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Entries in Daniel Levy (140)

Sunday
Oct242010

Is Comolli God?

Sorry, that's meant to be good. Typo in the title. Was he any good for us during his tenure at the Lane?

This discussion has been had more times than a cheap yet tasty East European whore at the local sauna. Not that all girls working in a sauna (brothel) happen to be from Eastern Europe, but if someone was to frequent such a place, I'd hazard a guess they'd select a Russian or Polish lady of the red light than any of the oh so bland alternatives. They tend to have fabulous looking legs. Allegedly. It's what I've been told. Best to move on before this turns into a punter report and goes widely off-topic.

My point is, we've discussed this thousands of times - mostly during and in the lead up to the beginning of the end of Comolli at Spurs, and then in the aftermath of his departure. And once again the last time he was interviewed and mentioned his transfer record at the Lane. And we've been blessed with yet another rendition of the 'I'm so f**king great' chorus from the Frenchman, this time thanks to the Bale hat-trick at some small ground over in Italy.

I guess every single time one of his signings performs majestically well we're going to be treated to various sound-bites from his delirious gob. He's quite obviously never going to tire telling us he's responsible for our good form and fortune. I'd suggest we put aside a plot of land to erect a statue in his name when the Northumberland redevelopment kick-starts but it's probably only right we just skip that and name the stadium after him.

So let's break this sh*t down. Does our former DoF own the exclusive rights to bang on about this to us and should we give him his due?

Much like most managers/coaches - Comolli made some very decent signings and several shabby ones. There is a clear argument to be had for and against in terms of the decent signings made and their already known talent (as opposed to perhaps plucking someone from obscurity). But still, he captured the signatures of the likes of Berbatov and Modric and of course Gareth Bale - their abilities known to many, if not all. Personally, wasn't sure of any of the three. Especially Modric who I had not really seen or heard much about at the time.

He also signed the likes of Zokora, Bent, Bentley, KPB, Taarabt, Bostock and dos Santos. Players that have either struggled, have yet to prove themselves or not turned out to be half as good as expected.

It's all subjective. Everyone knew Bent and Bentley. Comolli signed them. Zokora, I'll give him that one - but Christ, it's nothing to shout about. Taarabt had/has a massive ego. dos Santos hasn't been given a run of games in the side. Jury out. As for Bostock - we'll have to wait and see. But Bostock could have been scouted by myself or you - it's no claim to fame as he was making a decent name for himself down at Palace.

Not sure Lennon and Huddlestone can be claimed. I'm positive they were targeted before his appointment. The rest - some were squad players that worked (Rocha) some didn't (Rasiak).

Kaboul is a perfect example of Comolli at his frustrating best. Rather than sign the finished article or a proven at top level player, he signed a highly rated youngster for a substantial amount of money where it was claimed he would not be thrown into the deep end and thus be developed. Question marks over the fact we paid the amount we did for someone who wasn't deemed a first-teamer. Classic Spurs, we throw him into the deep end thanks to injuries. Ironically, the lad (having been sold and re-bought) is showing signs of football intelligence and composure. Finally. But the journey he's under-taken has been nigh shambolic.

It's not exactly razor sharp stuff, is it?

But none of this is relevant.

Okay, it is actually if you want to strip away everything about the Director of Football system and discuss the individualism of each signing based on merit of the players form at the club. But without doing so, and looking at it as a complete entity of enterprise from top to bottom - Comolli followed Levy's lead (buy young English players with sell-on value) and also bought in foreign players to improve the first team. But the transfer ethos was never really decisive enough for me.

Mainly because we signed individuals (some of which have been a success as mentioned) but because of the lack of any clear true genuine balls deep strategy in terms of types of players required - it was all very mish mashed.

Our stance had at times been a mixture of the superfluous and the potentials. Unbalanced. And it's all good and well saying 'I signed BAE - look at him now', but if you're a DoF signing players for the current appointed manager, that player is meant to work for that manager. But then I guess Comolli will argue he signed the right players, but the manager didn't use them correctly - which again would bring you back to the whole what's the point then argument surrounding the DoF system.

It's all a bit like having two people trying to use any old jigsaw pieces to complete a puzzle, even though they're using pieces from different sets without discussing it first. The DoF felt like that, most of the time.

Again - you can look back at all our managers in the modern era and possibly argue at the amount of money wasted and lack of clear direction we've had during many transfer windows.

