Not Tonight Sandra, I've Got A Headache

guestblog by chrisman

Sandra Redknapp is going to have a lot of time to catch up on her knitting over the next few
nights, because her husband Harry has a case of what's commonly known as 'selection headache'. Usually he's a sexual tyrant, but recent events have given him a bit of a 'narky miff' and left him unable to 'smash it' with any real conviction.

Now that we've all calmed down and had a chance to think about Tuesday's Triple Epic-Burger, a few things are becoming clear. One fact, lost in the ethereal San Siro mist, was that it was our first away win in this season's Champions League. Actually, it was only our second away win in the competition, ever (the other being over Feyenoord in 1962-63).

More importantly, the win was based on the defensive stability that served us so well in reaching the Promised Land in the first place. These may not seem like things that would normally give you a headache, but when Harry starts thinking about why we were suddenly so solid, he might come to some troubling conclusions.

So what was different from the away days of Bremen, Enschede and Milan last year? The obvious answer is that the Gallas-Dawson axis is now in full effect. But that doesn't explain the often-frantic defending and lack of shape and discipline against Sunderland, Blackburn and Everton (to name a few). Nor does it explain it's absence in Milan on Tuesday.

Sure, the players raised their performance levels for the big one, but if there is one thing you can't really accuse Spurs of these days, it's lack of effort in the 'smaller' games. The commitment is there. But the stability of last year is not. King has been a big miss, but we have a good replacement in Gallas. Huddlestone's absence has been more keenly felt, simply because no one has been able to adequately fill his shoes. Until now.

Sandro, please step forward. You are the man to pick up the gauntlet laid down by Big T's vastly-underestimated defensive displays. People tend to throw around, in a willy-nilly manner, all kinds of comments about Tom's defensive abilities, or lack of them. 'He's slow, lumbering, lazy, a big girl's blouse'. Well willy this nilly - he's a bloody good defender.

We sometimes forget that he started life as a centre half. He has an ingrained defensive nous that other midfielders will never have. He instinctively knows where the centre-half wants him to be. He knows how and where an attack is going to develop. He knows when to tackle and when to jockey. And as well as Wilson and JJ have played at times this season, neither of them will ever have any of these abilities. Physically, they have it all. Technically, they are excellent. Mentally, they lack that extra couple of percent of discipline, concentration and decisiveness that separates very good players from great ones.

JJ and Wilson are both at their best when they are running, and using their fantastic pace and athleticism. But when your main role should be as a shield to the back 4, it's often best to restrict your movement to a few square yards. To really work effectively as a unit with your 2 centre-backs, you have to be close to them and move with them. JJ and Wilson are too erratic and spasmodic with their positioning and movement. Both could potentially work well in a 2 or 3 man midfield, but with someone to sweep up behind them and allow them to maraud around the pitch.

Sandro on the other hand is at his happiest about 5 yards in front of the centre-backs, ready to make a challenge outside or clearance inside the box. When people talk about the Makelele role, they usually associate it with passing and starting attacks. What they often underestimate is the selfless and disciplined nature of the role. Rarely should you pass the halfway line (an attitude people criticize Big T for having). Even the full backs can get forward more. Sandro loves doing that grimy, filthy defensive work.

Against AC Milan, with Sandro match-fit, bedded-in and playing well, we comfortably repelled their attacks. Ok, there were a couple of headers, but we followed the tried and tested template of last season - sit back, let the defenders defend, and hit them on the break. Apart from the 2 headers, Gomes was untroubled. We kept them at arms length on the edge of the box. Calm, controlled, clinical. The compact triangle of CBs and DM could not be penetrated by the trio of Ibra, Robinho and Pato.

So where from here? The easy answer is 'straight ahead', with a simple tweak of swapping Palacios for Modric. But will Harry be willing to effectively have Sandro do a double-leapfrog over Wilson and JJ? Or will he be a bit sly, and with a nod to pragmatism 'rest' van der Vaart and go with JJ or Wilson in the middle with Modric, and Sandro behind?

In reality, if we're only playing 1 up top, van der Vaart needs to be in the team - if fit. That leaves 1 space in the midfield alongside Modric and van der Vaart, and considering  you want the magical pair to have as much freedom as possible, it makes sense to play a disciplined, selfless player with them. That player is Sandro. There are, however, other options....

One idea I'm sure Harry has toyed with is playing van der Vaart in a wider role. Van der Vaart excels most when he has space and time, and he doesn't always find that when playing in the congested central area with big bruising PL players. So moving him to a wider starting position may give him more room to pick up the ball and use that murderous left foot. He played wide right in some games earlier in the season and it worked. It could easily work again.

