Sandy signs

Transfer sagas. We do them better than anyone. During the duration of the deal that appears to have taken Sandro from Internacional to White Hart Lane (pending medical and the dreaded work permit) we've done little talking out in the open. Other than Harry's rehearsed sound-bites to questions from the media about how he thinks 'the chairman' is working away at it, we've not given much away. It's been impressive from our side. No need to be in the know until everyone is made to know.

All the hullabaloo that has kept the guessing at Richter scale 8.0 has come out of Brazil (not quite epic - that honour belongs to The Sock aka Diego who hit around 10.0) with the deal - on the surface - yo-yo'ing from collapse to maybe from one week to the next. I even got distracted with suggestions that Real Madrid were sniffing around, which is believable considering the noise made was loud enough to attract their limitless pot of money and acquisition greed. That and someone saw some documents, but let's not talk about that.

As per usual we all take every written word as variants of gospel. Sort of. Not always believing it to be factual but still deeming it worth of commentary and making assumptions based on the half-truths (gospel) in the aftermath.

Politics, deflection, mis-quotes, lies, guesswork…whatever you want to tag them as, you never quite knew how far-gone the progress of signing this young rough diamond midfield player was because of all the hype. I'm sure a representative from Internacional (or was it their chairman, I forget?) suggested that the clubs partnership (to loan players to us) was not even finalised. There was always a lopsided viewpoint which for the rest of us translated as: This is a difficult transfer. Even the player got involved and in the end the clue was in the statement about learning English in preparation for a possible move. The words 'done' and 'dusted' finally whispered quietly for the first time.

All very colourful and erratic. Which is what you come to expect from the boys from Brazil. Regardless of how we've got here. We are here. And if you strip away all the message board discussions and red top twist and turns, you might find yourself believing that this deal wasn't as tricky as it looked.

We showed interested. We signed him. Months later, but still, signed.

73 appearances for his club. Three goals. And one full international cap (and has captained the Brazilian U-20 side). I've not seen enough of him to form a true opinion. I'm sure most of you are in the same boat, and tbh, when it comes to players from abroad there is always a risk element, mostly around adapting to the culture and EPL. And the types of Brazilians who travel over here are never the sexy types. But then we don't want that. What we need is more steel.

So, who is Sandro?

He's young. He's athletic, very strong but perhaps not the best passer - so they say. We wanted an understudy for Palacios - we've got one. Uncanny. And to bring in a player of this ilk means that he must have some potential because we're going to have to be patient (look up the word in a dictionary) for him to bed in. Unless his mental strength and confidence is such, that he will be happy to be thrown into the deep end and come to terms with English football quickly.

Does give us options in the middle now, and quite possibly spells the end of Jenas. Yes - JJ is a different type of player (not sure what type he is - I'll let you know the day he reaches his potential) but with Huddlestone, Palacios, Modric and now Sandro - we have enough in the middle to swagger it up even more than usual. New cult hero in our ranks?

/prays

The more cynical amongst us might think this deal is part of the relationship we have with Internacional and them loaning youth players to us in preparation for any potential move they make to Europe. Is this a sweetener? A long term deal? Does the player see the next five years of his career at Spurs? Does his former club get any % of any future transfer?

The even more cynical amongst us would go one further and question why the likes of Kleberson, Denilson and Lucas are supposedly ahead of him in the defensive midfield pecking order for his country.

Where's that dictionary?

Talking of cult heroes check out Spurs' Cult Heroes - the first published book from All Action No Plot blogger and writer Michael Lacquiere. I'll give it a proper review when I get my copy delivered. Be sure to check it out anyway, available from the Spurs official site, WHSmith, Amazon, Tesco, Waterstones and Play…to name a few. Shop around.

Blanchflower, Mackay, Jones, Chivers, Gilzean, Jennings, Hoddle, Perryman, Greaves, Mabbut, Ginola, Nicholson, Gazza…list is endless. Well, it's not exactly endless because he'd never have been able to get the book out, but its jam-packed with legends.

Will be giving away a copy soon. Stay tuned.

THFC Battle Cry

Dear Mr Levy,

Medusa. It's a bitch. I can smell her stench. It's a sickly smell, one that reminds me of Upton Park, 2006. We've been here before. It's a fate that grates me. One that has to be avoided. Turning to stone is the expected outcome that those who scorn us will no doubt be hoping to witness. Again.

Can we find the guile and courage and craft to severe her head from her neck and leave victorious? Are we prepared for the task ahead, this clash of titanic proportions? Us against the odds. Us against ourselves and our fears, our personal demons?

Do we have what it takes? Do we dare? When Perseus faced the Medusa he was prepared, but that guile and courage - that fearlessness - he had that in abundance. And without that self-belief you won't get far. You won't finish the job. Even if you think you have the right tools for it.

Winged sandals

We are without the devastating speed that Aaron Lennon provides us with, jinxing down the wing, crossing the ball with pace and precision (well, mostly) and sometimes even brave enough to have a go himself. But we do have Gareth Bale, altogether a different type of talent but equally impressive. A beast. Strong and yet wonderfully skillful, there is almost an ironic blessing here to see him shifted into left-midfield from left-back giving us a vital outlet of attack. Vital and consistent, driving and flying forwards with absolute determination. I want to kiss him, run my fingers through his lush thick hair, this man with the face of a monkey, this young powerhouse of a winger. Hoodoo? He eats hoodoo for breakfast with a sprinkling of sugar and a glass of orange juice to wash it down with.

