Trolling, lol

All I can add to this is...LOL.

For your BAE fix, click click:

A day in the life of Benny

The Stupendous Adventures of Benoit Assou Ekotto

A day in the life of Benny

If you haven't then you really should. That is, if you wish to see more hilarity as displayed below.

The place?

The Fighting Cock forum. Click here.

Click on the above images to go directly to the thread.

Thanks to Sibs of The Fighting Cock team.

Love the shirt.

The Stupendous Adventures of Benoit Assou-Ekotto

Local bank on high street.

BAE enters and joins the end of the queue where people are waiting to speak to a cashier. Then suddenly...

...Three men in balaclava's rush into the bank with sawn off shotguns screaming at the top of their lungs...


BANK ROBBER ONE: EVERYONE GET THE F**K DOWN ON THE FLOOR!!! NOOOOOOW!! DO IT!!

BANK ROBBER TWO: GET DOWN AND DON'T F*****G EVEN THINK ABOUT LOOKING UP! IF I SEE ANYONE HOLDING A MOBILE I'LL F*****G SHOOT YOU!

BANK ROBBER THREE: (aiming gun at cashiers) LET ME SEE YOUR HANDS! LET ME SEE THEM! IF I SEE YOU GO FOR THE ALARM, I SWEAR YOU'LL F*****G DIE!!

BANK ROBBER ONE: OI, YOU, YES YOU! WHEN I SAID EVERYBODY I MEANT EVERYBODY, NOW GET ON THE FLOOR!

BAE: (stares nonchalantly)

BANKER ROBBER ONE: ARE YOU F*****G TAKING THE P*SS? DOWN, NOW! GET THE F**K DOWN!

BAE: (stares nonchalantly)

BANK ROBBER THREE: WHAT'S TAKING SO LONG I NEED ONE OF YOU UP TOP TO HELP ME GATHER THE MONEY!

BANK ROBBER TWO: COME ON (also points shot-gun towards BAE) GET DOWN, GET THE F**K DOWN, F*****G NOOOOOOW!

BAE: (stares nonchalantly)

BANK ROBBER ONE: ON THE FLOOR! WHAT THE F**K IS WRONG WITH YOU?

BAE: (stares nonchalantly)

BANK ROBBER TWO: COOOOOOOOME OOOOOON!! (leans forward to push BAE to the ground with shotgun, BAE Muhammad Aliesque swiftly shuffles and avoids the push)

BANKER ROBBER ONE: WHAT THE F***?

BANKER ROBBER TWO: YOU ARE F*****G DEAD, DEAD! THIS IS A F*****G BANK ROBBERY!!

BAE: (stares nonchalantly)

BAE: Robbery? Really? This is ze bank? I thought this was Starbucks.

(starts to wonder towards the exit)

BANK ROBBER TWO: Where are you going?

BAE: To get a Frappuccino.

♫ Don't cha wish your left-back was B-A-E ♫

Roll end credits.

In our defence

End of season review. An attempt at one. I have to be honest with you, I’m struggling a touch at the moment. I’m spending most of my available time online (when not working) musing on Twitter, slagging off the In The Know community simply because I default to this obvious caricature of hate because there is very little else to discuss at the moment.

I could perhaps talk about what’s-his-face and the delightful twitch his face displays when someone on Sky Sports mentions the Chelsea job. Then again, no.

A letter is due to the chairman, but I’ll wait another week or so before I drain blood and dip feather.

As for the ITK community, I’ve already spotted one Spurs fan on a forum make up some s*** about a player only for a supposed well known ITK to then post about it on the forum he frequents, giving the impression he heard about it from a club insider.

Even funnier is the fact that ESPN are obviously connected because they published a news article about Cristian Ceballos (even though they jumped the gun suggesting he had signed) without a single citation in the day(s) before from any of the esteemed ITK’ers. A Barca reject kid on trial at Spurs and none of the countless self-proclaimed messengers had anything to share other than providing updates post-ESPN exclusive.

Yes, yes. I hate it all with a passion and here I am talking about it, unable to turn away. But for the moment, I will.

So this is me skipping onwards with the end of season chit chat.

Before I do I just want to say goodbye and good luck to @drwinston001 who is ‘retiring’ from blogging and handing over his site (thfc1882.com) to a couple of other top lads to continue its coverage of all things Spurs. His final article covered off an assessment of our squad, which is well worth a read. If you’re wondering, a baby is on it's way. Good luck Tom, look forward to your guest-blogging over at thfc1882 in the not so distant future.

