Tabloid exclusive: 'Germany invades Poland' - How Ruud

It’s Sunday which means regurgitated transfer news is once more vomited from the mouths of the media as we choke on yesterday’s food for thought. It's like Groundhog day with carrort chunks.

Apparently Harry is having a clear-out. No seriously, he is. Let’s disregard the fact that all clubs have clear-outs of varying magnitude from one season to the next or that Harry inherited a squad of players and that he is quite obviously not going to hold onto any deadwood because there’s no logical point to it as he wants to build a team of his own doing.

We’ve heard this gem about five times already since the end of the season. Along with the ones about Cisse, Santa Cruz and Gio. It’s almost like the journalists and editors of newspapers have some type of memory disorder, re-printing the same garbage week in and week out with complete impunity to criticism. And yet I can clearly see the irony of my good self once more shaking my fist vigorously towards them with blog article attack at the ready as I repeat my complaint.

The cycle can only be broken with an actual player signing for us.

Gio hasn’t impressed and doesn’t appear to have any future with us. Linking him away from the club is the most direct cause of action his agent can take but at least this time the rumours are being printed in Spain so we may see him escape back to La Liga. I'm sure he won't miss the English nightclubs.

Ruud van Nistleroy is being linked in a £1.25M bid. I think this one is brand spanking new (although we were linked a year or so back).

Another rumour that’s been knocking around for a few days relates to Paul Robinson returning to WHL.

Seriously, what next? A dead parrot?

Richard Dunne done the rounds back in January and I’m not alone in thinking this is would be a sideways signing.

But along with Ruud, you can see Harry doing some triffic bit of business with these two ‘experienced Premiership’ players, adding a bit of steel to the squad. Even though Ruud is likely to suffer from injury quirks and Dunne is no better than what we’ve got.

Ashley Young is a right-winger who players left-wing for Villa (I think he's naturally right-footed but please do correct me if I'm wrong) and a former target who we turned down the chance of signing first time round due to the excessive £7M (or whatever it was) fee. Back in again according to the red-tops for £8M + Bentley in the opposite direction. Chelsea the other interested club.

And did someone say Joe Cole?

I’m waiting for the Downing rumours to re-emerge (more so than they did last week with the story that Boro were finally willing to let him go) and conclude with an undisclosed fee to Spurs thanks to his broken bone.

Petrov and Babel are two former targets and tabloid favs of the transfer grapevine which will no doubt do the rounds (keep track and you’ll notice there’s a rota).

Young won’t join and I hope he doesn’t as I’m not convinced he’s half as good as people think he is. He’s decent but we can do better, unless we can’t, but even if we can’t he won’t come to us. He’ll want to step up to a Top 4 club. Which is ironic as he isn’t Top 4 quality. Which would then make him perfect for us.

And breathe.

Neither will Cole join – who I think was linked via the message boards. Not sure the press have picked up on this one quite yet. I doubt we’ll go anywhere near Santa Cruz (just not worth the transfer fee being quoted) and Cisse to Spurs is pure fantasy.

Robinson? Amazing journalism there. Someone got paid for that. They actually got paid sterling. No dis-respect to Robbo who was a personal fav of mine during his time at WHL, but he signed a long term contract at Spurs and then fluffed it along with the ball in practically every game. Shocking lack of management and loyalty saw him get worse and never better and eventually sold to Rovers. We then spend £9M on a replacement. Now, having him return while the replacement is sold on would quite simply be the most comical clusterf*ck ever. Let's be done with it and just re-sign Ian Walker.

Which then leaves us with Ruud. He has the pedigree but like I said, does have injury issues. He’s been out for ages at Madrid. But his form prior to that was ridiculously good. For £1.25M I’d snap him up. But then, how do I know this isn’t just another Sunday daydream from a monkey with a typewriter?

Once more, I turn to my precious bottle of twenty-three year old rum and search for the answer at the bottom of it.

All Quiet on the Tottenham Front

Frazier Campbell has returned to Utd and the lad is already being linked with a move to Hull. Sunderland are looking at Darren Bent and there’s this rumour from a ‘you know who deep throat nudge nudge wink wink’ who is sharing info that out £14M Russian forward has handed in a transfer request. No doubt the tabloids will pick up on this and run with an exclusive in 3...2...1...

I'm bored.

