Vieira? Again? Harry is scaring me

Read this first. Ok, so let's summarise:

• We are "short" in midfield
• Lack of options are "scary"
• Three CM's are not enough
• O'Hara likely to return on Jan
• Interest in Patrick Vieira was "genuine"

I can't decide which one scares me the most. I'd say the continued and persistent obsession with Vieira is slightly ahead from the apparent realisation that we are lacking an additional CM. Considering we sold 2, sent 1 on loan and flirted for the entire summer with several targets, you'd think stating the obvious would simply illustrate our failure. Unless this is textbook Harry using ever so subtle kidology to get the best out of the bunch he has.

Reality is we do not need another CM. I know most are expecting Sandro in the new year. New breed Brazilian. Rather than run-down no bite Frenchman. Am I missing something with Vieira? If Harry does rate him and does think he can do a job, then that makes a lot of people - a lot of Spurs fans wrong. He looks spent for Inter and hardly ever plays. And when we all thought this horrific rumour had died a death, Harry goes and mentions his name not long after the former goon is saying how he thinks he can work well with Redknapp. How many days till the window opens? Don't answer that.

As for the rest of Harry's comments about being scared and lacking options...I don't think we need to fret much. It's a small compact unit, sure, we might be shagged if someone like Wilson gets injured but we spent the whole of the summer discussing this and hoping for an understudy to be signed, so lining up excuses doesn't interest me.

Between now and Jan, Hudd and Jenas can go about proving to Harry and us they can do a job - a proper one. And the CM we do look to sign in the new year is one that finally lays this sodding conundrum to rest for good.

Spurs transfer news 'updates'

So basically Leeds United have accepted a bid from Aston Villa for the highly-rated Fabian Delph and have placed on record (via their website) their appreciation for the honourable manner in which the Midlands club have conducted themselves in courting both club and player. Pesky Leeds have resisted approaches from 'other' clubs (the other being us and City no doubt). Would love to know what Ken Bates quantifies as 'honourable' so next time we go in for a Leeds youngster we don't get rejected. We've put quite a bit of wedge their way in recent years. Maybe we've taken things for granted this time and go burnt for it. Probably offered them a cheeky fish tank for the player. But don't fret lads. Bostock is better than Delph.

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Patrick Vieira has been dropped from France squad. The message from coach Raymond Domenech is simply: Sort out your future. Please do Patrick and head straight for the swamp. Still praying he signs for them lot so I can laugh my arse off. Bad news is that Moussa Sissoko has been drafted in as his replacement. No doubt his value will have risen off the back of this and possibly altered one or two other clubs to take a look at the talented youngster. Can we outsource the negotiations and get Comolli on the case? I still reckon Harry and Wenger are playing mind-games (or maybe one of them is) and are trying to out-fox each other into forcing the other one to sign Old Man Pat. Harry forcing Wenger to protect Vieira's scum legacy, Wenger trying to increase the players profile by suggesting he can still do a job in the Prem and make us believe he's worthy of a punt. It's the most stupid transfer 'saga' of the summer.

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Chelsea have come out and publicly stated they are not selling Joe Cole to anyone. More or less confirms genuine interest from us if they're rejecting any potential advancements on the player by stating on their website it's a no-go. Can put this one to bed I reckon. Doubt they would undermine Ancelotti if he's saying the player is staying (which I think he's said in interviews). So for now, Modric remains on the left. Gio by the way (who some of you would like to see given another chance) probably won't get one because (allegedly) the lad has a time-keeping issue and hardly ever turns up for training when he's meant to. ITK that.

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The Darren Bent to Sunderland transfer is now close to completion. It's been close for the past 15 hours or so. Thought I'd let you know because there's not a lot of coverage at the moment on this story about just how close he is to signing. Longest medical ever. It's being prolonged longer than a tantric night in with Sting.