So, player reviews up first. The defence.

To follow: Prem / The Cups / The Progression of Harry Redknapp’s Tottenham / Summertime High Jinxs.

Gomes

From shot stopping genius to calamity clown. If Gomes was a centre forward he’d be of the ilk not too dissimilar to the ones we have at the moment. Very good when there is no time to think. Remember Robbie Keane during his better spells at the club? Stick Robbie in a one on one situation and his brain farts and the ball either goes wide or straight at the keeper. Gomes, when he has a similar pocket of time for his grey matter to rub up against each other, can only ever result with a haemorrhage of haplessness.  

He completely losses the ability to control his physicality, body going one direction with mind left behind between the woodwork, whilst we all witness the implosion in slow-mo.

What is Gomes? Is he a good keeper prone to mistakes and lapses of concentration? Or is he an average keeper, one that is always prone to errors, but masks the negatives with moments of unparalleled reflexes and super-saves? It’s a fallacy to suggest all keepers are loopy. By virtue of the fact they are the only ones wearing gloves to handle the ball with hands during the game, their mistakes will always stand-out more. Conceding a goal thanks to an avoidable mistake can change the whole course of a game and the psychology of the teams focus. Much like missing a sitter.

No doubting Gomes has given us moments of stupendous plot. Giving away a penalty in the last minute, then saving it (Chelsea at home) and saving a pen only to give one away and concede seconds later (Blackpool at home). We’ve been treated to a master-class of excellence too (AC Milan away) as well as insanity (Inter away). He was incredible at the back of last season. That wasn’t him over performing. That was him at the top of his concentration. Gomes strikes me as someone who is fragile with self belief and confidence and when one mistake or a moment or uncertainty plays out, like domino's, all layers of his mind collapse.

He makes wonderful saves but when he makes mistakes, they are epic (and at key moments). He can flap too and when mistakes don't lead to goals they lead to Keystone antics across the whole of the backline, infecting his team-mates with a dizzy virus and it's side-effect of momentary panic.

Personally, I don’t want to detach my faith from supporting him. People who prefer him to be replaced by someone with a more steady head might be forgetting that a keeper who retains concentration might not necessarily be capable of match winning performances and when they conceded, it might not be thanks to a lapse of concentration but simply lesser skill.

If there’s a keeper out there that’s capable of brilliance but has the cool composed calmness of a Cech, then the vast majority of us would not complain if he was signed and the Brazilian was sold on.

Sort your head out Gomes.

Gallas

He’s ex-Chelsea, he’s ex-Arsenal. He’s a trouble-maker. He’s a melter. He’s too old. He’s too slow.

Wish someone has pre-warned me he would be an absolute gem, a steal...a stolen gem. With King and Woodgate hardly involved, having someone of Gallas experience in the side has played a major part in retaining strength and organisation at the back. It took a while for him to regain full match fitness and settle in with his new team mates, but his almost nonchalant ‘doesn’t give a **** other than just performing well’ attitude proved that sometimes there is nothing wrong with wheeling and dealing. I can remember feeling mixed emotions and displeasure when he was made captain. Kudos to Harry. Gallas has been imperative in the absence of King, if not a pound for pound replacement. Interestingly, he's yet to score for us.

Dawson

Step up, step up. Everyone knows Daws excels when he has Ledley King by his side. He’s been equally impressive with Gallas playing next to him but Daws is best positioned to the right of King. Regardless, he gets on with it and defends with royal passion. Just that, what with his age and with Ledley missing for large chunks of the season...it’s time this prince became a King.

Mixed season, inconsistent at times and brilliant on occasions. You love Daws because of his relentless desire to do well. He might not be the quickness and he might lack the assured presence a Gallas or King possesses  but you can’t question his work rate (and his distribution ain’t too shabby).

If he can replicate the form he is capable of when he plays alongside King, then he’ll have grown into the player that we all wish him to be. At the minute, we’re just wishing. Dawson needs to believe in himself, just a notch more and take each game by the scruff of the neck. Which he does already, just not in every game.

Corluka

Not one of his better seasons. All over the shop early on, replaced by Alan Hutton whilst we all wondered what had happened to the always reliable Croat. His positioning, key to make up for his lack of pace, had deserted him completely. I like him. I like the way he works the flanks with Lennon. I think, on form he offers more than our other options. He’s intelligent on the ball and can play football rather than perhaps just knock the ball ahead of him and run onto it. Hopefully it was a blip. I doubt Hutton will be with us next season. Kyle Walker will. So you can’t help but feel content that competition at right-back will be tight.

