Triffic Spurs Round-up

Good weekend? Just a week away now, and it all kicks off again. Another season of Tottenham. How many times will Harry say 'Triffic'? Will we tally up more than two points from the opening eight games? With all the hype on Man City and with people expecting Villa and Everton to continue their good form from last season, can we quietly sustain a challenge for a top 6 place without the usual over-hyped nonsense that drowns us by Christmas? Exciting times.

Before we look forward, here's a round-up of the latest bits and pieces:


Gareth Bale

So basically, AC Milan are interested in signing our jinxed left-back. His agent appears to be the only one doing the talking because I've seen nothing to suggest the player wants a move and I've yet to see a single quote from anyone involved with the Milan giants concerning a bid for our monkey-faced star. Just his agent, spouting out contradictory rubbish. On the one hand he states that no transfer has been talked about and then goes on to say that the figures circulating are correct. Right, so basically, nobody is or has discussed a transfer which means the figures being referred to are either the ones in his head or the ones that tabloids have estimated when covering this complete non-event of a story. Isn't Bale currently recovering from an op? Next.

Ashley Young

We are no longer interested in signing Young, so says Harry, who has given up because Villa simply won't sell and he'll cost a fair amount of wedge. Two good reasons I guess. Still, I can never quite trust our gaffer because it always seems like he's playing mind games, and not the subtle type either. The very fact he said what he said might be his way of deflecting attention back onto a possible transfer by suggesting it won't happen when his intentions is to try and force it back out into the open. Especially if you are inclined to believe Young wants to return to London.

Do we need a left-winger? I reckon it would be nice to have one and be able to mix it up a little with Modric pairing up with Palacios in the middle. Give us options and allows us to be a little less predictable depending on the opposition and how we plan to line-up offensively. £21M is apparently the price fee. Inexplicably, Real Madrid would part with Wesley Sneijder for a measly £16M.

Something…wrong…can't…work…it…out.

I guess if the £21M is a genuine estimation Villa have tagged Young with, its only because they think (hope) City would pay it. Sneijder has been linked with Villa, which has me scratching my head that if all of this was true, shouldn't we be the ones linked with the Dutch star? And how the English winger can be valued higher than the brilliant Wesley, leaves me dizzy with confusion. Back to reality, I doubt he'd ever consider a non-Champions League club. Such is modern day football.

Moussa Sissoko

Believe the hype or not to believe the hype? This kid is meant to be pretty bloody good. A player in the mould of Desailly, according to some. Strong, decent tackle (ooh) and has the type of drive and determination that would suit us perfectly - because we need players who lead by example. His passing isn't quite there yet, but he's young and he'll improve. Now, I've not seen that much of him and like most fans, when it comes to being linked with a player outside the Prem or in a league that you don't follow on a regular occurrence, you have to rely on others to give you the low-down. We tend to fall in love with some players when having little knowledge about them and then start to believe we need them more than the air we breathe and then feel completely empty if they don't sign (anyone remember the dramatics of the Diego transfer saga and the ITK's obsession with Dirk Kuyt?).

I'd like us to sign Sissoko because if Palacios is out injured or suspended, we can do with a player of almost equal standing (sorry Jamie). An understudy who can also give us extra steel in midfield. The main gripe, if you want to have a gripe, is that the above description of Sissoko is not too dis-similar to one you would use to describe General Wilson. So is he really the type of player we need as an answer to the 'we need one more CM to complete our squad depth' conundrum? Or should we be looking at his more Carrickesque team-mate Etienne Capoure? Looking at our current set of players, I'd say Sissoko is the better option, simply because he is similar to Palacios. Harry fancies Tommy Huddlestone and our quarterback looks like he will be getting a chance to prove his worth to the side - as an offensive CM. Along with the returning Kevin Prince Boateng who has a second chance to impress. And although I tend to believe that all the Patrick Vieira stories spouted by our manager are nothing more than distractions and disinformation, I do believe Harry wants to bring in a CM. Just as much as a LW. But from the looks of it, we'll only be getting one or the other.

Although considering Bentley and his latest tunnel sulk, there might be time to go back and test Martin O'Neill with a cheeky swap deal.

Olympiakos Friendly

No reason to read too much into this, much like any other pre-season friendly, other than to probably say our players look fit and sharp (and hopefully in mind as well as body) and the Greeks looked rather poor. All eyes on Bassong, who did well and will no doubt grow in stature when partnered alongside King of Woodgate. Heavy touch on occasion and a moment or two of stalling on the ball that could well be costly, but reading too much into his performance would be a knee-jerk too far. Bentley disappearing down the tunnel the other talking point. More on that in a moment.

