The many that got away

guest blog by Chris King

Picture the scene.

On a Volcanic Island, thirty years from now, a group of shrivelled, hangdog men are sat round a table chatting. It is the third annual conference of the “Failed Evil Genius” club, and the members are starting to recount their near misses in life.

“I almost killed Superman.”

“I almost caught that pigeon.”

“I did bring the Labour Party and British economy to its knees, but it cost me my job.”

And then, from a darkened corner of the room; a slight, rasping voice speaks up

“I almost signed Diego Forlan, and Giuseppe Rossi, and Charlie Adam, and……”

Dear Mr Levy last night reaffirmed his position within the ranks of a multitude of Spurs’ Chairmen and Managers who nearly clasped their hands around the final piece of the jigsaw. Before, as in any end to an Indiana Jones movie, the piece crumbled to sand, drifting off in the air to sign a contract extension with their current club.

Spurs is now a clear byword for a failed transfer coup.

The image most fans will have from yesterday is of Levy watching reruns of Revisita la Liga, with his ENIC cheque book and pen, frantically shouting “Want, Want, Need, Got” at the TV, as a myriad of stars caught his eye. Offers were submitted before renegotiated contracts were confirmed with existing clubs.

Forlan, Rossi, Aguero, Llorente. Four players that could have shined in the Lilywhite kit yet either chose, or were made to choose their current club over a last minute, 11^th hour offer from Mr Levy. Now it may be unfair to say the planning was all last minute, but it is clearly how it played out. Would things have been different with Forlan or Rossi if we’d have tried to agree deals pre-Transfer window opening – as in – before Rossi signed a new contract extension?

The whole issue yesterday smacked of the failed attempts to get Luis Fabiano, Fernando Morientes and Rivaldo. The only time we’ve had any lucky dealing with Spanish clubs is when Van der Vaart fell in to our hands, but you have a feeling that it was the selling club that thought they got the best from that deal.

It’s not just foreign stars we struggle to capture. Carroll was on the radar before everyone took leave of their senses and made him the most expensive Englishman ever. Gareth Barry was supposedly a target of Harry’s; as was Craig Bellamy, Joe Cole and Micah Richards in the summer. All average players, which – just like Robbie Keane – may have had a moment in the sun before being, relegated to yet more squad roles on the fringe of missing the cut for the final 25.

Either clubs fear us and our potential, or more likely – they don’t respect us, don’t believe we will go through with the deals, or more importantly – like with Carroll – they can use us as patsies to get more loyalty or money elsewhere.

The other, more worrying aspect to our current transfer “policy” is the panic bids for players that have had attention from elsewhere. If another club wants a player, like Charlie Adam, then when those talks breakdown (also read Gareth Barry to Liverpool), we seem to find a pot of money to make a last ditch bid – knowing that there isn’t the time, nor interest to get the deal through. What did the Adam bid signify? What does it say about us as a club, or Levy as the chief negotiator? He is quoted as driving a hard bargain – but to what end, the death of our ambition?

Finally, for January at least, there was the derisory bid for Phil Neville – can we really afford £30m for an attacker, but have to pay £500,000 in two instalments – or the desperate attempt to get Beckham onboard to a) sell shirts, b) build prestige or c) talk to Seb Coe? The latter is now more likely to be seen in the stands at the Emirates with his boy than for Spurs to send out more glamour shots of him in our training kit.

Who do we trust in all of this? Since Comolli’s departure – and hold any view you want of him, at least he gave us “direction” – there is no clear view as to who orchestrates the transfer moves, nor who has final say in the type of player we need. All we have is Harry playing out every child’s* Football Manager Fantasy via the Sky Sports’ reporters. Telling the world who he wants, before playing dumb when everything has gone pear shaped. Is it possible to apply a gagging order to your own manager?

It is the current players you have to have a momentary sense of compassion for. Pav appears to have been used as a make weight in most of our deals. He polarises the fan base like no other in the squad, yet it’s hard to see where his motivation will come from now? Is he our fourth choice striker behind Van der Vaart, Defoe and Crouch? Will he be rotated as the big man du jour? Will he end up being Spurs’ very own “Humphrey” Bogarde, running down his contract before moving on for nothing? It is clear that Harry sees a future without him, but then only if Levy gets the right price in return.

Even the flawed Hutton must have woken up this morning realising he is Harry’s second choice right back; the first currently still employed by Everton.

Though I doubt any of this is really new or news to you. When a previous chairman claims our biggest rivals were mugs for buying Carlos Kickaball** – who turned out to be one of the best players to play in the Premier League – then it shows, Champions League qualification aside, we’re still on a different level, in terms of transfers, to the clubs we’ve been chasing for years.

Roll on the next window – I hear Maradona is available and still has an eye for goal.

*some adults also play Football Manager and other well know computer games

** Bergkamp explodes the myth he was a Spurs fan, rather a Hoddle fan in the current Four Four Two.

Chris King almost signed for York Railway Institute Amateurs Bowls Club, but stayed with his current side Holgate out of loyalty last season.

Answer to forward conundrum must not take us backwards

Spurs down to 5^th. Harry out.

In all seriousness (because I’m in a serious kinda mood), we are creeping ever closer to our old friend, the January transfer window, amidst all the hullabaloo of Harry and that marquee signing he (and Daniel) are apparently desperately itching to sign. It’s been the theme of the season, the slow brooding arc hiding in the shadows whilst the players we do have, parading with pomp in Lilywhite, get on with swaggering, swashbuckling and spurring their way onwards.

I’ve got a lot of time for Harry and what he does. He takes players, some broken others forgotten, and rejuvenates them. BAE and Bale two perfect examples. And even Hutton what with this recent realisation that discipline and positioning is vital to Lennon up ahead of him. He works his magic, via hugs I guess. Broken players are fixable. However, some of his transfer targets have at times been questionable. I cite Joe Cole, but then who knows what Cole would have brought to the team. Hardly a thing I expect as he tends to spend most of his time on the sidelines. van der Vaart was on ‘the list’ but you get the feeling we got lucky thanks to circumstance. Not that I’m complaining. I’m certain even on form Cole would not have come anywhere near producing what vdV does. Rafa is not just about the skills with his feet but more so about the mental strength and focus he brings to the side, which rubs off on other players. Master-stroke signing. And a lucky escape. Even though the fact of the matter is - it wasn't our first choice.

Goes to show what one world class player can bring to the table. And how others begin to click because of it. So what about the arrival of new blood in the new year?

We’re going to sell players, I’m sure of it. Decrease the wage bill, earn us a bit of wedge. What is certain is that consolidation is positively screaming out for attention. The Prem is wide open and what with our strength in depth, another player of similar ilk to vdV playing, dare I suggest, up front ahead of the Dutchman sitting in the hole – well, this would surely dilate the pupils and make hairs stand on back of neck, jigging and smoking Cuban cigars.

Momentum (sorry, I’m boring myself with repeatedly going back to this) is the key. There is no runaway leader(s) or packs. Other than a slight, ever so slight, gap beginning to appear just below us which might suggest last season’s top five will be repeated this season. But in what order?

If we’re going to stick around in the upper tier then we need to be clinical. We are doing so much right at the moment in terms of the midfield scoring a decent quota of goals. And sure, we need to keep more clean sheets and continue to win more games at home. But we certainly need to be scoring more as a general rule. And I know it’s the chicken and the egg in terms of actually creating the chances in the first instance, but place a world class striker in the team and watch how much easier it will be to do just that. It’s nothing that needs deep theoretical thought. Imagine say a twenty five year old Drogba up top for us. Woof, no?

Don’t ask me who our saviour will be because I don’t know (Carroll the most likely). I will say this – Spurs, Levy and Harry will sign the right player if we are looking for the right player in the forward position. It’s an assumption we are all making based on what we all know. Keane is spent, Pav scores but can offer too little at times and Crouch is better in defence than attack.

