Won't someone please think of the children?
Thursday, December 3, 2009 at 12:27AM
spooky in Carling Cup, Sky Sports, never never land, the scum

Anyone watch the Carling Cup coverage (Sky Sports) between City and the foetus collective? Platt (commentating), bless him, did his utmost to protect the lickle children running around in diapers (outside the comfort of their home play-den) against the unfair giant uber-experienced strong old old men of Manchester City, including the rather ancient Tevez and his zimmer frame. When they made it 3-0 Platt started to bleat on about how City were always going to win if they took the initiative because, in essence, they had enough to defeat a team of kids. Although Arsenal did play pretty football in the first half. Which is a commodity valued higher than silverware these days. You don't win anything with kids. Well, not with this lot. Eleven kids. Well, actually a team that included four kids and a collection of first team players. That's four kids. Some of which have Champions League experience. But still, kids. It's almost half the starting line-up okay, so give it a rest! It was practically an academy side, ffs. Ok?

Never quite understood how this is meant to work though. Is it okay for kids to play and defeat lesser sides and be proclaimed brilliant/genius/amazing but if they happen to lose against stronger opposition, it's expected and the opposition have sort of indirectly cheated by including 'experienced' players? Doesn't it mean they're just decent young players who are not quite ready for proper football just yet? Seems Wenger continues to embrace this perpetual youth dynasty to ready them for the future by playing them in the CC, yet still throws his toys out the pram when they get dicked. Isn't that part of the learning curve then? And if so, why be so utterly classless in defeat? In addition, if they're that good, why mixed up the line-up with more experienced players? Why not just play a fully strength side and, I don't know, have a day out at Wembley, win something perhaps. It's still a cup. No matter how devalued and insignificant it appears to have become to the 'big clubs'.

No sign either of the Wilshire super-show (I was advised to tune in by a gooner mate and droll) we get when they play < insert Championship team here > at home? Where? Where was it? Ah, don't matter. Just fooling around. There's always next season. When the kids grow up they'll be world beaters. For sure. When they grow up. Them and Peter Pan. Although Wilshire is already showing sublime mannerisms of a textbook Arsenal player, what with the mouthing off and moaning and dirty play.

Then we witness Wenger (he's free to shake hands with whoever he wants) disappearing down the tunnel ignoring a waving Mark Hughes. And why should he even bother hanging around anyway? How very dare City score three goals past his team. Outrageous. But again, understandable. Because City have more experience (key word that). Which equates to fielding a more structured effective balanced side for the occasion. Which helps win games. A lesson we harshly learnt last night when our kids (bite me - our mixture of first teamers and over-rated fringe players) lost to Utd's kids + Gary Neville. Point being, if you select a side that has no balance or strength then don't be so fucking shocked to lose.

Another golden moment in the coverage of the game was when Platt re-wrote history before our very eyes/ears. Arsenal - according to him - lost to Burnley in the semi-final of the Carling Cup last season. Honestly, they did, according to Platt. Season before, they beat Spurs 5-1 at White Hart Lane. Best-selling dvd down at the Emirates that. And people say I'm a melter for suggesting there's an ongoing conspiracy, and yet the vast majority of 'pundits' continue to gag on Top 4 meat. By the way: 3 defeats in a row, scored 0 conceded 7 (domestic games, for the pedants amongst you). Ask Platt and no doubt he'll confirm it's Barcelona's recent La Liga record.

Elsewhere, Robbo saves two pens to end Chelsea's run. It's really nice that these other London clubs are showing solidarity by crashing out the cup too leaving us not so lonely, scratching our heads with regret and bitterness.

Article originally appeared on Dear Mr Levy (http://dml23.squarespace.com/).
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