Luka Modric is possibly our most esteemed creative force. But some may argue that he is tied to the restraints of central midfield, without the ability to cut in from the left hand side and dictate the tempo in a way that impacts the opposition far more than standing alongside Palacios. It can sometimes be a congested midfield where the ickle Croatian's wizardry is lost in the dirt and grit. His work rate is unquestionable and perhaps patience is required whilst he adjusts to this emergency position. We all know he is more than capable of getting his hands (feet) dirty and can deal with the physicality just fine. Huddlestone is still out so hopefully Luka can turn on the magic and control the game from the centre much like he does from the wing. We await for his resurgence. But patience is a virtue we do not have.

Niko has a role on the right as we continue to make-shift with so many absent players. Outside of his comfort zone perhaps, but with enough ability to aid us in our quest. As a unit there is enough there to allow us to craft and create and devastate. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

Mirrored shield

If we lost Wilson Palacios to suspension we might find ourselves in a position that might leave us motionless. Unable to side-step any potential final fatal nightmare. Why look into her eyes when you can bite her ankles off? Wilson is imperative. He has re-discovered some of that mojo he had when he first arrived at the Lane. Enough to sprinkle his own brand of Patheresque dominance in his arena. You shall not pass, the message on the door that never opens because he's standing there cool as a cucumber, arms crossed, studs up.

The work he does, closing down and defending and generally shielding the area between defence and midfield allows the more creative players time to muster up some of that ye old Tottenham magic. If we get over-run in the centre, then Modric has no protection, neither does our defence and there is deterioration of structure and balance through the side. As if  turned to stone, unable to move. It's a shame there is no understudy. Yet. The boy from Brazil has never been needed more, alas, he will have to wait and see if its Europa or Champions he'll be participating in next season (if he finally signs).

For now, we live on the edge. What two games will Wilson end up missing? I can think of a couple that will leave me a broken man if he isn't present. Otherwise, we are left with only one alternative. No not Jenas.  We'll need to rush Wilson in for major cosmetic facial surgery to make him look like Jenas. A Jermaine Jenas who has put on some weight since being injured and allowed gravity to shorten his height and make him appear far more stocky than normal. And yet he's a better play for it. Sshh.

As for the defence. Gomes. Corluka. Bassong. Dawson. BAE. With King edging closer to a cameo. Even if people choose to highlight the plight of Ledley and Woodgate and continue to question our keeper who has 9 out-standing games but critics feel the need to highlight one game where he flapped a couple of times. The stats tell a story of consistency and unity at the back, even if on paper we have appeared to be fragmented and stretched. The injuries to our old trusted guard meant our young ones have grown in stature, and have gained worthy experience. It's Spurs, yet I'm not that worried about us defensively. Not half as much as yesteryear.

A sword

To sever the head with. Cutting edge is something that has deserted us once or twice this season, but we have remained consistent and have worked hard to escape out of the lulls that have tested our resilience. Jermain Defoe has been prolific. Crouch not so much in front of goal and the subject of much debate regarding his attacking credentials. Is he a Plan B but not good enough as a Plan A? When he doesn't score, does his selection allow for positives in the way of assists and team play? Or does his presence introduce negatives in the way of long balls and knock-downs which is not the most beautiful or even effective style of play available to us?

Enter Roman Pavlyuchenko. The forgotten man who can't stop scoring. Rejuvenated and confident. Not perfect but a striker who is capable of playing a part in build up play - the type that involves caressing the ball on the ground rather hoofing it up in the air. Something Peter is also capable of but alas sometimes we forget. But he (Roman) can go missing at times. But who can argue against his current goal-scoring ratio to games played? Not me.

Both Roman and JD still have to step it up another level. There are now no games left for us to look back on with regret. Chances must be taken otherwise we'll be taken down. Strike without remorse. No matter the opposition. Show no respect other for one's self.

Cap of invisibility

We are not alone in this quest for glory. There are others fighting to claim full ownership of this particular destiny. It's impossible to go unnoticed. Not when you sit in the position you wish to finish in. Every game is heavily scrutinised pre- and post- match. And if someone wins, expectations are with them, if someone loses they are practically written off. It's misleading, confusing and creates illusions of hope/false hope.

But rather than spend time looking at the enemies around us, predicting and calculating, and instead of showing interest in the battles they will head into and use their results as a means of validation, it is all rendered redundant if we take a different tact on proceedings. In the grand scheme of things if we simply win the games we have ahead of us - it's as much as we can ever do - and our destiny will be in our own hands, under our control. Rather than in the hands of others. It's obvious I know, but the distractions can and have caused us headaches before. It’s time to look away and only look forward.

You might think retaining a level where each game is played as though it was a Cup final is an unrealistic expectation considering our injury plight and the fact that the atmosphere on and off the pitch is different depending on the opposing side and its fans. However, having anchored ourselves up in the Gods - no matter what - remaining there is the sole objective. Regardless of the wounded on the sidelines. Regardless of the mistakes and lost points in the past. We are 4th at the moment. So if we've managed to get there and stay there and reclaim this position during the duration of this Premier League season, then why give it up now?

If we are out of sight the opposition won't be able to see us. If we can't be seen we can't be caught. Playing each game like a Cup final? If the players want Champions League football then they have no other option.

There is nowhere to hide. Regardless of the opposition, regardless of the battlefield. It's heart-on-sleeves or nothing. Speculate. Force the issue. Leave no room for excuses and take nothing for granted.

