Calm before the storm

I'm travelling, or will be shortly, so depending on whether I get drunk at the hotel bar and then decide to rant via iphone about our lack of apparent decisiveness with < insert complaint here > or perhaps not I probably won't blog anything of any real consequence until I'm back. There's hardly much newsworthy content doing the rounds at the minute. I guess I could make some up?

Not long to go before the start of the season, slightly longer till the closure of the transfer window. Seems it's shaping up to be a three-tier summer of activity. We got the new coach in early followed by two signings. That was tier one, giving us assurance and confidence. Villas-Boas has supposedly let players know if they have a place in his plans, the ones that don't will be sold (that's if anyone can match Levy's valuation of them). That was tier two, an assessment and clean-up. We all know long term dynamic changes in formation and methodology will come in the course of the season playing out. Villas-Boas has already, on a number of occasions, cited the fact that not too much will change initially. The most important aspect of all of this involves the work done on the training pitch and we won't know the level of impact until we visit Newcastle.

Tier three is where we find ourselves right this second. Ideally, the club will bring in two more players before the start of the season. Adebayor being the most likely one, the other also a forward. Basically nothing has changed from last week and the week before that. Everyone is waiting for something to happen. I've sat back and enjoyed the Olympics, not something I expected to do as I was quite cynical with it all beforehand. Not even sure why I was like that, perhaps the whole Stratford bid clouded my patriotism in the build up to it. I've always been a big fan of track and field, so happy this summer has included a fair amount of distraction. No such entertainment elsewhere. Tabloids, Twitter and ITK twits continue to regurgitate the same rumours with their suggestive cryptic clues. It's not that I'm bored, just anxious to see the season kick start.

As for Luka Modric, the longer the saga drags on the more concerned I become. I've blogged about this before, that there has to be a cut off date with this. If we can only buy certain transfer targets off the back of selling Modric to Madrid then there has to be a point in the summer, in the next couple of weeks where Levy's stance is final; "Bid 'today' or else the player stays". We can't sell him days before the deadline then expect to sign a replacement - unless there's a very definite domino effect waiting to play out. The easiest way to handle all this, as a fan, is to admit we (as fans) know nothing about what is transpiring behind closed doors. All we can do is have faith that the type of players we think we need are the very same type the chairman and coach are targeting. I think we can agree that is definitely the case. Otherwise we're doomed to the indignity of 5th spot :trollface:

In the meantime, I'll be on Twitter thanks to free hotel wi-fi, laughing at allegedly hacked footballer accounts and people generally wetting their panties in anticipation for something, anything.

The Fighting Cock podcast is also back this week, so look out for episode one of season two on Thursday/Friday. I won't be on it, but there's a guaranteed wealth of drunken philosophy that will cater for your listening needs. I have to wait until next week before I rejoin the glory hole of Spurs. Not forgetting the return of the 'Ultras' (to be renamed), following the Spurs youth team on their travels. We took 200 to Charlton last season for a FA Youth Cup game. More of the same this season including the NextGen series, including Barcelona at the Lane (although I'll hazard a guess the Spurs training ground fixtures are behind closed doors) - we'll keep you posted on the details.

Calm before the storm then. I guess we best enjoy it. It's going to go mental once the Kraken  is released.

(Kraken is a metaphor and not a £20M striker)

-

DML Supa Liga

Fantasy Football and me, do not go hand in hand. Full of confidence on day one, by Christmas I'm out of the race like a much maligned Spurs side of the 1990s. I blame other distractions such as Football Manager but the reality is, I lose focus faster than Harry Redknapp in the midst of flirting with England. However, you lot appear to want this back again, so knock yourselves out:

Code to join the DML Supa Liga is: 195141-56816  (via Fantasy Premier League 2012/13)

May the most obsessed geek win.

Forget about the price tag

Moving on from Eminem, Stan and stalking the chairman...

With thanks to Jessie J (she hasn't got a clue but she wont mind) and the other credited writers (takes a team of people to write a pop song these days) for the original lyrics from her hit single Price Tag, borrowed and butchered for this blog and turned into a musical musing about our current forward plight. I’d ask you to enjoy but it’s no laughing matter. Much like auto-tuned music.

 

Okay, Comolli Man, Frankie Arne and Pleaty
You ready?

[Spooky]

Seems like everybody’s forgot to score,
I wonder if they should train all night
When the cross comes first,
And the miss comes second,
You stop, for a minute and
Swear

Why is everybody so calamitous
Acting so damn Rasiakious
You got blindfold on eyes
And boots back to front
That you can’t even show your t-shirt

[Pre-chorus]

Everybody pass to the left (bale)
Everybody hoof to the right (no)
Can you feel that (oh dear)
We’re never gonna score tonight…

[Chorus]

It’s not about the money, money, money
Levy will spend our money, money, money
We just have to sign a striker,
Forget about the Price Tag

Ain’t about the (tall) Cra-Crouch Cra-Crouch
Aint about the (Russian) Pav-Pling Pav-Pling
Wanna make a signing,
Forget about the Price Tag

[Spooky - Verse 2]

We need to take it back in time,
When Harry made us all unite
And it wasn’t all mis-hits and sitters,
Am I the only one gettin…twitchy?

Why is everybody so obsessed?
4-5-1 can’t buy us Prem success
Can we all slow down and play it on the ground
Guarantee we’ll be swaggerin’
Lilywhites

[Pre-chorus]

Everybody moan to the left (ffs)
Everybody groan to the right (christ)
Can you feel that (oh god)
van der Vaart’s gonna get subbed tonight…

[Chorus]

It’s not about the money, money, money
Levy will spend our money, money, money
We just wanna sign a striker,
Forget about the Price Tag

Ain’t about the (JD) Off-side Off-side
Aint about the (Orish) On-loan On-loan
Wanna make a signing,
Forget about the Price Tag

[Park Lane]

Yeah yeah
Levy pay any price tag
No need for money back guarantee
Forget about Jan, just give me world-class, give me glee
How about that La Liga Kun Sergio? Does he have a better goal ratio?
Otherwise kiss goodbye to Bale, Luka, so gotta bolster our portfolio
And all we...
Yes all we need is a striker
Unlike Berba one that won’t leave us for United
Let's not be stuck with playing Chirpy, cause I won’t be so delighted
It’s like this man, you pay up, don't be blinded
We dare to do so we fight and sacrifice for every glory night
Got to look to go all the way, believe, we just might
Waiting to see, a sign for a DVD uh uh
So we gon' keep everyone marching on their feet
So bring back the drummer and everybody sing
It’s not about…

[Chorus x2]

It’s not about the money, money, money
Levy will spend our money, money, money
We just badly need a striker,
Forget about the Price Tag

Ain’t about the (tall) Cra-Crouch Cra-Crouch
Aint about the (russian) Pav-Pling Pav-Pling
Wanna make a signing,
Forget about the Price Tag.

