Wear your heart on your sleeve

So, here I am. Having returned from a weekend no-internet sabbatical. I have seen nothing at all of our 3-2 home friendly win against Fiorentina. Dare I ask...is Robbie Keane showing signs of redemption in form? It's pre-season though, right? So I guess we can't read too much into it. Although dos Santos continues to pull out the tricks apparently. No sign of any new signings. Harry now spouting sound-bites that we are not in a position to challenge the upper tier unless he brings in 3 players. Everyone awaits to see what Citeh plan to do, considering their untold targets and little squad room. They buy, they need to sell. And it's open season for the rest of us.

Had some colourful conversations this weekend. One concerned our redevelopment project. The listed building that have caused such a fuss, you know the ones? The ones that have been derelict for so many years. Apparently, if they do remain they'll be knocked down eventually. It's called progress. All this fuss, apparently - will be for nothing. I'm not I..T..K..(I promise).

Also had a fellow Spurs fan say that Bellamy would be a great signing. You get the feeling nothing is going to happen until perhaps this week or next - with incomings and outgoings. Like I said, everyone is waiting for City to kick-start it. One signing will cause a knock-on effect. I don't like Bellamy. Spends too time injured, or at least that's the perception I get from him. Yes, he was stupendous at times last season for City. You get the feeling he's the type of player who would kill off the 'ickle' teams we sometimes make hard work out of. But is he a next-level player? I guess 'superstar' signings are hard to find in this day and age.

Only other news I've picked up on since browsing back on-line is Crouchie paying £800 to some hooker for sex. Honestly Peter, shop about mate, you probably only have to endure two hours of West End shopping with the missus to get it for free.

Apparently Liverpool want him back. I don't see how that would work out. Although someone is going to have to leave if we're going to boost our front line with a new addition. My money is still on Keane.

Also, the England squad. Bit of a mish-mash. Several players dropped. Perhaps because they under-performed? Or maybe Fabio wants to take a look at some new blood and has simply excluded one or two for that perhaps. Although quite how a few of them (guess) have made it back in there considering their World Cup experience...meh, who cares? Either way, it's good news for us. Last thing we need are injury concerns before the season has even started thanks to a nothing international game.

Less than a week to go now until the EPL is back. Epiphany time. Many people are sort of half knee-jerking about the new season. I'm not so sure much has changed from last season to this. If we show the same tenacity, we'll do just fine. City might be collecting players for fun, but they might find themselves in a similar position to last year. Fragmented, and thus 5th. Doesn't mean we should be dismissive of them or others. When is it ever easy? But considering what we achieved in that final month or so, I'd say we should trust more. Wear your heart on your sleeve, and just enjoy it.

Forward thinking the only way

It's the calm before the storm, right? Reading the tabloids, watching Sky Sports News or trying to decipher the cryptic inside knowledge from the 'In the Know' community is proving to be as enjoyable as an England World Cup performance. That's not very enjoyable. Pockets of my brain are haemorrhaging from the boredom. It's not exactly exciting, but then arguably, there is no Klinsmann type of signing out there in these rather lacklustre modern days. And no yoof either, it would seem as the kids with potential prefer to completely bypass the stepping stone clubs* and move straight into the elite. Surely there's a younger version of Berbatov out there? Well, one that won't want to move on a season later. If that's okay. Not asking for much here, just some hunger and loyalty.

*What's that? We're not a stepping stone club anyone?

I'm half jesting. We signed Modric a couple of years back, so there is plenty of hope, no doubt festering in the shadows ready to jump out and scream in our face when the time is right. Marquee signings are over-rated anyways.

Obviously, we as football fans, are selfish creatures we simply want want want, all of the time. And we want NOW.

We shift around uncomfortably like Gollum, obsessed with every single comment or alleged movement or sound-bite made, moaning and sighing.  And then analysing and theorising how said player would fit into our first eleven if signed and whether they will aid our progression. All of this from a couple of newspaper articles, hearsay, guess work, agent talk. It's the scraps we feed on because, usually, one of the scraps out of the many turns out to be a genuine link.

Gollum to be signed by ITV soon.

We've had very little this summer that we could possibly tag in the 'Levy and Harry were seriously looking at spending cash there' bracket. Joe Cole being the obvious one thanks to Harry telling us that we had offered him a contract. No massive surprise there. We knew the moment he became available that HR would want one of his former 'sons' on board the THFC Express.

Cole rejected a continued stay in London and opted for a central midfield role up at Liverpool, something Harry did nod towards when he flirted with Cole via the media (saying Cole's best position is central). How that would have worked out for us - I don't know. And if 'football reasons' means guaranteed first team football, then so be it. I'm not crying my eyes out over here. And regardless of Liverpool's current plight (it's a mess at Anfield no matter how their fans wish to dress up the truth) there is opportunity for Cole to shine there.

