Spurs and Survival: It's time to get medieval

A regular feature on this blog has been a reoccurring series following a set of fixtures that are meant to provide the much needed impetus (and points) to finally steer us clear of the scary little mire that is the bottom three seats of the Premiership. A place best avoided much like a seedy back room in a pawn shop resembling a dungeon.

When Harry Redknapp joined, I gave him 12 games to get us out of trouble. Results were not too shabby. The 12 games in question made up the fabled Challenge Spurs™ (The Dirty Dozen) series. But when that ended, we failed to capitalise on the points tally acquired and managed to follow it up with a pretty awful run of results, followed by another mixed bag (as chronicled in the V for Victory™ series).

This meant we failed to pull ourselves away from the mix down at the bottom. So these run of fixtures never made a difference win, lose or draw with regards to climbing the table (obviously the points picked up have been all important, otherwise we'd be doomed by now). And the teams around us have also remained fairly constant with poor and inconsistent form. Not a lot has changed in the past few months.

We now find ourselves with the run-in and every game a must-win (not every game is winnable, but that's the attitude required. Deja vu, right?). Which ironically means, that if there was a time to scrutinise our fixture list and welcome back Challenge Spurs™, it’s now. Fail, and there's nothing but Championship fixtures to look forward to.

We have 13 games left - 6 at home and 7 away.

We've already driven the little Honda into Marcellus Wallace. Donuts and coffee hitting the pavement. And arguably, we’ve already stumbled our way into the Mason-Dixie pawn shop. So squeaky-bum time is potentially moments away. Zed will see to that. Get yourself caught up in the moment and you might find it more than just a bit tricky to get out. All tied up and gagged, praying for a miracle. Zed has us in his sights. Relegation. Relegation has us in its sights. The spider has caught itself a fly.

"Bring out The Gimp"
"I think The Gimp is sleepin'"

In this case, the Gimp is not Jermaine Jenas. And neither is it sleeping. The Gimp is the monkey on our back. Nope, not Gareth Bale (he's mostly on the bench nowadays). The Gimp is the persistent match-losing lack of concentration that has seen us defeat ourselves in the last four league away games - all in the final minutes.

It’s a mental block. Lack of concentration, belief. A fundamental lack of self-respect. Confidence, pride...lack of. Tag whatever you wish to it. Its a Spurs trait we always blame when you know what hits the fan.

Last time the Gimp persevered, it cost us Champions League (forget the last game and think back to the amount of points lost in the final minutes both home and away during the course of that season). For it to occur four times on the trot, all away from the Lane this season, is a sure sign that winning is sometimes a task too hard for some of our players. They welcome the Gimp and it's all too familiar hooded face of sadomasochistic defeatism. We need to punch the Gimp in the head several times.

"So, we're cool?"

We are at the point of no second chances now. If you sit down with your calculator or Prem Table predictor website tool, the possibility of us being unsafe and at risk on the final game is possible if you base our final set of games and likely outcomes on prior form. Especially on away form.

We are likely to pick up points at home. Although it’s ominous that we haven't done that amazingly well so far. But the home games are now imperative. No possible excuse could appease us if we don't prove successful at WHL. As for the away games, they can be grouped into two sections:

The 'No Chance in Hell' List

Man Utd
Aston Villa
Everton
Liverpool

The 'Doubtful we'll win' List

Hull City
Blackburn Rovers
Sunderland

Lose to Hull away, and the game against Boro at home turns into a Cup final, to follow on from that other Cup final we play out a few days earlier. Sunderland away has yet to be slotted into the schedule having been postponed. So where is the away win(s) going to happen? We have a good record at Everton, don't we?

I prefer to think that Spurs will do what they usually do in such desperate times. Instinctively react and do so positively. Almost nonchalantly. Bit like the goals that came at the end of the semi-final against Burnley. We waited until we were 3-0 down and (practically) out of the Cup before showing a bit of quality and pulling through. It's textbook Spurs. It's eternally frustrating. Back to the home games left to play:

The 'Must Not Drop Points' List

Boro
Chelsea
West Ham
Newcastle
WBA
Man City

Apart from Chelsea (who might be rejuvenated a little by the time we play them) the other games in this list have to be victories in our favour. Without any disrespect, they are winnable. On paper. That's a fans perspective. The players have to be ruthless and fearless against the lot of them.Whether it's Chelsea or WBA.