I don’t know whether it’s the sudden realisation that we were never quite as interested in Gareth Barry as we were led to believe, which ironically included me taking Redknapp's comments at face value and then pretending not to take notice of some of the red top headlines who had us competing with City for his signature. A touch of hypocrisy. I preach that people shouldn't listen to the hype, yet part of me did and wanted to believe it. Just a little part. No, not that part. I'm talking percentages in the commodity of belief. About 2% if you're interested. It was a weak moment and I must repent. Barry has also repented it would seem. Bless him.

Regardless of all this it didn't quite get the juicies flowing. Not in a 'BRAZILAIN WONDERKID DIEGO TO SPURS' kinda way (remember that transfer saga and Pleat's antics?)

Nothing has got the juicies flowing since the season ended. But then it has only just ended. I guess for once we're not quite at the forefront of the tabloid backpages, with City and Chelsea dominating for the moment.

I don't mind us going about our business on the quiet, but this is Levy and it's Redknapp and I doubt it's going to be all hush hush. But then it's not a bad thing if all we get is dis-information and then suddenly from left-field we sign a left-winger, with no leaks pre-contract shared online or in the press. Out of the blue is the way to work it.

But then, that's no fun.

Maybe the people who follow ITK gossip have it right. It’s like crack. It’s addictive as hell and will probably destroy you in no time if you keep on taking it in. But boy, what a rush.

Damn it, I'm conflicted.

Currently, there are plenty of names mentioned but nothing overly attractive flattering its eyelids at Levy and his cheque book.

Even Corluka is whoring targets, citing Srna and Krancjar as players Harry is apparently keen on. Some fans are jumping on player quotes (‘I am available for a club who wishes to have me’) and hoping, wishing Spurs take note. Carvalho anyone?

2+2=4? Nope not really. It's more Fibonacci sequence. Ain't got a sodding clue.

Elsewhere, there is still no indication whether Mansion is staying on as our sponsor or what the new kit looks like (other than that white training shirt with the yellow strips).

It’s the calm before the storm and along with every other Spurs fan, I’m suffering withdrawal symptoms after a season where almost every second was lived out like it was a 1000 days.

I guess I need to look elsewhere for an alternative non-transfer related football fix until something breaks out on the Sky Sports ticker.

Whether I end up lurking in message boards waiting for the very gossip I lambast most days or just go cold turkey remains to be seen.

For the moment, I rest easy in the trenches. With a bottle of rum.

the truth is not quite out there at the minute

If you believe the tabloids Harry is considering selling Modric and replacing him with Joe Cole. Richardson is an £8M target and for some reason Gareth Barry is mentioned as a possibility when in all probability he is more likely to go to Arsenal. And then there's the story in the Sunday Mirror about the Portsmouth takeover and the suggestion that the new owners want to bring in Redknapp for what would be his third reign at the club.

Shocking.

To make matters even worse, this is meant to be the new Spurs kit (sponsorless for the moment):

More rumourwhoring here including source for above

Shocking.

It’s Sunday. Still time for me to go to church and pray that the truth will out. And that it’s a little less ugly than it’s looking at the moment.

Carlito's Way is this way and that way

Here's one for you.

Back page, Spurs 'gutted' that their £18M move for Tevez (one that Carlos is liking) might well be dashed by Liverpool who are prepared to splash out £50M on the Argentine. Then a few pages into the Sports section, we are told that Rafa has a £30M war-chest for new players but has to sell in order to generate more funds.

Wonderful creativity from Kia Joorabchian.

Can someone please think of the children?

Cisse to Tottenham

Yesterday, I was sat in the corner of my room, slowly rocking backwards and forwards crying quietly at the news that Spurs were linked with Joey Barton. Emotional, psychologically and physically a complete meltdown of a mess. But enough about Barton. I was struggling to come to terms with this transfer news.

Having then recovered with an intense therapy session (watching the 1981 FA Cup final) I ventured out today, almost skipping the streets with the renewed optimism of a man that would rather dismiss any tabloid gossip and simply retain faith in the chairman and manager of the club to do the right thing.

Barton to Spurs? Never.

My day can not and will not be ruined.

That was true, until I found myself drowning in news feed articles relating to a one Djibril Cisse. I say one, because you'd be hard pressed to find two players of the same ilk.

What does Cisse do exactly? Apart from haircuts with colours and body art?

I could feel a panic attack coming on. Seconds later I relapsed.

Surely this is just another in a long line of PR stunts by a football agent to get his client some column space in preparation for the summer transfer market?

A glass of water and a ten minute meditation session (Arsenal 4 Spurs 4) had me back to a composed, logical state of mind.

I reviewed the story.

Conclusion?

