'If it was the 1980's, he'd be a superstar'

Back in March 2009, I posted this here, asking the simple question: Is Huddlestone incredible or just plain ordinary. Here's some extracts/questions asked at the time. I guess the aim of this exercise is to see if any of the questions have came close to being answered (something I attempted to do first time round). See how you get on.

Hulk or Bulk?

But is Tommy too slow, cumbersome and defensively a liability?

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Or is that an unfair description for the player, where his strengths are of a more offensive nature?

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If you stick him in the middle of the park and the Spurs midfield are under pressure, can he step up and get stuck in, much like the maligned Jenas is capable of doing (when he's on song)* by running up and down the pitch and hassling opposition players?

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Just because he can deliver clever balls and Hoddlesque passes, does this warrant an inclusion in our starting line-up? And if it does, what would it mean to the structure and balance of the team?

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So unless Huddlestone actually has an overwhelming negative influence on the team, there is no reason why he can’t play centre-midfield in a role that takes full advantage of his vision and skills. Yes? Or no?

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So how do we maximise Tommy boy? Huddlestone - the quarterback? Sat in the middle laying off balls to both wings or dinking them forwards, with Wilson in the role of fullback, protecting him. Sounds immense on paper. Yes? or no?

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So does Huddlestone - passing abilities aside - give us enough strength and assurance down the middle? Can he adapt to the pace of the game and the quality of the opposition?

When the original article was written, Hudd was a bit part player, but he's now a fully fledged first teamer. So simply this: Is he making the grade? Harry appears to think so. Do you?

*Does that still count re: Jenas? Does he even give us an on song performance nowadays?

Rome wasn't built in a day

Dear Mr Levy,

Rome wasn't built in a day. But then again Rome wasn't built with plasticine. It seems that’s the main building block used by our centurions as they attempt to fathom the foundations for a brave new empire. Our putty like team of very small creatures is becoming stop-motion when it should be morphing and leaving all the goobledygook behind. It's the cause of missed heart beats. Are you as nervous as I am? You should be.

The last thing we want is for us to lose our grip on this very precious chance we've been given. You know exactly what I'm talking about. This season, nobody wants to do consistency. But at some point, someone, possibly more than one club will hit form. And if we're left behind then we'll be face palming well into the summer months at another lost opportunity. We don’t have to be great, we just have to be good. A little better than good will do just fine.

New stadium? Grand. Lovely. But that’s years away. And we've still got to get planning permission for it. And I can't be staring at photos of the proposed structure for the next half a decade whilst others travel around Europe visiting already built and populated stadia in the Champions League. Applause for all the sterling work off the pitch, with the business side of the club. I'm not naïve, I know that in this day and age the finances have to be strong in order for us to be able to spend £15M a pop on the latest player of the moment. Everything is primed and in place. It always has been. But that cutting edge in both decision making on a managerial level and on a chairman level has been left wanting. Leaving us with no cutting edge where it matters most - on the pitch.

You say, in a round-about-way that there is no money to spend on players. Meaning to sign someone we need to sell someone. Harry then comes out and suggests that all the proposed outgoing players according to the press are not actually going anywhere. And in the midst of all this we are meant to be signing Sandro. That's the Brazilian defensive midfielder, not Harry's better half. Classic word play there.

Obviously, what is said publicly is never a true reflection of what is going on behind the scenes, and that should be the case. No need to be in the know until the press conference. How we get there does not matter, as long as we do. As long as the conclusion is identical to the one the majority are hoping for. And in this case, the majority want to see certain players gone and brand spanking new ones arrive. You might believe that consistency regarding players is the way forward, but if some players are not capable of that, then consistency will never be forthcoming.

Recent results have highlighted that the team under Harry requires a bit of tweaking. By tweaking I mean gutting and by a bit I mean the same amount Jack the Ripper ripped out of his victims.

Harry has a monumental job in attempting to reshape a culture of comfort that exists deep in the psychosis of the club, no matter the players, staff or coach. The same niggling reoccurring issue of mental strength arises. Perhaps it’s our transfer policy and the ilk of players we traditionally bring here that are of a certain criteria that is only good enough for a mid-table to a rare 5th place position. Any player with true hunger for genuine success, looks elsewhere and we become a stepping stone for those who truly believe they can achieve more. Rather than those who don’t quite grasp the moment and remain content, chasing shadows on the field of play and women in bars.

Carrick moves on striding forwards with confidence. Jenas stays, picking his nose and chasing butterflies.

As a collective we constraint the entity that is Tottenham, eleven players, lacking a sustained balance to shift up a gear to the next level. From one generation to the next. It has to end. And doing it slowly slowly leaves no potential for a conveyor belt of club shop dvd releases. Score-draws are so yesterdays news darling. We want more. Much more. And we want it now.

It's time to throw more money at the problem at hand. It's the only way to fix it. No time for patience. No time to wait for the players to learn from their mistakes and grow together. They have taken us as far as they can. Harry (when he arrived) rid the club of the cloud of depression, got the players working as a unit, got us strong and capable away from home and lifted belief. But these blips we are experiencing are ones that are becoming detrimental to our immediate ambitions. It's because some of the players are punching above their weight and failing to land any shots.

The responsibility is split between yourself, the coach and the players. But one cannot move to resolve it unless the other two aid its attempt.

The blips need removing. Show Harry the money. Let Harry make the changes to the team and that will allow the team to turn from plasticine into something more quantifiable. Like Lego. You can build cool stuff with Lego. Like the Millennium Falcon. Plasticine doesn't do hyperdrive. And let's face it, Han Solo or Lando Calrissian sitting on top of a ball of clay in the midst of the Galactic Civil War is never going to be a cool or productive sight to behold. And remaining on this literal space kick...

Robbie Keane is playing football out of phase, like that episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation where Geordi La Forge's quantum state is out of sync with normal matter, leaving him invisible to all around him. Unable to influence anything or anyone around him. If I remember correctly, it was thanks to a transporter accident. Something that is quite possibly the reason behind Robbie's demise since his road trip north went south. He can't even be arsed to wave his hands around and shout anymore. That's the damage Rafa inflicted on this once crowd favourite. The player that made Berbatov look great.