Good player is Cole on his day, and would have been a diamond signing if he arrived and accepted a little squad rotation. Whether the Chelsea fans prove to be right (Joe Slow according to them), we'll have to tune into the Hodgson Show to find out. 90k a week is a lot of money for a player who has hardly played in recent seasons thanks to injuries. I'd have accepted the risk if he had agreed our alleged 65k. And marginalising the likes of Huddlestone would have been just plain silly just for the sake of beefing up a position we don't have too much trouble with.

(Although a free-scoring midfielder would be nice, but don't think it's essential - at least not to Harry).

Still, this area (central mid or even left mid) is not the area we should be concerned about. I doubt very much both our gaffer and our manager are ignoring say the following must-haves:

- Another CB (because King and Woody are bit-part players for us, the latter someone who might not even return) for cover (Bassong and Dawson are in for another big season)

- A Forward

We've got Sandro on the way. We've got players who can adapt and play two positions (Modric, Bale) and we've got one or two who perhaps might just get an opportunity (dos Santos and dare I say The Rat).

But some of this will depend on who we finally get rid of, because with the new season approaching, we've yet to see the back of the deadwood.

Deadwood, is defined I guess by last season and personal opinion along with once more reading between the line. Keane. Hutton - are two players probably on their way. Pav is always linked with a departure.

It all comes down to this: Who and when we sign a forward. We can dream about one of the new kids on the block as much as we like (Dzeko, Suarez) or others of the ilk of long-term proven players like Fabiano and Raul (LOL). But might well end up with seasoned English based terrier such as Bellamy. Who happens to be a **** of a player. If he wasn't so injury prone (if I'm wrong, show me the stats, ta) then perhaps I'd swallow my pride and sort of half-admit and say 'okay then, he might be able to do a job for us'. But he does pick up knocks and although his off-the-field charity work is very commendable, his general persona in the dressing room is subject to far too much debate. Harry and him on the golf course? Happy days. Bellamy would show some tenacious bite we sometimes, on occasions bite. But then who knows what type of focus he'll have if he moves to N17. It's a risk. Cheap one probably. But still.

It's fairly imperative we get the signing for the forward position spot on. Someone who can hit the ground running, score and create. What? Did you say Bellamy? Oh ffs. Anyways, whether a Suarez could do that is altogether another discussion. 49 goals in the Dutch League means very little to me. No offence to them over there, but Kuyt was knocking in goals for fun and over here he's a defensive forward.

We do need a striker right? Defoe, Crouch, Pav...that's not enough. Keane staying would surprise me about us much as walking into my bedroom to find Jessica Alba there with the words 'I'm all yours' written across her waist in lip stick. And the three we do have, to expect them to handle the League and the CL and the cups? Nah. We need depth. Need quality. Because if we make the CL group stages, we need someone who can unlock those hefty seasoned doors. Otherwise, it's Defoe getting flagged offside all night long on Sky Sports.

So, as far as being all quiet on the transfer front, I don't care too much as long as we get a couple of tasty press conferences in the next few weeks. The papers can continue to link us to everyone and anyone, as long as the end result is more pieces for our Lilywhite jigsaw puzzle. The right pieces.

But even with everyone being so cautious nowadays, you'd think it would be near suicidal NOT to spend well this transfer window. What with the potentially hectic calender year ahead of us. Key game being that qualifier.

How many times around Christmas time have we wanted to see us sign players to consolidate our position and push forward only to be left disappointed? Then again, perhaps more trust for the gaffer is required. Considering what he achieved last season without the need to go loopy with Levy's transfer fund at that critical mid-way point.

In Harry we trust then. Right?

Spurs 'nearly signing' someone can be music to my ears

I was otherwise engaged yesterday (hence the lack of a morning/afternoon blog article) having spent the best part of four and a half hours as a guest of the Central Line thanks to a track problem, two defected trains and a signal failure.The London Underground is a bit like re-signing Pascal Chimbonda. Shambolic.

This morning’s journey was far more pleasant and was spent a little more productively putting together this light breakfast blog (something to read with your corn flakes). We’ll have to wait and see how the day progresses in the way of more meaty subject matter for me to write-up about. I'll leave the 'Beckham to Spurs' rumours alone for the minute.

So, first up, Daws. The lad might have ligament damage or it might just be a plain old fracture. Either way, not great. We have enough cover to muddle through, I’m sure. Summer isn’t too far off, so plenty of recovery time to be fit and ready for next season – as long as it’s not too serious an injury. I like Dawson. He recovered from his clumsy blip and has performed admirably for us since. Decent squad player who has a part to play at Spurs. I'm sure most of you are now scoffing at the suggestions he was Championship quality at best. Patience, not a virtue some of our fans are blessed with.

Elsewhere, I’ve basking in the glory that is the greatness of Spurs 'nearly' signing players. One player in particular. The two words that make me all giddy?

Craig. Bellamy.

