Ledley crowned King of England.....long live the King?

Tuesday afternoon round-up of the past weeks highlights.

Spiffing weekend with the win against Chelsea. Feet firmly back on the ground, right? I say that because even I got a little giddy with our victory. It amuses me that the tables have turned a little in our advantage. The little club from West London, with history you can trace back a couple of years, don't much fancy playing us. Suddenly we are flirting with the possibility of Europe, which appears to be winking in our direction and playfully lifting her skirt up, teasing us with her continental cheek. This has got some Spurs fans trembling at the knees with excitement. And this is the exact reason why other fans hate us. Far too emotional for our own good. A month or so back, relegation was still a word people shared in worried conversations, scared to ask where the next three points might come from. A week in football is a long time blah blah blah.

It's great that the players have finally settled and we are playing with confidence. And it's equally great that such is the non-event in the way of difference between a team just above the bottom three and one just below 7th spot in the table, that we can go from relegation fodder to potential Europa glory in the space of two games. No point on dwelling on what could have been had we picked up more points in the opening eight games (refer to Harry Redknapp for further analysis on this). I'm happy with anything above 10th. And if we did qualify for the soon to be revised version of the UEFA Cup, I don't believe it would be a distraction to getting it right in the Prem (which should be the overwhelming priority next season). Sure, we can kiss goodbye again to Saturday 3pm kick-offs, but considering how weak the opposition teams appear to be in the early rounds of the competition, we could use it to blood some youth players and reserves. Never say no to Europe. Time they gave the competition an extra twist. Winners qualify for the Champions League. Considering there are more runners-up and 3rd, 4th placed teams than actual champions, I don't see what harm it would. Apart from making the rich richer.

Still unbeaten against the Sky Sports Top 4 this season in the Prem. Only defeats (overall) coming in both Cups against Man Utd. Villa (who spent some time in 4th place) also beat us at the Lane. Strange old season. All that's left is for Robbie Keane to score a last minute winner in front of the Kop on the final day of the season, handing Man Utd the title. Can he play in that game? Someone mentioned how the FA will not allow it due to 'conflicting interest' (being the fact that he can pick up a winners medal due to appearance made for Liverpool, if the Reds win the league). Cant believe he would be interested in doing so considering his experience up there.

Aaron Lennon has signed an extension. I touched on this briefly in the match review for the Chelsea game. The fact he has signed on for a further two years and has stated he is happy at the club means exactly that, and there is no conceivable way for him to leave the club this summer, regardless of any possible £20M bids from Rafa or anyone else. From a business sense, it's obvious that the extension means if the player is sold then we can get more money for him. From a football perspective, he has extended his contract which means he does not want to leave the club. Which means that the club must laugh in the direction of anyone who comes knocking. There is no Robbie Keane or Michael Carrick reasoning on Aaron being sold this summer or the next. Memo to Levy. The door isn't just closed. It's double locked.

Same applies with Modric.

Congrats also to Aaron on his England call-up. Well deserved. Sparkling form, the type that makes him undroppable for Spurs. The more he develops the more unplayable he'll be for the opposition. Good news for us. Good news for the 3 Lions.

Talking of business sense, we've announced record figures for the six months ending on the 31st December 2008 (so that doesn't include the outgoings in the Jan transfer window). Levy via the official site:

"In a period of global economic recession this is a considerable achievement and we acknowledge that both the strength of our business and the fantastic loyalty shown by our supporters have helped ensure that these results have not been materially affected. We have benefited from having a robust business that is well financed and has continued to be able to support investment in the first team."

Yes, all very good. Well done. But this doesn't exactly turn me on. It's grand that in these days of debt-ridden football clubs we are in very healthy nick. We'd be even richer if we didn't spunk our money on players with inflated transfer values. So arguably, as strong as we are off it, we haven't been equally strong on it. But that has more to do with the people employed by Levy than it has to do with him directly, although he is still responsible. I'm not attempting to dig for the sake of it, but considering how much the club charges for tickets, it's no bleeding surprise we're so strong financially. We have a loyal fan base and regardless of the recession the country is going through, we don't appear to be turning our backs on the club as fans. So as long as the new stadium plans push ahead and we double our capacity, we'll be even richer. Which means even more money to spend (waste) on players we don't need. I guess my point is, when you are running a club like Spurs there is no excuse for running it into the ground.

What Scholar did was criminal, and what happened at Leeds, laughable. My criticism of Levy has always been the way he appears to confuse business decisions with ones of a footballing nature. Decent figures for sure, that won't look as bright when you subtract the transfer deals and the money spent on other ventures that will benefit the club in the long run (i.e the training ground facility). Merchandising is also down (I guess the irony in buying a Spurs mug is too much for some in the current climate) leaving Sky TV revenue and season ticket sales the only constant any club can rely on.

Consistenty ON the pitch is now required, so all the smart accountancy can support the only real progression fans care about.

Nice to see Adel and Gio doing well at their respective clubs (on loan) in the Championship. Adel, notching a winning goal for QPR over the weekend, is getting rave reviews for his quick feet and clever play. Has to be part of our squad for next season. Gio is also a player that the club should hold onto. If anything because getting rid of him before he has had the chance to prove himself at Spurs in the Prem is harsh. But when you compare Adel's comments about wanting to return to Spurs to prove himself to Gio's who is far more ambiguous in where his future lies - you wonder if a decision has already been made on the latters future.

Hutton is on the way back. Looked good in his warm-up, which took place outside a pub with his dad.

King for England? Harry is furious. I can understand why. On paper you'd have to be concerned as a Spurs fan if King plays a part for England on the pitch. It would probably mean he can't play for Spurs the following week. Not sure what Capello wants out of this. If he took King to a major tournament, would he be there to cover? And if he did, it would still be a case of waiting for his knee to lose the swelling. Maybe I'm biased, but why Woodgate isn't in the squad as an alternative to Terry and Ferdinand is a complete mystery to me. As for King, if it wasn't for his dodgy knee he'd be number one choice. Brilliant player who deserves an international career, but will never have one of any real substance. Personally, I think having him part of the England squad is nice recognition to what he has achieved as a player who has 'retired' from full training. But if there is a chance he will play, Ledders will have to consider the risks. Spurs has to be his priority. Being his bread and butter. Which is probably the reason Harry is a little pissed off.

But alas, it's over before it's began and King is back at Spurs to continue his 'individual training programme'. So he won't be taking part in the friendly on Saturday. And will probably never be called up again. What England's medical staff and Fabio thought they could do with the lad is anyones guess considering how well known his problems with fitness are.

England can live without him. We can't.

The Astonishing Spurs Men

Welcome to the Levy Institute for Mediocre Learning, formerly the Levy School for Ungifted Players. The worldwide headquarters of the S-Corporation.

These uncanny S-Men in their white and blue uniforms do not do anything by chance. They’re the result of a sudden back step in footballing evolution, latent with inconsistent abilities which generally manifest themselves in games against lesser opposition.

Outsiders harbour an intense laughter fit for these Spurs players (Homo Inferiors), who are regarded by a number of TV pundits and message board users as the epitome of average and are thus widely viewed as a non-event threat-wise to the Big Four (© Sky Sports).

The S-Men have been funded by the benevolent Professor Daniel Levy who has been at the helm of the academy for several years now, overseeing the training of young over-priced players with exaggerated potentials with the misguided agenda to help protect them from the evil that is the all-seeing Wengeto, the rich and brutal Head-Hunters and other threats like away games, hotel food and relegation.

Professor L has what he believes to be an astonishing rota of Spurs players, formally aided by the scouting super-computer Cerebrolli which helped him detect over-rated players the world over. The S-Men flatter to deceive. Without spirit, guile and pride they ghost through 90 minutes, a shadow of their potential and their black and white forefathers.

This is...

T H E ~ S – M E N

“I’m the best at what I do, but what I do isn’t very good” – Jelverine

Professor L

Species: Chairman
Notable aliases: Daniel Levy, The Master of Money, The Accountant
Abilities: Using mind control has the ability to manipulate the masses into buying over-priced merchandise and other clubs into giving him inflated amounts of money for unwanted members of the team. Memory manipulation via official club statements allows him to re-write past events and avoid prolonged backlashes when removing a manager. Is able to exponentially fund the Institute with special DVD releases of score draws and the £4000 coffee-table Opus. Inventor of The Foundation which is a weapon of mass destruction that is used to punish those who dare attempt to outsmart him. There's uncertainty over what his true agenda is.