The other clubs around us down at the bottom will no doubt struggle till the closing day of the season, but the desperation of needing them to lose to help us out is something I will not embrace.

It’s in our hands. Again. We can't be hoping other results go in our favour. We have to control our own destiny (cringe away).

We are in need for an inspired Butch with a Samurai sword moment to signal our intent for survival.

And we are equipped for it. Palacios, big and strong and inspiring. Keane will rediscover form and the back of the net. Dawson will continue to led in the absence of King. Lennon, who's energy this season has never faltered, will buzz around and torment. Modric possesses the quality that will help unlock a defence or two and allow Pav and Bent to get in amongst the goals. And Harry will make sure it all tick tocks clockwise.

How the Carling Cup final or the UEFA Cup games will affect squad moral is not something I wish to dwell on. It's not quite like last season where the players went to sleep after the 2-1 Wembley win and forgot how to win in the Prem. There's a clear distinction between one off games like the Final and the bread and butter of the Prem this term. And the latter is clearly of more importance in the long run.

Butch, driving into Marcellus, allowed destiny to take them to the pawn shop and perilously close to a humiliating death. The death part was avoided. The humiliation unavoidable. The will to survive saw them through it, bloody in victory and revenge.

Much like the two of them, its down to us that we are in this predicament. We've led ourselves here. Destiny playing its part with comparative ease. We've suffered the humiliation. We now need to stay clear of death. So here's to a quick sharp exit, riding off on a Chopper, with a happy ending.

‘Who’s Relegation?’
‘Relegations dead, baby, Relegations dead’

I hate football

I hate football. There I said it.

One of the most obvious knee-jerks after a defeat such as the one experienced up at the Reebok is to hold your head in your hands and cry uncontrollably, wiping away the tears as you ask yourself:

“Why? Why do I care more than the players? Why can't the players care as much as me?"

Why? Well simply because we – the fans – are the heart beat of the club. We are the one constant through its existence. We retain the values and the ambitions that the club should be aspiring to. When players are long gone, we are still here cheering and singing and supporting the next generation to wear the colours. The history of the club is embedded within us from the first time we watch the team play and stays with us as passionately and obsessively throughout our lifetime. It’s religious in scope.

And we are all together in it. We all experience the highs and the lows. The emotions and the glory. The depression and the disgust.

"Triffic"

The reason we want to cry (or if you are too manly for Gascoignesque waterworks) shake your fists furiously at the teams abject display whilst using colourful language, is because we care so much it hurts and it hurts so much that we question whether our loyalty is misplaced. It’s a weak moment. One we always recover from. It’s sometimes easier to pretend to care less about something because it gives the illusion that you won’t hurt too much from the pain.

It’s part of our make-up as fans. Most of the time we complain and disagree with each other whilst we wait patiently (sometimes for decades) for something resembling true progression from the club before we all hold hands in unity. But that never stops us from wearing our hearts on our sleeves.

We simply love the club. Unconditionally. So when we watch a team display the same inept and dysfunctional quirks week after week, whilst the manager quotes excuses from himself from the previous defeat and the one before that, you begin to wonder why it’s so impossible for the players to react positively when the problems are so obvious?

We all know players don’t feel the same type of loyalty as fans do. That isn’t ground-breaking news. But self-pride should be evident enough. And yet its rarely evident on the pitch. Just in patches or certain games.

Other clubs have managed to capture this pride and spirit, and although some sides do not have the quality to see them achieve success others do have the quality and the combination is unequalled (see Man Utd for more details).

NLD up next. Shudder.

This crisis we find ourselves in wasn’t birthed this season. It’s been a long time coming. Our away form has been utter crap for years and years now. We never compete consistently away from WHL to really be able to drive forward as a strong side who could challenge for Europe every single season with comparative ease. Martin Jol, bless him, changed the status quo momentarily. What we’ve managed to do since has been well documented. A mish-mashed squad of individuals who struggle to form a cohesive unit. We entertain like no other club, on and off the pitch. But the main gripes are never sorted out.

Set-pieces, defending, balance of squad. Groundhog Day.

This is not just based on the Bolton result, where the score flattered us tbh. We did nothing much for 65 minutes and reacted far too late and only when Bolton relaxed. Once we made it 2-2, they woke up again and scored, thanks to help from us who sat back when we equalised. We appear to hold our own destiny in our hands every single week. Losing (I think it’s) four games away from home in the final minutes is pretty scandalous stuff. And the reason behind it?

