Favourites v Underdogs

I've seen quite a few of us referencing the fact we are being perceived as favourites in the North London Derby. That's both the media and the fans believing Spurs have it done and dusted on paper and that it should easily translate on the field of play. I'd agree that our midfield is superior to theirs. I'd also cite the fact their defence plays out to the tune of the Keystone Cops.

They still possess quality (RvP) of the match-winning ilk. But so do we, in abundance, and we are on a roll (three wins on the trot). And we're at home. But then the self-doubt (it never goes away) gently reminds us that we don't tend to do well when expected to do well. We do better when we have less pressure weighing us down. Also, in a NLD, form goes out the window and effort can sometimes match the stronger opposition. Although in our case, that still meant no win against the old enemy for many years. Until recently.

It's almost role reversal this. Arsenal are Tottenham in red and white, whilst Tottenham are the Tottenham we have worked so had to become after 15 years in the wilderness. But still prone to the odd lapse. Major differences? We strengthened in the summer and retained our top players. They lost their top players and signed less than glamorous replacements. You can see why they are regarded as underdogs. They choke more than we do.

Still, there's hardly anything between both sides these days, except perhaps for Wenger and his experience at the very top level and the fact his side have always been at that level, even when others have suggested a 'crisis' or transition.

On paper? We should win. On the field of play? Honestly? I'll be very shocked if Arsenal can show their past seasoned focus and intensity (and desire) considering their form and their fragmented team, punctured with the ordinary and average in amongst the class. I'll be disappointed if we are the ones to choke and allow them to best us. We have the more settled side. They're the ones who stand before us depleted. And yet the positivity is still not embraced.

Teams can always punch above their weight. We've done it many times in the past. Not to dismiss or write off Arsenal, but a pulsating powerful show of strength and unity in our midfield will consume theirs and allow our front-line to punish their back four. My only concern is RvP. Take him out of the equation and it will be the first time in my life-time that my heart will not dance to the beat of nerves. He'll play, which means there are no underdogs or favourites in this game. Not matter how you choose to use paper to prove a point.

There's simply a team that wants it more than the other. I'm obviously going to claim that team is the team in Lilywhite. I hope the players wearing the shirt believe in the shirt as much as we do.

Embrace the positivity. Prove we're the favourites, prove we're the top dogs and let them bask in the indignity as the plucky underdog that tries ever so hard and gets nothing. Life is harsh. We've been at the end of it so many times in the past. It's time to give some of it back.

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Winners of John Crace's 'Vertigo' (original article here): Matt and @betambeau88 - congrats. Email me (use the contact form) your name and address.

DIY

Did you catch the Athletic Bilbao game? If so, you probably caught more of the game than I did. Making this is a platform for you to 'do it yourself' and write up your own thoughts on the game and let me know if I missed anything of consquence.

Uninspiring first half from the sounds of it, spent mostly in the kitchen, I managed to time my return into the living room to see us go a goal down. What I did witness looked lacklustre and without cohesion. I did however catch the second half (lucky me) which was a far more composed and controlled performance with plenty of direction and intent. Lennon and Bale flying down the flanks. Modric dictating. Two forwards scoring a goal a piece. Hedonistic.

I never place too much emphasis on pre-season friendly games for obvious reasons, but it was still enjoyable to see the team react positively. Talking of positive reactions, Luka got a very healthy mix of cheer and applause. If I was there, as previously cited, I'd have supported him because of the shirt he had on his back and the team he was playing for. Not sure I would have clapped my hands together and most definitely would not have been vocal about it. It's up to him to perform out of his skin once the season starts and claw back some of that genuine love we lost during this agonisingly boring summer of nothingness, punctured by his ungentlemanly quotes.

Still, it was okay that he got some cheers and applause by others more willing to sacrifice a little for the good of the club and the team. First step in moving on for everyone. Not literally moving on Luka. Don't get excited, West London you'll visit but only in Lilywhite colours.

Other footnotes from the game:

Pienaar injured.

Niko looking like a man holding his still beating broken heart, ripped out of his chest by fate. The look on him as he stood to take the penalty was touching on the tragic.

Lennon diving, poor show.

The Mexican wave. I'd take that over 'stand up if you hate <insert other North London club name here>' any day of the week.

Llorente's 'alright' performance. Disappointed that Levy didn't race on at the final whistle with a contract between his teeth, holding hands with Adebayor and Samba whilst watched on by Diarra in the stands, wolf-whistling his approval.

442 is better than 4411.

Harry Redknapp laughing in an interview before kick-off re: lack of transfer activity. Personally think for once he was covering up the fact that Spurs are probably balls deep in negotiations. Yes, I'm still banging that drum of hope.

Knock yourselves out with your write-ups.

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Love the Shirt.

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Glory Glory

Not a lot going on at the minute, other than The Guardian building up insane twitter hype about a massive announcement only to reveal an article about how Inter were set to bid for Bale (£40M) in the summer. Someone should have a word that if they want to get involved in the ITK community waltz they need to take it one transfer window at a time.

Anyways, no Stratford article today (I'm not a machine). Instead, visual emotive stuff drenched in sentimentality.

