Fortune favours the bald

Let's see if I've got this.

Lloris.

Dembele.

M'Vila.

Remy.

Willian.

Kaka.

Moutinho.

All popular buzz words in a transfer window which promised so much early on then fell into stasis until Luka Modric's move to Real Madrid was finalised, for it to now come back to life. Although whether life here is a reawakening or something more akin to the zombie undead remains to be seen. And seen it will in the next...three days. That's three days to conduct more high end business in one window than we've conducted for years. In three days. All the missing ingredients for Villas-Boas to be armed and ready for battle, all the key areas that need strengthening will need to be strengthened in...three days. Sounds fairly ridiculous doesn't it? More so if you're already pessimistic and cite prior windows and lack of decisiveness display. But then most of the proposed deals have been long running, if you choose to believe the relentless media coverage this summer has blessed us with.

Yes, we've signed players in the past, of course we have. But we've been restrained in part, because of the uncertainty with the way business has been handles. Say, for example, the lack of a forward and the ongoing sagas pertaining to it. The reasons for this can either be blamed on the lack of apparent unity between Levy and Redknapp or perhaps the complexities of our finances. Just how much money do we have and how much of it can be spent on players? I believe there's money there. Quite obviously. We do well and we've already spent on quality this summer. But it seems it's a controlled budget accompanied by penny pinching. Which doesn't necessarily mean we're being tight. We're not bidding £25M for a player, because we probably can't afford to and if we do so it changes the bids we can afford to make on other targets.

Sure, our scouting system hasn't produced any surprise 'cheap' yet potential superstar acquisitions, aside from some of the broken youth players we pick up, mostly as an afterthought and not anywhere near first team cover. Perhaps the days of picking up a Modric or a Berbatov have gone what with the manner City sign players that in the past would have been shared across several top tier sides. It's all skewered and messed up. Something you can tag the transfer window with being thanks to it's culture of patience and kidology completed centered around it closing. And the fact clubs appear to be scared, for the most part, to do business well before that deadline.

Levy has to back Villas-Boas. The coach would not have taken the job if he believed our hands were tied financially to the point of head shaking despondency at not being able to bring in more players. Which means the nature of the transfer window has Levy playing his usual shrewd calculated tactics based on the fact that we haven't got money to spend over valuation. I've cited this already so I'm running with it. Although what exactly defines valuation is anyone's guess. We played hard ball with Madrid so other clubs are in their right to do the same with us. And what is market value? Are the supporters, the oracle of football, the ones that decide what constitutes value for money? I'm trolling. Clubs will pay and sell at what they believe to be fair where as others will accept gleefully stupid amounts of money because it's being offered to them. There is no balance or common sense most of the time. I guess the bargains are picked up from clubs that are desperate to sell because of debt.

And what of these other clubs? Porto wont sell Moutinho (who wants out) for anything less than their valuation which is more than we can afford. But are they reliant on seeing money come into the club this summer? Is it their preference to sell Hulk instead (who also wants out) to aid their finances and not take a hit to the style of play they are accustomed too? If Hulk doesn't move on because nobody wants him, Moutinho would because Spurs want him. And it favours Levy if Porto suddenly have to sell. It's not always about us holding back, the opposing club has it's own strategy and squad development to cater for. Which is why it builds up into a frenzy towards deadline day when the domino falls and everything ahead does the same.

In the past, under Redknapp, arguably there was no common ground found on targets. This time round, I don't expect the same under a new coach that is hungry to be successful and won't be able to achieve it without purchasing the right players for his system. So if Villas-Boas wants Moutinho and the club are 'talking' to Porto it's only wise we're doing the same with say Fulham over Dembele (I'm just going on hearsay with all this). Two deals ongoing, can't commit to either until that point in the window when a final decision just has to be made. Risky, isn't it? Not all targets can be signed with comfort early on. The ones we did had no obstacles in the way to delay getting that pen to paper. Even though Vert took an age to sign. But he wanted to sign and his club wanted to sell. Other things stopped it from happening. But even in a deal that was on course to happen, it still managed to stutter all the way till the end. Siggy was a far easier deal to conclude.

It's headache inducing and yet it can't really work in any other fashion. If there was no window players would hand in transfers requests during the course of the season. One thing we can all agree on is perhaps having the window close before the season starts rids the debate about 'dropped points'. Why it has to drag to the end of August I don't know, but then that's just a selfish standpoint thanks to the nervous disposition we all experience as the clock tick tocks away.