Mental strength. Or lack of.

We have a deep-rooted psychological problem. We have players that want to play football, who want to play it about and score magnificent goals and buzz as the ball pings with neat and tidy one-touch skills. But it’s all plastic rather than gold because turning up and wanting to be great and wanting to play great is not enough. We – individually and as a team – need to want to win all the battles across the pitch like our lives depend on it. We need to clatter the opposition. Bully them. Show we mean business instead of all this limp excuse for spirit we witness most weeks. We need more Dawsons. I can’t believe I just said that.

We have no leader and we have no bully. Weak in mind, weak in soul. And this has been us for a while now. We change the manager, we change the players. And yet the same problem always exists. When mistakes are made, does anyone get angry about it? Apart from us, the mugs in the stands?

What was it Carrick once said about us? We have a culture of failure at Tottenham. He didn’t quite say that, but that was the gist of it. The players do not appear to hate losing. It’s acceptable. It’s ok. But it shouldn’t be.

The players have to stand up and show us 100% heart and passion. How many times has this been demanded this season alone, and they don’t quite do it? We know they can because we've seen it in one-off games. But alas again, that's the problem. Botheredness.

It’s easy for the likes of Utd where they win things every year to hate losing and therefore give it that extra 110% every week because defeat and failure is unacceptable for them – but surely at a club like Spurs which aspires to be a force in English football – should see their players strive to avoid being second best? Players at the club should arrive and understand that second best is not good enough for the club. We don’t have a Ferguson. But neither do most. So what is the point of being at Spurs? You can almost taste the importance and affect Davids had at the Lane, on the training pitch and in the first team squad. Hopefully Palacios will bring us something similar with his undoubted class. Whether he has the same fire in his belly that even an 'old' Davids had is altogether another thing. But then Wilson is not the same type of player that Edgar was.

Tottenham's midfield, with Lennon in the middle

Where is the intensity? That extra yard? That willingness and aggressive nature?

We didn’t show much up at the Reebok. Well done to Bent who has a pretty good goal scoring ratio this season, even though we sometimes wonder about his ability and application game to game. Shame on our defending, especially for the third decisive goal. And maybe this one up front business can be scrapped soon as it simply doesn’t work. Most of our lads had stinkers.

We are fast running out of games now. Do I think we are going down? No. Because we will do just about enough to avoid the drop, thanks largely to the fact that there are far worse teams than us. But I pray to God the players don’t have this very same thought. Look at our away fixture and who we have to visit between now and the final game of the season. It's daunting in places.

Arsenal at home next. Three points from six games during December through to Jan is almost as bad as what we got under Ramos. The results from the first 8 games of a season will not get you relegated – it’s what you do after that and we’ve done nothing other than skip through a honeymoon period that wasn’t followed up with a successful marriage.

Let's just avoid the divorce papers.

The sooner this window shuts, and Harry stops harking on about how many points we had when he joined the better. Had we not lost any of the last four away then we’d all be a little more happier now. But we did, and we’re not. The Preimer League is a joke down at the bottom, with all teams of equal poor quality. So there's no need to laser-remove your tattoos just yet.

I bet we give it a right old ding-dong go on Sunday in the NLD. Unbeaten against Big 4 opposition this season in the League (sums us up really). And we’ll be scratching our heads trying to figure out why we can’t dish out the same performance every week. Fingers crossed, hey?

I hate football. I could never live without it.

Let's just thrash Arsenal and worry about this relegation lark later.

Thanks to Dayo for the photoshop Redknapp pic. Visit this thread over at Glory Glory for more hilarity.

Spurs 3 Stoke 1: Just like watching Barcelona

I had to rub my eyes a couple of times yesterday evening to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. There’s been nothing sexy about our football for a while now and although yesterday wasn’t quite Agent Provocateur the performance had plenty of rampant rabbits making plenty of noise in forward positions. There was titillating balls and penetration, as White Hart Lane vibrated. I’m so glad I come. Came. Went. I’m so glad I went to the game. Went.

One cold shower later..........Yes it was only Stoke City. But let’s place things into perspective. We haven’t been playing well all season. We hardly score any goals at White Hart Lane. We’ve lacked any kind of confidence and swagger for a fair while. It was important we won, more than anything, but winning with a little bit of style and slickness means we can finally have something to smile about. Simply put, Spurs showed their Premiership pedigree against a newly promoted side. Something we have failed to do against most of the opposition we have faced.