Ekotto

Everyone huddles, except for BAE. I mean, he’s there. You can see him, but his back is straight and his head is facing upwards and looking away whilst all the other soft-hearted lads are bending down to listen to the rallying speech. Simply put, Ekotto is too cool for skool. A modern day footballing anomaly. He doesn’t follow the game as a spectactor. Although it’s slightly stretching the persona of coolness to perhaps suggests he doesn’t care. He’s a model professional without the superstar add-ons.

His consistent, he’s drilled. He plays for the team and he does exactly what he’s expected to do at the back. More kudos to Harry for solving this conundrum as there was a time before his arrival when we were not quite sure he was the answer to our left-back headache.

Excellent player, excellent season...lets Bale rampage whilst he sits back and defends and never appears to lose focus. Hopefully Danny Rose will continue his impressive cameos into next season and give Ekotto a rest now and again (won't be too presumptuous and say 'competition' just yet).

Hutton

Okay, so he’s offensive and he runs forward with intent and can impact the game but he can’t perform at the back as an individual or as part of a unit. He doesn’t fathom the concept of positioning and he has no astuteness in the art of defending. Had a period this season where some of us thought we’re be proven wrong, mainly down to the fact Charlie was so awful. Alas, we were not proved wrong in the end.

Kaboul

When Comolli signed him he stated he was ‘one for the future’. In true Tottenham fashion we threw him into the first team and ruined him. Well, we thought we had. Quite surreal that he was sold and then signed back. He’s grown and matured, he’s still raw in places but I can’t help but believe he has a strong future at our club. Development of his defensive abilities on the back foot need to match his awareness going forward with the ball. He possesses the right attributes to be a beast and hero status for the third goal to complete our famous win over at the swamp.

Bassong

Who? Oh yeah. The forgotten man. Thought he was more than decent for us last season and yet this season he’s hardly figured. If Harry doesn’t fancy you, then you don’t get a look in. Shame because he is more than capable.

King

The discussion about whether it’s worth retaining him if he’s only going to appear in a handful (if not less) games per season will continue throughout the summer. He’s one in a million with the one knee, and yet he can do more than most are capable with two. Galvanises Dawson and improves our defence every time he plays. Statistically, we lose less games and concede fewer goals when he plays. If he had two knees, we’d still be where we are now...as King would probably be playing for Barca or Madrid.

Might as well mention Woodgate. Depending on what you read he's either going to be let go or given a pay-as-play contract.

We certainly need to decide on our back-line in preparation for 2012. Fullback positions are fine, it's the centre pairing and the backup(s) that need attention. Preferably not the type that involves ice packs and cotton wool.

Overall, we've done well in defence. Just not scored enough goals down the other end to relieve them from pressure which has resulted in loss of shape and conceded goals. Confidence with the keeper/defender relationship another required fix. It's not just four at the back, it's five.

Across the season, as a unit (ignoring moments of madness in the CL and in the cups) I can't complain more than I have above, which isn't a lot.

Midfielders and attackers to follow...

Yet another Spurs versus Arsenal El Clásico

Well that was rather special, wasn’t it?

Is there a more enthralling, pulsating fixture in the domestic calendar than the North London Derby? Dramatic twists and turns, excellent attacking football, quality finishing all glued together with blood and thunder desire. Once again we bounced back. Once again they lost their grip on the game. You could hardly look away, other than perhaps for a brief second to momentarily ease the beats of your brutalised heart. Mentality and physically exhausting, the dvd will surely include a parental warning on its sleeve.

Okay so whether you’re white or red you’ll agree a draw was hardly the best result in terms of accumulating the points to achieve the goal each club aspires to in the run-in. Arsenal are hardly out of the challenge for the title, mathematically speaking. And regardless of the stalemate, beating Manchester City away remains the end-game task we have ahead of us, as long as we don’t drop points to our determent in comparison to City and their remaining fixtures.

Could we have won it? Sure. Had perhaps Modric made it four with his foot rather than seeing the ball hit his shin and saved. Sandro's effort too had it been perhaps an inch to the right of Szczesny might have found its way in. The Arsenal keeper coming to their rescue again with saves from Crouch and van der Vaart in what was a far better second half of football for us than the first.

