely un-triffic. We’ve lost both our opening games; have a goal difference of -7 after going behind in both matches and capitulating. Also, there’s the minor fact that our best player is whoring himself to Chelsea and his ‘head isn’t right’. As well as all this, there are lots of other factors that haven’t been right for a while and I believe these have a significant effect on the squad and are causing me to seriously question Harry Redknapp.

I’m not one of the fans who has never taken to Redknapp. I was very happy when he was appointed and thought he was the right man for the job. However, even in the season we got fourth place, I was concerned that we struggled to breakdown teams that parked the bus. That only got worse last season, causing us to draw nine games at home, which ultimately cost us fourth place. The arrival of van der Vaart was supposed to help us unlock these defences, but he faded after a good start, which leads me to my next point.

In some ways it’s like being a Spurs fan in the 90s (not quite, but...) again because of our horrendous injury list. Not only do our players keep getting injured, but players are being rushed back from injury and are playing when they are not fit. It also seems that our players are not as fit as they could be. van der Vaart for instance, faded after an hour during most games last season.

Redknapp has been credited with reviving Gareth Bale, but Bale’s form has dropped off since the Inter game. He was always going to get more attention, but the coaching staff don’t seem to have helped him work out how to cope with getting doubled up on. He also seems to stand by the touchline expecting the ball, instead of running behind the defenders and using his pace off the ball. Our other flying winger, Aaron Lennon doesn’t seem to have the confidence he has had in the past, and doesn’t roast the opposition full back like he used to.

These aren’t knee-jerk points, these are all concerns that I have had for some time. Against Man City, Bale and Lennon should have destroyed their fullbacks. Zabaleta got a yellow card in the first half and Lennon has torn Clichy a new hole in previous encounters. Instead of being run ragged, the City full backs had an easy time of it.

Because of injuries we have started the season with a severely depleted squad, especially in midfield. You can't ignore this fact. When I saw our line-up I instantly knew we would lose. A central midfield of Modric and Kranjaer was always going to get opened up time and time again (visions of Katie Price opening her legs). Why didn’t he try Corluka in central midfield? Football Manager says he can play there! On a serious note, we needed someone in there who could win the ball. Instead of admitting he was wrong, he has tried to blame Modric. Redknapp likes to deflect attention away from his shortcomings. He doesn’t want to miss out on the England job next year does he? (I won’t go into his constant comments in the media about Modric).

With all of this, I am seriously starting to question whether Redknapp is the right man for the job any more. With the possibility of a court case and the England job, surely the board have contingency plans? Will we have a new man in charge sooner than we think? The board are already unhappy at finishing 5^th last season. Levy would be annihilated by the media if he did give Redknapp the Spanish archer, but he’s not afraid to make tough decisions.

Back him or sack him?

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Don't blame me, blame him

Harry Redknapp working his way through his copy of 101 Summer Transfer Sound-bites for the disconcerting manager by Harry Redknapp.

According to the gaffer:

- There is nothing happening in the transfer market

- He needs to sell four or five players to bring in funds

- Levy has made it clear to him the club have to move a few players before we can start doing any business

- Unless we reduce our squad numbers we will stay quiet in the market

Superb, such depth, such clarity.

Harry has this gift of saying something when there is nothing to say. It's like he can't just leave it alone with a simple, subtle and polite nod towards the fact the club are going about their business like most others without the necessity to provide directors commentary.

The recent meeting between the club and the Supporters Trust revealed we are looking to off-load players. Which is pretty much like someone revealing to you Spurs play at White Hart Lane. To suggest we can't sign anyone until someone is sold is ludicrous. He then states the same thing again but differently.

(i) "I need to sell four or five players to bring in funds"

(ii) "The chairman has made it clear we need to move a few players before we can start doing any business"

The concluding comment about 'staying quiet otherwise' is laughable. I can see the official club statement from Levy post-transfer window closure...

"I wish to make it absolutely clear that by the time the next transfer window shuts we'll have sold a few players and then and only then we will sign a couple of new ones, but only if there is enough time to do business. It's been disappointing that we've not managed to bolster our summer war chest and spend it on new players but we remain hopeful that Santa Claus will broker some late Christmas deals in the new year."

All we appear to have here is a manager stating facts (yes, we have to sell players and yes money will go back into the pot) but using them in yet another tidy example of deflection and disassociation.

When we sign a player, sit back and note who takes all the credit for it.

In the meantime bask in the irony of a 2000 word article about nothing in particular.

Join the conversation on twitter

Redknapp

Some general musings and observations from today.

Sky Sports News constantly running the 'Luka Modric wants to leave Spurs' story then breaking the Daniel Levy statement response and then still continuing to run the original story like it was completely irrelevant that the club had shut up shop over any possible transfer.

Harry Redknapp on TalkSport. Never listen to this station (I guess only idiots do) but tend to look for relevant interviews or sound bites when told to do so and our gaffer post-Levy statement gave one of his routine interviews to the station.