Cisse threw a strop over a clash of egos with 'arch-rival' Kenwyne Jones. So Cisse decides to resort to childish playground games suggesting he is joining Spurs, to spite Jones who has been linked with us since the last transfer window.

If we wanted a player just like Cisse, then we may as well graffiti-spray Darren Bent from the neck down, dye his hair white, blindfold him and then tie his feet together with industrial strength tape.

He'd be three times more productive than the original. And on par with Robbie Keane.

Spurs to sign Beckham? That makes sense

Staggering piece of journalism in today’s Sun concerning Harry Redknapp and how we all shouldn’t be too surprised if he manages to resurrect David Beckham’s career form the dead by signing him in the summer. Because if you haven't yet noticed, Becks has slipped into obscurity in recent months.

The assumption made is that Becks needs football after the MLS season ends in October and I guess AC Milan won’t be an option. I say guess because you have to suspend probability to get a grasp of Ian McGarry’s Inside View. All this is based on the logic that LA Galaxy and Milan don't agree a transfer deal and that if Ancelotti leaves for Chelsea the new man at the helm might not want the England veteran. And thus, the Premier League is the only logical loan spell awaiting. That's all quite possible in theory, but none of it is actually referenced or argued.

There’s plenty of hot air about why it would benefit the player to wear Lilywhite and how it won’t harm his England chances and that Harry, a selfless creature, would rejuvenate Beckham who is currently a pale insignificant shadow of his former self playing for an amateur club in a low quality league. Ok, Milan aren’t that bad, and neither is Italian football but obviously playing for Spurs is a far more rewarding prospect according to Ian.

The 'Beckham wanted to be Glenn Hoddle when he was a kid' comment doesn't cut it with me either. This, the same Hoddle that humiliated Becks in England training?

The rest of the article is about the magic man-management of Redknapp and how he’s handled King infinitely better than Ramos ever did – which is something nobody could argue a case against.

Now if you’re still unsure McGarry is writing without substance and reason, other than a PR push for Harry, then the following will surely guarantee it:

“According to those who know him best, Redknapp would be the last to claim success is all about him, his ability or his personality. Speak to the players he coaches, though, and you discover that even if Harry denies being a Special One, he is certainly special. It’s just he doesn’t go shouting from the rooftops. Redknapp’s style is understated and is based on over 45 years’ experience in the game”

Harry would be the last to claim success? According to those who know him best? Who? Jamie Redknapp? I’m not going to dispute ‘arrys man management skills because they have taken us from the mire up to a UEFA Cup push. But to claim he is understated and that he doesn’t like standing in the limelight (which is what’s being suggested) is wonderfully ridiculous. Harry calls up Sky Sports News often with ‘from the horses mouth’ exclusives, ffs. He’s a media-whore, and he loves it. And everyone knows it.

Does Harry write for the Sun? Does Ian know Harry personally? Ian must be In The Know, as apparently he seems privy about a proposal that Levy is ‘seriously considering’ on forking out for the Beckham brand. What else is in this proposal? Does it cover whether Becks will be signed to play on the right replacing the younger, raw talent of Lennon? Or will he play in the middle, pushing Huddlestone further away from the pecking order? And haven’t we already got a beta-version of Becks in the reserves that needs a serious reboot?

I’ll shave off my beard and eat it if we signed David Beckham.

Back to Reality.......3 points at Blackburn please

I'm excited, are you excited? Premier League football is back and we don't have to wait as long as others thanks to Saturdays 12:45 kick-off. I'll be tucking into my breakfast around that time. Mug of tea in one hand and face stuffed with egg, bacon and toast. The good life. Andy Gray commentating would complete me.

I don't miss Blackburn away. Always found myself travelling up there by car, which as some of you may know is a hideously long journey. Especially for a 0-0. I'm a Sky Sports man tomorrow (it's part of the contract when selling your soul to the devil).

Palacios a main concern for the away trip, jet-lag being the likely reason if he's not present in the starting line-up. He played a part in Honduras 3-1 win over Mexico that saw the end of Sven. No team news just yet, so I can't confirm whether England International Darren Ashley Bent will be fit and available for selection.

Win this and any lingering concerns of relegation will be banished. I'll be shaking my booty in celebration. 41 points is safety territory. My hips don't lie. We can probably start to salivate at the possibility of a 7th spot finish. We've picked up points some cheeky points when not expected to do so. All I'm requesting from Harry and the players is to not lose any points where we are expected to pick them up. It's a test. One that needs passing.