So step forward Perseus. All eleven of you. And every single one of you in the stands. We might not be facing a Medusa or a Kraken in each remaining week that passes us by, but we may as well be. Because failure is not a path I want us to walk down. Especially the ilk of apologetic failure.

It's time to rip that bitches head clean off her f**king neck.

No hanging of effigies. No burning of season tickets. No boycott of the Spurs shop. No kidnapping and shaving Chirpy. No throwing frozen shit pellets at the scandalously expensive sports cars the players own. And no stalking of you Daniel, hiding in the rose bush beneath your bathroom window watching and recording as you shower and shine your majestic head. I call a truce.

My heart and lungs belong to THFC unconditionally from now until the final day of the season, more so than ever.

Good luck to all of you. Good luck to us all. To Harry and the players. Let battle commence.

Yours sincerely and with eternal faith and belief,

Spooky

Spurs away to Wolves...this is no side show

13 games left. And tonight's visit to Wolves is a 100% 'have to bloody win no sorry pathetic excuses or what ifs' type of encounter. I know we can't and won't be winning all our remaining matches, but (with no disrespect meant) this has to be our three points. Grafted and deserved. It's considerably more comfortable a game than one or two other fixtures ahead of us.

The opposition might not be big, but the game is most definitely king-sized. Complacency? I damn you to hell. Plums are of no use here, bring your grape-fruits.

Can we do it? We can, can we not? You're not stalling your answer, are you?

So therefore, I expect to be pushing ahead with my planned demonstration outside THFC tomorrow, with one banner, one simple banner stating the words: DIE LEVY DIE

I am not asking for the resignation of any of the directors or the manager. It's not that kind of demonstration. I am simply pointing my finger towards the person solely responsible for the club and it's progression so others witnessing are left with no doubt as to the persons identity, allowing them to join in with proceedings. It's subtle, I know. And you might wonder why I'm doing this in German. It's dramatic. It reminds me of Klinsmann.

Harsh you might think that I'm waving my finger just at the chairman. And I do believe he should have done more in the last window. Not suggesting we over-spent or panic-bought. But simply worked harder to secure a deal for another midfielder. We've had since the summer to do so. The chance to consolidate is one that has been missed. Much like 2006. But the team is still more than capable. And we remain a club without (potentially) crippling debt.

I'm ignoring Harry's 'we can finish about Arsenal' media-friendly pre-match nonsense. And I'm happy to hear Luka speak of the Wolves defeat (back at the Lane) and how revenge is on the cards tonight. And although King will be absent, I can not disagree that if we do continue to play the way we are playing, we are going to hit good winning form.

I personally believe we'll smash someone to bits very very soon. Teams defend deep, suffocate space and make it a pain the backside for us when playing in N17 causing way too much fragmented urgency. Away, it's different. They come and have a go, allowing our players to use the space presented to them. It's ironic we are more comfortable on our travels. No always, but more often than in previous years.

We need to be lucky by making up our own luck. And we need to take a risk, both on the pitch and off it (then on it) - in the way of substitutions at pivotal moments in the game. Would be nice to see Niko make an appearance tonight - at some point. And the continued improvement of Bale and Bentley goes without say. But most importantly, we need to be patient. Much like we were at Leeds in the cup.

So, with those thoughts in mind, I'm hoping to see you all tomorrow, outside the ground at around 11am. In celebration of victory, and in celebration and support of our chairman. A love parade of sorts. A demonstration of endearment for The Levy; Daniel Levy. And the supporting cast of manager and players. Our support is very much needed. Believe. And the players will believe.

After tonight, its down to just 12 games and 36 points.

Can we do it? We can, can we not? Of course we bloody can.

COYS.

How much does a Bentley cost?

So apparently, Daniel Levy does not envisage the club being very active cometh the Jan transfer window, although he suggests that if opportunities arise we'll take note - but shouldn't expect any net spending. And to dizzy up the quotes further he's reassured Harry that there will be no disruption to the core team. To quote Mr Chairman:

"Having a settled squad gives us the best chance for consistency. We are striving for top-level displays, including the ability to take on and beat the so-called top four teams."

I'm thankful we have proven top 4 players like Robbie Keane in the squad. And Gerrardesque midfielders such as Jenas box to boxing their way up and down the pitch, when he's not sitting on the bench watching Huddlestone do the same thing. Well, not do the same thing pound-for-pound. Hudd has no need for speed. He lets the ball do all the running. Mobility is for people with no footballing brain. But midfield semantics aside, we're good to go. We've got a back four unit, robust and sturdy, a mixture of youth and experience. Mostly youth at the moment. And we have cover for our midfield enforcer. He's at Pompey, but should be back with us in no time. We've got no true cover for our little wing wizard, but that's fine, because he won't get injured. And as for our forward line-up (did I mention Robbie Keane?) we've got the master of scoring goals in bursts and breaking the offside trap (Defoe) and the perfect foil (Crouch) when our players forget tactics and resort to hoofing the ball. And let's not be forgetting the soon-to-be-back-in-Lilywhite, Luka Modric. Who I guess in essence will be akin to a brand spanking new signing. Maybe we could have a press conference and pretend we've just signed him to make up for the despondency that there will not be a £15M transfer splurge on new blood when 2010 tick tocks into our lives.

Consistency equates to beating the so-called top four teams. Who are so-called top four because they finish in the top four positions. I made that connection all on my own. And we've had consistency this season, be it with missing players (due to injuries) and an ever-changing back-four line-up and erratic forwards which has given us a consistent set of results. 3-1, 3-0, 3-0. Zero points. Against three of the top four. The other one doesn't count because everyone is beating them.