Another positive for this formation is that Lennon is apparently pretty comfortable switching flanks and cutting inside with his dribbling. So you get 2 great creators out wide, and 3 solid men in the middle (Sandro, Modric, JJ/Wilson). Essentially all you are doing is swapping Pienaar for JJ or Wilson, and in doing so are giving yourselves more speed and power in the middle to give your match-winners more freedom to win matches.

Despite all of this, I'm sure it's also going to be hard for Harry to resist the temptation to re-unite Crouch and Defoe up front. Blackpool will obviously come forward and leave us lots of space. Defoe could bag a couple and get his confidence back in time for the run-in. But will loading the strikers and leaving the midfield relatively bare (Lennon-Sandro-Modric-VDV) play right into Blackpool's hands?

The pragmatist in Harry surely will not allow him to be so gung-ho, and that means dropping one of the seemingly undroppable trio of Modric, Lennon and van der Vaart. All logic therefore points towards a 5-man midfield, but then again Harry's feelings for the Defoe-Crouch partnership have always been about more than mere logic. It's just something he feels comfortable with. But on recent performances, both from the team and Defoe individually, it seems the days of the 4-4-2 may be numbered, especially away from home. And since the next 2 games are indeed away from home, Harry is going to have to make some tough, emotional choices.

Sandro, Palacios, Jenas, Modric, Pienaar, Kranjcar, Lennon, VDV (edit: not so fit). That's 8 fit and on-form midfielders. Good luck Harry, and Sandra...call me.

Forward Thinking

by Chrisman

A '20 goals a season man' is a bit of a red herring. These days 15 league goals are more than enough. We get goals from all over the pitch. We do however need another striker. Crouch should be 3rd choice. Harry doesn't seem to fully trust Pav....or, reading between the lines, maybe he views Pav as essential, and was saving him for the arguably bigger game on Tuesday.

Crouch's problem - he can't beat a man. He is not a threat at all receiving it with his back to goal and beating his man on the turn. Like Pav, Defoe, or any number of top strikers can. The problem this creates is that defenders know they can get ultra tight on him, because they know he's not going to go past them. Other top strikers will automatically have 2 yards of space because defenders know they have to drop off, or risk getting put on their asses with a sharp turn and sprint. This means they can receive the ball in a bit of space, and turn and go towards goal. It opens the pitch up. Crouch always has a man hanging off him, and he can only go one way - away from goal. This makes life difficult for him and us.

He often has to receive the ball to his head, because he can't properly run the channels and be in enough space to receive it to feet. Pav is so much better at this, and adds a different angle of attack when he does it, an angle Crouch rarely provides. We end up playing the long ball to Crouch far too much. You could say that this isn’t his fault, but you could also be a bit more astute. You could see that the reason we play this ball so much is because Crouch doesn’t have the speed of movement to offer any other option.

Yes Crouchie has a good touch, and when he has chances he can take them. But he is just too slow and immobile. Even the likes of Berbatov, Saha, Anelka etc can all hold the ball up, and also offer that ability to turn and go. Crouch is one dimensional. Admittedly, that one dimension is a dimension he is pretty good at. But it’s not quite enough.

I also believe that Crouch knows he is a bit out of his depth. His confidence is suffering slightly as a result. I think if he was used as a 'plan B' 3rd striker, he would be much more comfortable. He'd know that's the role that suits him best, and it's a role in which he can really offer something. It’s just I don’t feel he offers anything that Pav doesn’t, and Pav has a lot more in his locker than Crouch. I’m not saying Pav is the second coming of Klinsmann, but right now Crouch is making him look really good. At the very least Pav deserves a good run of 6-8 games where he is a guaranteed starter. It’s no more than Crouch has had after all.

Having 5 good forwards on our books might be a good thing if they were all emotionless automatons. But they ain’t, and there are only so many games in a season, and not nearly enough to keep all 5 happy. So we end up getting some silly situations like Saturday when you have to bring on 2 strikers at once. What about letting Defoe have 10 minutes with Pav? Did anyone really expect Keane to do anything positive? Why not bring on Dos Santos up front for the last 10 minutes? It’s easy to look at things in hindsight from my armchair, but logic seems to go out of the window when so many different parties have to be appeased. Having so many good strikers will do us more harm than good.

Strikers play on confidence. They have to know their role, and know the hierarchy. What kind of situation is it when 2 strikers start, and they know that if they don’t produce anything after an hour there are 2 replacements the manager is dying to throw on? It’s not a good look. I’m pretty certain Harry knows this, and it wouldn’t greatly surprise anyone to see 2 of the 5 leave in the next week. I’d be delighted to see Keane leave, and if Crouch left I certainly wouldn’t be too worried. As long as one comes in. That still leaves us with 4.

