It's happening again
Tuesday, July 13, 2010 at 9:52PM Take Eminem's classic track Stan, add the vital ingredient of an obsessive fan but replace Eminem with the current chairman of THFC and you get this. That was back in 2009. So thanks to the slow news* days as we await for Joe Cole to make his mind up and lack of any other tangible 'in the know' activity, here's an updated remix for 2010.
*Congrats to Harry and his new contract
Spooked - original song lyrics by Eminem, re-imagined for DML.com.
Chorus: (Harry Redknapp)
Hansen scoffs on Match of the Day
Spurs will always let you down
Champions League outside my window
And all I see is fourth place
And Crouchie nods home the winner
Ledleys only got one knee,
It reminds me, that Spurs are great,
I'm so great...
[Spooky]
Dear Mr Levy, I wrote but you still ain't callin
I left my mobile, my email, and my twitter at the bottom
I sent two letters back in May, along with an Enneagram you must not have got 'em
There probably was a problem with security or the postmen
Sometimes they just throw out my parcels when I drop them
But anyways; fuck it, what's happening dude? How's the naming rights going?
I can't wait for the new stadium and the new home shirt ain't blowing
So what you up to at the minute? Should we expect to re-sign Kevin Prince Boateng?
I'm not joking, if we re-sign him I think I might cry and consider drowning
Better yet I'll stick my head in the oven, has Bentley stopped his clowning?
Can we not try and sign someone decent instead?
Diego Forlan would be better than having myself ending up dead
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I still hide out in your garden in the shrubbery and watch you tan
I got a room full of your photos and hate Matthew Norman the schnook
I like the old work you did with Comolli too, that shit was off the hook
Anyways, I hope you get this, and mail me back,
Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan, you on Facebook?
This is Spooky, let's talky
Chorus: (Harry Redknapp)
[Spooky]
Dear Mr Levy, you still ain't called or wrote, does your PA never take a fucking note?
I ain't mad - I just think it's FUCKED UP you don't answer your phone
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside the Lane,
you didn't have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for Theo
That's my little voodoo doll man
I'm always sticking needles in his vains,
We waited at the West Stand entrance for you in the pouring rain,
Four hours then you and Ekotto just ignored us leaving us in pain
That's pretty shitty man - just like The Opus
How can the average fan even afford one, I swear sometimes you're so pompus
I ain't 'In The Know' though, I just don't like being lied to
Remember when we met at the AGM - you said if I'd write you
you would write back - see I'm just like you in a way
I would have sacked Juande Ramos too, he was like Bill Murray;
He hardly spoke a native word and best got rid of in a hurry
I can relate to what you're saying in your match-day notes
So when I have a shitty day, I drift away and read them to myself
Cause I don't really have much else other than a blog and ketamine to help me when I'm depressed
I even got a tattoo of ENIC PLC across my chest
Sometimes I even shave my head to see how good it looks
It's like adrenaline, the bald shine is such a sudden rush for me
See everything you say is real in those official statements and I respect you cause you tell it
Other bloggers are just jealous cause I talk about you 24/7
But they don't know you like I know you Dan, no one does
That Ben bloke who climbs the tree at the Lodge has lost his buzz
You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Spooky -- P.S.
We should share a bagel soon
Chorus: (Harry Redknapp)
[Spooky]
Dear Mister You're-Gonna-Get-My-Burning-Season-Ticket-Thrown-At-Your-Door
this'll be the last fucking effigy I ever send you, 1pm Cornerpin, will end you
It's been Christ knows how long and still no word - I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters;
I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect…
So this is my iphone 4 recording I'm sending you, I hope you see and hear it
I'd have rang you using voice-call but I lose reception when I use it
I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 61 on the High Street
Hey Daniel, I drank ten cans of Holsten, you dare me to do?
You know the song by Hoddle and Waddle, "Diamond Lights"?
About the guy standing alone in the rain regretful
And he declares his love for her even though she's as hard as stone
That's kinda how this is, you're as cold as ice to me, I'm struggling with my airflow
Why the fuck do you persist with ignoring me, do I not deserve a guitar solo
Now it's too late - you show love for Lennon and you make me feel like Yoko Ono
And all I wanted was a letter or a call
I hope you know I ripped ALL of your naked photo-shopped pictures off my bathroom wall
You're not keeping tabs on Harry either, he should be playing Taarabt, think about it,
the kid is the new Zidane, he's been destroying the Championship do you not dream about it?
And when you dream it I hope you can see his step-overs and you SCREAM about it
I hope your conscience EATS AT YOU and you can't BREATHE about it. Please don't sell him to Real Madrid, I want us to build the team around him.
See Daniel; {*screaming*}
Shut up bitch! I'm trying to talk!
Hey Daniel, that's Jermaine Jenas screamin in the trunk
But he ain't too good, I dropped James Corden on his head
See I ain't like you
'Cause with JJ his skills make me frown
It's time to get rid of him knees up mother brown
Well, gotta go, I think I'm almost here now
Oh shit, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this shit out?