No Woody, Daws, Bale or Jenas available for the game on Sunday. All out injured. Palacios and Hutton were both away on international duty. Hopefully Luka going off (with a foot knock) was more precautionary than anything.

Defoe looks to be up for it and impressively, so does Pav who displayed some neat touches and finished with confidence for his goal. All smiles on the Russians face, let's hope he takes the swagger into the season proper and proves the doubters wrong. Moddle and Lennon are obviously key to our attack, providing the type of swashbuckling that we love to see dazzle in Lilywhite.

Huddlestone was a little on the quiet side and Crouch was at the end of far too much of the route one. When Harry said he gives us another options, I hope this isn't the only other option. KPB looks to be back in with first team contention. Or maybe it was option rather than options, which might prove to be an issue months from now (fingers crossed it isn't). Keane, the kid Danny Rose and O'Hara were all OK, nothing special.

King was the King in his 45 mins cameo appearance and should be fit for 90 minutes against Liverpool, but a no-show in the following game against Hull in mid-week.

The one blip was David Bentley who looks to now be the quintessential outcast. The jigsaw piece that doesn't quite fit, presumably because it belongs to another set. It's a shame that most think he's over-rated and is a victim of his own ego, thanks to all the 'Next Beckham' hype that followed him from Blackburn to Spurs. The main problem (much like the Darren Bent) is - where does he actually fit into the Spurs team? Not the right-wing, because that belongs to Lennon. So can he play in CM? Doubtful as I don't think he has the combative skills to survive there and as he constantly attempts to do too much, he'll probably be steamrolled by any half-decent opposition. Behind the front two? Possibly, but it's not his natural position is it?

I don't mind Bentley and regardless of whatever personal issues he had last season, the fact is he has to start showing some grit and determination when selected for Spurs. One thing lacking is confidence. Still lacking. Which is frustrating for the player (hence the substitution and moody response to it) and frustrating for the fans. Because of expectations, it's easy to be fickle. But let's try not to be. It's unlikely he'll be sold on (unless something last minute involving Young occurs) so Bentley needs to dig deep and sort out his crossing and set-pieces and show some of the Becks spirit of never say die, rather than apologetically go out on whimper. I want him to succeed and I want him to do so at Spurs. But it's a paradox, because his best chance of doing so would be with him patrolling the right-wing. Lickle Aaron probably won't let him come anywhere near it.

Loans

Livermore has gone to Derby (which was expected after he posted about it on his Facebook). Talking of which, the club have apparently asked all the player to disclose all the online social networks they frequent and that a representative at Spurs has access to all accounts to make sure that nothing embarrassing (club related) is shared in the public domain. Bit of ITK I got over the weekend, but not sure how true this is and the fact that Woody's Twitter account disappeared soon after the Bent farce I get the impression Spurs have actually gone for a more zero tolerant attitude.

Newcastle are meant to be in discussions with us over a couple of loan deals for 'our kids'. dos Santos? Dervitte? Rose? Obika? Naughton? Hopefully it's not the latter because he looks good enough to mix it up in the top-flight. The rest can do with a loan spell and dos Santos (with his apparent disciplinary issue) can do with proving everyone wrong and save himself from a permanent transfer or sealing one. With Livermore gone, I'm hoping Bostock isn't a player we are looking at loaning out. Kid's got talent and he should be slowly introduced to first team action, in the Prem. With Adel already out at QPR, we need to have a least one 'kid with talent' eyeing the first eleven.

Rejoice, rejoice...the bullet has been dodged

Downing is joining Villa for £12M. You can't see me but I'm currently tap-dancing on my desk and typing this by way of a wireless keyboard. I'm getting a funny look from Watkins in accounts, but I don't care.

£12M is a lot of money for a player who is far from exciting and hardly overly exceptional at one particular thing. And we've over-spent far too many times in the past to have our fingers burnt again. Yes, he is a committed professional who offers a bit of width, more than decent passing ability and has a wealth of Premier League experience. I guess he's a consistent performer lacking the sexy gene. He'll do the job you ask of him, which is the reason why Martin O'Neill has parted with the money he has.

So am I right to dance on the table and wave my elephant at straight-laced Watkins?