Any number of players would do. Forlan is obviously the dream choice. Fabiano is interesting, but I think he’s too much of a finisher. In the PL you need to be able to do a lot more than just finish to be a good striker. Berbatov is an interesting proposition. I would definitely like to see what him and Pav up front could do. The move is probably there for him if he really wants it. Loic Remy looks extremely raw. Gyan looked good in the World Cup. Milevsky of Kiev looks to be a good prospect. There are plenty of options, all offering great potential but also a fair degree of risk.

I don’t think any other area of the team needs major improvements. We saw last season that it was only a pretty small improvement needed to change us from a best of the rest team into a really serious contender. We have the cake. It just needs to be iced. Give me some sweet, creamy frosting please Mr Levy.

It Begins

After 3 months of purgatory, we are back. Strap yourselves in. We're about to plunge down the other side of the rollercoaster.

Any discussion of our chances this season seems to be based around how well Man City are going to do. Personally, I think their transfer activity this season is some kind of cruel joke. Has their ever been a more colossal waste of £150 mil? Who exactly has made these transfer decisions? Because you can pretty much guarantee Mancini wouldn't have spent £5 mil on Ray Houghton, let alone £30 mil on James Milner.

I can hardly think this without guffawing out loud, like some nutcase, but is it actually Brian Marwood buying these players? Really? Brian Marwood? Sky Sports League 1 co-commentator extraordinaire? That explains a few things then. Yaya Toure is a poor man's Seydou Keita. James Milner is Steve Guppy on shedloads of creatine. David Silva was only ever any use as David Villa's lickspittle. Jerome Boateng - what are you actually buying here? A right back? A centre back? Helloooo!! Anyone at home??? Balotelli is going to be the black, attacking version of Marco Matterazzi. The PL will be too much for him, and he will be reduced to a foaming bucket of tears with alarming regularity.

Liverpool will be more of a threat. And that's not saying much. Jovanovic is a decent player, but really nowhere near the standard required for what Liverpool want to achieve. He will be like a slightly less clumsy Dirk Kuyt. Everton will be useful, but will ultimately be crippled by their manager’s simplistic, conservative playing style.

This just leaves Super Spurs. Transfer activity has been quiet, but I can't help but feel that's a good thing. The prospect of Micah Richards and Scott Parker left me cold inside. I've seen enough from the Kyles to suggest that both will be pretty decent players for us this season. Naughton looks ridiculously comfortable on the ball, and is a proper defender to boot. Walker looks like a truly awesome product, someone who will probably end up playing CB or CM. With some of Jordsy and Bondsy's magic coaching juice, I can see these players both making great strides this season, and not ending up drifting, aimlessly....like Micah Richards.

Sandro will soon be arriving, and interestingly enough O'Hara remains on the scene. I can't believe there have been no loan offers for him yet, but I also can't believe that Harry plans to actually play him. Maybe he is waiting to use the lad as a makeweight in a future transfer deal.

I like to think that Levy is playing an influential role in transfer dealings. I like to think he has told Harry he's not wasting 10-15 mil on mid-level domestic players. Ultimately, our best players (Gomes, Bale, Modric, Hudd) have not been established, PL players. They have been foreign imports or Championship wunderkids. I like to think Levy has realised this. Having said all that, the more the summer has gone on, the more I've warmed to the idea of getting Bellamy in. But to do so, Keane would have to leave. Levy's business mind probably won't allow him to let Keane leave for less that his value, but I have a feeling he will be off before the window closes. 

Harry knows something is missing up top. We heard his slightly uncharacteristic dressing down of Defoe on more than one occasion last season. It's almost fate that Dos Santos played his way back into the reckoning in Africa. I for one, and Harry for two, must be excited about the prospect of pairing him with Big Pav. Expect Defoe to start, but don't be surprised to see him yanked for Dos Santos at the first sign of stagnation. Playing Dos Santos in an inevitably more withdrawn role will also probably necessitate playing Bale on the left, as his penetration up front will be much needed.

But it seems Harry is set on playing young Gareth at left back. Probably they key to all this will be how well Sandro plays in the centre of midfield. If he turns out to be the player we all hope and dream of, then Modric will play on the left, and Bale at left back. If he doesn't, then it's Modric in CM and everyone favourite hairstyle, Benoit, at LB. I have implored Harry to buy another left back, but I suppose if you intend Sandro to be a first team regular, you don't need another left back. But we'll see. One of our strongest aspects last season was our ability to adapt and change and think on our feet, so if Harry has to make some tough choices, he'll make them.

I think a vast majority of our transfer activity will take place after Tuesday night. If we win, expect Crouch, Keane, or even both to leave, and some heavenly being to ride into town to lead us to the Promised Land. I haven't given up hope on Forlan yet. I'm half suspicious that some kind of deal has already been struck. We can dream can't we? Didn't do us any harm last season did it.....