Elsewhere, congratulations to Aaron Lennon for claiming the PFA player of the month award. Well deserved. Even if some of the lazy journalists who prioritise completing a match report in time for a deadline and base their analysis on generalisations and sound bites (rather than actually watching the game) don't quite rate his rate of improvement. At international level at least. I read one or two references to 'end-product' or lack of. Really? Sure, he has a habit of fizzing the ball when on occasions cutting back and playing it 'inside' would be preferable. But the boy done good against the Ukraine. When his team-mates decided to give him the ball. Criticism was best left for the ones who deserved it. Johnson and Cole come to mind.

Be afraid...be very afraid

Don't usually talk about other clubs, but everyone has an opinion on Newcastle United. Bit of a gutless move this by Shearer. An exercise in inflating ones ego. If Newcastle stay up, he'll be a hero and might well walk away from it (he's claiming he is there for 8 games only) as the inspired legend of the club saving them from the hellmouth of Championship football. If they do go down it wont be because of him. He'll have done his best and at least galvanised the crowd in the short term.

The Newcastle board should have appointed someone far earlier or Shearer should have stepped up after JK went into hospital. Or would that have meant far too many games for Shearer and the possibility of actually being responsible if his team were relegated?

Imagine Shearer on MotD next season having 'saved' Newcastle from the drop? The smugness will be unbearable. He'll be able to give us insight on other managers experiencing problems at their clubs, because 'he's been in the dressing room from the perspective of first team coach'.

That's why our priority this season should simply be this: Thrash Newcastle United at the Lane and save our Match of the Day as a consequence.

Ledley will always be our King

I'm a bit bored at the moment. There's a slight lull in stories worthy of commentary. Other than maybe the news that Ledley King could play in the remaining 10 fixtures for Spurs. According to our oracle of football, Harry Redknapp. This following on from the recent lack of contract talks that won't be taking place just yet between club and player.

King (with Spurs no longer having midweek games to concern themselves with) can now look forward to Ledders being available once per week with plenty of recovery time in-between. As long as the old knee doesn't give way. Is he prolonging the inevitable? Is he sustaining long term permanent damage to his knees every time he plays for us? How long will he persist with this? Equally important to ask whether Spurs will have to make a decision on King's future based on his availability. You can't build a defence around a part-time player. But when the player is this good, do you allow for a concession? Heart says yes. So does the head, but more so the heart.

As for the potential of a new contract, that really depends on whether this is it for the rest of his career. This being 'play when injected with magic' but only half the time and never twice in a week. It's sad. A fully fit Ledley King would be a fully fledged England international. And probably a Man Utd player. But theres no doubt he'd be a defender at the top of his game with countless clubs courting him - in a world with no knee trouble. He's still capable of exceptional performances for us - but still in a part-time capacity. Which is why we are probably not reading a Daniel Levy club announcement justifying a £25M transfer of King to Old Trafford.

What we have instead is a loyal committed servant who gets wrapped up in cotton wool more often than running out in Lilywhite. As long as he is not aggravating his knee problems with the injections and continuing to play professional football then I'm happy to have him at the club and the club should make sure he remains there till he hangs his boots up. I hope there is not a single ounce of truth that doctors advised him to quit or risk serious damage.

Also, I'm not suggesting Ledley is still with us only because of his injury plight. The bloke is no Sol Campbell. Ledley is honest and loves the club. He wants to be at White Hart Lane and in the past possibly could have flirted with a Champions League club if he wanted to. But if he was 110%, he'd be tested, along with the chairman. That's a sure thing. But he'd never walk the way Judas did. Personally hope he does start the big big away games we have at Villa, Everton, Man Utd and Liverpool. Dawson is a fine understudy to have on current form. I'm still staggered by the fact that King never trains.

Elsewhere, there was a perfect example of printed bullshit in the Sunday papers that had David Bentley linked with a move to Aston Villa. He would 'relish the move' apparently. No actual quote or suggestion that any part of the article was based on fact or actual player/club opinion. The usual standard of reporting from the weekend tabloids.

Bentley has been nothing short of disastrous since signing for us. No form at all. Not even 5% of what he showed at Blackburn. He has struggled monumentally to fit in and perform consistently. Yes, he is over-rated. He isn't the next David Beckham. He obviously believes he is far better than he is and therefore attempts to play like he's word class from distorted memories and what he thinks people expect to see of a superstar rather than just play a simple and productive game. Such is the power of confidence (and the decimation of it) that he can't even achieve the basics that came easy to him prior to his move.