It's scary that Harry wanted this player to spearhead our attack. Mr Angry was never the answer but Redknapp fancied him and made no qualms about it. So much so that our esteemed chairman made a bid or two, thankfully rejected by West Ham's new-founded 'we won't sell to Spurs' transfer policy. It finally ended with the backhanded suggestion that Man City's alleged interest in Palacios - which died the moment we gave up on Bellamy - was a form of blackmail to allow Hughes to complete the signing of the Welsh striker without any trouble. Which indicates that Bellamy was more interested in Spurs than he was City. Who said politics was dirty hasn’t spent enough time in the murky world of football.

As for the day Bellamy was officially unveiled as a City player, what a joyful day that was. It was one of those ‘where were you?’ moments akin to people who recall what they were doing on that fateful day in Dallas when JFK was blown away. I remember dancing with joy and skipping and singing to the birds when I read the SSN ticker. A transfer story is nothing until its trickling across your screen.

He’s gone on to score five goals in eleven appearances and has spent the rest of his time as a City player injured. It’s a concern that Harry actually thought he’d get some kind of positive impact from making him a Lilywhite and his comments post-near miss transfer about how he was surprised about the Spurs fans negativity towards the clubs interest in the player is naivety on the part of Redknapp. Fully fit all of the time, he might have an argument with spending £6M or £7M on him. We – as fans – might have to bite the bullet if a player has undoubted abilities even if he has characteristic impediments relating to personality. But he’s never fit. And he’s not very likable. The fact Levy sanctioned it is even more worrying.

Bringing Bellamy to White Hart Lane would be like a Romulan turning up to a birthday party in Klingon fancy dress. It’s just not fucking funny. Robbie Keane, a less angry Irish version of Craig Bellamy, was the better choice.

Elsewhere, I was not at all shocked or surprised when it was confirmed to me that Noel Gallagher (on the TalkSport show over the weekend with Russell Brand) churned out his ‘I’d rather smother my kid than let him support Spurs©’ line. You’ve heard this one before, right? Although last time he was quoted as saying “I've told him (his son) he can support his local team down here if that's what he wants - but he can't support Man Utd or Tottenham. I have an irrational loathing of Spurs, their fans and everything about that club”.

See what he’s done there? He’s taken something that he’s said before and he’s said it again, expecting everyone to be equally impressed with the same thing, said a little differently. I’m not sure. Can’t quite put my finger on it. But this reminds me of something. It’s familiar to me. The same thing, repeated. Same words but delivered a little differently. Not quite the same..but sounds the same...

Nope, can’t think. Not to worry.

Anyways, for all we know, Noel might have already done the deed. Seriously, has anyone ever seen this alleged son of Noel? Liam hasn’t. He’s only seen pictures. Anything can be done with photo-shop these days.

Noel's local team by the way is Arsenal. He’s got a season ticket there. I saw him standing alone.

And moving swiftly along, I’ll end this article with some wise words from Andy Gray who stated the following at the start of the season:

'I know Spurs have been linked with Arshavin but I think he has been over-hyped. I'm not a big fan of Modric either. He looks ordinary to me but I can only assume Juande Ramos knows what he is doing.'

This is the same Modric who is showing mad skillz all over the shop and the idle yet clinical lad Arshavin (too expensive for Levy at £20M because money was better spent on £16M Bentley and only cost Arsenal around £12M in the end) who yesterday evening scored four goals at Anfield, be it four very well taken gift wrapped goals that a player of his undoubted ability could not have possibly missed. Where does Arsene find these kids from? Apparently it was the most brilliant display from a forward he's ever seen. Yeeeeees. Of course it was Arsene. You don't miss a thing with those big round eyes of yours.

As for Andy, take a bow son. You know your football. You know it so very very well, with your graphics and last word antics and you're insightful insightfulness.

In fact you know it just as well as your colleague Martin ‘Nowhere in the world would you get a game like this. And that's why the world's broadcasters come to us’ Tyler.

Time to bring out that yellow ticker. Spread the word.

Tottenham's transfer policy explained...

White Hart Lane. The chairman’s office. A few weeks back...