Harry has already laid down his marker for the season, much in the same way as he did last season. We all recoiled in horror when he boldly proclaimed 4th was well within our grasp. I suspect that due to the success of his wild talk last season, we were all slightly less horrified than we might have been to hear him talk up our title chances. But bear in mind, this boast is also a veiled threat to the squad. He's saying 'you lot are good enough to mix it with the best, and if you don't, I'll ruthlessly root out those who are holding us back'. Some players will take it as a threat. Some will use it as motivation. Some will feel the proverbial ten feet tall. This is who it's really aimed at. The likes of Gomes, Bale, Modric, Hudd and King. They know what is expected of them, and to be honest it's no less than they expect of themselves.

Game on.

by guest-blogger Chrisman.

The Tournament pt 2 - The Favourites

It’s no big news that Spain and Brazil are clear favourites for the World Cup. I would even go so far as to say that no other team has a chance of winning the title, with the possible exception of Italy, but even then it’s only out of respect for them as the current Champions. So many things are pointing in the favour of Spain and Brazil, so the real question is which team will have the edge.

Brazil’s fast paced, attacking style will mean they will no doubt rack up the scores against the average teams, but the challenge to Brazil always comes against the more defensive minded of the European Heavyweights. They faded limply against France four years ago. However this is a team that Dunga has built for these type of tactical, attritional battles. People have bemoaned the lack of flair, and it’s true that this Brazil team may not be scoring 3 or 4 goals on a regular basis. But this team will still win those games. Where they hold the advantage will be later on in the tournament. The team does still have its fair quota of attacking brilliance, but they play in a much more European style. Less Samba.

The defence for Brazil is looking pretty strong this time. Juan has been quietly excellent for Roma for about 2 years now. Has such great defensive ability that he sometimes made Mexes look good. Lucio is another superb defender, and a great ball player too. The same could be said of Maicon, a more physically imposing and defensively instinctive full back than we are used to seeing. Gilberto will also basically play as a stationary wall about 5 feet in front of the defence.

Melo is a very un-Brazilian player, again very defensive and not much of a ball player. Is trying to model his game on Emerson, and not really succeeding…yet. That’s a hell of a lot of good defensive players already. This team is built primarily to not concede goals. They are also blessed with 2 great keepers. In the recent past, Brazil teams have been built from the top down i.e Ronaldo, Rivaldo, Ronaldinho and then whoever else. Even the inclusion of Elano as a playmaker/point guard is a nod to caution and pragmatism.

The biggest statement is the omission of Ronaldinho. He’s had a decent season, and you know he would produce a few magic moments if he was picked, but it’s a clear message from Dunga. These clear statements of Dunga are part of why he may not be the right man for the Brazil job. He has made the team all about his philosophy and his personality rather than that of Brazil. The Brazilian coach should be a background character. The team will pick itself, play itself, and win itself. Dunga will argue that they won that way in ’94, but then they had Romario and Bebeto. Now they have Luis Fabiano, Grafite, Nilmar and Baptista.

In ’94 Brazil, after failing miserably with their Samba style for 20-odd years, went for a different strategy. They played with midfield cloggers like Mauro Silva and Mazinho. But they won that WC because of the brilliance of Romario, and the ultimate 2^nd Striker Bebeto. They certainly won’t be able rely on the brilliance of their strikers this time, because Pato and Neymar have been left behind, and all they have up front are Luis Fabiano, Grafite, Nilmar and Baptista. None of those players are ones I see setting this tournament on fire. Fabiano is a good player, always has been, but his best years are behind him and he is not genuinely world class. So the burden will fall onto Kaka and primarily (for goals) onto Robinho.

Strikers scoring won’t be a problem for Spain. In David Villa they have a player who is making scoring over a goal every 2 games at the highest level very easy. As far as I can tell, he appears to have completely mastered the art of goalscoring. With the service he will be getting from all areas of the midfield, he won’t fail to score at least 4 goals. This fact alone will probably get Spain to the final. The only slight weakness in the Spain line up is left back, and also that Puyol will get found out a couple of times. But they will ride that out pretty easily.

Fabregas will probably play ahead of Torres, but either way it gives Spain flexibility to switch from 4-4-2 to 4-5-1 with devastating effect. They have great players in all levels of the midfield too. They managed to win the Euros without ever having to get out of 3^rd gear. They have a fairly easy group. The one thing against them is history. Spain have never won the WC, and there is the eternal taboo – no European team has ever won it outside Europe. Spain are probably better placed to break this curse than any European team previously. Despite history being against them, I make them favourites ahead of Brazil. Del Bosque is the perfect coach for this team, willing to play the background and let the players take centre stage.

The only other team that stand a chance of winning is Italy. The team is very nondescript, but, as it was 4 years ago, it’s not about the team. It’s about Lippi. In the last WC, you saw with Italy and England the 2 polar opposites of how to mould a team. England was based around the cult of the superstar player, Italy around the cult of the manager. It’s arguably been taken a step further this time with the omission of Totti.

