63.02%, triffic

What with real life getting in the way, I've not quite done a match report on the Young Boys game and our safe passage through to the CL proper. So, here's some belated bits and pieces and some post-match commentary.

The performance (4-0)

Wasn't vintage Spurs by a long shot but there was no necessity for anything more than what was given. We did enough, and enough was more than enough. We all know that deep down we have a deficiency as fans to think of the worst case scenario. It's a defensive mechanism to aid in appeasing any potential disaster, but it's also something that has engulfed our match-day psyche. Plenty of people thought they might nick an away goal. I thought we might be in for a tough night. In the end, the true difference in class was more than evident. They were hardly the plastic fantastics of the first game.

We might not have been 100mph or swash-buckled our way through them in the pouring rain, but we were professional. Rode our luck (Defoe goal) and just got it done. There were pockets of tension thanks to the sheer importance of getting through, for the first time ever, which meant it was all a bit tense until the fourth goal went in.

Good solid performance. Happy days. Soz to all the trolls. You can now move onto your 'you're gonna get smashed in the group stages' one-liner.

Huddlestone

Anyone still got doubts on this one? He was superb. Is superb. We all know he can pass and now we are seeing him take control and dictate. For all his lack of mobility, his intelligent moving (off the ball) makes up for the lack of pace. And he's only a youngster. We have ourselves a giant, one that can sit in the middle of midfield and ping balls out to the wings without even having to look up, retaining possession when required (although he has to be careful with spending too much time caressing the ball). His technique is sublime and there is evidence that although his weakness with defensive duties has been a bugbear in the past, he's displaying far more composure and positional awareness. Which can only help the team when under pressure. European football will suit him just dandy.

Defoe

I love this guy. He's not perfect. The way he flirts with the offside trap does my head in, but he's a pure finisher. What he has to add to his game (which is going to be difficult considering how instinctive he is) can be illustrated by what should have been the 3rd goal. He missed the target when it was easier to lay the ball off to Crouch or Palacios. Against top drawer opposition, we might not get an abundance of chances. So cool head please Jermain.

Bale

I heart you Gareth. You, your barnet, your marauding runs down the wing. Your confidence and belief that you can beat a man. Your class technique and touch, the way you smash past the opposition. And the fact that you can have a fairly average quiet game in terms of lacking beastly front-line destruction, but still get four assists. Bale v Maicon? I'm positively drooling.

Crouch

Our current much maligned forward, because he's not prolific. Not sure why there's persistent stories linking him with moves to Stoke and Everton when Peter appears to be that awkward styled option that will cause one or two defensive problems for our CL opposition. He's going to score a few for us in Europe. Harry loves him. I can't see him leaving.

BAE

A&E. Not actually heard anyone call him this at Tottenham or anywhere else other than in the comments section of this blog and on one or two other blogs. He's meant to be reckless. A bit maverick with his positioning. And yet, all I see is continued improvement. He's got a bite about his play. We don't need to fret about this position.

Palacios

Hasn't regained his form, has games where he's on top of it and then several games where there is a distinct lack of concentration. Not sure what the answer is here. Sandro will gradually be introduced and there are whispers (as ever) of potentially signing another midfield for further depth for the games ahead. Wilson might end up being marginalised because of the competition, and his confidence continue to degrade. Harry needs to hug him harder. To me, he still looks like he's hurting, and to be honest, I don't blame him. But if he's detrimental to the side, then we've got to make the sacrifice and get him fixed up. On form, he's a revelation for us. At the moment, he's a risk.

Gomes

Nutter. I know he was probably genuinely injured the other night (pulled out of the Brazil squad), but f**king 'ell, how soft is he? I was actually pleasantly surprised he didn't start crying when Harry waved him to stay on the pitch. Looked like Harry was more annoyed than anything.

The Champions League Draw

Group A
Inter Milan, Werder Bremen, Tottenham, FC Twente.