HARRY: We need some proper players here.
LEVY: Ok, not a problem. Let me just get Damien in here and…
HARRY: Comolli? You sacked him.
LEVY: Oh yes, of course I did. Laugh out loud!
HARRY: Come on Daniel, breathe nice and slow, here...take a seat, I’ll fetch you a glass of water.
LEVY: I’m not sure I can make...make any suggestions.
HARRY: You let me worry about the targets. Make sure you’ve got the readies ready for Redknapp. HAHAHA, got to use that one next time I speak to the boys from the press.
LEVY: Who are you after?
HARRY: For a start, Defoe. They love ‘em here. We should bring him back.
LEVY: He’ll cost more than we sold him for.
HARRY: Pompey owe £5M for Kaboul, so we can write that off as part of the deal.
LEVY: That might just work. I’ll earmark £15M for Jermain.
HARRY: We also need a proper midfielder. A DM, holding type of midfielder. Not enough grit from the current lot.
LEVY: Any thoughts?
HARRY: Not sure at the minute. Shame Diarra went to Madrid. Might need to watch Match of the Day to get an idea of what’s available. Or take a trip to Africa. All expenses paid of course.
LEVY: Well, we could…
HARRY: What?
LEVY: There’s a formula Damien and myself would use when we signed players. We could possibly implement it now. It’s effective. Worked with Bale, Bentley, Gomes and Pav.
HARRY: I’m all ears.
LEVY: Well, based on Fantasy Football points accumulated and tabloid reporting and tv highlights we calculate who is considered to be the most hyped up player of the past month.
HARRY: Ok. Then what.
LEVY: We bid between £14M and £16M for him.
HARRY: You know...that might just work.
LEVY: There is another system which is equally as affective.
HARRY: Hold on, let me get a notepad.....go on…
LEVY: We buy whoever played well against us.
HARRY: That’s brilliant! Gives us plenty of targets to choose from. We’ll use this going forward.
LEVY: You don’t want to use your system?
HARRY: What system?
LEVY: ...
HARRY: ...
LEVY: Right. Targets.
HARRY: I want Bellamy.
LEVY: Hold on, we haven’t used the formula.
HARRY: He’s scoring goals, he’s on form. He’s got grit and determination.
LEVY: I’ll call West Ham.
HARRY: Bid £12M, that should do it. West Ham are desperate for the cash.
LEVY: Ok.
HARRY: And Defoe?
LEVY: Already made a bid.
HARRY: How?
LEVY: Blackberry.
HARRY: Triffic. Triffic. Love modern technology. Only had paper back in my day.
LEVY: I was right getting rid of the director of football system wasn’t I?
HARRY: Of course you were, of course. Can you use that Bluebell thingie to text Duxbury about Bellamy?
LEVY: Also done. Fingers slipped though, and I bid £15M for him.
HARRY: Triffic. We work well together, don’t we?
LEVY: We do. Director of football? Who needs one?
HARRY: Not us! Let’s get Appiah in for a trial.
LEVY: Harry, Harry, Harry…the formula! The formula!!
HARRY: I know, I know, but he’s a free agent.
LEVY: Sorry, he’s a what?
HARRY: A free agent.
LEVY: I don’t get it.
HARRY: He’s free. He won’t cost us anything.
LEVY: He won’t cost us anything?
HARRY: That’s right.
LEVY: So, he’ll cost us something?
HARRY: No, he won’t cost us anything...something...we don’t need to pay a transfer fee. He’s free.
LEVY: But...but someone needs to be paid.
HARRY: Well, there’s his wages to consider. Signing-on fee.
LEVY: Not...enough...someone...must...be...paid…
HARRY: Daniel...Daniel, breathe...that’s it...here’s your paper bag...breathe...that’s it...
LEVY: Can we talk about something else?
HARRY: Yeah, of course...of course.
LEVY: Good, good.
HARRY: How about Palacios?
LEVY: The Wigan player?
HARRY: Yes. Perfect fit, upgrade on Zokora.
LEVY: He can pass and tackle?
HARRY: Yes.
LEVY: Can he dance?
HARRY: I...I don’t know.
LEVY: Ok, hold on. Let me look at the formula…
HARRY: ...
LEVY: ...
HARRY: So...?
LEVY: Hold on a sec...And we...YES!! WOOOOOOOOOO!!! HE FITS THE BILL!!!!!
HARRY: Daniel, Dan mate...get down from up there, you’ll break your back!
LEVY: Stop your worrying! Today is a good day!
HARRY: So, Palacios?
LEVY: Texting via my Blackberry as I speak.
HARRY: Another £15M?
LEVY: Just under actually.
HARRY: Really?
LEVY: I’m feeling a little cheeky...

Hammers just say no to Spurs

Spurs fans. Deluded the lot of them. Always wearing their hearts on their sleeves. We tend to mug ourselves off far too often thanks mainly to the giddy excitement and endless dreams of glory. But that’s fine. We have a standing and purpose in football. For a club that isn’t quite big but is definitely not small, we do our bit in the entertainment stakes. If it’s aiming high pre-season, lapping up the tabloid hype, only to once more fail epically and end up in a transitional season (isn’t that every year?) or over-spending on players not worth a quarter of their price tag, we always make someone smile.

Be honest, I bet you neutrals can’t wait to email your mates that ‘Tottenham 3 Walthamstow 1’ picture again and post a joke in the Facebook Tottenham Relegation Party group. But it’s fine. No really it is. We’ve still managed to win silverware in every decade since the 50’s. Still sign top class players. Still play (attempt to) attacking football. And few English clubs have been earmarked for an Opus release. Not bad going I guess.

Was I just displaying that trait that we're hated for? Delusions of grandeur? Nope. It's called pride. Yes, it's actually ok to be proud even if its limited to a Milk Cup every now and again.

We are Spurs. We are not afraid to dream. And at least there’s never a second of boredom supporting them.