What also manages to not help is the 'in the know' culture of sharing supposedly inside information with thousands of people on the internet that feeds into websites, blogs and esteemed (and not so esteemed) newspapers as back page news. Most want to sell a story and need to match it with a headline that will draw more attention to it. So just because X journalist says something about X player we all assume 'it must be true'. Credibility; it's all very much mixed and fused with attention seeking and untruths. Some might have info, some exaggerate it. Fact is, with so many people involved (players, clubs, commercial agencies, agents) everyone involved is playing a game so there's never any guarantee the ones proclaiming the truth to outsiders are telling the truth. This adds to the frustration because you're not really sure if we've bid for a player or not, so when the player denies it you instantly feel deflated that we've missed out. Even if you're never seen the player play you're gutted. All you have left to comfort you is the five minute You Tube highlights reel.

I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't be attempting to rationalise any of this. At the end of the day the responsibility is with the club and if we're short of fire-power or midfield craft then we'll be left behind once September dawns on us. If it's all a consequence of surviving within our means as we work towards the new stadium, then our reality and our perception of it will have to adapt a little so that we can live through it with a smile on our face. Doesn't mean I won't be left scratching my head in amazement if we fail. New era, new coach, new training ground. Seems a shame not maximise all the potential there. I've been very optimistic about this so soon enough I'll find out if my faith has been misplaced.

So, what of the popular transfer targets I mentioned at the start of this blog?

Lloris.

Luka goes, then in we go for Hugo again, offering a little bit more than last time and having our offer accepted. Supposedly done. We're only confident because Lyon were the ones that revealed that it was now down to the player to agree personal terms. With Brad not the type to run off his line, Lloris fits the bill as a sweeper-keeper in the fabled high-line tactic that Spurs might gradually shift towards. A Villas-Boas 'signing'.

Dembele.

Hardly the same class as Modric but he's already in the Premiership and might be substantially cheaper than Moutinho although will still cost a packet as we know prices in England are always at a premium. Attack minded and from what I've seen of him could adapt as a player in a more deeper position than say Sigurdsson who is better placed in a more forward role. How a player adapts is going to be down to the coaching. We witnessed Luka and his shift from advanced left (cutting in) to a more central position before making the regista role his own at Spurs. Although he was always really a central midfielder. If I'm honest, I think Dembele is more of a van der Vaart than he is a Modric and expecting deep play-making from him might be beyond his abilities. Which means we could resign ourselves to the fact our style of play might rely on a different ilk of forward thinking. If he signs.

M'Vila.

Defensive midfielder. Do we need one? Sandro, Parker, Livermore already in our ranks. The latter would possibly suffer the most if we signed the Rennes man. If we do, would it impact the signing of a more creative player? Does VB plan to play with two holding midfielders with the likes of Sigurdsson and perhaps Bale taking more central and direct responsibility to carve out chances? Surely we need someone to own possession in the middle, allow us to flow with flash fluidity? M'Vila would not bring that particular dimension. But he'd give us extraordinary depth in strength in central midfield and perhaps with Parker's age and Livermore's youth, we need another beast to stand next to Sandro. We've got a long bruising season ahead of us. The more warriors the more blood the opposition will bled.

Remy.

Adebayor signed. Kane far too inexperienced. Defoe off to Arsenal. Yeah, sorry about that last one. It's one of the more humourous moments this window has thrown up. Literally, thrown up. We need another striker. A genuine goal scorer, one with guile and intelligence. Adebayor gives us that link up play, that work ethic through the channels but JD is an impact player at best. A smash it and see specialist. This is the one story arc that has run and run and sadly the ball has never been passed to the back of the net, just sent flying over on occasions but mostly the boot had struck a divot and the stands sigh. The likes of Llorente remains a dream. Perhaps one far too expensive to waste time window shopping on. Same with Leandro (for now). So the second tier of players consist of...Remy. Dzeko might have been an option if he was still in Germany. One of the Newcastle strikers if we wanted to aim closer to home. There are other players out there but thanks to the mere interest of a Chelsea or a City, they are deemed as redundant thanks to the hefty price tag hanging off their shirts. Remy would be a risk, but let's be honest. Any player would be. Including players of the moment like Ba and Cisse back home. We do need another forward. I'd love to refer back to this on Saturday with the word sensational signing!

Willian.

This type of player, positionally, would be superb. Anyone that can cover the flanks (or a flank) and play centrally means they offer that little bit more. Would also mean signing someone like this might make one of the other potential midfield captures unnecessary. If Willian is left-sided then it still leaves the right wing, so perhaps Townsend might get a chance there (unless someone tells me he's gone out on loan). As things stand, we have to bid more. Not getting a healthy vibe from this particular story. Don't think it will happen. But that's just based on Shakhtar laughing off our first bid. The player, apparently, wants to join us. That's got to count for something. Yeah?

Kaka.

We might as well throw his name into the big olde hat. Partnership deal announced with Madrid. Not in time to take Sahin on it would seem, so why not a former great that isn't that great (thanks to injuries) but still greater than most. I'd prefer we got the man below.

Moutinho.