So enjoy your Christmas presents because we wont be unwrapping too much in the way of surprises when the window reopens. Other than Sandro. Because Harry mentioned we're interested and the chairman is working towards a deal. Oh, and we're going to need to add a little in the way of depth when replacing Roman Pavlyuchenko and David Bentley. They're not core players. We hardly ever play them. And they're not very good. And for the sake of avoiding egg on face (or perhaps managing to wipe away the egg currently on face) the club will need to recover something from their self-pitying stays in N17. And we all know Bentley is a certainty to go after his show-boating antics in a Spurs friendly game that infuriated Harry. You'll have seen it doing the rounds today. A few days after the story was posted and shared in various message boards. You know the one. The one where Harry tells David he's going to get rid of him. DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM-DA-DADUM.

Let's hope we get a good price for a cluttered Bentley with a dodgy engine and hanging fuzzy dice.

I can't keep this up anymore.

There is no story here. We've obviously not got bundles of cash to spunk wastefully on players. Mainly because we've already spunked it. On wasteful players. We're letting people know indirectly (directly) we have no intention of over-spending (breaking a habit of a life-time here).

The main backbone of the side is good enough to sustain some sort of challenge. As good a challenge that a club like Spurs (non-Champions League and non-Sheik owned)  can prepare for. It's the meat around the bones that needs beefing up. And it's guaranteed that anybody who is deemed malignant will be removed with swift and necessary surgery.

The money will be there to spend once we streamline the squad, we just don't need to be mentalists about it. A defensive midfielder is needed (Sandro the obvious target). A centre-back (long-term solution to the Ledley King conundrum) should also be discussed in-house. Unless you think a back four of BAE - Bassong - Dawson - Corluka will work without a commanding, leading presence to guide them (Daws is 26 years old, but lacks sustained experience). Perhaps a goalkeeper too. For cover, nothing more. Other solutions will involve development rather than throwing money at it to make it work (i.e. Bale - is he a left-back or a left-midfielder and can he cover BAE's absence when he leaves for the African Nations Cup?).

The backbone of the side will suffer no major trauma (which means key players - yes, Robbie Keane is a key player) will stay put. So it's not exactly breaking news that selling to buy is going to be the tactic here. And that there is no need for massive massive signings.

If you think back to 2006, what we failed to do is bulk up in Jan (didn’t we sign Ghaly?) and had we, we might well have wrapped up 4th spot long before the saboteur broke into the hotel and coughed germs all over the players soon to be eaten dinner. Levy knows already (thanks to Harry's complaints a while back about the lack of midfield depth) that we need consolidation in that area. Ignoring Robbie Keane's shout-out about how strong our bench is, we all know the reality is rather different. We don’t have enough in reserve.

Expect a post-Christmas cracker. We'll sign what we need, nothing more, nothing less and then it's all down to the manager and the players to believe and work hard. Qualities that might prove to be priceless in the long run.

Levy takes a pay-cut

Anyone read the Annual financial report Spurs released the other week (it's on the official site)? Go on, one of you must have printed it out and sat yourselves on the bog, reading glasses perched on nose and read through countless pages of number-crunching. No? You prefer the more rounded figures of Front magazine like me? Good on you. Thankfully there are people out there who don't bother with glossy soft-porn publications and prefer to study and then dig out the type of information that makes us lazy ones ooh when we hear it.

Our turnover made all the headlines along with confirmation of our spending, but we missed the bit about pay-cuts (at least I did) taken by Levy and the directors. A 32.5% cut. Millionaires with less millions and no big shout out about it. No shareholder dividend pay-out either this year. It's all on page 34 of the report (if your copy of Front is in too much of an abused state to turn the pages).

From £1M per year down to £650,000 in the space of three years.

The club make profit and our man at the helm takes a cut. How refreshing. Taking one for the team. Not that taking home 650K isn't too shabby wage. It would seem there's no room for ego's here. Greater good and all that jazz, ENIC are firmly putting their money where their mouth is - although the less bites taken into rotten apples (Bentley, Bent, Pav) the more of that turn-over we're left with. Hard times, bit future plans - the priority is the club and therefore the fans.

If Levy needs to make up some extra cash for Christmas shopping, I suggest he loads up a white van with the left over copies of The Opus (that's the ones left over from the batch used during the half-time raffle ticket give-aways from last season) and hits the high road on match-days. Get Harry in the back and he'll have the lot cleared out by 3pm kick-off.

"Opus, mint condition, £500. And this one, signed by Robbie Keane, you can have that one for £250"

Money, money, money...

Financial results are out. And by the looks of it the caviar and champagne will continue to be digested by our commander and chief while the people of the land happily feast on the footballing steak dished out by head chef Harry. Well done.

The figures?

• Revenue remains high at £113.0M
• Player trading profit of £56.5M
• £119.3M spent on player acquisitions in financial year
• Group net assets increased to £62.1M from £42.6M at prior year end
• Planning application submitted for the Northumberland Development Project, our new stadium and related scheme
• £61.0M committed on property transactions in and around current stadium over the past six years
• Works started on new Training Centre for the First Team and Academy at Bulls Cross in Enfield

Pdf here: http://www.tottenhamhotspur.com/uploads/assets/docstore/financial_results_nov09.pdf

We are also the second highest spenders (cue more 'spend money, never win anything' taunts) but at least we are turning profit, even if it's not as hefty as suggested about. I doubt we have much in the way to spend come Jan and will need to rely on selling-off unwanted assets (Pav, Bentley…) to raise the cash for a DM (Sandro) and a brand spanking new centre-back (£10M on Upson? No thanks).