It’s not about the money, money, money
Levy will spend our money, money, money
We just have to sign a striker,
Forget about the Price Tag

Ain’t about the (JD) Off-side Off-side
Aint about the (Orish) On-loan On-loan
Wanna make a signing,
Forget about the Price Tag.

[Spooky - Outro]

Yeah yeah
oo-oooh
Forget about the price tag, just make a summer signing...

This was part 5 of the International Break Diary II

#4 Adventures in lucid dreaming, part I

#3 Back in the day, isn't half as good as it is now

#2 The Spurs Madrid El Clásico

#1 Hands up if you want to stand up at football matches

Anyone for a goal?

Is it safe to come out now? Everyone recovered from the debacle at Blackpool? No irony lost on me as I was ravaged and harassed much like our backline was. Rather illness than DJ Campbell witnessed me waste away (I lost 7 pounds). Offside indeed. Arguably a more damaging week for Spurs losing three points that cannot be recovered. I can at least eat a couple of doner kebabs and apply the lost weight in ample time.

What lessons can we take from the defeat? Other than the routine complaints that our forwards are not up to scratch?

1) Our forwards are not up to scratch.
2) Aided by the naivety of pushing forwards in numbers and allowing us to be punished on the counter.

On another day we might have scored a bundle. Oh for that other day.

JD hasn’t been on form for what seems like forever. Perhaps since the 9-1. Injuries aside, he has now taken an almost Pavlyuchenkoesque aura with his under-performing.  

“He’s only just back in the side”
“Needs to rediscover his touch”
“Trying too hard”
“Thinking too much instead of being instinctive”
“Lashing it when he should place it, placing it when he should be lashing it”

etc

In his defence some of his performances have been selfless in terms of sacrificing traditional goal-hanging virtues for more workman like defensive-forward qualities with JD running back into midfield, working the channels and generally doing all the donkey work with movement and pulling defenders away that many would over look because there’s no glam or end product. In these games you could also look towards the lack of creativity in supplying options to the forwards to strike at goal.

Such is the complexities of the current Spurs side that we’re almost performing to paradoxical levels week in week out.

We have spirit and guile and tenacity and most importantly we have team unity and belief (well, apart from Alan Hutton who is apparently in Goa with some old bloke with a white beard claiming to be Lord Lucan). We also have genuine balls deep world class players. In fact, in some ways we have the ilk of player(s) that transcends the accepted quality we usually enjoy at the Lane. We have players who are wonderfully talented as individuals but work majestically well as part of the team – with no determent for their inclusion. The paradox is, us sitting in fourth, could have been third, with hardly a reliable forward to be found. Ours can be easily located in Dubai.

I’d say ‘Crouch’ but I’d be shot down for mouthing it. But at least he tucks into his continentals whilst others choke on their full English. Although, I guess, he also chokes on his English. All a bit over-cooked then.

The only consistency has been the excuses we’ve all discussed post-match as reasons for our failures to see our midfield and attack combine to score goals (rather than goals being scored from midfield).

Apparently, it’s because of van der Vaart. When he plays everything goes through him (via Luka). Hence why it works with Crouch up top as a foil to the movement and endeavour of the Dutch maestro. If he’s missing, we fall back to a more traditional 442 set up. And we make hard work of it when we do. For example, the 3-1 loss to the Tangerines.

It’s pretty obvious stuff. We need something, someone special at Spurs. A player at the same level of a Modric or a van der Vaart. A forward, robust and intelligent who can play it on the ground and isn’t too shabby in the air. Some who can also link up play and allow others to flourish. Equally so, if there is no Drogba out there available then all we need to do is find a Lineker. No wonder we fail at each transfer window, eh?

Nothing new here, hardly a revelation. But all is not lost.

The paradox still has us in the top four with only a couple of recent gut wrenching defeats in the league that have seen us falter.

We have a striker who doesn’t score much, other than in Europe, but does assist.
We have a striker who has forgotten how to score.
We have a striker who seems to perform better as an impact player and can finish the ridiculously sublime but not the ordinary.

In fact, all three of our forwards are probably more suited as Plan B’s from the bench. But we still have to make do with what we have. We have no choice. Nothing we can do about wishful potential signings either. Whether it’s one up front or two, we’ve only got three to choose from.

I know that it’s all very dependent on the availability of vdV in how we line-up and from one game to the next and Harry likes to swap and change, but it’s time now to stick and pray. I don’t just mean with the forwards, but in other areas.

We need cohesiveness from one game to the next. Play the best players in their best positions and if they’re on-form let them retain their place. Sure, tactical reshuffles are a necessity for certain games (Milan) but if we want the midfield to link up with our rouge strike-force then a particular line-up needs to retain its shape. Appreciate squad rotation for freshness and injured players has to be accounted for. But sometimes I don't grasp the reasons for the shuffles. But then I'm just a fan not a coach.

It’s not ideal all this. If you have an in-form striker, someone you have faith in who you can stick up front and you know he’ll give you not just 100% but a little bit of composure too...you wouldn’t complain. Even the best have off days and you’d accept that. What’s frustrating is we’ve seen little in the way of movement in terms of improvements from any of our players other than say Crouch who does impress in those European one-offs.

Pav has never been in the zone. Always fleeting on the edge.
Defoe is a confidence player, scores in bursts, and when he doesn’t is maligned for offering little else.
Crouch is hardly prolific, great foil for vdV or an in form Defoe. But can’t be relied on to notch up the goals.

You can’t be too shocked that were not producing the goods. But even with this motley crue, we’re still someone how in the hunt. Thanks to the strengths of our midfield and the fact that we don’t actually lose that many, so our defence must be doing equally good. That’s the defence that also never remains the same from one week to the next.