They could argue the same thing though. They could have won it too.

Hindsight would probably have seen me select Sandro from the start to stop Arsenal from over-running us in midfield as he would have been far more comfortable with breaking up play and generally being a nuisance and menace. To have had him playing the simple ball, recycling possession effectively and without fuss might have balanced things out in our favour and frustrated the opposition. But then it’s from a place of comfort after the event to perhaps look back and be critical of selection. And to play devil’s advocate, Sandro was guilty of one sleepy pass that might have proved costly. But hey, we’re all human.

I was more content with the line-up. van der Vaart, Pavlyuchenko and Crouch in the same team gave us a foil and a more dynamic dimension when pushing forwards rather than perhaps having the one striker ahead of the Dutchman. Perhaps working better on paper than in practice, with the Russian on the outside looking in for most of the game. Across the full ninety perhaps Pav didn’t have the impact you’d have wished for but he worked hard. Crouch hassled and vdV buzzed. Modric was anything but lightweight (but was pushed once or twice to the floor joining Bale down there) as he did his very best to take the stranglehold back off the impressive Fabregas in an attempt to control tempo in our favour.

It didn’t actually start to pull in our direction until after that stunning first forty-five.

The very definition of a ding-dong derby. 0-1 in five minutes, 1-1 after seven, 1-2 after twelve, 1-3 after forty and then 2-3 at the forty-four minute mark. And breath.

Not taking anything away from Arsenal who scored three goals that were deserving for their effort, but once more, there are post-mortems for each one that are labelled ‘should have done better’. Hand on heart, they caused us a multitude of problems but punches were thrown in-between the goal-scoring with both sides having telling efforts.

As for those post-mortems.

0-1

Henry-lite runs onto a brilliant pass from the annoyingly good Fabregas and passes the ball into the net. We lost the ball cheaply in midfield (Huddlestone) and were duly punished for it with a combination of mistakes that played out to aid Arsenal. Gallas rushing out initially leaving a gap that then saw Dawson play the offside and BAE caught playing Walcott onside. There’s a certain level of composure and concentration that is required at all times otherwise counters like this can leave you looking up to the heavens for a pray. Hardly the definition of defensive unity. Delightful celebration by Theo.

1-1

Two minutes later and its game on. Corluka with the ball into the path of van der Vaart who majestically found the back of the net at Szczeny’s near post, on his weaker foot too. The celebration cancelling out the earlier one. Arsenal perhaps if they wish to be harsh on their keeper can point to that near post and suggest a shot should not be sneaking in from there. Did I mention the celebration? I did? I'll mention it again. Sssh.

1-2

Should Dawson have stood up (get up, stand up...) rather than attempt to block a shot that might not have been released had he got tighter or am I distracting attention away from the quality of the shot from Nasri which took a slight deflection off Michael as it flew past Gomes? Good finish, but it felt like it should have been defended better. We just sat back and watched Nasir buzz about outside the box. Will not be too critical of Gomes here, I know some of you are. I guess philosophically, if a player has a crack from that sort of distance you have to give him his due if he finds the net.

1-3

At this point you’ll have probably given up. Had you perhaps been watching any other game other than the NLD. Gallas at fault I hate to say it. Far too casual. Chesting the ball down into the path of Walcott who dinked the ball wonderfully back into the path of Robin van Persie who had a couple of attempts to make it three. The first (a header) superbly saved, but alas, the second emphatically finished as the ball came back to van Persie. I guess some of you would have wanted Gomes to catch it with one hand, ala Jennings?

2-3

Just before the break we're back in it. There was a time in the past when we would concede a goal before half-time and find ourselves on the back-foot in the second forty-five, but this was not only a life-line but perhaps the most telling moment that probably invited doubt into the minds of our mentally fragile neighbours. With Bale off for treatment (thanks to two collisions with the winking Szczensy) Fabregas failed to clear convincingly and the ball was erotically struck by Huddlestone, hitting the ground and going through the jump of van der Vaart and past the keeper who hardly moved, apart from perhaps blinking.

There was still time for a penalty shout. Frantic stuff. Not given, could have been. We've seen less go for us and against us in the past. But then the footballing Gods didn’t want to spoil us too much, preferring to retain some drama for when the players returned to the pitch.

Half-time. And two changes. Bale (cluttered once too often) and Corluka off. Kaboul and Lennon on.