I'm not going to pretend to understand the accountancy involved. It's way above my head (number-crunching was never my strong point) but plagiarising some of the more savvy members of GG, it appears that the profit cited above (that's the money made from the club selling players) is not as clear cut as you would assume simply by accepting that the £56.5M is straight-forward cash in the bank monies.

The profit - depending on the length of the contract tied to the amortisation costs - is largely accounting profit which means it attracts taxation. By selling our best players (Berbatov, Keane - stop laughing) the taxation bill simply bloats out further (this year reaching £10.2M). The taxman is the only winner here.

We seemed to have profited only because the players sold (most of them) wanted out - rather than us looking to remain in the black by selling our best assets. Also, to further prove the complexities of the financial side of football transfers, if you took the figures released by Spurs and attempted to work out what we paid for players signed and what we got for players sold you'd probably find they don't quite add up. In other words, don't take what you read in the press for granted. Sometimes the total fee is reported. Sometimes the realised profit is reported. I'll quote the following example to further explain this (and confuse):

If Darren Bent was bought for £16 million on a 4 year contract - the club would amortise his contract at a rate of £4 million per year.  Bent moved to Sunderland after being at Spurs for two years 2 years.  If he was sold for £16 million then this would represent a profit of £8 million on his current asset value.

Where it gets further muddy for me is the fact that most modern day transfers are deals paid over instalments, which will no doubt journey through one tax year into the next which means this can also account for discrepancies between the reported official figures and the account work.

If any readers know your stuff where this is concerned, I'd appreciate a break-down of the figures for us simpletons.

More dizzying figures? We made an operating profit (before football trading) of £24.1M. This taking into account the various payments/settlements to the likes of Ramos/Poyet and the money forked out to Pompey.

Conclusion?

We are healthy. But in no way a threat to the likes of Chelsea or City cometh the next transfer window.

We are not a selling club - a suggestion often mouthed off. We sell if the player strops and wants to leave. That's a bit different to buying players to sell on for profit (although once upon a time, Levy believed in a 'buy young, buy British' policy). We make money as a 'business' before any player outgoings are taken into account. If loyalty existed and the lure of building a side was more attractive than jumping ship to an alread-made CL club, then we would probably only sell players we did not consider good enough. Fantasy football.

We are (apparently) the richest club never to have played in the Champions League (if we gatecrashed it, we'd be positively choking on sterling). You get nothing for a profit margin. Not in this game.

We are profitable club, financial year in, financial year out.

All this with a 36,000 capacity ground. Although I expect we might be negative come next report thanks to the money spent on the new players. Time to cash in on England stars, JJ and Hudd?

Roll on White Hart Lane II. In the mean time, the only real profit we want to see is the kind that swaggers around on the pitch, achieving things that the fans find tangible and relevant (although one aids the other more than we can to mention).

Also, new sponsors for next season. Let's hope the colour red does not figure once again. Although don't be surprised to hear that old chestnut about how the colour red is part of our tradition because on a past club badge there was a red...

(thanks to the geeks over at GG for their math skills)

New Spurs stadium = Majestic

Credit to the chairman. Majestic, no? It's got an understated swagger to it. Modern yet still manages to retain a traditional boxed in look, aided no doubt by the fact the stands are closer to the pitch (in comparison to other newly built stadia).

Levy. I could almost kiss you, you wonderful bald munchkin you. This is testament to managing a redevelopment project by listening to the fans. Great work from everyone involved. I'm all giddy over here.

Reduced capacity because of the amendments made to the design? Just about 'ok' with me. 70,000 registered members. 23,000 waiting for the chance to apply for a season ticket. Perhaps we could have done with a few less exec boxes at both sides of the 'Kop' end. The more fans, the bigger the atmosphere and the bonus gloating rights to be able to sing about how our one is bigger than yours. But let's face it, we will sell out most games anyway. And better a packed ground than one with 5,000 or so empty blue seats. Last thing we want is radio adverts begging day-trippers to buy up tickets.

Corporate boxes are a modern day requirement (from a financial stand point I guess) and their 'section' looks quite inoffensive. Probably would have made it far nearer the 60k mark if we had less of them. Posh Tarquins tucking into their glazed ribs and chilled champagne in the luxury of their boxes is fine, thanks to the fact that the rest of the ground will be vibrant with us commoners. Considering the noise we make (ear bleeding levels innit?) at White Hart Lane, we'd probably tear a hole in the space time continuum when 50,000 Lilywhites slow sing Oh When the Spurs go marching in...

As for the above artists impression, loving that 63 row single tier stand. I can see myself standing bang in the middle of that beauty. Hopefully the Park Lane lot get shifted into that stand when the move eventually happens. Although it's more likely that we'll be in the opposite stand near the away fan section. If that's the case then fingers crossed the single tier end is more than just a family stand (aka Paxton II).

Also. Please get rid of that clock.

More details and pictures can be found on the Tottenham site.

Now all we need is a decent sponsor for the 'name' of the new stadium. Shame really that there are no loyal traditionalist millionaire Spurs fan(s) who can simply pay the club to name the ground something apt like...

The Bill Nicholson.