The Escapist

Species: Manager
Notable aliases: Harry Redknapp, Houdini, Judas, The Tick
Abilities: The overseer of curricula and academic aspects, teaching the science of football and the complex mathematics of passing the ball from one white shirt to another. Capable of reality warping, manifested as probability alteration and magic; Redknapp has altered reality with the three simple words “Down to barebones” on numerous occasions. However, the reality warp fades after a short time, leaving him with an uphill struggle to once more achieve a miracle before he can regain the power to muster up another realtity warp. Is also able to teleport from one location to the next in a blink of an eye.

Incapable

Species: Defensive Midfield
Notable aliases: Didier Zokora, Carrick Replacement, Holding midfielder, International class
Abilities: Self absorption of own footballing skills through mere contact with other professional players, be it his own team mates or the opposition, and through simple contact with the ball. The longer on the pitch the longer Zokora retains the loss of his footballing skills. If he remains on the pitch long enough the absorption spreads to his fellow team members and results in team-wide failure. This potentially fatal power prevents him from making true contact with the ball, hence the diabolical first touch. Is also able to run with the ball at locomotive speeds in one direction and dance.

The Enigma

Species: Forward
Notable aliases: Darren Bent
Abilities: Instinctively struggles to know present location on field and loses all sense of positional awareness the moment he steps out on it thanks to the generation of magnetic fields used to manipulate the space around him so that he is constantly isolated and nowhere near the run of play. Can still muster up a goal from nothing, via a deflection/lucky bounce/poor back pass/off his shin.

Starjump

Species: Midfielder
Notable aliases: David Bentley, The New Beckham
Abilities: The pin up boy of the S-Men and a former member of The Arsenal Club. Can kick balls into rubbish tips from great distance. Has the ability of copying others who possess superhuman powers and abilities (David Beckham being the energy source he attempts to tap into). But possession of these astronomical abilities have yet to materialise other than one particular creative bomb launched from centre-midfield that silenced his former team-mates at the Emirates. Confident, assured and assertive off the pitch, non-existent on it. Does look good with hair highlights.

Jinxy

Species: Left-back, left-midfielder
Notable aliases: Gareth Bale, The Hoodoo
Abilities: Incredible 'bad-luck' through subconscious manipulation of quantum probability on the pitch. Signature weapon allows him to create a vortex that sucks all possibility of victory into it and sends it to oblivion forever.

Mercenary

Species: Fullback
Notable aliases: Pascal Chimbonda, Shimbomba
Abilities: Master thief, using his hypnotic charm into making others around him think he is a far better player than he is and thus getting minted with the aid of the illusion. No secret he wanted to leave the S-Men, and found himself swaggering his way out of the Institute to Sunderland and then back again. Has the ability to change the course of a football match by trying to dribble his way out of his own penalty area which results with the opposition gaining advantage.

Flapper

Species: Goalkeeper
Notable aliases: Gomes, ffs
Abilities: Exquisite sense of footballing geometry. High sense of spatial awareness that allows him to position himself into impossibly stupid positions giving him no chance of getting the ball. Fires concussive long balls to forwards. A master strategist and tactician at master-stroking a loss of at least 10 points per season down to his ability to create a goal out of nothing for the opposition. Ability to cause nausea, disorientation and unconsciousness - usually self-inflicted. Has comic awareness and forever ‘breaks the fourth wall’, as he smiles to the audience as they all ask ‘What the fuck are you doing now?’

Jerlverine

Species: Box-to-box Midfielder
Notable aliases: Jermaine Jenas, The Goldfish, Jenius, potentially world-class
Abilities: Regenerative healing factor that allows him to be selected again and again and again and again. Strength, stamina, agility and reflexes in abundance but due to his jelly-laced skeletal structure is prone to disappearing on the field of play (not to be confused with invisibility). Simply fails to stand up when faced with true advisory. Also possesses retractable ‘claws’ otherwise known as his feet, which retract in one-on-one situations, penalty taking, retrieving second balls and crunching tackles. Recently went missing (was he injured or did he venture out in a mission of self-discovery?) allegedly returning to the scene of the clandestine project in Nottingham which turns unwilling beings into footballers.

Cumbersome

Species: Midfielder Notable aliases: Tom Huddlestone, The New Hoddle, The Future
Abilities: Ability to transform his body into immovable steel, granting him zero mobility and durability as he loses himself between the midfield and his own penalty area unable to defend or attack. Can pass the ball, much like any other half decent midfielder is capable of. Can hit the ball ‘sweetly’, much like any other half decent midfielder is capable of. Requires healthy portions of Ketchup and mayo with his food to help retain abilities.

There we have it. The S-Men. There are others but this particular group are the endangered species. These S-Men are fighting for their very survival and self-respect with the single ambition to succeed expectations.

Will they help avoid decimation and extinction?

Stay tuned to find out.

I Love Daniel Levy

Firstly, I’ll apologise in advance for anyone who is browsing into this blog for the first time ever. This is an editorial written especially for the girls and boys of the official Tottenham Hotspur forum. I would have signed up to it myself and posted my response there but unfortunately to sign up you need to include info relating to your season ticket or membership. Which means, if I did, I’d be giving away my identity. The thread that has inspired me to write this article is probably no more than a ploy by Daniel Levy to catch me out. I wasn’t born yesterday Mr Chairman, no sir.

So, don’t judge me on the basis of this vanity enriched rant.

To be honest I don’t care whether people like me or this blog. I write for myself and for people who have followed my letters to the chairman over the past several years. Blogging is a bit like Marmite. My articles range from long winded rants to match reports and caption competitions. It’s not a run of the mill everything in black and white website. You’ll have one reaction from one person for a blog entry and a completely opposite reaction to the same entry by someone else. And I love that. Everyone has a differing opinion. Nothing ground-breaking with that.

Opinions aside, it all depends on how serious you take yourself and whether you have an ability to read between the lines. Ironically, I get it that I’m taking myself too seriously by writing this up. But I can assure it has more to do with the fact that I have ten minutes to spare than it does ego.

So this is my reaction to the thread on the official forum that had one brave chap post and tell everyone he likes my blog. What a mistake to make. The reaction, overwhelmingly, was that (according to the residents there) my blog is utter crap. I’m not going to lie. I felt all warm inside. It’s been called worse.

The thread then turned into a pro/anti Levy ‘discussion’ (which included an invite for one of the members to meet up outside the pub to continue the discussion face to face – I guess moderation isn’t a key element in their community).

There are various sound-bites about Levy being a leader and one that we can be proud of and that he makes mistakes but usually gets it right. And that basing our opinion on our league position and transfers is very childish. Levy is apparently a good businessman and one that has made us profitable and respectable. Blaming him is possibly a kneejerk for wanting to place blame on someone, anyone. Probably because we live in a blame culture.

Talking of which, I don’t blame anyone for thinking I’m loony tunes if they glance quickly at my blog. I guess most will browse off and never return because they take every word literally or simply dislike my style. In fact I've changed my mind and I’m not even going to explain myself on this. People who can be arsed will work it out for themselves. If you don’t or can’t then that’s cool. Plenty of forums and blogs out there that I’m sure are tailored just fine for you. I’m not everyone’s English cup of tea. This whole blog was birthed from Glory Glory.co.uk. Maybe it should have stayed there.

Now to attempt to answer one or two of those sound-bites, I’d like to state that Daniel Levy has made some major errors in judgement. Critical ones.

He has already admitted that the reason he appointed a Director of Football was because he needed to entrust someone to take care of the footballing matters because he knows nothing about football. His words. And it turned out great for him because he could blame the Ramos appointment on Comolli and use him as a scapegoat when it all went tits up and then play the PR game by going back to basics with the Harry appointment.

For a club that is so financially stable and quite obviously has money to waste, we don’t actually make any progress. In the true sense of the word. I guess that’s fine in some ways. We are not a yo-yo club like West Ham and we are not shambolic politically like Newcastle. We have our soap opera elements that the press love to hate on us for. But so has every club. But is that a good enough excuse to hide the cracks (the ones purely related to football management) that constantly re-appear no matter how many times we plaster over them?

Back in the day, fans on the terraces never spoke that much about the chairman and the board of directors. It's not lost on me that Irving Scholar messed the club up. And it's not lost on me that to be able to compete in the transfer market you need a foundation.