Physicality notched up a level, yellow cards dished out  to the visitors with some blood spilt (Wenger did predict that) and even some time for the introduction of Wilshere to be told to shut up by vdV, which will probably give him something to tweet about post-game. Nutmeg anyone?

If we survived during the first 45 we gradually took hold of the second, although it was still littered with remainders that for every couple of chances we crafted out, they could have done better with theirs. Offside goal disallowed that might not have been offside (did Gomes play to the whistle? I think he did and half gave up when he heard it). Walcott also making the wrong decision with a cross-shot shot that didn't hit the target or find one of his team-mates.

Far more confident possession and intent from us. Proactive rather than reactive, with Arsenal on the back-foot more often than not but still dangerous. Next goal ‘wins’ it then.

If Modric made us tick, and van der Vaart was outstanding leading us forwards there was BAE, as cool and calm as you like, he might as well have been on the beach in Brazil than at White Hart Lane in the midst of a NLD. Open invitation for Alan Hansen to review past comments. Absolutely on the money from the pimp master. Distribution was solid and classy and sexy and when others lost their cool around him he made sure he was ever reliable at key moments. The ball for Lennon deserving of a goal. Instead we got a penalty out of it. Still ended up with a goal. Szczesny committing himself with little option other than to take down Aaron. Cool as you like, van der Vaart from the spot for his brace. Hero.

3-3.

Wenger animated on the bench (did I see a moment of monty python at one point?). Harry believing we’d probably get another. Oh for the love of all things wonderful on God’s green earth, it could have been four. Modric failing to connect cleanly. Then followed some neat saves from Gomes (not to be left bored at the other end) and those Crouch and Sandro efforts teasing all that watched, but a winner wasn’t to be for either side.

Stalemate, but hardly stale. 3-3 at the final whistle. And to think there were one or two people at home tuned in to watch Real Madrid v Barcelona.

What does it mean for us? Not much, nothing has really changed. We still have plenty of games left to take back fourth spot but each one of them has to be played like it’s do or die. No complacency. No more mistakes. And perhaps some bravery from Harry in selection too. We have to consider that we might end up drawing at Chelsea and at Eastlands which means its the results in the other fixtures that will seal our fate. Forget about the points dropped, we have no other choice but to look forwards and to continue to believe we can make it.

We’ve come a long way. We’re no longer push-overs, we can take a punch and we can land a hay-maker of our own. But much like Arsenal we have gaps that need to be filled. We have the mental strength and the tenacity these days. Just need one or two additions and perhaps more of the shrewd from the gaffer.

One thing is for certain, we’re not the Tottenham of old, the team that rolled over like a cute puppy to be sat on by the bigger badder dog who hardly took notice if the little one. Guess the puppy grew up and took a massive bite out of its aggressor.

Arsenal must not be our benchmark (beating Man Utd remains the bane) but it’s a pretty nifty way of measuring our standard of competitiveness. The fact we've beaten them twice in the league recently and probably feel a little disappointed we didn't nick it last night places us pound-for-pound on the night, on equal pegging. Be it a few points off in the Prem to class it as a head-to-head.

We need to fill those gaps before they do.

We no longer fear. Other than dithering in the transfer window.

Tighten it up Tottenham. We're disappointed we didn't win. They're happy with the point. A sign of the times. Not to ruin the spectacle, but that's the crux of it. Even though I was happy with the line-up, it wasn't the perfect selection (hindsight) and finding ourselves three one down is hardly the best way to compete in a game we should have looked to win. But perhaps that's a touch too negative and harsh. Mistakes found us in that position, hardly errors of selection. Perhaps it is a benchmark after-all. When we find ourselves 3-1 up to the good against them, then it will truly be a sign that we've stepped it up once more.

Until then we need to improve our record against lower placed sides. We hardly ever lose at home in the league, and those dropped points remain the difference between sitting in 5^th and potentially being 3^rd or 2^nd as top tier clashes evidently can cancel each others hopes out.

Cracker of a game and another classic to add to the rest of them. London owns it again.

The cult of the confused

At what point does a players inability to be above average consistently elevate him from being a bit rubbish to a cult hero? What is a cult hero exactly? I've always associated the term with someone  that wasn't great and bullish enough to tap into the mainstream as a recognised top drawer player. Although you could tag a highly skilled luxury player or someone who played out of their skin and above their grade (even if they were blatantly out of their depth in doing so) for the shirt with the same backhanded compliment.