Modric was sublime in midfield, orchestrating the tempo and playing clever balls. Showed an abundance of skill on the ball, and once Palacios slots in alongside him you get the feeling he will continue to improve to life in the Prem. Zokora was busy, getting stuck in, and was lucky to escape without a yellow card. Still lacks that footballing brain to make him a quality defensive midfielder. You can never fault his effort or athleticism, but that’s not enough to claim a place in the starting line-up. Lack of competition, so looking forward to Wilson’s debut and hopefully Zokora raising his game to fight for his place. Hopefully Palacios won’t give too many free-kicks away in dangerous positions. Something of a triat for our Didier.

Lennon started the first half mini-goal spree with a great dinking run and shot. Defoe showing vision to play in Lennon who darted towards goal and scored with his left-foot. Kodjak moment. Lennon continues to impress this season, rediscovering form I thought had been lost. If he can get more power behind his shots, then he’ll score plenty more. But I won’t lose sleep if he continues to place them the way he did yesterday.

Back on track. Six more points please.

Pavlyuchenko and Defoe then showed us a glimpse of what we hope is the start of a very beautiful relationship. We got to see Pav’s all-round game in technocolor, including a wonderful highlight for goal number two. Without looking, he sent a ball into the path of Defoe. Great vision from the Russian. It's the simple things in life, no? Who cares if he can’t speak English as long as he can speak the language of football?

Cough.

Defoe hammered the ball into the back of the net rather than attempting to score across the keeper (which is what I would have tried had I found myself in a similar position on the Hackney Marshes, before looking up at the sky and cursing the Gods for the divot). That’s confidence. JD has an aura of maturity about him nowadays, with his game improving in abundance (he was only away for a year – maybe we can loan out players more often). He doesn’t get caught offside that often nowadays, which is worth a few pints in celebration alone. Pav, who usually plays ok and still scores - played very well, but didn’t score. Not that I care too much. He was a livewire.

Modric crossed with his left peg for Dawson to nod it in (great header) to make it 3-0. Party time. I laughed out loud when Dawson followed up his goal celebration with yet another one, running towards the Park Lane with what looked like a disorganised guard of honour when his team mates huddled around him. I love the big lump. The unbridled joy displayed was felt all around the stadium, apart from that bit in the corner.

Spurs? 3-0 up at the Lane? Are you mad?

Quite.

All four players buzzed around with the type of swagger we haven’t seen all season. Swagger with end-product, which is the only type of swagger that matters. Tottenham clicked. Could have had a few more in the first 45 minutes. It was Charlie and the Chocolate factory stuff.

And relax. Feet firmly back on the ground.

Second half didn’t go according to plan. It probably would have been more of the same, but a mistake from Dawson allowed Stoke to break and score, with James Beattie (does he ever NOT score against us?) getting one back. That gave Stoke a bit more belief but it was never enough to trouble us. Yes, as a Spurs fan, even 3-1 up at home is enough to make the experience uncomfortable. I joked we should bring on Bale to end his hoodoo, but only if we go 6-1 up and only in the 91st minute.

Stoke, in the first half, had three good opportunities. Did we ride our luck? Yes. But don’t all teams? They missed another very decent chance in the second half too. In the end, we got the points we deserved and players can take the confidence up to Bolton where we could do with ending that particular hoodoo.

So, in conclusion. We kept the ball very well, played it around the park with a little bit of a spark, passed it across the middle with urgency and precision and even got the fullbacks involved. There was hunger, pace. Bit of spirit and passion. And most importantly belief. Wasn't perfect by a long-shot. Would have been nice to take control of the ball (win it back) and dictate more when the impetus was momentarily lost with the Stoke goal. We need to boss it for two halves, not just one. One step at a time I guess.

Barcelona? More like Brazil, innit?

V for Victory™ update

Not looking great this little run of games which was meant to see us navigate away from the bottom 3 for the last time, without the concern of being dragged back into it.

One point, just 9 left to grab. 10 from 15 wouldn't be too shabby, but I think 5 or 6 is the best tally we can hope for based on past history re: Bolton and Arsenal.

Thankful we clawed our way back into the game today.

Bent can't Bale us out

Spurs 1 Pompey 1

It’s going to the wire.