Happy? Can't say there's an easy group at this stage. I mean come on, this is the premier competition in world club football. And what's the point in wanting to avoid certain teams? Arguably, its not a sexy group we could have got. It's not quite as glamorous as facing the White Storm or Barca and you could also argue that as a spectacle, playing Inter might be a touch overly defensive (on their part) but, who cares. This is what it's all about. We've got a chance. Can't wait to see how we get on and how Harry intends to compete against Rafa and his inherited champions of Europe.

So, can we now play the kids in the Carling Cup?

Transfer 'targets' and Redknappology

I don't think Harry is about to come out and say who we might be after or how close we are. It's all a bit messy what with him telling us we need 3 players to challenge (a few weeks back) to now saying we don't need to improve the squad. It's all part of the game, but its one of many contradictions. But what does it matter, as the stories that get printed never seem to refer back to any original statements any ways, so with every day, it's something new when in fact its something old and re-churned.

Of course we want to improve the squad. Consolidation is now imperative. Just no need for any massive massive changes. Two new arrivals is more than likely. I've got my fingers crossed for a major signing 'upfront' which will also involve the departure of Robbie Keane. Quite an obvious prediction there, but its one that sits well with me at the moment.

Harry Redknapp

The 4-0 win was Harry's 50th with Spurs, 96 matches into his THFC tenure.

P96 W50 - D21 - L25 - F163 - A103

Winning Percentage: 52% Overall Record: 63.02%

Triffic.

The Biggest Game in our History™...ever.

Champions League edition

Having missed the first leg when it was shown live, and then having to sit through the full coverage knowing the gory details of our Keystone indiscretion, well…it was far from being anywhere near an enjoyable 90 minutes. I sat uncomfortably, shifting around unable to stop myself from endless disapproving nodding of the head, gasping, tirades of swearing interspersed with the word 'unbelievable'. There was more face palming than Jean Luc Picard would do on a day that would have the Borg attack Federation outposts whilst Data experienced an identity crisis and the holo-decks malfunctioned. Again.

The opening 30 minutes were very much akin to the French film Irréversible, directed by Gaspar Noé. You know the one. Some of the most uneasy viewing you could possibly ever imagine having to endure. A tormenting battering and brutal penetration leaving a dejected body, physically and mentally destroyed on the ground. And that was just the football and Michael Dawson. Don't even get me started on the film and that scene in the underpass.

But unlike Monica Bellucci's character, we are not left for dead beyond recognition (can this blog post get any more bad taste? Yes it can, hold tight). We have been embarrassed, almost humiliated. It could have been far worse, but it wasn't, and 3-2 may as well be 1-0 to them, except it isn't because we have two away goals, so the advantage is with us. It has to be with us. How could we possibly not score at the Lane? Unless we get served up a lasagne the night before, hand delivered from the Marriott Hotel by David Dein. There is simply no excuse for anything less than a convincing victory and safe passage through to the gold-paved roads of the group stages.

Perhaps in the first game we underestimated the task ahead. I know many of us did when we heard the draw. It was the best draw we could have hoped for, but not anywhere near as easy as it looked on paper. But then, that's naivety on our part. I mean, it’s a team from Switzerland, no? How could they handle a 100mph EPL club? Handle them well they did. Artificial pitch? Yes it did have a slight influence on the game, the way the ball zinged and pinged around and the way our players failed to take to it. Wasn't so much a subconscious lapse because you could visibly see them panic and freeze. Our defenders slowed down to a snails pace whilst YB cut through us like a hot axe through a cockerel made entirely of butter. I guess we were unprepared, which is scandalous considering what's at stake, but it's happened and can never be changed, so redemption is with making sure it doesn't happen again.

The more you look back the more disparaged you will feel about our initial inability to cope with the occasion. It was a choke. A combination of Harry's heimlich manoeuvre, a couple of wasteful finishes by the hosts and Pav's scorcher saving the day.