But what about West Ham United? Personally, I’ve never been one to dislike them and their tradition. They have an identity unlike the Charltons and Fulhams of this world. They always try to play free-flowing attractive football and have possessed some sublime flair players over the years. But apart from winning the World Cup, the only other thing of note they have achieved is that they stopped Spurs from claiming Champs League football. And the 1980 FA Cup win. But beating Spurs was better. The difference between the two clubs is that we actually manage an open bus parade now and again. Relegation and promotion litters their history far more than trophies.

It’s their fans I’ve always been unsure of. Hate Spurs first, support West Ham second. It’s no exaggeration. Main reason given is because we think we are bigger than they are. Well of course we are. They also love to laugh at our soap opera antics concerning chairman and managers. Spurs always good for a laugh, innit? But they always manage to out-do us when it comes to the wrong type of headlines (Tevez affair). That doesn't warrant an open bus parade by the way.

Set to be re-released by West Ham United, with Carlton Cole on vocals

Geographically, you could argue there’s a rivalry, but in terms of importance Arsenal and Chelsea are by far bigger rivals. Ok, so you’re going to point out to me that Arsenal and Chelsea have bigger fish to fry. They do. But take a seat in one of those games and tell me it doesn’t matter to both sets of fans. West Ham, home or away, always feels like the appetiser or dessert to the main course that is the NLD or bantering with those delightful Chelsea fans. Do we hate losing to them? Of course we do. But not half as much as losing to the goons or the celery waving lot.

So, when Scott Duxbury (chief executive at West Ham) tells everyone that he refuses to sell any of his players to Spurs ever again because we are local rivals, that’s fine. Yes, I said it’s fine. Why should he not protect his club from poachers? But the very act of standing up to us and saying 'NO' speaks volumes for the stature of both clubs. Wouldn't happen the other way round, would it? We are always happy to sell to West Ham.

We are of far more important significance to them than they are to us. Have you ever heard anyone from Spurs proclaiming that we must finish above West Ham? It’s a bit like saying we must finish above Boro. Although this season, I could do with just finishing above Stoke, WBA and Newcastle.

Maybe if West Ham concentrated on a higher objective rather than ‘finishing above Tottenham’ they might actually progress and improve as a club rather than being that team that sometimes ends up with more points than Spurs.

Fingers crossed Duxbury doesn’t suffer the indignity of administration or point’s deduction.

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank him so very much for not allowing us to buy Bellamy. You've done the Spurs faithful a massive massive favour there. Gives me yet another reason to not hate West Ham, to sit alongside that Brooking Cup final header.

Random footie thoughts on a Monday evening

Bellamy. Phew. The last thing we wanted was a 29 year old injury prone player who is basically a Cardiff born version of Robbie Keane. Just a bit more angry and with more tattoos. Add to it, not prolific, not reliable and has discipline issues. Handy with golf club, mind. At least Robbie does cartwheels. Or did once upon a time. Kaka, Robinho......Bellamy. School boys own stuff. It's like a dream team from SI's Football Manager 2009.

Modric doesn't spend enough time in forward positions. I'm stating the obvious, aren't I? When he does, he's sublime. We saw it on Sunday when he played Defoe in with a decisive little bullet pass which led to the equaliser. So can we have more of the Modric of the final 30 or so minutes from now on, rather than the deep in midfield, fighting for every ball and attempting to gain possession version? Not that seeing him get stuck in is a bad thing (we need a bit of that), but a player of his quality should be maximised as much as possible for his strengths. Stay forward and create and conduct play and let Zokora do the donkey work and play the holding role. Oh. Right. Yes of course. Zokora. Our £8M gem of a DM. Who cares if he has a woeful first touch and can't pass. The dance! That dance! The one he does after the game if we win. HAHAHAHA, that Zokora, he so craaaaaaaazy.

Palacios doesn't want to leave Wigan apparently, as he's settled and probably fancies a bigger move in the summer. No disputing his form, but maybe this is fates way of telling Spurs they don't have to always splash out almost £15M on the player of the moment. Palacios has come out of nowhere (Birmingham reserves), and as we've seen in the past - not every flavour of the month lasts the distance.

As for Robbie Keane. What a waste up there. He should have known his limits and stayed with the little club in Lilywhite.

Cheeky bid?

Hughes 1 Harry 0

The Times are apparently reporting that Man City will pull out of the deal for Palacios if Spurs end their interest in Craig Bellamy. Basically, we've both bid for the West Ham striker (our bid is surprisingly more according to reports this evening but West Ham do not want to do business with us). Bellamy might fancy a move to Spurs over City, so Hughes is obviously frustrated with our persistent bids distracting the player from joining him at Eastlands.

You following this? Reading between the lines, City don't actually want Palacios, but using the art of bluffing, are suggesting they could easily beat us to his signature, so if we want Wilson we have to end our interest in Bellmay.

So ridiculous, it just might be true.

Or maybe we're not really in for Bellamy. Hmm...