In modern times you might look no further than Steffen Freund as the perfect example. Plenty of posturing and screaming to make up for his distinct lack of anything. But legend they call him because he played with his heart on his sleeve. And sometimes his inane battle cries worked. But you can't help but love the blokes love for THFC and thus it doesn't matter how average a player he was, even though the fundamental crux of the matter is the football and how well you can play it.

Zokora is another player that had very little footballing astuteness. Loved his rampaging runs forward, single direction, forward in a straight line, no stopping, just forward until he either fell over or blasted the ball to the moon. He too had tenacity. Fantastic athlete just no grey matter.

Maybe cult isn't the right terminology here, but when exactly does a player become much maligned/hated/abused and when does he find categorisation as said 'cult' and thus excused for his failings because, well, he just wont make the grade so may as well accept him for what he is and love him unconditionally for at least giving something back, be it, in spurts of joy rather prolonged sessions of love.

Jenas is hardly cult. But much maligned he is. Why? Is it because we expect so much more from him? Or because he doesn't do a zany dance when we win games? Is cult simply a tolerable level of acceptance? A standard that can sometimes exist outside other standards because there's a necessity for this middle ground of footballers?

When we sat just above mid-table we sort of tolerated the likes of Zoko until we worked out he was not the answer to our defensive midfield frailties. But now we sit Top 4, contenders (we aspire to be) there is no room for this ilk of footballing 'star'. We need finished articles. Not random pages stripped out of comic books.

I find it humorous that one or two Spurs fans have suddenly labelled Wilson Palacios as a cult player because of the over excitable commitment he has shown in recent games, when not too long ago he was a 'destroyer', commanding as the stop-gap in midfield before personal issues consumed his confidence. Some of us are stretching the boundaries a little it seems.

Or say a player like Alfie Conn (if we choose to go back to the past) who was hardly rubbish but had a short yet memorable stay at the Lane and endeared himself to many whether it was ball at feet or sitting on top of it. A good type of cult? Talented but not a world beater.

The other end of the spectrum, you'll find Gary Doherty who was not good enough for the top flight, yet he tried bless him, boy did he try. His awarkdness, his lack of elegance, his ginger hair. A cult followers wet dream. But when you strip away the t-shirts what are you left with? Just a lad who was over-rated by those who signed him and over-used because of the lack of depth at the club at the time.

Would cult befit someone like John White? I don't think so. White is tinged with legend, a life cut short by a freak accident, a storming presence in our greatest ever side.

I've seen the phrase tagged onto the likes of van der Vaart, who is hardly someone benefiting from the vocal support of a minority. Hardly. Bit like calling Dimitar cult for the Berbarotic he subjected to us that had so many blinded for a season. But say vdV left us this summer, would that warrant cult status because his Lilywhite days would be nothing more than a pocket of appearances?

Is BAE cult? What with the two distinctive groups of support, one that rates him the other that is perpetually unsure?

Okay, so let's return to the first sentence of this article. At what point does a players inability to be above average consistently elevate him from being a bit rubbish to a cult hero? Do they simply require an occasional fire in the belly or marauding run and skill or perhaps something side splitting funny (row z again) to gain notoriety? One game or a glut of goals? Or inconsistency tinged with genius?

Is it in the eye of the beholder or is it a polite way of saying, you weren't that good, not great enough to be a legend but you did something that will not be forgotten. A gentle, respectful nod. Nothing more nothing less.

Thoughts?

Aston Villa away. 1-0 will do me just fine.

I've been off-line for a couple of days, returning to find the usual assortment of tabloid delights and a Made in Tottenham gem that will have your head shaking despondently.

Villa. Away. It's a biggie. Not just because we smashed Wigan 9-1 last week but also because a win would put us cushion-clear of MON's men and considering their impressive home record, would no doubt go a long way towards cementing our ambitions to remain Top 4 into the new year. Which isn't proving too tricky a task at the moment, even with the odd blip we manage to make room for. All eyes on Harry. With one single request from myself (and possibly all other Lilywhites):

Keep the same line-up.

That's right. Robbie, keep the bench warm son, you did a great job there last time out. No point messing with confidence and consistency. Right? We'll see. It wouldn't shock me if Harry did change it, because it's Villa and because it's away. Redknappology works in mysterious ways. But I'm going to wager he keeps it as it was (even if he's suggesting otherwise). Fuck it. I have no idea what he does, but no doubt if he changes it and we win, he's a genius, if he doesn't then cue tactical heartache and waving fists via message boards and blogs.