I’m fairly certain Lippi will believe that the squad he is taking this time is actually stronger than 4 years ago. There are a lot of unrecognisable names. But the team is built around collective strength. 4 years ago they were characterized by the likes of Perotta and Iaquinta – hard working, skilful, yet totally unglamorous players. They will play by the same theory this time. They will follow Lippi’s instructions, work hard for each other, and might once again surprise a few people. The fact they are totally unheralded will play right into Lippi’s hands. This team is the footballing equivalent of a ninja assassin – silent, faceless, but brutally efficient.

Would be nice if Capello can achieve the same effect for England.

by guest-blogger Chrisman

The Tournament pt 1 - Dark Horses

The World Cup soon cometh. And in the downtime between Spurs’ latest epic, era-changing victories, it’s a nice distraction. There will be a fair few players on show that we have an interest in, but more importantly it’s simply the greatest celebration of football ever created. I know it’s the fashionable thing to say that the Champion’s League and club football has surpassed the World Cup and the international game.

To that theory I say this – bollocks. International football is still the ultimate proving ground for the best players in the world. We’ve see countless ‘top top’ players succeed on a domestic and European level, only to be totally shown up by some minor former Soviet republic in a World Cup Qualifier.

This World Cup has all the ingredients of a straight-up banger. Wild fans, all the best teams, evenly matched groups, an element of danger and games at a reasonable hour. I will be surprised if it’s not seen as the best one so far. So who will succeed? Who will fail? And what the hell is going to happen? In a series of frankly scintillating previews, I will tell you. First of all, I would like to deal with that group of teams that everyone is always ranting on about – The Dark Horses.

The first World Cup I ever watched in detail was Italia ’90. And the ‘Dark Horse’ for that tournament was Yugoslavia. In reality, they were not a dark horse – they were a strong contender. But not much has changed. The lazy answer to the dark horse question seems to be, for this WC, Serbia. But trust me, Serbia will not make it out of the group stage, despite the fact that their main rival has just lost their best player. They (still) haven’t got a centre-forward to match their decent midfield and excellent defence. Zigic doesn’t count; he’s just a shit Peter Crouch.

Also, discount Cameroon and Nigeria – they had good teams 20-odd years ago, but have since suffered from the disease of ‘thinking you’re too good to listen to any form of coaching’. Ivory Coast are probably better placed to succeed, but suffer from the similarly specific African disease of ‘good team, shit keeper’. However similar the outfield skills of teams are, expect Chris Ronaldo and co to completely sodomize Boubacar Barry. Of the African teams, I would have tipped Ghana to have the most success, coming through their group and losing in a great game to England in round 2. But that was before Essien was injured. But who knows, maybe the stage is set for the Ghetto Kid to make himself a hero…

The group that I think could provide the most unexpected surprises is Group A. Mexico showed flashes of what they are capable of against England, and in the past 2 WC’s they have practically eliminated themselves due to pure psychological incontinence. If they can overcome these demons, I could see them beating Uruguay, Argentina, and maybe even Germany. They have a better team now than in the past 2 tournaments, but the mental weaknesses still remain.

Uruguay may well be a better bet. Despite the bizarre decision not to take the brilliant Christian Rodriguez, they could still be a force. Whoever qualifies 2^nd in that group will have to play Argentina – a team blatantly there for the taking. Then after that it’s Germany, who technically should be underdogs for a lot of games these days. Unfortunately no one seems to have told them. If either Uruguay or Mexico can raise themselves out of their collective psychological pits of despair, expect significant things to happen.

One thing is for sure, and that’s whoever meets Argentina in round 2 will give them a hell of a game. The Mexico-Argentina game in ’06 was a wonderful game of football, and one that Mexico really should have won. If they can carry that experience through, and really believe in themselves, they will expose Diego Maradona’s side. Then on to Germany…

While on the subject of Germany, let’s mention another Dark Horse. Germany. Whilst there is no way my logical football brain can entertain the prospect of them winning it, I’ve seen enough in the last few years to tell me that they will do better than they should. They are a very pedestrian team. They lack anything but the most basic kind of firepower up front. Their CBs are cumbersome.

But they have that mentality of superiority. It has carried them to WC and EC finals in this decade that they had no right to be in. And it will probably propel them to at least another semi. Ballack’s absence is irrelevant. You could put a team of German pub players in the WC and they would probably beat the majority of African, Eastern European and South American teams. They are the Martin O’Neill of international football – built for tournament play, essentially inferior, but don’t know when they are beaten (a potent mix).

Now onto 2 teams which are the antithesis of the German side – South Korea and Japan. South Korea remains the last true enigma of World Football. People will always tell you that their achievements in 2002 were due to dodgy refereeing, but that is mostly elitist football propaganda. They rode their luck against Spain, but beat both Spain and Italy fair and square, and were the better team in both games. They have those performances in them. They are quick, strong, and technically good. But they have the crumble factor.

