Tuesday, September 7, 2010 at 9:26PM Defoe. Off. On a stretcher. Clutching his ankle. Three Spurs players go on England duty. How many come back fit? Can someone say 'conspiracy'? If you want further evidence, look no further than this Saturday's up and coming EPL game away to W.B.A.
Howard Webb officiates.
Facebook Tottenham Relegation Party group in 3...2...1...
Tuesday, March 16, 2010 at 6:30PM by guest-blogger Tricky
Football; a lot of us watch it live, some of us listen to it and some of us have to be content with the ‘highlights’. But how much of a true representation is it and how do different media streams of the Beeb get their point across. And who chooses what gets missed out?
Well starting with Radio 5 Live it's exactly that (a true representation); on the spot, full coverage, all incident and aspect considered, often to the nth degree bordering on trivia quiz.
The Beebs live internet format is a relatively new, but in essence is simply a web based version of Ceefax (if you don’t know what that is just ask your dad, if you don’t know who your dad is give Jeremy Kyle a call) with more info.
But what of the much loved MOTD? After all condensing a 90 minute game into 11mins of highlights and 3 minutes of ‘analysis’ requires a lot of editing, but for some it is an institution. But surely the Beeb are an impartial neutral, able to report with objectivity and without bias. So if anyone can they can, right?
But then again this is a programme where - for what seems like eternity - they have employed two pundits who were given carte blanche to wax lyrical about their old clubs, so you have to question their bias in the first place on that point.
Lawro and Hansen hard at work analysing
And the integrity of the new kids on the block? Well, I only have to ask what sort of genius would employ an irrepressible beast who has a ‘face for radio’ to help analyse the game? (Do they not know that I watch the repeats on a Sunday morning and have to eat breakfast sometimes faced with the gargoyle love child of ‘Sam the Eagle’ and Andi McDowell?)
So is MOTD a true representation of the game or it is edited to buggery with intentional bias?
Well, last Sunday I managed to watch the first half of Sunderland vs. Man City, and then listened to the second whilst in the car on 5 live. Now a certain Mr, Shaun Wright-Wright Phillips had, by all accounts, a woeful game and was the cause of the head shaking by Mancini who couldn’t believe how wasteful with his possession he had been, and then the radio covered an incident.
Now this incident bought into question the competence of the referee, (The radio 5 commentator said at the time the ref “bottled” making the correct decision which would have led to the dismissal of Wright-Wright Phillips) and how one moment could affect the course of a game.
For those that didn’t hear /see it; Born of frustration WWP effectively handled the ball whilst it was in play, already on a yellow and a goal down, the ref simply restarted and looked across to the bench as though he had been expecting a substitution to occur as his ‘get out of jail free card’. Sunderland can perhaps feel a little hard done by.
And so later on when watching MOTD2 I was interested to see, err, nothing. No reference to it, nada. There was time for a little montage of woeful shooting, but an actual incident that could have altered the context of the game. Not an iota of coverage at all. Nada, just an extra minute spent on the equalizer (not the late Edward Woodward) and how Adam Johnson might now be ‘a contender for the World cup squad.
So now, if you read the online match report on Beeb or watched the highlights you would be forgiven for thinking from the comments made on MOTD by the commentator that Adam Johnson’s inclusion was just a tactical change.
Now taking a step back from the ‘one game mentality’ for one moment, we all know that any given season could be said to be nothing more than a series of interconnected ‘incidents’, out of which both the myth of ‘what goes around’ and ‘the conspiracy theories’ are born.
They help form opinion, often about opposing clubs, and with a myriad of sources available who do we tend to believe? The journalists perhaps, after all they were there? But then they’re hardly without bias (just ask the reporters at the standard).
Consequently we all know people who dislike us, not for what we are, but for how we are portrayed, our team, our manager [yet another separate barrel of fish that one] and even our fans. And you can almost forgive some of them, because six different match reports could equally be from different games.
So having watched MOTD objectively I have some new conspiracy theories, time will tell how self fulfilling they become:
- Is it now policy between now and May on MOTD to always show potential England players in a good light?
- There must be a Rooney montage available for all end credits?
- Each show should include the ‘kiss of death’ commentary that Rooney needs to ‘stay fit for the WC if we are to stand a chance’?
- No wrong decisions by referees will be shown to undermine them (or at least our representatives at the summer WC, can’t think who they might be though)?