Read this article for a general overview.

Do you think he makes it clear enough that it's Daniel Levy's promise that the player will not be sold?

He's relentless with it. Okay, so Levy does have the power to buy and sell but once more Harry hardly endears himself with his disassociation tactics. Seems hellbent to get the message across that if anything hits the fan it's not going to projectile from his backside. It will be Daniel in urgent need of Imodium.

But then it's no great surprise. Harry looks after Harry. He's hardly one to talk about loyalty. But clearly his agenda is to always come out smelling of roses so in case you've not quite grasped it: IF MODRIC IS SOLD, IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HARRY.

@fizzyswizzle

Daniel Wynne of the Tottenham Hotspur Supporters Trust was also on TalkSport and mentioned how he believes Harry should be more positive about the club when speaking to the media. The same Harry that uses 'them' when referring to us? Disassociation tactics, invisible divide...no matter how you wish to describe it that's how he operates. At least that's how he began to operate last season when the pressure was on. Said it many times, he does great PR that will always appease his pals in the press but he can't quite master the relationship with the fans when things get a little pricky.

I agree with Wynne, Harry needs to be far more positive. But to do so he has to be consistent. I lost count of the times last season when we were in the race and out the race according to Harry. He don't half contradict. He talks like a consultant to THFC rather than our manager (to quote a nail on the head tweet). Perhaps that's all he is. Steady the shape, get us into prime condition for a younger more long term appointment post-2012.

Probably doesn't really matter what Harry says as long as he gets his message across clearly in the dressing room. He loves to have a word on camera, in a mic, so he's hardly ever going to shut up. So he'll continue to churn out the sound bites. Harry should have kept it short and sweet today.

Alas, just roll with the punches.

Love him or hate him, he's worked wonders for us. He has a chance to do so again this up and coming season.

Harry Redknapp loses his voice

I'm staring out the window at the moment. The evening sky where I am is an assortment of angry dark greys, all brooding and moody looking. If the clouds happened to be in a bar enjoying drinks, one of them is about to bump into another and spill a pint and it's all going to kick off. A downpour and a thunderclap. Any minute now. Here it comes.

That other window, the one most of us have our eyes on even when we sleep, is equally damp. What has today brought us? Just more suggestive journalism and soundbites. Very little dancing in the rain. Early days though, right? Reading too much into it, yeah? Might be sunny tomorrow, you just never know.

Abel 'goal machine' Hernandez bid rejected

In summary:

Uruguay international.
20 years of age.
Plays for Palermo, Italy.
£8.9M bid.
Maurizio Zamparini (president) rejected it.
£18M the valuation and alleged acceptable offer.

I don't know too much about the player but was told the quoted '2 goals from 22 games' is not quite factual. It's 3 goals from 12 starts and 10 appearances as a substitute. So statistically (not much of a difference), it's hardly the world class forward signing we need. But then if we did bid for the lad, considering it was a bid under the £10M mark you'd think this signing would not be the marquee statement we are eating away at our fingers for. Rather 'one for the future' who could still make an impact as our second striker in rotation. 

I've had the following pointed out to me (not disputing it, but if anyone has anything more to add, please do):

He's had heart surgery.
Recovered from an injury.
Is highly rated by the press and by other Serie A clubs.
He's expected to truly take the league by storm next season.
Cavani, in his first season in Italy, only scored 5 in 33.
Palermo are known for their good youth work with young South American players.

It's down to the person who scouted the player and fedback to chairman and manager on how best he could fit into the team. If they want more it probably wont happen because we are obviously working to a budget and can't over spend on players we don't value as highly as the potential selling club. Can't complain. We'd laugh off £20M for Modric if someone has the nerve to write a cheque for that amount.

Phil Jones. Nearly.

Harry Redknapp is always at hand to compliment others, never a bad word to say and always looking to make sure everyone knows he/we were somehow involved in the big story of the day. Phil Jones signs for Manchester United and guess what...we tried to sign him. He's obviously a lad with great potential, so I don't disagree with Harry on that. I'd expect us along with one or two others to be interested in the player. Why would you not be if you harbour ambitions to progress, push on and polish up on your squad by signing a young talented player? What I don't need to hear is a post-mortem on how we missed out, pinned to our chest like a badge of honour. Whether we inquired or actually lodged a bid or even spoke to Jones, I'm not sure. Harry has retained the details perhaps to reveal more in another interview. I guess the point is, why do we need to make public every single target or attempted signing? Why can't we just get on with it, and if it doesn't happen move on without comment? Why?

What? Oh yeah. Harry Redknapp.