Comolli is managing to cloud over the fact that he might have had an eye but in terms of working as a support mechanism for  the manager? Nope. Just not good enough. You can't undermine the person you are meant to be supporting (Jol). Or make fundamental mistakes (the 2006 Xmas window).

Levy admitting the mistake, in the end, after the Ramos debacle that the DoF system had to be scrapped. When Comolli got to choose a new man for our dugout, he got it completely wrong with the Juande.

In conclusion, he signed some very good players. Some of which we are enjoying massively in our colours currently. And I guess we should politely nod in his direction for this. But considering the task at hand at the time, he failed to sign players for key positions when required, sometimes signing players completely out of synch with the squad and manipulated and altered the clubs direction to appoint his own man - which proved to be an unmitigated disaster in the end.

Director of football? More of a glorified scout who interfered a little too much, sometimes got it wrong, sometimes got it right but only on a few occasions got it bang on the money.

Fact is, the likes of Bale, BAE...the team as a unit, only came together AFTER he left the club. That should take precedence over his tiresome attention seeking quotes. Even though I'm sure DC will say, that's not the point - he saw the potential and that is enough for him to continue to pull a David Pleat and tell the world of his achievements in N17.

 

 

Spurs/Everton match report, it's been drafted but need to touch it up (ooh) and will post on Monday.

 

Saturday
Oct092010

FAO Sullivan, Gold and Brady

#4

Welcome to my fourth entry in my International Break diary journals. This one is a video-entry and a message to Sullivan, Gold and Brady.

Enjoy.

 

You've been watching the fourth part of Spooky's International Break diary journals.

Part one can be read here.

Part two here.

Part three here.

 

Tuesday
Sep142010

Believe

Interesting article over at the Guardian that's worth a couple of minutes of your time regarding Daniel Levy and the Champions League. Click here to read it and then browse your way back to this blog.

Okay, so on the one hand you can say well done Levy for being pragmatic. There will never be any potential for us to do a Leeds United. We need to be less speculative based on the ground redevelopment (no more £15M Bentleys parked up in the garage), but still improve our squad depth with each passing season.

On the other hand, you wonder whether bigger risks should be taken/should have been taken. Because sometimes they just work (Cantona anyone?). But then this is an ambiguous and multi-layered discussion. What is classed as a risk - calculated or otherwise? I'd say appointing Harry - and look at how that worked out for us. van der Vaart? Risk? I'd say so. But one that you wouldn't shrug at because of his quality.

In relative terms to immediate ambitions, yes it would have been grand for us to sign a world class striker in the last transfer window, but if the players are neither available or affordable - there is no a lot we can do. Harry did try for Bellamy (love him or hate him). It's not like we blanked out the area that is so desperate for that next level addition. Cautious is the word of the moment.

I do however find what he's (Levy) saying tinged with apologetic undertones. Now don't get on my case, I'm not being critical. He's the chairman, thinks of the football, but runs the club like a well oiled business machine. I've said it already. He's being pragmatic. Look over the road to the swamp, with their controlled debt, and note how they are managing the fact they don't have a lot of disposal cash available to them (although Wenger hardly ever spends on the same level as many other clubs). The point is, they have one eye on the present and the other on the future, and are not looking to sacrifice either (Wenger's are permanently shut, but that's neither here or there).

It's a balancing act. It's what we need to do - it's what Levy is doing. But because we sit looking upwards, there is just as much pressure for a team wanting to get there as there is for a team that's already there holding on for dear life. It might not work out for them. Mainly because of clubs like ourselves and City and others who have something tangible to aim for which is not beyond the realms of impossibility. But it's up to us to make that effort.

I do get it, finishing top 4 is no easy task and there is no shame with losing out and we might find that the next 2-4 years consists of some clubs (hopefully us) sharing CL football. As long as we are competitive and go into the season challenging and looking to improve and keep up and obviously over-take (that has to be the next step once we find the right level of upper tier consistency).

Then again...

The EPL might never have another monopoly. The new order might be 6-8 clubs going for 4 positions, year in year out. It would make it a far more even playing field. But this is just theory. No one can be certain of progression or implosion. It's also a risk in itself to just be content with steady progress, without that special in-house ethic of giving it something extra and unexpected. Because if you don't, you'll never know.

We can just accept the EPL is going to yo-yo for the foreseeable future, or we can give ourselves lofty ambitions, dream, and then make those dreams a reality. Again.