That's how I roll.

Thanks to Nutter-Naylor.

If Stratford Hotspur happens, it ends there...

Guest blog by Jack aka tehTrunk.

Yes hello, you may remember me, I was the bloke what done them little cartoon things with the voices and stuff. I'm here today in a different capacity, to share my thoughts on the eerily quiet new stadium goings on at Stra...Tottenham Hotspur. I say quiet, but thankfully Karen Brady's constant barking does serve some purpose, if only in reminding us of the fact that we could well, genuinely, be leaving not just White Hart Lane but Tottenham itself.

Yeah, this could actually happen. WTF OMG?!!1! (I'm writing on the internet, it's allowed (lol))

Now, I'm not from Tottenham, I don't even live in North London. My allegiance with Spurs is the age old father son connection familiar with many football fans. You know, when dad creeps into your bedroom at night, gagging you with an Arsenal scarf in order to play hide the magic banana? Since those days, anything bearing the cannon of them lot down the road turns my stomach and reminds me of those mornings where I'd have to swagger into school like a cowboy. This then reminds me of cowboys which I also hate (I always preferred Indians). Suffice to say that sitting through Brokeback Mountain was a nightmare.

Alas, I digress.

Where was I?

Oh yes, I support Tottenham but I'm not from Tottenham, there we go.

These recent mutterings that we could be leaving Tottenham to take up residence in the Millennium Dome (er Olympic Stadium mate?!)have created a strange and uncomfortable conflict within my thoughts, much like when I catch a glimpse of Niko Kranjcar. As I've already covered but will tell you again, Tottenham isn't my home, the team Tottenham Hotspur isn't my local team so why should I care where the team plies it's trade? I don't know really, but I do.

History has always been an important part of this club, given that during the years I've supported them there has been little success, but it's been instilled into me that this is a club with heritage, with tradition. I'm sure most clubs think this way, but we support Spurs, we don't care what myths other clubs supporters perpetuate amongst themselves. We're onto a new chapter now, who knows where it goes. I'm enjoying, while it lasts, us grabbing headlines and having a squad filled with world class players, but this isn't why I support Spurs.

We all know about our cup runs, and double heroics and European glory glory nights so I'll save the maudlin mush.

Football is a business (no sheet Sherlock). It's easy to say, but it's hard to grasp what this actually means. Business' exist to make money. The chairmen, the board, they don't care about you, they don't care about me (they should care about me, I'm awesome. Not you though. D*ckhead) Does the CEO of McDonalds care that your burger doesn't look like it does in the picture on the board?

Daniel Levy is a business man. Don't ever forget that. For all his 'Spurs fan' talk, he's a business man. He's not big Dan from down the pub who wears a Spurs shirt on match days and gets asked to leave the pub when he's had a few too many and is getting loud sweary cross and scaring the couple who just popped in for an ale and glass of house white after finishing shopping, whilst he watches Spurs lose to Wolves at home (all in 3D mind). Levy, and the people surrounding him want to make money. This isn't all a bad thing, money has allowed us to assemble the squad we see before us today. Moving to the Olympic Stadium makes perfect business sense.

It's cheaper than building an entirely new stadium. It has a massive capacity. It looks well nice so will entice new fans. Having a massive, well nice stadium increases the club's prestige both at home and abroad. This will see a rise in the attendance, fan base and the type of investors and players we can attract to the club. Maybe it'll even see us become a more attractive option to a super mega rich foreign owner, who'll buy us Messi and we can win everything and be the best team in the world and even make it onto Sky Sports montages and have our players pictured on the front of the packets of football stickers found on the newsagent's counter.

Spurs, nay, football in general is entering into a dangerously vacuous and shallow era. This potential move to Stratford is a perfect example of that. Forget the history, forget about the locals, forget the name, we're going to move. We'll be Stratford Hotspur, it'll be just the same just we'll make more money and maybe win more stuff and then football will be more better, honest. Yeah, worked well for Wimbledon. 

You can scream at me until you're blue faced, the endless clichés that 'we have to do it to compete', 'we want to win stuff what with City getting better now', 'Liverpool will bounce back sooner or later'. I don't care. I didn't support Spurs because they competed, because they were amazing, I support Spurs because they're Spurs. Sacrificing what we are in order to get to what we perceive is a higher level is like the bloke who ditches all his ugly best mates because he wants to be more popular with women. He's a lonely, boring, desperate tool and everyone can see it but him.

I know my thoughts don't represent those of all Spurs fans, and I don't look down on anyone for feeling differently (I really do to be honest). I just see this as one of many examples of how appalling our society is now. It's like saying that I think my mum is fat and ugly and I want a new one with less droopy wangers that way it'll reflect better on me and then I'll be happier. I don't think you're fat and ugly by the way Mummy, Trunky wuvs woo.

If Stratford Hotspur happens, it ends there for me. FC Hotspur of Tottenham or whoever else likely pops up it'll be. You can take your Gareth Bales, VDVs and whoever else and shove them. Along with your reality TV, IKEA furniture, tabloid newspapers, celebrities, Thomas Cook holidays and most of all your Sky Sports.