You just know this is the key player. The one Villas-Boas wants. A true replacement for Modric, not a direct one in comparison pound for pound but one that can own that midfield like Luka did and dictate play. Again, that same tune is being whistled. The one that that tells the ditty about how the selling club want more money that the interested club are willing to pay. Willing or able. He can create, set the tempo but equally can defend much like Luka was capable of doing from deeper positions. A massive yes please from me.

So, what does all this mean? It means I know as little as you do and all we can do is guess and hope. It's fairly certain we have several bids in, some of which we won't see out till the end because one of those other bids might get accepted. It's a game of cat and mouse simply because of what's at stake for so many of the players involved. And by players I also refer to chairman, clubs and agents along with the footballers.

I'm thankful that I'm travelling Wednesday. Not back home till Friday, possibly just after 9pm. So I'll witness the last couple of hours of the window play out in full technicolor as the veins in Jim White's forehead start to burst the closer we get to 11pm. I'll be on Twitter when I can be, which is hardly the best way to enjoy (suffer) the transfer coverage thanks to the variety of extreme opinions social media is blessed with. If you haven't played with Twitter and you're not sure how to get the best (and worst) out of it, follow me @spooky23 then follow everyone I follow. You'll get more than a decent stream of Spurs chat and journalism (from the pros) along with other dramatics. Which might well put you off it for life.

Lloris. Remy. Moutinho. Ideally.

Lloris. Dembele. Probably.

Lloris. Remy. Moutinho. M'Vila. In fantasy world. With Kaka to warm the bench.

Be safe people.

Calm before the storm

I'm travelling, or will be shortly, so depending on whether I get drunk at the hotel bar and then decide to rant via iphone about our lack of apparent decisiveness with < insert complaint here > or perhaps not I probably won't blog anything of any real consequence until I'm back. There's hardly much newsworthy content doing the rounds at the minute. I guess I could make some up?

Not long to go before the start of the season, slightly longer till the closure of the transfer window. Seems it's shaping up to be a three-tier summer of activity. We got the new coach in early followed by two signings. That was tier one, giving us assurance and confidence. Villas-Boas has supposedly let players know if they have a place in his plans, the ones that don't will be sold (that's if anyone can match Levy's valuation of them). That was tier two, an assessment and clean-up. We all know long term dynamic changes in formation and methodology will come in the course of the season playing out. Villas-Boas has already, on a number of occasions, cited the fact that not too much will change initially. The most important aspect of all of this involves the work done on the training pitch and we won't know the level of impact until we visit Newcastle.

Tier three is where we find ourselves right this second. Ideally, the club will bring in two more players before the start of the season. Adebayor being the most likely one, the other also a forward. Basically nothing has changed from last week and the week before that. Everyone is waiting for something to happen. I've sat back and enjoyed the Olympics, not something I expected to do as I was quite cynical with it all beforehand. Not even sure why I was like that, perhaps the whole Stratford bid clouded my patriotism in the build up to it. I've always been a big fan of track and field, so happy this summer has included a fair amount of distraction. No such entertainment elsewhere. Tabloids, Twitter and ITK twits continue to regurgitate the same rumours with their suggestive cryptic clues. It's not that I'm bored, just anxious to see the season kick start.

As for Luka Modric, the longer the saga drags on the more concerned I become. I've blogged about this before, that there has to be a cut off date with this. If we can only buy certain transfer targets off the back of selling Modric to Madrid then there has to be a point in the summer, in the next couple of weeks where Levy's stance is final; "Bid 'today' or else the player stays". We can't sell him days before the deadline then expect to sign a replacement - unless there's a very definite domino effect waiting to play out. The easiest way to handle all this, as a fan, is to admit we (as fans) know nothing about what is transpiring behind closed doors. All we can do is have faith that the type of players we think we need are the very same type the chairman and coach are targeting. I think we can agree that is definitely the case. Otherwise we're doomed to the indignity of 5th spot :trollface:

In the meantime, I'll be on Twitter thanks to free hotel wi-fi, laughing at allegedly hacked footballer accounts and people generally wetting their panties in anticipation for something, anything.

The Fighting Cock podcast is also back this week, so look out for episode one of season two on Thursday/Friday. I won't be on it, but there's a guaranteed wealth of drunken philosophy that will cater for your listening needs. I have to wait until next week before I rejoin the glory hole of Spurs. Not forgetting the return of the 'Ultras' (to be renamed), following the Spurs youth team on their travels. We took 200 to Charlton last season for a FA Youth Cup game. More of the same this season including the NextGen series, including Barcelona at the Lane (although I'll hazard a guess the Spurs training ground fixtures are behind closed doors) - we'll keep you posted on the details.

Calm before the storm then. I guess we best enjoy it. It's going to go mental once the Kraken  is released.