Crouch isn't scoring the goals - proving that tall players are only good for hoofing the ball up to their head, and as he's useless with his head, he doesn't really do enough with his feet to warrant a place alongside Defoe. Honestly, that thing he does with his feet. You know, the controlling of the ball? Don't shout it out but I swear I've seen normally sized players do the same. Ssh.

And as for Defoe, over-rated. Scores five against Wigan then misses a penalty against Everton and does nothing against Wolves. That's all the evidence I need. He's due another loan spell.

Pavlyuchenko? I can't actually remember the last time I saw him play. Does he still wonder the aisles in the Tescos over in Waltham Abbey looking to pick up cheap dvd players with the aid of his interpreter? Can you perhaps email Comolli and ask him to forward the youtube link that he based his decision to sign him on? Perhaps we can sue the Frenchman for industrial sabotage.

The midfield requires more weight. And I'm not talking about feeding Huddlestone extra cheeseburgers. There is no leader, no one to scream and shout at the players. It's a fundamental basic ingredient. And it's missing. Talking of which, your poster boy Jenas is still knocking around. Doing what exactly remains a mystery. But there he is. There. Just standing, watching, as the world passes him by. Young English player with bonus sell-on value. So when the fuck do you ever plan on selling him then? HIS VALUE IS DECREASING WITH EACH SUNSET MATE.

And as for Hutton. Allow me to make a suggestion here based on what I know from experience. He was signed from Rangers. That's it. No more questions your honour, no more questions. Players that look good up in Scotland will probably be passable at a Championship side down south. I guess if the club spends £8M on Dean Richards, then £8M on Alan Hutton is a given. You know, cause we don't want to appear to be racialists.

Gio. Mexican. Likes to party. Doesn’t like to train. Played for Barcelona. He's going to be a mega star. He just needs time. More time. And protection. Just like Adel out on loan to QPR. Both world beaters. You just wait and see. Just wait. They can dribble, the lads. Get 'em playing for us. Recall Adel. Play Gio. I'm telling you, it's…okay, this one, it's going nowhere fast.

Even the good ones are struggling. Take Wilson Palacios who has gone from beast to Gruffalo. He has lost the tenacity and discipline to own the space between defence and the oppositions midfield. Like a key lost behind the sofa, he's busy looking for it in the kitchen. Its behind the sofa! The sofa, Wilson, the sofa! He just needs to refocus. Thankfully, that might happen with the aid of a little Croatian by the name of Luka. Small enough to fit his skinny arms and reach out for the missing key. But we cannot place all hope on his petite shoulders.

The back four changes it's line-up more times than Danielle Lloyd changes…ah, nah, I'm not going to go there. Way too easy. I'll be the first not to.

And don't even dare get me started on David Bentley. You know Dave, right? He's the one making mischief with the star jumping and the skip shooting. You can't miss him. He's wearing a wolf costume. And as punishment, Harry sends him to bed without his supper. And in his room a mysterious wild forest and sea grows out of his imagination and he sets sail to the Land of the Beck Things. These are smouldering good looking sexy creatures that Dave conquers by staring into their beautiful green eyes without blinking once and is made the King of all Beck Things. And he dances around with them in a not so but quite possibly metrosexual way and has much fun and then finds himself lonely and homesick so he returns to find that although his supper was left waiting for him, it was now gone. Yep. No hot supper. No, it wasn't Tommy. Not this time. It was patience. Patience ate his supper, his last supper. And as far as I'm concerned he can go back to his imagination land with his showboats and row z free-kicks if it means selling him to any mug willing to take him off our hands.

The problems we have, they are obvious ones. Do not allow complacency to ruin it. Remove the dead parts. Replace them. And then work with the improved group to further improve their state of mind. Your job is to make sure that Harry has the support to birth consistency before we lose our way completely.

All this is quite possibly in hand already. So I guess this just serves as a reminder of what I'm expecting. Because you know, us fans know exactly how a football club and team should be run more than anyone. Take note and get back to me at the end of January.

Regards,

Spooky

Textbook Tottenham trip up again

Spurs 0 Wolverhampton 1

“Ridiculous that there's butterflies and nervous twitches in amongst the Spurs faithful, but such is the way of supporting this club. Nothing can ever be taken for granted”

– Spooky, Spurs v Wolves match preview

Bloody hell. It's almost like I scripted the result with my match preview of the game. Word for word what I asked from the players, to avoid, they appear to have embraced and allow themselves to fall victim to yet another 'OMG' home defeat.

Here's me, pre-match, concerned about which Spurs we'd witness against Wolves. The one that took Wigan apart or the one that failed to up the tempo an extra notch and were wasteful in front of goal, losing to Stoke? I had forgotten about that other one. The distant cousin that always turns up uninvited, spoiling the occasion. I'm talking about the one that plays football like they've forgotten how to play football. Casual, sloppy, lazy. No change of gear, no initial urgency - until it's too late in the day. Just going through the motions, full of sort-of-half-chance opportunities with plenty of over-hit passing.

Nothing overly exciting. Little faith.

And the perfect fit for an away side, regardless of their quality. Its comfortable playing against this Spurs because there not asking enough questions to keep you occupied. Get a goal, and the likelihood is that you'll see out the game, always capable of countering and scoring a second and never that worried that Spurs will perhaps find a way through.

It's like a eunuch in a harem. No chance of any sustained penetration. No moneyshot.

It’s the common blip, the advert of inconsistency we all know too well. The irritation that ground-hogs its way through our lives season upon season. When we expect Spurs to win, expect the result to go the other way. One down after three minutes and that voice in your heard is laughing uncontrollably.

2nd half saw both Moddle and Crouch on. But neither could muster up a killer ball or lay off.

If our lacklustre performance wasn't bad enough, the second ominous ingredient, is that of urgency that arrives in the guise of panic. It's a variety tinged with over-eagerness that builds up with each passing minute. Players lacking the composure and decisiveness for the break-through.

We dominated the second period, but that cloud that darkened our day (Stoke at home) was brooding over N17 again, ready to pour down further misery.

This is a collective problem. Not any given individuals fault. When presented with what looks like an equaliser, its fluffed. It's surreal at times, almost like nobody wants to take responsibility.