As much maligned as he is and regardless of whether he is or isn't worth £15M or so, he does have ability and he can do a job for us. Personal problems aside, he has to stop feeling sorry for himself. The groans and frustrations from home fans will be replaced with cheers and applause the moment he gets stuck in and doesn't try so damn hard to be something he is not.

Bentley is a good player. Not a great one. It's not lost on us that he 'loves the club' (he does, he said so) and wants to be successful at Spurs. He seems genuine enough, but it's inconsequential to what's produced on the pitch if his head is in the clouds. If he wants to succeed he has to believe it.

One bright thing the arrival of Bentley has achieved is the resurgence of Lennon's form. Having both players on top form would mean competitiveness within the squad, inspiring players to excel. Something we've lacked in abundance so often in the past. Not that Aaron needs to look over his shoulders at the moment.

Respect Sol Campbell? Thanks, but no thanks

I said I would not refer back to this, but it seems that Sol Campbell and his chums in the media won't let go, so here we are again. It's a reflex of mine to react like this even when I know in my heart of hearts that my time is better spent drinking from a bottle of rum and grooming my Ricky Villa beard. But the tabloids are at it again.

The Daily Mirror yesterday run a story entitled 'Why Tottenham Fans should respect Sol Campbell as a true servant to football'.

The story initially concentrates on promoting a campaign he has set up (Kids Go Live) which aims to get children aged from seven to eleven to experience more live sport (football, hockey, horse riding - are examples listed). Its a campaign which has government backing and is personally funded by the player. Good luck to him.

But rather than just concentrate on the campaign itself, the author of the piece (John Cross) can't quite decide what the article should focus on. He starts digging his hole with some rather oh so obvious Solesque friendly statements which turn the article into yet another pro-Campbell is Great propaganda piece that paints the player as a humble, quiet man who is the paradox of modern day PR obsessed footballers. Bit like Paul Scholes. Although he's ginger and therefore not newsworthy.

The irony is of course laughable. Campbell and his PR machine are masters of the subtle touch.

The piece includes some info about what he likes (photography) and his love of films and market stalls and a couple of iconic name drops (Spike Lee and Denzel Washington). All wishy washy soundbites that contain not an iota of insight. It's like reading a textbook profile from a online dating website. But it serves its purpose in promoting Campbell.

He still harbours a desire to play abroad and live a different culture and venture into management after he's retired from kicking a ball about. Apparently this makes him 'a bit different' because he isn't falling out of a club smashed out of his head. He is then compared with Graeme Le Saux and that players who don't have a WAG and a Bentley are singled out for abuse by fans.

I work with a couple of pretentious people who read broadsheets. They get singled out (I just did it by calling them pretentious), in the same way they single out The Sun readers in the office. Welcome to Planet Earth and the bullyboy culture. Maybe Le Saux was singled out because he was a git regardless of his reading material?

Football might be this big bad brash heterosexual its a mans man game, but we all know different. It's not the 70's and 80's anymore. We just conform to a stereotype and just about get away with it. It's easier to box things up in black and white (excuse the terrible pun). Football stands are not quite an intellectual forum of discussion and discourse, are they? Even if they do manage to birth some splendid moments of comic genius in the way of non-offensive chants and banners. I guess that stereotype for many of us is acting the caveman when in fact we all take a cheeky look at a broadsheet from time to time.

Of course, there is still an element that is stuck in the past and take themselves far too seriously, with no grasp of what is right and wrong.

The article obviously does the unsurprising thing of dragging back the 'racist and homophobic' story that caused such a stir in the aftermath of the chanting that took place at the Pompey v Spurs game that led to several mug shots of Spurs fans appearing on the Most Wanted list.

Which is the reason for my reflex and this blog article.

This (the racist and homophobic chanting), according to Cross, is punishment for leaving Spurs on a Bosman. We are then given some trivia about his England career and that just because Campbell isn't spotted with a Page 3 bird doesn't mean he should be subjected to mindless chanting.

'Family man' Campbell should not be singled out for this type of abuse. And I agree. But lets not lose sight of the facts. A minority sang those chants. The majority don't include racism and homophobic chanting when telling Campbell what they think of him.

The article then mentions one or two other high profile players as examples of professionals who are also subjected to similar chants. Not that you will ever hear any of the players complain about it in casual newspaper articles or proceed to bang on about it for years and years. Cross highlights an example of an Arsenal fan calling a Fulham player a 'f**king poof'', yet the article still manages to end with a reference to Tottenham fans. But then the whole article is an exercise in the Campbell is good, Spurs fans are bad agenda.

You can read the piece in it's entirety here and make your own mind up. Cross ends it with the following: "Boo him, hate him, whatever. But don't abuse him".