David Bentley was a quintessential big money hyped signing, one that we complete very often and with relative ease. Player of the moment becomes a player at Spurs. Downing has been the perpetual solution to our left-side problem for an absolute age. We've gone in there several times with bids, even been accused of tapping up the player. We've shown interest time and time again, if you believe what you read - and in this case, it's believable. Now Downing might not be box office but he's much hyped, which polarises opinions as some can't see what it is he has that warrants all the interest.

Simple fact of the matter, when it came down to it we didn't place a bid. Boro, relegated. Boro, willing to listen to offers. Boro, giving the green light to Spurs. And we chose to turn our heads, possibly looking towards Aston Villa for the brand new solution. Which ironically is where Downing will end up.

As much maligned as he is, he will do a good honest job for MoN - and he might have done a reasonable job for us.

I'm sat back down now. Apparently I have a surprise HR meeting momentarily, so let me wrap this up as quickly as possible. Downing would have given us something we haven't had since Ginola. A left-winger, be it not one of the swashbuckling ilk that we do love down at the Lane. But still. An out-and-out left sided crosser of the ball.

We didn't go for him, which means one of the following:

1) We have another left-wing target. Whether its Young and whether Villa are going to let Ashley go considering that Downing is out injured until October (I think, feel free to correct me) is possibly unlikely. Also, the assumption is being made that just because they now have two left-wingers its one too many. Remind yourself of Villa's collapse last term. With two strong wingers for the left-hand side and Milner covering the right - O'Neill has depth in squad. The counter-argument is that having two England internationals fighting for one place in the lead up to a World Cup isn't great for either player.

If it's not Young we want, I have no idea what the other left-sided option is. Which might mean...

2) Luka Modric will remain on the left-hand side, drifting in and orchestrating play to his liking as he dinks into centre-mid just behind the forwards. I know there is a call to play him in the middle alongside General Wilson. I'll like him there too. But this particular conundrum will remain unknown until we make a signing that relates to the left-side or central midfield. Until a significant signing is made, we will be left in the dark. Ooh pun.

3) There's always Gareth Bale for the left-wing. Jinx and confidence/injury issues aside - once he has recovered from his operation, he has to be re-introduced into first team duties with gentle handling. The kid has talent and bags of potential. That's no sound-bite. He has the qualities to do well for us and deserves our support in way of development. The reason we almost ruined him is thanks largely to throwing him into a crap side with zero self-respect, leading to the infamous 2 points 8 games debacle. Fact that Bale is also out for a while does have me questioning this option, because it would mean that Moddle remains on the left-hand side.


It's all a bit confusing now. For this to happen that has to go there and this has to move here and he has to do that and blah blah blah.

I guess, in conclusion (my boss just had words with security who are now walking towards me with menace) we haven't gone ahead and done something that everyone would have expected us to do. Which to me is bucking the trend. No need to rush in. We are aiming to sign a player we want and want 100% and not a % less.

It's all about what style and tactic Harry has in mind, and the club should aim to have the right players for the start of the season based on his strategic ethos.

Harry does have one, right?

I'll take a punt and say: Spurs bid for Young - will be a headline in the next 5 days.

One last comment. Watkins is a jobsworth.

A short guide to understanding Tottenham in the transfer market

#23 Ashley Young


Spurs: We like the look of your boy Ashley.
Watford: You can have him for £1M.
Spurs: Hmm. Ok, well you know what. We like him, we do, but £1M for a kid who hasn't proven himself in top flight football? Listen, thanks, but no thanks.
Watford: You're declining?
Spurs: Yes, yeah…we'll be looking elsewhere. Just don't think he's worth that much.

-

Watford: Hello again.
Spurs: Hi. Your boy Ashley has progressed rather well.
Watford: Fancy him more do you now?
Spurs: Might do, might do.
Watford: Thinking of making a bid?
Spurs: Yes, perhaps.
Watford: How does £9M sound to you?
Spurs: Sorry...What? (laughing out loud)
Watford: £9M. He has proven talent.
Spurs: Yes, but Christ, really? £9M? That’s extortionate. I mean, come on, £9M? Nine million big ones?
Watford: You're not interested again, are you?
Spurs: Just don't think he's worth that much.