As do Japan. In the last WC, Japan comprehensively outplayed both Australia and Croatia, but failed to win either match. They are a brilliant passing team, and they actually have pace and great organisation too. Sooner or later they will learn to shoot and then we’re all in trouble. Along with Russia and England, they are the great inadequates of world football. All the talent and tangible resources you could want, but lacking any form of winner’s mentality.

If you really pressed me, I would tip both Greece and Denmark to come through and the 2^nd place teams in their respective groups. The experienced European bully-boys boring everyone on their way to routine 2^nd round elimination. But if either of Japan or Korea brings their game-faces, then we could be pleasantly surprised. Korea should beat Nigerian and Greece comfortably, but something tells me Greece will old-man their way through. Not a dark horse so much as a shit horse.

Dark horses are notoriously tricky to predict. The problem lies in the fact that whenever a team is tipped as a dark horse, they suddenly are put in the pressure situation, and the freedom that they would have experienced is taken away. This usually leads to a total breakdown, the most famous example being Colombia in ’94.

The teams that make a good fist of being dark horses are usually the teams that no one in their right mind gave a chance to – Cameroon in ’90, Bulgaria in ‘94 and Senegal in ’02. This is where, paradoxically, the Asian teams could have the advantage. No one, quite rightly, is tipping them to do anything, so the pressure is off and anything they do achieve will be a bonus.

by guest-blogger Chrisman

Still to come – The Favourites, The Fakers and the The Players.

The Redknapp Revelation

Harry Redknapp has revealed himself unto me. He appeared and spoke, softly but firmly, and assured me that everything was in hand. He spoke not in a voice or manner I recognised. I was startled at first, but then felt a wave of warm, comfortable euphoria sweep through me. He said ‘Fear not my child. And listen not to what is said. For the truth is thus – we will put those godless fuckers in their place. United, City, Chelsea, Arsenal – Judgement Day is upon them, and soon mankind will rejoice in the Kingdom of Tottenham.’ It was at that point I realised that how Harry appears physically to us is simply his ‘earthly body’. He has to do this; otherwise we would be bewildered by his brilliance. He has spent his time in the wilderness. Many people doubt him, and call him a shaman. But he will lead us to the Promised Land.

Harry has been tested this season more times than I care to remember. And each time he has come through with clarity and skill. I knew he was a good coach, able to organise a defence and get a team passing the ball better than the average gaffer. What I also thought I knew was that he was a man of simplistic footballing views and assertions. And that these assertions would be what ultimately held him back from the upper echelons. More fool me. When Robbie Keane was being sent on loan to Celtic, or Jenas was being basically put out for the binmen to pick up after the Wolves debacle, I found myself double and triple taking – is this really happening? Did Harry really haul Jenas off at half time, never to dress him in a Spurs shirt again? Did he really publicly humiliate £20 million club captain Robbie Keane? Did he really make the calls that all of us implored him to make, but privately thought were a bit too outrageous? Yes. Yes he did.

How many of us, hand on heart, would have gone with the Modders/Hudd CM combination? We thought Harry would be humble, play it safe. 2 points from 8 games. Never had it so good. Punching above our weight. And how we all fell for it! The clues were there though. All season, whilst always playing things down, he quietly muttered that we were aiming for 4^th. Of course, he did more than enough to counter that with the constant bollocks spouted about how good Liverpool are, how far we’ve come, how grateful we should be etc etc. And I use the word bollocks advisedly. Because that’s what it was. Pure bollocks. Harry knew all along that we would do it. Privately, he is probably mad as a lorry that we finished with as few points as we did. Privately, he knows that next season they are all there for the taking. All of them.

He could have brought in a safe bet as keeper (James, Green), but he didn’t. He stuck with the big, odd, whackjob. He could have sold Dawson, or just let him continue having the regular schoolboy panic attacks. He could have let Bale drift as the next floating showpony. He could have let Huddlestone become Jan Molby but without the team-mates. BAE and Bentley have come on so much since Harry and his team of coaches got hold of them. Harry has coached the arses off them, and induced quite remarkable rises in the performance levels of most of the team. Even the recruitment of Sherwood and Ferdinand, when viewed retrospectively, is genius – what PL player has ever heard of old jokes Kevin Bond and Joe Jordan? Better get a couple of flash gits with nice suits and lush birds that the players will listen too. Then sneakily make them better players without them even noticing, while Shersy and Ferdsy regale them with enthralling tales of mindless idiocy.

Harry made many errors this season. Playing Keane and Jenas for too long. Not playing Pav. Getting the left sided choice wrong at times. But on all of these occasions, he has righted his wrongs with startling speed. Once all the debris had been cleared and the engine was tuned up, the team was like a runaway train. And when the hard choices had to be made, he made them. No sentiment whatsoever. Wilson, sorry, but you are not the centre midfielder for the ‘next level’. Thanks, but no thanks.