(Kraken is a metaphor and not a £20M striker)

-

DML Supa Liga

Fantasy Football and me, do not go hand in hand. Full of confidence on day one, by Christmas I'm out of the race like a much maligned Spurs side of the 1990s. I blame other distractions such as Football Manager but the reality is, I lose focus faster than Harry Redknapp in the midst of flirting with England. However, you lot appear to want this back again, so knock yourselves out:

Code to join the DML Supa Liga is: 195141-56816  (via Fantasy Premier League 2012/13)

May the most obsessed geek win.

Understanding the Jan Vertonghen transfer saga

The transfer negotiation between Spurs and Ajax...

Daniel Levy: That's my bid.

Ajax: It does not meet our valuation for the player.

Daniel Levy: Okay. I will raise it by one pound.

Ajax: Rejected.

Daniel Levy: I will raise it by a further single pound.

Ajax: No.

Daniel Levy: I'd like to add another pound to the total offered.

Ajax: Someone get me a coffee.


Several weeks later...


Daniel: I raise the bid by another pound.

Ajax: No, I mean...hold on. Yes, okay. Accepted. You have met our valuation for the player. Now we must discuss the payment plan.

Daniel: Ten million carrier pigeons each carrying a pound coin on their back, blindfolded and with a drop of ketmaine injected into their...

Ajax: No.

Daniel: Tesco coupons to the value of the agreed transfer sum.

Ajax: No.

Daniel: Vintage Kenner Star Wars action figures, still wrapped in original packing to the value of the agreed transfer sum.

Ajax: Would that also include the Millennium Falcon from Return of the Jedi?

Daniel: No.

Ajax: Okay. Then my answer is no.

Daniel: Two crates. One crate has the full amount in copper coins. The other contains a box set of the full series of The Wire. You won't know which is which. Noel Edmonds will ask you to select and...

Ajax: Another coffee please.

Summertime High Jinxs

In an ideal world you'd be Barcalona. Enriched with a beautiful (the passing not the diving) footballing philosophy from academy to first team. We (over in N17) don't quite have the foundations in place to implement such a template. It's hardly a task you can set into place over night. The right manager (and perhaps dare I say a sporting director?) has to be at the forefront re-structuring from top to bottom the development of youth players and an evident style of play meaning when the club does go out and sign someone, it's not a scatter-gun approach or one tailored specifically for opportunistic signings and wheeler dealer bargains. Only a certain ilk of player would fit in. Everybody involved at the club clearly understanding how the game should be played and the aforementioned youth players, promoted successfully into the first team, completely and unequivocally Tottenham at heart.

In short, it's fantasy football at this moment in time.

For a clubs traditions to be the main driving force behind such an ethos, it will only happen when it's meant to. If we've had anything of an ethos at Spurs, it's always been to attack and play attractive sweeping football. We've gone about doing so in the past by just signing flair players and 'players of the moment', sometimes without any pragmatic approach on how they would all fit together. 

Throw enough paint at the canvas and you just might end up with a masterpiece <- it doesn't quite work.

Our academy always appears to produce players of promise, but we're still waiting for something to blossom.

We've got stability, but there's no point in discussing a Tottenham blueprint just yet. What does need to be discussed is the opening of the transfer window and the work that is about to transpire with hopefully players arriving and leaving. For the moment, it's the short term that requires attention in order for there to be more thought provoking frameworks in the long term.

Someone recently mentioned to me that he believed the vast majority of clubs favour a scatter gun approach when looking to sign someone. They fancy one player, they bid, it's rejected, they move on. The ones that single out a target or two and simply work towards them are always more successful. You would be, if you're focused on one person in particular or a specific type of player that only a handful of targets fit into.

You can categorise most forwards (for example) by way of style so you're left with deciding on age, experience and availability/price after working out if you're after a Drogba or a Defoe. You draw up a list with your preferred choices and work through it, unless you sign the one first on the list.

It will always look chaotic from the sidelines. Why? Well mainly because we are impatient, excited and also heavily reliant on whispers and news coverage. You don't really know what is going on until it actually happens (or when Harry turns up in front of a Sky Sports News camera to update us).

In 2006 we did not bolster our squad during the January window. We should have consolidated. We paid the price. These past two windows we apparently endeavoured to sign a forward and failed. I don't quite believe most of the supposed bids for La Liga stars actually happened. Perhaps Forlan and Rossi were subjected to our interest.

What was disconcerting was the manner in which we bid for Charlie Adam during the final hour or so.  Opportunistic and desperate...also so illogical, Spock would have died of an aneurysm had he been subjected to the madness.

Just because someone becomes available last minute, doesn't mean we have an obligation to bid, and yet that's how it appears to have played out.

"Adam is available, would you like me to bid?"
"Sure. Got 45 minutes left but if we can order a pizza in that time we can surely sign a player"
"You certain you want him? Where would he play?"
"Let's worry about that after we've paid £10M"

It's pretty clear we need to have decisive plan of action and a list of targets along with a heavily strained fax machine sending out 'come and get'em' pleas for the likes of Bentley and the rest of the fringe players.