We need to be better to consolidate. We have to in order to remain in the fight. To suggest we can’t is the type of pessimistic hoodoo we can do without. Last season we had key midfielders missing. We got on with it.

We’re stuck with the intangible again. So based on blind faith I’m placing hope on our trequartista threesome simply because...we have absolutely nothing else to place our hopes on.

Zonal marking, eat your heart out.

Anyone for a t-shirt?

Entrepreneurial webcomic illustrator/blogger/founder of the Studs Up empire (and all round nice guy) Chris Toy has followed up from his simplistically joyful football culture tee ‘2 points, 8 games, 1 hero’ and ‘Taxi for Maicon’ shirts with another essential must-have.

Oh yeah.

You know you want to.

Well that wasn't how I expected things to pan out

War cry back in your box. We've got the hiccups again, although by all accounts the performance illustrated that lady luck will look the other way if there isn't a world class forward up top to serenade her. Didn't peel the tangerines. Got three chucked hard and painfully to our mid drift.

How many clear cut chances did we have? A lot. Lack of defending and naivety in pushing up in numbers (come on Spurs, we know we're more than capable of being patient and mature) allowed for the sucker punches that ended any possibility of a win whilst a reconstruction of the Alamo played out the other end. So I'm told, via text messages and a brief phone call.

I was (yesterday late afternoon/all evening/all night) experiencing my own misery, on my death bed with a virus so potent, you could have stuck it in Lilywhite in a forward position and watched the opposition tremble with the runs. On my death bed indeed. Should have known something was wrong when I woke up to find Harry Redknapp alongside me.

Gone a bit pear-shaped

I guess I need to admit defeat. The only way is the hard way is the Tottenham way. To think we can make it easier for ourselves was/is an incorrect assumption that simply can not co-exist in this particular universe. We function best when obstacles (self-made usually) remain directly ahead of us. When a miracle is required.

We've had a great set of results, and it's come to an abrupt end. It wont matter if we bounce back in the next game. We're likely to go on another run. At least, you hope we will. That's what happened after the Everton loss. Another defeat (following a defeat) and it suddenly all becomes that much harder. At some point it will be a loss too many. But something tells me we'll be fine.

Faith. Doesn't tend to disappoint. Our players on the other hand. But hey, just a bad day at the office, right? Right?

So, over to you now. This is a DIY match report. It will be easy to knee-jerk so I'm hoping you won't. But then I'm sure some of you will. Looking forward to reading your write-ups, player ratings and conclusions when I next get out of bed.

The Spurs way is the hard way is the only way

Everyone feeling a little better now that deadline day is only accessible by time travel? I'm sure the ones that choose to watch Sky Sports News in the aftermath have braved a pure red assault on their senses, what with one hell of a Liverpool love-in consuming all that dare to leave the remote out of reach. Green-eyed, I've decided to avoid it altogether. I'm still gutted that Jim White's head failed to explode. The window was disappointing in more ways than one.

Quite a bit has been said, in recent guest blogs and in the comments section, so I'm going to avoid another epic waving of arms in the hair, spitting blood and growling at the moon in protest of what looked on the surface (which is what matters because it's the only thing we get to see) to be a massive error of judgement/poor negotiating/ non-existent scouting or perhaps nothing less than a schooling dished out to us for the purpose of deflection/propaganda.

Firstly, Levy. Ignoring all the N17/Stratford agendas and also side-stepping the suggestions that some of our more fanciful bids were superfluous - we did try to sign players. The question marks remain in the manner we want about our business and the almost desperate approach to capture some of La Liga's finest. With the added bonus of Neville and Adam - that still make no sense to me in relation to the time left in window and the fact they appeared to be attempted 'bonus' signings to appease the disappointment of no forward.

All a bit messy, no? Hardly a clear and concise strategic plan. On the surface.

I'm also wondering how much truth sits in with some of those La Liga bids, as there's a suggestion in Spain that Atlético Madrid's president was building up hype to show strength to their supporters that they would not accept bids from anyone. Unless I'm thinking of one of the other clubs subjected to one of our bids. Perhaps off the back of that claim, we went from denying making a bid for Sergio Agüero to 'playing the game' and pretending we actually did. But that's just me reading way too much into it.

The point is, we all know/knew a forward was required because our forwards simply don't score enough and our system requires something a bit special to lead it up top. We tried, not very well, and failed.

But what's done is done. And as if by (dark) magic, we find ourselves now without our talismanic Croatian crafter for a few games thanks to an almost ridiculously timed 'op' that has nothing to do with football (injuries). Kaboul is out. King has been out since forever. Dawson serving a suspension. Huddlestone breaking down. (edit...and Bale...and Pienaar).

Bare bones, backs to wall, two points eight games.

You know, we can all sit here - at home, in the stands, wherever - and complain and bite our nails and generally puff out cloudy negativity like a depressive locomotive smoking sixty cigarettes a day.

Or we can cite last season. Injuries aplenty. Hardly ever starting our 'best eleven'. Disappointing pockets of results that inflicted pain and sorrow and statements as deceive as 'that's it, we wont finish fourth now'.

And yet, we dug deep. We overcome what many though impossible on-paper fixtures. And players, including those that are much maligned, out fought opponents in one superb battle of tenacity after another. Strength as a team, as a unit.

Now last year, we were chasing something we've never got before. So the hunger, the determination - it was specially moulded by each test presented and passed week in week out. This year, this season...the Premier landscape has changed a little and with it, so must we.

Time to forget the past and just look forward with one thing in mind. Belief. Even if we are disgusing that perhaps we don't have the tools in key areas. We've done it before, we can do it again. Even with our limp attack.

I'd take every word Harry shares with this bestest mates in the media with pinch of salt in terms of his complaining about lack of this type of player and lack of that type of player. I'd also just forget about the whole 'we need a forward' thing because as much as a forward would have given us renewed impetus - the fact is, we never signed one.

It's a great testament, for me anyway, that I can look at our team and find myself preferring that the more difficult the task looks, the more comfortable I am with the belief that we can finish in a top four slot. Gone past the half way stage and we've still not quite hit that form. I'm placing a lot on faith, but that's the building block that made last season so epic.