He has learnt a lot. Nobody knows everything, something that certain other North London managers would do well to remember.

And maybe I’m losing my fucking mind here, but maybe, just maybe, Harry is about to switch on all of us. Secretly, late at night, in Harry’s palatial home in wherever, when Jamie has been tucked up in bed in his Spiderman PJs, Harry lights up a fat Cuban cigar, and sits back in his big chair, Tony Montana style. And he turns to Sandra and says ‘You know what luv? We’re gonna rip this shitty little slag-league apart next season. Wenger? Fucking losing it. Fabregas? Gone. Fergie? Alzheimers. Drogba? Don’t worry; I’ve got a mindgame for that little tart. Lampard? Modric. Mancini? Can’t speak English. Ferdinand, Essien, Persie, all crocks. Vidic is off. Ok, so maybe give me Evra, or that other little ponce who can play left back. And Rooney or Tevez. The rest can fuck right off.’ I’m not saying this because I necessarily believe it. I’m saying it because I believe that Harry is at least 2 steps ahead of us all, and believes in the talent of himself and his players a lot more than anyone else does.

All this transfer talk of Bellamy, Richards and Carlton Cole is rubbish. He is going to sign 2 shit-hot strikers and 1 left back. He knows that there is no such thing as standing still in this league. You’re either going forwards or back. And forwards for us means challenging the top 2. And you ain’t doing that with Craig Bellamy, much as I have always been a fan of his play. Behind the façade that Harry presents to us, there is a disturbingly ambitious and motivated man. Harry wants to prove he is the best. Behind old cockney bagpuss is an absolute beast of a manager waiting to be unleashed.

By guest-blogger, Chrisman.

Fulham v Spurs - It's Actually Massive

by guest blogger Chrisman

I’m going to lay it on the line here – The F.A. Cup QF against Fulham will be a cracker. It might not have loads of goals, and we might not get either of the results that we want, but it will be good. It will be a rarity – a game between two PL teams desperately wanting to win. And two teams quite reasonably believing they can win.

Roy Hodgson is a manager that I love listening to. He is almost the polar opposite of Harry in his handling of the media. Hodgson will openly, and often quite savagely ridicule the interviewer and his questions. ‘Roy, surely this is a must win game?’ he will be asked. His reply will be something along the lines of ‘Well, what happens if we don’t win? Does the season end? Will Fulham FC automatically self-destruct? Of course we want to win, but no, it’s not a must win’. You can tell he absolutely hates the cliché driven style of football in the British media, and he won’t even play lip service to it. Harry, on the other hand, revels in it.

Both men are actually very similar. The difference in their personas is directly due to the fact that Hodgson has spent the best part of 30 years in management outside England. To a total foreigner coming here, the way the ‘media circus’ exists will be a source of amusement, bafflement and eventual indifference. But because Hodgson is English, and he understands it a bit more, he’s visibly disgusted by it. He doesn’t even make an effort to conceal his total contempt for it. Old Harry, however, doesn’t have that luxury. He has had to play the game over the last 20 years, and he’s played it pretty well. He is so well versed in cliché speak that it’s actually very difficult to tell what he is thinking, about anything, ever. But one thing is certain, and it’s one thing that Harry’s cliché speak and Hodgson’s cynicism cannot overpower – The F.A Cup is a trophy both of these men are still desperate to win.

There won’t be any resting players, no saving it for the league – with 3 of the traditional big 4 already out, this is probably the best chance either team has had of winning the trophy for quite a while. It’s the business end of the tournament, and it’s 2 men at the business end of their careers. Expect both teams to give everything on behalf of the managers and fans.

Pavlyuchenko remains the key man for Spurs. If he plays as well as he has done, we have a great chance. With Defoe probably out, you feel Pav has to score if we are to get a result. And with Huddlestone out, a huge amount of responsibility falls on Modric, and to a lesser extent Kranjcar. Playing against a Fulham midfield that is likely to include Murphy, Gera, Davies and maybe Greening could be a blessing. They have a lot of ball players and not a lot of horsepower in their midfield, which should suit us if we are to play Modric in the middle. Conversely, the battering ram approach of Zamora should suit Dawson’s style. Gomes is going to have to have another good game if we are going to get a result. More of his heroics from the league visit to Craven Cottage are pretty essential.

It’s also to be expected that Smalling and Hangeland won’t have too much trouble dealing with a ‘direct’ approach. What we need is Pav coming deep and linking up with Modric and Kranjcar. If the 3 of them hit it off, we could, against all odds, win the game. If we were to do that, without Defoe and Huddlestone in the team, I think that will give the lads a pretty significant confidence boost for the rest of the season. What’s more likely is a hard fought score draw, then back to the lane for another classic night of mayhem.