We simply can not afford to dither and leave it all until that final week.

I'm not going to apologise for stating the bleeding obvious. It's just that the bleeding obvious has taken a leave of absence recently. So let's hope he doesn't spend the summer by a pool topping up his tan.

'Seasons End' articles:

The Progression of Harry Redknapp's Tottenham

Tinpots

Forward Failure

Midfield Majesty

In our defence

Spurs are not willing to sell Modric AND Bale

Tottenham will not be entertaining any bids for their key players this summer, news that will disappoint the likes of Manchester United and Chelsea along with dozens of journalists and sports writers across the country.

Luka Modric and Gareth Bale - both on long term contracts will remain at White Hart Lane as the North London club look to reignite their push for a Champions League spot next season.

Dearmrlevy.com understands that chairman Daniel Levy will only sell players considered to be surplus to requirements. The likes of Alan Hutton and Jamie O'Hara, more viable transfer targets for any one looking to spend some cash in N17.

The main focus for the chairman and manager, Henry James 'Harry' Redknapp, is to pin point new recruits with a centre-forward the main goal for the club. Daniel Levy has already reiterated they will not be selling any of their key players and are in a strong position to once more battle for a top four place if they strengthen their squad accordingly.

A source within the walls of White Hart Lane revealed, "I think people are using their hands to count up numbers in the dark rather than a trusted calculator in the light of day. £20M-£25M for a player Spurs paid £16.5M for is laughable considering his form and quality and even more so that Levy would be willing to entertain offers from a Champions League club as though we're sat 10th in the table with no hope of further progression".

The source also stated '...you wouldn't sell someone a twenty pound note for a quid'.

Luka Modric himself recently spoke about his desire to stay, "The fans are amazing, the club is amazing. There are Croatians here. I really do enjoy it here. I’m not missing anything. I think this club can achieve a lot of great things. I think we can challenge for the Premier League and the cups".

Welsh wizard Gareth Bale also pledged his loyalty to the Lilywhites in an Interview with Sky Sports News. But there are suggestions from some quarters that perhaps CGI and audio manipulation were used in both instances by Tottenham to hide the reality that both players are desperate for a move away.

Elsewhere, tabloid newspapers will wait another three days before rehashing the same quotes with additional ambiguity and citing Modric and Bale as £18M targets (value will drop with each exclusive) as they continue to unofficially broker a deal for any Champions League side that might be theoretically interested. Along with Juventus.

Potential replacements for Modric will only cost around £8M because it's the right amount of money to spend when replacing a player that is worth anywhere between £30M - £40M in todays inflated market.

In other news, if Manchester United or Chelsea or Manchester City for that matter do not sign Modric or Bale this summer, they most definitely will the following because Tottenham can't possibly finish back in the top four and retain their key players a second successive summer if they return to Europe's elite competition. That is simply not a viable scenario and we shall not speak of it again.

Choke on your cornflakes

Sports writers, if you're going to make up some sh*t about Luka Modric and suggest a proposed transfer figure can you please have the common courtesy to do the player and his club some justice with something far more realistic.

£20M for a player arguably the best midfielder in the country, currently on a long term contract?

Jog on and stop trying to appease United.

It's going to be a long summer. 

The Berbatov Hypothetical

Would you?

Some would say it's a little bit like taking back an ex-girlfriend who was cheating on you for a year before she finally walked out. Having completely fallen out of love with her, you let her walk.

The first reflex surrounding this suggested transfer (based on the fact that even though Berbatov has scored plenty of goals this season, he's benched more often than not for key games and went AWOL before yesterday's CL final) concerns the fact that Manchester United might want a little something in return. Guess it depends if they come knocking on our door, offering the Bulgarian as part of a player + cash deal for our little but big time Croatian.

Still on the hypothetical, I would hope Levy scans his private area and faxes it across to Ferguson with love and kisses. If we go knocking on their door (not implausible as seen by the Robbie Keane debacle) it will have to be a strictly 'no player swap' strategy.

There is hardly an argument concerning the players quality, say in comparison to what we need and who we've been linked with. He's better than anything we have. Can he play up front on his own with van der Vaart just behind him? Probably, quite easily. His working relationship with Keane is not too dissimilar in terms of vdV being a player who attacks the penalty area and looks to get on the end of it.

Teddy returned to us from Utd. But Dimi is no Teddy.

He sulked his way out of our club, striking his way to Old Trafford and igniting the beginning of the end for Martin Jol. Not sure too many of our players would be fussed to see him return, regardless of the alleged affect it all had on team morale at the time. All players by their self preservational nature are disloyal. Part and parcel of looking after ones own priorities.