And so onwards we go into the do or die game at the Lane. Lessons learnt. The biggest game in our history, ever. Failure would mean a distinct lack of DVD releases. No 'Barcelona 0 Spurs 1' diamond encrusted club shop exclusive. No special edition Opus with it's extra glossy CL chapter with players bum-slapping each other in the changing rooms whilst Bentley and JJ dunk Harry in the bath. No doubt, over in East London, the streets will be packed with people eating and drinking like it was the Coronation all over again, another glorious chapter in their history written, statues built etc etc. Sky Sports News would probably petition to have the day extended from twenty-four hours to forty-eight so they can enjoy running the same headline long into the night.

Screw all this.

COYS. To dare is to do stuff. Positive stuff. It's no exaggeration to say that simply being there, in the groups, will be monumental in terms of stature. Sure, it might turn out to be a seasons worth of adventures, but it's one I want to experience. To push on, the players need to want it just as much. No sympathetic apologetic dejection thank you very much. Leave all that boxed up sitting next to the Ark of the Covenant in some warehouse somewhere.

But this Spurs side doesn't dwell in the past. Harry has instilled an ethic that does not disappoint when our backs are up against it.

Let's get the potential injuries out the way first. Modric, dos Santos, Pav, Keane - all apparently no-go's. King should return and apparently so will Defoe. I have a feeling (I hope) the injury plight is not half as bad as it looks, Harry mind games, with our players rested rather than risked away to Stoke.

There's also question marks surrounding our lack of goals from forwards. But the season is but two games old. And even if we do have one or two key players missing, we have enough quality, on grass, at home, to do to the Young Boys what they did to us.

They are smart, they might  consider defending in numbers and counter-attacking. Frustrate us much like one or two managed last season. But do they have the class and belief to handle life outside of their plastic fantastic? The longer the game goes on with no goal then the more it will play on our minds, on the pitch and in the stands. This won't be easy. But then again the sheer noise the home faithful will make on the return of a glory glory night at the Lane, I can't think of anything better to settle the nerves of the players. YB have travelled to Turkey and won, so they won't be scared of the hallelujahs and drumming.

This is what it's all about. These types of pressures, expectations. Get use to it. The players should be loving the adrenalin rush. There's no hiding place. There is, but it's not an option. You either want it and go out and get it or you simply disappear into a dark corner and shake uncontrollably till you pass out. Everyone who isn't Lilywhite will want us to lose, more than ever. Embrace the hate. It means we're doing something right.

Early goal. An early goal will be perfect. I don't actually think they'll going to sit back, so I can't imagine them defending for 90 minutes. I reckon they will try to seek out an away goal positively knowing that if they succeed the game will open up for them because the pressure will be on us to try and claw something back. Which will leave them to be even more adventurous. If they do defend, then patience is key.

But worrying about the opposition is a wasteful exercise. Worrying about all the various possible scenarios that might play out  is equally wasteful. When Monica Bellucci is confronted in the underpass, how different things would have been had she pulled out a gun from her handbag and shot the bastard in the face.

See, we might have been caught short on their patch. But on home territory, under the floodlights, we'll be gripping firearms like bloodthirsty assassins, firing bullets, ripping flesh off the bone till all that’s left is dog food.

Harry made some astute changes in the first game. This time round, we'll be as full strength as selection will allow us. Meaning Huddlestone will start. King will bring some much required calm at the back. Then there's the Kraken. No turning to stone for young Gareth. Bale, the beast, the stud, the Dark Knight, the best left-sided left-winger in the country (What? Yes, I did just say that, f**k you if you don't agree).

It's time to step up again. It's the life we have chosen for ourselves. Step up and cut through them like a hot knife through Swiss chocolate. A white hot knife, in a room with the air con off and radiators on full whack. In fact, the chocolate is in the oven when the knife does the damage. I want to swim in their chocolate blood.

We have the opportunity to be a part of the elite and kick the ball around in their playground. I don't care about ifs and buts about us being out of our depth if we get there. What a load of boll*cks. I want this more than I want Jessica Alba tied and gagged in my basement.  