31 Days in January, 31 too many

Craig Bellamy has apparently gone on strike at West Ham to force them to accept a transfer bid from Spurs. No word on Appiah and whether his trial was successful enough to earn him a contract. Palacios has been virtually done for the past 6 hours, long enough it would seem for Utd and City to now be linked to the player. Jenas isn't going anywhere, which sounds like a description of him running around the midfield area looking for the ball. Bored of Adriano? Don't fret, because Crespo has now rejected us. Bless him. He actually thinks we were interested.

The Sunderland boss had a right old ding-dong go at us for chasing every player in the league, and using the media to do so (the old tap-dance trick), including the courting of his very own Kenwyne Jones. Even though, I'm pretty sure half the time Redknapp is reacting to questions asked after we've made a bid. So either (as 'arry has pointed out) someone within Spurs is leaking information, or agents are doing it once the player finds out a bid has been made for them. It's nothing new. Much like the over-inflated asking prices of said players. Including Jones by the way. Is £15M the new £5M? Did we learn nothing from the Darren Bent transfer? Why do we even encourage this? Keep paying it, they'll keep charging it.

Yes. It's January. And I'm uninspired. So much rumorwhoring. We've obviously bid for a number of players, and inquired for a few. Nothing unusual or unexpected in that. Not sure I agree with the likes of Jones and Bellamy, especially if I'm wearing my Future Hat™. Are these textbook Spurs player we'd sign under any other circumstance? However, if I'm sporting my Present Day Scarf™, then players of this ilk are possibly worthy of having in a relegation scrap. But how far can they take us?

See the paradox there? I seem to want to avoid relegation with the right type of player but also can't help thinking about how these signings will affect us later when we attempt to push forward to the giddy heights we lust for. But alas, gone it seems are the Berbatovesque type of sexy signings usually associated with N17. But is that a bad thing? Could you handle us signing a sublime player only to see him move on the moment Fergie gives him the wink? And sexy signings haven't ever given us the right winning mentality. Few Spurs sides over the past 10-15 years have had that element of ruthlessness. But boy, can we skip and shake our booty now and again.

Arguably, you could say Defoe was a superfluous signing. A sexy signing (which is anything that has Spurs fan's proclaiming the Second Coming). He's an ex-player, returning after a year gone. Cue the 'he's back home' sound-bites. But the Defoe who lost form isn't the type of player we'd want in a scrap. But then that Defoe had to contend with watching Keane and Berbatov strike up a partnership made in heaven. Anyone would suffer and want to get away from that. Way too much tongue and lingering looks between those two.

Palacios, though is one of those proper players Harry needs to help bulk up the team, but Palacios worked well for Wigan based on the fact that Wigan have structure and players who support each other and function within the tactics layed out. Wilson will have no time to bed-in, so trust is with Harry to know exactly how he plans to line-up his post-January Spurs side.

Being linked constantly to forwards rather than a left-winger is also reason to nervously crawl into a corner and sway backwards and forwards very slowly. Downing appears to be a non-starter, so who's the next lucky player to be tagged triffic by 'arry?

And am I a snob to stick my nose up at Bellamy? Or should I simply point to his general moaning attitude, injury issues and poor goal ratio as reason enough for us to keep the faith in our Russian lad?

So we are back to waiting and placing that ever so hard to part with trust in the manager and (gulp) chairman. Harry brings in the 'right' players, instils a backbone to the side, and we climb out of danger and away from the mire and settle for the comfort of 14th place. It's a nosebleed I'm sure we can all keep under control.

But then what? Levy's grand plan of buying young British players with sell-on value is non-existent. He's got a brand spanking new Stadium to think about. So having spent millions upon millions to compete for 4th spot, we are now spending millions to get out of the bottom three and if we do (which I'm sure we will) we'll have to spend millions more to relaunch the Top 4 dream, resorting back to bringing in those quintessential Tottenham flair players (because we're not happy without them). And we'll be back to where we were 3 or so years ago. Which means..............YES! WE'VE GOT OUR TOTTENHAM BACK!

I understand the masterplan now. Be patient, and we'll be back to our Barcelona shirt-wearing best in no time.

If only January never existed. Every day seems to last forever with the constant breaking news and inside information forum exclusive and yellow ticker on Sky Sports News.

15 days left. Wake me up in 16.

It's a mad mad mad mad world...

Can someone find a moment to help me define what exactly constitutes a ‘flop’? Because Gio do Santos appears to be the very personification of one according the media who, almost every other week, like to tell us that he isn’t wanted by Spurs and that he is set to be shifted out (PSG the current tabloid choice of the week).

This is the same Gio that Harry Redknapp couldn’t wait to have back from injury. Oh yes, the wee lad has been out for a while and hasn’t been able to play. Did you not know that? Regardless of his injury how dare he fail to impress chilling on the treatment table listening to his ipod. What a waste of money hey?

Honestly, get a grip.

I know it’s the Jan transfer window and it’s the time of year when journalists, sports writers and editors all over the country lobotomise each other with pencils as they conduct a symphony of monkeys on typewriters who churn out transfer story after transfer story to the theme tune of Saint and Greavise. What? You thought Jenas to Madrid wrote itself?