If all of you told Levy where he could stick his plan, it wouldn't happen, fact. But you won't.

Think on. 

Be sure to visit We are N17 for your anti-Stratford fix and latest news. You can also find them on Twitter and Facebook.

Previous Stratford/N17 articles by Spooky:

N17: Home is where the heart is

A nail in the coffin of Stratford?

For some, it's a brutal interrogation...

For some, it's a brutal interrogation. For others an itch that can be easily scratched

Stratford. It’s been discussed to death, then gets resuscitated and has the life sucked out of it once more before being dragged out of its shallow grave and throttled for just around the hundredth time. For some, it's a brutal interrogation. For others an itch that can be easily scratched.

It’s unlikely to change any time soon. Even with Boris rubber stamping the N17 project. I'll ignore the finer details of the various approval stages and clarity on funding until a later time when we know more. And I'll humour the prospect of East London because Levy believes its plausible even though others would suggest it would never be allowed to happen.

Humour on we go.

Spurs fans are split over the arguments for and against moving. Financially and in terms of progress, moving there makes sense if you take into account the avoidance of huge potentially crippling debt. A new chapter, same club, new area. The identity of the club is the fans so no matter where we stand or sing there won't be too much bother, right?

Well, no possibly wrong. Because philosophically it irks many of us considering the abuse aimed at Arsenal for their nomadic journey from South London to North London, renaming Gillespie Road etc etc. Football for many transcends corporate hospitality.

Let's have a sing-a-long...

"North London is ours North London is oooooooours, **** off back to Woolwich, North London is ours" - sang to the tune of Beach Boys / Sloop John B

...for how much longer we'll have to wait and see.

Might be just five miles down the road from N17 (doesn't look far at all when viewed on google maps)  the traditionalists do not want to lose what they define as the clubs identify which is something that over time can quite possibly happen. Hypothetically, the next generation or two of Spurs fans will be born into a club that resides in East London and may well never know anything different. The sentiment here is – we are Tottenham. And the very essence of any club is where the club is even if most of us travel into the area and don't actually live there.

If West Ham left their current location the same identity make over would happen to them over time. Upton Park sits in an unwelcoming area which still provides character and provokes an atmosphere. At least it does when we visit. Although that might still happen if they moved into the Olympic Stadium and we visited Stratford instead. But I'll hazard a guess that it will be far less moody. In fact it wont be the same thing at all. But then going to the Emirates rather than Highbury hasn't changed the match-day buzz and hatred. But then they haven't actually moved out of their squat attachment area. Just up the road into a new swamp.

Is five miles East up the road?

These types of non-associations to revenue increase intricateness are the anchors to our tribal instincts. It's the stuff some would render irrelevant to progression and ample for sacrifice. Time and its annoying way of changing stuff, the interfering SOB. Football is forever changing and compared to the 1980's it's changed massively from terraces to CCTV to all seaters to family sections and executive boxes.

And this is where it gets messy. People’s perception of what defines a club is varied from one to the next. Traditionalists versus new agers. Tottenham’s history will never be in doubt. That can never be altered and will always be spoken about and remembered and past on from father to son. But the unity of fans at our club still remains strong and I hardly feel like I'm detached from the majority (even though there are plenty of head-shaking moments).

So, five miles? Okay, so you don't need to live or be born in Tottenham to claim the supporting bloodline so the new agers will argue that it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things and that the club and the fans are far stronger in spirit than a location/area and it's geographical importance. So if the Spurs landscape was to change then it would be no different to what has happened with Arsenal. You know, that thing with Arsenal. You know it right? The thing with the south and the move and renaming and stuff.

I personally have no idea if anyone in Woolwich or South London support or perceive Arsenal as their club considering they’ve moved. I doubt it. It's been along time. I do know Spurs and one or two others were not happy with them shifting desperately into North London. And it sort of turns my stomach to think that had they remained in South London, would all of their North London based fans have supported...nah, let’s not go there.

White Strat Lane

What about the national stadium? Wembley is North London, right? It's not been discussed as an option for ages because it's not an option. If we did move there – would you be happy with it? Geographically you would argue that Stratford is closer to our current home, so back to the question of whether we are all getting dizzy over the semantics of location and the name of said location?

We’re Tottenham, we’re North London, we sing it in songs, we remind our neighbours about it – in fact it’s the reason our neighbours are rivals and enemies. Perhaps if we moved to Stratford, in thirty years time, West Ham will be considered our main rivals (easy there Spammers, it's still 30 years off and it's theoretical so stick the champagne back into the ice bucket) because of the bitterness caused by moving onto their patch. Whilst over in North London, Arsenal are sat there on their own, Billy-no-mates. Doubtful of course that many many decades of hatred would be dismissed because of a five mile move. But one or two new songs will be birthed, for and against, by our fans and rival fans. And over time, priorities of hatred will probably change. But then we shouldn't be defining ourselves on who hates us. Who cares? But the point is - the club (five miles or not) will change at various fundamental levels which are dismissive to some but imperative to others.