Harry has mentioned names in the past, but I tend to associate any talk at press conferences as the usual misinformation/deflection tactic. The recent Dzeko comments make me wonder if Harry is playing games and perhaps looking at one of Eastland’s ‘rejects’ (if City want to play ball this time round). Hopefully not on both accounts.

Regardless of all the forward talk, the one constant has been midfielder Scott Parker. Not a forward, a midfielder, obviously. Not a defensive midfielder (we have a couple of them already) but a robust ‘engine room’ type of box to box blah blah blah...haven’t we already got Jenas? So why the continuous linkage with the supposed Spurs fan who has already rejected us twice?

And here’s the conflict I have with this in terms of our gaffer and his initial stance on his first choice transfers. Harry does things, you scratch your head and question it and in the end he justifies it. If he thinks Parker could do a job then why question it? Even if all logic points to our already quite congested midfield pool. Personally, I don’t want us going anywhere near the player. And West Ham feel the same and he’s hardly ‘marquee’. But much like the Joe Cole saga before he did us a favour and signed for Liverpool, you wonder what Harry is looking for and how much of it is reactionary as opposed to planned (i.e. vdV and 451). If he doesn't get his man it's hardly been a disaster, has it? But this time round we need to be absolutely certain that the player(s) we sign is a perfect fit that doesn't cause ripples of regret when we look to fit him into the team.

So we await. In an ideal world, I’d sign a forward and another DM. Even with the wealth we have already in that congested middle order, even though I’ve downplayed the Parker obsession and even though Wilson is picking up form. Two world class players to our current side and, pinch yourself, we could even finish top three. And that ain’t the rum talking.

Of course, some might say why spend money on yet another forward that is meant to be the answer but might turn out to be a little too apologetic in performance (much like a certain Russian). But then Harry and Levy are more than aware that second best is not going to be a satisfactory option if there are viable targets out there that we could sign to take us to that next level.

Next month is going to be massive for us. No pressure then. But I won’t obsess too much. For me, and probably for you too, all we can ask for is continued form in the league and more points (cause they mean prizes).

New blood will only make us stronger. We're unlikely to make a wrong judgement with so much at stake. I have faith. So it's all good. Roll on 2011.

Spooky recommends...All-conquering Englishman spurs his way across Europe

Capital Punishment by Kris Mole - Ebook available here

extract:

Having blagged his way into a Barcelona FC press conference...

"My fantasy interview was cut short by someone entering the room talking on a mobile phone. I turned to see who it was and couldn’t believe my eyes. Xavi, all 5’7” of him (he’s a littl’un) was standing beside me having a chat to someone, probably his girlfriend, telling her he would be home for dinner soon and could she make sure there were a few San Miguels in the fridge. He glanced at me with a look that said,

“Who the **** are you?” and I nodded a greeting his way. He then looked down at the cockerel on my chest and sighed the kind of sigh that I knew meant, “If only they would put in a bid for me. I would love to play for Spurs one day.”

He finished his conversation and left me alone once again."

Transfer deadline day brain Vaart

Chaotic. You have to scratch your head and wonder about it all, mainly because none of it appears to follow any type of outlined plan written up in the THFC War Room long before battle commences.

"The Premier League are understood to be investigating what Spurs claim were difficulties involving computer servers used in the transaction between themselves and Real, which hindered their attempts to submit the relevant paperwork on time."

Dead line missed. Special dispensation requested. 25 man squad to be named by 5pm. Tick tock tick tock. Drama.

Let's review.

We've been chasing players for a while. Harry wanted Bellamy. Harry wanted Parker. We supposedly inquired about Fabiano. Adebayor another linked one. We've signed a defender, a goal-keeper and a central midfielder. The defender on a free (Gallas), the keeper is extra-extra cover (Pletikosa) and the midfielder was tied up an age ago (Sandro) so good to see him finally arrive from Brasil (having just won the Copa Libertadores title with Internacional).

We've plugged the holes that needed plugging. Perhaps not perfectly, but plugged nonetheless. CB cover was imperative. We probably still need to look at this area going forward, what with Woodgate on the verge of retirement and King's knee. But for now, for the present, the signing of Gallas might yet prove to be one of shrewd astuteness that will bring much need leadership and experience. Tantrums and tears the risk.

Pletikosa is there just in case he's required, what with all the extra games to be played this season and Gomes softy soft skeleton. Sandro is someone I'm immensely looking forward to seeing. I know there is plenty of talk about him taking time (understandably) to settle in England, acclimatise and gradually be introduced into the fold - but he strikes me as a strong personality, one that won't need to be wrapped up in cotton wool. He's built for the EPL. And with Wilson still struggling for composure, the sooner the better.

So, here's the crux of it.

The main hole to be plugged should have been upfront. There is nothing wrong with what we've got (opinions will vary on this from one fan to the next) but we could have really looked to make an impact with something fresh and new. Robbie Keane is spent at Spurs. Although if he's stuck with us until Christmas, he might get the opportunity to shut a few mouths by reclaiming some past form in Lilywhite. Pav (did he reject a move to Anfield?) remains an in-betweener. Sort of okay, sort of not. But he still scores but can sometimes appear to do very little else (Darren Bent anyone?). Crouch is important, as proven last season and this early this term too. And Defoe, for all his minor faults, will always score goals for us. Again, as witnessed last season.

But had we got hold of a brand spanking new forward, someone who could have offered a new dimension to our play, then we'd have been near enough complete. In the eyes of our manager. What with us quite blatantly going after Bellamy. It's an area he knows needs improving.

So no new striker. And to be honest, I'd rather not if there was no viable option for us. Although my argument would be - where are the scouts? We plucked Berbatov from the Bundesliga. Are we to believe that every potential new superstar forward out there is not only known to all, but also demanding excessive wages? Perhaps the risk here was too much. Hence the Bellamy chase.

And there is a distinct lack of targets at home. Babel? On his was to Upton Park in a helicopter apparently, but didn't fancy it, although we (according to Harry) were interested, but didn't get anywhere near discussing a deal. All very meh. Half-arsed. Potential panic buy. But then football is made up of last gasp signings (did we not fail in our bid to sign Ricketts and eventually end up with Keane?)

The Parker Saga is one of much confusion. West Ham friend says he's hardly an update on Palacios and wouldn't offer Spurs as much as he offers WH, because at WH the player is so much better than the ones who line-up alongside him. But then in Harry we trust, and we've all seen players leave one club to turn it on for another, and prove people wrong. How exactly and where exactly was he meant to fit in, I don't know.

Nobody has actually left us, from the list of players tagged with the deadwood label. We can't argue that we don't retain depth, probably too much now. No reserve team for the fringe first team squad players to run around and kick a ball in. So our gaffers man-management skills will be worked over-time. Still, I expect plenty of activity with departures come Jan 2011.

So what exactly was our strategy with consolidation and squad improvement?

The conclusion of the crux is that once more, deadline transfer day proves that when you fail to sign the players you actually wanted in the weeks/months leading up to the 6pm deadline - you just hope for some form of luck or inspired out-of-the-hat unplanned signing, not to appease anyone or just for the sake of it - but end up with something unexpected, which is too good to turn down because it will work in our favour, and do so wonderfully well. One new player at the Lodge, several new options on the field of play.

Rafael van der Vaart. Out of the blue.

Well actually, out of the white storm of Real Madrid. 6pm deadline gone, but since around 4pm on the day, we were attempting to fix up the transfer and get all paper work sorted to beat the clock to sign the player up.

Had we not gone in for him, we'd be all pretty much dejected that nothing much happened on a day of untold expectations. Apparently  it was a loan deal initially, then a transfer, although the other suggestion is he was on his way to Munich for £18M (denied by Real Madrid) and that he was then available for just £8M. Levy told Harry, Levy asked Harry if he fancied it. Harry said yes.

Some of you might ask - why? Is it because of the quality on offer, for so little? Did Harry stop to think where and how he would play VdV in our line-up? Would signing the player have a detrimental effect on other players in our squad and their status? Is there a list Levy has drawn up of potential players we'd be interested in if they are suddenly available (not the first time we've flirted with players from Real - so perhaps they've kept in contact with us and vice versa) and Rafael was on that list?