We now sit in 16th, on 21 points – along with five other clubs. Zany. Three points from 12th and six points from 9th. Welcome to the Premier League where the bottom 12 clubs are basically rubbish. The 5 teams above the 12 are only there because of a decent run of form. The way this season is going, don’t be surprised if the table from 8th down to 20th looks completely different a month from now.

Part of me is happy that we created more chances today in 90 minutes than we have in the previous 270. Granted, half of them were Lennon scoffed shots, but there was some positivity in our play. It’s still all rather ominous though. We don’t look like a team with any belief or urgency from the offset. We sort of fall into a position of confidence after we snatch an equaliser. How about starting the game with the pretence we are already a goal down? Arguably, we are with Bale in the side.

Ok, cheap shot. I apologise. But how gutted and depressed must he feel to see us score moments after being subbed? Regardless of the voodoo, I think it’s unfair to be too harsh on the team today. They gave it a go. 15 shots on target, 11 off. James saved wonderfully from Defoe and Lennon (on one occasion when he actually put some direction and power behind the ball). Bent's miss will haunt me all the up to the next Prem game. Serves me right for laughing at Zaki’s embarrassment yesterday when he also missed an open goal when it was seemingly impossible to do so.

The fact we created so much but didn’t punish a Pompey side who weren’t too shy of goal either, highlights the desperate need for Redknapp to sign a player who will partner Defoe to (near enough) perfection.

Pav, as much as I want him to do well, isn’t the right player for the current predicament. He still looks a little lost, and although I prefer not to believe that his interpreter runs up and down the sidelines during training, translating phrases like ‘flick it on’ and ‘run into space’, I think he will benefit a team that’s balanced and winning. I suddenly see the appeal of Jones (Sunderland), although the asking price is ridiculous. Is he as accomplished a top flight goal scorer as let’s say, Darren Bent was, before we signed him? No. And look at how average that particular £15M turned out to be. The goals scored by Bent at Charlton, a team who worked hard on the counter, was never really suited for Spurs. You don't buy a particular style of player before you need him. We bought him when we already had 3 top class players. He was bought on the back of the goals scored and the hype surrounding him. No margin of error this time round. When I said near enough to perfection, I meant it. Defoe needs the perfect foil (or vice-versa).

If Villa bid £8M for bent, then we should add a bit of salt and pepper, a dollop of ketchup, and then bite their appetising hand off. Our Russian lad should play from the bench and spend the rest of the season working hard to settle in England and learn the language. As much as we cry out for a quality DM, we are just as desperate for a quality striker.

Add to that a centre-back. King went off injured. His replacement, Dawson, was very good in his place. But we need to start looking hard at bringing someone to partner Woodgate on a more permanent basis. King, we love him, but the team as a whole is more important than one individual player. The defence has to be strong and his cameos are not enough for us to be able to drive through some consistency at the back.

Back to Bale. Remember why we signed him? He’s a talent. Fantastic going forward, not brilliant defensively, but a wonderful young player. He has not lost those abilities. He is simply a wonderful player that is in rotten rotten form. When you miss Ekotto at left-back, then you know things are bad. Gareth's confidence is shot to pieces, and our much publicised lack of depth is apparent here when we have to select a player that is struggling. I hope Spurs keep the faith in the long run with Bale. We have a habit of buying young players with tons of potential for massive fees (we basically pay what the player would be worth if he turned out to be good four years from now) and then sell them if they don’t have a great start. Kaboul anyone? £8M for that gem.

So back to the game. We need to be winning these home matches. I know we missed out on the giddy heights of 12th spot, but it’s not relevant thanks to everyone practically being equal down at the bottom. The Prem won’t begin to shape up down there for another 5 or games. Might even take more. Not worth the risk in waiting and re-evaluating week to week. We need to start collating the points with that much needed urgency.

Winning today would also mean nothing if we don’t beat Stoke in our next match. It seems we are forced into re-evaluating the mathematics from week to week. That luxury will soon be gone as we move closer to game 38. Don't know about you, but going to Liverpool needing to win to stay-up on the final day of the season isn't something that I want to experience. Even if they had a dodgy lasagne, I still wouldn't fancy our chances.

By the end of Jan, we’ll hopefully have several new recruits. You would hope we'd be a far more stronger outfit come Feb, and we'd need to be to beat the top table sides (as we can't appear to beat anyone below mid-table). Points have to start rolling in.