- Do we now ignore the negative aspect of the national teams players, in order to help build up the inevitable furore and ‘national pride’ across the country, as we all believe that our players are without fault 100% of the time?
So what of Gerrard and his investigation by FA? There are those who seem to think that in a World Cup year certain players are ‘untouchable’, but it should make no difference, surely? But will it be ‘carpet and brush’ as in previous years or is this the next ‘Terrygate’? (edit: Spooky: FA have turned a blind eye much like the ref who was staring at the incident when it happened)
And what of the neutrals? Those of us who follow the game and for whom day to day banter with opposing fans in an office or out with friends and family is often based upon these half truths.
Well, as Day of the Triffics pt2 has shown (link to his rundown of Webb-isms from Blackburn match report) the fans remember the incidents, in their own way and from their perspective, so when you next watch MOTD maybe a healthy dose of cynicism wouldn’t go amiss.
For me, I will declare my bias accordingly, I still love MOTD, but then if anyone has read my biog Lineker is my childhood hero, so I’m 100% biased on this one.
And if you're looking for a new drinking game, try the ‘triffic game’ with Harry full pre- and post- match interviews, you’ll be on the floor in 90 seconds.
Friday, March 12, 2010 at 2:18PM From an interview, Sam Allardyce (continuing his war of words with Rafa), states the following gem whilst discussing Liverpool:
"The last time one of the big four didn't finish in the top four it was Liverpool - Everton got that spot - and I think this time it looks pretty difficult having lost against Wigan.
"They are having to rely on other teams slipping up now.
"They have a wealth of experience and that may be a telling factor when the nerve ends start jangling. We saw what happened to Tottenham a few years ago with the famous 'poisoned lasagne' scenario - which was obviously never the case - and they let it slip"
What was never the case? The fact that several of our players, ghost white in colour, left their vomit all over the pitch at Upton Park? Or was that just down to the occasion? The ear-bleeding inducing reaction from the locals singing that one same dreary song over and over and over again. Or perhaps the players having epiphanies that we had no right to gate-crash the CL and nerves got the better of them, with diarrhoea decimating our hopes and dreams, which had both left the ground before kick-off hand-in-hand to go fetch their shinebox.
Nice dig there Sam. Subtle, sort of blink and you'll miss it though. I read it on Team Talk. By accident. Not exactly back page banter. I guess too busy with your man-crush on Rafa to fully concentrate on ye old Tottenham and try and stir things up properly post-match.
Shame on me for getting all Bruce Banner there for a minute almost turning a shade of green (green because I'm citing the anger of Banner turning into the Hulk rather than going green from eating a dodgy lasagne or catching the Norovirus - just thought I'd clarify that to avoid any unnecessary confusion).
Whilst on the subject - It's far more media-friendly and joke-friendly to tag the whole incident as food poisoning even though the hotel in question was cleared - which I guess is what Sam is referencing there, bit like saying 'if its not food poisoning then its down to nothing more than bottling it on the day'. Miss Marplesque deduction.
Smash them to pieces I say.
Regardless of the dig, it's only going to rile up a couple of fans and will hardly do any psychological damage to Harry and the players, considering that game happened way way back in 2006. Big Sam, little impact.
Smash them to pieces anyway.
Hit them hard, like an Opus dropped on your head. Talking of books (I'm so smooth), something not so heavy but possibly as good a read (and far more affordable) - make sure you check out Spurs' Cult Heroes - the first published book from All Action No Plot blogger and writer Michael Lacquiere. I'll give it a proper review when I get my copy delivered. Be sure to check it out anyway, available from the Spurs official site, WHSmith, Amazon, Tesco, Waterstones and Play…to name a few. Shop around.
Blanchflower, Mackay, Jones, Chivers, Gilzean, Jennings, Hoddle, Perryman, Greaves, Mabbut, Ginola, Nicholson, Gazza…list is endless. Well, it's not exactly endless because he'd never have been able to get the book out, but its jam-packed with legends. We've had one or two special players in our history, not bad for a ickle club.
Time for a cuppa.
Thursday, March 11, 2010 at 9:25PM by guest-blogger Tricky
NOTE: The following Diary extract is entirely fictional, any resemblance to persons either living or dead, or called Dave are purely coincidence and therefore DML cannot be held liable.