I doubt very much we'd buy a player and not actually consider the impact on first team selection. VdV in the hole behind the forward(s)? On the left hand side (as played by Madrid before Ronaldo was signed)? I hope Harry plans to put his arms around Niko and give him a massive reassuring hug.

We have ridiculous options in central and midfield attacking positions now. VdV is the type of player who can bring some dynamicism to our play. And set-pieces. We have an abundance of creativity of differing guises. The craft and dinking runs of Modric, the beastly power yet sublime touch of Bale, the majesty of Huddlestone's long range to feet passing and disguised angled balls, the speed and tricksy twisting and turning of Lennon and now the technical guile and the versatility of VdV. 4-5-1 would be sweet, but we don't quite have a lone man striker good enough to slot into that spearhead position.

We're not short with other backups. We've got box to box midfielder Jenas. Ball in a skip Bentley. And Jamie Tenacity O'Hara. Hell, dos Santos might even turn into more than just a wildcard this season.

DM wise, you'd think with Sandro and Wilson (if he recovers from his current fragmented play and loss of confidence) we are fixed up. Harry has to sort out the Palacios conundrum because if we're going to hold down our place in the Champions League, we need him to regain the form he possessed when we first signed him. No good having superb footballers if we haven't got a protector screaming you shall not pass at opposing players, standing firm behind them.

It's now up to the front men to find that ruthless streak. One player short of the perfect deadline transfer day. But considering the lack of activity at certain other clubs, I'm not half as disappointed as I should be. We've ended up with a game-changer, perhaps even a talismanic one (something I've banged on about all summer long).

Is he world class? For a long time he was all hype, plenty of promise, but little fulfilment. The defintive under-achiever. But there is no doubt he has allowed his quality to shine through in recent seasons. He's worked hard at it. This will work out just fine.

Can you imagine the carnage we'd have dished out to the EPL had we also got hold of a Fabiano?

Actually don't. Dreaming is so circa 2006.



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63.02%, triffic

What with real life getting in the way, I've not quite done a match report on the Young Boys game and our safe passage through to the CL proper. So, here's some belated bits and pieces and some post-match commentary.

The performance (4-0)

Wasn't vintage Spurs by a long shot but there was no necessity for anything more than what was given. We did enough, and enough was more than enough. We all know that deep down we have a deficiency as fans to think of the worst case scenario. It's a defensive mechanism to aid in appeasing any potential disaster, but it's also something that has engulfed our match-day psyche. Plenty of people thought they might nick an away goal. I thought we might be in for a tough night. In the end, the true difference in class was more than evident. They were hardly the plastic fantastics of the first game.

We might not have been 100mph or swash-buckled our way through them in the pouring rain, but we were professional. Rode our luck (Defoe goal) and just got it done. There were pockets of tension thanks to the sheer importance of getting through, for the first time ever, which meant it was all a bit tense until the fourth goal went in.

Good solid performance. Happy days. Soz to all the trolls. You can now move onto your 'you're gonna get smashed in the group stages' one-liner.

Huddlestone

Anyone still got doubts on this one? He was superb. Is superb. We all know he can pass and now we are seeing him take control and dictate. For all his lack of mobility, his intelligent moving (off the ball) makes up for the lack of pace. And he's only a youngster. We have ourselves a giant, one that can sit in the middle of midfield and ping balls out to the wings without even having to look up, retaining possession when required (although he has to be careful with spending too much time caressing the ball). His technique is sublime and there is evidence that although his weakness with defensive duties has been a bugbear in the past, he's displaying far more composure and positional awareness. Which can only help the team when under pressure. European football will suit him just dandy.

Defoe

I love this guy. He's not perfect. The way he flirts with the offside trap does my head in, but he's a pure finisher. What he has to add to his game (which is going to be difficult considering how instinctive he is) can be illustrated by what should have been the 3rd goal. He missed the target when it was easier to lay the ball off to Crouch or Palacios. Against top drawer opposition, we might not get an abundance of chances. So cool head please Jermain.

Bale

I heart you Gareth. You, your barnet, your marauding runs down the wing. Your confidence and belief that you can beat a man. Your class technique and touch, the way you smash past the opposition. And the fact that you can have a fairly average quiet game in terms of lacking beastly front-line destruction, but still get four assists. Bale v Maicon? I'm positively drooling.

Crouch

Our current much maligned forward, because he's not prolific. Not sure why there's persistent stories linking him with moves to Stoke and Everton when Peter appears to be that awkward styled option that will cause one or two defensive problems for our CL opposition. He's going to score a few for us in Europe. Harry loves him. I can't see him leaving.

BAE

A&E. Not actually heard anyone call him this at Tottenham or anywhere else other than in the comments section of this blog and on one or two other blogs. He's meant to be reckless. A bit maverick with his positioning. And yet, all I see is continued improvement. He's got a bite about his play. We don't need to fret about this position.

Palacios

Hasn't regained his form, has games where he's on top of it and then several games where there is a distinct lack of concentration. Not sure what the answer is here. Sandro will gradually be introduced and there are whispers (as ever) of potentially signing another midfield for further depth for the games ahead. Wilson might end up being marginalised because of the competition, and his confidence continue to degrade. Harry needs to hug him harder. To me, he still looks like he's hurting, and to be honest, I don't blame him. But if he's detrimental to the side, then we've got to make the sacrifice and get him fixed up. On form, he's a revelation for us. At the moment, he's a risk.

Gomes

Nutter. I know he was probably genuinely injured the other night (pulled out of the Brazil squad), but f**king 'ell, how soft is he? I was actually pleasantly surprised he didn't start crying when Harry waved him to stay on the pitch. Looked like Harry was more annoyed than anything.

The Champions League Draw

Group A
Inter Milan, Werder Bremen, Tottenham, FC Twente.

Happy? Can't say there's an easy group at this stage. I mean come on, this is the premier competition in world club football. And what's the point in wanting to avoid certain teams? Arguably, its not a sexy group we could have got. It's not quite as glamorous as facing the White Storm or Barca and you could also argue that as a spectacle, playing Inter might be a touch overly defensive (on their part) but, who cares. This is what it's all about. We've got a chance. Can't wait to see how we get on and how Harry intends to compete against Rafa and his inherited champions of Europe.

So, can we now play the kids in the Carling Cup?

Transfer 'targets' and Redknappology

I don't think Harry is about to come out and say who we might be after or how close we are. It's all a bit messy what with him telling us we need 3 players to challenge (a few weeks back) to now saying we don't need to improve the squad. It's all part of the game, but its one of many contradictions. But what does it matter, as the stories that get printed never seem to refer back to any original statements any ways, so with every day, it's something new when in fact its something old and re-churned.

Of course we want to improve the squad. Consolidation is now imperative. Just no need for any massive massive changes. Two new arrivals is more than likely. I've got my fingers crossed for a major signing 'upfront' which will also involve the departure of Robbie Keane. Quite an obvious prediction there, but its one that sits well with me at the moment.

Harry Redknapp

The 4-0 win was Harry's 50th with Spurs, 96 matches into his THFC tenure.

P96 W50 - D21 - L25 - F163 - A103

Winning Percentage: 52% Overall Record: 63.02%

Triffic.

Forward thinking the only way

It's the calm before the storm, right? Reading the tabloids, watching Sky Sports News or trying to decipher the cryptic inside knowledge from the 'In the Know' community is proving to be as enjoyable as an England World Cup performance. That's not very enjoyable. Pockets of my brain are haemorrhaging from the boredom. It's not exactly exciting, but then arguably, there is no Klinsmann type of signing out there in these rather lacklustre modern days. And no yoof either, it would seem as the kids with potential prefer to completely bypass the stepping stone clubs* and move straight into the elite. Surely there's a younger version of Berbatov out there? Well, one that won't want to move on a season later. If that's okay. Not asking for much here, just some hunger and loyalty.