The foundation is here. It’s holding us up with strong ENIC bricks. We just don’t want to turn the bungalow into a high rise. We want to build on the foundation. We talk the talk. We bring in the builders. They just turn out to be cowboys and the roof caves in.

The footballing side of the club is not run with any cohesiveness. Whether there’s a plan in place or a transfer policy (why nobody dared question the ‘buy them young sell them for a massive profit’ tactic employed by Levy still astounds me) it’s always seemed a little superficial. And now it's almost desperate with the Redknapp appointment and his choice in transfer policy.

When I look back at the summer, so blinded by the Berbatov saga, I actually initially supported Levy's stance until it dawned on me pretty quickly that his actions and delays cost us heavily. But that’s ok. Because we can spend £15M a time on any player we wish because we got no debt, innit. So much so, we no await planning permission for a new stadium.

What? You waiting for me to slate him for that too? Hmm. Nope. But the point is one of overall responsibility.

Maybe, in some ways, expectations from the media and fans, pressure the chairman. Maybe our impatience plays a part. Maybe the chairman is weak.

If you look close enough, you’ll understand the in-joke.

Sorry for being pretentious and cryptic. To be honest, I could be writing a blog article about Darren Bent and his latest whinge, and I’d much rather be doing that. But I guess ego does play a part after all.

Spurs and Survival: It's time to get medieval

A regular feature on this blog has been a reoccurring series following a set of fixtures that are meant to provide the much needed impetus (and points) to finally steer us clear of the scary little mire that is the bottom three seats of the Premiership. A place best avoided much like a seedy back room in a pawn shop resembling a dungeon.

When Harry Redknapp joined, I gave him 12 games to get us out of trouble. Results were not too shabby. The 12 games in question made up the fabled Challenge Spurs™ (The Dirty Dozen) series. But when that ended, we failed to capitalise on the points tally acquired and managed to follow it up with a pretty awful run of results, followed by another mixed bag (as chronicled in the V for Victory™ series).

This meant we failed to pull ourselves away from the mix down at the bottom. So these run of fixtures never made a difference win, lose or draw with regards to climbing the table (obviously the points picked up have been all important, otherwise we'd be doomed by now). And the teams around us have also remained fairly constant with poor and inconsistent form. Not a lot has changed in the past few months.

We now find ourselves with the run-in and every game a must-win (not every game is winnable, but that's the attitude required. Deja vu, right?). Which ironically means, that if there was a time to scrutinise our fixture list and welcome back Challenge Spurs™, it’s now. Fail, and there's nothing but Championship fixtures to look forward to.

We have 13 games left - 6 at home and 7 away.

We've already driven the little Honda into Marcellus Wallace. Donuts and coffee hitting the pavement. And arguably, we’ve already stumbled our way into the Mason-Dixie pawn shop. So squeaky-bum time is potentially moments away. Zed will see to that. Get yourself caught up in the moment and you might find it more than just a bit tricky to get out. All tied up and gagged, praying for a miracle. Zed has us in his sights. Relegation. Relegation has us in its sights. The spider has caught itself a fly.

"Bring out The Gimp"
"I think The Gimp is sleepin'"

In this case, the Gimp is not Jermaine Jenas. And neither is it sleeping. The Gimp is the monkey on our back. Nope, not Gareth Bale (he's mostly on the bench nowadays). The Gimp is the persistent match-losing lack of concentration that has seen us defeat ourselves in the last four league away games - all in the final minutes.

It’s a mental block. Lack of concentration, belief. A fundamental lack of self-respect. Confidence, pride...lack of. Tag whatever you wish to it. Its a Spurs trait we always blame when you know what hits the fan.

Last time the Gimp persevered, it cost us Champions League (forget the last game and think back to the amount of points lost in the final minutes both home and away during the course of that season). For it to occur four times on the trot, all away from the Lane this season, is a sure sign that winning is sometimes a task too hard for some of our players. They welcome the Gimp and it's all too familiar hooded face of sadomasochistic defeatism. We need to punch the Gimp in the head several times.

"So, we're cool?"

We are at the point of no second chances now. If you sit down with your calculator or Prem Table predictor website tool, the possibility of us being unsafe and at risk on the final game is possible if you base our final set of games and likely outcomes on prior form. Especially on away form.

We are likely to pick up points at home. Although it’s ominous that we haven't done that amazingly well so far. But the home games are now imperative. No possible excuse could appease us if we don't prove successful at WHL. As for the away games, they can be grouped into two sections:

The 'No Chance in Hell' List

Man Utd
Aston Villa
Everton
Liverpool

The 'Doubtful we'll win' List

Hull City
Blackburn Rovers
Sunderland

Lose to Hull away, and the game against Boro at home turns into a Cup final, to follow on from that other Cup final we play out a few days earlier. Sunderland away has yet to be slotted into the schedule having been postponed. So where is the away win(s) going to happen? We have a good record at Everton, don't we?

I prefer to think that Spurs will do what they usually do in such desperate times. Instinctively react and do so positively. Almost nonchalantly. Bit like the goals that came at the end of the semi-final against Burnley. We waited until we were 3-0 down and (practically) out of the Cup before showing a bit of quality and pulling through. It's textbook Spurs. It's eternally frustrating. Back to the home games left to play:

The 'Must Not Drop Points' List

Boro
Chelsea
West Ham
Newcastle
WBA
Man City

Apart from Chelsea (who might be rejuvenated a little by the time we play them) the other games in this list have to be victories in our favour. Without any disrespect, they are winnable. On paper. That's a fans perspective. The players have to be ruthless and fearless against the lot of them.Whether it's Chelsea or WBA.

The other clubs around us down at the bottom will no doubt struggle till the closing day of the season, but the desperation of needing them to lose to help us out is something I will not embrace.

It’s in our hands. Again. We can't be hoping other results go in our favour. We have to control our own destiny (cringe away).

We are in need for an inspired Butch with a Samurai sword moment to signal our intent for survival.

And we are equipped for it. Palacios, big and strong and inspiring. Keane will rediscover form and the back of the net. Dawson will continue to led in the absence of King. Lennon, who's energy this season has never faltered, will buzz around and torment. Modric possesses the quality that will help unlock a defence or two and allow Pav and Bent to get in amongst the goals. And Harry will make sure it all tick tocks clockwise.

How the Carling Cup final or the UEFA Cup games will affect squad moral is not something I wish to dwell on. It's not quite like last season where the players went to sleep after the 2-1 Wembley win and forgot how to win in the Prem. There's a clear distinction between one off games like the Final and the bread and butter of the Prem this term. And the latter is clearly of more importance in the long run.

Butch, driving into Marcellus, allowed destiny to take them to the pawn shop and perilously close to a humiliating death. The death part was avoided. The humiliation unavoidable. The will to survive saw them through it, bloody in victory and revenge.

Much like the two of them, its down to us that we are in this predicament. We've led ourselves here. Destiny playing its part with comparative ease. We've suffered the humiliation. We now need to stay clear of death. So here's to a quick sharp exit, riding off on a Chopper, with a happy ending.

‘Who’s Relegation?’
‘Relegations dead, baby, Relegations dead’

I hate football

I hate football. There I said it.

One of the most obvious knee-jerks after a defeat such as the one experienced up at the Reebok is to hold your head in your hands and cry uncontrollably, wiping away the tears as you ask yourself:

“Why? Why do I care more than the players? Why can't the players care as much as me?"

Why? Well simply because we – the fans – are the heart beat of the club. We are the one constant through its existence. We retain the values and the ambitions that the club should be aspiring to. When players are long gone, we are still here cheering and singing and supporting the next generation to wear the colours. The history of the club is embedded within us from the first time we watch the team play and stays with us as passionately and obsessively throughout our lifetime. It’s religious in scope.

And we are all together in it. We all experience the highs and the lows. The emotions and the glory. The depression and the disgust.

"Triffic"

The reason we want to cry (or if you are too manly for Gascoignesque waterworks) shake your fists furiously at the teams abject display whilst using colourful language, is because we care so much it hurts and it hurts so much that we question whether our loyalty is misplaced. It’s a weak moment. One we always recover from. It’s sometimes easier to pretend to care less about something because it gives the illusion that you won’t hurt too much from the pain.

It’s part of our make-up as fans. Most of the time we complain and disagree with each other whilst we wait patiently (sometimes for decades) for something resembling true progression from the club before we all hold hands in unity. But that never stops us from wearing our hearts on our sleeves.