Week 1
Monday
Have just got Chinese New Year calendar from local restaurant, and have decided to keep a diary for purposes of documenting my scientific study of Ephedrine and its effects. Only a small space on each day for comments, certainly not enough space for capital letters only, may have to reconsider if it gets too much for me. Strange that they give out New Year calendars in February, must be cheaper to get them made in Jan I guess, what with the sales and all.
Tuesday
Decided to form Ephedrine Awareness and Testing Society, or EATS for short. Must make people aware of EVIL that is Ephedrine. After last week’s trial run of EVIL, this week I am blind testing LSD as a scientific means of a comparative. Updated Wikipedia entry on EVIL, so far my amendments have been ignored, must write a letter to someone about this. Note: someone has stolen ‘caps lock’ button from keyboard at work.
Wednesday
Just opened fortune cookie from chinese restaurant (it had rolled under the sofa so only just discovered) it says, ‘You are Dave Ephedrine and I am going to stalk you to the end of your days’. These things are always so ambiguous so decided to ignore it. Feeling quite buzzy all day so had a cup of horlicks to calm me down. Still better than last week’s EVIL test.
Dave
Thursday
Not a good day! Dave the Brick (my pet brick, no relation) had a proper mard on, put him on naughty step for the rest of the day to have a good think about whether he wants to be part of the conservatory or not. Am starting to wonder if a week on LSD is enough to constitute ‘scientific evidence’, certainly it would be better than any of those hair product adverts with that annoying bint from ‘four weddings’.
Friday
Had no response from blog forums to joining EATS, I wanted to use all capital letters to make my point, but still can’t find the caps lock key. Might start a facebook group as that seems to be the way things are done today. Took three hours to get home, although two were spent studying the tube map at underground station, it’s quite fascinating really. Still feel a little bit buzzy, wondering if Horlicks might have negative effect on test results, will google later for research purposes.
Saturday
Match day – Hooray, trip to WHL. First time I’ve ever noticed someone following me to WHL all the way from my house, remembered fortune cookie, but ignored it as the features of his face melted away after a while. Don’t remember result as decided to watch Harry and only stand up when he did (thought it might make another good scientific experiment) got cold and confused, stood up and went home at half time.
Sunday
One week of testing concludes that LSD is not as bad for you as Ephedrine, Dave the brick disagrees, but I think that’s because he’s still narked at Mrs. Dave putting him outside after tripping over him when he was on the naughty step. I have compiled the heart rate readings on hard drive and labelled and stored sample bottles in fridge for reference. Will update Wikipedia again later with results.
to be continued...
Friday, February 26, 2010 at 12:25PM Training HQ shut down. Eighteen players and staff affected with illness. Wilson Palacios and Vedren Corluka struggling to be fit for the Everton game on Sunday.
The far reaching remnants of David Dein's devastating influence years after 2006 and the biggest conspiracy since JFK have ghosted back in to potentially damage our run-in campaign.
In addition, Defoe (hamstring) and Bentley (hair out of place) are also injury concerns. And with Pompey in administration, expect Kevin Prince Boateng to return for an undisclosed fee in the summer, just to compound the hurt further.
RIP 2010 season; faster than you can tuck into a pasta dish and puke it up.
But do not fret. We have Kaboul ready and willing to slot into the right-back position as he was re-signed as a utility player (of sorts). But alas, no need. Because BAE (who isn't a right back) can play there because even though he's not a right-back naturally, he's more trusted to achieve stability in that position than the aforementioned player.
But do not fret. We have Kaboul ready and willing to slot into the defensive midfield position as he was re-signed as a utility player (of sorts). But alas, no need. Jenas can partner Huddlestone in the middle. Hahaha, just jesting, just jesting. He's also struggling with an injury.
So perhaps Modric can play there with Niko out on the left. In fact if we need to draft in a sack of potatoes to do a job in place of Jenas/Kaboul in Wilson's (probable) absence, then so be it.
No Azza, he's apparently flying off to Europe for an op. Ah Europe, the promised land. One day, one day.
I have not a clue how well we've managed to train yesterday/today with the Lodge locked down. I can only hope that Everton's limp away form and a rejuvenated Pav will be able to do enough to win the day for us. Harry continuing his half-arsed attempts at back-pats by suggesting Roman needs to work harder, which to be fair is half decent motivation. Although completely redundant comments unless the Russian picks up a copy of The Sun and asks his interpreter to translate.
Never boring, this THFC lark. COYS.
Enjoy your Friday afternoon.