*What's that? We're not a stepping stone club anyone?

I'm half jesting. We signed Modric a couple of years back, so there is plenty of hope, no doubt festering in the shadows ready to jump out and scream in our face when the time is right. Marquee signings are over-rated anyways.

Obviously, we as football fans, are selfish creatures we simply want want want, all of the time. And we want NOW.

We shift around uncomfortably like Gollum, obsessed with every single comment or alleged movement or sound-bite made, moaning and sighing.  And then analysing and theorising how said player would fit into our first eleven if signed and whether they will aid our progression. All of this from a couple of newspaper articles, hearsay, guess work, agent talk. It's the scraps we feed on because, usually, one of the scraps out of the many turns out to be a genuine link.

Gollum to be signed by ITV soon.

We've had very little this summer that we could possibly tag in the 'Levy and Harry were seriously looking at spending cash there' bracket. Joe Cole being the obvious one thanks to Harry telling us that we had offered him a contract. No massive surprise there. We knew the moment he became available that HR would want one of his former 'sons' on board the THFC Express.

Cole rejected a continued stay in London and opted for a central midfield role up at Liverpool, something Harry did nod towards when he flirted with Cole via the media (saying Cole's best position is central). How that would have worked out for us - I don't know. And if 'football reasons' means guaranteed first team football, then so be it. I'm not crying my eyes out over here. And regardless of Liverpool's current plight (it's a mess at Anfield no matter how their fans wish to dress up the truth) there is opportunity for Cole to shine there.

Good player is Cole on his day, and would have been a diamond signing if he arrived and accepted a little squad rotation. Whether the Chelsea fans prove to be right (Joe Slow according to them), we'll have to tune into the Hodgson Show to find out. 90k a week is a lot of money for a player who has hardly played in recent seasons thanks to injuries. I'd have accepted the risk if he had agreed our alleged 65k. And marginalising the likes of Huddlestone would have been just plain silly just for the sake of beefing up a position we don't have too much trouble with.

(Although a free-scoring midfielder would be nice, but don't think it's essential - at least not to Harry).

Still, this area (central mid or even left mid) is not the area we should be concerned about. I doubt very much both our gaffer and our manager are ignoring say the following must-haves:

- Another CB (because King and Woody are bit-part players for us, the latter someone who might not even return) for cover (Bassong and Dawson are in for another big season)

- A Forward

We've got Sandro on the way. We've got players who can adapt and play two positions (Modric, Bale) and we've got one or two who perhaps might just get an opportunity (dos Santos and dare I say The Rat).

But some of this will depend on who we finally get rid of, because with the new season approaching, we've yet to see the back of the deadwood.

Deadwood, is defined I guess by last season and personal opinion along with once more reading between the line. Keane. Hutton - are two players probably on their way. Pav is always linked with a departure.

It all comes down to this: Who and when we sign a forward. We can dream about one of the new kids on the block as much as we like (Dzeko, Suarez) or others of the ilk of long-term proven players like Fabiano and Raul (LOL). But might well end up with seasoned English based terrier such as Bellamy. Who happens to be a **** of a player. If he wasn't so injury prone (if I'm wrong, show me the stats, ta) then perhaps I'd swallow my pride and sort of half-admit and say 'okay then, he might be able to do a job for us'. But he does pick up knocks and although his off-the-field charity work is very commendable, his general persona in the dressing room is subject to far too much debate. Harry and him on the golf course? Happy days. Bellamy would show some tenacious bite we sometimes, on occasions bite. But then who knows what type of focus he'll have if he moves to N17. It's a risk. Cheap one probably. But still.

It's fairly imperative we get the signing for the forward position spot on. Someone who can hit the ground running, score and create. What? Did you say Bellamy? Oh ffs. Anyways, whether a Suarez could do that is altogether another discussion. 49 goals in the Dutch League means very little to me. No offence to them over there, but Kuyt was knocking in goals for fun and over here he's a defensive forward.

We do need a striker right? Defoe, Crouch, Pav...that's not enough. Keane staying would surprise me about us much as walking into my bedroom to find Jessica Alba there with the words 'I'm all yours' written across her waist in lip stick. And the three we do have, to expect them to handle the League and the CL and the cups? Nah. We need depth. Need quality. Because if we make the CL group stages, we need someone who can unlock those hefty seasoned doors. Otherwise, it's Defoe getting flagged offside all night long on Sky Sports.

So, as far as being all quiet on the transfer front, I don't care too much as long as we get a couple of tasty press conferences in the next few weeks. The papers can continue to link us to everyone and anyone, as long as the end result is more pieces for our Lilywhite jigsaw puzzle. The right pieces.

But even with everyone being so cautious nowadays, you'd think it would be near suicidal NOT to spend well this transfer window. What with the potentially hectic calender year ahead of us. Key game being that qualifier.

How many times around Christmas time have we wanted to see us sign players to consolidate our position and push forward only to be left disappointed? Then again, perhaps more trust for the gaffer is required. Considering what he achieved last season without the need to go loopy with Levy's transfer fund at that critical mid-way point.

In Harry we trust then. Right?

How much does a Bentley cost?

So apparently, Daniel Levy does not envisage the club being very active cometh the Jan transfer window, although he suggests that if opportunities arise we'll take note - but shouldn't expect any net spending. And to dizzy up the quotes further he's reassured Harry that there will be no disruption to the core team. To quote Mr Chairman:

"Having a settled squad gives us the best chance for consistency. We are striving for top-level displays, including the ability to take on and beat the so-called top four teams."

I'm thankful we have proven top 4 players like Robbie Keane in the squad. And Gerrardesque midfielders such as Jenas box to boxing their way up and down the pitch, when he's not sitting on the bench watching Huddlestone do the same thing. Well, not do the same thing pound-for-pound. Hudd has no need for speed. He lets the ball do all the running. Mobility is for people with no footballing brain. But midfield semantics aside, we're good to go. We've got a back four unit, robust and sturdy, a mixture of youth and experience. Mostly youth at the moment. And we have cover for our midfield enforcer. He's at Pompey, but should be back with us in no time. We've got no true cover for our little wing wizard, but that's fine, because he won't get injured. And as for our forward line-up (did I mention Robbie Keane?) we've got the master of scoring goals in bursts and breaking the offside trap (Defoe) and the perfect foil (Crouch) when our players forget tactics and resort to hoofing the ball. And let's not be forgetting the soon-to-be-back-in-Lilywhite, Luka Modric. Who I guess in essence will be akin to a brand spanking new signing. Maybe we could have a press conference and pretend we've just signed him to make up for the despondency that there will not be a £15M transfer splurge on new blood when 2010 tick tocks into our lives.

Consistency equates to beating the so-called top four teams. Who are so-called top four because they finish in the top four positions. I made that connection all on my own. And we've had consistency this season, be it with missing players (due to injuries) and an ever-changing back-four line-up and erratic forwards which has given us a consistent set of results. 3-1, 3-0, 3-0. Zero points. Against three of the top four. The other one doesn't count because everyone is beating them.

So enjoy your Christmas presents because we wont be unwrapping too much in the way of surprises when the window reopens. Other than Sandro. Because Harry mentioned we're interested and the chairman is working towards a deal. Oh, and we're going to need to add a little in the way of depth when replacing Roman Pavlyuchenko and David Bentley. They're not core players. We hardly ever play them. And they're not very good. And for the sake of avoiding egg on face (or perhaps managing to wipe away the egg currently on face) the club will need to recover something from their self-pitying stays in N17. And we all know Bentley is a certainty to go after his show-boating antics in a Spurs friendly game that infuriated Harry. You'll have seen it doing the rounds today. A few days after the story was posted and shared in various message boards. You know the one. The one where Harry tells David he's going to get rid of him. DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM-DA-DADUM.

Let's hope we get a good price for a cluttered Bentley with a dodgy engine and hanging fuzzy dice.

I can't keep this up anymore.