Rumours suggest (thanks to Archie over at SO) that BAE will play his last game for a while as he shoots off to France for treatment on a nagging stomach/groin issue. Which means we may be on the verge of the return of Gareth Bale to first team action, on a more semi-permanent basis (rather than the odd cameo). I rate Bale and unfortunately for the lad a mixture of the usual mis-management and shit form of his team mates + injuries was the catalyst for some pretty devastating confidence evaporation that was so bad at one point, he was linked with a move to Birmingham every other week (it's still happening). With us doing okay at the moment, I think a fully fit Bale can do a job for us if asked to slot into the left back position (if BAE is - as cited - going to be sidelined for a few games). If he's going to be a long term solution to the LB position then we need him to play Prem games consistently to find out if he does have true potential, rather than not. So this might work out to be a necessary experiment. We paid a lot of money for Gareth, there's something there. Let's not Blondel him into oblivion. Of course, same say he's better used as a LW. But we'll leave that for another time.

As for the game, pressure is on. Players talking about competing for the Top 4 once again on the back of that game against Wigan (you know the one), so best to avoid egg on face and swagger it all across the pitch once more with intent and end product. Although I don't actually care too much about performance. Yes, would love to see us play the sexy football and trounce Villa, but I'll happily see us battle, spill guts and blood and win with a deflected goal off a Villa defenders backside. 1-0. Three points. That will do me. Anything more and the club might start releasing a DVD every weekend.

Rumours also (keep those fingers and toes crossed for this one) that a certain little Croatian is fully fit and ready for a return although from the bench rather than a starting position. That's from the ITK's. Harry is a little more misty with return dates suggesting that he'll back soon rather than 8 weeks from now (as reported recently). It will be like having a brand spanking new £14M signing coming into the side, one that already knows how to dictate tempo and one that will galvanise all around him.

This is massive for us. Hold on for a sec...removing my heart from my chest and placing it on my sleeve. We could change gear and move up a level - which on current Prem form would suggest monopoly-destroying jigs for the WHL faithful (I'll regret this over the weekend, no doubt when we all start talking post-match about how the Europa League isn't too bad a second option). Move northwards, Tottenham, to avoid the temple of doom.

Elsewhere, we've signed (according to The Sun) another defender from Glasgow Rangers. Yeah, of course we have. Richards also re-linked. Has he been any good since he was...good?

And the club have done it again, this time with a 'I was there' framed collectable. Baby Jesus is not just weeping, he's having one. Toys and myrrh out of pram, the lot.  I understand that people involved in the clubs merchandising department are thinking first with their money-heads and second as Spurs fans because it's their job to come up with as many ways to take the fans money as possible. And I also think that if people are going to easily part with their money for such products they deserve to have their wallet lightened as often as possible because no doubt their world would fall apart if they didn't spend all their cash at the Spurs Shop. And if they're in there, they're nowhere near me. But for the love of God, there is no class or dare I say understatement about selling silliness on the back of what was a heavy win in our favour against...Wigan.

Yes, if you're aged 3-9 years then it's fine because kids don't know any better and it's a nice thing for them to associate the begining of their love affair with Spurs (which will no doubt see their youth ravaged in no time at all). Yes, freak result, and possibly the only recent occasion where a DVD of the game is 'okay' to make but this item is just a little bit sickly for my tastes.

If Paul Barber is reading this, I'm just stating opinion. It's not derogatory to the club (just in case I get a an email telling me it's in my terms and conditions to behave myself and promote nothing but goodness). Oh and Paul - good luck chief with your move across to the MLS. Big move. Big money. Don't go introducing unwanted colour streaks in their kits though, not for a couple of years at least. You know, get some good in before the bad.

FA Cup draw on Sunday. Expect us to get a Sky Sports Elite Top 4 side away.

COYS

More later...

Penalty? Who cares?

Morning. Just some random thoughts on the weekend:

Everton's defending. Akin to blindfolding schoolboys and feeding them ketamine.

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How about that Crystal Palace goal ruled out because the officials failed to see the ball fly into the back of the net? Here's a clue it was legit. The scorer wheeled off to celebrate followed by his team mates and the opposition looked down at the ground in despondency of conceding the goal. What exactly did the ref think was going on? Some kind of elaborate illusion? Let's pretend we scored and we might fool everyone we did. No surprise the officials have been suspended pending a little review.

