Things Harry Redknapp will say next

First there was the epic “I'm going to go and commit suicide, it's so sad”. Then he delivered the punchy “99.9 per cent of people who go to Tottenham have loved everything they’ve seen. That’s all that matters” and the exquisite “They’re idiots who don’t even watch football".

DML and Spurs fans on Twitter present to you...things Harry Redknapp will say next.

"Bill Nicholson led this club to the double, but he didn't have the handicap of two points from eight games"

Speaking on Oprah Winfrey: "The reason the NDP is non-viable is because there's no room for my statue"

"Spurs fans need to wake up and smell the coffee. If I wasn't appointed boss they'd be sitting midtable in league one"

"I established the club in 1882. Some "Fans" seem to forget that..."

"When I left they had 3 points from 8 games. Triffic compared to where they were when I started"

"Spurs will not be signing any players from La Liga. And up after the break on Sky Sports News, Jim White will be with us"

"Top nine finish is superb for them, superb for this club. Remember, they were bottom when I arrived. Two points from..."

"Look, all I did was unzip and urinate in their direction. I wasn't technically speaking aiming at the home support"

"Two points, eight games, two points, eight games, two points, eight games, two points, eight games"

Harry on potential signings: "I like that Revisita La Norther Premier Hotpoint League. That's the standard of player we'll go for"

"I did tell the FA all about my minor indiscretions when I took the job"

"Yeah, he's a good lad that Tony Cottee. He'll be fantastic upfront with Crouchie with Billy Bonds slotting into midfield"

"I didn't lose today, they did, them lot. Spurs. Nothing to do with me is it?"

"What I'm going to do to celebrate 3 wins from 13 games? Not much, probably just go home and have a bacon sarnie and walk the dogs"

"Crouchie and Defoe, unlucky not to score. Not our day. England fans should be happy. Quarter-final? I'd have taken that"

"I love a bit of wheeling and dealing, it's what makes football proper"

#futurearryquotes

Quote of the Day

Quote of the Day plucked out of Glory Glory.co.uk from this forum thread about Harry Redknapp talking out about the farce at OT and being threatened with an FA slap of the wrist for his ranting. With thanks to Danners 9 for the wise words.

One of the big issues after a game is dragging a player or manager in front of the camera to ask retarded questions, then being able to fine them if they speak out of turn, but making the referees untouchable.

Why should a manager or player be asked an emotive question after a controversial event and let the one who made the decision get away without the same questioning?

It should be a transparent sport, there shouldn't be the opportunity to cover up mistakes. The same scrutiny process should apply throughout

Unfortunately transparency is about as likely as Rio Ferdinand tweeting in Queens English.

And onwards we go.

Jim White's head to explode in 3...2...1...

Always amazes me how we can get down to the final day of the transfer window, and still be looking to acquire new players. I guess our desperation (along with everyone else's) and the opposing selling clubs agenda mean that the cat and mouse game played in the weeks leading up to 6pm cut off on the 31st August, serves both best to get a deal done and dusted. So in that final day, everyone goes loopy. Must be easier to negotiate when the clock is ticking because something has to happen, right? Last chance saloon.

If you go by what Harry says (when he's not abusing Sky Sports reporters), we need a CM and a striker.

We've signed a keeper on a season long loan (Stipe Pletikosa). Got Gallas in. Sandro has arrived. But, there is still persistence with Parker. And there are a number of forwards we've been linked with since the summer. So we've not been completely inactive. Just not overly active for areas deemed key for our continued progression. That added depth and removal of deadwood to freshen things up. Plenty of flirting, no first base.

I guess there are no young British forwards or continental gems to wine and dine.

If you look back to the methodology used to sign Modric and Berbatov (to name a couple of examples), these were players scouted and then bought well within the boundaries of the window. You'd think, having finished 4th and qualified for the CL we'd have had players tied up long before today and thus aid in avoiding the imminent melt-down of Sky Sports News.

Comolli, where are yooooooooou?