These (dare I say) little things are important to many and outweigh the current obsessions with financial clout and branding and this relentless objective to expand and turn into footballing beast. Which is hardly a little thing. We need a 60,000 (more or less) ground.

Am I doing a good job of illustrating confliction of the soul?

I don’t think Stratford will be handed over to us if we wanted it any ways. I'd be shocked. Riots on the streets and such. Levy planting a flag on the site of the Olympic Stadium whilst chased by Sullivan and Gold and Brady who are throwing jellied eels and mash in his direction, foaming at mouth.

Haringey are blatantly taking the mick, as you would expect, with Levy in terms of using us to regenerate the area with our money as they appear to have no available monies to do the job themselves. Politics at play. Feasibility it seems on paper is winning the battle to remain ahead of matters of the heart. £460M is potentially crippling, as mentioned many times already - by fans and club.

And the club has to move forward, because it's not certain we can do it standing still?

So what do we do?

I don’t know.

What I do know is; there is an immediate necessity to reshape the club’s progression to maximise revenue in-order to remain competitive and appease the thousands waiting for season ticket availability and fans who wish to hold onto the past with what makes it special to be a Tottenham fan who do not want the foundations dug up and replaced with new building blocks of identity. We fear change. And those little things discussed surrounding rivalries, generational associations and geographic history - they matter.

Unfortunately suggestions that we should re-look at perhaps slowly rebuilding WHL, a stand at a time, are not considered viable. And remaining at a standstill would equate to stagnation.

This should not feel like being stuck between a rock and a hard place.

A nail in the coffin of Stratford?

N17: Home is where the heart is

Exercise or play sport regularly? Join Spurs legend Graham Roberts and tell Arthritis Research UK about your experiences of sports pain or injuries: painoutofsport.org



Tottenham Hotspur White Hart Lane Survival Kit

Going to the Lane for another feast of swashbuckling football? Got your replica kit on and packed your Muller Rice? Don’t forget your pocket money for that pre-match burger and match day programme. Come on you Spurs! But if it’s your first time and you’re concerned you might not quite fit into the North London ambiance then don’t fret. This compact guide will make sure you’re up to speed on exactly how to blend into the multitude of white and blue inside the ground and then stand out as a genuine balls deep loyal Spurs supporter who goes to every game!

So a massive welcome to the survival kit that will guide you through the perfect WHL experience. Up the Spurs!

Arrival

Turn up ten minutes before kick-off and get yourself a cheeky bottle of beer to quench your thirst. Don’t worry about missing the opening exchanges, it takes time for both teams to settle and you can always catch the action on the various television sets available inside the stand or read a match report after the game and base your appraisals and criticisms on that (good idea is to Sky+ Match of the Day to make sure you have all the talking points covered for Monday at work).

Kick-off

When you get to your seat start singing. Don’t worry too much about having to learn countless chants before the game as there are only two songs to memorise. Follow what the other fans are doing by slowly singing with arms aloft and fingers dancing. If you’re in the South Stand make sure you participate in the in-game entertainment with the stewards. When they say sit, get your bum on the seat and the moment they walk on by you stand. Game lasts for a good 30 minutes. So with 15 minute left of the half get yourself down back into the stand for another beer and watch the reminder of the game on one of the television sets.

At any given moment inspire the team by singing ‘Stand up if you hate Arsenal’.

Half-time

Enjoy another beer and chat amongst mates. Wait until the second half kicks off then go to the toilet. There should be a massive queue, but that’s okay. Watch the game on one of the television sets as you wait. Then once inside the toilet area, if you’ve forgotten your cigarettes it’s no problem, just breathe in the air around you and exhale. Use one of the cubicles if you want to p*ss on the floor then get yourself another sneaky beer before returning to your seat.

Second-half

If you don’t know what’s going on in terms of performance, just make sure you shout abuse for any one of these players, even if they’re not playing: Jermaine Jenas, Peter Crouch, David Bentley, William Gallas, Robbie Keane. Other fans will know you know your football inside out and give you deserved respect with an accompanying nod and smile.

Inspire the team by singing ‘Stand up if you hate Arsenal’.

If we score, celebrate and tell everyone ‘I told you so’. If we concede use any one of these shouts to berate the goal:

“F*cking useless Jenas”*
“F*ck off Jenas”
“For fucks sake Jenas”
“JJ you’re sh*t”

*replace Jenas with one of the aforementioned players, i.e. Bentley, Keane to suit the occasion.

If there is no goal mouth action or if there is a lull in the game, make sure you keep yourself interested by shouting out :

“F*cking useless Jenas”*
“F*ck off Jenas”
“For fucks sake Jenas”
“JJ you’re sh*t”

Remember, it’s okay to slate a player and then celebrate when said player scores. They owe you. And it’s thanks to the abuse that they’ve reacted positively.

Inspire the team by singing ‘Stand up if you hate Arsenal’.

Full-time

If  we fail to win this means it’s the managers fault due to lack of movement on bench/shouting/substitutions and he’s therefore not good enough. Cite Martin Jol.