-

Villa: How can we help?
Spurs: Ashley Young. We want him.
Villa: Ok. We value Ashley at a price of £... (interrupted)
Spurs: £20M
Villa: Sorry?
Spurs: We want to pay £20M for the player.
Villa: Oh, ok, well I suppose...
Spurs: Credit card or cheque?
Villa: Well we've not had time to...
Spurs: Look, if you want something more than just money we can throw in Bentley and Huddlestone.
Villa: Didn't Bentley cost you £15M?
Spurs: And? Just take your pick. Bentley or Huddlestone. Or take both of them.
Villa: Can we think about it first?
Spurs: Great, no problem. Give me a call with one hour remaining in the summer transfer window and we’ll go about thrashing out a deal.

The End.

Tabloid exclusive: 'Germany invades Poland' - How Ruud

It’s Sunday which means regurgitated transfer news is once more vomited from the mouths of the media as we choke on yesterday’s food for thought. It's like Groundhog day with carrort chunks.

Apparently Harry is having a clear-out. No seriously, he is. Let’s disregard the fact that all clubs have clear-outs of varying magnitude from one season to the next or that Harry inherited a squad of players and that he is quite obviously not going to hold onto any deadwood because there’s no logical point to it as he wants to build a team of his own doing.

We’ve heard this gem about five times already since the end of the season. Along with the ones about Cisse, Santa Cruz and Gio. It’s almost like the journalists and editors of newspapers have some type of memory disorder, re-printing the same garbage week in and week out with complete impunity to criticism. And yet I can clearly see the irony of my good self once more shaking my fist vigorously towards them with blog article attack at the ready as I repeat my complaint.

The cycle can only be broken with an actual player signing for us.

Gio hasn’t impressed and doesn’t appear to have any future with us. Linking him away from the club is the most direct cause of action his agent can take but at least this time the rumours are being printed in Spain so we may see him escape back to La Liga. I'm sure he won't miss the English nightclubs.

Ruud van Nistleroy is being linked in a £1.25M bid. I think this one is brand spanking new (although we were linked a year or so back).

Another rumour that’s been knocking around for a few days relates to Paul Robinson returning to WHL.

Seriously, what next? A dead parrot?

Richard Dunne done the rounds back in January and I’m not alone in thinking this is would be a sideways signing.

But along with Ruud, you can see Harry doing some triffic bit of business with these two ‘experienced Premiership’ players, adding a bit of steel to the squad. Even though Ruud is likely to suffer from injury quirks and Dunne is no better than what we’ve got.

Ashley Young is a right-winger who players left-wing for Villa (I think he's naturally right-footed but please do correct me if I'm wrong) and a former target who we turned down the chance of signing first time round due to the excessive £7M (or whatever it was) fee. Back in again according to the red-tops for £8M + Bentley in the opposite direction. Chelsea the other interested club.

And did someone say Joe Cole?

I’m waiting for the Downing rumours to re-emerge (more so than they did last week with the story that Boro were finally willing to let him go) and conclude with an undisclosed fee to Spurs thanks to his broken bone.

Petrov and Babel are two former targets and tabloid favs of the transfer grapevine which will no doubt do the rounds (keep track and you’ll notice there’s a rota).

Young won’t join and I hope he doesn’t as I’m not convinced he’s half as good as people think he is. He’s decent but we can do better, unless we can’t, but even if we can’t he won’t come to us. He’ll want to step up to a Top 4 club. Which is ironic as he isn’t Top 4 quality. Which would then make him perfect for us.

And breathe.

Neither will Cole join – who I think was linked via the message boards. Not sure the press have picked up on this one quite yet. I doubt we’ll go anywhere near Santa Cruz (just not worth the transfer fee being quoted) and Cisse to Spurs is pure fantasy.

Robinson? Amazing journalism there. Someone got paid for that. They actually got paid sterling. No dis-respect to Robbo who was a personal fav of mine during his time at WHL, but he signed a long term contract at Spurs and then fluffed it along with the ball in practically every game. Shocking lack of management and loyalty saw him get worse and never better and eventually sold to Rovers. We then spend £9M on a replacement. Now, having him return while the replacement is sold on would quite simply be the most comical clusterf*ck ever. Let's be done with it and just re-sign Ian Walker.

Which then leaves us with Ruud. He has the pedigree but like I said, does have injury issues. He’s been out for ages at Madrid. But his form prior to that was ridiculously good. For £1.25M I’d snap him up. But then, how do I know this isn’t just another Sunday daydream from a monkey with a typewriter?

Once more, I turn to my precious bottle of twenty-three year old rum and search for the answer at the bottom of it.