Lennon, escapes his marker and runs into the penalty area, squaring it, but no clear shot is taken. The half is littered with these types of examples. Possession is evident. But it's untidy in the final third, even if it looks dangerous (for Wolves) as they defend, nobody in Lilywhite puts foot on ball and attempts to play or hit it with intent and confidence.

This is the perfect illustration of how not having a commanding leader on the pitch is detrimental because we seem to suffer easily if things don't appear to be going our way. It's going to happen this sort of thing. Any club can go 1-0 down at home to a lower placed side that are expected to be beaten. But usually, the home side turns it around. However, there appears to be no in-betweeners for Spurs.

We either win and win comfortably, or we stutter and lose by a goal having dominated the vast majority of the game. Left scratching our heads. Another passage of play saw Corluka cross in for Kranjcar, this is it, no its not. Wasted.

Gio, with a rare appearance replaced the Croat and you just knew things were now beyond desperate. But still, anything crossed in was scruffy rather than clean-cut.

All Wolves had to do today was score. Just the one chance. Which they did, nice and early. Nice and simple. Then sit back and watch us limply attempt to equalise. One of those days? Yes, one of those reoccurring days that is becoming a major bugbear. Do we switch off? Is it a belief issue? Soft back bone? We know we are better than this, yet we are still capable of disappointing afternoons.

Did I mention lack of leadership?

Absolutely waste of a Premier league game (from our point of view). The frustration made worse because you go away thinking, we didn't play badly, right? Right?

Wrong.

It's a poor performance simply because we failed to do the simple things. Failed to grab the game, slow it down and then build it back up again - to our requirements and tempo. Regardless, well done to Wolves. They completed a rather simple act of getting the ball across the goal line. Something we made look like mission impossible.

I don’t know why I'm even surprised at the loss. This was textbook. What’s worrying is that we've now outplayed our last three opponents and failed to win in any of the games.

We are owed a complete performance against City. That will make or break Christmas.

Good to see Luka back. The one bright spot in an otherwise gloomy weekend. Hopefully it doesn’t take him too long get back to 100%. Hearing that BAE had an altercation with a fan that involved hands round neck. I've not dared venture into the message boards this evening or yet to have read any official match reports. I'll leave that until later, when I'm less delicate.

Talking of delicate, a final word for our mentally weak troopers. We don’t appear to have the desire to be top 4. This week at least. I'm sure it will change again next week. And that's the conundrum Harry has to resolve quickly. Cancel out these anomalies before they became our signature. No more yo-yo'ing.

In some ways, it wasn’t so much Wolves beating us, rather Spurs beating Spurs. You know exactly what I’m referring to here. We are doing this to ourselves far too much. In 2006 we’d lose 1-0 leads in the dying seconds of games that cost us at the death. This time round we appear to go from goal scoring pimps to impotent apologists from one game to the next.

The art of scoring and not scoring goals by Tottenham Hotspur. Guaranteed to give you a headache.

More later.

Spurs v Wolves: The Making of the DVD (match preview)

Match preview time. Shockingly short (by my usual standards). Busy weekend means I'm unlikely to be online tomorrow morning to allow for any form of blogging.

So...

Which Spurs will turn out at White Hart Lane this weekend?

Sexy swaggering Spurs (9-1 v Wigan) or the possession dominating chance wasting version (0-1 v Stoke)? It's not going to be the latter. It positively absolutely can not be the latter. We have to win. Quality on the pitch, pound for pound, player for player has to equal three fat points served up on a plate with a side order of chips and salad to compliment the spit-roast dished out, cooked to perfection, glazed and crispy.

Badly constructed analogy aside, we can't afford any slip-ups.

70% of the ball, wave upon wave of attack, 15/20 shots at goal - all of these stats will count for nothing if Stoke, I mean Wolves, sucker-punch us to win by a single goal.

I'm not suggesting we'll walk it. I'd like us to, but rather than believe that Wolves will be easily brushed aside, I'd like to think Harry and the players are well aware that these are the worst types of banana skins. That ruthlessness missing in the Everton game has to be back in abundance, much like it was against Wigan. Kill 'em off. Dismantle them. This isn't about not showing Wolves respect. It's about showing (us) the fans some.

Mental strength of a different kind required. Wolves have been easily bullied at times this season and it's all dependent on what Mick McCarthy decides to do tactically (defend with 10 outfield players behind the ball). If this game is open, it might end up being another DVD. It its not, and they frustrate us, then God help us and all the admins and moderators on all the football message boards across the internet.

City fudged it up at home against them, so there's evidence of fighting spirit in their ranks. That's the match template to avoid. Don’t rest on our laurels. Give them enough problems to be concerned with in order to overwhelm them. The Wigan template being the one we need to follow.

I don't expect Harry will change much. Maybe the re-introduction of Robbie Keane (in case we get a penalty, and he does loving playing against his former clubs) at the expense of Crouchie. Defoe will want to add to his tally and make up for the two points lost thanks to his less than confident spot kick. Niko has the chance to dictate tempo, with a certain other Croatian looking on. I'm hoping Luka gets his 20/25 mins of action, gently reintroduced to the side. I'm still going with one word: Galvanise. That's what he'll do when he's fully fit. And I can only imagine the type of noise when he stands on the touchline with a final stretch or two before running on to dink and sway and cut inside with the of the hairs on the back of my neck, long in hibernation, ripping themselves free from my skin and rocketing into the sky over North London.

No pressure Modric. No pressure lad.

Wouldn't change anything else. No King and no Woodgate means it's up Dawson to lead by example at the back. Bassong needs to improve. BAE will return to his usual composed quiet self after the antics up at Goodison Park. Daws has done well for us back there and although we suffered (shape wise) at Everton due to lack of 'experience' (yes, he's 26 years old but he's no Woodgate or King in terms of organisation) it should be a little more comfortable at the Lane. Well, as long as the midfield make sure the offensive play is scrumptious at best for our strikers to feed off. Although I'd happy score three from 5 chances than 1 from 15.

As for Azza. Hugging the touchline or counter-attacking, either way, get the ball over to him and let him do what he does best. Could well be a case of Niko to Lennon to the wing, cross/cut back, header/shot…goal.