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Klaas Jan-Huntelaar is apparently available on the cheap. £11M-£12M the price being touted. Bad news is AC Milan are apparently back in for him. It was a while back that Levy was apparently talking to Madrid and it seems like a lifetime ago when we were linked to RVN and others, but in that time you'd think there was some form of communication relating to the proflic Dutch star. We must have been interested in one of their players at the very least (I don't quite buy Harry's persistent 'if he's available we're interested comments' relating to Klaas as it's quite obvious the kid is available and has been all summer long). So you'd think we've inquired about the player or possibly even spoken to his representatives, and maybe failed to agree a monthly wage. Unless this is another epically long negotiation where Levy is biding his time. Let's hope there's a moneyshot at the end of it rather than limp embarrassment.

5 Reasons why we should sign Patrick Vieira

1) He possesses a wealth of experience and has a winning mentality.

2) It will murk the Arsenal fans to see an ex-player wearing our Lilywhite.

3) He will have a Davids effect, which will aid the squad on and off the pitch.

4) Has great technique and leadership skills.

5) Bargain signing for free.

That didn't feel quite right. Need to clear my head. Stick my finger down my throat.

Ok. Let's try this again.

5 Reasons why we should never sign Patrick Vieira

1) He's old. 5 years past his prime and discarded by them lot over there years back because Wenger knew the player was in decline. Has shown little in recent seasons to suggest he can have any kind of impact back in England. The fact he has won silverware and has done it whilst festering in the swamps of Highbury only tells me that his personal ambitions can not exactly be sitting high up in his list of priorities, let alone the ones Spurs have as a club looking to step up. And forgive me for being a traditionalist, but I'd much prefer a squad without him than one with him in it with the winning (dirty, cheating) mentality of an ex-gooner who got mentally battered by Roy Keane.

2) Signing an ex-Arsenal player who has struggled with injuries in the slow-paced Italian league and hardly played a full season for years will not murk a single gooner off as far as the rivalry with us is concerned. Sure, they would be angry to see one of their own - unquestionably a legend for them and a player that epitomises everything about their club (cheat, scum, insufferable personality) - wear our colours, but it will simply incite laughter to see us turn to a has-been as some form of inspiration to help us move forward. This is not like bringing Bentley or O'Hara to the Lane. Vieira is an ex-Arsenal captain and it's not like he's fucking them over and joining us in his prime now, is he?

3) The Davids effect? What, you mean piss off team-mates and get into punch-ups with younger players? Davids did some good at the club, but it's a fallacy to believe he was solely responsible in the way of a major uplift of form for the side. Watching videos of Dave Mackay would be more uplifting than having a player that has not a single quark of Tottenham in him pretend he cares about the success of the teams progress. Want to aid the team off and on the pitch? Sign a CM who is 24-27 years of age and can play as back-up to Palacios who will no doubt serve a ban or two for yellow cards during the season, which will leave us with a massive hole in central midfield if we don't have a proper understudy on the bench.

4) Great technique is something he possessed 5-6 years ago when playing in the fast paced Premier League. And you can still have great technique half a decade on and it can even make make you look good when you're playing in Serie A where you have plenty of time to light up a cigar and Twitter about the step-over you're about to do. Bring it back to the 1000mph hellmouth that is the EPL and you'll find yourself in a little spot of bother. A bit like Mr Magoo walking down a street in Pamplona during the Running of the Bulls festival. As for leadership skills, sure, he can lead himself downwards to the ground allowing gravity to embrace his falling body and hug the grass as he claims for a foul when one was not committed. Although I expect his ancient legs will give way to injury and be the main catalyst for further adventures on the turfs of England. Great leadership skills there. It's the missing link in our quest for turning us into contenders.

5) If you want something for free, then wait for the start of the season when no doubt we'll be treated to more raffle prizes at half-time when the club give away yet another Opus. £5M - £10M will get us a younger, hungrier battling midfielder with his whole career in front of him rather than behind him. The transfer market might be an over-bloated joke at the moment with any target we'd love being snapped up by the likes of City, but please let's not pretend there are no options out there. Christ, I'm almost missing Comolli. There, I said it out loud. He might have ballsed it up around 90% of the time with some of his inflated over-rated signings but at least he…actually, who am I kidding? He was crap. And I don't miss him. Even though someone without sight could have scouted Wilson Palacios as a must-have for the Spurs midfield I'm sure there are other players - in England and abroad - we can take a gamble on. We have scouts, right? We have You Tube, right?