Crouching Peter Hidden Somewhere

Here is the quote (apparently from Harry on a golf course, the bloke can multi-task with the best of 'em) in response to Peter Crouch being sold:

"I doubt it. Crouchy is a good player. I like him. He is a great lad and I love him as a fella. He is not one I'm looking to shift. We are looking to bring a striker in but he is not one of those that we are looking to sell if we can help it"

You take the Phil Jones soundbites as face value (perhaps with permission from the chairman to share the info, hinting at activity behind the scenes) but how to take the above? Personally, it's akin to the Bible code. A cryptic message can be found if you look carefully at the text, if you study it with time and patience. Here, take another look:

"I doubt it. Crouchy is a good player. I like him. He is a great lad and I love him as a fella. He is not one I'm looking to shift BUT HE'S BLATANTLY AVAILABLE YOU JUST NEED TO ATTRACT OUR ATTENTION WITH A BID THAT ISN'T ON THE CHEAP SIDE. We are looking to bring a striker in but he is not one of those that we are looking to sell WE'RE LOOKING TO SELL ALL OF THEM IF WE CAN REPLACE THEM WITH BETTER PLAYER if we can help it"

See anything yet?

Kyle Walker

Is Walker back at QPR on loan? Bit miffed if he is. Yes he's a right back and we have a neat collection of them in the first team squad currently, but I have this fantasy that he breaks into the first team and doubles up as a right winger (ala Bale's journey on the opposite flank) as back up for Lennon. He's a talent and unless I'm mistaken we've got the Prem, Europa League, FA Cup and League Cup to contend with next season. Always feels like we loan players out until they're good enough to be sold for a tidy profit. Hutton will be sold (I've been pinning needles into a voodoo doll since the end of the season) so we need some enthusiastic fearless yoof in the side for rotation and cover. Walker back to QPR? Apparently just red top gossip at the moment. Phew.

Redknappology

Once again (and as a conclusion to the running theme pillaging its way through the above) we find ourselves asking what is the internal directive concerning the manner in which we update the media on our every move? There is nothing to be gained (other than informing all of our scatter-gun desperation and the apologetic nearly men theme) to continuously comment on any failed bid or interest of an unattainable player. Once upon a time (be it a short space of time) it was all hush hush then suddenly bang bang...here's a new player for ya. Currently we have a living breathing RSS feed relaying conflicting information via a twitchy somewhat unreliable server updating us on all our transfer movements. Unless of course Levy let's Harry get away with it all because it serves him as an means to an end. Look at plucky THFC, doing it's best for a third successive window.

Harry loves a camera and can't help himself so it's more than likely that he uses the countless occasions to do himself some good and get the word out on players we might be looking to offload or sign or make people believe we want to sign. Levy in the shadows, lurking...allows it to play out because it won't make a blind bit of difference to the work he's doing. Remember the van der Vaart signing? Harry couldn't wait to let us know how the deal came about and underplayed it a little too. I think he's opportunistic with the soundbites. I just hope Levy isn't so opportunistic this time round with the signings. Three fantastic signings is what Redknapp wants the chairman to bring to the club. If that's the case can we stop with all this persistent Parker, Cole, that bloke from Fulham linkage? What's that? Rio Ferdinand? Murked.

Someone define fantastic (not to say a fit Rio wouldn't do a job for us, but seriously...define fantastic).

Harry Redknapp loses his voice? We live in hope. Even if it did happen he'd probably turn up on Sky Sports News dressed as Marcel Marceau.

It's stopped raining now. More of the same forecasted for tomorrow. Much of the same in the news columns too I'd expect.

This is as good as it gets

Firstly, frequent readers of this blog, I apologise for the lack of activity this past week in the build up to the season finale. I was brainwashed by the other half and spent most of it with her and the rugrat. Something about the latter celebrating her first birthday. To be honest, regardless of lack of time, I hardly felt inspired to match preview our final game of the season. When thinking 'football', my thoughts were on more pressing matters such as whether we have a decisive strategy with how to deal with the transfer window from opening to closure and if we plan to get our business done and dusted long before pre-season with viable targets already listed and targeted internally. Yes, I have my mind on science-fiction and my body is about to be frozen with the aid of cryogenics to allow for a more comfortable summer.

Okay, so 2-1. Pav with a couple of scorchers.

A game that spent most of the first half with no bite, like a sleeping lion. Plenty of teeth, just not on show. Livened up a little second half but mostly because of the Survival Sunday musical chairs playing out across the country. We performed with persistence considering this game was hardly do or die for us but we didn't quite brush the visitors aside where it mattered (in front of goal). Birmingham were plucky in pockets of play but without possession and without a Pavlyuchenko. In the end, Liverpool lost to Villa so 5th was secured regardless of Roman hammering the final nail into the coffin of Birmingham's Premier league life. Their fate sealed elsewhere on this day, Death lingering with his scythe, teasing the afternoon away.

The match doesn't warrant an in-depth analysis. Tag me with the lazy label. It doesn't mainly because it felt like an afterthought on this; Tottenham's finest ever season. Hey, don't take my word for it, just take the words of our gaffer. Go ahead and pick any words you want.

"This is as good as it gets"
"They're idiots"
"What do they expect?"
"Won't get any better"
"Anyone who has got any brains and understands will know it's been an amazing season"
"Go and support someone else if you don't enjoy it"

Redknappology at it's finest. I'll come back to ' finest ever season' and other discussion points in future blogs. As for Harry...