Still wholly dependent on the players recapturing that guile and spirit that saw us victorious last time round. The message is therefore rather simple.

Wakey wakey, cock-a-doodle-doo.

COYS.

We've got our Tottenham back

I'll get around to writing up my own opinions on the the recent 'activity' (scoff) relating to the transfer window once I've returned from my travels. Will not be around to preview/watch/report on the Blackburn game either, so when I'm back I might just ask you lot to let me know how badly we played.

What?

Ah, don't fret, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. We'll do just dandy with our strike-force, I promise.

Talking of which, I will say this about the January Transfer window; Not resolving the fabled forward conundrum will only make finishing in the Top 4 that ever so sweeter.

What?

Just work with me, nod and pretend you agree.

So, moving swiftly on, I've got another guest blog for you this evening. Having received a number of emails that consisted of people going mental over our apparent inability to target a player with genuine belief of signing him rather than appear scatter-gunned and desperate, this particular piece speaks up for the all the frustrated. We all know sometimes (considering we don't actually know what goes on behind the scenes, well, until 'arry let's us know) it's not as black and white as it looks when you're watching SSN or reading news updates. Sometimes, it's best turn up the colour and just see red.

Insert Andy Carroll joke here.

Enjoy the rant/knee-jerk. Agree, disagree, throw rotten fruit.

-

Dear Mr Levy (and indeed Mr Redknapp),

On behalf of the supporters of Tottenham Hotspur FC everywhere, thank you. Thank you for giving us back our Tottenham. Thank you for bringing back to us what it is to follow Spurs. Once more we can feel like we’re used to feeling, when thoughts of that cockerel-adorned crest come to mind, so again I say thank you. Thank you for re- introducing us to those familiar experiences of disappointment, wasted opportunities, expectations of mediocrity, and that gentle whiff of embarrassment. It’s clear that you realised we were starting to forget what success felt like, so the feelings had begun to be less raw. Less intense. We needed that glimpse of the promised land to remind us what we were missing. But now you have returned our club to us.

This transfer window, you could have led us down a path that would leave us uncomfortable, nervous and twitchy. A path of hope; not a path we were familiar with, prior to the last couple of years. But you saw our confused little faces, and said ‘No - this cannot go on’.

Despite our recent comparative success, certain flaws in our team have been evident to all but the most blinkered of observer. For example, the lack of specialist cover at left-back is one area which patently needs addressing, yet due to the flexibility of players like William Gallas and Younes Kaboul this is an area that could wait until the Summer. There is, however, one area that could not wait. Not if we were to stand any chance of retaining our position among the Champions League elite next season. Not if we were to stand any chance of winning any silverware in the short-to-medium term. Not if we were to avoid a decline from which it will be very difficult to return. That area; the one of greatest importance and urgency; is in the forward line. The strikers.

Firstly, let me illustrate my point using some statistics about our strikers. The combined number of league goals that have been scored this season by the three senior strikers currently on our books totals six. That is less league goals between them than Gareth Bale has scored on his own. One third less league goals between them than Rafael Van der Vaart has scored on his own. Aaron Lennon, about whom it has often been said (incorrectly in my opinion) that he lacks a final ball, has managed half as many goals on his own as our entire strike-force. Even Alan Hutton, our full-back, has managed two league goals. All of these players have scored more league goals this season than either Peter Crouch or Jermain Defoe. At the moment, Crouchy couldn't introduce a banjo to a bovine posterior if they both had name-badges and a bloke at the door announcing them like one of those Cinderella ballroom scenes.

I think this point needs even greater context. At Chelsea, the attacking line of Drogba, Anelka and Kalou have managed 20 league goals, and this is considered to be a poor return this season. They have just added to this strike-force to the tune of £50 million. At Manchester City, Tevez and Balotelli alone have 19 league goals. They too have gone to significant expense to secure a front-line striker in this window in the form of Edin Dzeko. In the red half of that city, the combination of Berbatov, Hernandez and Rooney (in a tricky season for the England striker) have managed 28 league goals. And our natural enemies from up the road have seen 21 league goals scored by Chamakh, Van Persie, Walcott and Bendtner.

Even Liverpool, who have had a woeful first half of the season by their standards, have seen 15 league goals scored by Torres, Kuyt and Ngog. They may have subsequently lost Torres to Chelsea, but they have replaced him with Andy Carroll and Luis Suarez. Remind me, weren’t both of those players linked with us during this transfer window? And how have we enhanced our striking options during this oh-so-important period? By getting rid of Robbie Keane and Giovanni Dos Santos.

Just for a one further reference point, in the 2007/2008 season, our four strikers managed 40 league goals. I’ll say that number again. 40. See the difference?

I don’t think I can make the point any clearer than this: without a first-class strike-force, you will not achieve anything in football. Even if your defence is water-tight (and ours has been anything but this season), it takes goals to win games. It takes wins to achieve league success. It takes league success to maintain European football. And it takes European football to maximise turnover and attract top players. Success breeds success. And it all grows from scoring goals.

And what is the core reason for our failure to secure a top class striker in January? Because we persist in playing this ridiculous game of chicken with other clubs at the transfer deadline. Quite frankly, it’s pathetic. Other fans laugh at us. The BBC Live Text used the following simple phrase to sum up our desperate last-minute scramble to secure Charlie Adam: So near. So far. So Tottenham.

Does it give you some kind of buzz to see how near to the final second you can push it? Is it the gambler in you? Is it the chance that a last minute deal can open opportunities for a bargain? Because let me clarify this for you. Rafael Van der Vaart was a one-off. It was the exception, rather than the rule. It was a freak of modern football, and was rightly lauded as such.

If you leave it too late for other clubs to find a replacement, or so late that administrative problems can scupper the deal, you are left with nothing. You are standing empty-handed; with a pile of cash burning a hole in your pocket; cash which you will be simply throwing away in May when we finish 5th in the League. Or even worse, 8th. And let’s be clear, missing out on European football next season altogether is far from out of the picture.

Congratulations. You have gambled away tens of millions of pounds of Champions League revenue for the chance of saving one or two million. Sound business sense? I think not. It’s like me heading to the bookies and putting a grand on a bet that might return a hundred, but at ridiculously bad odds.

Stop this. Stop it now. When you have an opportunity, do the deal. Secure the players we need to take us to the next level, or even maintain us at this level. Make sure of our future success, rather than throwing it away.