We simply love the club. Unconditionally. So when we watch a team display the same inept and dysfunctional quirks week after week, whilst the manager quotes excuses from himself from the previous defeat and the one before that, you begin to wonder why it’s so impossible for the players to react positively when the problems are so obvious?

We all know players don’t feel the same type of loyalty as fans do. That isn’t ground-breaking news. But self-pride should be evident enough. And yet its rarely evident on the pitch. Just in patches or certain games.

Other clubs have managed to capture this pride and spirit, and although some sides do not have the quality to see them achieve success others do have the quality and the combination is unequalled (see Man Utd for more details).

NLD up next. Shudder.

This crisis we find ourselves in wasn’t birthed this season. It’s been a long time coming. Our away form has been utter crap for years and years now. We never compete consistently away from WHL to really be able to drive forward as a strong side who could challenge for Europe every single season with comparative ease. Martin Jol, bless him, changed the status quo momentarily. What we’ve managed to do since has been well documented. A mish-mashed squad of individuals who struggle to form a cohesive unit. We entertain like no other club, on and off the pitch. But the main gripes are never sorted out.

Set-pieces, defending, balance of squad. Groundhog Day.

This is not just based on the Bolton result, where the score flattered us tbh. We did nothing much for 65 minutes and reacted far too late and only when Bolton relaxed. Once we made it 2-2, they woke up again and scored, thanks to help from us who sat back when we equalised. We appear to hold our own destiny in our hands every single week. Losing (I think it’s) four games away from home in the final minutes is pretty scandalous stuff. And the reason behind it?

Mental strength. Or lack of.

We have a deep-rooted psychological problem. We have players that want to play football, who want to play it about and score magnificent goals and buzz as the ball pings with neat and tidy one-touch skills. But it’s all plastic rather than gold because turning up and wanting to be great and wanting to play great is not enough. We – individually and as a team – need to want to win all the battles across the pitch like our lives depend on it. We need to clatter the opposition. Bully them. Show we mean business instead of all this limp excuse for spirit we witness most weeks. We need more Dawsons. I can’t believe I just said that.

We have no leader and we have no bully. Weak in mind, weak in soul. And this has been us for a while now. We change the manager, we change the players. And yet the same problem always exists. When mistakes are made, does anyone get angry about it? Apart from us, the mugs in the stands?

What was it Carrick once said about us? We have a culture of failure at Tottenham. He didn’t quite say that, but that was the gist of it. The players do not appear to hate losing. It’s acceptable. It’s ok. But it shouldn’t be.

The players have to stand up and show us 100% heart and passion. How many times has this been demanded this season alone, and they don’t quite do it? We know they can because we've seen it in one-off games. But alas again, that's the problem. Botheredness.

It’s easy for the likes of Utd where they win things every year to hate losing and therefore give it that extra 110% every week because defeat and failure is unacceptable for them – but surely at a club like Spurs which aspires to be a force in English football – should see their players strive to avoid being second best? Players at the club should arrive and understand that second best is not good enough for the club. We don’t have a Ferguson. But neither do most. So what is the point of being at Spurs? You can almost taste the importance and affect Davids had at the Lane, on the training pitch and in the first team squad. Hopefully Palacios will bring us something similar with his undoubted class. Whether he has the same fire in his belly that even an 'old' Davids had is altogether another thing. But then Wilson is not the same type of player that Edgar was.

Tottenham's midfield, with Lennon in the middle

Where is the intensity? That extra yard? That willingness and aggressive nature?

We didn’t show much up at the Reebok. Well done to Bent who has a pretty good goal scoring ratio this season, even though we sometimes wonder about his ability and application game to game. Shame on our defending, especially for the third decisive goal. And maybe this one up front business can be scrapped soon as it simply doesn’t work. Most of our lads had stinkers.

We are fast running out of games now. Do I think we are going down? No. Because we will do just about enough to avoid the drop, thanks largely to the fact that there are far worse teams than us. But I pray to God the players don’t have this very same thought. Look at our away fixture and who we have to visit between now and the final game of the season. It's daunting in places.

Arsenal at home next. Three points from six games during December through to Jan is almost as bad as what we got under Ramos. The results from the first 8 games of a season will not get you relegated – it’s what you do after that and we’ve done nothing other than skip through a honeymoon period that wasn’t followed up with a successful marriage.

Let's just avoid the divorce papers.

The sooner this window shuts, and Harry stops harking on about how many points we had when he joined the better. Had we not lost any of the last four away then we’d all be a little more happier now. But we did, and we’re not. The Preimer League is a joke down at the bottom, with all teams of equal poor quality. So there's no need to laser-remove your tattoos just yet.

I bet we give it a right old ding-dong go on Sunday in the NLD. Unbeaten against Big 4 opposition this season in the League (sums us up really). And we’ll be scratching our heads trying to figure out why we can’t dish out the same performance every week. Fingers crossed, hey?

I hate football. I could never live without it.

Let's just thrash Arsenal and worry about this relegation lark later.

Thanks to Dayo for the photoshop Redknapp pic. Visit this thread over at Glory Glory for more hilarity.

Where now for Harry's mouth?

Yet another rain-swept Monday for yet another depressing weekend of football for the Spurs faithful. Gone, it appears, is the original conception of a 4-5-1 formation, with two wide players and three central midfielders which managed to produce a decent balance of passing and grafting. Whether it’s down to the injuries Hudd and Jenas picked up which forced a change in tactics or not, it seems the current formation is nowhere near good enough to even compete with Wigan. Not that Wigan are too shabby at the minute, but still. Compete or die are the two options for survival and avoiding it.

I know it’s early in the transfer market but it seems that Harry has now taken upon himself to be critical of all things Spurs. He’s highlighted that Spurs need fighters. Proper players. Possibly Appiah is one of a few he plans to sign. But to be critical when your first signing is Defoe. Small player, no real strength and can’t hold up the ball. And with no chances created for him, he is rendered even more useless for the task in hand. But don’t fret. It seems that the likes of Bent and Pav have no definitive future at Spurs as he’s also said we need a player that can hold up the ball. Surely that is more of a priority than a poacher? But I’m being presumptuous. At the end of the window is when we can hold Harry accountable or (hopefully) applaud him for the re-building exercise he’s conducted.

Woodgate, Dawson, Zokora and O’Hara have been pin-pointed as the type of players we need in comparison to the soft gutless flair players. This is worrying in itself. Zokora? Really? Sure, he runs about a lot, but a player with no footballing brain? Dawson is all effort, little ability. Although hasn’t been prone to many errors recently, so I won’t throw rotten fruit at him just yet. Woodgate is class and O’Hara has some bite.

So, what’s the answer? Another forward to hold up the ball? Another midfielder to replace Jenas (who has apparently lose his vice-captaincy)? A left-winger (not Downing)? Another central-midfielder (King’s cameos are not enough)?

And somewhere in all that, there has to be that all important element of leadership that we lack. That real scruff of the neck, slap around the face, determination and spirit that even the ‘class’ Woodgate can’t muster up enough of.

That’s some shopping list. To sign players who can not only slot into positions that are currently ineffective in the current Spurs side, but also be able to pick up the workload to allow our flair players the freedom to express.

No idea why Harry went for such a distorted over ambitious but ultimately flawed line-up against Wigan. Maybe he was attempting to illustrate the fact that we are nothing more than a group of individuals, weak in the vital areas, with no cohesion no matter the tactics.

What happened to the basics that saw us climb off the bottom of the table? The blame game and stating the obvious sounds way too Tottenhamesque for my liking. Shrug it off. That’s you Harry and the players. Before it’s too late. You’ve got just under 20 days to complete the jigsaw. And I don’t want to be hearing anything about losing any pieces behind the sofa.

Lunacy

Anyone read The Telegraph yesterday? Along with an article, they published photos released by the police of suspects they would like to question about indecent chanting at the Pompey v Spurs game from earlier this season. The police don't directly mention racial chanting. But the Telegraph ran the headline that these fans were allegedly singing racial abuse. All very much of a legal minefield. What are the police investigating exactly? Is it indecent (which I guess can be racial or possibly homophobic) or is it just racial?

The Telegraph are specific with their opinion on the subject. It's hard to prove either way simply because everyone has a different opinion on the meaning behind the words sang in the 'Sol Sol wherever you may be' chant. If someone is overtly racist, then good luck to the police and I hope they arrest and charge them. No place for it anywhere in life, and football fans should not be exempt from it at football grounds across the country. To be clear - I'm talking about racism, not ambiguous misinterpreted words.