It's no longer about the cluster of contradictions. No point reminding him of when he talked us up as title contenders which probably followed a comment about how it would be impossible to finish top four again because nobody else will point it out. Sports presenters will probably just laugh with him when they repeat his rant on tv or radio. Good olde Harry, he's socking it to 'em. Let's play the video/audio every half hour.

He's reactive to whatever is happening at the time and is usually happy to share safe and media-friendly assessments and vibrant self-preserving pats on back for himself and all his friends within the game unless there is something eating away at him. When there is eating we are treated to body-shots of sarcasm and petulance. A glimpse of his true feelings. You can only play ball with my ball because I'm letting you play ball with it.

Crouchie responding to a fans request for a strand of his hair

Let's send him to QPR next season

This isn't another slice of some 'lets all hate on Harry' propaganda. The actual crux of the problem, the reason why people (that's Tottenham fans regardless of whether they pick up the phone and dial up a phone-in show - which by the way, if idiots call up to complain via this method of communication it's ironic how it's the same method of communication Harry uses from time to time to hype up his portfolio) are unhappy is because of his body language oozing vanity and ego whilst spitting out disrespectful snides.

He's upset at the idea that any one would possibly dare to criticise him. Perhaps humility is a commodity he hasn't quite grasped can work in his favour, even if his underlying agenda (self-preservation) remains the same. We don't have to know we are being fooled. He doesn't have to comment on anything and everything and end up drowning in all the rhetoric.

Harry is deeply lost in his tapestry of talk like a badly organised Inception where he can no longer tell what level of the dream state he's in. But it doesn't matter because his media chums will not question the lack of continuity. What is birthed from this is Harry + tabloid story versus the ungrateful impatient fans. Makes us look fickle. We can do that just fine thank you very much without any additional help.

He cites the great Champions League adventure (which it was always going to be) and our wins at the Emirates and Anfield and against Inter and AC Milan. All great moments in terms of how much this side has progressed under his guidance (be it at the same standard of last season rather than a massive improvement).

Now perhaps another manager might actually brush it all off and say something along the lines of, "We've had some highlights this season, learnt one or two things. We're growing, progressing...but winning at places like Arsenal and Liverpool...this shouldn't be seen as anything other than what is expected. If this club wants to be top four or better we have to always look to win away to other 'top four' clubs. We've done well, it's a learning curve...but it's hardly worthy of being showered by an ice bucket".

In other words: Under play it. But that's not his methodology. He is far too involved with making sure nobody has missed the point: It's because of him if the because is something to sing about.

I have no idea if behind closed doors Harry does under play what he says in public. That behind closed doors he outlines the disappointments and how we have to look to improve further. Perhaps we believe what we see is what we're getting when in fact it's not and there's more than the one dimension. But considering the history Harry has with referencing players in post-match interviews, I doubt it. He's so wrapped up in himself he can't even contemplate genuine mind games of the ilk that would appease the Spurs fans who dislike his ways. For all the talk of his great PR skills he hardly displays them where it matters most.

Simply put, there are no other dimensions.

It's pretty much like if they cast Michael Caine to portray Jose Mourinho in a movie and Caine based his performance on post-match videos of Harry Redknapp. It makes no sense.

Harry is Harry. He does what he does. Deflect, protect and blame. He's obviously not a Jose and it's unfair to compare of course, but it's worth reflecting on the fact that with Jose it's Jose + the fans versus the world. A brand of unity that binds the manager and team with the fans unequivocally. We have a far more fragmented variant.

Harry doesn't play off the media in any clever way He just uses it as means to make sure he has his back covered. We knew this from before, it's no shocker. Still, anyone would think he was fighting for his life the way he was soundbiting our 'amazing' (it's the new triffic) season.

There is no need for him to be so defensive. Someone like Martin Jol, say in another hypothetical, would be quite apologetic when looking back at the season we've just had if he was the manager. But still carry a hefty weight of pride with his words that would warm the cockles of the listening Lilywhites. Even if he also carried the extra weight of responsibility for the failings that saw us fall short of another top four placement.

Redknapp prefers to simply remind us of how improved we are as a team and how all the positives are because of Redknapp. Of course they are, he's the manager. Everything the team does on the pitch is down to him. The good and the bad.

There is no need for him to be so defensive unless he can only be so because he can't fathom the reality of anyone daring to question what he knows was a disappointing end to the season (3 wins in 15 if my maths is right). That's not being ungrateful, citing such stats. They are worthy of discussion. United have won the title by accumulating 68% of all their points at Old Trafford. We've only lost the once at home all season in the Prem. Turn some of those draws into wins, and my God, he'd be banging on the door of the Buckingham Palace requesting a knighthood right about now.

THFC remains on the up. It's good to have the problems rather than sat in mid table. We should not be in a position of fragmentation regarding the relationship of manager and fans.