Champions League is not the be all or end all. For a start, it's not the bread and butter. But the more you get of it, the more likely you get to consolidate your position up there in the domestic heavens. Which means you can start dreaming of that one thing that is currently beyond the reach of almost all but two.

The crux of it is simple. If you strip all this away, you, me, us, expectancy, past, present, future, the dynamics of football, hierarchy, money...we should be left with this and only this:

 

"It is better to fail aiming high than to succeed aiming low. And we of Spurs have set our sights very high, so high in fact that even failure will have in it an echo of glory."

- Bill Nicholson

 

There is no point sitting in the corner, legs pulled up to stomach, rocking backwards and forwards staring into space, scared and worried about the what ifs. What if we lose? What if we get thrashed? What if we're not good enough? Dry them.

Stand up, stand tall, sing your heart out till your gums bleed and then sing some more.

It's only a group game, right? It's not a Cup final, yeah? Let's not giddy, k? Keep those feet firmly on the ground. Yeah, well, no. Hearts on our sleeves. It's the only way.

Players, fans, everyone associated with the club from newborn babies dressed up in colours who don't yet have a clue about the emotional upheaval their fathers suffer to the OAP's who remember push and run and the original glory nights...embrace history, embrace expectancy. Give it a warm hug, say your hellos...then clothesline the sonofab*tch.

To dare is to f***ing do. Let's get this show on the road.

Believe. COYS.

 

Monday
Jul262010

Ground redevelopment twist: The Calling of the Bluff

Just seen this on the BBC. Apparently Spurs are in informal talks about the possibility of making a bid for the 2012 Olympic Stadium.

Hmm.

Hands up if you think Levy is doing this to force the hand of Haringey, who continue to drag their feet with our ground redevelopment plans? Sure, there are financial positives (i.e. less money to spend) if we took the 2012 option. But considering the effort and design of our original proposal to remain where we are - it's time for the local authorities in swanky N17 to get their fingers our of their collective arses and stop with the hurdle placements (which we seem to be jumping over every time regardless).

The recent police and heritage issues reported in one paper appeared to be a little mis-informed (the suggestion was that the new ground would not pass safety regulations and gain it's security certificate). The reality is - everyone involved is hopeful. Every supposed issue can be worked around. And do Haringey really want the best thing about visiting Tottenham gone forever? They'll end up with that lush kebab house on the high street just past the Paxton on the opposite side of the road, where they wrap up the meat. Awesome. But not worth visiting if there's no football to watch straight after.

So I applaud Levy's game of silly buggers. Get stuck in guv.

Tuesday
Jul132010

It's happening again

Take Eminem's classic track Stan, add the vital ingredient of an obsessive fan but replace Eminem with the current chairman of THFC and you get this. That was back in 2009. So thanks to the slow news* days as we await for Joe Cole to make his mind up and lack of any other tangible 'in the know' activity, here's an updated remix for 2010.

*Congrats to Harry and his new contract 

  

Spooked - original song lyrics by Eminem, re-imagined for DML.com.

 

Chorus: (Harry Redknapp)

Hansen scoffs on Match of the Day
Spurs will always let you down
Champions League outside my window
And all I see is fourth place
And Crouchie nods home the winner
Ledleys only got one knee,
It reminds me, that Spurs are great,
I'm so great...


[Spooky]

Dear Mr Levy, I wrote but you still ain't callin
I left my mobile, my email, and my twitter at the bottom
I sent two letters back in May, along with an Enneagram you must not have got 'em
There probably was a problem with security or the postmen

Sometimes they just throw out my parcels when I drop them
But anyways; fuck it, what's happening dude? How's the naming rights going?
I can't wait for the new stadium and the new home shirt ain't blowing
So what you up to at the minute? Should we expect to re-sign Kevin Prince Boateng?