Interestingly, there have always been whispers of this potential deal simply based on the fact he played for us in the past, we are searching for a striker and the relationship between player and manager has been one of an erratic and strained nature. All based on what we see on television and Utd's selection. No 'in the know' has suggested this, but probably will after yesterday so expect plenty of 'we're in talks' snippets to start appearing all over the place shortly.

So would you? Would it still taste as good?

Summer is almost upon us...

...so brace yourselves for the opening of the transfer window and the army of a thousand 'in the knows' that will bloody their sword in battle.

I adore the fact that so many people claim to have contacts/deep throats (or know someone who is connected in some wishy washy way) within the recently reinforced walls of White Hart Lane (if you believe the ITK that suggested Levy has tightened security of transfer shenanigans to a need-to-know basis).

All the information passed on from said insider(s) is then shared with the online community without hesitation. Although considering Harry Redknapp tells everybody via press conference who we're looking at it's hardly ground breaking stuff when something from within is then leaked into the public domain and is duplicated in half a dozen news streams. Guillem Balague also busy with the La Liga connections today (Osvaldo anyone?).

When the ITK's do let us know what's happening at the club, the information differs (in some cases vastly) from one to the next. So that's basically 40-50 people involved at the club at varying levels of employment who are privy to conflicting information (if notes were compared) and are all willing to share with people outside of the club that either use message boards or pass on the info to someone who does, resulting with rich ambiguity and canny cryptics of the transfer deal at hand. Yet rarely can any one ITK nail it beyond absolute doubt with definitive clarity. Then again, perhaps that's the point. Grapevine, whispers and misinformation.

Strangely, I can never force myself to look away. Probably because I need the material to work my way through the months before pre-season begins.

I've been privy to some information in the past (hasn't everybody?) although I know not a single person working for the club. The information was agent/player related and to be honest heavily dosed in salt. I've also been privy to other pointless whispers. But hardly any of it relevant to the necessity to know something before it happens even though if it happens you'll know about it regardless. Better left to the professionals.

Considering the variables at play and the limited scenarios that can potentially play out, if you throw enough **** at the wall, some of it will stick.

This summer the aim is to simply find the gem in amongst the rehashed echos of the prognosticative and the bleeding obvious and crown it as the definitive example, absolute clarity that Daniel Levy's Lilywhite walls have been penetrated and the juicy secret has oozed out into the wild.

I'm drowning in hypocrisy but I don't care. Follow the updates here:

ITK thread 2011/12

Robbie Keane off on 'loan' again?

Morning. If you frequent the Tottenham message boards and various other blogs, including this one, you'll know that there's been this pesky little rumour about Robbie Keane being unhappy. It changes from one day to the next. Apparently he wants out, then he doesn't (its exaggerated) then he does again. Others disapprove citing the fact that he has recently become a father again and that moving all the way up to Sunderland is simply out of the question. I'm more curious as to the reason (behind the sad face). Does he feel that having returned from the his shattered Anfield dream that he is somehow tainted back at Spurs? It doesn't quite feel the same as it did before? If you believe he is off, you might also believe he has a clause in his contract that states he has to play every game (and not get subbed).

I don't know. Personally don't want to believe this is true. I like him and regardless of the fact that he did not shine as bright as he did for us before he moved to Liverpool, he was still instrumental in that initial upsurge of determination that got us out of trouble.

If he is genuinely unhappy and he only ever returned to us because we offered him the only viable escape route at the time, then it's all a bit of a mess and the depression might be partly down to him knowing deep down he should never have left int he first place.

From pure football logistics, the reason why we might consider selling him is that Keane returning to Spurs was a little on the panic side of things. Redknapp prefers Defoe, or at least a player of his ilk, partnered up with a big tall striker. So Harry might simply decide that there is no room for the both of them. Something Spurs fans have always argued (the two little men can't play together).

I guess we sit back and wait for the 'Crouch to Spurs' rumours to hit the message boards.

2009/2010 Tottenham Summer Transfer Sweepstake

Day 29 since the end of the season. And still absolutely nothing has happened. This is becoming a weekly ritual and I apologise if I'm beginning to sound like a broken record. I guess I'm anxiously waiting to see one piece of ITK info leaked online hours before a transfer happens, so that we can all sit back knowingly knowing that we knew it was going to happen before it actually (officially) happened. But this is a little bit like expecting Zokora to hit the target. It's crazy talk, sheer crazy talk.

I'm afraid to say it's all gone a little Big Brother on us. Couple of million people watching, nothing going on and no signs of any new housemates.

There is of course the cute distraction of the Confederations Cup, which has provided some light-hearted entertainment. But I can't take any tournament that makes Robinho look world-class seriously.

So instead, all we can do is speculate and read between the lines. Just like last week and the week before that. Cue a quick round-up...