All this publicity and police investigation is really down to one thing. Sol Campbell and his crusade. Two things, never separated, and co-existing as a singular pain in everyone's arse.

The amount of chants in football tinged with homophobic references is aplenty. Not right you might argue, but its common place. Ask Ashley Cole. Ask anyone. But has that been spoken about at all in the midst of all this as much as the alleged racist element?

Campbell has always banged on about all Spurs fans being racist and that's why they boo and abuse him. And that's it. That's the crux of it. His fragile ego can't cope, so he points his finger and rather mention the gay slurs (which, he should think about doing, or is it okay for fans to sing homophobic chants?) he decides that Spurs fans sing that 'Sol Sol' song because he's black and us Yids we hate the blacks. So lets get all KKK about it and sing about those pesky blacks but only when Campbell is playing and only mentioning Campbell's name. I guess we are the worst type of racists, the type that discriminate hypocritically by hating black Sol Campbell but loving black Ledley King. In fact the only black we hate is Campbell. White supremacy at it's very finest.

Have I made it sarcastically clear enough how ridiculous these accusations are?

Maybe 'indecent chanting' will cover off the homophobic chanting on the sly, and maybe Campbell has complained about this. Or maybe the authorities have jumped on the hype the media spun on the back of the original incident.

Again (and for the 1000th time), I'm not saying I like or have sang any of these songs. Its not my bag at all. And that other song sang by the idiot minority about Adebayor is overtly racist, but the idiots who sing it think its funny and probably don't have the brains to realise singing about washing elephants is a chant too far. I know for a fact that Spurs (stewards) have removed people for singing this during games. I've yet to hear Adebayor complain about it, but hope he does. Mido was subject to abuse recently also (again) and arrests have been made. This in particular warrants far more publicity than this Campbell carnival.

Hated for his colour - Red

The majority of Tottenham fans are way above all this and are far more simplistic with their honesty by calling Campbell a Judas or a c*nt. Which is our right to do, and before anyone gets all self-righteous about how 'you wouldn't expect to get away with calling someone a c*nt in the street so why would you expect to get away with it at a football match' - don't bother. Players except this as part and parcel of football. The day someone shouts out 'Ronaldo! I don't like you mate' is the day we slowly and gently lower football into a deep grave and shed a tear for our dear departed friend.

There's no need to put the hatred for Campbell into a fucking song. And the media and police and everyone else who want to slate Spurs fans over this should get that flux capacitor out of the bottom drawer and go back several years when Campbell played for Arsenal at WHL and got an incredible reception of abuse. No 'Sol Sol hanging from a tree' chants back then. Just your common working class mans screaming and shouting and swearing. And what does our very own Benedict Arnold do? He tells the press that the abuse was racially motivated. Had nothing to do with him walking from Spurs to Arsenal on a free and everything to do with race and colour of skin.

Fuck off mate. Just fuck the fuck off. Even the likes of Ian Wright along with one or two other ex-players don't see what Campbell appears to see.

He shat on the club, doesn't accept he did and doesn't understand why fans dislike him. If the minority of Spurs fans who are still obsessed with this non-entity had any self-respect they would just ignore him completely. Although I guess if they did that, Sol Campbell would actually believe we have forgiven him.

We live in such a PC world that anything like this will be scrutinised and exaggerated and people will be made an example of, even though other instances which are obviously racist are completely ignored - by police and the media - because they don't score highly in what they believe to be their own agendas and publicity ratings.

Maybe, the few who had their photos taken by the police at that Pompey game need to be 'sacrificed' so that it deters others from actually saying something truly racist, not questionable or subjective, but something that's blatantly black or white.

Afterthought

Are Everton a better run club than us? Yes. They don’t sack their manager if they have a poor season and they always look to strengthen the positions where they lack depth and class. The concept is continuity. Something Levy and co have never quite grasped, but then – as a whole – neither have our fans.

With the amount of money we splash out on players season in and season out, along with the over-ambitious goals the club set themselves – it makes failure (which is always the result of each passing year) create convenient scapegoats, which help appease the disgruntled fans.

Maybe we need to be more like Everton.

Understated. Patient.

Sure, they splash out big money every now and again. But their basic and obvious work ethic around organisation and hard work/graft helped by a balanced team means they are not easy to break down and beat even if they are far from being anywhere near attractive to watch. Yes, they’re boring. And on Sunday, as far as Moyes was concerned, he was tactically spot on because had they attempted to open up and play – we would have found it far easier to score. They stopped our creative players from playing, and we had no way of countering this (which is a bit depressing really).

When you result to hoofing the ball because there’s no way through, it’s the very definition of depressing. But it happens. Under-par performances, lack of a Modric in midfield….it shouldn’t come as a surprise.

So, should we still be more like Everton?

Balance. We need a DM and LM, which will give us the required balance to out-think and play a 5 man Everton midfield who’s sole purpose is to stop US from played.

Patience. Well this one is doubtful in the way of managerial appointments, as Harry is only here for the short-term. He knows it and so does Levy. What happens after that is anyone’s guess.

Our players sometimes have this underwhelming presence on the pitch, casually running around, off the pace and with a lack of urgency and responsibility. We obviously have better players, with regards to ability, than most Prem club, yet sometimes can’t even compete against the likes of Hull or Stoke.

It’s the Holy Grail for Spurs fans this. Seeing a team evolve into one that can hassle and bully and run games. Jol, for a couple of seasons, gave us something that was not quite complete but was on its way.

January transfer window will be telling.

Make war not peace

Mr Berbatov wants to make peace with Tottenham fans.

“I will always have special feelings for Tottenham. They showed me the way in English football. I will never have anything bad to say about the club. I watch every game they play. I was just surprised the team got off to such a bad start because Juande Ramos was a very good coach. Now Harry Redknapp has come in, a very experienced manager, and I am pleased they are going up the table.”

The disruptive Bulgarian has less chance of making peace than I have of spanking Angelina Jolie in a night of light sexual deviance. Brad Pitt would obviously not be present. If he was, and as a consequence, the only chance of me doing Jolie was to double up on her with Bradley, then I would gladly accept, as long as both cockerels were kept apart at all times. I'll only crow for Angelina. I'm not saying he ain't a good looking bloke, no doubt there, but I am strictly centre-midfield and you'll never catch me playing down the muddy slippery flanks.

I’d like to spank Berbatov given half the chance. Across the face. With a dead squirrel. ‘Showed me the way in English football’? That’s the polite way of suggesting we were nothing more than a stepping stone, a stage to show off his array of talents and silky skills allowing Ferguson to decide if Berbatov was good enough for Old Trafford. The only special feelings you have for us is you were able to showcase your talent for one full season, and then only do so a second time round because we wouldn't allow you to leave. This fallacy of you only caring about the simple things in football is just that.

And as for watching all our games since moving on, I doubt that very much. Don’t patronise us please. You fought with Jol. You fought with Tottenham. You practically went on strike. Shut the fuck up, and just take the abuse you’ll get on the chin like any other player (apart from Sol Campbell who doesn’t like to take anything on the chin, according to his PR).

Honest, humble Dimi, who likes to feed the squirrels in solitude with only his deep thoughts as company whilst he contemplates his existence and meaning. Don’t be too shocked or upset when all the squirrels in your back garden suddenly go missing. Not that I would ever set traps for them and sell them to the nearest kebab house for a tidy profit. That would be distasteful and possibly cruel especially to the people who prefer to dine on lamb rather on rodents. Although a dollop of chilli sauce will guarantee you won't be able to tell the difference.

Berbatov is the reason why clubs like Spurs will never push on, much like the eight year old at school who decides it’s easier to support whoever is top of the league whilst the local team loses another prospective future season ticket holder.

So, Dimitar, in conclusion, take your olive branch and stick it up your bollocks.

Thanks to Dan G from gg.net for the photo-shop magic.

DML Editorial: Complaining about Comolli

Damien Comolli has fallen on his feet. The much maligned easy-to-blame target for the Spurs boo-boys, the media and for the right honourable Daniel Levy - who made sure that after Ramos was acquired as manager that everyone knew he was brought in on the say so and recommendation of Comolli (thus by default, responsibility for his failure was tagged). But, fallen on his feet has Damien. At Saint-Etienne. Again.