But these modern times are not as free-spending as previous seasons. There doesn't seem to be much in the way of options, and what is available appears to be way too expensive. I always thought we'd consolidate CL status with a superstar or two. I guess that's an expectancy too far. And probably nothing more than the want for something that's not actually necessary (Moddle, Bale etc - are players we should retain our faith in, as both are potential superstars). Signing of an actual world class player isn't and never has been easy, and is probably something we won't be able to do for a while yet (if all goes to plan). But it's what we lack. It's the difference between contending for 4th and challenging for the title. The other 'top 3' and City would tell you they have one or two world class players in their ranks. Liverpool too.

This is probably why some of us are frustrated with it all. But gun to head, we can't force a transfer just because it works in discussions on blogs and forums.

Perhaps we don't have quite as much disposable money available (to buy really good players who could play for us, if we could afford to match their estimation). Or maybe there is a genuine lack of affordable viable deals to be had (was Fabiano really ever an option?). Which means there is potential for panic. We've done that before what with the re-signing of Chimbonda.

This time round, it's not the defence that needs fixing up. So, who's it gonna be? Adebayor is being linked again. You would also have to speculate that one or two of our current players (the deadwood) will be shifted out on loan or otherwise. Odds on Keane to West Ham and Parker to us? With plenty of spin thrown in to attempt to mask the back footing? I guess with everyone desperate for an injection of new blood, it's all quite possible. It probably doesn't matter what's in the syringe, just stab it into the vein.

I hope we keep a level head. No need for dilatation of the pupils.

Levy and Harry should only sign a player(s) if it's the right player. Might be that there are three or four 'right players', and for reasons touched upon above, it comes down to the last day thanks to the tradition of wheeling (soz 'arry) and dealing and the fact that those opposing clubs play hard-ball right up to the final hour.

Irony to all this is, on the surface, it all looks a bit manic. But then most of what's being written is just commentary on what people think is going on. Leaked info from agents, genuine club insiders talking to their journo mates. Take a look around:

Adebayor to Spurs/Adebayor to remain at City. Parker bid rejected from Spurs/Parker to join Spurs. Young to Spurs/Young in no hurry to move.

All corners covered then.

Keane is now being linked with a move to Besiktas. Jenas to Stoke? Is 46 year old Sully Muntari really going to sign for us? Jim White's head to explode in 3...2...1...

We don't need much in the way of change. I'd rather a new forward than a new CM. Would love a game-changer, a talismanic signing. But my feet are firmly on the ground.

Onwards to 6pm.

I hope to be surprised. But won't be surprised if nothing happens.

Visit the DML Facebook page for collective shaking of the head whilst the hours tick away with no sign of a new player signing for the Lilywhites.

You tube vids here.

Modric, stuck out on the left...

Are we going to sign a left-winger? Young? Downing? Anyone? It's the quest that never ends, usually because we are never looking, and it's a question that gets repeated over and over again and with each passing transfer window we are left empty handed and confused.

The only reason I care to mention this is because of Luka Modric. And the little matter of our midfield. At the moment he dinks in, drifts around at his heart's content, conducting play and creating havoc. All from the left-wing. I discussed this at length - click here to read it - and the conundrum was simply whether our Croatian wizard was better suited in the middle.

With Palacios now commanding the centre park, the protection is in place for Luka to slot into a more natural position for a player with his abilities. But there is no indication of what Harry is planning other than a complaint about Man City 'moving the goal posts' and being able to outbid everyone around them citing Barry and Santa Cruz - indicating we were interested in both. Which means we are still looking to bring in two players of similar ilk. Ignore his comments relating to not bothering to strengthing the side if we can't find players that would improve us (Harry mind games):

"I have spoken to the chairman Daniel Levy and we've decided if we can't get players who will improve the team we're not going to bother. We've already got a decent squad, many of whom are going to get better. But we recognise we have to improve"

Not a chance he won't get involved in some dealings.

a) Because he's Harry Redknapp

b) Because we DO need to strengthen the squad

A CM and a number 9 type of forward player are the current targets based on Harrys comments (if you read between the lines, and I know I might be reading way too much into it). He also mentions Glen Johnson, so it's possible we are also looking at the right-back position too. You know, because, we need one of them due to the lack of depth in that area of the squad since Pascal Chimbonda was involved in a training ground accident involving a tear in the space time continuum that sucked him into a worm hole.

