Spurs 0 Wigan 1, dvd unavailable at club shop

Spurs 0 Wigan 1

Now that's what I call falling back down to earth with a bump.

Wigan didn't park the bus in front of the goal. They all screamed shotgun and drove it around White Hart Lane. Didn't even bother with seat-belts. Credit to them for their hard work off the ball, closing us down, not allowing us time to stick a foot on the ball and take control of the tempo gauge. They did park up second half. And not because they run of gas. However, shame on us for not having the tenacity to push them off the ball, stick that foot on it, and smash 'em out of N17.

It was made even more so comfortable by our lack of composure. Sloppy, uneasy early play meant confidence to Wigan and not a lot in the way of penetrative football from us. Couple of decent Defoe efforts, but lacklustre in comparison to what we can do. What we know we can do. Champions League hangover? Hate that phrase already. Not something I want to be hearing again this season.

Turned up the pace in the second half, but it was still all a bit stuck at the 60% mark. No swagger. No clean crisp classic Tottenham movement. Shades of last seasons dark moments at the Lane. Basically, on days like this, you tend to get the following head-shaking components:

We start slow
We survive a couple of scares
We fail to take hold of the game
We retain possession
We create some chances, but don't finish them
The game progresses
And continues to progress
But we never truly dictate
And we never actually visibly shift gear

What you have here is break-down of the quintessential Spurs home game non-entity, which results in a long walk home up the high road and Match of the Day removed from your recording schedule.

BAE giving his doubters some evidence of his sometimes dodgy concentration. Off he went at half-time, Niko on, with Pav on for Crouch (Gio on late on for Azza). Possession mostly with us, Wigan just defending, remaining disciplined.

For us, frustration personified. Ominous. You could see what was coming. Because we've seen it before.

How we joked pre-match we'd win comfortable. I guess if we're going to earn distinction on the lessons learnt (lost) from last season by losing again to remind us of our frailties, we may as well get them out of the way early doors because any more misfiring like today and we'll regret it towards the back end of the season when we tally up the points. One mistake at home, that's your lot Spurs. No room for more, k?

We lacked any sort of individual magic, talismanic inspiration or moment of brilliance to get us out of the sleepy performance. You know the sort of thing, when you play below average, but someone out there does something completely out of the blue and out of synch with the rest of the game, to win the points.

How long is Modric out for?

BAE going off and having Bale move back into LB position meant we lost that power going forward, but then he wasn't overly impressing today anyway. No one was.

It's funny how nowadays, when we drop points, its usually because the side don't quite get it together, rather than being abjectly rubbish or outplayed off the park. Ordinary is enough for a hard-working side to get the better of us. Yes I know - it doesn't happen often but that doesn't mean we can't be displeased when we see it play out again. It's easy for the opposition because all they need to do is the same thing all afternoon because we're not going to try anything different to shock/surprise them. Granted we came close, but it was all apologetic©. And this allows them to the opportunity to perhaps steal all points.

Then we enter the final ten minutes of the game. That's when we completely switch off, fall apart. It's getting a bit silly this. I still struggle to see a leader on the pitch. Pre-match huddles are over-rated. Can we not just pretend we're playing Chelsea every week?
 
78 minutes (Alcaraz). And again on 79 minutes (Gomez). Two massive misses from Wigan. Phews everywhere. Lucky escape you thought to yourself. So we let them have another go. 80 minutes (Rodallega), 0-1 Wigan.

Contrary to popular belief, it still exists.

Couple of chances to equalize (Niko, excellent save, Daws, another superb save), but what does it matter? Banana skin well and truly slipped on.

This is the 4th time (recently) so we are not quite grasping the resolution to this problem. Perhaps it was written in the stars, redemption for Wigan for last seasons humiliation and their nightmare start this term. And for one appearance only, the Tottenham Hotspur Charity (we give to the needy) decided to donate all three points. Bless us.

We had Kaboul at the death, easier to score. So he misses. But no scapegoats, the whole team and Harry need to get to grips once and for all why we stuttered and slumped. And Harry in particular needs to work hard on this. Tactics, they don't win you games, players do. So he says. Well, our players still have a chink in their armour that I'd rather not be seeing. And there's an argument that when the opposition do frustrate you, if you do happen to say, change the formation (and thus tactics) they might not be able to cope, what with the onus on the opposition to stop a renewed and different charge forward.

Losing at home to a side that we should never be dropping points too. We all didn't expect this because it was way too obvious for it to happen. And yet here we are about to knee-jerk (let's not).

Two home games, one point. Let's try not to do this after every CL game please. Because I reckon that's going to be the excuse for this shower of nothingness. It poured the other night against the Young Boys. It dripped today.