Plenty of air miles covered with Levy out in Madrid. Although why he was out there is uncertain to most. Was it to speak to Real Madrid about their available players for transfers (or loans)? Was it conduct talks with Sevilla over the transfer of Zokora (yes, I know my geography, but maybe their reps travelled to meet him). Only thing that's happened is that Didier for the minute isn't going to La Liga, thanks to our overpriced evaluation. Comolli rated him because of his engine and athleticism and some how missed the lack of the all important first touch and passing qualities during his scouting missions. Which is a little like watching The Deer Hunter and calling it an excellent movie, disregarding that never-ending wedding scene that for me wrecked the whole experience. Ok, that analogy sucked but I've been wanting for an outlet to slag off the Deer Hunter for a while now and I'm going to take it. Apart from the Russian roulette scenes its shit. It's just not that great a movie. There are better options out there.

Moving on.

It's gone quiet on Ashley Young too. And no news on Bent to Sunderland. Huddlestone is still with us, and his moment in the spotlight last week was when a photo-shopped photo of him sporting a gut and holding a McDonalds takeaway bag (standing topless alongside Lennon and others in a holiday snapshot) found itself the centre-piece of a Daily Mail article that pointed out that it was more than likely a fake. Cheers for that. I desperately found myself needing confirmation.

Elsewhere, I can still only find circumstantial evidence that Pascal Chimbonda is a Spurs player, and I'm waging it will be proved for certain when he's sold and we get the money from the transfer fee. Reckon that would qualify as hard evidence that he is (was) a player under contract with the club. Until then, we live in darkness. Gomes is happy at WHL, and why not? He rammed all the negatives back down the throats of the critics so long may his good form continue.

Roman is also hanging around according to his agent who told everyone last week he was going but apparently it was one of those zany mis-quote interviews and thus, the player is actually content at Spurs. Can't say the same for this time next Monday. Talking of mis-quotes, nothing much on Bentley over the weekend and no apology from The Sun over their alleged fabricated interview which according to someone who was with David, he (Bentley) never gave the interview. Controversy. Which is neither here or there because as discussed last week, he will probably end up at Villa anyhow.

But when? When will we dance a jig of joy and punch the air upon hearing the news that there's a new Lilywhite? Considering there are just a few days to go before the club unveil the new yellow on white home kits, we'd going to need a hefty piece of good news to help with equilibrium and avoid unrest.

So with the continuing lull, it's sweepstake time. I don't have anything to give away, although if you happen to hit the right day and right player, you'll be able to buzz off the fumes for a week thanks to the prestige bestowed upon you.

When will Tottenham Hotspur announce their first summer signing? Date and time and players name.

I'm pencilling in the 3rd July as the day of glory. Player? Huntelaar. Time? Around 5pm.

First player to be sold? Me thinks Bent, on the 1st July to Sunderland, 10pm.

Let the games begin...

Robben's dad is not the Real problem

There are moments, dark moments, when we Spurs fans get a little too giddy for our own good. We forget where we are momentarily and start to drool uncontrollably, talking in tongue, blacking out and awaking to find a tattoo of the latest transfer target on our backside. We become delirious, confused and say and do things we don't mean just to feed an addiction. Cold turkey is not an option. We just need a really big fix to sort us out.

And it's happening again at the moment thanks to the Real Madrid second coming of the Galacticos. Several Dutch players are apparently surplus to requirement which obviously automatically means that we are going to be interested regardless of whether we actually are or not but in all likelihood we will be, because that's us. People can point and laugh at Spurs fans claiming we are not a big club but outside of the Top 4 (and I guess Man City) we can show an interest in players of a certain quality because there is a chance they may consider joining. If Levy sells the idea of joining a non-Champions League side to the player (which is a difficult task considering how we are the perpetual 'next season' club) then they are quite willing to sign on. Players of the quality of Modric and Berbatov, for example, have no issues signing for us. Both probably won't go anywhere near the rest of the non-Top 4 clubs (except for that pesky Eastland's club) and as seen by Berbatov, when they move on they move upwards. Modric, no doubt will do the same if we stagnate again.

We do have pulling power. The question is whether the players we are currently courting are willing to take a hefty vanity hit. Even if they seem to ignore the fact that for pure footballing reasons if we are offering them first team football then its surely better than earning millions sitting on the bench. But the delusion we suffer is that we assume that just because a player is suddenly available then Spurs must be their only viable destination and how dare they not join. Usually we are simply used as a tool in the bidding war the agents orchestrate. We are forever ambitious and I hope we always are. Not everyone is going to feel comfortable joining a club in a state of continued flux. At least not the high-end players who believe they've already made it big.

Levy is (or was or still is) out in Spain. Ruud was the first target, apparently now pushed aside for the younger version (Huntelaar) and Henize (hasn't been any good for a few years now) has been added to the must have list according to the ITKs, message board slaves to transfer news and the trustworthy tabloids.