Levy, Harry…don't force me into burning bagels outside the ground again. The hypocrisy hurts.

Never red. COYS.

Spurs set to sign Abbey Clancy

I’m back from the melting pot of Southern Turkey where I enjoyed temperatures in the mid-forties, plenty of alcoholic beverages and God forsaken no internet access. Bliss. I’m tanned, refreshed and completely relaxed, even though the stormy weather over Gatwick meant my flight back was delayed for several hours. However, returning to England meant I was about to drown in an abundance of missed Spurs news relating to players signed and sold.

I should have stayed away for another seven days.

Naughton and Walker signed from Sheffield United. Which is nice. Two new kids to destroy. Gareth Bale, you are no longer alone son.

Adel Taarabt has joined QPR on loan for the season. I don’t mind saying that I’m quite happy with this, in that the alternative was him leaving the club altogether. Jury still out on the showboating midfield starlet having a career at the Lane, so all eyes on how he manages to handle a full term in the Championship where hopefully his composure and decision making will progress in the right direction. You have to wonder if it will. If he was that full of potential would we not want to look after him closer to home? Or at least loan him out to a Prem club? I guess if you ignore Adel’s constant whinging and self-hype, there is little (at the moment) to suggest he is half as good as he thinks he is. Feet do the talking time.

No news on Negredo. Last bit of info I had from my Madrid ‘contact’ was an echo of what most of their fans seem to be in agreement about:

He is in his final hours as a Real Madrid player and will be leaving the club's base in Ireland very soon. This deal will probably be announced officially in the next week. I suppose Spurs went after him once they realised they couldn't get Huntelaar.

After making a perfect start to his presidency, Florentino has now made his first big mistake. I really hope it’s his last. Even with the buyback option, i don't think the club should have released such a promising young talent so easily, especially when there are other crappy players in the squad that need to be sold.

That was from the 17^th July. Nothing since. As for Huntelaar, I’m expecting him to turn up in red and white while we end up with Peter Crouch. Who, as a replacement for Bent, isn’t too shabby an option. But that’s a little bit like deciding that to get to where you want to be in a hurry you decide to skip instead of walk.

Crouch (bless his robotic bones) is not exactly a massive upgrade on what we have at the moment. What we have at the moment is a mish-mash of forwards who appear to have arrived at White Hart Lane like elephants walking towards the great graveyard. Apart from Defoe – Bent, Pav and Keane are now stuck firmly in the much-maligned category as we all struggle to understand what Harry is aiming for with regards to his forward line-up.

So what will Crouchie offer us other than a wonderfully gorgeous girlfriend sitting up in the stands? He’s shit in the air and he isn’t exactly prolific. But at least he does offer more than say Darren Bent, especially as a foil to Defoe. Yet still, what of Bent and Pav and Keano?

Even though Pompey have accepted our offer, Harry (interviewed on Sky Sports today) claims Levy is deep in talks and there is no deal currently or no fee agreed. So are Pompey playing silly buggers with their claims or after more money from another interested club?

Elsewhere, Hutton is apparently off to Everton although he appears to be playing for us against Celtic at Wembley today. More tabloid pish? Maybe, maybe not. Hutton isn’t the greatest defender but he attacks well. Just ask his dad. Moyes might get more out of him and we do have a ridiculous amount of full-backs, so if his off the field antics and his injury prone record are reasons to cash in and move on, then so be it.

And that’s it. No major mouth-watering signings in my absence. Patrick Vieira is still ‘making up his mind’ with regards to a move to Spurs. The ITK’s reckon he won’t be a constant first-team starter and Harry has been publicly speaking about him, almost like he is allowing us time to mentally prepare when he’s paraded wearing a Lilywhite shirt and holding up a Spurs scarf. As for the Harry comment relating to Sol Campbell (‘It will even it out...’) erm...no it won’t mate. Hush now. Let’s hope he doesn’t bring an awful amount of falling over shadows because unlike them lot over there, we don’t like fantastic cheats. Not that Vieira is anywhere near fantastic.