There is no story here. We've obviously not got bundles of cash to spunk wastefully on players. Mainly because we've already spunked it. On wasteful players. We're letting people know indirectly (directly) we have no intention of over-spending (breaking a habit of a life-time here).

The main backbone of the side is good enough to sustain some sort of challenge. As good a challenge that a club like Spurs (non-Champions League and non-Sheik owned)  can prepare for. It's the meat around the bones that needs beefing up. And it's guaranteed that anybody who is deemed malignant will be removed with swift and necessary surgery.

The money will be there to spend once we streamline the squad, we just don't need to be mentalists about it. A defensive midfielder is needed (Sandro the obvious target). A centre-back (long-term solution to the Ledley King conundrum) should also be discussed in-house. Unless you think a back four of BAE - Bassong - Dawson - Corluka will work without a commanding, leading presence to guide them (Daws is 26 years old, but lacks sustained experience). Perhaps a goalkeeper too. For cover, nothing more. Other solutions will involve development rather than throwing money at it to make it work (i.e. Bale - is he a left-back or a left-midfielder and can he cover BAE's absence when he leaves for the African Nations Cup?).

The backbone of the side will suffer no major trauma (which means key players - yes, Robbie Keane is a key player) will stay put. So it's not exactly breaking news that selling to buy is going to be the tactic here. And that there is no need for massive massive signings.

If you think back to 2006, what we failed to do is bulk up in Jan (didn’t we sign Ghaly?) and had we, we might well have wrapped up 4th spot long before the saboteur broke into the hotel and coughed germs all over the players soon to be eaten dinner. Levy knows already (thanks to Harry's complaints a while back about the lack of midfield depth) that we need consolidation in that area. Ignoring Robbie Keane's shout-out about how strong our bench is, we all know the reality is rather different. We don’t have enough in reserve.

Expect a post-Christmas cracker. We'll sign what we need, nothing more, nothing less and then it's all down to the manager and the players to believe and work hard. Qualities that might prove to be priceless in the long run.

Transfer shenanigans

Sabastien Bassong to Spurs. Medical passed. Only a matter of time. £8M for a relegated defender. Look away now if stats scare you. Newcastle were better off without him in the side as they lost more and conceded more when he played. Add to it his record at Metz before signing for the Toon (22 games, Metz lost 14, drew 7and won 1 – two of those draws were achieve whilst Bassong went off injured due to injury). But we all know stats are misleading. Look at Darren Bent, great scoring ratio, but you won’t find a player more maligned. Bassong stood out in a very poor team, that mostly failed to match his determination. But at the same time, an inanimate carbon rod would have looked good playing for Newcastle last season.

We need a centre-back desperately. Woody is going to be out for a fair bit of time and Daws won’t be available for several weeks. However Bassong will miss the opening game of the season due to a red card offence from last term, so let’s pray King is fit for the big kick-off. Not sure where he fits in once everyone is fit and able to play. He must have been given some assurances over selection, so will be interesting to see what we do with Dawson once he’s available. May well be the case that Woody is out long term and with King’s troubles, there will be plenty of games available for the three of them to get along just fine.

Still, £8M? Wondering how good a prospect Beevers is at Sheffield Wednesday – who wouldn’t cost too much in comparison. Bassong may well prove to be a great signing for us. The stats I quoted above (and the ones SSN are displaying every half and hour) can be ignored. We all know that if you are a decent player surrounded by utter shit, you’re bound to suffer a little, mainly because your team-mates are not on the same level and can't offer support, so you end up having to do more than you should be doing.

£15M Rod bid rejected

We’ve had some defenders here at Spurs go through the same type of thing. King survived it. Gardner didn’t. Still, as discussed several times on this blog and currently cited in one or two message board threads – why does our scouting system not pick up players that would cost a fraction of the £8M? There must be plenty of undiscovered talents out there. We seem to do well picking up academy players and youth players – but when we want to fill a gap in the first team squad, we always go for the obvious.

Still, welcome to the Lane Sabastien. Good luck lad.

-

Darren’s a Sunderland player now and he looks rather happy, and as expect he fired a very subtle dig at Spurs (I’ve seen his interview and he isn’t resentful in an obvious way and good luck to him). His dig concerned what goes on behind closed doors:

'There is a lot of politics at Tottenham, but that's Tottenham as a club’

Basically, Bent never believed he would start the next game even if he scored in the previous one. My guess? Probably has to do with Robbie ‘undroppable’ Keane. Rumours of the Irish windmill having a little clause in his contract. I'm sure this myth will be dis-spelled cometh the new season. Unless that's the reason Robbie isn't too happy at the moment. I'll stop now before I drown myself in ITK whispers.

-

Talkng of which, a lovely piece of ITK information for you, this concerning Pascal Chimbonda (from rocknroll11 over at GG.co.uk):

Just wanted to put to bed all the random theories that are going round as to why we resigned Chimbo and what a pointless signing it is...

Sunderland never ever paid a penny for Chimbo, they were scheduled to pay after the first season. 6 months in he's obviously unhappy, missing the team bus, pissing off Keane etc... and 6 months in Harry's here thinking we lack a bit of steel and have a very small squad. Levy suggested we could get back Chimbo for nothing... so we went to Sunderland and said if you give him back we'll cancel the outstanding payment you own...

and that's what happened.

Lack of a bit of steel? Really? Still, it’s almost believable, although if true – I’m not sure anyone would have made any money out of the ‘transfer’ back to Spurs which is hard to believe considering the people involved.

-

And finally, the dream is over. Klass-Jan Huntelaar is off to AC Milan. Negredo is being linked with a move to Roma. Then again, so is Pav. And it’s all gone quiet on Sissoko. Perhaps having aided Madrid in creating interest for Huntelaar, they’re let us talk to a couple of their players.

Madhamadou Diarra anyone? Gosh, I’m dreaming again.

For the record, he’s not on Madrid’s transfer list. Neither is Gago (who some of you don't rate) but he's a far more likely target if we do plan to look that way.

We could still do with a midfielder. Don't think we're quite finished yet.

5 Reasons why we should sign Patrick Vieira

1) He possesses a wealth of experience and has a winning mentality.

2) It will murk the Arsenal fans to see an ex-player wearing our Lilywhite.

3) He will have a Davids effect, which will aid the squad on and off the pitch.

4) Has great technique and leadership skills.

5) Bargain signing for free.

That didn't feel quite right. Need to clear my head. Stick my finger down my throat.

Ok. Let's try this again.

5 Reasons why we should never sign Patrick Vieira

1) He's old. 5 years past his prime and discarded by them lot over there years back because Wenger knew the player was in decline. Has shown little in recent seasons to suggest he can have any kind of impact back in England. The fact he has won silverware and has done it whilst festering in the swamps of Highbury only tells me that his personal ambitions can not exactly be sitting high up in his list of priorities, let alone the ones Spurs have as a club looking to step up. And forgive me for being a traditionalist, but I'd much prefer a squad without him than one with him in it with the winning (dirty, cheating) mentality of an ex-gooner who got mentally battered by Roy Keane.

2) Signing an ex-Arsenal player who has struggled with injuries in the slow-paced Italian league and hardly played a full season for years will not murk a single gooner off as far as the rivalry with us is concerned. Sure, they would be angry to see one of their own - unquestionably a legend for them and a player that epitomises everything about their club (cheat, scum, insufferable personality) - wear our colours, but it will simply incite laughter to see us turn to a has-been as some form of inspiration to help us move forward. This is not like bringing Bentley or O'Hara to the Lane. Vieira is an ex-Arsenal captain and it's not like he's fucking them over and joining us in his prime now, is he?

3) The Davids effect? What, you mean piss off team-mates and get into punch-ups with younger players? Davids did some good at the club, but it's a fallacy to believe he was solely responsible in the way of a major uplift of form for the side. Watching videos of Dave Mackay would be more uplifting than having a player that has not a single quark of Tottenham in him pretend he cares about the success of the teams progress. Want to aid the team off and on the pitch? Sign a CM who is 24-27 years of age and can play as back-up to Palacios who will no doubt serve a ban or two for yellow cards during the season, which will leave us with a massive hole in central midfield if we don't have a proper understudy on the bench.