We all know that the stories we read whilst munching on our coco-pops are an amalgamation of half-truths, guess-work, the bleeding obvious and agent whispers. Add to the mix Harry Redknapp and his batphone and the press are practically drowning in gossip column exclusives.

Gio is a talent. He’s young and proven at all international levels he’s appeared at for Mexico. Not the finished article by a longshot. He obviously isn’t as naturally gifted or talented as Bojan or Messi – but then you’ll be hard pressed to find players of the same age who are. He left Barcelona simply because of the likes of Messi. There’s no way in for him. Joining Spurs and finding himself playing for a team with no direction, structure or confidence isn’t the ideal way to kick-start your life in the Premiership. Getting injured and being out for a lengthy period sort of puts the dampers on any type of progression.

So unless Redknapp is telling fibs (that’s unpossible) why on earth would we want to get rid of a player that hasn’t had a chance to shine? A creative player, one that tore it up in the U17 World Cup back in 2005 and again in the U20 World Cup in ’07. A player we could do with as an option once we sign some 'proper' up-for-a-relegation-battle fighters to give us the required backbone to help protect him as he dinks down the wing.

Gio isn’t the only player ‘on his way’ according to our esteemed journo friends and their monkey companions. Bentley is also on the list. It’s fair to say he has been a titanic disappointment. Here’s a player that is basically very decent on his day. He isn’t great, but he’s very good and would grace practically all Prem clubs (apart from the top 4 who do possesses ‘great’ quality). However, our David, is too distracted by the fact that he thinks he’s great. Highlights and Beckham comparisons aside, when he isn’t star-jumping David is trying way too hard rather than simply playing for the team and doing the simple things. We’ve seen this before. We saw it with Gomes. Confidence is drained and you can’t even muster up school-boy basics. But selling him so soon after signing him is a pointless exercise (although if there is one club that is masterful at being pointless it's us). If Spurs manage to claw back some form, Bentley will most likely begin to shine.

He’s still actually the wrong type of player for Spurs. A bit superfluous at times, even when ‘on form’. Not the backbone made of steel type of team player Spurs have been crying out for 20 years. But then when have we ever gone out and signed the right type of player?

Another one who is set to leave WHL is our dear beloved Jermaine Jenas. The perpetually potentially 'great' box-2-box player. An enigma. Undroppable for so many seasons at Spurs, doesn’t do much unless it’s against the likes of Derby or a depleted Arsenal side. Yet on occasions is somehow inexplicable ‘missed’ from the team when he doesn’t play. You know what I mean? You’ve heard Spurs fans say it:

“I hate to say it, but we missed Jenas today”

You can’t explain why, but you find yourself believing it and when he does play, you’re smashing the keyboard as you punch your frustrations posting on a Spurs message board calling him 'useless'. What does Jenas do exactly? It's not an easy question to answer.

JJ has been linked with (as mentioned earlier) Madrid and also Everton and Wigan and probably one or two other clubs, with his value measured between £3.5M to £8M. If Palacios arrives at the Lane (and he plays as a DM) then is it really Jenas under threat or Zokora? Or will Harry play Palacios and Zokora together? And what of Appiah? Is he the backup plan in case we fail to bring in a bog-standard £15M (or so) signing? Palacios and Modric in centre-mid will do me just fine.

Then you have the forwards. Defoe (can he actually hold up the ball or beat the offside trap?), Pav (he's not been the country for long) and Bent (on his way to Villa?). A mish-mash of styles, none of them suited to play with each other. Otherwise, why would we be courting the ever-smiling Craig 'who took a dump in my corn flakes?' Bellamy?

Then there’s the story that has somehow fallen under the media's radar concerning Arshavin. Arsenal haven’t actually made a bid (which explains Latcher’s insistent moaning) and Spurs and Zenit have long agreed a deal, the basis being that if nobody matches it then he signs for Spurs. Yep, that’s right. Transfer fee as well as personal terms all agreed and sorted. It was all agreed and sorted back at the last deadline, till around 11:40pm when Zenit started playing silly buggers again and the deal failed to complete by midnight. But the agreement stayed in place. If nobody bids the exact same amount of more, then Zenit have to process the deal cometh the deadline. And when is the deadline? 16th January. Today. Must be true cause I read it in an internet fourm, LOLZ.

If you’re going to ask me to hold onto my hat, don’t bother. I’ll probably be eating it later on. If those pesky monkeys haven’t got a hold of it before me.

Let’s sum up the weekend

3-1 Wigan win. Not vintage, but then again, we haven’t been outstanding at any point this season. Side was balanced if not perfect (by not perfect I'm referring to most of our players having an abundance of space with regards to climbing the personal improvement chart). One or two (or more) still need to get on top of their game. Patience? I’m sure they will buck up their ideas once the transfer window signings arrive at the Lodge.

Wigan, toothless, so home win was never in doubt. Bale on a winning side, so crack open that bottle of Bucks Fizz and get on with snorting those lines off that hookers cleavage. Might not happen again, our Gareth, celebrating a win. Man Utd next. Away. Have to adore those warm balls in the Cup draw.