We've not had it so good?

There's more than an element of ample truth in that statement. It was however hardly delivered with a loving touch. And perhaps he meant across the two seasons, although he clearly stated this season to be better than the last. It's all relative. By definition this season might be deemed more memorable and the better of the two because of the CL adventure. In the grand scheme of things we've simply retained a level of consistency meaning we are in the position to challenge again within what is the most competitive top tier of any league in world football. We could have done better, it's a fine line and all that.

So yes, we are grateful and we're more than content that this club of ours finally has some stability on the pitch. We can look forward to being in the thick of it, from one season to the next. We can compete, we've proven that. So Harry should be taking that onwards rather than dwelling on any feedback or opinion (which is our God given right) as being some form of dagger to the heart.

It's all getting slightly embarrassing now. The post-match interview with Sky Sports was ugly.

Harry - I'm no longer certain it's us that you need to be constantly reminding we haven't had it so good. You've never had it so good. That huddle in the middle of the pitch that galvanises our players and stirs up emotion from the fans before kick-off. Get in amongst it.

COYS.

Images taken from Facebook via Daniel Nash (Crouch and his disagreement with a fan) and Twitter (Keano banner via @BurkosBox).

Original creators of Keane banner are Dan and Ben from Bedford. Clicky here.

Things Harry Redknapp will say next

First there was the epic “I'm going to go and commit suicide, it's so sad”. Then he delivered the punchy “99.9 per cent of people who go to Tottenham have loved everything they’ve seen. That’s all that matters” and the exquisite “They’re idiots who don’t even watch football".

DML and Spurs fans on Twitter present to you...things Harry Redknapp will say next.

"Bill Nicholson led this club to the double, but he didn't have the handicap of two points from eight games"

Speaking on Oprah Winfrey: "The reason the NDP is non-viable is because there's no room for my statue"

"Spurs fans need to wake up and smell the coffee. If I wasn't appointed boss they'd be sitting midtable in league one"

"I established the club in 1882. Some "Fans" seem to forget that..."

"When I left they had 3 points from 8 games. Triffic compared to where they were when I started"

"Spurs will not be signing any players from La Liga. And up after the break on Sky Sports News, Jim White will be with us"

"Top nine finish is superb for them, superb for this club. Remember, they were bottom when I arrived. Two points from..."

"Look, all I did was unzip and urinate in their direction. I wasn't technically speaking aiming at the home support"

"Two points, eight games, two points, eight games, two points, eight games, two points, eight games"

Harry on potential signings: "I like that Revisita La Norther Premier Hotpoint League. That's the standard of player we'll go for"

"I did tell the FA all about my minor indiscretions when I took the job"

"Yeah, he's a good lad that Tony Cottee. He'll be fantastic upfront with Crouchie with Billy Bonds slotting into midfield"

"I didn't lose today, they did, them lot. Spurs. Nothing to do with me is it?"

"What I'm going to do to celebrate 3 wins from 13 games? Not much, probably just go home and have a bacon sarnie and walk the dogs"

"Crouchie and Defoe, unlucky not to score. Not our day. England fans should be happy. Quarter-final? I'd have taken that"

"I love a bit of wheeling and dealing, it's what makes football proper"

#futurearryquotes

Ain't no pleasing you

guest-blog by Chris King

When is it no longer acceptable to complain? To moan about a service provided, an experience gained or an attitude presented to you?

What makes it unacceptable? Do you have to take in to consideration everything that has gone before – to apply a “mus’n’ grumble” attitude to everything you do – as hey, there is always going to be someone far worse off than you; someone below you – way below you.

When do you hand over your right to complain? As soon as UEFA doles out their 30 pieces of TV silver; or does it go back further than that – to Eastlands last term, to when Harry signed, to when Jason Dozzell went back east?

This is the picture currently being presented to Spurs fans – fans who feel they want to exercise their right to politely point out where the team has gone wrong over the last couple of months. To comment, complain even criticise (lick windows and howl at the moon as some in the media are suggesting us “nutters” do). Yet we are being reliably informed that we are clueless; that we have no right to moan about this past season – as this is the best it has ever been (since circa Sky and all that).

Swallow your penance, shut up and accept your lot.

But what if you are one of those book learning types; you know – those that can read. Can look at a set of results, the names in a squad; understand maths sufficiently well to add up points that could (read: should) have been gained against those clubs below yours. What if you then came to the conclusion that all was not right? That something had gone wrong; horribly wrong – and the slight swagger you presented to the world back in March – was now a hunched shuffle, which had you sloping back in to the pack – to where most believe you truly belong.

City beating us was no great shock last night – eggs, paper bags, and the geek’s even nerdy dad could have Spurs in a rumble right about now. Yet if you read twitter last night, or skimmed through the obituaries – sorry – I mean match reports this morning - you’d think we were just popping off cloud nine for a pint of milk, a decent keeper; and we’ll be back amongst the big boys before next season was but a few weeks old.