Football. It's just plenty of running around and kicking it in the net® (all rights reserved Harry Redknapp).

Jenas for Wilson? What do you reckon? Might be the only other potential change. Might. JJ loves games like this (weaker opposition) and if he gets forward he'll cause little 'hampton a stiff problem or two. I live for the day to witness JJ bossing a game, running with complete impunity from deep in midfield, thrusting forward with guile and smashing it in to wheel away in celebration, chest out, proud and loving it. Oh gosh, did I just share with you my number one fantasy?

*Blush*

Huddlestone, for all the much-maligned discussion, will once more retain his place. If Wilson does play in midfield alongside him then he'll have plenty of time to run onto balls, edge of box, and play those pin point balls to feet that we do appreciate (and we do).

It's got to be professional.

Ridiculous that there's butterflies and nervous twitches in amongst the Spurs faithful, but such is the way of supporting this club. Nothing can ever be taken for granted.

COYS, sing up sing up.

Sandro, done and dusted, so say the Brazilians...

Okay, brace yourselves for yet another tabloid explosion. I've seen the News of the World have already picked up on this, and had I not read Cule-Spur's post over at GG I'd have thought the hacks over at the red tops were ITK and not just looking across the Atlantic towards South America where apparently the Brazilian press have been running with the story since yesterday. Globo Sport broke it and have been running Sky Sports News style it all day and are also discussing the possible replacement once Sandro makes his way to sunny N17.

Sandro is on his way. I know. Who'd have thought it.

I guess there's money in the kitty to splash out with, post-car boot sale.

Then again, perhaps this is just an example of Brazilian tabloid guess-work. Keep panties on for now.

How much does a Bentley cost?

So apparently, Daniel Levy does not envisage the club being very active cometh the Jan transfer window, although he suggests that if opportunities arise we'll take note - but shouldn't expect any net spending. And to dizzy up the quotes further he's reassured Harry that there will be no disruption to the core team. To quote Mr Chairman:

"Having a settled squad gives us the best chance for consistency. We are striving for top-level displays, including the ability to take on and beat the so-called top four teams."

I'm thankful we have proven top 4 players like Robbie Keane in the squad. And Gerrardesque midfielders such as Jenas box to boxing their way up and down the pitch, when he's not sitting on the bench watching Huddlestone do the same thing. Well, not do the same thing pound-for-pound. Hudd has no need for speed. He lets the ball do all the running. Mobility is for people with no footballing brain. But midfield semantics aside, we're good to go. We've got a back four unit, robust and sturdy, a mixture of youth and experience. Mostly youth at the moment. And we have cover for our midfield enforcer. He's at Pompey, but should be back with us in no time. We've got no true cover for our little wing wizard, but that's fine, because he won't get injured. And as for our forward line-up (did I mention Robbie Keane?) we've got the master of scoring goals in bursts and breaking the offside trap (Defoe) and the perfect foil (Crouch) when our players forget tactics and resort to hoofing the ball. And let's not be forgetting the soon-to-be-back-in-Lilywhite, Luka Modric. Who I guess in essence will be akin to a brand spanking new signing. Maybe we could have a press conference and pretend we've just signed him to make up for the despondency that there will not be a £15M transfer splurge on new blood when 2010 tick tocks into our lives.

Consistency equates to beating the so-called top four teams. Who are so-called top four because they finish in the top four positions. I made that connection all on my own. And we've had consistency this season, be it with missing players (due to injuries) and an ever-changing back-four line-up and erratic forwards which has given us a consistent set of results. 3-1, 3-0, 3-0. Zero points. Against three of the top four. The other one doesn't count because everyone is beating them.

So enjoy your Christmas presents because we wont be unwrapping too much in the way of surprises when the window reopens. Other than Sandro. Because Harry mentioned we're interested and the chairman is working towards a deal. Oh, and we're going to need to add a little in the way of depth when replacing Roman Pavlyuchenko and David Bentley. They're not core players. We hardly ever play them. And they're not very good. And for the sake of avoiding egg on face (or perhaps managing to wipe away the egg currently on face) the club will need to recover something from their self-pitying stays in N17. And we all know Bentley is a certainty to go after his show-boating antics in a Spurs friendly game that infuriated Harry. You'll have seen it doing the rounds today. A few days after the story was posted and shared in various message boards. You know the one. The one where Harry tells David he's going to get rid of him. DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM-DA-DADUM.

Let's hope we get a good price for a cluttered Bentley with a dodgy engine and hanging fuzzy dice.

I can't keep this up anymore.

There is no story here. We've obviously not got bundles of cash to spunk wastefully on players. Mainly because we've already spunked it. On wasteful players. We're letting people know indirectly (directly) we have no intention of over-spending (breaking a habit of a life-time here).

The main backbone of the side is good enough to sustain some sort of challenge. As good a challenge that a club like Spurs (non-Champions League and non-Sheik owned)  can prepare for. It's the meat around the bones that needs beefing up. And it's guaranteed that anybody who is deemed malignant will be removed with swift and necessary surgery.

The money will be there to spend once we streamline the squad, we just don't need to be mentalists about it. A defensive midfielder is needed (Sandro the obvious target). A centre-back (long-term solution to the Ledley King conundrum) should also be discussed in-house. Unless you think a back four of BAE - Bassong - Dawson - Corluka will work without a commanding, leading presence to guide them (Daws is 26 years old, but lacks sustained experience). Perhaps a goalkeeper too. For cover, nothing more. Other solutions will involve development rather than throwing money at it to make it work (i.e. Bale - is he a left-back or a left-midfielder and can he cover BAE's absence when he leaves for the African Nations Cup?).

The backbone of the side will suffer no major trauma (which means key players - yes, Robbie Keane is a key player) will stay put. So it's not exactly breaking news that selling to buy is going to be the tactic here. And that there is no need for massive massive signings.

If you think back to 2006, what we failed to do is bulk up in Jan (didn’t we sign Ghaly?) and had we, we might well have wrapped up 4th spot long before the saboteur broke into the hotel and coughed germs all over the players soon to be eaten dinner. Levy knows already (thanks to Harry's complaints a while back about the lack of midfield depth) that we need consolidation in that area. Ignoring Robbie Keane's shout-out about how strong our bench is, we all know the reality is rather different. We don’t have enough in reserve.