When the final whistle has actually blown make sure to confirm we’ve drawn or lost by listening to car radios as you walk down the High Road or by checking the BBC live reports via 3G on your smart-phone. If you’ve remained at or inside the ground use one of the following actions to illustrate your disapproval:

- Last season’s booklet season ticket + a book of matches. Light up the booklet then throw onto the pitch. Make sure to foam at mouth and tell everyone around you that Harry has to go and that Crouch is a donkey.

- String up an effigy and tell the stewards ‘there used to be a football club here’.

- Reference the ‘dark days’ and say the club is going backwards and the sooner Harry is out the better.

- Boo at the referee but with the knowledge that it will kill two cockerels with one stone by also being interpreted as a boo for the players trudging off the pitch. Which they deserve if there has been a failure to capture the three points, what with you paying £50 for ninety minutes of depressive one dimensional football. They're not paid 40k a week to disappoint and experience blips. It's outrageous. Throw your wallet at a steward who asks you to calm down and inform him 'There you go, this club has bled me dry and has given me nothing back, I have nothing now'. Tell the officer leading you away he's a protector of the fascist bourgeoisie that want to replace true fans with neutral families who dislike a bit of a passion and colourful language and strong tribal instinctive reactions.

Remember, if you are seated in the West Stand under stadium regulations, you must leave at the 80 minute mark. Fans in other parts of the ground should stand within a metre of the exits watching the closing minutes of the game on the tv sets allowing for a quick getaway in order to claim a choice seat on the bus/train/tube home. If a goal is scored, run back in the direction of the stand and join in. If you’re urinating at the time, make sure you celebrate but remember – if there are others standing by your side at the urinals, do not cross the streams.

Post-game

Draw up a mental list of replacement managers and new players and start planning your on-line rant for when you hit the forums cursing the lack of ingenuity from the team, unless we won the game where in this case you should reference the top 4 and how great we are and that we will finish in a CL position again.

COYS.



Still buzzing...

The promised land. It took us years of wandering around in circles, lost and confused, before we found it and now having done so we've just gone ahead and stuck a massive flag in the centre, opened a deck-chair and sat puffing out smoke nonchalantly from a massive joint.

“Is it cause I’m Tottenham?”

No matter our faults, no matter the naivety displayed in prior CL games, no one can take away the fact that we are born entertainers, refreshing and rampant. Ladies and gentlemen. We’ve clicked. In the pulsating atmosphere in N17, we stepped up a gear and went from learning curve virgins to master-class sex gods.

Stunning, staggering, immense, epic...the superlatives won’t drown you - you’ll be floating on top of them, out-stretched, hands behind head basking in the glorious sun thanks to the glory glory night where boys became men became giants. And so be it if it was just for the one night only.

Someone said to me that I would have trouble writing up a concise report on the game. And to be honest, I've struggled. Mainly because I was going to report on the game much like most other reports and just found myself repeating most of those aforementioned glittering superlatives that the Tottenham nation are today rejoicing in. You’d think only Bale was on the pitch with the coverage our young cyclone stud is getting. Coverage he deserves for destroying Inter over three halves of football. But everyone at the game, in pubs, watching at home, abroad in the early hours - will have witnessed the rather magnificent bravado and confidence of the other men in Lilywhite who defended and counter attacked as part of the devastation.

Even when the Italian club pinged the ball about in possession, reminding us of their quality (Eto’o with a stunning sway and shot and goal too), we didn’t fold under pressure and neither did we betray our traditions. 2-1? Sit back? Nah guv, let’s get the ball down their end again. Notch a third. End them.

Special night, outstanding in so many ways (not least the noise made inside the ground). And the noise made by everyone's reaction to the manner of their dismantlement. I have no time for anyone who dares suggest this was Inter not paying us due respect and being tormented for it. They didn’t underestimate our quality pre-match regardless of the first half back in the San Siro. They simply couldn’t live with a Spurs side that dared to do and dictate. They had a few players missing, didn’t they? Well, so did we.

The movement, the focus and determination. The relentless work ethic and self-belief. Harry and his bullish soldiers defending home soil and banishing the invaders back across the waters. Taxis no doubt parked outside in waiting, no tips, other than next time perhaps assign Leonidas King of Sparta and 300 Spartans to man-mark Bale.

If you place the 'modest down to earth with out of this world ability' Gareth to one side re: Man of the Match there are several candidates you could otherwise award it to. Testament to everyone at the club. The perfect shift. Because without that team unity and desire, giving the ball to Bale would have accounted for very little if we were bypassed in midfield and leaking goals at the back.

So yes, struggling I am to write a concise report. Think most of us are still living it. Instead I’m going to take a look back at a few things from the match preview for the Inter game (a tidy letter to Daniel Levy) addressing one or two statements made.

> We lack that bit of extra something with regards to testicular fortitude.