...and avoid the necessity to have a brand name plastered all over it. But then again that's just a fanciful daydream on my part. Still, here's hoping we get a statue of the great man. Would look great at the front of the new stadium.

Yes. I want the moon on a stick too.

Time to cash in on Pav?

Been off-line for a few days, and come back to find a lovely gem of a news item concerning our forgotten Russian striker, Roman Pavlyuchenko. Apparently Zenit are interested.

"He does not intend to sit on the bench. We are aware of Zenit's interest. They wanted to sign Roman in the summer and I think we'll start negotiations again." - so says his esteemed agent Oleg Artemov.

If it's not meant to be it's not meant to be. He's struggled with an injury or two this season and has generally been a non-entity in our progress, other than a cameo in the Carling Cup. He looked bright and alive in pre-season and I for one was more than curious to see if this much maligned non-English speaking international was not yet another over-rated big money signing.

We remember last year well. He looked out of sorts. Whether it was the general struggle of learning the language (can anyone confirm if he can?) or looking confused when confronted by a Spurs fan in the Waltham Abbey Tescos partnered by his interpretor - Pav looked equally lost on the field too.

A bit clumsy, poor first touch, slow and very Zamoraish with his shooting. Other occasions he displayed a touch of class.

"He's just a bit tired, innit. Long Russian season, European Championships, then a move to Blightly"...was a common excuse by those who awaited the real deal to show us £14M worth of class.

We are still no closer to knowing.

And with JD, Crouchie and the undroppable Keano he stands little chance at the minute of making some kind of breakthrough into the first team.

Nailed on departure, no?

And having Zenit sniffing around is tinged with some of that ever so lickable irony dust. Oh yes. The same Zenit who moved the goal-posts around a dozen times during the Arshavin negotiations. How much did they want from us at the time? £18M? £20M? It was something ridiculous. Every time we seemed to agree a fee, they wanted a bit more. At the time our chairman got some stick from some quarters (cough) for not meeting their estmiation.

"Pay it. He's proper class"

Yes, he is a class player. Someone that would have fit in perfectly at Spurs. Imagine him linking up with Modric and...oh, whatever. It never happened, and to be fair AA is a bit of a git, as you might recall, he's 'dream move' seemed to change every other week. And he's already complaining about the 50% tax deductions that are not too far off for our footballing millionaires. But considering we paid £14M for Pav and £16M for Bentley...it makes you wonder. However, principles are principles, which is why Levy didn't buckle. Sickening he was sold for a measly £12M in the end.

So, back to that irony dust.

Zenit, if they do knock on our door, should be taken to the cleaners. IMO.

They want Pav?

Ok.

£18M. Not a penny less. Ta.

The Saviour of Spurs

Dear Mr Levy,

You complete me.

For years you have been the Lex Luther to my Superman, leaving a trail of Kryptonite that has had detrimental damage. The Bane to my Batman, lifting me up in humiliation and breaking my resolve without a flinch. The Mike Ashley to my Newcastle, defecating in my bowl of corn flakes, day in and day out. You and your dark shadow that has blackened the Park Lane into unnerving darkness with no presence of even the faintest light. Until…until you had your epiphany. The moment, the one truly pure defining moment of your villainous Sarumanesque reign over my beloved club. The moment birthed from the depths of darkness where a blinding ray of sunshine cut up the night sky to shreds and turned it into a supernova of raining rainbows. You, the one responsible for the dread and the disillusion, changed the course of time its self.

One single decision that has enlightened and blessed us all.

You rid the club of the Director of Football structure, and as a consequence returned to simple fundamental basics. And saved us. Even though you left behind you a tapestry of mistakes that you were accountable for. They can now be brushed aside and forgotton about.

Daniel, I'm no longer in Kansas. And in front of me is a white and blue brick road leading us to the return of Technicolor glory.

I have preached outside White Hart Lane many times, disguised as a fundamentalist Christian armed with a megaphone telling passing supporters wandering down towards the South Stand that Jesus Christ loves them and forgives them. All ignoring my drooling monotonous ranting, laughing and taking the piss as they walked past. But I was influencing them and their thoughts, and they didn't even know it. Not willingly that is. Subliminal messages work in a mysterious way. The megaphone transmitted low frequency directives to anyone within 50 metres, penetrating their subconscious mind.

"Don't buy the Opus"
"Don't sit down, stand up"
"If we lose, it's the chairman's fault"
"Smoke in the cubicles"

Guerilla warfare against the oppressive dictatorship you stood for was a difficult and draining 24/7 campaign. I know people expect me to stand outside the West Stand main entrance and relentlessly chuck water balloons loaded with the contents of Pot Noodles at your passing car. Or shooting frozen shit pellets (do you have any idea how long it takes for me to make these? The diet I have to retain and the cost of refrigeration?) at board members when they're out dining with their wives. Handcuffing myself naked to the turnstiles and boycotting the Spurs Shop have served me well over the years and the country too, thanks to the generous amount of community service that her majesty has bestowed on me. Incidentally, that evening I was walking my cat (she was very domesticated) and it just so happened to jump over your gates and into your garden hence why your wife found me going through your bin bags. Cats do like rummaging for scraps. Anyway, the resulting restraining order was a little harsh, it has to be said. I'm considering legal aid, because I've not seen my cat since that day and your guard dog is looking suspiciously tubby. At least I was considering legal aid. It's all behind me now. The leaflets, the online propaganda. The effigies. All of it. It's in the past. I've forgiven.