Imagine having Berba and Keane upfront today. How many do you reckon we would have scored based on chances created? Add to it the creativity and space created by a winning partnership as our two departed players shared, and we’d be laughing. Throw in a DM and if you want to be cheeky, a left-winger and the doom and gloom will be non-existent.

What we got instead was a little bit of the old anti-luck (that Bent miss and an early Defoe chance which should have been on target). Good luck is something you get when you will yourself forwards, it smiles on you not when you are down in the dumps but when you strive to get to a higher place. Far too many of our players are feeling sorry for themselves.

Lennon played well, and is arguably our best player this season. He’s even learnt to plant a cross on a forwards head. O’Hara was busy, but is always prone to one error, which can usually lead to disaster. He got away with it today. Modric, oh Modric. I really do hope Appiah is signed by us (as I doubt Palacios is going to bother with City throwing money his way) because Luka needs a strong centre-pairing to allow him the freedom to create. He played well second half, but his back-turning moment to a tackle which saw David Nugent almost (should have) scored is not the type of thing you want to see in a dogfight. Zokora was Zokora. His first touch is Sutcliffesque, and his another player who struggles with the simple things.

Bentley wasn’t too shabby when he came on. Apart from one or two set-pieces. He created that chance for Bent. Would have been a perfect assist that. He definitely has the look of a player feeling sorry for himself. But his performance was encouraging.

Defoe took his goal very well (glad to have him back), through the legs of Sol Campbell. Nice touch. And how refreshing was it not to spend the whole game singing silly songs about this ex-player? Although when the Park Lane hummed the controversial re-worked Lord of the Dance song, I even saw a copper smile.

Altogether now.....

Sol Sol
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la

Overall, decent game, decent performance – and on another day, we could have won it (but on the flip side, Pompey could have scored one or two more themselves....and Nugent scored, so that sums that up). David James played his part, as he usually does when he faces us.

Stoke at home MUST BE, HAS TO BE three points for us. Much like today was, but the Prem, as I said, allows for this re-evaluation. For now.

Redknapp did well today considering the players who got injured (Pav shouldn’t be out for too long, but King is ‘long term'). And Gomes, Corluka and Lennon all played on with slight knocks. Harry could only make the one tactical substitution today.

Bit more application required, urgency too and whoever we bring in should see to it. I hope. It’s a broken record, but formations and tactics will work better if the right players are in the right positions.

It’s crazy that around 9 months ago, White Hart Lane was the goal-scoring capital of the world. Blink, and you’d miss one. 4-4’s all the range, yet today, although defensively we have one of the best records at home, offensively it’s the worst in all of the leagues.

Obviously, we need to be running around a lot more and sticking it in the net.

V for Victory™ - D is for Demoralising

Disgusting, disgraceful, dismal, dejected.

5 games - 1 game down, 0 points, 1 defeat, 12 points available

What the fuck is actually going on? Won the double in 61 and then nothing since. Fucking cunts the lot of them. Tear it up and start again. Wankers. I might have manflu, but at least Night Nurse will see to my recovery. As for Spurs? They have an incurable disease. No matter the players or managers, it's the same old excuses and problems. It's tiresome. It's pathetic. These are the games we are meant to be showing up for.

You can sit there and question the line-up, that found Ledley King paired up with Zokora in centre-midfield. Bentley and Lennon dropped to the bench, mainly due to when Lennon plays, Bentley has to make do with the left-hand side which results in nothing more than an inept display. King and Zokora gave us nothing in midfield. But then why would anyone expect a centre-back to display the clout to dominate that part of the pitch? Doing it for England an age ago in one game is not a good enough reason to test it out again, especially away from home. And especially with us sitting so low in the table. Bentley on the bench is fine, because on form, he deserves to be there or worse.

You could also question the general negative approach to the game. Or the substitutions that made no sense tactically. Why start with a formation and change it a quarter of an hour later? Because it's so apparent it's not quite working perhaps? What was the point of taking Modric off? Well, I suppose because he was distinctively average today. But the difference made was practically invisible.

You could question the lack of desire and passion and direction. The will to win, the will to want to win. Three times now we've conceded (winners) in the final minutes/seconds (Newcastle, WBA, Wigan) and lost.

That's softer than Winne the Pooh's belly-button.

Yes. Here we are again. We got rid of Ramos and replaced him and the arrival of HR gave us some great results, and that seems to have been it. Maybe we need to sack Harry and bring in a new manager, and do so every 8 games until we are mathematically safe. We don't actually have to sack Harry for real. He can just wear a face-mask every couple of months and talk through a voicebox. The seriousness of our current position in the Prem doesn't appear to be enough in the way of inspiritation for our millionaire players to react too.