We choked against Young Boys then dug deep, momentarily collapsed away to Bremen and then froze like rabbits in headlights before we recovered in the Giuseppe Meazza stadium. We’ve been waiting for this Spurs side to click not just in structure and backbone but in strategy and professionalism. Sure, it’s refreshing the way we go about learning our lessons in our debut season and we’re entertainers. The miseries on The Sunday Supplement said we were just having ‘fun’. No more. Now we are deadly serious. Mature and fearless in a game we were not expected to win. Testicular fortitude? Oh yes. Hopefully  we’ve got some spare for Saturdays game against Bolton.

> We are what, 30%, 20% away from it clicking into place and working. The players we do possess for selection at the time of writing are more than capable of waking up and shaking themselves into the mentally powerful frame of mind - as seen last term in the push for fourth. We have it in us which is what's so frustrating. I don't buy all this 'Spurs over-extended themselves last season' nonsense. We fought for it. We need some of that fight back in abundance. And goals. Plenty of goals.

Two points here. We proved – even with missing injured players and with the apparent need to add two or three brand new players to the squad – we can find the resolve to compete against the very top top side in Europe (ignoring its Rafa deficiency). And it’s now time for the players to find this type of ethic every week, regardless of the opposition. van der Vaart said in his post-game interview ‘it’s only a game, it’s only three points’ or words to similar effect. That’s the right attitude. Let us – the fans – dance naked in the streets whilst they go back to work and do it all again next time round. Are we over-extending again? Or are we making the gradual step up to that next level? The latter. Obviously.

> We have to reclaim the swagger. Not give a f*ck about the opposition in terms of respect. Turn the tempo up.

It wasn’t outlandish swagger, more controlled and respectful. I guess showing no respect to Inter could have proved to be suicidal. But we cared not to weigh up the opposition and wait for them to settle. We took the game to them and scored a gem of an opener. I can still see Luka with his key, unlocking the door, and sending Rafael gate-crashing through. Don’t underestimate the quality of that goal. It was brilliant. Tempo duly turned up. Pace of the game not full throttle EPL thunder, but a notch up from the usual slow-paced CL football.

> Don't be afraid. Don't hold back. Play emotive sweeping football and play too our strengths. Retain possession, do not concede early, hassle them in midfield and please for the love of all things Lilywhite - be clinical in and around the box. The home crowd will have to play their part in all this too.

The Lane rocked. The midfield rocked with it. Really cannot say anything more than f**king brilliant re: our midfield. Huddlestone is vital to the side. Look up the stats, I’m certain we win more with him in the side than when he doesn’t play. Even when van der Vaart failed to appear in the second half, Jenas – of all players – was industrious. Matching the rest of his team-mates. Nobody was letting anyone down. Everyone with a job to do. Everyone with their fight face on.

> Momentum from this game if we win it could prove to be priceless. And you must agree, January will be easier to do business if we are heading towards the knock-out stages and sitting in 5th/4th.

As mentioned, we have to step it up in the Prem. I know that you don’t tend to play at the same level when facing the likes of West Ham or Wolves. But the quality of the opposing side shouldn’t matter if you do endeavour to push yourself to do your utmost to win. This attitude breeds winners. Few years back, had we beaten a top side, you’d say all this talk would be over-dramatic. But today? It’s part of the blueprint for the games ahead. We have it in us. We need to wave it about in everyone's face. Every week.

> Cudicini concentrate please. vdV might be back. Huddlestone also. Modric is on the verge of exploding into form. Bale has been contained in recent games so hopefully he'll adapt quickly with having to cope with fourteen men marking him. But if they do double up on him (or worse) then someone elsewhere on the pitch has an advantage if another someone else is quick enough to play that first someone in. Lennon continues to improve which is important.

> Concern about Kaboul in central defence who has that annoyance of switching off for a costly second far too often. Gallas still has to prove his worth to the side. Crouch will probably start, but call me crazy, I keep having visions of Pav doing very little other than being in the right place at the right time to plant the ball expertly into the net - something he can do. Does little else. But he has a habit of notching the goals.

Let's review. Player ratings, special mentions:

Cudicini - Corker of a save from the 'you're just a shit van der Vaart' free-kick. More confident in Gomes (even with his loopy meltdowns) but can't fault CC. Must feel great after the three he conceded in Italy. Far more assured.

Gallas – This is why he was signed. Commanding and in control aiding  the defence at all times.

BAE – He plays football like it's an inconvenience that needs to be worked though so it's got out of his way. ‘Oh, I’m on a football pitch for 90 minutes, fine then, I’ll just run down the minutes by getting involved’. He never looks fazed. Uber-cool. Defended and pushed forward superbly.

Kaboul – Really didn’t expect this. He’s shown us signs before but has let himself down, but not this time. Great effort and discipline on the night. Prone to mistakes, hope he eradicates them from his game. Could turn out to be a monster.

Hutton – Got done on the goal, or is that too harsh of a criticism considering it was Eto’o? Still think he struggles positionally. And with Lennon ahead of him I'd still prefer to see Corluka there. However, time, it can heal. Just look at Gareth. Hutton has masses of potential.

Lennon – With each passing game, he reclaims some of that lost form. Thought he was excellent. Now imagine Azza at full pelt on one wing and whatshisface on the other.