I was never a fan of his (you'd never have guessed that, right?) but more so was never a fan of the director of football structure. Chief scout working as a bitch to the manager, closing deals the manager has requested is how it should have worked rather than taking responsibility of transfers away from the coach. We all know it was an overly simplistic system when noted on paper but in reality it created confusion and chaos in-house and on the terraces with nobody ever knowing who was directly responsible for the internal politics that undermined the likes of Jol. Obviously Levy, but see, he sits on the side of 'I'm dumb with the football thing and entrust my DoF to make sure all things go as planned', so as this paragraph descends into literal suicide, it serves its purpose to prove that Comolli leaving and Levy finally admitting defeat is a great day for traditionalists.

Will it be great for Saint-Etienne? Possibly. Possibly not. Don't care. So what of Damien's reign as top cockerel at WHL? Was he really THAT bad? Was he simply an easy target, with us only selecting examples of transfers that didn't quite work out (no different to a manager with no technical director influence buying the wrong player - and how many times has that happened?) and not giving him credit when he did bring in someone decent?

"No seriously dude, I don't like you or your English cup of tea"

The fickleness is strong amongst us. He was celebrated for a period of time, believe it or not. When things were going well on the pitch. When we signed Zokora (and he was photographed with the player by a Spurs fan abroad) many of us saw this as a major coup. A real proper DM, proven African Nations class. And he also signed Berbatov (his first signing in fact). Or did Jol tell him to scout Berbatov and sign him? And was Berbatov really a good signing considering the mess its left us in? Harsh I know - because there's no way of knowing who or when a player will act in such a disloyal way. The point is, was Comolli actually 'ok' at his job?

Bent (initially slated by all), Corluka, Woodgate, Bale, Hutton, Modric, Bentley - all arguably very very decent players (Bale and Hutton still trying to reclaim some form after returning from injury and Bentley and Modric finding their level after a slow start). Most Prem teams outside the 'Top Four' would be happy to take these players off our hands (by most I mean Aston Villa). Modric is arguably good enough for a Top 4 club. And might well be playing for one in a season or two. Hmm. Anyways, all good good players. Maybe purchased for a little bit too much, but that's up the bank and not, I would expect the DoF.

Some managers spend millions on players of their own choosing, who flop and get sold on - so if Comolli was discussing targets at all times with the 'coach' and only going out to sign a player the coach wanted 100%, then was he doing anything wrong? Was he not just doing his job? Following orders? Players who we apparently missed out on due to chairman interference ('he is too old' - 'he wants too much in wages') is surely down to Levy and Levy alone. Up to the bank, right?

But isn't it Comolli who advises Levy who should be manager? Surely someone with that much responsibility and power wouldn't then become a lap dog for someone he appointed? Would he?

But what of Ghaly or Kevin Prince 'everyone thinks I was German Young Player of the Year when actually I wasn't' Boateng? Or Rocha? Or Taraabt? Or Gilberto? Or BAE? Kaboul? And Zokora obviously. Or Zokora. And Zokora. That Zokora. Oh Christ, Zokora.

We have spent millions on players that don't appear to be signings the coach might have wanted or singled out as targets. Millions of pounds playing reserve team football without a squad number. Yet where are the player we so desperately require? The cheap and cheerful engine-rooms and grafters? Not every player has to be box-office.

And when we need a replacement for Berbatov along with a defensive midfielder we got nothing. He never got on with Jol and along with his pal Kemsley got Ramos to walk out of Sevilla for us, which turned out to be an epic failure too far. So surely an inability to work with someone like Jol and Ramos out-weighs any successful signing? But if he's empowered by the chairman, the buck should stop with Levy. But it doesn't. And gone is Comolli.

Daniel and Damien thought it rude to stare at the blind floating head ghost

Apart from the nitty gritty of transfers, arguably, you could say his other main directive is to avoid mass upheaval and sign players the next manager can work with - all of course within the DoF structure. So basically, Comolli is responsible for the vision and progression of the club, and no matter who we sign, the 'next' coach can ease in and continue the training of the first team.

But now, this ethos, no longer exists, so players like Modric and Bentley - bought by Comolli for Ramos and were not used properly are now finding their way under Redknapp who HAS used them properly. But then any manager probably would have done so. In fact, if the players are good enough, it doesn't really matter who the coach is as long as he can man-manage.

What pro-Comolli supporters will tell you, as I've hinted earlier, is that he hasn't done that bad compared to other managers (DoF free) with signings. But again (repeat mode) him being there as a buffer between chairman and coach, protecting the chairman serves no purpose to the fans or the club in the long term.

Let's take a look at his signings:

Berbatov £10.9M - For the money spent and low-key status of the Bulgarian (not everyone had heard of him) this was a great signing. The first made by DC, and ironically the one that would prove (partly) pivotal in his downfall, thanks to Levy's dithering.

Assou-Ekotto £3.5M - Why, why, why? He has one move. You know the one. It's the one where he moves to go one way and goes the other instead.

Zokora £6M - After the first season, everyone hoped to see the real Zokora - the one that played a handful of games in the African Nations - in his second year at the Lane. What we got in year two was first season Zokora, slightly degraded, but with additional dance moves. An engine he has, but its not enough. Footballing brain is a standard requirement. Doesn't score goals, likes to play act and is pretty much the definition of not what to spend £6M + on.

Dervitte undisclosed - Not seen much of him, but I'll put this type of signing down to the quintessential 'we've signed a captain of his country (be it at youth U-21 level)' Spurs signing that we never see break into the first team because they never turn out to be good.

Malbranque £3.5M - Great player to have in the squad and team, and our most consistent performer last season. Would flourish under Redknapp. Why was he sold to Sunderland? Did we need the extra few million, perhaps for investment in the hopefully re-designing of Chirpy's head?

Chimbonda £4M - Infuriating player. Mercenary who had a few decent games, because he can play, but has shown himself up (Cup Final anyone?) and since joining Sunderland has continued to prove this point.

Mido £4.5M - Really helped us when he first signed up, influential up front, giving us somethign different. The weight/injury problems means he will probably never consistently perform for any one club.

Rocha £3.5M - Why?

Alnwich undisclosed - Is he still on loan? Another 'highly rated youth player' who we've seen nothing from. Apart from his dick in a mobile phone sex video.

Bale £5M - Great talent, but is possessed by evil spirits. Why was this not uncovered during scouting missions? Has never won a Prem game for Spurs, and never will till he is exorcised

"What do you think? Can he play left-wing?"
"Damien, that's a tree"

Berchiche undisclosed - Another one for the future, but he has a few years before we can chalk this off as a faded dream.

Taarabt undisclosed - Zidane on LSD. Has had some tasty games for the reserves, that are made up of 10-30 second bursts of genius, followed by playground football. A kid with immense ball skills, but suffering from Zokorapsy. If he doesn't learn to do the simple things, he'll never make it.

Bent £16.5M - Masses of money spent on him. The ones who didn't want to take the abuse that Bent was a waste of money will tell you he was bought for that much at the time because we needed someone to take the helm from Berbatov. Except, Berba was still with us for a season - along with Keane and Defoe, so Bent's form and confidence suffered as he sat it out on the bench. Still, over-inflated price (thanks to West Ham for matching Charlton's estimation). We were still the mugs that paid it. £9M would have been fine based on modern day wastefulness. Still, at least he is now starting to repay us. But why he was bought originally when we did not require a forward, especially when the money could have been spent elsewhere is.....Comolli's guess.

Kaboul £8.2M - Stupid. Another 'captain', another average player. Struggled thanks largely to the poor start to the season we had, but showed glimpses of something. That something then turned to nothing, confirming he was shit. Now at Pompey (bought by Redknapp, which is something that I'll worry about depending on how Harry does in the Jan window). Complete and utter waste of money. You do not spend £8.2M on a 'potentially great player'. Potential is another word for 'maybe'.

Rose undisclosed - Decent young Lennoneque player, without the bling baggage. One to watch and maybe a gem. As long as he stays away from Buckhurst Hill.

Boateng £5.2M - Much hyped because he has 'Prince' in his name and has tattoos. Looked well over his head when he did play for us, but he just might come good. Has 'grown up' since he got relegated to the reserves (basically, he realised he was being a dick and has got back to proving his worth as an up and coming prospect by concentrating on his football, because Christ, he ain't no superstar). Harry has brought him back into 1st team affairs, so a second chance is on the cards. Did we sign him because Sevilla were looking at him when Ramos was still there? Doubtful you think, as Ramos never went anywhere near him selection wise.

Gunter £2M - Decent player. Another gem, we hope.