It was official – we weren’t allowed to complain. We weren’t allowed to pluck figures like one win in 10 (I appreciate it’s more, I just like round figures) out of the cold, hard facts. We weren’t allowed to comment on the apparent lack of desire at times against West Ham, West Brom or Blackpool. 

We weren’t allowed to question the tactical acumen applied to the team selection in those game, or last night – or the switches made, and the personnel introduced. 

Unbeknown to Spurs fans, a new law was passed across the land placing the penalty of treason on any negative comments directed at the Red Top’s new “King of Hearts”. Harry is lauded as a very good manager who had a bad run with a few dodgy decisions, sendings off, injuries – it was always someone else’s fault.

But what if we want to complain? What’s stopping us?

Well there’s the ever so slightly patronising undertone that we’ve been shockingly bad for so long that, To Dare – is apparently above us. We should be happy with the fact that we’ve beaten AC and Inter Milan – we’ve had a run in the Champions League that no one expected of us, and that we took our beating against Madrid like men.

If there’s a Spurs fan out there that can’t find a positive from the season, then there is a little more than something wrong with them – and in fairness, to those baying for Harry’s head, only Vicente del Bosque would get the sack after some of our European results this term – but there is no disputing that our season was derailed sometime in March – and if we can’t moan, then at least let us ask why it all went so wrong?

I don’t buy in to the notion that the European experience did for us. We’ve been all over clubs at times – West Ham at home, City home and away – and what have we got to show for it? If we can’t criticise Harry, do we point the finger of blame at Dear Mr Levy? – who is so cunning in his transfer bargaining that he left us a striker light, and gave us Pieenar – a player who appears to have left what form he had, back up in Liverpool – no doubt a victim of that gang that targets the prized possessions of their local players.

But we can’t moan – nor question. So what do we do? We do what all Spurs fans do at such times, we argue with each other. If no one is prepared to listen, we find someone to at least shout over the top of on the same subject matter; though for once, we all seem to be shouting the same things.

No Journos will return our tweets, opposition fans only see the folly in our arguments – we’re no longer the darlings – back to being the overly expectant, laughing stock we’ve been since the ‘80s.

If last season delivered the earth, this season promised the moon and the stars as well. There was, daft as it now seems - the faint glimmer that we might even be the club to take the title race in to May. Looking at our last 13 league games, the teams we’ve played and the points we dropped – would it really have been so daft?

Though I guess it is not really our fault. United, Chelsea and Arsenal are where they supposedly belong – City have bought their place at the top table, and Liverpool – well, they’re just the Liverpool of old; same efficiency, same manager, same reliance on the back pass to the keeper. So if it feels like we robbed ourselves of glory; chances are it just wasn’t meant to be.

So if you feel like moaning – ask yourself a few questions: are we better than we were under Francis? Have we enjoyed some fantastic European nights down the lane this term? If the Red Tops want Harry for England, surely he’s still the man for us, right? If we’d have won half of those last 13 games, would we be back in the Champions League next year?

Actually, don’t ask that last question; it’ll only cause you to question, to moan….. To ultimately, be wrong!

Chris King, a regular on the old Shelf and held a season ticket in the Park Lane Upper. He now lives in Leeds, where he spends most Saturdays trying to teach his daughter the words to Spurs’ songs. Writes for In Bed with Maradona and his own blog Northern Writes.

Blink, and you'll miss someone else blink...

Evening.

Carroll bid rejected, ho hum. Remember when Sunderland wanted £25M from us for Jones. And where is Jones now? There's a Bentleyesque risk about it for sure. Although you wouldn’t scoff at say £15M for the Geordie, especially if he got the goals that took us back into 4^th and consolidated another Champions League finish. And we sort of kinda want some consolidation. The running theme since the summer continues its march forwards. Although it’s hardly a march. More of a drunken waddle.

From the outside looking in, you wonder how reactive and chaotic our search for ‘the answer’ is. Do we have a list of players that Levy and Harry agree are viable targets? I reckon so. Are they in agreement that say, player 1 is the priority but player 2 and player 3 will also be good signings. I reckon yes. Are they shifting from one to the other in a constant merry-go-round, flirting with player/agent/opposing club and using in addition using the media to perhaps aid manipulate and work their way to a resolution? Hell yeah. Considering how focused Levy is I doubt there’s much dithering going on behind the scenes. The issue, as frustrating as it appears, can be blamed on circumstance. Mainly, transfer fees and wages and genuine availability (from club and the player). You can't force the issue, especially if others are also playing the waiting game.

If none of the targets we want are going to join for any amount of reasons, then bidding £25M for Carroll might be the only way we can attempt to force some home made consolidation to arrive before the month of February begins. Or, if you like the left-field, Levy is making a bid for a player that Newcastle don’t and won’t sell in order to perhaps send out a message to one of the other targets and the club that currently owns said targets contract.