Huddlestone – Did not look out of place. The questions we (as a collective) ask about his ability and whether he can stamp his authority on a game, once more answered. A tireless solid performance. Vital to us. Might not have played the quarter-back role he's accustomed too, but that just shows his versatility.

Jenas – Quite obviously followed the gaffers instructions to the letter. Didn’t stop with the lung-busting when he came on.

vdV –Yet another goal at the Lane. Loving it. World class performer who has galvanised the side. Supreme touch. No culture of comfort at Spurs no more.

Crouch – Another European goal. It works. Let’s have more faith. He worked his socks off for us.

Pav – I stand by my words. He doesn’t appear to do much, but score. I’m not complaining.

Modric – This is the Luka we know. Was involved in everything, buzzing all over the pitch – effective and instrumental in both offensive duties (the pass for the opener) and defensively (interceptions and mixing it up in the midfield battle). Wanted the ball at all times and retained and recycled possession expertly.

Bale – The media have gone a bit loopy, haven’t they? Broadsheet journos equally so. I can’t wait for James Richardson’s Football Weekly and the patronising thoughts of Barry Glendenning on whether he thinks Bale got lucky again. Ooh. Bale is a beast. We knew that. Everybody now knows it. He’s going to get better. Scary, eh? Looks a level headed polite lad. Gotta love him. Destroyed Maicon. Destroyed the Champions of Europe. It's pure fantasy right before our eyes.

Harry – And he’s meant to not have any tactical astuteness. Delegator come good. Or we can just give the credit to Joe Jordan and Kevin Bond.

> Let's remember what this club is all about in terms of its traditions. We might not have a massive haul of silverware but if you take any random Bill Nicholson quote you'll have your answer in terms of what it means to be a Spurs fan. Glory. Even if said glory is 90 minutes in length.

> I want a performance. I want a statement of intent and end product. I want the emotion. I want the swashbuckle.

> My spine is tingling. My head buzzing. Rediscover yourself Tottenham. Want it. Shout out that you want it. Then prove that you want it. Then don't let anyone stop you from taking it. You'll get more than a cuddly toy for your endeavours.

Job done. Haters? Stick it up your bollix. You’ll never understand what it means to be part of this club.

> I want a DVD.

No DVD to be released. Gutted. But I’ll deal with it. When I close my eyes, I can't re-open them for ninety minutes.

Still buzzing.

COYS.



The Biggest Game in our History™...ever.

Champions League edition

Having missed the first leg when it was shown live, and then having to sit through the full coverage knowing the gory details of our Keystone indiscretion, well…it was far from being anywhere near an enjoyable 90 minutes. I sat uncomfortably, shifting around unable to stop myself from endless disapproving nodding of the head, gasping, tirades of swearing interspersed with the word 'unbelievable'. There was more face palming than Jean Luc Picard would do on a day that would have the Borg attack Federation outposts whilst Data experienced an identity crisis and the holo-decks malfunctioned. Again.

The opening 30 minutes were very much akin to the French film Irréversible, directed by Gaspar Noé. You know the one. Some of the most uneasy viewing you could possibly ever imagine having to endure. A tormenting battering and brutal penetration leaving a dejected body, physically and mentally destroyed on the ground. And that was just the football and Michael Dawson. Don't even get me started on the film and that scene in the underpass.

But unlike Monica Bellucci's character, we are not left for dead beyond recognition (can this blog post get any more bad taste? Yes it can, hold tight). We have been embarrassed, almost humiliated. It could have been far worse, but it wasn't, and 3-2 may as well be 1-0 to them, except it isn't because we have two away goals, so the advantage is with us. It has to be with us. How could we possibly not score at the Lane? Unless we get served up a lasagne the night before, hand delivered from the Marriott Hotel by David Dein. There is simply no excuse for anything less than a convincing victory and safe passage through to the gold-paved roads of the group stages.

Perhaps in the first game we underestimated the task ahead. I know many of us did when we heard the draw. It was the best draw we could have hoped for, but not anywhere near as easy as it looked on paper. But then, that's naivety on our part. I mean, it’s a team from Switzerland, no? How could they handle a 100mph EPL club? Handle them well they did. Artificial pitch? Yes it did have a slight influence on the game, the way the ball zinged and pinged around and the way our players failed to take to it. Wasn't so much a subconscious lapse because you could visibly see them panic and freeze. Our defenders slowed down to a snails pace whilst YB cut through us like a hot axe through a cockerel made entirely of butter. I guess we were unprepared, which is scandalous considering what's at stake, but it's happened and can never be changed, so redemption is with making sure it doesn't happen again.

The more you look back the more disparaged you will feel about our initial inability to cope with the occasion. It was a choke. A combination of Harry's heimlich manoeuvre, a couple of wasteful finishes by the hosts and Pav's scorcher saving the day.

And so onwards we go into the do or die game at the Lane. Lessons learnt. The biggest game in our history, ever. Failure would mean a distinct lack of DVD releases. No 'Barcelona 0 Spurs 1' diamond encrusted club shop exclusive. No special edition Opus with it's extra glossy CL chapter with players bum-slapping each other in the changing rooms whilst Bentley and JJ dunk Harry in the bath. No doubt, over in East London, the streets will be packed with people eating and drinking like it was the Coronation all over again, another glorious chapter in their history written, statues built etc etc. Sky Sports News would probably petition to have the day extended from twenty-four hours to forty-eight so they can enjoy running the same headline long into the night.