I'm not joking, if we re-sign him I think I might cry and consider drowning
Better yet I'll stick my head in the oven, has Bentley stopped his clowning?
Can we not try and sign someone decent instead?
Diego Forlan would be better than having myself ending up dead

I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I still hide out in your garden in the shrubbery and watch you tan
I got a room full of your photos and hate Matthew Norman the schnook
I like the old work you did with Comolli too, that shit was off the hook

Anyways, I hope you get this, and mail me back,
Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan, you on Facebook?
This is Spooky, let's talky


Chorus: (Harry Redknapp)


[Spooky]

Dear Mr Levy, you still ain't called or wrote, does your PA never take a fucking note?
I ain't mad - I just think it's FUCKED UP you don't answer your phone
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside the Lane,
you didn't have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for Theo
That's my little voodoo doll man

I'm always sticking needles in his vains,
We waited at the West Stand entrance for you in the pouring rain,
Four hours then you and Ekotto just ignored us leaving us in pain
That's pretty shitty man - just like The Opus
How can the average fan even afford one, I swear sometimes you're so pompus

I ain't 'In The Know' though, I just don't like being lied to
Remember when we met at the AGM - you said if I'd write you
you would write back - see I'm just like you in a way
I would have sacked Juande Ramos too, he was like Bill Murray;
He hardly spoke a native word and best got rid of in a hurry

I can relate to what you're saying in your match-day notes
So when I have a shitty day, I drift away and read them to myself
Cause I don't really have much else other than a blog and ketamine to help me when I'm depressed
I even got a tattoo of ENIC PLC across my chest
Sometimes I even shave my head to see how good it looks
It's like adrenaline, the bald shine is such a sudden rush for me

See everything you say is real in those official statements and I respect you cause you tell it
Other bloggers are just jealous cause I talk about you 24/7
But they don't know you like I know you Dan, no one does
That Ben bloke who climbs the tree at the Lodge has lost his buzz

You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Spooky -- P.S.
We should share a bagel soon


Chorus: (Harry Redknapp)


[Spooky]

Dear Mister You're-Gonna-Get-My-Burning-Season-Ticket-Thrown-At-Your-Door
this'll be the last fucking effigy I ever send you, 1pm Cornerpin, will end you
It's been Christ knows how long and still no word - I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters;
I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect…

So this is my iphone 4 recording I'm sending you, I hope you see and hear it
I'd have rang you using voice-call but I lose reception when I use it
I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 61 on the High Street
Hey Daniel, I drank ten cans of Holsten, you dare me to do?

You know the song by Hoddle and Waddle, "Diamond Lights"?
About the guy standing alone in the rain regretful
And he declares his love for her even though she's as hard as stone

That's kinda how this is, you're as cold as ice to me, I'm struggling with my airflow
Why the fuck do you persist with ignoring me, do I not deserve a guitar solo
Now it's too late - you show love for Lennon and you make me feel like Yoko Ono

And all I wanted was a letter or a call
I hope you know I ripped ALL of your naked photo-shopped pictures off my bathroom wall
You're not keeping tabs on Harry either, he should be playing Taarabt, think about it,
the kid is the new Zidane, he's been destroying the Championship do you not dream about it?
And when you dream it I hope you can see his step-overs and you SCREAM about it
I hope your conscience EATS AT YOU and you can't BREATHE about it. Please don't sell him to Real Madrid, I want us to build the team around him.

See Daniel; {*screaming*}
Shut up bitch! I'm trying to talk!
Hey Daniel, that's Jermaine Jenas screamin in the trunk
But he ain't too good, I dropped James Corden on his head
See I ain't like you
'Cause with JJ his skills make me frown
It's time to get rid of him knees up mother brown

Well, gotta go, I think I'm almost here now
Oh shit, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this shit out?

{*car tires squeal*} {*CRASH*}
.. {*brief silence*} .. {*Police siren in the distance*}


Chorus: (Harry Redknapp)


[Daniel Levy]

Dear Mr Spooky, I meant to write you sooner but I've been quite busy
I'm glad you like the stadium plans, it will make the whole Prem dizzy
Look, I'm really flattered you spend so much time outside the ground
and here's an autograph from Gareth Bale, he's worth a few pound
He wrote it on a programme

I'm sorry I didn't see you at the Lane, I must have missed you
Don't think I did that intentionally just to disrespect you
But what's this stuff about a voodoo doll?
I say that's just slightly off-key
Come on now - you don't want yourself banned, in-front of a judge and have to plea

You got some issues Spooky, I think you need some counselling
To help I'll put your name down in the raffle for an Opus, you're bound to win
And don't worry we'll not be re-signing Boateng, would have preferred his brother
But sticking your head in the oven, that type of attitude makes me not want us to meet each other

I really think you need to stop getting so excited just relax it's no matter
We've got Modric on a long term contract it's left Fergie in tatters
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time before you hurt yourself,
I think that you'll be doing just fine, if you relax a little

I'm glad I inspire you but Spooky why are you so confused?
Try to understand, we've finished fourth you should be enthused
You should be so happy we've got into the Champions League, stop being so frantic
I watched this one bloke on the news a couple weeks ago that made me quite sick

He crashed his car into Matthew Norman's house, high and drunk on booze
Had some fat naked bloke gagged in the back and another weeping profuse
And they found his phone with a video message he made, but they didn't say who it was to
Come to think about, his name was...it was you... 