Ok. Thanks for the permission and clarification. Can I quote you next time Spurs play Pompey? Try taking the average football supporter aside and define what constitutes the difference in hate and abuse when being actively vocal at a football match.

I don't condone racism or homophonic chanting. The Lunacy song that caused so much unwanted publicity was distasteful, but a court of law did not deem it either racist or homophonic. Possibly because its so ambiguous and impossible to prove one way or another. The Spurs fans arrested and charged were done so (in the end) for singing more simple and crude chants. The type that police and stewards and players and the media have not deemed newsworthy in the past. Although if the intent is of a certain over the top and vindictive nature, then you deserve to get done. Whether they would have got done if the player had not made an official complaint is altogether another thing.

Not suggesting by the way that the Lunacy song is now ok to sing. It isn't. Spurs and the police act on it if they witness anyone stupid enough to burst into song. But the song is not what its made out to be by Campbell and some quarters of the media. I'm referring to the insulting and ridiculous suggestion that Spurs fans are aware of racist connotations relating to having black people from trees in 'racist America' a number of years ago. And that we are singling out the player because he is black and that's the reason we hate him.

<--- Insert tumbleweed here --->

Bullshit. Regardless, a way for us to avoid these accusations being made in the first place is to not sing the song full stop. Hum it. Don't sing it.

As a simple note to Cross and Campbell, even though I think Spurs fans should move on and forget about him, the majority won't because they know that the booing and hatred still gets to Campbell on the pitch and affects his game. And for that reason, it's justified to boo and scream non-racist and non-homophobic chants in his direction.

The Pièce de résistance however is when Cross calls him a footballer with a conscience. Comedy gold right there from our Mirror journo.

All I see is a former Spurs youth player and first team captain, Mr Tottenham Hotspur (that's the name he gave himself) who couldn't keep his mouth shut about wanting to stay at the club and wanting to sign a new contract because he loved the club so much. A player who loved the club so much he left on a free transfer screwing us out of millions and then walked up the Seven Sisters and joined Arsenal, picking up a nice signing on bonus and then genuinely expecting Spurs fans to forgive and forget.

Do I sound bitter? Maybe I do. But I'm just sticking to the timeline and facts. Campbell would have still been hated if he had joined Arsenal but not as bad had he left like Carrick did for a massive fee and without the lies and deception that came before his departure. I say 'not as bad' but you know what I mean.

There is no integrity to be found in his soul, and it doesn't matter how many times he attempts to prove otherwise via the tabloids.

Remember his first return to WHL after he joined Arsenal? Remember the level of noise aimed at him every time he went near the ball? No homophobia or racism. Just 30,000 or so Spurs fans screaming hatred. It rattled him. However his response post-match was to call Spurs fans racist and thus that was the sole reason why he was being booed.

"What did I do?" has been the look on his face since his move away from N17. He honestly believes he has done nothing wrong.

As for Spurs fans being racist? No wonder Ledley King hardly ever plays for us. And that Lennon, we hate him too, lucky he can run so fast. And as for Jenas, it's not because he's so bloody inconsistent that we scream out expletives when he loses the ball or misplaces a pass - its because of the colour of his skin. Exfoliate damn it Jermaine, exfoliate!

<--- insert family of tumbleweed here --->

Do one Campbell. You too Cross.

Campbell is an absolute melter of the highest order and as much as Spurs fans bring it on themselves for living in the past and singing songs about him, he needs to stand tall and look the other way and just ignore it instead of constantly attempting to justify why we are the guilty ones.

Sticks and stones.

I should probably follow my own advice and look the other way too next time a red top runs a similar non-event article.

Why should Tottenham Fans respect Sol Campbell as a true servant to football? Don't ask the Daily Mirror. They don't quite have the answer.

Time to terminate Darren Bent

Yesterday I read some quotes from Darren Bent about how Harry should play his strongest side possible in the UEFA Cup and that the benefit to the team would be to aim to carry the (hopefully) winning momentum into the next league game. That’s all well and good Dazza, but we've already had plenty of opportunity to carry forward the momentum in important league games and have got nowhere, so there’s no logic to the suggestion, based on the inconsistency of our players and their failure to put a decent run together. We never win when we should be forcing the issue.