Excitement building already. With the battle for the top 4 taking all our attention, this has almost approach unnoticed. But it’s here, an F.A. Cup Quarter Final, and a London Derby to boot. Sexual Chocolate.

The Prodigal Son

by guest blogger Chrisman.

Football came easy for you, didn’t it? Ever since you went on loan to Bournemouth, you’ve been scoring goals. Good quality goals. And you’ve been making it look pretty easy. Since you were 18 years old, you’ve had the technical ability to control and strike the ball that 95% of professionals would kill for.

So I suppose it’s not really any sort of surprise that you completely take those skills for granted. I suppose it’s not surprising that, given your immense level of natural ability, you steadfastly refuse to listen to any type of coaching or advice. I suppose it’s even less surprising that you don’t listen to coaching, since the man who initially blew so much smoke up your ass and told you how brilliant you were is the man who has paradoxically been trying to ‘coach’ you for most of your career.

What you don’t have, Jermain, is the desire to make yourself better than the sum of your skills. Ian Wright, an abhorrent man though he is, had that desire. So did Lineker. It’s scary to think of what those 2 players could have achieved if they had Defoe’s talent (ok it’s not scary – they’re Klinsmann or Batistuta). Defoe, however, has neither the desire nor strength of character to achieve his full potential. He wants to do everything on his own terms, without having to really sweat, really grind it out, really put his body and mind on the line. His general attitude to adversity is extremely poor, and he seems like one of the players you would least want on your side when things aren’t going well.

It’s another example of Harry Redknapp’s in-fighting with himself. He told Jermain to play his natural game. Play to his strengths. Sit on the last shoulder. Wait for the scraps to fall for him. Score goals. Because that’s the most important thing for a striker. Scoring. As long as you are scoring, what more can someone ask…..right? Wrong. I’ve heard Harry say it a few times over the last few weeks….Jermain needs to add more to his game. He needs to work more, link up with the midfield and his strike partner more. Do more running. Use more movement between defence and midfield. Do you think Harry was saying this to Jermain when they were at Pompey, or even West Ham? No, because back then, scoring goals was enough.

But with the move up in teams comes the move up in expectations. Jermain has been here before, and for whatever reason (certainly not lack of talent) he couldn’t cut it. Actually the reason was pretty obvious – Berbatov thought Defoe was a footballing simpleton, and made it very clear that he wasn’t going to waste his time going through strike partnership 101 with him. I’m fairly certain we are approaching some sort of groundhog day with Pav taking the Berba role. Defoe might not be learning, but old Harry will not be as ignorant. Not now he has seen with his own eyes what we all saw 3 years ago.

It’s probably come as much of a shock to Harry as to anyone else that despite scoring 25 odd goals, something is clearly missing from Defoe’s game. I think it’s been a massive mind-mangler for Harry - he spent nearly £40 million on strikers, and the most talented all round player we have in that department is apparently the one who was already there. And also the one that Harry rated the least. Harry may well be stubborn and old fashioned, but he is also smart, and has a wonderful instinct for self preservation. This means that he tends to correct his errors sooner rather than later, and I give him immense credit for swallowing his pride on this and no small amount of other issues in the last year or so. It’s like everything he knew and learnt in his last 20 or so years of management has to be thrown out of the window. Flushed down the toilet. And the really sad thing is that along with those footballing ‘truths’ that Harry has to discard, there are players too. Poor Defoe (and maybe Crouchie) will soon be bogflushed like so much bumwad. This brings me on to…

…if anyone ever needed an example of how scoring goals is not the be all and end all for a striker, look no further than Ruud Van Nistelrooy. Arguably the best all round finisher you are ever likely to see, but Ferguson knew Man Utd weren’t going to win the league again with him in the team. Ferguson was able to make the brutal decision to jettison the club’s top scorer. Almost literally, he had to send the old horse to the glue factory. You can almost hear him now, neighing ‘but boss, I’ve scored 20-plus league goals in ever season, I’ve scored shedloads in the Champs League…what more can I do?’ Ferguson won’t answer, because he knows ol’ Boxer won’t understand. He doesn’t understand the complexities of the issue. He’s not programmed to think, or to understand. Just score. 

Jermain is a player who can be a joy to watch. But more often than not he’s sullen, petulant, lazy and selfish. He is the classic spoilt child, told by his mentor that he is wonderful and beyond reproach. It’s going to be quite a shock to the system to see lanky misfits A and B usurp him in the pecking order for Spurs and England. Can he comprehend what is happening? Does he have the mental strength to do something about it? History suggests that the answer to both questions is no. And to be perfectly honest, I doubt very much whether Defoe cares. It’s going to be his way, or not at all.