Woodgate £7.5M - Doesn't take a DoF to look towards bringing Woody to Spurs, does it? Any manager at Spurs (considering our CB issues) would have looked to bring him in. Am I side-stepping a compliment for Comolli? Yes. Yes, I am.

Hutton £8M - Probably a bit too much for a Scottish player. Looked superb getting forward before injury. Bit of a crock performance wise since coming back. Comolli bought him on the strength of one of his scouts (Alex Ferguson).

Gilberto £1.9M - Brazilian? If he's Brazilian, so are my nuts.

Modric £15.8M - Brilliant little player. Gem for sure. Diamond in fact. But what does it say about the working relationship of Ramos and Comolli when Modric is stuck in awkward formation positions and struggles to impress? Harry comes in and does what everyone would do - let him play as a classic free-roaming number 10. Spurs did well to sign him. He's a typical flair Spurs type of signing and one we needed after losing the vision of Berbatov. I'll give Comolli props for getting the signature, but what did Ramos actually ask for? A left-winger?

dos Santos £4.7M - Either he is an extreme talent (if so, why did Barcelona let him go?) or he's a one-trick pony. IMO, was thrown into the deep end in a shit team. When he returns from injury, hope to see him settle and play. Might not be good enough for Bojans Barca, but he'll do fine in the Premiership. But Spurs should not have pushed this as a major coup with additonal 'he'll be a fully fledged first team player' soundbites. We needed something a little more complete. dos Santos is for the future. He's got a while to go before we can claim to have the best young Mexican player.

Gomes £9M - He plays brilliantly against us (for PSV) in one game and that's enough to value him at a hefty £9M and also pencil him in as a steady, reliable replacement for Paul 'I once had a HUGE long term contract at Spurs' Robinson. Instead we got a very good shot-stopper who is prone to amazing lapses in concentration and experiences yo-yo confidence. In other words, we spent almost ten million to bring back Paul Robinson.

Bostock £700k - Gem, gem, gem. Whether we have the development lined up for him is something I can only pray for. This kid can plaaaay. So credit here.

Bentley £15M - A typical superfluous luxury Tottenham type of player. Not really needed, when you consider what was needed pre-season. We lose Robbie Keane, so quick-sharp, we get a new poster boy. Not that Robbie was ever a poster boy. However, confidence makes people forget the past and look to the future, and Bentley is showing some quality now that he and the team are playing with swagger. Still not worth £15M, and might yet still go missing in games, depending on whether the gel keeps his hair in place.

Sanchez undisclosed - Backup keeper. Fairly impossible to be critical of this signing. Until he plays and concedes three.

Pavlyuchenko £14M - He might have the fashion sense of a blind chav let loose in Primark, but he seems honest, but not in a soppy way Rebrov was. Might have no pace but once he settles in England, he might be very decent for us. A snip at £14M. I'm trying not to be critical of the player, so I wont. I'll be critical of Comolli however who saw fit to spend this staggering amount of money on a player who had just done 5 months of Russian football. Arshavin would cost us £20M tops. We don't ever spot a bargain do we?

Corluka £8.5M - Can cover three or so positions. Has looked good and has looked average, but with Mordic at Spurs, bringing him in was inspired. I don't want to sound like a broken record and criticise the fee, and when you compare the amount spent and see it matches up with the money spent on Kaboul, this transfer still manages to make me feel a lot better, even though it shouldn't. But I wonder what kind of defender we could have got for £16M.

Campbell loan - Manchester United laughing at us.

So, the list more or less has as many hits and misses as you'd expect from most clubs who go with a more traditional manager-with-no-director-of-football-system. The lack of transparency means we simply can't be certain how much influence Jol and Ramos had during their time there and how involved Levy truly was. So, be it Comolli the glorified scout/contract man or be it Comolli the would be architect of glory - the only thing certain is he was one cook too many around the broth.

Comolli, having inherited a team built by Frank Arnesen's and Martin Jol - who finished 5th - he got Jol sacked and left us wanting a DM and a LW even after spunking £150M. He simply never bought the right players for the right (or left) positions when most required.

This system doesn't, didn't work.

The comedy Comolli complaints have now ceased. Forever.

DML: Editorial - The circus is always in town

We've tried just about everything. The anti-Christ (Graham), ex-legend (Hoddle), international manager (Santini), low-key in-house appointment (Jol) and the continental (Ramos). And they have all failed because the one constant survived every single appointment: The Director of Football. A suggestion made once upon a time by David Pleat, and then implemented by Daniel Levy.

Pleat, Arnesen, Comolli. And now finally......nothing. No more is the DoF. Levy has embraced the truth and the demands of the fans and has rid the club of this clandestine position which has no doubt directly or indirectly affected every manager who has attempted to work under it. Apart from one purple patch where Frank and Martin got on famously.

So Damien Comolli and his offbeat signings are no more. Levy did say DC would be accountable for Ramos. And that's the gist of the trouble White Hart Lane is in. I wont go into any detail about Levy's letter to the fan at this precise moment as that needs to be a blog post of it's own. But what I will need to touch upon here is the fact that Levy is apparently hiring people for the football side of the business and entrusting them. Which basically means, Levy allowed both Comolli and Kemsley to influence him and sanction the tapping up of Juande Ramos. Accountability is passed onto the DoF, protecting his chairman status at all times. As we've seen, Ramos has flopped - so Comolli gets the sack. And Teflon Levy survives another day.

"I'm buying a yacht with my severance pay.....how about you?"

Comolli and the eternal trouble-maker Kemsley believed that Jol had ran out of steam and couldn't take us any further. So basically, Levy is a bit of a jellyfish here. Deciding that if he's forking out 200K (or whatever) per year for DC, then DC gets to decide what's going on. Which means the DoF has an agenda that supersedes the one the chairman might think he has. What the DoF wants the DoF gets.

And that right there is the problem that drags Spurs back so often. Our over-ambitious streak. The fans, you can forgive for getting excited and aspiring to want Champions League and other Glory moments. And regardless of the laughter and abuse that's usually aimed at us from West Ham fans, who are disinterested in their own little club, Spurs have had players in the past few seasons that if (I hate that word)....if they had remained then we could have been contenders. But such is life in the two-tier Premiership that if you're bloody decent (Carrick, Keane, Berbatov) then why stay at Spurs when you can sign for a Top 4 club? It's pretty much impossible to build to challenge the Top 4. So self-preservation is the all important priority, or at least should be. In our case, it should have been about preserving 5th spot.

What Comolli and Kemsley did was assume that we were very close to cracking that Top 4. And Levy (I don't care how daft he wants to play this) also believed this to be the case.

Of course, we weren't. Probably still the best club for 5th, but miles off 4th. But the DoF meant that in-between the Chairman and the manager this entity created unnecessary confusion when it came to transfer targets and (as Levy has informed us) the Berbatov saga. Jol wanted him out straight away. Yet the player didn't leave until the summer just gone.

Media Watch

That word undermined is used often by myself and other fans and some of the hacks in the press. But it's the perfect word for the situation. With Ramos in, the belief is that we had a world-class manager. But what did Jol do wrong exactly? Yeah sure, there was always that element of choking in the big big games. But who knows, that might have been ironed out had he been left to get on with another season, uninterrupted by politics. We were all guilty of believing that Jol being sacked was 'for the good of the club'. Hindsight is deeply ironic.

We'll never know, but the point here - and it's an important one especially with recent events - is with 15 years of musical chairs and no consistency, why the rush to break the into the Top 4 after just two consistent seasons (2 x 5th spots)? We have no God given right. We all know the Top 4 is beyond most clubs reach. Every other club below 5th spot just gets on with it. With us, we should have been content with Jol and given him at least 2 more seasons. Because the past 15 seasons have not been much to write about, so what difference would it make waiting for another two years?

But what's done is done. In came Ramos. And off he goes now. For a cool £26M (£11M for signing him, £15M for sacking him). No doubt, the most costly flop in our recent history. But at least we can remember the Carling Cup with fond memories.

And in comes the media whore that is Harry Redknapp. A manager with little integrity. Sorry 'arry, but it's true. His Pompey/Soton merry-go round will tell you all you need to know. Levy claims that he's had conversations with Harry in the past, suggesting that 'he almost got here' before. Shudder.

Yeah, he saved Pompey from almost certain relegation. But couldn't save Soton and also relegated West Ham. What exactly is so great about his CV? Have we now lowered our ambitions? Have we accepted a place alongside the likes of Blackburn and co?