And just out of curiosity, what were we going to do with Charlie Adam? He’s a great player don’t get me wrong. But is he simply cover for Huddlestone? Cover that is so much better than Jenas, Palacios, Sandro, O’Hara or any of the other multitude of centre-midfielders we have, that it is worth concentrating on that deal rather than making one last push to get a forward in? And what do we do when Thudd is fit again? Consign Adam to the bench? Drop Huddlestone? Or shift to an even-more centre-heavy formation of 4-6-0? Hell, why not? The strikers aren’t delivering anyway.

According to the press, we have been linked with Dzeko, Suarez, Carroll, Aguero, Fabiano, Forlan, Llorente, Rossi, Lukaku and countless others in this transfer window. It’s clear that you thought about the problem. But this is one of those cases where it’s NOT the thought that counts. To dare is to do. We didn’t think you’d dare pass up this chance to save the season and cling onto Champions League football. But you did it.

So yeah, thanks a lot.

Regards,

Beadle

Also, catch up on Chris King's guest blog on the same subject here.

The many that got away

guest blog by Chris King

Picture the scene.

On a Volcanic Island, thirty years from now, a group of shrivelled, hangdog men are sat round a table chatting. It is the third annual conference of the “Failed Evil Genius” club, and the members are starting to recount their near misses in life.

“I almost killed Superman.”

“I almost caught that pigeon.”

“I did bring the Labour Party and British economy to its knees, but it cost me my job.”

And then, from a darkened corner of the room; a slight, rasping voice speaks up

“I almost signed Diego Forlan, and Giuseppe Rossi, and Charlie Adam, and……”

Dear Mr Levy last night reaffirmed his position within the ranks of a multitude of Spurs’ Chairmen and Managers who nearly clasped their hands around the final piece of the jigsaw. Before, as in any end to an Indiana Jones movie, the piece crumbled to sand, drifting off in the air to sign a contract extension with their current club.

Spurs is now a clear byword for a failed transfer coup.

The image most fans will have from yesterday is of Levy watching reruns of Revisita la Liga, with his ENIC cheque book and pen, frantically shouting “Want, Want, Need, Got” at the TV, as a myriad of stars caught his eye. Offers were submitted before renegotiated contracts were confirmed with existing clubs.

Forlan, Rossi, Aguero, Llorente. Four players that could have shined in the Lilywhite kit yet either chose, or were made to choose their current club over a last minute, 11^th hour offer from Mr Levy. Now it may be unfair to say the planning was all last minute, but it is clearly how it played out. Would things have been different with Forlan or Rossi if we’d have tried to agree deals pre-Transfer window opening – as in – before Rossi signed a new contract extension?

The whole issue yesterday smacked of the failed attempts to get Luis Fabiano, Fernando Morientes and Rivaldo. The only time we’ve had any lucky dealing with Spanish clubs is when Van der Vaart fell in to our hands, but you have a feeling that it was the selling club that thought they got the best from that deal.

It’s not just foreign stars we struggle to capture. Carroll was on the radar before everyone took leave of their senses and made him the most expensive Englishman ever. Gareth Barry was supposedly a target of Harry’s; as was Craig Bellamy, Joe Cole and Micah Richards in the summer. All average players, which – just like Robbie Keane – may have had a moment in the sun before being, relegated to yet more squad roles on the fringe of missing the cut for the final 25.

Either clubs fear us and our potential, or more likely – they don’t respect us, don’t believe we will go through with the deals, or more importantly – like with Carroll – they can use us as patsies to get more loyalty or money elsewhere.

The other, more worrying aspect to our current transfer “policy” is the panic bids for players that have had attention from elsewhere. If another club wants a player, like Charlie Adam, then when those talks breakdown (also read Gareth Barry to Liverpool), we seem to find a pot of money to make a last ditch bid – knowing that there isn’t the time, nor interest to get the deal through. What did the Adam bid signify? What does it say about us as a club, or Levy as the chief negotiator? He is quoted as driving a hard bargain – but to what end, the death of our ambition?

Finally, for January at least, there was the derisory bid for Phil Neville – can we really afford £30m for an attacker, but have to pay £500,000 in two instalments – or the desperate attempt to get Beckham onboard to a) sell shirts, b) build prestige or c) talk to Seb Coe? The latter is now more likely to be seen in the stands at the Emirates with his boy than for Spurs to send out more glamour shots of him in our training kit.

Who do we trust in all of this? Since Comolli’s departure – and hold any view you want of him, at least he gave us “direction” – there is no clear view as to who orchestrates the transfer moves, nor who has final say in the type of player we need. All we have is Harry playing out every child’s* Football Manager Fantasy via the Sky Sports’ reporters. Telling the world who he wants, before playing dumb when everything has gone pear shaped. Is it possible to apply a gagging order to your own manager?

It is the current players you have to have a momentary sense of compassion for. Pav appears to have been used as a make weight in most of our deals. He polarises the fan base like no other in the squad, yet it’s hard to see where his motivation will come from now? Is he our fourth choice striker behind Van der Vaart, Defoe and Crouch? Will he be rotated as the big man du jour? Will he end up being Spurs’ very own “Humphrey” Bogarde, running down his contract before moving on for nothing? It is clear that Harry sees a future without him, but then only if Levy gets the right price in return.

Even the flawed Hutton must have woken up this morning realising he is Harry’s second choice right back; the first currently still employed by Everton.

Though I doubt any of this is really new or news to you. When a previous chairman claims our biggest rivals were mugs for buying Carlos Kickaball** – who turned out to be one of the best players to play in the Premier League – then it shows, Champions League qualification aside, we’re still on a different level, in terms of transfers, to the clubs we’ve been chasing for years.

Roll on the next window – I hear Maradona is available and still has an eye for goal.

*some adults also play Football Manager and other well know computer games

** Bergkamp explodes the myth he was a Spurs fan, rather a Hoddle fan in the current Four Four Two.

Chris King almost signed for York Railway Institute Amateurs Bowls Club, but stayed with his current side Holgate out of loyalty last season.