Wasted afternoon. Wasted for everyone other than the 60 away supporters who travelled down probably believing they would witness another spanking for their miserable side. Not so miserable today. Ridiculous is football. Champions League? You're 'aving a...I can't even be bothered.

This is not meant to be the way we roll.

Tactics

We have the players so lets see more of an in-game evolution of 442, to 433. It's going to be a necessary ploy for us in Europe. If a side is parking the bus, or hassling us, or whatever, there has to be a positive change. Harry has got it right before with substitutions, so I can't help thinking that we are still, somewhat, slightly fragile. We appeared to be - as eleven players - one predator that couldn't quite muster up the effort to chase and kill its prey.

I wont knee-jerk because this type of performance will only happen 2 or 3 times a season - but that's potentially nine points lost. So, greedy as I am, I want to see it eradicated from our match-day make-up. Completely.

Individuals

No point singling out and criticising anyone in particular tbh. It was a collective fudge up. Everyone was low-key, lacked urgency, no game-changer. Under-par all over the pitch.

Creative spark

We have plenty of players to supply one, so let's not be knee-jerking about Hudd or Bale or anyone else. As above, collectively, nobody was on-form today. Simple as that. Shame of course, that nobody was able to lift the team for that moment of inspiration. Because, its what the big teams do, even when they play crap. Not so big today Tottenham.

Wigan

They got their own tactics spot on. Considering they took all three points in similar fashion to how we lost them last season in the same ilk of depressive defeats. Talking of which...

Wolves, Hull and Stoke and now Wigan

No more. Breaking down these types of teams appears to be our main gripe. Taking all the good things into account, the fact we can beat Arsenal, Chelsea then City with the pressure on (end of last season), but fail when we're favourites to win at home against a side inferior to us proves there's still an issue.

Redknapp post-match

He called it a rare day. And I agree. It's good we can name and shame disappointing games because they don't came around often any more. Let's not forget that. But like I've said already, it's not excusing it because if we want to push on, we can't afford to be baffled too often, especially on our own patch.

Enjoy the bank holiday. Hopefully we'll see some game-changing new signings arrive to help with restoring a smile or two on our frowning faces.

COYS, hugs and stuff.

Running the gauntlet

Unbeaten in 17 league and cup games at White Hot Lane. No Gomes or Moddle, hopefully the same team that played midweek with perhaps a Gallas debut for one of the changes (along with obviously CC in-between the sticks). JD - is he isn't he is he...having an op? I'd say get it done and dusted, three week lay-off - then he's got the rest of the (long) season to get on with finding the back of the net. Rather than risk any aggravation with his apparently not so important to have an op now injury. He's in the squad so I guess no decision has been made yet.

Honestly, even if Wigan parked the bus, we have enough about us to bulldoze through it. I'm not suggesting a repeat 9-1 performance. Having been spanked twice already this season I think Wigan will have just a little bit more about them, but then, it's all about the confidence, isn't it? If we come out all Spurs v Man City, then I expect a DVD sequel to be manufactured seconds after the final whistle and available in the Spurs Shop first thing Tuesday morning. If Wigan go with the physicality and try to stop start the game, we might require patience, and that might suit them more than it suits us if last seasons home defeat lessons are not fresh in our minds as unavoidable conclusions.

We'd have to be frustrated by them massively and like I said, I can't see it happening. Plucky fight from the visitors, 4-0 to us. Suicide watch if we somehow manage to lose.

Wigan park the bus...

I like this from the OS:

Roberto Martinez's men have kicked-off the campaign with 4-0 and 6-0 home losses against Blackpool and Chelsea respectively and return to the site of a 9-1 hammering last season.

But Gareth felt stepping back out at the Lane might just inspire the Latics. "They will be looking for revenge but we'll be ready for that and be prepared for it," he said.

"We know we can't underestimate Wigan. They've had a difficult start and had the result here last season but we'll be fully focused on doing our jobs and hopefully getting the win."

This inspires confidence. Unleash the beast. With an additional Hudd master-class. And I'll smile a mile wide into the bank holiday weekend.

Random time: Our next few games (excluding the Carling Cup) seems to be all about the 'W's.

Wigan. WBA. Werder Bremen. Wolves. West Ham. Five w's, five wins, yeah? Here's hoping.

Elsewhere, journalists take Avram Grants words, add a twist, and suggest Parker could well leave West Ham, so obviously this means he's joining us. Hopefully not. Fabiano is apparently too expensive. And that's just about it. And Ashley Young is again linked.

I'm still certain of two new arrivals to add to the Sandro signing. It's going to go down to the wire again. Because it's how we roll.