Last minute deadline day transfer shenanigans can sometimes appear to be frantic opportunistic desperate risks. Equally so, clubs can end up with 3^rd of 4^th choice players. I prefer to think that the links, the connections – they are there and when you get towards the last grain of sand in the hour glass both opposing clubs wait to make a final move, their best interests at heart.

Not to say mistakes don’t happen. Pav being one of them. £14M for one of the most apologetic forwards I’ve ever seen. And we’ve hardly thrown him in at the deep end and asked him to play ten straight games. Proved vital, ironically, last season with some important goals. But the point being – we need someone several ‘levels’ of upgrade above the Russian.

Caveat here: More irony, Pav almost felt like the second prize (player) signed and delivered because the Arshavin transfer never materialised, what with Zenit going loopy with their demands. Sometimes, your number one target ends up being tagged as a lucky escape. There's always an element of risk. You don't ever quite know. But if we spend, would rather a player that's young and has potential but can do a job here and now. Both aforementioned Russians flatter to deceive.

Great movement, good in the air, runs like the wind...cheeky bid?

I wouldn’t believe any statements anyone makes either as we edge closer to end of the month. Especially Harry who (as tehTrunk pointed out) resembles a footballing version of Comical Ali at the minute, constantly contradicting and deflecting. Other clubs are hardly going to welcome us in with ease and agents will always tell their clients to not appear too overly keen and eager.

When a call comes in with a final offer...it’s time to make up your mind. For all concerned. And deals tend to be made far quicker with the deadline in sight. The early part of the month is just teaser.

If Harry is truly sharing with us the truth, it’s an insane amount of transparency (i.e. ‘we can’t afford the wages of certain players etc etc’) so personally, there’s an agenda to all the soundbites. And the chairman is in on it. Just my opinion.

I'm actually disappointed that world football only appears to have four or five available forwards for us to flirt with.

Since the window opened there has been around 5-6 viable transfer targets based on history of prior stories, quotes and windows. I’m sure you’ve all been following the ITK updates as they move from one player to another. Reactive to what is actually being reported elsewhere. One of them is bound to strike lucky at some point. What a mess of love that will turn out to be.

Only piece of ITK I've been told (and asked not to share at the time) turned out to be true, even if the timing of it was off by several hours (and no, I’m not sharing it – it’s happened now so it hardly matters, but out of respect to the person it’s best left alone). The point is, the info was precise, unlike some of our esteemed friends (including the ones that have now retired thanks to the rotten fruit thrown in their direction after one too many tall tales).

Considering the amount of work that goes into transfers (ground work especially) the detail, the granularity of the details these ITK's go into can only possibly be known if they know someone at the club who sits on Levy's lap whilst he phones up chairman of clubs on the continent inquiring about the availability of target(s).

If I was a betting man, I’d wager on another vdV type ‘omg where did that come from?’ signing.

No new blood up front would be disappointing. We never consolidated in 2006 (remember that particular window?). Considering how the Prem is beginning to shape up, both chairman and manager must appreciate what is required to level things out. If we’re discussing it, so are they. And at the end of the day – literally – if something is going to happen, it will do so regardless of whether we know about it hours before.

Speculate to accumulate. We’ve got the money.

So who out there has the testicular fortitude to spearhead our attack?

Anyone?

The Five Stages

Denial.

It's not two points dropped - it's a point gained at Fortress St Andrews. Chelsea got nothing there. We've got players out injured, about sixty to seventy players. We're decimated. Our defence is beyond the realms of depletion. We've got a sixth choice centre-back in there ffs people! And JD is a bit rusty what with only just returning from injury. But it's still all good. We got a point there last season too, didn't we? It's a good result. And don’t fret, Defoe will regain his sharpness soon, he's three to four games away from being fully fit. Just needs a couple more appearances on the Xtra Factor and he'll be tip top. He'll be able to beat the offside trap blindfolded, I promise you. There’s nothing wrong with our strike-force. It will come good soon. They got lucky, should have been three or four to us. Mark my words. Everything is just fine. It's dandy.

Anger.

Mary mother of Christ, why? Why damn it, why? What's the point in beating Arsenal and Liverpool and then not following it up with another win? Can we not just hold out in the final ten minutes of a game? Its ten minutes. That's ten minutes of pulling it and holding it together without collapsing. Ten minutes, it’s not exactly the length of time it took Benjamin Button to regress from an old man back into a baby. And yet we manage to turn from giants into mice the moment the clock ticks over the 80th minute mark.

Same old Tottenham. Why didn’t Harry instruct his players correctly from the dugout? What the hell does he get paid to do? All he has to do is change it, you know, do something. Formations or something clever. Or a sub or two but not a substitution that fails to make us win. The sub has to work. And if it does works then, granted, it won't be down to him, just luck, but at least the result will be in our favour.

Ten minutes left and they equalise. It's gotta be Harry and his non-existent tactics. All his previous victories against Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool and City? Flukes. The lot of them. Flukes. He doesn't have a clue. Winging it. That's what he's doing. I could do his job. Sit on the bench, twitch a bit. Send a Russian on. Easy.