Expect a post-Christmas cracker. We'll sign what we need, nothing more, nothing less and then it's all down to the manager and the players to believe and work hard. Qualities that might prove to be priceless in the long run.

A Guide to Knee-jerking

A Guide to Knee-jerking

Hello. Welcome to my Guide to Knee-Jerking, presented by my good self, Gareth Bale. As you know I play left-back and sometimes cameo in the left midfield position. I have beautiful hair, conditioned and shampooed every day and a cheeky Welsh smile as wide as the valleys back home. There's been plenty of confusion recently with regards to the form of my team, Tottenham, and our progress as we mount a Top 4 challenge, so to help you along, here's something I prepared so you can avoid confusion at the final whistle of games and be cool with your mates and impress them with your unbiased and insightful opinions on Spurs. Enjoy.

If we win well, then it’s a sure sign of certain progression and the 90 minutes in question stands as a true testament of our season ahead.

Lose, and the same logic applies in reverse, deeming us simply not good enough. Feel free to jump from one bandwagon to the next on a fortnightly basis dismissing your prior standpoint.

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It's perfectly fine for a player to sit at the top of the goal-scoring charts and be worshipped with much acclaim after a 5 goal haul, but remember - if he misses a few chances or perhaps even a penalty, it's unquestionable evidence that he's over-rated and one dimensional. I mean come on, five against Wigan? If we had Rasiak up front in that game, even he would have scored. Probably. Might have. Okay, maybe Rasiak isn't the best example there. Nico Claesen would have bagged six.

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Substitutions made by Harry Redknapp should only be cited if:

A) He doesn't make any substitutions, which is proof he has not got a clue how to change a game
B) He makes a sub and nothing in the game changes (meaning he made the wrong sub)
C) He makes a sub, but in hindsight, not at the right moment in the game, meaning he made the wrong sub
D) He makes a sub and we still lose, meaning he's responsible for the defeat
E) He makes a sub and that sub has a positive impact - the player gets the credit

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If Robbie Keane plays but doesn't score it's because he was otherwise engaged with all the hard work and running into deep positions to aid the teams structure with connecting the midfield with the attack and if he did not do this under-rated work, the side would not function properly. This is bollocks. Do not be fooled by this blatant propaganda. Running up and down the pitch doesn't constitute productive play. If he does not score, he has done nothing to warrant his place in the side. If he scores, he didn't mean it. I'm only joking Robbie. Everyone knows he was the one that made Berbatov look good.

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If Ledley King has an off-game, it's all the proof you need that he's finished and it's time for him to retire.

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Playing scrappy, with various players lacking decent form, but still managing to scrap a fortunate win is the true sign of resilience and mental strength.

Playing scrappy, with various players lacking decent form, but unluckily failing to scrap a fortunate win is the true sign that we're a team without resilience and mental strength.

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Huddlestone. Just have a dig at him so you're not left out of conversations. Make sure you get in the one about the QE2 and turning around slowly and your mates will be buying you drinks for the rest of the night. However, if he's scored one of those blistering volleys, he's top drawer and who needs mobility when you can score from distance, right?

If you're not a fan of his passing, it's because his passing range is nothing more than disguised long hoofing balls forward.

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Peter Crouch. It's totally his fault that most of the balls played up to him are high and in the air. He's tall ffs. What does he expect? Ball to feet? God created him like that for a reason, so stop confusing matters with your tidy quick feet Peter and try and head the ball for once rather than give away yet another free-kick.

Rubbish, just rubbish. 

-

Young players. If they don't play well or look out of sorts, get on their back! It's a common misconception, but the more you sigh and groan and slate them, the more chance they have of improving. Look at me. I'm improving all the time, even defeated my jinx recently and it's all because people keep saying that I should go out on loan or be sold to Birmingham.

-

Top 4 is a possibility but only when we win games, not when we drop points. The more points dropped the less likely we are to make the Champions League. It's obvious, no? However, if the clubs considered our rivals drop points, its because they are suffering a slight dip in their projected form, and that form is evident when they win a single game - proving they have far more than us to sustain a challenge.



Next week: David Bentley goes in search for the dodo, "It's out there. I know it is".

Everton 2 Spurs 2 Autopsy: Cry me a river

Decided not to blog post-match on Sunday evening, mainly because I was waiting to see if I was about to be consumed by the knee-jerking that took place on various message boards. Specifically the knee-jerking on the Glory Glory board. Anyone browsing in would think the Mayans got their prediction about 2012 a couple of years off. Absolute melt-down of the highest order. Half the players were being slated, everyone was suddenly writing off any chance of a Top 4 challenge and Harry was the culprit responsible for our downfall. Bedlam. People should stay away from football forums during and just after a game as emotions tend to over-take sensibility.

Regardless of the fires and riots, I still found myself conflicted. I was struggling with the notion that perhaps the knee-jerking was the correct response to losing a two-nil lead and then missing the opportunity to take all three at the death. Perhaps not knee-jerking is nothing more than a delusion, a form of denial and that brushing off the reality of the two points lost was the easy way out. Brush it under the carpet, tag it under 'learning curve', place it in the bottom drawer and close it shut.

"One of those days"

Even though we tend to suffer one of those days every time we're meant to be witnessing the necessary move up to the next level. You sort of kind of can't blame some peoples reaction.

And that's the crux of it. The reason why everyone despondently frowned as they turned the pages of the 'How to throw away points by Tottenham Hotspur' manual and in unison sighed at the predictable outcome at the final whistle. This was textbook. But then why do people act so surprised when it happens?

Pre-match, I was confident. Teasing and (tongue in cheek) asking for a 4-0 away win. I wasn't alone, although being a Spurs fan, you almost know that in the type of games you're expected to win you usually falter. Everton, depleted, but perhaps not unconscious in a shallow grave as most assumed. I called for 'mental strength'. And once again, Miss Irony lashes out and slaps me across the face. How dare I insult her.

