The Biggest Game in our History™...ever.
Monday, August 23, 2010 at 1:00PM Champions League edition
Having missed the first leg when it was shown live, and then having to sit through the full coverage knowing the gory details of our Keystone indiscretion, well…it was far from being anywhere near an enjoyable 90 minutes. I sat uncomfortably, shifting around unable to stop myself from endless disapproving nodding of the head, gasping, tirades of swearing interspersed with the word 'unbelievable'. There was more face palming than Jean Luc Picard would do on a day that would have the Borg attack Federation outposts whilst Data experienced an identity crisis and the holo-decks malfunctioned. Again.
The opening 30 minutes were very much akin to the French film Irréversible, directed by Gaspar Noé. You know the one. Some of the most uneasy viewing you could possibly ever imagine having to endure. A tormenting battering and brutal penetration leaving a dejected body, physically and mentally destroyed on the ground. And that was just the football and Michael Dawson. Don't even get me started on the film and that scene in the underpass.
But unlike Monica Bellucci's character, we are not left for dead beyond recognition (can this blog post get any more bad taste? Yes it can, hold tight). We have been embarrassed, almost humiliated. It could have been far worse, but it wasn't, and 3-2 may as well be 1-0 to them, except it isn't because we have two away goals, so the advantage is with us. It has to be with us. How could we possibly not score at the Lane? Unless we get served up a lasagne the night before, hand delivered from the Marriott Hotel by David Dein. There is simply no excuse for anything less than a convincing victory and safe passage through to the gold-paved roads of the group stages.
Perhaps in the first game we underestimated the task ahead. I know many of us did when we heard the draw. It was the best draw we could have hoped for, but not anywhere near as easy as it looked on paper. But then, that's naivety on our part. I mean, it’s a team from Switzerland, no? How could they handle a 100mph EPL club? Handle them well they did. Artificial pitch? Yes it did have a slight influence on the game, the way the ball zinged and pinged around and the way our players failed to take to it. Wasn't so much a subconscious lapse because you could visibly see them panic and freeze. Our defenders slowed down to a snails pace whilst YB cut through us like a hot axe through a cockerel made entirely of butter. I guess we were unprepared, which is scandalous considering what's at stake, but it's happened and can never be changed, so redemption is with making sure it doesn't happen again.
The more you look back the more disparaged you will feel about our initial inability to cope with the occasion. It was a choke. A combination of Harry's heimlich manoeuvre, a couple of wasteful finishes by the hosts and Pav's scorcher saving the day.
And so onwards we go into the do or die game at the Lane. Lessons learnt. The biggest game in our history, ever. Failure would mean a distinct lack of DVD releases. No 'Barcelona 0 Spurs 1' diamond encrusted club shop exclusive. No special edition Opus with it's extra glossy CL chapter with players bum-slapping each other in the changing rooms whilst Bentley and JJ dunk Harry in the bath. No doubt, over in East London, the streets will be packed with people eating and drinking like it was the Coronation all over again, another glorious chapter in their history written, statues built etc etc. Sky Sports News would probably petition to have the day extended from twenty-four hours to forty-eight so they can enjoy running the same headline long into the night.
Screw all this.
COYS. To dare is to do stuff. Positive stuff. It's no exaggeration to say that simply being there, in the groups, will be monumental in terms of stature. Sure, it might turn out to be a seasons worth of adventures, but it's one I want to experience. To push on, the players need to want it just as much. No sympathetic apologetic dejection thank you very much. Leave all that boxed up sitting next to the Ark of the Covenant in some warehouse somewhere.
But this Spurs side doesn't dwell in the past. Harry has instilled an ethic that does not disappoint when our backs are up against it.
Let's get the potential injuries out the way first. Modric, dos Santos, Pav, Keane - all apparently no-go's. King should return and apparently so will Defoe. I have a feeling (I hope) the injury plight is not half as bad as it looks, Harry mind games, with our players rested rather than risked away to Stoke.
There's also question marks surrounding our lack of goals from forwards. But the season is but two games old. And even if we do have one or two key players missing, we have enough quality, on grass, at home, to do to the Young Boys what they did to us.