Damn.

Thursday
Jul082010

Glory comes in three colours...and a red dot

Never Red Fail.

New sponsor - Autonomy - for Prem games only. Apparently ENIC/Levy had shares in Autonomy Corporation PLC once upon a time (not sure if they still have minority shareholdings or not). Levy uses the word previously, so no bother either way - it's a good thing he's very familiar with them.

Anyone thinking the above mock up would be better with just the text or the logo (one or the other basically and not a mash-up of both)? Also - can we please get rid of the red dot please?

Anyways, who are they exactly? A global leader in infrastructure software. Not exactly sexy is it? But considering what they do, our shrewd chairman hasn't just bagged their cash but also their expertise (Autonomy will work with Tottenham Hotspur across a wide range of activities including significant consultancy support for enhanced services to fans and for the Club's new Stadium and Training Centre developments - from official Spurs news article). That's some nifty work.

No doubt Levy is also working hard at other commercial rights (i.e. stadium name), but then planning permission hasn't been officially granted and it's some time off - so the present is all about gaining money from a second shirt sponsor - for the domestic cups and (hopefully) CL group stages.

The thinking is if we qualify for the proper part of the Champions League, we'll bag a lucrative 12 month contract to cover it and the domestic cup competitions. Long term is always going to be dependent on where we finish in the league this season, so it's a risk for someone to offer us money and sign a long(er) contract for that reason. However, that's not to say we won't get a similar deal to our Prem one, which includes the option to extend it after 2 seasons. Guess we'll have to wait after the two qualifers.

Talking about money, it's around £20M or so from Autonomy (differing reports, some say £9M per season). Not bad, bit more than the Mansion deal. Nice work.

Watch this space is all we can do for the other remaining shirt sponsor.

In other news, according to the fabled ITK's (I read it on a forum) Harry has signed a new two-year extension. We await the oracle of the official site to confirm.

 

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Tuesday
Jun012010

Daniel Levy

I would.

Wednesday
May122010

With thanks

Dear Mr Levy,

Many have suggested over the past season or two that I have sold out. They say I am no longer a solider of fortune; no longer a personified rebellion against the Bourgeoisie mentality of the upper tier uber-rich West Standers. They whisper in the Park Lane toilets, in-between hurried puffs of Benson and Hedges, that I have been assimilated in amongst the other Spurs faithful. A passive shadow of my former self. Re-conditioned. Just another replica shirt in a stand of thousands.

It's been years since I last chained myself naked to a turnstile and 20 months since I turned up at the Spurs Shop dressed as Peter Griffin, attacking Chirpy with violent bloodthirsty impunity.

I no longer wait by the gates for directors to drive in and out of the club armed with water balloons (yeah, right, water...ha! If the club wishes to give us yellow streaks against our will, then let them have some back). I have practically seen out all my community service impeccably and I have not breached the conditions of the most recent court order that politely requests I stay 100 feet away from your good self and Mrs Levy. And your pet hamster.

Demonstrations, boycotts, drug-induced squirrels, surprise gift wrapped parcels consisting of dead animal parts. All of them things of the past. Stories forever chronicled in my letters to your office. I can't even remember the last time I stood outside your home and burnt a copy of The Opus. Which for the record is a very expensive bonfire, and at the time would have appreciated a heads-up that you were in Florida on vacation.

It would seem I have become a monument to myself. Just a membership number. Just a chant, a scream, a shout. A fan. Loyal. But no different to the next. Not unique in any special kinda way, no longer standing out in the crowd. No megaphone. No soapbox.

I hardly ever write to you. There is so much blood I can spare. I find there is little need to do so anyway. You hardly ever churn out any propaganda these days either. Although don't think I didn't hear you state the word considering when talking about the proposed plans to build a new stadium post-match at Eastlands. Slip of the tongue I presume.

But the last few letters I have written have been, dare I say, pro-you and prophetic also?