Now I know I'm basing all this around the obvious and there is no clear indication, but I hope (and pray) we don't simply sign players just because they are available (regardless of their hype) and that we sign players that we need because they WILL improve the side.

Barry would have completed our midfield. Santa Cruz, I'm not too sure about. So maybe I've got that one wrong. All irrelevant now anyway.

Signing Barry would have meant Modric remaining on the left-hand side. If we do sign another CM, it's possible that the player will be a back-up (with Zokora on his way out). Whatever happened to the Scott Brown rumours? We've also been linked to several La Liga based midfielders in recent weeks, but it's all speculation - our tabloids repeating what their tabloids are saying. If we sign a major player for the CM role, then Luka will no doubt remain drifting in from the left. There is no real clarity and definitive ideology of selection based on the transfer rumours. But then I wouldn't expect that to be the case.

Not a clue about the 'number 9' - and whether we end up with a tricky goal-scorer or a tall/big/strong Crouchesque player. If we do sign another forward, then the Keane/Defoe issue will no doubt resurface.

And back to the left-sided question. Downing is injured and I'm not sure when he'll be back to full fitness - so signing him would still mean we begin the season with no left-winger. Anyone would think there's a shortage of wingers. It's gone quiet everywhere. Ashley Young too.

I guess one thing to be completely positive about is that we are not rushing into making any signings. Whether this is because we are waiting to sell players (or swap them) or because we are biding our time to find the right (left) type of player to bring to the club - it gives me the impression we are a little more calculating this term, than in previous seasons.

Either that or the transfer window is in a state of reverse flux, with clubs nervous about spending too much on the wrong player.

Until we make a signing, we won't know where Moddle will be starting. But at least he'll be starting in Lilywhite.

Harry doesn't rate you, or you.....or you

Harry Redknapp, the undeniable high priest of man-management and media handling. Right?

No.

Our 'arry is at it again. When things don't go quite right, he always seems to deflect attention onto someone else. He does so in a manner that doesn't allow much room for any fingers to be pointed in his direction. Not that Darren Bent was blameless on Sunday against Pompey. He missed a sitter. A nailed on back of the net winning goal. We all saw it. Everyone at the game and everyone watching it at home. So is there really a need for a manager to further highlight this as emphatically as our 'arry has done? I can almost imagine Bent getting a pie in his face after returning to the dressing room at full time.

Maybe a simple 'It happens sometimes, he'll bounce back' would have sufficed instead of the 'unbelievable' description he tagged the miss with. We all know it was bad, we don't need additional commentary on it, and neither does Darren Bent.

I'm sure 'arry was critical of Match of the Day 2 host Adrian Chiles a while back concerning the coverage of Gomes on the programme. Chiles would highlight 'mistakes' made by Gomes every week, regardless if the Brazilian retained a clean sheet or played well. Redknapp wasn't best pleased.

And our 'arry has followed up his public criticism of Bent by having a dig at Cesar Sanchez, our reserve goalkeeper who is subject to various 'Does he actually exist?' forum discussions. 'arry doesn't rate him and has made this clear to all but stating that he is looking for someone who is good enough for first team football.

He refers to him as the 'Spanish goalkeeper'.

Well in there Mr Redknapp. No need to stop with Cesar (that's his name 'arry....C E S A R). Any plans on outing Gareth Bale and David Bentley as both being completely out of form and lacking in assured belief and confidence? Maybe you could phone up Sky Sports News and tell them you think both players are complete pants and you'd even consider playing Joe Jordan as an alternative you're that frustrated.

Unbelievable, no?

Yes.

As much as I've personally been critical of the effort and urgency of some of our players, draining further confidence from players who have very little is not the right thing to do in public.

Steve Tanner

Scary.