4) Great technique is something he possessed 5-6 years ago when playing in the fast paced Premier League. And you can still have great technique half a decade on and it can even make make you look good when you're playing in Serie A where you have plenty of time to light up a cigar and Twitter about the step-over you're about to do. Bring it back to the 1000mph hellmouth that is the EPL and you'll find yourself in a little spot of bother. A bit like Mr Magoo walking down a street in Pamplona during the Running of the Bulls festival. As for leadership skills, sure, he can lead himself downwards to the ground allowing gravity to embrace his falling body and hug the grass as he claims for a foul when one was not committed. Although I expect his ancient legs will give way to injury and be the main catalyst for further adventures on the turfs of England. Great leadership skills there. It's the missing link in our quest for turning us into contenders.

5) If you want something for free, then wait for the start of the season when no doubt we'll be treated to more raffle prizes at half-time when the club give away yet another Opus. £5M - £10M will get us a younger, hungrier battling midfielder with his whole career in front of him rather than behind him. The transfer market might be an over-bloated joke at the moment with any target we'd love being snapped up by the likes of City, but please let's not pretend there are no options out there. Christ, I'm almost missing Comolli. There, I said it out loud. He might have ballsed it up around 90% of the time with some of his inflated over-rated signings but at least he…actually, who am I kidding? He was crap. And I don't miss him. Even though someone without sight could have scouted Wilson Palacios as a must-have for the Spurs midfield I'm sure there are other players - in England and abroad - we can take a gamble on. We have scouts, right? We have You Tube, right?

Levy, Harry…don't force me into burning bagels outside the ground again. The hypocrisy hurts.

Never red. COYS.

Modric, stuck out on the left...

Are we going to sign a left-winger? Young? Downing? Anyone? It's the quest that never ends, usually because we are never looking, and it's a question that gets repeated over and over again and with each passing transfer window we are left empty handed and confused.

The only reason I care to mention this is because of Luka Modric. And the little matter of our midfield. At the moment he dinks in, drifts around at his heart's content, conducting play and creating havoc. All from the left-wing. I discussed this at length - click here to read it - and the conundrum was simply whether our Croatian wizard was better suited in the middle.

With Palacios now commanding the centre park, the protection is in place for Luka to slot into a more natural position for a player with his abilities. But there is no indication of what Harry is planning other than a complaint about Man City 'moving the goal posts' and being able to outbid everyone around them citing Barry and Santa Cruz - indicating we were interested in both. Which means we are still looking to bring in two players of similar ilk. Ignore his comments relating to not bothering to strengthing the side if we can't find players that would improve us (Harry mind games):

"I have spoken to the chairman Daniel Levy and we've decided if we can't get players who will improve the team we're not going to bother. We've already got a decent squad, many of whom are going to get better. But we recognise we have to improve"

Not a chance he won't get involved in some dealings.

a) Because he's Harry Redknapp

b) Because we DO need to strengthen the squad

A CM and a number 9 type of forward player are the current targets based on Harrys comments (if you read between the lines, and I know I might be reading way too much into it). He also mentions Glen Johnson, so it's possible we are also looking at the right-back position too. You know, because, we need one of them due to the lack of depth in that area of the squad since Pascal Chimbonda was involved in a training ground accident involving a tear in the space time continuum that sucked him into a worm hole.

Now I know I'm basing all this around the obvious and there is no clear indication, but I hope (and pray) we don't simply sign players just because they are available (regardless of their hype) and that we sign players that we need because they WILL improve the side.

Barry would have completed our midfield. Santa Cruz, I'm not too sure about. So maybe I've got that one wrong. All irrelevant now anyway.

Signing Barry would have meant Modric remaining on the left-hand side. If we do sign another CM, it's possible that the player will be a back-up (with Zokora on his way out). Whatever happened to the Scott Brown rumours? We've also been linked to several La Liga based midfielders in recent weeks, but it's all speculation - our tabloids repeating what their tabloids are saying. If we sign a major player for the CM role, then Luka will no doubt remain drifting in from the left. There is no real clarity and definitive ideology of selection based on the transfer rumours. But then I wouldn't expect that to be the case.

Not a clue about the 'number 9' - and whether we end up with a tricky goal-scorer or a tall/big/strong Crouchesque player. If we do sign another forward, then the Keane/Defoe issue will no doubt resurface.

And back to the left-sided question. Downing is injured and I'm not sure when he'll be back to full fitness - so signing him would still mean we begin the season with no left-winger. Anyone would think there's a shortage of wingers. It's gone quiet everywhere. Ashley Young too.

I guess one thing to be completely positive about is that we are not rushing into making any signings. Whether this is because we are waiting to sell players (or swap them) or because we are biding our time to find the right (left) type of player to bring to the club - it gives me the impression we are a little more calculating this term, than in previous seasons.

Either that or the transfer window is in a state of reverse flux, with clubs nervous about spending too much on the wrong player.

Until we make a signing, we won't know where Moddle will be starting. But at least he'll be starting in Lilywhite.

What are we meant to do with Mr David Bentley?

Click on the following hyperlinks for Part I and Part II.

Tapestry Part III

What are we meant to do with Mr David Bentley?

Dear Mr Levy,

David Bentley is typical of this creed that blights us with each passing season. On paper he looks the part. England's new hope for the right-wing. Good looking, so he must be as good as David Beckham because no one with a face like that could possibly be shit. He's the 'it' player of the moment. And we need a big name signing, so let's just go out and sign a right-winger because we don't actually need one having Lennon there already, but who cares, it's too much of a bargain at £15M to turn down. Let's sign him and hope he can somehow fit in to whatever system the coach decides to play.

We are then treated to some tidy goals pre-season but a run of two points from eight games turns all our players into fragile pathetic apologetic losers.

Are they playing badly because they have no confidence?
Are they playing badly because they have no confidence in the manager?
Are they playing badly because they are a team of individuals that don't quite gel together as a unit?
Are they playing badly because they are prima donna millionaires who just can't be arsed?

If it was a confidence issue that progressively got worse with each passing game thanks to Ramos inability to fashion some form of consistency and style, then why did some of our players (most of them in fact) climb out of the depths of despair and reclaim some self-pride when Harry arrived? Bentley, momentarily, did so with That Goal©. You know the one. From the half way line. He flicked it and hit it. 40 odd yards out. Flew through the sky like a squirrel with a rocket up its bum, and come down over Almunia and into the goal. It was Beckhamesque. From the half line. It’s on youtube. If you haven't seen it.

Since that giddy high, we've had very little. Plenty of Hollywood flicks and showboats. Everything that ought to be a simple pass turns into 'OH GOSH, THE CAMERA IS ON ME, LET ME DO SOMETHING A £15M WOULD DO. LOOK MA, I'M ON TOP OF THE WORLD!' instead of just, well, passing the sodding thing to the player that wants the ball.

It's not quite Neo in the Matrix. More Kev on the Hackney Marshes.

Tragic decline, witnessing a player who was so proud to sign for us and ecstatic he made the move down south to disappear into mediocrity with the rest of the team but then fail to re-emerge, rejuvenated.

Personal problems were cited. Hmm.

Play football for a living. Check.
Train two or three times per week. Check.
Millionaire. Check.
Good looking. Check.

Ok, so I'm making assumptions that just because someone is a millionaire footballer, then all is well. Something is obviously deeply wrong. Was it the transfer fee? Was it the bad start? Was it the fact that Redknapp managed to get the best out of BAE and nurse Lennon back to his blistering best, but couldn't quite work his magic with Bentley?

Surely a quiet word would have done the trick.