Sideways Spurs need fantastic forward

The one definitive observation from Saturday’s draw at St James Park was the one we always discuss in the aftermath of another ninety or so minutes of frustration. You know exactly what it is I’m referring to. Regardless of all the tippy tappy possession and the undoubted Barcelona brilliance of Modric (just call it Lukalona football) who you just have to stand back and applaud when remembering the slow but necessary process of his gradual but now explosive return to complete form.

Even if his performance at Newcastle was not full pelt thanks to the physicality of the opposition, pushed and barged throughout the game, but refusing to be bullied and was desperately unlucky what with the woodwork rudely getting in the way from a shot that deserved net.

So regardless of all that...we still don’t quite manage to make it count up top, we don't seem to create the clear cut chances that the build up play deserves, mainly because when the ball gets up top in and around the box, we are let down by either lack of composure, wrong decisions or poor ball/cross. So that vital bit of the build up is where it sort of falls flat.

Plenty of guilty touches shared by many. Lennon, on the left (having started off in his traditional right) got his foot stuck under the ball once or twice when a cross might have resulted in a goal. On the left, crossing with his weaker foot. Not going to work really.

There was a patch in the second half where we knocked on their door constantly. Well actually, we were practically kicking the door down even though we had the keys in our hand, however dropping said keys walking away from the door back towards the start of the driveway before running back and kicking the door...again. Never really breaking through it. There was an easier way.

PICK UP THE KEYS, PUT THE KEYS IN THE LOCK, UNLOCK THE DOOR. WALK IN.

Lennon did do quite well trying to get in via the window (that’s cutting in onto his strong(er) right foot and what with him being so small, perfect fit for it). Along with Modric, Azza was our best player on the day. Even with his final ball hiccups. His goal was deserved. For his effort and for our effort with not giving up. Even though we might look back in regret at some fundamental issues that aided Newcastle into the lead and for most of the game likely to hang on to it. I under-rated them post-match. Shame on me.

As for us - we made hard hard work of grabbing a point.

Their goal, awful really from our perspective. Hutton’s slow and slower footwork the first facepalming moment, Cudicini’s attempted save the second. The latter redeemed himself. The former is fortunate he’s decent going forward. His positioning remains awkward at the back, along with his lack of instinctive quick thinking defending with additional ball and player watching. Can we try Charlie again at RB again? Or Kaboul?

Before this, should have been 1 up at half time (JD miss) but 1-0 down in the second it was, and the day continued to run with the ominous theme of despair. What with BAE out injured, Bale in at LB from LW and then out early in the game with a back injury. And then 1-0 down and lacking punch.

Dawson, talismanic on his return bringing with him some clean sheets to replace the dirty old ones found himself hiding under the blankets avoiding the big scary hairy monsters. He got turned, badly on one occasion. I still love the big smiling lad to bits but a day to forget for the most part. Could have easily been 2-0 once or twice when we pushed forward only to be countered.

Jenas was like a goldfish swimming in shark infested waters. Talks a good talk does JJ. Talks. Pienaar didn’t look sharp or completely 100%. Did have one or two worthy moments of intent, but he’s come straight into the side so we can hardly start having a go. He did okay, we’ll expect better over time if he’s going to be more than just a squad player (which is what I think he is). Bassong did fine considering it’s the first time he’s slotted into LB this season.

Other mentions. Defoe should have had it just before the half time whistle, as mentioned. Buzzed about but his decision making sometimes has me eating my fist. I dislike the way he always seems to fall down after a poor first touch in front of the pen area. I know it was physical game, but it happens too often. van der Vaart? You sort of forgot he was playing at times, what with dropping back in deepest midfield to help out Luka and sort of getting stuck there. And please Rafa, stop allowing gravity to pull you down with such comparative ease.

Also found a lot of our play was down the middle, forever smacking into a cluster of Newcastle players. Lost the balance of width and as the game progressed (three at the back) we still seemed to get to their pen area and lose impact due to a loose ball or whatever. Ref was as messy as our final third effort.

When you cry out for Crouch (which is what five of us were doing as we watched the game on a plasma – the wonders of streaming from lap top to tv) you just knew the day was now totally engulfed in ominous-ness. When he came on we hardly managed to us his tallnessness. Lack of width, lack of crosses. But he did get his head onto a flick-on once or twice which is either deemed as constructive to bringing his team mates into the game or the only thing he does which is hardly reason to depend on him.

In the end, Lennon worked his swagger and from the jaws of defeat yadda yadda yadda. He made the right decision and finished splendidly. Two points dropped, no? Well actually probably not. Because that observation from the game once more illustrates that if you have no consistency up top you’re not going to produce consistent performances. This is not an issue with the 4411 formation. Well it is, I guess, because we’ve not got the player to compliment vdV and especially the magic of Modric. But I prefer this step up to a more traditional 442 as with the right players it will work better than say having JD and Crouch starting. Will being the operative word.

Our midfield has remained more or less the same and when Huddlestone returns we’ll be even stronger in terms of creativity. Pinged balls and disguised passes aplenty from Tommy.

But the forward conundrum continues to plod along.

Recent games, recent partnerships:

vs. Newcastle - Defoe/VDV
vs. Man Utd - Crouch/VDV
vs. Fulham - Pavlyuchenko/VDV
vs. Newcastle - Pavlyuchenko/VDV
vs. Aston Villa - Defoe/VDV
vs. Chelsea - Defoe/Pavlyuchenko
vs. Birmingham - Defoe/Crouch

(thanks to Mumorn, GG)

And the stats:

Crouch - 1 goal in 1315 minutes, or 1 goal per 14.6 games
Defoe - 0 goals in 548 minutes
Keane - 0 goals in 226 minutes
Pav - 5 goals in 801 minutes, or 1 goal per 1.8 games.

Our strikers - 6 goals in 2890 minutes, or one goal per 5.4 games.
6 goals in 23 Premier League games

Our Midfield - 21 goals in 9580 minutes, or 1 goal per 5 games.
21 goals in 23 Premier League games

(thanks to...not sure, if stats are not correct – let me know)

Now, take the team as is and stick a prime time Dorgba-esque player up top. Much like the Dutchman and Croatian galvanise our midfield, so will a top drawer centre-forward.

We don’t test the opposition keeper enough, when we do we don’t score enough from chances created. It’s almost there, the design, the workings. I know we struggled with the final ball but it’s all limp where it matters. None of the penetration deserving of some of our football.