"This season is going to be tight, and these are the types of tests we need to pass with flying colours"

Famous last words from me.

Congratulations to Everton on their victory. However, had Defoe taken the penalty with any sort of ruthlessness then the aftermath wouldn't be half as dramatic as it is at the moment. We'd have won, and there would have been the same questions about certain areas of our play but I guarantee you there would also have been plenty of 'this is what Top 4 clubs do, they win games no matter the obstacles they face' types of bravado. And yet, the miss means that we are suddenly not good enough. The logic used with some of our fans is based on a game-to-game template. The expectations are complicated, rather than simplified. And everything that has come before is rendered redundant based on the 90 minutes of football just played.

We fucked up. There's no doubting it. 19 attempts on goal, we (again) looked like the home side in an away match. 4-0 would have been the outcome had we been a touch sharper. The match was lost not on the Everton comeback or the penalty miss but the lack of clinical finishing. Up until the final 20 minutes Everton were plucky and physical and bullish but had little to offer in the way of goal opportunities. That was until we gladly allowed them the time and space to score.

Rather than assert ourselves we let them progress forwards. Wave and wave of ugly snarling effective football. Ominous it was.

And this is where my conflict sat and why so many knee-jerked after the game. Why oh why do we always allow sides back in when we've bossed the game? Answer? No leadership. Imagine a Roy Keane in the middle of the park barking out orders. Harry has come in for some slack for not motivating from the touchline or making substitutions that make no sense. I'm waiting for the theory that he hypnotised Wilson Palacios and forced him to spread the ball out to Coleman (lovely player) who was left with space ahead of him and the next time we touched the ball was to take it to the centre of the pitch to kick-off.

Bale was slaughtered by most, but how many noticed Niko drifting into no man's land and leaving Gareth alone to face two Everton players? He stood little chance. Although that's not to say he looked comfortable at left-back (brought on because BAE was losing his head). Bale is probably more suited for the left-midfield position anyway, as it appears our coaches have done little to improve his defensive qualities.

It's amazing that from a position of complete authority and control, I was willing on the final whistle towards the end. Again, here festers my conflict. We've seen this so many times. But once more, I call lack of leadership on the pitch as the main reason for the inept surrendering of two points. Losing shape and concentration is proof that mental strength is still lagging desperately. As though we had switched off at 2-0 up and decided the game was done, rather than perhaps step up a gear and score a third.

Wilson, who had an indifferent game (very untidy at the start, but introduced a little bite later on) won us the penalty and was then carted off to hospital. I'm certain I was not alone in thinking JD would miss. But then most people would think that (regardless of the team/player) because it was one of those matches full of twists and turns. And it's Tottenham and making us suffer is what they do best.

Then the knee-jerking hellmouth explodes releasing all manners of over-reactions and ridiculous analysis, including a personal favourite where some people thought Harry should have got Keane on the pitch to take the penalty. The same Keane that most prefer to have sitting on the bench…forever. Another gem was the question that asked whether Defoe is over-rated. Yes he is. Because he missed a penalty. Send him back to Pompey the useless git. He only ever scores when it doesn't matter. Fabio should drop him from the England team.

So, am I still conflicted? No. Not really. I'm still gutted. More so than the home defeat to Stoke. Could have been worse, we could have been two-nil up to West Ham and let it slip. But it's Monday morning, and I'm still pissed that we failed to kill the game off. And in the past we'd have been happy with a point. But times have changed. The frustration is that times need to be changing further. It's in need of some tweaking.

Whether you blame Harry for this (killing a game off) inability is dependent on how patient you are and how long you believe a learning curve should last for. There's that old chestnut about how no matter the players no matter the staff no matter the manager - the same reoccurring problems exist. Years and years of devolution (with the occasional spike) can not be fixed over-night. When Harry took over we had a mixture of good and bad players who were all under-performing. He's got us up to where we should be based on the squad we have. The underlining problem still at large is that we are still lacking that little bit extra. That mental resolve comes with belief and if you don’t have players on the pitch who led by example and scream and shout orders to others then it's easy for the complacency to creep back into a performance.

Of course, you might deem my conclusion to be optimistic. Denial? No massive massive knee-jerk? Sorry to disappoint.

We're in good shape. And had that pen gone in, we'd be third. We are still top 4 and we've got Wolves at home next. And if we manage to beat City in the following game, watch how a single 90 minutes once more changes opinions from one side of the spectrum to the other. Because Villa and City have suddenly woke up, some of our fans are citing how this is not good news because we faltered and thus we have shown a weakness too great to overcome. Regardless of the fact City drew 7 on the trot and Villa have been a little inconsistent in places. The fact both won means their 90 minutes of football out-weighs our, and therefore they are in a stronger position because they are about to improve tenfold. It's wonderful logic.

This season hasn't even got started yet. Nothing has change from 4 weeks ago to now. We still need a new midfielder. Other clubs around us will drop points. At some point we will have to step up to that fabled next level, the level where we would have beaten Everton. Next time out, in a similar situation, if we lose our heads again in the same fashion - then rather than knee-jerk, we should just admit we don't quite have it in us and Harry/the players have failed to learn from prior lessons.

You might pose the question that there's no room for this type of complacency and that points dropped now are irreversible damaging our season. I guess opinions on this will remain divided.

My confliction is now resting deep in its own shallow grave. Don't compare the disappoint of this game to games of similar ilk from past seasons. We tend to react positively nowadays. We learn and move onwards. We're not about to implode.

The reports of our death have been greatly exaggerated.  

Get a grip and dry them.

Another massive massive game

Everton away. Considering how Villa and City got on yesterday and the fact that if we're serious about competing for a top 4 place - I can't see anything less than 3 points as being an acceptable result today. King of the understatements. Everton are depleted.

Heitinga (suspended).

Anichebe, Areta, Jagielka, Neville, Vaughan all injured.

Distin, Gosling, Yobo, Jo, Osman...all doubtful.

I'll be disappointed if we go there, under-perform and lose. I'll be disappointed if we go there and fail to capitalise on their plight. I'll be disappointed if we don't win convincingly. I'm not asking for the moon on a stick here. Show the same intent we had in the Villa (second half) game, and we'll be all smiles come the final whistle.