Well firstly, scrap ambitions and comparisons, because that's what has got us into this mess in the first place - believing the hype.

We are now behind the likes of Villa and City. As they develop and progress, our work has to begin again. Maybe not quite from ground zero, but we are limping at the minute. Although in modern day football 5th - 8th spot tends to shift about every season so all we need to do is regain a bit of pride and form. And no matter the progression you make (that goes for Villa and City at the minute) - you still need to depend on one of the Top 4 having an off season if you. Which is rare. And even if it does happen, you might find hotel food conspire against you. So we are not that far behind if you go on recent Prem records.

The simple fact of the matter is - at present - we are bottom. The players were not playing for Ramos. Levy had to do something drastic. Sacking Ramos and co was the first part. Appointing Redknapp was the second. Because for the moment, the only thing that's important is remaining in the Prem.

Spurs, battered and bloody tells the clubs around him 'I could have been a contender'

Survival. That's it. That should be the mission statement for this season. And having tried every type of manager, we've now gone for the 'not really done anything, loves his money a bit, Sky and the tabloids love him a lot' type of appointment.

We've stopped acting like the 'big club' and just taken stock of our current predicament.

So, am I happy? Nope, unsurprisingly, I'm not.

Levy, for all his little boy lost innocence, is knee-deep in damage limitation and blame deflection. The players, having performed today well enough to claim 3 points are questionable commitment wise if you look at some of our prior performances (although, I'm happy to agree that Ramos wasn't helping himself with selection and tactics). New manager usually gets a reaction from the players, but I still can't get rid of this feeling that Spurs will never push on until they get rid of the vanity at the club. £15M+ for Bentleys hair is proving to be a hard pill to swallow.

Harry himself paid money for Kaboul and does select players out of position. Sometimes has three DM's in his team and still gets bullied by the opposition and generally isn't the most astute tactically. So, I would guess, it's down to his man-management to get things going again.

It's worked one game in. And come Jan, we might see the return of Defoe and one or two other players - including some very un-Tottenham like signings that might have some of us question wtf is going on (BRING BACK THE DOF!!!!!1111) but that's what we want isn't it? Players we NEED - and not superfluous signings. So, there is a positive, one hopes in his appointment. Although getting rid of the DoF and letting Jol sign his own players would have worked fine too.

So, is Harry an interim manager for the club? I hope so. Am I know being a hypocrite for suggesting we are too big for Harry? Call me that if you want. What I'm saying is, Harry isn't a great manager and has limits which will become apparent in a couple of seasons. But this all serves a purpose. A recovery period, washing off any remaining residue of the DoF era. It's the consequence, not of Comolli but of Levy. The buck does stop with him, and this I feel is the final sorry chapter of mis-management. He's admitted it hasn't worked, so he has gained a final encore. And this is it. Harry will take us so far, and then Levy (if he's still around) will no doubt appoint someone knew. Maybe a promotion for whoever his number two is? We'll see how it all pans out. No point dwelling on this at the minute. If Levy suggests that Harry is the one to reclaim GLORY - then Daniel will be leaving us in the very close future.

If (there's that magic word again) Harry performs a miracle and is still knocking around with us in 4 years time then Levy will be deemed a genius and I'll have to eat a hat (preferably made of bagel).

In the mean time, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt (that's Harry). And do what any fan would do: Support the team with all my heart......and cry uncontrollably when it goes tits up. Again.

How to lose games and alienate your fans

THE BIGGEST GAME IN OUR HISTORY™ : The Final Chapter
Spurs v Bolton, 3pm kick-off, Sunday 26th.

You know, we always called each other Yids. Like you said to, uh, somebody: You're gonna like this guy. He's all right. He's a Yiddo. He's one of us: You understand? We were Tottenham fans. Lilywhites. But Jimmy and I could never sit in the West Stand because we we didn't drive Mercs. It didn't even matter if you didn't own an Opus. To become a member of the Park Lane crew you've got to be one hundred per cent Spurs so they can trace all your relatives back to the old days in the 1960's. See, it's the highest honour they can give you. It means you belong to a family and crew. It means that nobody can fuck around with you. It also means you could fuck around with anybody just as long as the old bill and stewards wasn't watching. It's like a license to chant. It's a license to do anything. As far as Jimmy was concerned with Tommy being ITK, it was like we were all ITK. We would now have one of our own up a tree at the Lodge

~ Yidfellows, 1961 - 2008

This is it people. End of days. The last hooray. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Charlton Heston thumping the sand at the end of Planet of the Apes. Rocky losing out to Creed. Steve McQueen not quite making the motorcycle jump over the border.

We are gush, make no mistake about it. And there's not a whiff of a blockbuster performance in sight.

We are doing just about enough in each game to lose. We haven't been overwhelmed or battered by anyone yet. We just turn up, go one goal down, and quietly die on the pitch while the opposition, usually not that much better than us, more so plucky, get their heads in front and comfortably hold on to win.

Grit

We've heard it all now. From players and management. All the soundbites and ill-fated battle cries. Players, formations, tactics, substitutions. There is nothing left in the way of 'that one last chance'. Our past 3 or 4 games in the Prem have been 'must wins'. The game that will change our form and kick-start our season. And each one has ended in defeat. We've done more side-stepping than Vinny Samways.

We haven't got any worse over the past few weeks, in fact arguably we've improved. But that improvement is fairly invisible to the human eye, thanks to the fact that the results have remained the same. What we've managed to add to this cauldron of crap is red cards. We're not just pressing down on the self-destruct button, we are head-butting it.

It's impossible to know if the players are shit because the manager has lost all respect, or if the players are shit regardless or if the manager is shit or if the squad is so disjointed due to lost players and ineffective signings that nobody quite knows what the fuck is going on. Or all of the above.

Passion

Blame Ramos. Blame Comolli. Blame Levy. Blame Jenas. It doesn't matter any more who is at fault. What matters now is who will take responsibility and get us out of this mess. And the eleven players who represent us should be the ones because regardless of management and pre-match talk, it's the 90 minutes on the pitch that count. There is no lower ebb. We are there already. And it's do or die time. Because every defeat going forwards brings us closer to Championship football.

Luck (the good type) is also non-existent, and all mathematical omens are more ominous than the Grim Reaper taking a seat next to you at a doctors appointment.

Sunday is no longer about measured tactical ploys or 4-5-1. Sunday has be a Cup final (only one we'll get this season). Sunday has to be about setting the precedence for every game after that with regards to performance. Performance equating to: Fight, urgency, spirit, desire, guts, passion, belief and pride.

Go one down? Heads up, chests out, fucking well go for the jugular and claw/scratch/kick/bite your way back into the game. Go one up? Then push for a second with all your sodding might. Start to believe, regain that swagger and that confidence. Because even without Berbatov and Keane and a true DM - we still have players of quality. Enough of them to get us above Newcastle, Stoke, Fulham, Everton at the very least.

A win, 3 points, is not the fucking Holy Grail! Dry those fucking eyes, get a grip and win the sodding game. Getting smacked around by third-rate teams like we're a crack whore begging for a hit from her weasel pimp is FUCKING PATHETIC.

We are down to basics. Every time we have prayed that our players would take the game by the scruff (Wigan, Hull, Stoke etc) we have failed miserably. Its now do or die.

Leadership

Over-dramatic? If I was drunk on rum I might suggest that losing to Bolton won't be the end, because Ramos would walk/be sacked and the new coach might galvanise the side to such an extent that the same bunch of players start to perform minor miracles. But that's pretty unlikely based on the fact that this dire form has been a year in the making. But then, that's what we are all hoping a win against Bolton will do. Galvanise. Because we have no choice now due to the maths and our position and the upcoming fixtures. With or without Ramos, we have to start winning.

So all that's left is for the home fans to sing till their mouths bleed and for the team out on the pitch to remember who they are and reclaim some self-respect and respect for the club and its fans and its history.

Otherwise, I'd suggest we sack the lot of them, run an X-Factor style competition to find out who the most athletic 20 Spurs fans are, and then stick them in the Lilywhite shirt. Because determination wise, they will run till their lungs collapse. And at least win/lose/draw - we can say we we're proud of the effort.

For one last time, it's over to you.....Gomes, Hutton, Woodgate, King, Gunter, Corluka, Gilberto, O'Hara, Zokora, Jenas, Lennon, Bentley, Modric, Gio, Bent, Campbell, Pavlyuchenko....

Bolton Wanderers..... go home and get your fuckin' shinebox.