Screw all this.

COYS. To dare is to do stuff. Positive stuff. It's no exaggeration to say that simply being there, in the groups, will be monumental in terms of stature. Sure, it might turn out to be a seasons worth of adventures, but it's one I want to experience. To push on, the players need to want it just as much. No sympathetic apologetic dejection thank you very much. Leave all that boxed up sitting next to the Ark of the Covenant in some warehouse somewhere.

But this Spurs side doesn't dwell in the past. Harry has instilled an ethic that does not disappoint when our backs are up against it.

Let's get the potential injuries out the way first. Modric, dos Santos, Pav, Keane - all apparently no-go's. King should return and apparently so will Defoe. I have a feeling (I hope) the injury plight is not half as bad as it looks, Harry mind games, with our players rested rather than risked away to Stoke.

There's also question marks surrounding our lack of goals from forwards. But the season is but two games old. And even if we do have one or two key players missing, we have enough quality, on grass, at home, to do to the Young Boys what they did to us.

They are smart, they might  consider defending in numbers and counter-attacking. Frustrate us much like one or two managed last season. But do they have the class and belief to handle life outside of their plastic fantastic? The longer the game goes on with no goal then the more it will play on our minds, on the pitch and in the stands. This won't be easy. But then again the sheer noise the home faithful will make on the return of a glory glory night at the Lane, I can't think of anything better to settle the nerves of the players. YB have travelled to Turkey and won, so they won't be scared of the hallelujahs and drumming.

This is what it's all about. These types of pressures, expectations. Get use to it. The players should be loving the adrenalin rush. There's no hiding place. There is, but it's not an option. You either want it and go out and get it or you simply disappear into a dark corner and shake uncontrollably till you pass out. Everyone who isn't Lilywhite will want us to lose, more than ever. Embrace the hate. It means we're doing something right.

Early goal. An early goal will be perfect. I don't actually think they'll going to sit back, so I can't imagine them defending for 90 minutes. I reckon they will try to seek out an away goal positively knowing that if they succeed the game will open up for them because the pressure will be on us to try and claw something back. Which will leave them to be even more adventurous. If they do defend, then patience is key.

But worrying about the opposition is a wasteful exercise. Worrying about all the various possible scenarios that might play out  is equally wasteful. When Monica Bellucci is confronted in the underpass, how different things would have been had she pulled out a gun from her handbag and shot the bastard in the face.

See, we might have been caught short on their patch. But on home territory, under the floodlights, we'll be gripping firearms like bloodthirsty assassins, firing bullets, ripping flesh off the bone till all that’s left is dog food.

Harry made some astute changes in the first game. This time round, we'll be as full strength as selection will allow us. Meaning Huddlestone will start. King will bring some much required calm at the back. Then there's the Kraken. No turning to stone for young Gareth. Bale, the beast, the stud, the Dark Knight, the best left-sided left-winger in the country (What? Yes, I did just say that, f**k you if you don't agree).

It's time to step up again. It's the life we have chosen for ourselves. Step up and cut through them like a hot knife through Swiss chocolate. A white hot knife, in a room with the air con off and radiators on full whack. In fact, the chocolate is in the oven when the knife does the damage. I want to swim in their chocolate blood.

We have the opportunity to be a part of the elite and kick the ball around in their playground. I don't care about ifs and buts about us being out of our depth if we get there. What a load of boll*cks. I want this more than I want Jessica Alba tied and gagged in my basement.  

Get at them. Get at them the way we got at Man City, and get at them some more by finding the target, with no remorse. We've had far more tricky games recently. Far bigger tests of our guile and mentality. We didn't choke. I don't expect us to choke on Wednesday. I expect us to unzip and make them choke on us. Young Boys of Bern. We're going to hurt you. We're going to come from behind and beat you, beat you bad.

Ooh. Kenneth Williams would be proud.

COYFS. To dare is to f**king do.

White Hart Ashburton

Another Levy bombshell. Good or bad depending on whether you wish to get excited at this desperately early stage. How can a new ground possibly be bad I hear you ask? Make it into a replica of every new type of English stadium, soulless and detached. From the illustrations, its looking like a dome. Spurs are hosting some exhibitions as part of the consultation period. So locals and fans will be able to have a say. Although I doubt we could get them to change the design of the ground to something more practical, like this:

Now that's a proper football ground. But then the Germans know how to do football efficiently (booze, cheap season tickets, cracking atmospheres).

Click here for a press release (via the Hornsey Journal) that covers off the current plans for re-development.

And here's the first look at the prospective design and how we plan to shift away from White Hart Lane forever, and into the Virgin Media Dome, or whatever the fuck we plan to call it:

For the full technocolor pdf click on this link: http://www.tottenhamhotspur.com/uploads/assets/docstore/Booklet_Web.pdf

Groovy.