Big test of our mental strength this. Considering the lack of sustained effort against the Utd reserves in the cup. Take the game to them, boss possession and pick 'em off. There's no doubt Moyes will have his side giving it 100% so - if you abide by the Laws of Hope - you'd think we'd be able to tell our class show.

As for Harry, who's he gonna  pick? Huddlestone or Jenas? Keane or Crouch?

I'll start Huddlestone and let him quarter-back his way through the game, spraying balls to his hearts content. Niko has to be certainty. And personally, I'd stick Crouchie up front with JD and let the Everton defence worry about the tall man little man combo.

This season is going to be tight, and these are the types of tests we need to pass with flying colours.

COYS and all that jazz.

Sandro the destructive to Spurs?

Sandro. The missing piece of the jigsaw. Although if I'm completely honest, I'm basing that on what I think is the missing piece rather than the type of player Sandro actually is. I can't really offer anything in the way of personal 'I swear on my life' insight into what type of player the young Brazilian is. Sure, I can quote you from a tabloid transfer article or perhaps what a regular on the Glory Glory forum thinks, but I've never actually seen the bloke play. Youtube/online streaming video footage doesn't count, mainly because it has a habit of mis-interpretation.

I remember salivating at ridiculous 30 yard goals from impossible angles (Rebrov) and tricky instinctive box work (Postiga) only to be left crying despondently with regret later. My only 'experience' of Sandro is from signing him for Spurs side in my current FM2010 save game and using him as back-up for Wilson Palacios - sometimes even partnering him in the middle for a difficult away game. Based on a computer game, Sandro is strong and although defensive, has plenty of attacking qualities and an eye for scoring from distance (although this may be thanks to an in-game mis-representaiton/bug where far too many goals are scored from long range).

So, who is Sandro exactly? Can he hit the ground running if he turns out in Lilywhite come January, or will he require a season or so of 'bedding in' to settle into the tempo of the EPL? Or perhaps he is confident and adaptable and wont struggle as long as he joins a side that's in form. If we are performing, it will be far easier for him to get to grips with midfield tussles.

All I have to go on is a gut feeling at the moment. Which is risky. So I can only think our scouts have seen enough of this lad to warrant him a worthy acquisition. Rather than a superfluous (there's that word again) one. The last time we signed a DM, it was Wilson. And although Wilson appears to have suffered a little with form in recent months - there's no doubt he will recapture the type of discipline he possessed at the back end of last season. So bringing in a young understudy has to be the answer. Jamie O'Hara obviously is not. Bostock is possibly a couple of seasons away from breaking into the first team (and he's a little more offensive). Jenas is Jenas, bless his little cotton socks.

Sandro, still the missing piece of the jigsaw? What does he do exactly? Based on what others say:

He's comfortable on the ball
He works hard
Has box to box qualities
Aggressive in the tackle
Has leadership qualities
Not overly creative (could improve)
Decent in a holding role

Doesn't sound shabby.  There's a Willie Gannon article on Sandro that includes such statements as:

'dynamic midfielder'
'holding midfielder - his primary role for Inter where he has been destructive'
'initiates his team’s many attacks with his penetrating runs through midfield'
'simplistic style /rarely gives the ball away'

Again, doesn't sound too shabby at all. But once more, these are opinions which you may or may not trust as they are words of others rather than something you've witnessed with your own eyes. But leaps of faith is what we take with imported players. And Sandro, Brazilian U20 captain (I think), does appear to have some substance to the hype.

As far as the centre of the park is concerned, he appears to offer more dimensions to his play than our other current options. The key quality being leadership. I might look him up on Youtube. After being burnt by the Rebrov and Postiga collections the last time I dared venture was to see clips of a certain Bulgarian. So perhaps the internet doesn't always lie.

I do like his attitude in print. To quote the man: "I don't want to speak too much about this but I am ready to move to Europe. I am convinced my style will suit a team that favours an attacking approach."

He seems confident of his abilities. And the Internacional fans also seem to like him where it matters most, on the pitch and on the terraces:

"Sandro scores the goals, Sandro scores the goals, Sandro scores the goals, so we will give him a cow, and he will milk it" 

We might need to re-work that for the Park Lane. Don't ask me about the cow. I haven't got a clue.

So for now, we wait. The press are making various assumptions about price (ranging from £6M to the original/traditional £16M figure). There's the issue rights/ownership, which if you remember ruined our chances of signing Diego several years ago. His club claim he's not leaving, then we read about how the deal is progressing. Sit back, and hold onto your hats.

How do you solve the conundrum of David Bentley?

Where do we even start on this one? Let's go back to the beginning.

There is no shadow of a doubt that at the time David Bentley fitted into the Tottenham criteria as a big-money summer signing.

Player of the moment
Much hyped
England International
Poster boy

With Robbie Keane leaving for Liverpool, we knee-jerked (as we've always done) and spunked £15M on a player that arguably was signed to fill a gap. Just not the one out on the left side. The reason we are perpetual pretenders and usually perpetual perpetual pretenders is because we have a track record of signing superfluous (I love that word) players who are more style than substance. They look the part but don't offer enough strength or intent and in this particular case did not complement what we already had. He simply wasn't needed from the perspective of logic. But then when have we ever done logic? We did once upon a time, but thanks to our revenue, we have always been able to sign the player people expect us to sign rather than the player we desperately need. Although things have changed post-Director of Football.

So, in he came. To his boyhood club. Ex-gooner? We can forgive and forget for that minor indiscretion. But it's here the conundrum begins. He's signed for 15 big ones when he's probably only really worth half of that. He's all smiles, star-jumping, loving it at Spurs, well up for the season. We thrash Roma (I told everyone at the time to keep their panties on, but most wouldn't listen) and he stars. Pre-season is a blast and as far as he's concerned he's the new Beckham in the making. Which is where the conundrum begins to eat away at him.