Tottenham under Ramos

No more burning my season ticket in full view of the directors box. No more calls for others to do the same. Embrace your season ticket. Kiss it gently. Touch it in it's private area. Make sweet love to it. Whisper your unconditional loyalty, while you cheekily slap its sweet firm arse.

I am proud. Proud of the team and proud of your newly refined clarity. Many people go through life without a life-changing Darth Vader moment. You did. You have come full cycle, restoring balance. You are positively drenched in midi-chlorians, bringing with you a new hope.

And Jar-Jar Binks is nowhere to be seen.

When Comolli was axed, you were able to see the necessity for complications was redundant. No need for a continental structure when the most successful of clubs in England have done just fine without one. A traditional managerial appointment was needed. A man for the hour, a man for the immediate future. No 5 year plan. No lofty delusional assessments of our progress. Season upon season of transitional nonsense had rendered us null and void. A fragmented mess, disjointed. Beauty spots on a blemished face. Great to look at from afar, ugly up close. We had become the Paris Hilton of football clubs, believing our own hype thinking we are great and important. When in reality we had a stupid face and disgusting feet.

You did a brave thing. You made a ballsy decision. With the Spaniard sent home and the fans nervous about two measly points from eight games, the very foundations of the club began to shake. You remember that evening? I remember it well. I stood outside White Hart Lane, holding up a 'LEVY OUT 3:16' sign along with my 'THERE USE TO BE A FOOTBALL CLUB HERE' banner which I last held aloft just after the George Graham appointment. I stood there, tearful, waiting. And that's when I heard the news. Harry Redknapp. The new manager of Tottenham Hotspur.

A new dawn was upon us. I went home. Content. Happy.

The great managerial escapologist. Harry Houdini. Back to basics. English. And loyal to the club he's just joined until he's loyalty shifts across to his new club. And his new club was us. It was time for Tottenham to fight it's way out of the depths of the mire it had found its self in. And Harry was the man to lead us upwards. No more DoF interference. No more politics. No more misguided dreams. Get out of the bottom three and never look back.

Harry Redknapp's Tottenham

You read our predicament for what it was. A unmitigated disaster. Granted one of your own creation, and another Ramosesque appointment was an impossibility. Redknapp, man-manger extraordinaire, speaker of the English language, man of the media - the sound-bite king. This wasn't just about repairing the damage to the squad, the players confidence and the clubs non-existent stature. This was, in the most simplistic way, a relaying of our foundations, plastering over the cracks. The media love a bit of 'arry. The cynical might argue that this was a strategic stroke of genius, getting in a man who doesn't need to wait for a journalist to come knocking on his door. He calls them up. PR heaven. On and off the pitch. But who cares if the attention is deflected away from the chairman and onto the manager. Isn't that the whole point? You took responsibility for your actions rather than stand sheepishly behind a Frenchman.

Superfluous signings? Forget about it. Harry saw what was missing, what was needed and did the simple thing: Sign players that would improve the teams effectiveness. And you supported him. It would take 1000 Zokora's to match the presence of one single strand of hair from the head of Wilson Palacios. JD's return is proving to be inspired. Keane returned home from his sabbatical and claimed the captaincy. And in Chimbonda we made sure we covered our defensive line. In case anyone got injured. Or if we needed to cover anyone who required a rest. Not that we did. We did, but not that we had to call for Chimbonda's assistance. But it's not the winning that matters, it's the taking part. Which technically Pascal didn't do, well neither, but he was there. With us. In spirit. And that was the effect Harry had. He got the players working for each other and for the club and restored the pride that had deserted us.

And then the moneyshot, the reason why your decision to bring in Harry will go down in history as one of the great master-strokes of chairmanship. Escaping the clutches of relegation and coming within a whisker of European qualification, along with another cup final appearance was simply inspirational. It justified everything and made a mockery of the director of football mantra.

And this season, it's more of the same. Upbeat, positive and belief from the players and the fans in the stands. Good solid signings. Nine points, three games. Top of the Premier league. Free-scoring. Swaggering. Swashbuckling. Sexy. Harry has given us our Tottenham back. WHL is a fortress and away games are a blast. We all know of course that this - the present - is all Harry's doing with regards to results. So the real test is yet to come. The one concerning how we react to any minor (or major) blip in form - with nobody to blame as the responsibility will belong solely to him. The one about mental strength and staying power. And Harry is here to restore respectability and make sure the foundations hold strong. So that the next appointment is not a transition but a continuation.

You have learnt a valuable lesson in football. You need to walk the walk rather than just talk the talk. Appointing Ramos on the advisement of Comolli and Kemsley to take us to the next level displayed a lack of realism and a dollop of over-confidence about where we stood in the food chain of football.

We are now a team. A unit. A dolphin not a haddock. A badger not a skunk.

And it's because of you Daniel.

I can forgive your good self and Paul Barber for the travesty of the yellow-streaked home shirt. I can forgive you for the continued employment of that arrogant sonofabitch Chirpy and his sexual harassing of supporters (he touched my back once and just starred back at me, smiling. I felt violated). I can even forgive you for the commissioning of the endless supply of club DVD's chronicling score-draws.

You are forgiven. Unequivocally.

I want us to hold hands (metaphorically, as the restraining order still has me at 100 metres distance) and march together, forward.

The future is bright. The Future is lilywhite.

I have sent you a hamper of bagels and a lovely bottle of white wine (never red, right?)

I love you man.