"David, just do the simple things lad. Don't try and do the impossible with every touch. Play for the team"

It obviously didn't work even though Harry persisted with playing him. The he was dropped. And injured. And playing for the reserves. And now on the bench. And Harry is hinting that the lad might leave because he can't get into the team because Harry is happy with his current selection. Keane played on Saturday. Bentley didn't.

And there we have it. In modern day football there is no room for patience. You'd think that Bentley - regardless of the transfer fee - has qualities that any top side would want in their squad. And David himself must surely want to stay on because this was his boyhood dream club move, no? To leave when you've told everyone that personal problems have been the reason for your lack of form means you haven’t been able to give it 100% and thus owe the club and the fans. And as for the club, having forked out £15M, surely that warrants a little more time to see if the investment was worth it. Unless of course there is no reason to keep a player that can only play one position and won't play in that position much if Lennon is fit.

Once more Mr Levy, this illustrates the superfluous Tottenham transfer policy that has hindered us far too often. Yes, we are a club steeped in prestigious tradition when it comes to individual flair players. We've had an abundance of them. And talking of tradition we do love a big name signing. But 10, 15 years of very little league success (only two 5th spot finishes) proves that we don't always have to buy the obvious 'must have' players just to keep up appearances on the back pages.

Bentley was not required. And yet we bought him. And I can't help but think we bought him because we had lost Keane to Liverpool and needed a flashy pick-me-up. Either that or Ramos/Comolli had written off lickle Lennon altogether. Either way - shambolic management. Yes, we're rich. But we don't have to spunk it like Peter North in a harem.

The lad seems genuine enough. And maybe he's lack of form is because of that woeful start we made, followed by the form of Lennon. Which would point to the frailties of his character. Have we signed a fragile 'must be wrapped up in cotton wool' type of player who needs hugs and bedtime stories and must be covered with the duvet so that the booger-booger man under the bed doesn't come out at night and scare him?

Maybe we'll get more 'up for it' type of bullish gritty players with Redknapp rather than the glossy cover-boy powder-puffs. But I do hate to knee-jerk. I hope he stays. I hope he tells Harry he wants to fight for his place, even if it means more time on the bench. If he asks to leave, then so be it. So much for him being a Spurs fan. But if he goes because Harry wants the extra cash in the bank, then let this be the end to superfluous signings.

You say Daniel, that you don't know your football - hence the need for a DoF. I'm sure you know enough to question the validity of £15M+ signings for players that are not a nailed on necessity. Either you are too trustworthy of the people that work below you or your thinking at times sits with merchandising and club profile ethics.

Harry has got through the first stage of rebuilding, the foundation is set. Just make sure that we don't waste our money on a conservatory or an attic conversion when all that's needed is a few cracks in the wall to be plastered over.

Thank God we don't have cowboy builders.

Cough.

Sorry, clearing throat.

Regards,

S

Slight change of plans, as the creative juices are flowing. Extended the series by one. So up next:

Part IV - Jenas (which is written, but I wont publish until tomorrow morning)

And then

Part V - Redknapp

Ta.

The aftermath of the Berbatov Saga

If you missed the introductory first part, you can read it here.

Tapestry Part II

The Aftermath of the Berbatov Saga

Dear Mr Levy,

When people throw superlatives around concerning our bank balance, the re-development of the proposed new stadium and the consistent supply of top quality club DVD releases, I always respond in the same composed manner. I laugh, slap the naïve fool in the face, and state two words: Dimitar Berbatov.

Yes, yes. Old news. Been here before. Blah blah. But this serves a purpose as a stern reminder that there is simply no excuse for a repeat showing this summer.

The Bulgarian was the catalyst in the downfall of Martin Jol and in no uncertain terms the protagonist that helped aid your misguided stand against Ferguson and Manchester United which proved to be several nails in the coffin of Juande Ramos. Berbatov was a year into his 'I want to leave and join Man Utd' sulk, and rather than just sell him the second the season ended, you built a moat around White Hart Lane to warn off attacks that was about an inch deep. There was simply no defence in place for the prolonged attack that followed, which was more cold war than in the trenches. All Ferguson did was wait until the final day of the window, when you inexplicably accepted a transfer bid from Manchester City which was Berbatov's passport to fly up to Old Trafford. Which he did. Illegally or not, the player agreed terms with United. You know this. We all know this. Which meant that you either had to reject Utd's bid to spite Utd and Berbatov - and then deal with the consequences of a player that doesn't want to be at the club or you accepted it but only if they topped it up by an extra few million quid.

So in the end, we sold him to the team that had spent an age tapping him up, even though arguably, he had already made up his mind a season into his Spurs contract that he wanted to leave, sacked Martin Jol, put up with Berbatov's continued sulks/strikes/mood swings, then sell him to Utd in a last gasp deal in the final moments before the window closed. And for what exactly? £5M more than United wanted to pay?

Then followed your assault on the injustice of it all, with a threat here and a PR letter there. Placing aside your fit of rage over how things concluded, you topped it off by agreeing the signing of Frazier Campbell on loan. So, we lose our talisman. We don’t quite replace him. And then we get a youth player in as a replacement from the club that have just taken away the only world class player we had (at the time).

That's a little bit like finding out your supermodel girlfriend doesn't love you anymore, you then get dumped after a long bout of pretence that she won't leave as you fool yourself into believing you can make her stay even though she's made you look like a complete dick, and when she does finally leave her new boyfriend hands you a copy of Razzle and tells you, "You're be just fine with this mate".

Ferguson, mugged us off. And what did we do with the money? We re-signed Robbie Keane in the Jan window. Because there was no time left to replace the departing Bulgarian in the summer one. Prior to all this, we paid £14M for Roman Pavlyuchenko but wouldn't pay Zenit the £20M they wanted for Arshavin. Both having already played the best part of the Russian league season and the European Championships in the summer - there were obvious questions about what type of impact they would have. The Arshavin deal never went through, and thank God, because he looks really really uncomfortable out of position on the left for Arsenal. And as for Pav? He's scored a few, but he doesn't have the look of a world class player. It's like we've signed the Russian Bobby Zamora who keeps trying to re-enact the video to Radioheads Just. GET UP FROM THE FLOOR AND STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF FFS!

So, we end up with a strike-force of Bent, Pav and Campbell. We sign Bentley who is meant to supply the crosses for a target man, except we don't actually have anyone capable of fulfilling that role. And Bentley inexplicably forgets how to take a set-piece which renders him completely redundant unless confronted with a skip. Then in the January window we re-sign Defoe (Keane to follow) and have two players that have never quite worked playing up front together.

In the aftermath of the Berbatov saga, we are left weakened and desperate. Regardless of the self-inflicted implosion by Ramos regarding tactics and selection, we had three strikers that sort of came together by accident and ironically all three could well be departing this summer. Campbell back to Utd. Bent will be sold at a loss and how we plan to reclaim any of the £14M spent on Roman is going to be a hoot to watch.

Add to the mix David Bentley who hasn’t started a game for months, who seems to be superglued to the bench and has been cited by Harry as not really fitting into his team selection. Mark Hughes, got any spare change, guv? Anyone would think that if he played a certain amount of games we'd have to pay Blackburn more money. If Harry doesn’t fancy him, and he's sold on, then that's another transfer loss deficit. We've already re-signed Chimbonda that is arguably akin to taking out the rubbish and then bringing it back in again. It's fucking pointless. Leave it outside for Gods sake! It's where it belongs.

Daniel, we simply need to be spot on this summer. There is no Comolli. I'm sure there's still a scouting system in place. We all know Harry likes his random players with unpronounceable names, but he does strike gold more often than not. Bringing Defoe back was inspired, if obvious, and actually ridiculous all things considered. But it will work. Keane coming back was embarrassing for all concerned - him, Liverpool and us. He's tainted at the moment but will no doubt reclaim some of that intensity. Even his hand waving complaints seem limp wristed.