Bentley, for all the glam and show-boating off the field is a fragile almost glass structure of a man in reality. Easily broken. And it didn’t take long for him to smash into thousands of pieces. Mainly thanks to two points from eight games. Ramos out. Harry in. His form was all over the shop. And Lennon's re-birth was under way. That's Lennon - signed for £1M. That's Lennon, yoof investment that plays on the right-wing. See that Spurs logic? Two right-wingers, neither can truly play on the opposite wing or anywhere else effectively (although Lennon through the middle has worked on occasions) so if one plays, the other won't ever get a look in. There's no scope for mixing it up.

We had that goal in the 4-4 but it failed to disguise the obvious. Bentley was a man playing football from memory of how football should be played if you wanted to be seen as the new Becks. Everything was a show-boat or flick or attempted bullet-turning-corners-in-the-air pass. Nothing was basic. Nothing was simple. His form continued to degrade. With Azza tearing it up, there was no reason to even consider Bentley for the right wing. Yet he still found time to kick balls off roofs into skips.

At this point, possibly, not sure - it might have always been there but only manifested because of the pressure of football…David cited 'personal problems' for his lack of form. Are these problems because of his form or is there something outside of football bringing him down? Not our business tbh, I'm not going to speculate. Either way, the club and people around him should support him. As for the fans, well, we are fickle lot. In some ways, we see footballers as commodities, representatives of our club and demand 100% because they're millionaires thanks to people like us and blah blah blah. But the moaning and groaning and the internet-slating was completely in full effect. As ever, because of the weight of expectation - everyone was losing patience. And David continued to lose all hope.

In the summer, we had an alleged interview which was apparently conducted without the player knowing he was being interviewed (nice under-hand tactics there by the reporter) which IMO would deem it completely void of importance as anyone can be mis-quoted in this cheap shot way. The suggestion was Bentley was looking for a move to Villa. And yet, he's still with us. Even after his car crash. A wake-up call apparently, that doesn't appear to have made a difference with his quality of football. And why should it? We don't even have a reserve team for him to play in. His quality remains distinctly average. Which is what you expect from a player who appears lost and without direction.

Not  playing games will do little to increase interest in him and his value will be nowhere near the £15M mark this time round if we are looking to sell him in Jan. He wasn't that bad against Utd the other night. Average yes, but not terrible. Just a disappointing, not helped by the fact that he had little to aim for when he crossed the ball in.

I'm not sure there's a way to solve this conundrum.  At the moment there are plenty of fans who still want him to succeed. Why would you not? He obviously has the talent to do so. But he's sadly the right player for the wrong team. If Lennon didn't exist, he might well be dominating the right-wing for us. There is no room for him at Spurs. He's a Lego brick sitting in amongst a jigsaw puzzle.

A move away would reignite him, for sure. It's the way football tends to work. He'll go somewhere and the pressure wont be as harsh and relentless and he'll re-discover his spark.

It's time for goodbye. Just a quick hug. How do you solve this conundrum? You don't. You just hand it over to someone else and admit defeat.

Won't someone please think of the children?

Anyone watch the Carling Cup coverage (Sky Sports) between City and the foetus collective? Platt (commentating), bless him, did his utmost to protect the lickle children running around in diapers (outside the comfort of their home play-den) against the unfair giant uber-experienced strong old old men of Manchester City, including the rather ancient Tevez and his zimmer frame. When they made it 3-0 Platt started to bleat on about how City were always going to win if they took the initiative because, in essence, they had enough to defeat a team of kids. Although Arsenal did play pretty football in the first half. Which is a commodity valued higher than silverware these days. You don't win anything with kids. Well, not with this lot. Eleven kids. Well, actually a team that included four kids and a collection of first team players. That's four kids. Some of which have Champions League experience. But still, kids. It's almost half the starting line-up okay, so give it a rest! It was practically an academy side, ffs. Ok?

Never quite understood how this is meant to work though. Is it okay for kids to play and defeat lesser sides and be proclaimed brilliant/genius/amazing but if they happen to lose against stronger opposition, it's expected and the opposition have sort of indirectly cheated by including 'experienced' players? Doesn't it mean they're just decent young players who are not quite ready for proper football just yet? Seems Wenger continues to embrace this perpetual youth dynasty to ready them for the future by playing them in the CC, yet still throws his toys out the pram when they get dicked. Isn't that part of the learning curve then? And if so, why be so utterly classless in defeat? In addition, if they're that good, why mixed up the line-up with more experienced players? Why not just play a fully strength side and, I don't know, have a day out at Wembley, win something perhaps. It's still a cup. No matter how devalued and insignificant it appears to have become to the 'big clubs'.

No sign either of the Wilshire super-show (I was advised to tune in by a gooner mate and droll) we get when they play < insert Championship team here > at home? Where? Where was it? Ah, don't matter. Just fooling around. There's always next season. When the kids grow up they'll be world beaters. For sure. When they grow up. Them and Peter Pan. Although Wilshire is already showing sublime mannerisms of a textbook Arsenal player, what with the mouthing off and moaning and dirty play.

Then we witness Wenger (he's free to shake hands with whoever he wants) disappearing down the tunnel ignoring a waving Mark Hughes. And why should he even bother hanging around anyway? How very dare City score three goals past his team. Outrageous. But again, understandable. Because City have more experience (key word that). Which equates to fielding a more structured effective balanced side for the occasion. Which helps win games. A lesson we harshly learnt last night when our kids (bite me - our mixture of first teamers and over-rated fringe players) lost to Utd's kids + Gary Neville. Point being, if you select a side that has no balance or strength then don't be so fucking shocked to lose.

Another golden moment in the coverage of the game was when Platt re-wrote history before our very eyes/ears. Arsenal - according to him - lost to Burnley in the semi-final of the Carling Cup last season. Honestly, they did, according to Platt. Season before, they beat Spurs 5-1 at White Hart Lane. Best-selling dvd down at the Emirates that. And people say I'm a melter for suggesting there's an ongoing conspiracy, and yet the vast majority of 'pundits' continue to gag on Top 4 meat. By the way: 3 defeats in a row, scored 0 conceded 7 (domestic games, for the pedants amongst you). Ask Platt and no doubt he'll confirm it's Barcelona's recent La Liga record.

Elsewhere, Robbo saves two pens to end Chelsea's run. It's really nice that these other London clubs are showing solidarity by crashing out the cup too leaving us not so lonely, scratching our heads with regret and bitterness.