They are smart, they might consider defending in numbers and counter-attacking. Frustrate us much like one or two managed last season. But do they have the class and belief to handle life outside of their plastic fantastic? The longer the game goes on with no goal then the more it will play on our minds, on the pitch and in the stands. This won't be easy. But then again the sheer noise the home faithful will make on the return of a glory glory night at the Lane, I can't think of anything better to settle the nerves of the players. YB have travelled to Turkey and won, so they won't be scared of the hallelujahs and drumming.
This is what it's all about. These types of pressures, expectations. Get use to it. The players should be loving the adrenalin rush. There's no hiding place. There is, but it's not an option. You either want it and go out and get it or you simply disappear into a dark corner and shake uncontrollably till you pass out. Everyone who isn't Lilywhite will want us to lose, more than ever. Embrace the hate. It means we're doing something right.
Early goal. An early goal will be perfect. I don't actually think they'll going to sit back, so I can't imagine them defending for 90 minutes. I reckon they will try to seek out an away goal positively knowing that if they succeed the game will open up for them because the pressure will be on us to try and claw something back. Which will leave them to be even more adventurous. If they do defend, then patience is key.
But worrying about the opposition is a wasteful exercise. Worrying about all the various possible scenarios that might play out is equally wasteful. When Monica Bellucci is confronted in the underpass, how different things would have been had she pulled out a gun from her handbag and shot the bastard in the face.
See, we might have been caught short on their patch. But on home territory, under the floodlights, we'll be gripping firearms like bloodthirsty assassins, firing bullets, ripping flesh off the bone till all that’s left is dog food.
Harry made some astute changes in the first game. This time round, we'll be as full strength as selection will allow us. Meaning Huddlestone will start. King will bring some much required calm at the back. Then there's the Kraken. No turning to stone for young Gareth. Bale, the beast, the stud, the Dark Knight, the best left-sided left-winger in the country (What? Yes, I did just say that, f**k you if you don't agree).
It's time to step up again. It's the life we have chosen for ourselves. Step up and cut through them like a hot knife through Swiss chocolate. A white hot knife, in a room with the air con off and radiators on full whack. In fact, the chocolate is in the oven when the knife does the damage. I want to swim in their chocolate blood.
We have the opportunity to be a part of the elite and kick the ball around in their playground. I don't care about ifs and buts about us being out of our depth if we get there. What a load of boll*cks. I want this more than I want Jessica Alba tied and gagged in my basement.
Get at them. Get at them the way we got at Man City, and get at them some more by finding the target, with no remorse. We've had far more tricky games recently. Far bigger tests of our guile and mentality. We didn't choke. I don't expect us to choke on Wednesday. I expect us to unzip and make them choke on us. Young Boys of Bern. We're going to hurt you. We're going to come from behind and beat you, beat you bad.
Ooh. Kenneth Williams would be proud.
COYFS. To dare is to f**king do.
Reader Comments (166)
Absolute cracking post, best for a while. Wednesday can't come soon enough. COYS
so I was trying to explain the situation to the missus after the match, without wanting to get into much maths I summed it up as 'we need to win by at least one goal'
'how many do you normally need to win by then?' was the answer, kind of put it in perspective for me
hear fucking hear
hahahahahaha -top posting mate - made me even more nervous about wednesday though -oooooooohhhh - the tension
id still take europa league and a carling cup run.
Other than Arse fans I dont think everyone not in lilly white want us to lose, I believe we have a lot of neutral support out there who would love to see the Spurs way succeed, attacking football played by a team full of english and british players, with an english manager and an english owner. What more could you want?
COME ON SPURS. Show the same determination you did against City in the last 2 games and its yours for the taking.
Now that's what I call a write up.
Come on you Spurs, 4-1 I reckon on the night.
And it's looking like Lennon is rediscovering his best form just in time. The two runs and passes for Bale's goals at the weekend were vintage Assa. COYS!
Have managed to secure tickets and very costly flights over from Dublin. I'm so excited and I' ve been trying to distract myself all day! Reading this article has not helped. I can feel the adrenalin coursing through my veins already imagine what the atmosphere will be like! It will put the whole carling cup Wembley Chelscum day out in the shade if we can pull it off against the young boys (couldn't resist)!