And Crouch, what is the point of Crouch exactly? We might as well play a ladder up front, it would probably give away fewer free kicks and is undoubtedly a better dancer. Can't head the ball, the ladder, so no difference there.

Why can't we just stick our chances away like other top top sides do? Harry really doesn't have a clue with how to make our forwards move about the pitch aptly and kick the ball in the net. Useless.

Bargaining.

Please tell me it's going to be fine? I promise to wash my lucky 1981 circa y-fronts  for the first time if we can just win two or three on the bounce. That's all I want. Just another run of games, three points a time. I promise I won't slate Jenas or Wilson or Crouchie. And no more accidental collisions with Chirpy when he's out shopping for the weekend in Tesco's. Unless he stares at me because then he's asking for a punch in his big fat stupid head. Or the back of his head when he's not looking, depends where I'm positioned to be honest. And if his wife, the skanky chicken, happens to get in the way. Self-defence your honour, self defence.

I'll sing my heart out unequivocally just for some sustained consistency and end product. We just need a defensive midfielder in there to compensate for the determent of our creative players always pushing up and the inability of our forwards to retain possession in the final third. Wasteful of the ball in areas of intent. Which results with the likelihood of dropped points because we allow the opposition a chance to claw it back. It’s cheap.

One goal is never enough, right? Or is it? No, it is. I reckon it is. If we don’t ship any in the opposite direction.

Depression.

What's the point? I can't handle this. I can't handle the expectancy and the pressure of needing us to win every game. It's just too much weight for me to carry on my shoulders. City have too much money, we can't compete, we just can't compete. In the long run we're going to lose out, so what's the bleeding point of it all if it's going to end in tears? We're gonna be crippled by the new stadium any  ways.

And Bale. Christ, we're going to sell Bale, I can feel it in my bones. Levy wants the money for his transfer kitty when we move to Stratford. Oh God no, not Stratford. I can't handle this, I don’t want to handle any of it. Just want peaceful tranquillity. This is just too much. We didn't even get a club shop dvd of the 3-2 win at the swamp. The Arsenal fans were right, it doesn't count. It doesn't count! Should have been a dvd! Ah damn you! God damn you all to hell!

And St Andrews. 1-1, when it should have been 1-0. I'd rather not experience this ilk of low. I wish we were mid-table going nowhere again. That type of hurt, it's hurt I can live with. Its gentle hurt, not losing three on the trot is 'good form' type of hurt. We're rubbish but its okay we're rubbish. Like West Ham. That type of disappointment, that type of expected disappointment, it's easier to cope with.

One clean sheet in twenty-two. One clean sheet in twenty-two. How's this title winning form? We might not be bottom but we should be. This is an unmitigated disaster. I'm taking the toaster to the bathroom. Oh Christ, I forgot to pay the electricity bill. I hate you Tottenham.

Acceptance.

It's going to be fine. We've been here before haven't we? We drew, it's not like we lost. We drew up at Everton last season, that was a far worst result but it didn't matter in the end. We learnt from it. We've got a patched up defence coming off one of the best weeks in our recent history, qualifying for the Champions League with a game to spare. Not much Harry could have done tactically. Gone more defensive? Killed the game off? Perhaps. But if the Brummies had scored after a tactical change by the gaffer he'd have been slated for not being positive enough had he gone defensive. If Pav had knocked one in we'd all be laughing now. Mistakes, individual mistakes are hardly the fault of the manager. Need to be clinical up top. Then manager will be deemed a genius.

Dropped points might catch up with you by the end of the season but then again it probably won't when others are dropping points but I guess had we picked up points when we needed to we could have placed down a marker and pushed onwards because if we win and others don't then we've got an advantage but it's hardly as convincing as when we drop points and they win. When that happens we're in masses of trouble. So what will be will be. We'll end up where we deserve to end up. Much like last season.

5th spot currently. Six points off the top. Three points off the Champions League places. Yes, yes, all good. 1-1 draw with Birmingham just another reminder of what needs to be fixed if we're going to progress to the next level:

Clean sheets. Defence needs to be consistent. Midfield bossing the tempo and dictating play - i.e. shut up shop, kill the game off with controlled possession. Do not invite the opposition to come a knocking on the door. Forwards holding up the ball intelligently and finishing off chances, clinically.

Easy. Jot it down on a clipboard.

Next up, Chelsea. It's up to Harry to navigate us through the game to victory using Cerebro-amplified powers to man-manage our players minds and feet and result with the Prem League offering us four points for the win.

Patience, it's the key. Missing players returning, the January window opening. I can wait. Patience. I promise I've got patience in abundance. We're not doing all that shabby all things considering. I can wait. Just a bit longer. We're almost there. I'm in the departure lounge. Just waiting for the delayed outgoing flight to be scheduled for boarding. Got my ticket. Not long now, not long. One way ticket to the that bit of land just beyond the promised land.

It’s going to be fine.

Faith. Keeping it.

Massively.