9-1. Frolicsome. Lap it up.

Unbelievable, I'm still trembling with glee on the back of this epic buzz. What a result. What a result. Jedward, finally voted off the X-Factor. Superb. Oh, and Spurs won 9-1.

In my match preview, I made one or two simple requests:

We need the team to give us a confident performance. That’s one that sees us play well, dominate possession and swagger it with tasty end product. One that keeps us 4th in the table.

No banana skin frolics or daft defending.

Prediction? I'm going for a home win.

Honestly chaps, 3-0 would have done me just fine. No complaints about the dismantling of lickle Wigan. We were lethal, clinical and swaggered around like pimps in fur coats gripping diamond studded canes. It's all about the game, and we were game on. There have been plenty of teams who have defended shockingly in the past but the opposition still has to punish them for it. These type of results don't happen often. It's a rare combination that includes not just the welcomed ingredient of the opposition crumbling under the pressure but for the side dishing out the spanking to be completely on fire, all cylinders positively bursting. We deserved what we got and the same can be said of Wigan. They simply couldn't handle the hot Spurs.

Lennon was irresistible, tearing it up, dribbling, hugging the touchline, cutting in, teasing, pin-point crossing, assist after assist after assist. Unplayable. Niko schemed, play-making to his hearts content which included one moment of brilliance that saw him flick the ball over a defenders head and then play a perfect 30 yard pass (obviously with the outside of his foot) into the path of Defoe who had his shot saved. One of the rare occasions that JD wasn't wheeling away to celebrate. Five goals, only the 3rd time a Prem player has achieved such a feat, which included a 7 minute hat-trick. Ridiculous. Even David Bentley managed a worthy cameo, hitting a splendid free-kick (that came back off Chris Kirkland and in) and setting up Niko for the 9th. And to think it was 1-0 at half time.

3-D special edition dvd blatantly in post-production.

Keane sat out the game on the bench (conspiracy clause theory RIP) with JD and Crouch leading the front-line. Hudd with Wilson in the middle, Azza back on the right and Niko starting on the left. The depressives amongst us would pose the question…where's the strength in the middle? Having Palacios as the only defensive player considering the way Sunderland outplayed us last time out might have left a few scratching heads over our potential fragility. But no repeat concerns here. We started well and other than perhaps the latter stages of the first half looked to be in control. Lennon tormenting Edman and crossing for Crouch for 1-0 as early as the 9th minute. Solid stuff. Dare I say balanced? Ok, so the opposition wasn't world-class, but neither was Stoke at the Lane and looked what happened there.

This was simply the perfect performance for the occasion. Devestating.

Relentless pace on one side and sexual football on the other. Aaron and Niko bossed it. A goal-assisting factory, oozing out chance after chance after chance - effortlessly. The passing, crossing, movement was stand-up-on-your-feet majestic at times. Best individual performance of the season thus far from our little rude-boy on the wing. As for Kranjčar? Offensively and defensively sublime. You want swagger bottled up and branded? Look no further than this cracking Croat who had the Ginolas about him as he owned the White Hart Lane turf. Although ownership is a trinity, completed by the irresistible Defoe who bagged himself five (1-2-3-4-5). Faultless display, ruthlessly punishing the luckless Wigan back-line who seemed to collapse on point every time JD moved. He was bang on it, not just with his finishing but his all-round play. That loan spell at Pompey was a masterstroke.

And in the middle a welcomed return to form for our General, breaking up any faint hope of opposition momentum to his hearts content. A defensive paragon of bricks. And let's not forget Tommy Huddlestone. Oh yes. No QE2 jokes. The big man was in his element. Top drawer passing, unlucky not to score. This is the type of game where you forget about any weakness and wish that all opposing teams wore bright orange. If you're wondering, Jenas was on the bench (and not eaten by Tom as part of his pre-match meal) but came on very late in the game, too late to make an impact. Maybe more faith is required on my part in future relating to the conundrum that is the Hudd, as Harry has no qualms in selecting him.

You can hardly fault anyone on the day. Crouch was busy. The defence strong and organised. You know it's a cracking day at the office when forgotten man Bentley shines with a goal (ok, ok, OG) and an assist.

As for the Wigan goal? Hand-ball. Replay? Go on then, why not. Defoe might even manage a double-hat-trick.

8 goals scored in the second half. 5 goals from one man,  3 of them in a 7 minute spell. Lovely. Tottenham Hotspur. She's like a stunning looking girlfriend who too often complains about headaches as you lay in bed despondent, and then makes up for it by fucking your brains out and leaving you jelly-legged on cloud nine.

Also, special mention to Darren Bent.

Good weekend innit?