I still say stick a couple of fans into the half-time dressing room to give an additional team talk to the one Harry gives.

Injuries, lack of creative juice, bad luck and the textbook disappearance of concentration at the death all mixed in with some poor tactical instructions give us a 91st minute defeat like only Spurs can muster up. And the defeat was justified.

No dream debut for JD, failing to score or do little else. Much like the rest of the team.

Harry has surely now run out of sound-bites and wisecracks to tell the press in the post-match interviews. A slice of shut-the-fuck-up pie followed by a glass of actions-speak-louder-than-words for the man at the helm, please. Serve it up hot.

Bale. Still no Prem league win. But face it, it's not his fault he has no confidence playing in a shit football team. Then again, his all round play is woeful to the extent that if Bentley doesn't deserve to play first team football, then neither does Bale. Jenas returns to the first team and yet it's almost like he's still out injured, such is the impact of the player.

Lennon came on, hardly touched the ball. Bent on for Pav was insignificant. Sums it all up with Zokora had the best chance of the game for us.

Bottom 3 once more. Blackburn have a game in hand on us. The next two home games are do or die for sure. Pompey and Stoke at home. I would now not even bother with the FA Cup of the UEFA Cup. Then again, we won't be beating Utd or Shakhtar Donetsk anyway, so at least the Prem games will take priority. Which is what they should be but don't appear to be.

The Redknapp effect has worn off and he's got the look of relegation written all over his ugly mug. Or maybe that's just the reflection of the players wearing Lilywhite.

V for Victory™ - 15 points, Do or Die

This may be the most important moment of your life. Commit to it. They took your Berbatov from you. They took your Keano from you. They put you in the bottom three and took everything they could take except your hope. And you believed that was all there was, didn't you?

The only thing you had left was your hope, but it wasn't, was it? You found something else. In that bottom three, you found something that mattered more to you than hope. Because when they threatened to laugh at you unless you gave them what they wanted... you told them you'd rather die. You faced the emails and jokes.

You were calm. You were still. Try to feel now what you felt then.

Try to remember the impact Harry Redknapp made. And hope he makes it again.

Ok, so plagiaristic introduction aside, it's time for another series of games that might help comfort us in the weeks ahead by applying more pressure to each league game as they take on a meaning akin to a Cup game. By comfort us, I meant shit bricks.

5 games. 3 of them at White Hart Lane, which should be an advantage, but considering our current home form, it's not. And if that isn't enough to be concerned about, take note that only the 5th game (against Arsenal) is against opposition that we tend to show up for.

Wigan, Pompey and Stoke are three teams that we've failed to beat this season. Bolton away is much like WBA away. We lay down and die. And now, ironically, these games are pretty much do or die. Dramatics aside, this is a good a time to buck up our ideas and get moving up the table.

Dare I predict?

Ideal (yet within the boundaries of reality) Results:

(A) Wigan ---------------- D
(H) Pompey -------------- W
(H) Stoke City ------------ W
(A) Bolton ---------------- D
(H) Arsenal --------------- D

9 points from a possible 15, giving us a total of 29. That will probably, depending on what the other teams around us do, leave us in pretty much the same position, which means after these 5 games, we'll have to have the same attitude for every single remaining game from now to the end of the season. But best to worry about anything post-Arsenal once we get there.

From the above forecast, Bolton away is the most likely to result in defeat, which makes 8 points the minimum. Obviously, all dependent on Spurs bothering to play for a win. As we saw with the Challenge Spurs™ series of games, usually, the points came from games you least expected them from. Let's hope for some surprises in our favour.

Two home wins and anything but defeat against Arsenal is IMPERATIVE. 15 points is what they should be aiming for because 15 points will genuinely make the following 5 games less stressful. Although every time Spurs get comfortable, we drop back into the mire again. But rather the 15 then nothing. You know, what's in the bag is in the bag.

These next five games is all about Spurs, Harry and the players, showing us their worth. I guess they did that against Fulham and WBA, but I'll allow for a second chance before I start mapping out routes to Blackpool and Plymouth.

Wouldn't be Spurs if there wasn't any heart palpitations, so hold onto your hats.

I'll eat mine, and I'll shave my head if we win all 5 games.