Yours forever,

Spooky

Levy holds out for the pot at the end of the rainbow

From the Tottenham website:

LATEST NEWS

Bent transfer - Stock Exchange Announcement

The following statement has been released to the Stock Exchange:

5 August 2009
Tottenham Hotspur plc

Player Transfer

Tottenham Hotspur plc announces that agreement has been reached for the transfer of the player registration of Darren Bent to Sunderland AFC for a total consideration of up to £16.5 million.

Daniel Levy, this time there will be no melted bagels thrown at your car windows. Neither will there be effigies burning outside on your front lawn at 3am in the morning with your guard dog peacefully asleep by my feet with a tranquiliser dart in its arse. No sir. For this one-off occasion, I am placing aside all the politics we disagree on and would simply like to say...well done for holding out and getting what you wanted rather than giving them something they want for far less. I guess Sunderland’s demands for £20M for Kenwyne Jones has come back to playfully slap them in the face. Not a penny less is quite obviously a winning strategy.

They got their man. We get our money back. Well sort of. Close enough anyway. Have to laugh how Sky Sports News are reporting it as £10M (is this what Sunderland are telling the world?) Since when do those extra clauses (consisting of further payments based on performance and appearances) get left out of the transfer fee when made public? If Bent manages to trigger those clauses, it's more money our way.

I didn’t expect us to get £10M+ to be perfectly honest. He's not worth that much.

And here’s the magic.

We don’t tend to ever look this deep into a transfer; we simply take what a player is sold or bought for. Thanks to Intrepid over at GG for the explanation, something unlikely to be discussed or understood out in the stands:

The Charlton deal was a total of £16.5 million with £1 million as add-ons. The profit of £5.5 million will be shown in the audited accounts if we receive the full consideration of £16.5 million from Sunderland as Bent’s value to the club’s accounts was £11 million when we sold him - £16.5 million divided by 6 (length of contract) multiplied by years he spent with us (2) - that figure taken from original total fee of £16.5 million.

This deal highlights again how football player trading is a complete nonsense – we have paid Charlton £16.5 million and if Sunderland pay us £16.5 million then in monetary terms (actual money in the bank)we have broken even but in accounting terms we have made a “profit” of £5.5 million. That “profit” attracts taxation so we get taxed on money we have not really received.

In accounting terms every asset has to have a value to be accounted for – player’s values are accounted for by amortising their costs to the club (transfer fees and/or signing on fees) over the length of their original contract.

e.g. Bent signed a 6 year contract for a total consideration of £16.5 million (£15.5 million plus £1 million add-ons) – the way the accounts work is that when hejoined he was worth £16.5 million and for each year he is with us his value drops by £2.75 million p.a. - £16.5 million divided by 6 (the number of years of his contract). He has been with us for 2 years so his “value” to the accounts is £16.5 million minus £5.5 million (2 years @ £2.75 million) therefore as of today his “value” to the club was £11 million and anything we get from a transfer fee over and above £11 million is accounted for as a profit.

However, the above numbers may need a little adjusting because according to Charlton’s AGM, due to their financial struggles, an agreement was made for the money to be paid up earlier and Spurs got a discount (so to speak) for agreeing to do so. Meaning the final fee that was paid to them was in the region of £12.5M.

Daniel, my knickers are in the post.

XxX

P.S. Daniel, if Bent scores 25 goals and they pip us to Europe by a point and we lose out on millions as a consequence then you will be held unequivocally accountable.

Bent is soz for his tweets

Everybody has covered the Darren Bent statement that’s been published on the official Spurs website confirming it was his account...and his mistake. Now if you’ve been following Darren’s Tweets, the first thing that will be obvious is that it’s highly unlikely he wrote the apology all by himself, if at all. We all know it’s always a representative of the club or the agent that does the written work. Obviously, because it’s all a PR exercise in making sure the club come out of it as the victim and the player the naive impatient fool. Which is exactly what’s happened. And it was always going to happen. You can’t slate the chairman in the papers, so slating him online via a social networking tool is equally a no-no. Still, I can’t help but smile at the apology.

This is it:

I appreciate that transfers are seldom straightforward and are often complex. However, after a long period of waiting following my withdrawal from the plane to China, I had become incredibly frustrated by the time these things take and I posted inappropriate comments on my Twitter site.

I allowed my emotions to get in the way of my better judgement. I regret my actions and did not intend to offend Daniel Levy or anyone with the nature or the content of my posting.

If Darren’s Twitter account was still active he could have micro-blogged his regret using a string of 140 maximum character sentences. But then if it was completely up to him he wouldn’t be issuing an apology full stop.

Let’s put it into perspective. He’s (for the sake of argument) on 50K per week. I wouldn’t mind the waiting around a little bit longer knowing that my employer over-spent to sign me and don’t want to (as best as possible) be short-changed when selling me inorder to make up for the mistake in the first place. Telling the world that you're upset by posting in the public domain that is the internet is a no-go. Unless you wanted people outside of your private Twitter account (which anyone could access because you accepted anyone who requested access). Or you simply didn't think. Which is a common trait, let's be honest, with most professional footballers.

Hang tough. You're leaving. It’s a given. It’s Spurs, you should know it’s never quick and easy.

It's a massive massive shame that Daniel Levy doesn’t have his own Twitter account, as I’m certain this would have been handled and sorted without all the unnecessary press coverage.

Darren Bent

If you become the first footballer to be fined over your tweets, you'll go up in my estimation big time.

Good luck at Sunderland lad. Sorry we couldn't accommodate you at the Lane. Never meant for each other. Never meant to be.