We need to reclaim some composure. More players like Wilson Palacios are required. Players that improve the side with immediate impact. No more soap opera dramatics and enforced donations to the Tottenham Foundation. There is no room for complacency. No room for unwanted back page headlines. Let the likes of City dominate the exclusives as they chase £100M players, while we pluck out quality that goes towards building a team rather than a set of individuals. We need to be direct and avoid long boring played out in the public domain transfer tussles. Get in there, sign them up for a competitive price, and sit there with a smug grin on your face when they repay us on the pitch.

And please, let's not be talking about 'The aftermath of the Modric saga' this time next year.

 

To follow in Parts II and IV:

• David Bentley, Jenas and The Opus
• Harry Redknapp

Regards,

S

Did the transfer window make you smile?

I was snowed in yesterday and worked from home. I did take a moment to venture outside. I like the crunchy sound snow makes when you walk around in it. I built a snowman. It stood proud in the garden for all of ten minutes before Harry Redknapp and Daniel Levy drove past and offered me £15M for my creation. I accepted. Apparently he's a perfect replacement for Jermaine Jenas in midfield because he won't melt as fast when the spot light is on him.

Aaaaaaaaaand, I thank you.

Robbie Keane is back, making a mockery of Liverpool, Tottenham’s transfer policy and Keane himself. Yes, I know. We never wanted to sell him in the first place. It’s not been a pretty transfer window, has it? Or has it?

Re-signing someone we sold has been the general trend that Levy and Redknapp have adhered to this month. Financially we’ve written off a lot of debt (and the £8M more we spent to bring back Jermain Defoe cancels out the £8M we got from Liverpool for our Irish loan deal star). The whole sorry state of the Keane affair rests with the politics at Anfield between Rick Parry and Rafa Benitez.

“You want Gareth Barry? He’ll cost us £18M. I'm not bidding £18M for Barry. Let’s sign Robbie Keane instead for £20M. What’s that? You don’t want Robbie Keane? Tough. He’ll have to do”

You can't blame Keane too much. Boyhood dreams are hard to ignore. The obvious downside is that we’ve not had him for the past six months and his form and confidence is shot. Although if we had of kept him in the summer, re-signing Jermain Defoe from Pompey might not have happened. Then again we probably would have signed Defoe regardless. Even though both players don’t exactly have the best working relationship on the pitch, it’s doubtful Harry would have ignored the opportunity even if it doesn't make logical sense. He'll have to work out this particular conundrum in 10 weeks from now.

Defoe picking up a nasty injury (which did not apparently exist prior to him signing for us and occurred during an indoor training session) has more or less forced us into re-signing Keane.

10 weeks without JD means we could not afford to place all hopes on just Pav and Bent. And that Utd kid. Whatshisface. Fact is, as ridiculous as this whole back and forth transfer merry-go-round is and the added risk that Keane might not be the same player he was when teamed up with Berbatov there was no better option out there for us. Better the devil you know. He's scored over 100 goals for us. He has that urgency we need and he’ll hit the ground running, probably with the aim to appease the Spurs fans that are uncertain about his return and more so Liverpool and Benitez for letting him go so soon.

He’s still eligible for a winners medal (under PL Rule 22c) so he won’t be able to play in the game up at Anfield on the final day of the season if Liverpool are still in with a chance to grab the title. Major conflict of interest. But it’s far more likely he will play as Utd will have been crowned champions long before that game. Let’s hope we don’t have to win there to stay up.

Liverpool fan at work was positively beaming this morning, telling me to ‘…have your crap back’. That's £8M worth of crap, thank you very much.

As for the fans that are banging on about how we should have signed Arshavin in the summer. Well yes, possibly but Zenit are an atrocious excuse for a football club when it comes to dealing with payments. And AA along with his agent have managed to whore themselves across Europe waving their knickers and flashing anyone who dares to look in such a shameless and embarrassing way that the positive hype has been drained out of the whole affair.

Arsenal have completed the longest drawn out panic buy in Premiership history. The player is joining the only club that showed an interest in him, he’s that desperate for a big money move. Not that Arsenal are a bad choice if playing in England is 'his dream' for the week. If he reignites their push for 4th spot he’ll be just as happy as Wenger who will be hailed a genius for such an intelligent purchase. Where he fits in once they have all their players back is anyone’s guess, but here’s hoping he flops and Arsenal finish 5th. You know, for a laugh.

The BBC get their knickers in a twist

Class player, complete mercenary. Not convinced he would have been right for us considering we have Modric in the side. It’s bad enough that Pav had 5 months of Russian football behind him when he signed for us and is still not 100% match fit IMO. Arshavin is a player that would need to be bedded in softly softly. Maybe if he was signed in the summer it would have worked out ok. Still, he’s meant to be shit hot right? How many clubs lined up for him? I’ll shut up now. If he plays on Sunday, he’ll probably dick us.

Elsewhere, we tried to offload our £4.5M teenager dos Santos to Portsmouth for £7M (the logic here being a ‘healthy profit’ too good to turn down). The deal fell through due to the fact that dos Santos is not match fit and Adams requires players he can use from the off. I’ve spoken about this before. We have a culture at Spurs of dismissing young players without any respect for patience and development. He can’t be that bad, surely? Does Harry not rate him at all? Is Levy prepared to put this down as another dud buy from our departed friend Comolli? In fact, was he bought as ‘one for the future’? Considering he’s been out injured for a while and thus not match fit, why are we looking to offload him with such casual dismissiveness?

dos Santos was exceptional during his days in the Mexican U17 and U21 teams. He showed promise at Barcelona but in his final season was very hot and cold. They sacrificed him because of the wealth of young talent they have there (Bojan is outstanding and a far better prospect). Or did they know he flattered to deceive? A one-footed forward with no extra dimensions to his game. Maybe Harry simply doesn’t think he is cut out for the fight we have ahead of us. Confidence wise, it can’t be good for the young lad. Another ‘one for the future’ Tomas Pekhart has joined Slavia Prague on loan. And Gunter has gone to Preston for a month. I’m hoping our academy team (that continue to impress in all the world-wide tournaments they compete in) don’t disappear into obscurity when they all turn nineteen.

So. Defoe, Chimbonda, Cudicini, Keane, Palacios. Does Harry now have the proper players he requires to help balance the team and add depth to the squad? Appiah is still with us, and has another month of getting fit and proving his worth before we have to make a decision about offering him a contract. Even though we were meant to give him a decision a week back.

So was this January a success?

• We needed a quality number two to cover and compete with Gomes. Done.

• We needed a central midfielder. Preferably a holding or defensive midfielder. Combative is what we ended up with signing Palacios who has a bit of everything. Done, sort of (and it does mean that we might well have to rely on Zokora stepping up in that holding position).

• We needed defensive cover. Chimbonda. Love him or hate him, we can now play Corluka as centre-back if need be. Pascal can play across the back four if called upon. Done.

• We needed a striker. We re-signed Defoe. Done, but fate had other ideas.

• We needed another striker due to DJ's injury. We re-signed Keane. We don’t have to concern ourselves just yet with how we plan to fit JD and RK in a starting line-up. I guess any striker signed would have had to be in the same mould as a Keane and Defoe, so we would have had the same dilemma regardless. So done.
  

But are we now defensively intelligent in midfield? Is Palacios the answer? What now for Jenas? Is the team (best starting eleven) now balanced from the back to the front? Can a team without a true left-winger work? Do we need a true left-winger? If Zokora is a Harry fav, then are we planning on sticking with the 5 in midfield and one upfront? Should we have signed a Crouchesque type of player (like we did with Kenwyne Jones)? Have we really improved the squad buying the player we need or have we opted for another round of scatter-gun bullet buys? Will Harry stop referring to the ‘we only had 2 points when I got here’ sound-bites?

Compared to some of the other clubs, and regardless of the fact we have re-signed players, we haven't done that badly in terms of bringing in quality. It's whether it all works out, second time around. Will the jigsaw pieces fit alongside the ones already slotted into the puzzle?

So many questions. All could be answered in 90 minutes this Sunday. Selection, formation, tactics, application. Harry takes 50% responsibility. The other 50% is down to the players.

I'm smiling. Nervously.