Was a time when we were scoring goals for fun (circa Berba/Keane era). This team just needs that spark. Because the moment we click and we're clinical and ruthless, we’ll be dangerous. We’ll kill teams off and we would win games that ‘Top 3’ teams are expected to kill off. The reason we are once more thinking more about the 'battle for fourth' is because we are probably sort of better than last season but not massively improved to compete with the other sides who are churning out the results.

Final word:

Don’t fret at the Prem table. We got completely written off last season, countless times. We’ll still finish fourth. But it will go down to the final week(s) again.

Also, I have a question about our scouting system. I've discussed this a few times already this past weekend with Lilywhite supporting family and friends and it's something a number of you have probably scratched your heads about plenty of times. Why do we let it drag out, re: signing players? Is there no smart decent striker somewhere in world football we could pick up for a relatively good price or are we are about to enter the usual last gasp bid and win transfer bingo of deadline day? Do we not have people working on potential transfers in the months leading up to the opening of the window so we can just make bid on the first day - 100% it's the player we believe will better us?

Behind the scenes, we might well have two or three players that fit the bill. But you can't quite believe that's the case. Hope I'm wrong.

COYS.

WANTED: One top class striker. Requirements: ruthless eye for goal, sublime first touch, clever movement and a bit of a swagger

Tottenham 0 Manchester United 0

If Manchester United were toothless, Spurs were limp. Neither side had cutting edge. Both sides defended resolutely. And yet there is no disguising the disappointment that we didn't carve out more clear cut chances. Ball seemed to get stuck under feet once or twice. When a quality ball was crossed in, there was no quality at the end of it to finish it off.

Perfect illustration that we can go up against the teams that are meant to be on another level to us, compete and feel regretful for not quite grasping the initiative and punishing them.

Sure, we're not title contenders. Mainly because we lack that extra punch in the side that probably would have seen us take more points than we did against Man City (D), Chelsea (D) and now Man Utd (another D). The concern is that other sides might have that punch aplenty, either from seasoned experience of from splashing out £27M for the privilege.

We need to turn these almosts and if onlys into three points at home and dig deep away. Regardless, let's face it, even if Man Utd are hardly the beast of old they are one that has to be respected and very much admired for their spirit and their annoying doggedness. They battled and they could have nicked it, at least their fans would argue they had players with the potential to do so. But much like us, the game (end to end as it was) lacked that final third slick pass and movement to get past the bricks in defence.

Rooney and Berbatov hardly had me biting my nails. Apart from perhaps two efforts on goal by 'Wazza', but hardly heart-stopping. But alas, unbeaten they remain. The red card (not that it's helped in the past) was hardly fruitful in terms of possession in our favour. As we didn't quite make it count down the flanks and through the middle. A day for defenders indeed. Still think we're going to finish top four, got the players for it just need that ruthlessness in the key forward area. So yeah, top four ‘if’ we get that ruthlessness in the key forward area.

Crouch, no doubt, is going to be much maligned in post-match discussion, I'm certain of it. Nothing to suggest we would not have discussed the same 0-0 result had Pav started or even Defoe.

The Russian probably would have given us little movement or bad first touch (depends what variant of Roman would have turned up, but can't have seen him troubling Rio and Vidic much). Defoe also might have found himself lacking the cunning to get behind the Utd centre backs. Although, arguably, both Pav and Defoe could lay claim to having better shooting boots than Crouch.

Just that Peter can hold the ball up and head it down and...you know, stuff, for a big man. Crouch 'should' have scored from that delicious Hutton cross. In another parallel dimension. Not to single out Crouch, so I won’t, also worth noting vdV was not quite crisp with his efforts either.

And let's be honest, regardless of the forward(s), it would have taken something special to unlock the United defence on the form they were on. Trend developing here, with the reoccurring references re: defenders.

Don't think too much was wrong with our performance and our intent. Modric was supreme again. World class? Yeah, go on then. Stick that on the back of his shirt. He makes us tick, he conducts and dictates. Fergie licking his lips on the touchline.

Palacios played well in parts, but also doing his best at times to remind us of his erratic composure when attempting to pass, but he was effective with defensive duties. Not so bright in offensive positions. And please someone have a word with him regarding shots on goal. Jenas the alternative. Pienaar the alleged transfer target (Chelsea to nick him). Huddlestone, no doubt, the preferred choice of partner for Modric. Having him back in the side might actually feel like a new signing. You felt for all the majesty of Modric, with vdV not quite claiming a stranglehold on the game like he usual does, Hudd's pinged balls into and around the box are missed in games such as this where chances are not quite crafted with ease not for lack of invention – just needed a different type of question to be asked when moving towards the United goal.

Moving away from their defenders to ours...

Hutton and BAE worked tirelessly. And Dawson is beginning to be a tad talismanic at the back. What's that now, one goal conceded in our last five games? And that other bloke at the back, whathisface, the old bloke. Quietly quietly, he's proving one or two of us wrong with his composure and experience . What with Ledley stuck on the sidelines.

Other minor talking points?

Our set pieces remain utterly pants. Last decent free kick was taken back in 1991. More conversations required on the training pitch with D-Beck please.

The red card? Well it was hardly a Mendes or Nani or Webb incident. And petulant as Raphael was/is (the second ‘foul’ was probably meant rather than being accidently) he probably should have got away with just the one yellow. The first tackle, clumsy.

Conclusion?

In the end, not enough, when enough was not that improbable but neither likely. United, needing the point more than risking the requirement of all three. They contained us. I guess we should take that as a compliment?

In a season where nobody is head and shoulders above the team just behind them. In a season where Chelsea are showing signs of mortality and weakness, City spending more to consolidate and improve, Arsenal ruthless against the lesser teams and Man Utd, not playing with swagger but not getting beat either. It’s a soap opera with many unmissable story arcs and sub plots. We are stronger but with the ‘top four’ becoming ‘five’, so is the top end of the league which means we need to evolve further, and quickly. Twists and turns guaranteed, no doubt, before the finale.

Onwards.

Five of our next six games in all competitions are away. Backs to wall, wouldn't have it any other way. Well, other than being ten points clear of 4th spot looking down at it.

COYS.

Toffees make toast of Tottenham...burnt toast with Marmite on it

Everton 2 Spurs 1

Losing. Don't much like it.