Bent has been very vocal in the past week or so and according to Setanta Sports is back at it again today in what looks like a reprise of his comments from last week:

“I’ve got a point to prove in that I want to show the gaffer what I can do and I want to be starting games. At the same time, I don’t think I’ve got anything to prove because I’ve scored goals this season. If I hadn’t done then I would – but I’m the top goal scorer at this football club so I feel like I can just go out there and relax. I don’t feel the pressure at all, I just go out there and enjoy it” - Darren Bent (allegedly)

For the time being I’m going to assume this is a direct quote from the mouth of Darren Bent and not a representative or an overly creative and bored journalist mish-mashing a mis-quote alphabet soup together. Until the player states he has been misquoted I’m going to assume the above quote is word-for-word what Darren believes and stated.

So, let’s break down his statement of intent.

Dazza has a point to prove to the gaffer, but hold onto ya hats, no he doesn’t because he’s scored a few goals this season and if he hadn’t he would have a point to prove which is what he said in the first place regardless of scoring those goals but he’s top goal scorer at Spurs so he can contradict himself as many times as he wishes.

That’s set that straight then.

And because he’s top 'club' goal scorer (worth mentioning again) he can take the field of play and relax. That’s right, Dazza feels no pressure at all. Because he has nothing to prove. It’s all just a walk in the park for the £15M poacher. He can take the field and chill out because that's just the type of player he is.

WALOB.

Firstly someone needs to take him aside and explain to him that we are in a relegation scrap. Secondly, he needs to watch extended highlights of his apologetic on the field mannerisms and rabbit in the headlights stature, all teary eyed and scared as glances motionless in the box holding onto his comfort blanket waiting for a ball to hit his shin and go in.

So you go out there and enjoy it do you Darren? Enjoy what exactly? The ambience of the stadium? The weather? Bit of fresh air and half time cup of tea? The melodic chants of the Park Lane? You’re not meant to enjoy it. There is nothing enjoyable about our dismal form and lack of consistent cutting edge as a team from one game to the next (consolation goals do not count). Not that you are to blame for it, but as an individual, you're not impressing anyone.

We are the ones who are meant to be enjoying it and when you see us doing so you can then take a slice of satisfaction from it. I don’t believe for a second that you’re half as confident as you’re making out to be, mouthing off to the press every other day. So unless you are pulling some kind of Joaquin Phoenix method acting publicity stunt and you're not really a complete messy paradox of a player you need to be doing more on the the pitch and less of the talking off it to prove your worth.

I don’t care about your goal ratio. I don't care that you are the top scorer at Spurs. It's not enough to think that minimal effort is satisfactory because minimal effort equates to 14 goals. I want to see more effort and more willingness. I want to see you develop your game. I want to see you adapt to the formation and tactics of the team. I want to see you score more goals.

But no. That's too much for you isn't it? We don't ever see any of that extra effort. All I ever see from you is ah-da-da-dah like this in the background holding your head missing a sitter. What the f*ck is it with you? What don’t you understand? You got any f*cking idea? It’s f*cking counter-productive having somebody that does nothing in front of the midfield during a game? Give me a f*cking answer! What don’t you get about your lack of effort?

Ohhhhhh, gooooood for you, you scored a couple of goals up at Bolton. I hope it was f*cking good, because it’s useless now, isn’t it?

F*cks sake man, you’re amateur. Harry, you got f*cking something to say to this dud other than comparing him to your wife? No? Well somebody should be f*cking watching and keeping an eye on him.

He doesn’t give a f*ck about what is going on around him. I’m trying to support the team here and I am going “What the f*ck does Darren Bent do exactly? What is he doing here?” Do you understand my mind is not on the game when you're out on the pitch?

Stay the f*ck away from the media. For f*cks sake.

You are trashing my club.

You mouth off one more f*cking time and I ain't going back to the Spurs Shop and spending money on merchandise if you're still playing shit. I'm f*cking serious. You're a nice guy. You're a nice guy, but that don't f*cking cut it when you're f*cking around like this on the pitch and doing nothing much and then giving it the big billy bollocks in the press.

Seriously, you and me, we’re f*cking down, professionally.

Let There Be Love

And there I was thinking it’s been a slow week for news.

Noel Gallagher has launched an amazing rant against Tottenham Hotspur (amazing and rant are not my words, but the words the press are going with. I'd prefer to describe the rant as acquiesce):

"I've told him (his son) he can support his local team down here if that's what he wants - but he can't support Man Utd or Tottenham. I have an irrational loathing of Spurs, their fans and everything about that club"

Really? Do you? You and half the country you absolute melter.

So you've banned your 17 month old son from ever following the club? Cognisant already at such a young age? What a perceptive young lad you’ve got there. How about giving our kid a crayon and some paper and get him to pen the next Oasis album. Just get him to rhyme as many words as possible with shine and you can’t go wrong.