Get at them. Get at them the way we got at Man City, and get at them some more by finding the target, with no remorse. We've had far more tricky games recently. Far bigger tests of our guile and mentality. We didn't choke. I don't expect us to choke on Wednesday. I expect us to unzip and make them choke on us. Young Boys of Bern. We're going to hurt you. We're going to come from behind and beat you, beat you bad.

Ooh. Kenneth Williams would be proud.

COYFS. To dare is to f**king do.

How very Tottenhaming of us

I was in a restaurant in the middle of nowhere (might as well have been on the edge of the universe), with absolutely no type of mobile phone signal at all. 3G, Edge, cellular data of any type - Zilch. No texting, calling, no nothing. Couldn't possibly ask anyone else on the table (98% women) if I could borrow their non-o2 network phones just to er...check the...er...weather, as my cover as devoted partner to Mrs Spooky would have be blown (her birthday today). I gave up in the end, deciding the anticipation of tonight's result would drive me to much excitement when I browse into the BBC's footie page on arrival back home.

Ooh the disappointment. Akin to dressing up in a tuxedo for the prom only to find out at the end of the night that your sexy prom queen date has a penis tucked away Buffalo Bill style.

3-2 away night defeat to a supposedly mediocre (based on current domestic form I was told) side. I've not actually read the Beebs report - or any report, or browsed to any forum or spoken to a soul. The headline was all I had time for. Nervous Spurs, right? FFS. Not this shit again.

I'll hazard a guess and then you lot can write up your opinions below in the comments section for me to read over my morning bowl of cereal, as I have a crying baby daughter that is apparently far far far far more important than some tin-pot qualifying game (not my words, the missus).

"Spurs lost? Get the fuck out of here!"

So, my guesses:

1) We failed to turn up, getting all trembley in the knees by the significance of the occasion, failing to simply embrace and take hold of our own destiny, and instead preferring to hide in the corner, wetting ourselves. Young boys in Lilywhite.

2) Keystone Cops. Any episode.

3) Textbook Spurs, getting all the haters hating, do it the hard way because its the only way we know. Will end up stuffing them back in a glory glory night at the Lane.

I have a feeling it's an element of all of the above? I don't know, you tell me. And all this after looking every bit the CL team against Man City.

RIP, the dream is over, razor blades etc etc

What's that you say? Two away goals? Hmm...

Are we there yet?

Had you asked most THFC fanatics yesterday, what would be their ideal draw for the qualifying game required to pass through in order to gain access to the Champions League proper, they (much like Jermain Defoe) would have chosen Arsenal. Unfortunately thanks to them ducking out of the challenge (a technicality apparently) they were not a viable and realistic option. Pesky UEFA rules, it's a conspiracy I tells ya.

Instead, we faced the potential for some fairly tricky opposition. And got the supposed weakest of the lot. Not to say we should be dismissing the Young Boys Bern. But I can't help feeling content we are not travelling to Kiev or facing Sampdoria. Although I'm not going to jig until we bring back our Swiss opposition to WHL with a couple of away goals in tow (do they still play on astroturf?). It's the choice draw. Tottenham pull Young Boys apart. And so forth.

So, what do I know about them? Not a lot, other than the fact their stadium is in Wankdorf. Oh the hilarity that will no doubt be had with that one also. They finished second in the Swiss Super League last season and they caused a ickle upset by defeating Fenerbache in the 3rd qualifying round (winning 1-0 in Turkey). At the time of writing they have two points from three games in their domestic league. Not quite Ramosesque there. No doubt being tagged the underdogs will inspire them. Whether that's actually going to be enough for them, is more to our advantage.

Honestly, quality wise, I don’t know if they are capable of finding a different level and causing us grief. I know I don't know that much about them but I know enough to know that they are clearly not on the level of one or two other clubs who might have had us nervously biting our nails.