Two more sleeps!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't help but feel awkward while reading this but I'm definitely as pumped as you about the match in a not-so-violent way!
COYFS indeed!!!
Ave IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cant wait for Wednesday, it's gonna be mental!
Top posting!!! feeling charge up for Wednesday!
Rob J....where do you live? Everyone hates us and wants to see us fail!!! lol
Thats proper psyched me up! Unfortunately for me I'm watching the game with a Liverpool fan, who'd like nothing better than to see us fail. I really want to shove it down his throat! COYS!
If carlsberg did internet blogs!!!
I'm gonna level with you - I'm scared. They will definately not come and sit back and let us attack them till we score. I watched extended highlights of the 2nd leg V Fener and YBs played the same high tempo, pressing, fast attacking game. They will come at us, and come at us with the confidence of knowing they ripped us apart in the first leg. I would be highly tempted to go out with the same formation as on Saturday, allowing Bale and Lennon to pin their FBs back, and let us have an extra body in midfield. King, Hudd, Bale and Lennon need to all have huge, monolithic, career-defining games. The big men of the team need to have the big performances. If they do, we'll win. If they don't, YBs will take great delight in exploiting our fears, our hesitancy, the weight of expectation etc.
As with the first leg, it's all in the mind. Mental strength is the key. As Spooky said, as good as YBs can be, this game is not about the opposition. It's about us. If we play as we can, and with belief, confidence and total professionalism, we will do it. If there are any signs of metal weakness, they will be ruthlessly exploited. An early goal is of course useful, but in reality we need 90 mins of excellence. Solid defence is totally essential. Wilson needs to pull his finger out if he plays.
Fantastic reading!
To dare is to do. Nuff said.
Young Boys will attack us, they will try to put us under pressure like they did in the first game but I honestly don't think they will have the upper hand in our backyard, I can see us scoring two or three and killing the game off early on. I'm confident about this. I have a lot of faith in that the worst is out of our system now and the players know what's required.
Great write up Spooky, you've got about six classic quotables in there.
Brilliant post! ETAYS!!!!*
* Eat them allive you Spurs!
Chrisman - listen to yourself - you are scared of young boys...
Sharky I live Yorkshire and work in the North (I will be travelling down for this game), I can tell you there is no anti Spurs feeling up here whatsoever. If truth be told we haven't won enough in recent times to irk other supporters. Unlike Man U, Fergy, Wenger & Chelsea who all are either loved by there own fans are dispised by everyone else.
He's worried they're going to press charges
Seems as if we are encountering one of the big 3.I would love to hear comments from the players themselves. Are they going to have a complacent approach or be consistent as in two encounters with City?
Lets smash them in the face with a fire extinguisher. Repeatedly. And then some more.
hahaha
Seriously. It will be fine. We played that badly away from home, and still came away with a 3-2 loss. As long as we play even quite well, it should be in the bag. We did get lucky, but our luck involved skill - Pav & Keane's inter-play, Pav's perfect finish, Bales delivery and Bassong's great header. Young boys got lucky, their first goal - good finish, but it was set up by a lucky deflection. I just hope that we get comfortable as soon as possible in the match.
If Modric is injured then who takes his place along side Huddlestone?
Palacios is out of sorts, though did a decent job at Stoke.
Jenas, to put it mildly, is not the player he was 5 years ago.
Kranjcar is better drifting in from the left.
Maybe we'll play 5 across the middle, like saturday, but with Pav up top.
COYS
This should be printed and hung on the wall of the Home Team dressing room !!!
They rattled us. We still found a way back and that speaks volumes. I've got us down to win 3-0.
The plastic pitch, the much watered plastic pitch,made a hell of a difference and can not be underestimated.
The stadium was hardly intimidating, three flares and the sight of several dozen half naked young boys facing the wrong way,wasnt quite the same as Besiktas or Seville,but the way we collapsed in that first period was just too much to take at times.Still Harry sorted it put on Huddlestone and the game changed for the better.I still dont get why he made so many unforced changes for "the biggest game in our history" but i aint a football manager.