Back in May of 2009 I stated how we needed a change in culture of the team and players, the need to instil a winning mentality.

Look at us now.

Then at the end of August of 2009 I reiterated again in a letter to you how removing the Director of Football structure was the catalyst for progression.

Look at us now.

I forgave you unequivocally and practically ended my vendetta because of it.

And then on March 17th 2010, I continued my goodwill gesture and called for a THFC battle cry in our push for fourth spot. I officially and definitively called a truce. My heart and lungs belonging unconditionally to Tottenham Hotspur right up to the final day of the season. No agenda in sight.

So have I turned my back on all the things that defined me in the first place?

Of course not. I'm simply asleep. Dreaming a wonderful dream.

I said I'd give you a chance. I was initially weary of your back to basics appointment of Harry Redknapp but still supportive, and this decision - whether through desperation or acute insight - has turned out to be a master-stroke of good fortune and commitment. Resulting with end product. Actual 'I can taste it and it tastes good' end product.

Stability and belief. Much like Head and Shoulders, two things you've hardly ever got to grips with. And yet now we swim in a sea of renewed tangible progression, floating on top of it if we so wish to do so. Okay, so you still don't have hair on your head, but one miracle at a time please.

How could I possibly complain? Those impossible highs, those far-fetched dreams to envisage a team, a unit, fighting and playing for each other and refusing to choke, refusing to bottle it…to see this play out in front of my eyes. Our eyes. Complain? There is no need for such a negative sentiment. You listened to the people. You listened to me.

Complain, alas, I simply can't. I refuse to. So I'm only going to say this the once, and I'm hoping your secretary reads this out to you with some conviction and heart to further illustrate my positive sentiment. Here we go:

Congratulations on a job well done.

Yes. I said congratulations.

Granted, I've played my part. Retaining a gagged Jermaine Jenas in my basement dungeon for the best part of the season was imperative to sustaining our challenge for 4th spot - be it not very cheap and quite time consuming. And don't even get me started on the mess down there.

But the big decisions made within the walls of the club are ones that have sat firmly in your full control and your control alone. My mere mortal words can not quite infiltrate your brain when it most matters. Short of me attempting to hypnotise you, I can hardly influence your day-to-day agenda and work ethic at the club. And we all know what happened when I last attempted to hypnotise you. The less said about our night in Amsterdam the better. Never red? That might work over in N17, but in the 'dam, blue is always the colour best avoided.

So, for now until a time when required, no more surprise packages consisting of maggot infested bagels. No more attacking Chirpy (although I can't guarantee I wont have 'words' if he cuts me up with a trolley in Tesco's again. Once I can accept it being a mistake, twice, is more than a coincidence and three times is a blatant pattern. I'll hit the git so hard he'll require another round of plastic surgery). And finally no more burning of season tickets on the final day of the season.

I'm repeating my pledge once more. For you have delivered on yours.

Even if it was a bit like you driving around a roundabout in reverse, failing to turn the car into the correct direction and take the first exit north. You could have removed the unnecessary back-seat driver, ejecting him through the window far far sooner than you did. But you did it in the end. Dizziness can sometimes end with a moments clarity. And that's all that was required to make the right choice. Clarity. And a new driver altogether. One that requires no high-end sat-nav just some experience with a more traditional A-Z.

So here I am soft, like a Care-Bear's belly-button. I suggest you keep me like this, all cute and dainty. And if you really need to ask how, then allow me to refer you to next season. Consolidate the squad. If you want to dictate our destiny I suggest you grab the bull by it's horns and ride the f*cker into the sunset. Do not accept that this seasons end is our arrival, but rather our beginning. We still have a fair distance before we genuinely make an entrance.

Go fourth and prosper.

I suggest you avoid the caviar and Cristal and concentrate on the Champions League. In the mean time, on the recommendation of my psychologist, I'll be concentrating on Harry Redknapp. It's time to shift perspective from off the pitch to back on it. I'll still be hanging onto your effigy just in case it's required. You never know when a dream can turn into a nightmare and wake you up. I don't plan to be caught short.

In the mean time let's keep the donations to the Tottenham Foundation at an absolute minimum this summer and get past that CL qualifier.

Regards,
Spooky

Tuesday
May042010

It's time for another DVD. Make it a special edition please.

Let's start this off with a quote from our chairman.

Daniel Levy: “The disappointment we shall all feel if we do not make the fourth qualifying spot for Champions League will be a measure of exactly how far we have come.”