The way I see it is, if we freeze and go out to this lot, then I'll be standing outside the West Stand entrance with a basket of rotten fruit. All season long. A good, solid professional performance, and we'll be looking forward to some majestic travelling across Europe with some dream ties (hopefully). Barca away anyone?

Anyways, thanks to UEFA and the warm balls for the decent draw. Over to you Harry and co.

Additional:

Memo to Spurs players. Be confident, be proud of your confidence. But talk on the pitch, not off it. Ta.

Potential qualifiers for the CL

Thought I'd share this for clairty. Although tbh, there's still a chance of remaining a tad confused for a while longer until all leagues are done and dusted.

Thanks to Goonbasher (GG.co.uk) for bringing all this to our attention.

As you know we are seeded for the 4th round of the non-Champions qualifying round. Seeded and unseeded teams mentioned below relate directly to who we might be playing (remember these are 4th round seeded and unseeded sides - if you click on the link at the bottom of this blog post, then you can see the seeded/unseeded sides for round 1/2 including both non-champions and champions).

Seeded teams                   coef.              Unseeded teams                 coef.
------------------------ --- ----------------     ------------------------ --- ----------------
Sevilla                  Esp 108.951              Fenerbahçe *3            Tur  54.890
Werder Bremen            Ger >94.841              Dinamo Kiev *3           Ukr  42.910
Zenit St. Petersburg *3  Rus  61.258              CL-QR3 *3                     39.659 - 47.898
Tottenham Hotspur        Eng  56.371              Sampdoria                Ita >30.810

 Ajax *3                  Ned  55.309              AJ Auxerre               Fra  19.748

As you can see above, some clubs still need to get past round three (*3) which means if those qualifying from round 3 survive, then we potentially face either:

Fenerbahce

Dinamo Kiev

Sampdoria

Auxerre (possibly)

or 'another side'

(sides that might get through the second round, i.e. Celtic, Braga, PAOK, AA Gent and a few others).

And if (/prays) we get through that round, then (just to get you wet in anticipation) the below gives you an idea of what the four pots the clubs are drawn from will look like, allowing you to fantasise about some of the possible away trips and visits to the Lane we could be in for. Although just to reiterate - the below at this current time is just a prediction thanks to the sides (including us) that still have some work to do.

Group Stage (32 teams)

Pot 1                          coef.              Pot 2                          coef.
------------------------ --- ----------------     ------------------------ --- ----------------
FC Barcelona             Esp 136.951              Olympique Lyon           Fra  96.748
Manchester United        Eng 125.371              Werder Bremen *4         Ger >94.841
Chelsea                  Eng 118.371              Real Madrid              Esp  84.951
Arsenal                  Eng 115.371              AS Roma                  Ita >83.810
Bayern München           Ger>110.841              Shakhtar Donetsk         Ukr  73.910
Sevilla *4               Esp 108.951              Benfica                  Por  72.659
AC Milan                 Ita >99.810              Valencia                 Esp  66.951
Internazionale           Ita >98.810              Olympique Marseille      Fra  62.748


Pot 3                          coef.              Pot 4                          coef.
------------------------ --- ----------------     ------------------------ --- ----------------
Zenit St. Petersburg *3  Rus  61.258              FC København *3          Den  34.470
Panathinaikos            Gre  56.979              Spartak Moscow           Rus  33.758         
Tottenham Hotspur *4     Eng  56.371              Hapoel Tel-Aviv **       Isr  27.775         
Glasgow Rangers          Sco  56.158              Sparta Praha **          Cze  27.395         
Ajax *3                  Ned  55.309              FC Twente Enschede       Ned  25.309
Schalke 04               Ger >54.841              Rubin Kazan              Rus  21.758
FC Basel *3              Sui  48.675              CFR Cluj                 Rom  15.898
Anderlecht *3            Bel  42.580              Bursapor                 Tur   6.890

For all the gory details please visit this website of oracle quality - http://www.xs4all.nl/~kassiesa/bert/uefa/seedcl2010.html and keep an eye on the confirmation of the final qualifying teams for the pre-group stage.