There wont/shouldnt be any problem Wednesday.Home advantage,Spurs crowd ( dont ever underestimate for impact they make) a full strength team and Harry and Joe kicking arse from the sidelines.They shall not pass.
Roll on Champions league its been a long time in the coming like an elephant on viagra.Still if we duck out theres always the DVD of Irreversible by Gasper Pamarot or whoever?
Brilliant, brilliant post Spooky. Back on form. I guess she wrote this when the baby was asleep?
As usual, class act. If Carlsburg wrote blogs...........
I do hope the players are as ready as you are ...
Got to go out and get me some fresh air , all worked up after reading this piece
How funny; I actually watched Irréversible yesterday to try and take my mind off Wednesday's game. Worked for about half an hour. Reading Spurs blogs at work doesn't help though.
Spooky is the modern day Shakespeare. This is MacBeth Henry V and Hamlet rolled into one. With a touch of the Michael Winners thrown in......never thought I would write a sentence with Shakespeare and Michael winner iappearing in it either though...ho hum......
Unleash Armegeddon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
COYS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Read this while listening to the Champions League music on Youtube!
That'll give you the goosebumps and get the heart rate racing.
My productivity this week is gonna be fucking low.
Come on you fucking Spurs! We're all right behind you!
you should be a motivational speaker...
ha ha excellent stuff, however i think the biggest game in our history to date has to be spurs v benfica in the european cup semi finals in 1962. this is our biggest since then. the only thing to fear is fear itself coys.
They will melt like fondue.
I've missed the 'Biggest' series Spooky, good to have it back. Great even that its for something more than just fighting our way out of the bottom three this time round.
Most certainly NOT the biggest game in our history, I was at the 2nd leg of our semi-final against Benfica in the European Cup, that was the biggest game I ever saw with Spurs. Incidentally that was the only game on TV but nobody saw it, (sound only!) I also attended the the final in Nederland as we had tickets being sure we were going to be there. Alas we didn't make it but it was probably the finest game I ever had the privilege to watch, Benfica played the team just nicknamed the "White Ballet," Real Madrid. Benfica went in at half time 3-0 down, in the 2nd half they brought on a young black boy who scored 3 goals in 18 minutes, his name was Eusebio, Benfica ran out winners 5-3.
love it complete madness!! Last year was the best season for spurs fans for many a year but when we win on Wednesday the celebrations will be amazing, especially if a certain Mr Gallas plays and scores! I cant wait to see spurs in the champions league draw for the group stages. Then give wigan a good hard rogering to complete a peerfect start to the new season, happy days
I'm more concerned about Wigan at home then I am about the Young Boys game. Wigan, thrashed twice, return to WHL where they lost 9-1 last season, you know it's got 0-0 written all over it.
Baggy, its tongue in cheek. If you select the BIGGEST tag you'll see spooky has used the heading a few times in our recent past to over emphasis the important of winning.
I'd say this much, if we lose, it will be unbearable for months. Especially when the group stages kick off and we're not part of the coverage. Gut wrenching.
I just re-read my post , someone give me a good hard slap
I am keen to know what kind of formation 'Arry will deploy at the Lane. Rodney on his own up front with a five man midfield like against Stoke??
COYS
Seville at home anyone?
The Seville game, boy how we gave it away so quickly, too little too late in that one. I dont think Young Boys are quite at the same level as the Spanish outfit.
Excellent, 10/10! I maintain that the players should actually have to read this blog every week. Spooky you should really be signed on at spurs as a motivator for the team.
I am still very perplexed as to why we can't have hungry strikers up to now. Defoe is the best on his day, but those days do seem to be few and far apart. Crouchy has scored some crucial goals, but again same story as defoe. Pav has done us great service and saved our skins the other day, but still far too lackadaisical and wastes far too many chances. Still grateful of him though!
So for now I'm really concerned with our forwards, I'm mindful of leaving out Keane. Our back line I can say I feel better about than before, Gallas I can see being a valuable asset.
Nervous but anxious to watch the match on Wednesday. SPURS!