I agree with the sentiments. I'll be so gutted I will have to eat a dodgy lasagne for the purpose of distracting me from the emotional pain that would no doubt cause cataclysmic damage to my soul. 2006 was just so daft, it felt like the ending to a black comedy directed by Chris Morris. Food poisoning, final day of the season...it was all ominous and oh so obvious. You just knew it wasn't meant to be. I remember before setting off for the game watching Sky Sports and listening to them break the story about our sick players. Ridiculous. Surely not? Ho hum. If you looked up into the sky you'd have seen red scarf waving by the bearded ones.

There were various points of dejection throughout that season, long before the final day. Many looking back would cite the amount of points dropped in the final minutes of games. 4th spot was lost long before our players spent the afternoon puking up all over the Upton Park pitch. But it was still in our hands to lose. Which we did. But you can't argue against some of the players on the day giving it their all. It just wasn't enough.

What compounded things further (personally) was that night, around midnight, I woke up and proceeded to spend the rest of the early morning vomiting (amongst other things) thanks to...yep, food poisoning. I knew at that point the footballing Gods not only mocked me, they (the bastards) had unzipped and proceeded to piss all over me too. Worst. Day. Ever.

Rather than look back apologetically on similar days of dejection from this season (say for example the score-draw at Goodison) along with one or two other OMG moments, we should just forget and look forward. It's all rather simple.

Win at Eastlands (previous meetings, click here) and it's done and dusted. Draw and we go to Burnley on the final day (yes, they play in Claret and Blue...don't even think about it, right?). Lose that one and we can hardly expect any favours from the other team who play in similar colours.

I'm not loving the parallels if I'm perfectly honest with you. I'd go us far as saying, the footballing Gods (Chris Morris ghost writing for them) are scheming once more to dick us over. The hand of fate aside, choking and bottle jobs are two things that we seem to have overcome fairly well under Harry's guidance. We sometimes stumble and make things difficult for ourselves, but you can't question the team and their unity. It's all in the huddle.

Resolve. Heart. Spirit. Making of our own luck. Belief. It's been a season of growth, progression and consolidation for many of the qualities we aspire to have, that inspire us to push forwards with ambition. And intent to actually climb those steps upwards.

So, to be direct about things, I do not want to lose this game on Wednesday evening. I don't want us coming anywhere near losing it. I don't want to see us buckle under the pressure or give away stupid goals or lose because of a refereeing error. I don't want us to concede an early goal.

Harry has to be smart with his tactics. We all know City have inconsistent form at home in recent games. But this should be ignored. Advantage of being at Eastlands will no doubt see them take responsibility to appease their fans (and manager) by bringing the game to us from the off.

Keep it simple Harry. If King can play, great. If Lennon can start, equally great. Retain Bale on the left wing and Modric and Huddlestone in the middle. But if you believe 5 in midfield will work with counter-attacking football the weapon - then that's fine too. Draft in Palacios. Then consider who (one man) plays upfront. I still say keep it simple, 4-4-2 with all players working their bollocks off, what be a far better attempt of stamping our authority on the game.

Then there's Gomes and his groin. Ooh.

Players just need to be focused regardless who lines-up, as long as players are not asked to play out of position. If we draw, then off we go again into the final day.

City can be got at. I'm sure they feel the same way about us. They have enough ****'s in their team, enough arrogance and self-assurance to give it a right old ding-dong of a go. We have to be strong, and equally so in mind. We need to be clinical ****'s with cutting edge. No remorse. In for the kill.

We need to want this more than anything else.

And I want us to score first. Make them have to come at us for the equaliser. Make them and the home crowd nervous, uneasy. Let the disapproving moans and groans play havoc in the City players psyche, allowing the potential for a second goal.

It's easy when it plays out in your mind. The reality is, nobody knows how exactly this game will pan out. What tempo it will be played at. We might and might not turn up. Tempo wise, we can only hope it's one that suits us. Open and fast, Azza and Bale tormenting the wings. You'd think this will look and feel like a Cup final once the ref blows his whistle. You think, at the very least.

I've said it several times in the past year, we will finish in 4th spot. So it's now time to find out if my belief is shared by our players. And whether my heart is just governing my head. Not sure I really believed it back in 2006. 2010 is altogether a different kind of animal. We're not favourites for a start. We're away.