{*car tires squeal*} {*CRASH*}
.. {*brief silence*} .. {*Police siren in the distance*}
Chorus: (Harry Redknapp)
[Daniel Levy]
Dear Mr Spooky, I meant to write you sooner but I've been quite busy
I'm glad you like the stadium plans, it will make the whole Prem dizzy
Look, I'm really flattered you spend so much time outside the ground
and here's an autograph from Gareth Bale, he's worth a few pound
He wrote it on a programme
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the Lane, I must have missed you
Don't think I did that intentionally just to disrespect you
But what's this stuff about a voodoo doll?
I say that's just slightly off-key
Come on now - you don't want yourself banned, in-front of a judge and have to plea
You got some issues Spooky, I think you need some counselling
To help I'll put your name down in the raffle for an Opus, you're bound to win
And don't worry we'll not be re-signing Boateng, would have preferred his brother
But sticking your head in the oven, that type of attitude makes me not want us to meet each other
I really think you need to stop getting so excited just relax it's no matter
We've got Modric on a long term contract it's left Fergie in tatters
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time before you hurt yourself,
I think that you'll be doing just fine, if you relax a little
I'm glad I inspire you but Spooky why are you so confused?
Try to understand, we've finished fourth you should be enthused
You should be so happy we've got into the Champions League, stop being so frantic
I watched this one bloke on the news a couple weeks ago that made me quite sick
He crashed his car into Matthew Norman's house, high and drunk on booze
Had some fat naked bloke gagged in the back and another weeping profuse
And they found his phone with a video message he made, but they didn't say who it was to
Come to think about, his name was...it was you...
Damn.
Reader Comments (61)
I will never tire of seeing this. Can we please have an audio version?
Brilliant
I drank ten cans of Holsten, you dare me to drive-brillant
Better than the 2009 version Spooky, nice touch mentioning all your enemies.
Never seen the first one, but this quotage heaven, so many moments of genius..
Hey Daniel, I drank ten cans of Holsten, you dare me to drive?
Hmm, re-reading this, I'm wondering if the following would sit better:
Hey Daniel, I drank ten cans of Holsten, to dare is to do?
Theo and Corden in the same article. I applaud you.
LOL @ the Adel stint. Anyone else singing to this Eminem style?
That's really good haha
Record and upload to you tube please
Fuck only knows what spursman79 is going to make of this.
I can't sing. Or rap.
Absolute class spooky,
This is fcuking class mate...
And yeah I in'stan'tly put the song on and sang along with these lyrics hahaha worked quite well
Great job dude
Spooky, I can ask a few friends who could do this and see what they say about gettin it made up? if thats okay with you?? Absolutely mint, i played the track and sang along!!
Top top stuff,fast becoming the best tottenham blog on the net well done lad.now I am away off back to the riots lol
Do it White Hart.
"That's kinda how this is, you're as cold as ice to me, I'm struggling with my airflow
Why the fuck do you persist with ignoring me, do I not deserve a guitar solo
Now it's too late - you show love for Lennon and you make me feel like Yoko Ono"
Gold. :)
Excellent Spooky, but I assume JJ made an escape at the death?
Top notch.
And I'm also laughing at Belfastyid. Behave yourself!
So this is my iphone 4 recording I'm sending you, I hope you see and hear it
I'd have rang you using voice-call but I lose reception when I use it
I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 61 on the High Street
Hey Daniel, I drank ten cans of Holsten, you dare me to do?
Steve Jobs aint happy with that.
Dear Mr Steve Jobs...
I'M FUCKING HOLDING IT RIGHT AND IT STILL DOESN'T WORK.
haha absolute quality... like some if the other lads have said you should make this audio and put on youtube.
Out. of. this .world.
Utter, utter genius.
Tried to do the Harry/Dido voice but all it came out sounding like TehTrunk
If anyone record this that would be epic!
Top work Spooks and if you're done with those photoshopped Levy pics I'd gladly take them off your hands...
Spooky; you almost rock it like our friend Stan!
This is not the first time I am writing; and you also ignore me spooky!
Now that you have done this, I can also write some lyrically goofy
Never mind me, Tottenham still rules, and I'm her biggest fan.
P.S. your biggest Fan GhengisK...Believes Sol Campbell's gay.
You on the happy pills Ghengis?
I completely agree with all of you. 'Dear Mr Levy' is very very good. One of my favourite Spurs blog. Keep it up, mate. COYS.
stopped reading at the "SOMEONE SAID SOMETHING MEAN ABOUT US ON TELE" opening line
thought it was supposed to be a remix
ZZZZZZZZ
Brilliant
Solid stuff Spooks. Again.
Heh Spooky
This is poetry in motion. Best Ever.
Should have been a professional 'stand-up'
Congrats.
"Should have been a professional 'stand-up'"
No, you should...
ROFLMAO
Lambethspud...Zzzzz
Machine, yep, Jennifer Garner is back.
Outstanding))
@ lambethspud
if u dont like it, fuck off...
keep 'em comin spooky!
Ignore the troll. He's a Hull fan with a massive hard on for me. It's cute, but I'm just not wired up that way.
Quality, loved the Walcott voodoo doll bit
So, James Corden. Gagged. Got off lightly then.
Class sheer class
I can rap too,but I only really do it at Christmas....;^P
Superior to Eminems.
Superior to Eminems
Steady now...
A hip-hop career awaits Spooky!
hilarious!
Brilliant job. Approaching genius in parts
Lambeth jog on son
Awesome