If any cockney Darth Vaders out there want to bring their Oasis LP's and CD's to the next Tottenham home game please do. Martin Chivers will be burning them in the centre circle.

Tim Sherwood? Does anyone care?

Robbie Keane has been back five minutes and he’s already made an impact. Such is the lack of leadership in our squad (and with Ledley King never fit) Harry has opted to make our returning son club captain. No doubt he will point, look up at the sky, wave his arms, shake his fist and shout at everything and anything including the slackers in the side. Whether any of them bother looking up to take note of our Robbie is altogether another thing. Because, you know. The players don’t care, right? What, you haven't heard? Have you not caught up on your weekly reminder about the lack of caring thing? Slacker. Get that Daily Mail delivered to your home, damn it!

It concerns me that we have to listen to people employed by the club, slag the club off. We have Tottenham forums and the tabloid columnists for that sort of lark. Even if the club deserves to be slagged off or be criticised, we do not need to have the main focus of sound-bites coming from manager and coaching staff (yes, I know…..Harry loves to talk, the irony burns).

I’ve never liked Tim Sherwood, and still don’t have much time for him. I’m not sure I understand the logic behind his employment as a part-time coach with us. How anyone can be part-time in football is beyond me considering it’s not exactly the most challenging profession with regards to hours spent in a working day compared to people who stand on their feet for 8 hours or sit in a office staring at a screen falling into a coma.

Whatever it is Sherwood does at the club as a coach is obviously not working, so I almost ignored reading his latest rant. I sucked in the vomit and went ahead with it anyway. What he says is common knowledge to anyone who watches Spurs. Players don’t care enough. You can’t disagree with it. We can see it for ourselves week to week. He cites that we are capable of defeating Arsenal on our day but fail to grind out results when it’s equally important (but not as glamorous as a NLD). Says the reason we looked at Craig Bellamy was because of his attitude towards winning. Keane does have a similar work ethic. So it does make sense to make him captain when our other choice is Jenas (Woodgate would have been my preference).

Finding myself in agreement with his viewpoint (even though its one shared by anyone following Spurs) still makes me ashamed considering he has spent the past few years slating us at every opportunity on TalkSport radio (he’s neither knowledgeable or insightful….so perfect match). Very bitter man. And I'm still not sure what he has to offer us exactly. If anyone knows what he does at Spurs, please let me know. The bloke has no experience as a coach, was not a great midfielder (should our players be inspired by his presence?) and is unprofessional (talks to the press far too much).

So, to reiterate, it's now a common occurrence to slag off our players and highlight their faults, week in week out, publicly. And it's not working as the results are not changing and the players are still not giving it 110%. All it serves is to pass the blame so everyone is in no doubt who should be blamed (at least from the perspective of the one doing the passing).

So how about working all this out behind closed doors rather than giving the red tops more headlines? Its tiresome stuff to see the same complaints repeated over and over again and yet no progress made. The reason we have managers and coaches is to man-manage and coach.

I expect Tim will be happy regardless. If Tottenham sink, he’ll go back to radio full-time and possibly publish his memoirs on the Titanic travesty Tottenham was in season 2009.

Spurs: The Reason they got Relegated by Tim Sherwood

Future bestseller on Green Street that.

Talking of travesty….Darren Bent. No, I’m joking. Look at his record.

It’s something like 14 goals in 30 games from 18 starts. He scored 8 goals last year as a sub. I might be one or two goals off (as I’m attempting to recall from memory) but still, that’s not too shabby, is it? On paper at least. So why is he much maligned? Well, personally, he doesn’t seem to play well when paired up front with another forward and he can go long periods (several games) without doing much in-game in the way of any thing productive on the eye. In a recent match he must of touched the ball 5 times in 45 minutes.

Which is why we tend to remember his misses more so than his performance and application. In a course of a game, he simply doesn’t seem to be involved us much as a Defoe or Keane or Pav. His Bolton cameo was a good one. Do that every week and we’ll go back to rating him much like we did earlier in the season. Fickle bunch we are. If things don’t work out, we can always flog him to Sunderland come the summer. Best moment of the window came after it actually closed from Ricky Sbragia who ‘tapped up’ Bent (yes, he did, according to Sbragia himself who accused Harry of the exact same thing in relation to us being linked with Jones) when he stated ‘we are interested’.

Er, Ricky…..if you’re gonna tap up a player you need to make sure you time it so that you actually stand a chance of signing the player within the window. Doesn’t actually have much of an affect after it.