I have absolutely no doubt that we have turned 'that corner' of mediocrity and transitional seasons and have closed the gap on the failing giants just up ahead of us. Still plenty of work to be done. No matter who gets 4th place, let's not kid ourselves - next season will be even more difficult either way. The likes of Villa and Liverpool and Everton will make sure of that. City will splash money no matter what their fate is. The Prem is opening up wide at the top, faster than Jenna Jameson in her heyday. The monopoly has cracked.

Can we smash it to bits?

I can't wait to find out. I just know CL football means we can attract a world class player, perhaps two. Imagine our side with a player of Torres ilk upfront.

After 2006, to get this close again, our players should just go out there and die (metaphorically obviously) for the shirt. Don't look back at history, lunge forward and grasp what's before you with all your might and make it your own, so that next week, next month, next year...we can look back and say 'that's where the buck was trended'.

It's time for another DVD, lads. Make it a special edition please.

COME ON YOU SPURS.

To dare is to f*cking do. 

Thursday
Apr222010

FAO Daniel Levy

Ignoring the textbook media reports in the build up to Saturday's game that Manchester United are going to be looking at signing Gareth Bale in the summer for £20M (LOL), I'll further ignore delving deep into commentary over this 'rumour' and the subsequent discussions arising on both Spurs and Utd forums about the young Welsh monkey-God. Other than pointing out the success of Berbatov and Carrick since their departures. Both decent players. But both undervalued (it would seem) by many United fans. Although Bale is something quite different from these two and United were interested in the lad before we signed him. I suspect others will also knock on our door and wave money in our faces.

I'll get straight to the concluding point.

Gareth Bale. New Contract. Make it happen. Now.

Daniel, please make this summer a Tottenham Foundation contribution free summer*.

 

*Please feel free to make a contribution if you're not in anyway associated with Manchester United, Manchester City, Liverpool etc etc

Wednesday
Apr212010

A proper wtf transfer moment

So. Let me get this right. Pompey owe Spurs money (£1M) for a player that never actually signed and played for us because he rejected the deal. This is thanks, apparently, to a sell-on clause that was part of a two player deal to bring Begovic (the player in question) and Kaboul. You still following? The latter signed, the former went to Stoke instead.

So to clarify. We are owed one million pounds (little finger to edge of mouth) for a player who did not agree to complete the deal his club and Spurs shook hands on.

Two things.

1) Portsmouth. I guess this was Harry's doing, right? Right? Massive epic fail.

2) Daniel Levy. Genius.

Insanity that laughs in the face of logic, then rips its face off and wears it as a scarf. It's a bit like Liverpool purchasing Robbie Keane for £20.3M and us taking him back for £12M. Madness, just madness.

Oh wait up...

Thursday
Apr012010

We. Made. A. Mistake.

It's time to come clean. All of us. We need to stand under the shower of truth and allow the cleansing water to wash away the filthy lies and delusions from our bodies. The stench has become unbearable. We have walked the streets alone far too long, pretending and fooling ourselves that the empire of dust we worship has the foundations to aid us in reaching the heavens. Our faith, corrupted. Our hopes evaporated. The dust, blown away by the wind.

All this time, we whispered words that had no meaning. And now, these words, no longer twisted, stare back at us, taunting, as clear as the sun in the sky on a summers day. And there is nowhere to run to escape the chants.

We. Were. Wrong.
We. Made. A. Mistake.
He's. Better. Than. Sandra.

We should never have sold him.

Saturday 3rd April. The Stadium of Light. 3pm Kick-off. Sunderland v Tottenham Hotspur.

A team of Spurs rejects, led by another reject. Darren Bent. 21 goals. Goal machine. Defoe? Take away the five he scored against Wigan and he's lagging embarrassingly behind. Bent a reject? I think not. A man on a mission. Focused. Able to adapt to his surroundings and make it work in his favour. Who else can cunningly use a beach-ball to trick an opposition keeper? Defoe is nothing more than a loyal friend of the offside flag.

We took £10M+ for Bent and gave him away to Sunderland. Just because he shared his soul via Twitter. That's like paying a hit man tuppence to shoot you in the face twice (he might miss the first time round). Twelve yards requires a sniper rifle. Point blank, and he'll find his target.

Another nail in the Champions League coffin. Hammered into place by the hands of Daniel Levy, guided by the screams of Harry Redknapp.

There used to be a football club here.

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