The 'target' that is making us break out in a cold sweat is Arjen Robben. His dad, informing all, that his son will almost certainly not be joining Tottenham. Injuries aside, on form, he's an immense talent. Which is why some fans are drooling. But if you can't remember allow me to remind you that the last time he played at WHL he spent most of his time diving and falling over and deservedly getting abused for it. A detestable, insufferable little man.

It's at this point you might find yourself asking - who cares if he's a hate figure? All the top sides have two or three (Chelsea have 11), although that's probably by virtue of being successful. But to be a winner, shouldn't we be signing winners? Regardless if they are c***s? But I guess the fundamental problem is, why would a winner join a team of losers? Which is what we are in their eyes.

Ironically, I wouldn’t be surprised to see him join Man City much in the same way he joined Chelsea. Both us and City want the same things, but we can't afford to offer anyone 100K + a week. Seems our history means little, with it sitting in the distant past of the early 80's and the almost mythical black and white 60's.

Robben's dad (and the player) will see Spurs as a downwards step. The challenge of being part of (yet another) re-vamped side that has a remote chance of making it into the Champs League is way too much effort for players who believe to be at the top of their game. You can't blame them. For the money they are on, why take a pay cut or a status-drop? Unless nobody else out there wants to take a gamble - which means that if Spurs are the only interested party then the player would need to decide on whether Madrid on the bench is still a better option than Spurs fighting for 5th spot. Fact is, players - in the modern game - are bigger than the clubs they play for. At least in their heads they are. It's a subjective argument this, but nobody can deny that in this day and age with football being fragmented the way it is, players have no patience. Why would they when they are offered riches to play for the biggest clubs in the world? Isn't that the whole point? People banged on about the G-14 and how it was going to have a detrimental effect on the game but the Champions League (what we all hope to get our feet in) has made it nigh impossible to challenge domestically, let alone bully our way into the monopoly.

Christ, it's depressing.

Money wise, we can’t compete, but I guess scrapping the reserve team allows Levy a little more room to manoeuvre on the bargaining table with more money now available. Robben's dad might be saying what he's saying just make sure Spurs come back with a more beefy offer.

But after a hot drink, and the giddy shakes under control, reality bites.

It's great we are in for players of this ilk, even if some of the players are completely unlikeable. Robben is no doubt one of the best left-wingers on the planet. He's had problems at Madrid, possibly of a disruptive nature in the dressing room as he appears to have fallen out with one or two of the players there. But considering his quality, he's not going to help out a side that wants to be challenging for the Top 4. He'll wait for a side big and bad enough for him to make a bid that already sits with the elite.

But don't fret. There's always Downing.

One thing being underlined by all these verbal shenanigans played out in the press is that the supposed club insiders only claim to know what's happening behind the scenes only react with information after a development has been made known in the newspapers first. It's almost July, and nobody knows nothing. No big fix in sight. Maybe cold turkey is the only option. I need a distraction that won't pull me apart emotionally and have me worried about what way we might turn as we attempt to build-up on swagger in time for the next challenge that awaits us.

When do The Ashes start?

Oh, and in case I was too subtle...it's time for a salary cap on player wages.

A short guide to understanding Tottenham in the transfer market

#23 Ashley Young


Spurs: We like the look of your boy Ashley.
Watford: You can have him for £1M.
Spurs: Hmm. Ok, well you know what. We like him, we do, but £1M for a kid who hasn't proven himself in top flight football? Listen, thanks, but no thanks.
Watford: You're declining?
Spurs: Yes, yeah…we'll be looking elsewhere. Just don't think he's worth that much.

-

Watford: Hello again.
Spurs: Hi. Your boy Ashley has progressed rather well.
Watford: Fancy him more do you now?
Spurs: Might do, might do.
Watford: Thinking of making a bid?
Spurs: Yes, perhaps.
Watford: How does £9M sound to you?
Spurs: Sorry...What? (laughing out loud)
Watford: £9M. He has proven talent.
Spurs: Yes, but Christ, really? £9M? That’s extortionate. I mean, come on, £9M? Nine million big ones?
Watford: You're not interested again, are you?
Spurs: Just don't think he's worth that much.

-

Villa: How can we help?
Spurs: Ashley Young. We want him.
Villa: Ok. We value Ashley at a price of £... (interrupted)
Spurs: £20M
Villa: Sorry?
Spurs: We want to pay £20M for the player.
Villa: Oh, ok, well I suppose...
Spurs: Credit card or cheque?
Villa: Well we've not had time to...
Spurs: Look, if you want something more than just money we can throw in Bentley and Huddlestone.
Villa: Didn't Bentley cost you £15M?
Spurs: And? Just take your pick. Bentley or Huddlestone. Or take both of them.
Villa: Can we think about it first?
Spurs: Great, no problem. Give me a call with one hour remaining in the summer transfer window and we’ll go about thrashing out a deal.

The End.