So, I guess that’s what you call a blip, right? At least I’m hoping it’s a blip. We look tired out there, right? Or is that not a valid enough excuse? Having said that, I did say in my match preview that I hoped we didn’t tinker too much with selection. You sort of half wished we did in hindsight, but then again looking at the way Niko Kranjčar performed when he came on for Bale you just have to accept that the tank was empty and playing 'the reserves' might not have made much difference.

Credit to Everton for having a go. Although don't whisper that to Bale who was kicked all over the shop. If they had a decent forward they’d have been comfortable. Then again had Crouch timed his run (by basically turning around and walking into an onside position, then turning around to face the goal, then walking forwards) he’d have latched on and scored a legitimate goal just before the break. And had the ball not got stuck under vdV's foot he might have also smashed it home. And if my auntie had...blah.

The opener for the Toffees, decent shot, but just seemed a cheap and easy way to go one – nil down. Hadn't even finished making my cup of tea and we're 1-0 down. Ominous start, broken up with some wonderful Modric play and Crouch yet again assisting for vdV (6 assists for 11 of his goals apparently, but let's not shout about it because it's not really enough). Second half was a mess of nothingness. Everton going all Catalan, Seamus Coleman (quality little player) with a headed goal for the points. Bale off with an injury prior to that. Ah, what can I say? It was frustrating.

Its ironic how all my pre-match comments have come back to bite and mock me as I sit in the corner shaking uncontrollably, slowly moving back and forth.

"You can't always play well. Secret is to still win when you don't"

"We are still susceptible to those blips thanks mainly to some inconsistency to the back-line and the lack of obvious stone cold conviction up front"

"Because statistics aside, pound for pound, we should be containing and beating them"

"Although it's not an imperative end of days must win, it's most defiantly an opportunity to continue with the momentum, when you consider that other clubs might drop points this evening"

"I'll take another three points. Swagger or no swagger. If it's good enough for United, it's good enough for me"

Ho hum. Could have done with some swagger afterall.

Yes, we are a snarling elegant beast, but on Wednesday night, one with a thorn in our paw. I know Harry will get some stick for not changing it. Perhaps Wilson on to break up play, aid with possessions percentages to allow more time on the ball for Luka. Midfield was weak in mind and heart. Went pear-shaped at the end with the non-existent width. Even Keane came on for probably his last ever game. Can we just forget everything that happened after his Liverpool move and just remember all that happened before? A nod, in his direction, for the goals he scored for the club. Good luck Keano. He'll probably score against us but not celebrate. The rascal.

In addition, at times, defending looked like we were up against Neo in The Matrix. And BAE needs to lose the afro. OptaJoe might be able to confirm - have we won any games when his hair has not been braided? Having said that, Hansen was still ridiculously harsh on Match of the Day, critical of Benoit to the point of the left-back getting his own footage of flatulence as we witnessed highlights of his below par performance. He played poorly. It happens. Do all the other games not count then? Or just the ones Hansen watches and deems him as being useless?

Moving on again...

The loss, this wasn’t down to complacency. Wasn’t even an awful performance, abject and deserving of rotten fruit. It was lacklustre. Don’t fret mind, this isn’t ‘typical Tottenham throwing away another chance’. This was tired Tottenham with perhaps a tad too much naivety in the way we shaped up tactically. On full pelt, going to Goodison and running at them with acres of space - I’d place a wager on us. On tired legs, bit silly. Everton had far more of the ball and more conviction. They zipped and zinged about the place and you sort of knew how it was all going to end.

Still, one thing we can take out of the game is that once more it illustrated that we can tie ourselves down to the one dimension when the man up top doesn’t tick all the necessary boxes for the ilk of forward we need. Although having said that, fans are split on what exactly that ilk is. Although I’m hoping the only two people that matter are more than aware of what they need to do between now and the closure of the transfer window to resolve the eternal conundrum.

Other thoughts on the game (already sort of touched upon) is the amount of hacking/fouling little Azza and beast Bale are subjected too. Which is to be expected, so no violins. Bale is already attempting to subtly hint to the officials it just ain't fair but remaining on the ground for a bit longer than necessary. Although in the end, he had to limp off. So, I refer you back to something I stated years back. We need to sometimes...oh God, I can't believe I'm going to say this again, but we need to be a bit Roy Keanesque. Not saying we should bark and complain all the time but we need to be smart and canny about how we go about our business - especially when we are jaded and getting battered. Just a thought.

Another thought is that having been complimentary on Jenas in recent weeks (I was not alone on this so shut up) he's only gone and done his usual disappearing man stint. Fit him with a sat nav so we can have some controlled and composed movement and direction in midfield. What's that? Ooh, you are twisting my arm there Mr Parker, stop it, stop it...okay...go on then.

So that's that.

Random facts and bits that were tweeted post match that might make you feel better or more likely ram home that gut wrenching disappointment (having seen City, Arsenal draw – Wolves beat Chelsea) are as follows:

First defeat/nil points since November
No one around us won
Still fourth

That’s basically it. Rest period coming up with the cup game against Charlton, so hopefully we re-energise in time for the small matter of Manchester United visiting us at the Lane. After that we play Newcastle, Blackburn, Bolton, Sunderland, Blackpool and then Arsenal (ignoring CL duties) then Wolves, West Ham, Wigan, Stoke and then Man City.

The dirty dozen. There’s another four games that follow our trip to Eastlands, but I reckon by the time we work through the above, it will be done and dusted.

In our favour. Obviously.

Spooky recommends...All-conquering Englishman spurs his way across Europe

Capital Punishment by Kris Mole - Ebook available here

extract:

Having blagged his way into a Barcelona FC press conference...

"My fantasy interview was cut short by someone entering the room talking on a mobile phone. I turned to see who it was and couldn’t believe my eyes. Xavi, all 5’7” of him (he’s a littl’un) was standing beside me having a chat to someone, probably his girlfriend, telling her he would be home for dinner soon and could she make sure there were a few San Miguels in the fridge. He glanced at me with a look that said,

“Who the **** are you?” and I nodded a greeting his way. He then looked down at the cockerel on my chest and sighed the kind of sigh that I knew meant, “If only they would put in a bid for me. I would love to play for Spurs one day.”

He finished his conversation and left me alone once again."