Ghaly. If you search the labels (bottom of the blog) for Ghaly posts, you’ll see I’ve been critical of the lad in the past. What’s done is done. He fucked up. Sure that night against Blackburn, he was all over the place. More Ollie Reed than Christopher Columbus. But you couldn’t fault his effort. His reaction was an emotional knee-jerk. Other players out on the field were just as bad as Ghaly performance wise, but not as forward as him with the ball, so obviously if you’re going to fail you’re going to look twice as bad if you are attempting something twice as bold.

His Birmingham transfer collapse and the consequent complaints about training sessions again didn’t help the Ghaly PR machine.

Now he’s back, and it’s obvious Harry wants to try him out in the first team. Would have played on Friday but the crowd’s reaction – the idiotic minority – were at it again. Difficult to pin-point what type of fan this is. The one who prefers the negative to the positive. There’s plenty of them in the South Stand, and in every other stand. Not a majority, but enough to make an impact strong enough to make Harry change his mind on the substitution. The club have since had to release a statement on the official site to help mitigate the situation.

Boo the team – as a whole, at half-time – if you’re getting stuffed 3-0 and the performance has been shambolic. It gets a reaction, at least it should. But pin-pointing individuals, and then harassing them? Well, we know all fans love a bit of this. And we are no exception. And much like all sets of fans, when things aren’t that great, we tend to find it easier to have a go, with zero tolerance.

When things are great, loudest noise in the world, White Hart Lane shakes the foundations of the planet. Space time continuum gets ripped a new one. But groans and moans, we do that just as good.

I might not rate Zokora. Or Jenas. I’ve never boo’ed them. Never. Why should I? And why would I think that boo’ing them would actually gauge a positive reaction from them? A monstrous call to get it together would be about a million times better for the individual who’s struggling.

We are meant to be the 12th player. So giving it in the way of support is the logical thing, no? Well no. It seems some of our fans have found it far easier to give up on a player and make sure they get the message.

Nothing new in this. And Bentley/Ghaly aside, Jenas tends to get it along with a few other players who have lost form or struggling since return from injury.

Eboue, who was having a mare for the Arse, got applause on his return. Ok, sure. He didn’t take his shirt off and throw it aside. And much like Ghaly, he’s an average player. And you might argue that he shouldn’t be anywhere near our first team. But if you or I were the manager we’d have Sergio Agüero upfront with Kaka playing just behind him. So let Harry pick the team. Let Ghaly - whether you rate him or not – play. And then we can pass final judgement.

Modric doing 'the worm' old skool style

Elsewhere this weekend. Defoe has been receiving death threats to his home phone. Looks like his Pompey days are over and out. Whether Spurs is his destination, we’ll have to wait and see. Again, why he was sold in the first place considering the Berbatov situation at the time. But hey, old ground. Been there, done that about 1000 times already. Ironically, £20M for a player we sold for £9M? That’s some accountancy if we make the deal happen.

Downing has – or will be – handing in a transfer request. Uncertain about this one because I haven’t really taken much notice his weekly performances. Would mean having a left-winger for the first time in an age, so if you have another bottle of Bucks Fizz, keep it chilled.

Harry has also told us that we have ‘fantastic options’ in the transfer window, whether the Defoe deal happens or not. Fantastic is obviously debatable as a description if he means Bellamy. It’s not just his age (29) that bothers me, but personally, never liked his complaining/bitching attitude and his injury problems. He’s like a more gobby Robbie Keane, but far less likeable. Can he do a job for us? I’ll have to support Harry and the side he selects if Craig finds himself in it. If avoiding relegation means spending £8M on a West Ham player, then you know we’re in trouble. So let it happen if he can score the goals to lift us out of the bottom bit of the table.

At least Pav is finding his way a little more now. Learning the lingo and settling into English Prem life isn’t an over-night occurrence. As many seem to forget.

Utd in the 4th round. Again, yet another hiding to nothing up at OT. Makes you want to cry that.

Burnley at home on Tuesday night. Need a good tidy professional performance there. 4-0 will do me.

And no 'Stand up if you hate Arsenal' chants. Even if you want to annoy the stewards who ask you to sit down. There's eleven Spurs players out on the pitch. I know it's a bit drastic, but how about pushing aside all references to them lot, Judas and Defoe and concentrate on a bit of pro-Spurs support? I'm stuck up in the South upper stand on Tuesday as I forgot to reserve and purchase my seat in the lower tier. Bless me. No standing up all game for me then.

The nightmare after Christmas

Latest ITK info:

My friend knows someone within the West Ham medical team and has been told he is signing for us for approx £8m.

I think its a pretty credible source but what often happens is that the deal is 100% lined up agreed and then either club pulls the plug (the selling club because they receive a better offer or the buying club because they have a better deal in place elsewhere) hence why some ITK turns out not to be true.

Not sure if this is as well as or instead of Defoe.

RIP Tottenham Hotspur.