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According to Mark Hughes, re: their chase for Lescott and Moyes criticism of City:

"I'm not surprised David feels a bit aggrieved with the situation, you always are when a big club is trying to sign one of your best players."

I didn't know Spurs were interested in signing Lescott? Well in.

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So was it a penalty or not? Rafa is balling his eyes out about it. BAE barging Voronin off the ball. On the basis of the game as a whole - we deserved to win. Statistically, they didn't get anywhere near us. And the fact that the first penalty (the one given) was an absolute gift should be a clear indication that the Spanish waiter should spend a little more time concentrating on his side fragmented play which lacked any sort of rhythm and decisiveness. The only other effort of note on goal was yet another penalty claim, again BAE involved, the ball hitting his chest (at least that's what it looked like to me) and even if it did hit his arm it would have been harsh to point to the spot. Ekotto enjoying his day.

As for us, feet firmly back on the ground. Right? The euphoria of claiming thee points in our opening game of the season is over. I was already high on the fact that we were given a home fixture to kick-off the season for the first time in 5 or so years. Perhaps the FA's IT guys have finally found and eliminated the Trojan virus left in the fixture list computer software that David Dein carefully planted many years ago. Regardless, having partied into the night with generous quantities of coke and hookers, I'm now having to be a little more philosophical about Sunday. Yes, we won. Several of our players battled well. Liverpool were fairly crap with little clout around the midfield area making it comfortable for Wilson and Tommy.

We are not exactly push-overs at home either (1 loss in 23), so perhaps the win wasn't as unexpected as it appeared to be to some. Not taking anything away from the result or the performance. Well I am I guess. Just placing it into perspective. It's Hull away where we find out if we have the right stuff for competing in the top-half of the table, the bit where 6th and 5th place sit. We've managed to compete against the Top 4 more and more over the past season or so. It's the pesky 'small teams' that need to be brushed aside.

Still, three points - one game. Opening day nose-bleeds are lush. I'll leave you with another gem from Studs-Up. Enjoy.

Sing a song for Seb

Spurs 2 Liverpool 1

Now wasn’t that just a perfect way to start the season? Three points, more than we accumulated in the opening eight of last season – so I reckon there's no fear of re-writing the history books this season. Two goals from defenders, both made in Cameroon. The winning one from a debutant who we all thought wouldn’t be able to play. It wasn’t a classic, but unlike last year’s 2-1 mugging of Liverpool this time round we thoroughly deserved the spoils.

First half was untidy, especially the opening 30 minutes where neither side was able to put their foot on the ball. Meaning there was plenty of scrappy play and no real attacking excitement. Credit to Harry for starting Huddlestone and more so the positioning of Tommy took up, swapping with Palacios, driving forward a number of times, taking it in turns, protecting each other’s offensive play. Got to say seeing Wilson run forward with the ball with intent has made me re-think a few things regarding our structure in the middle of the park. Wilson isn’t just going to be the brick wall between defence and the forward line. I guess it’s all about confidence. Team have belief so this allows certain players a little more freedom of expression. And as for Tom, he handled himself superbly out there. Messy game that it was in the first half hour, he never looked out of position or left wanting. Liverpool’s midfield was contained without us sacrificing too much when we began to turn the screws a little.

Robbie Keane had three decent chances. Should have scored the header, probably better off drilling his second chance low rather than attempting to chip it and for his third he had more than enough time to control look up and place it. All forgiven after the 44^th minute. Where the hell did that Bennie shot come from? Last player on the pitch I expect to see power in a thunderous shot from outside the box. Well worked free-kick (wink) saw Hudd’s effort hit the wall and then Beniot Assou-Ekotto decided to show the big man how to hit the back of the net with a cracking effort that took everyone by surprise. More of that please. Brilliant finish, 1-0. Half-time. Game on.

More than obvious how the second half would pan out. Liverpool opened the game up a little by pushing forward which allowed us to counter. Bit more of the end to end stuff. Aaron went on an early mazzy run. Should have passed, and he'll learn from that. As long as Harry has a word on the training ground. One touch too many, otherwise we might have been in for number two. It’s probably too easy to start analysing the game and saying that we need someone in midfield who can kill the tempo, bring it down to a pace we control so we can conduct the play rather than soak up the pressure that Liverpool were having. Wilson and Luka will probably begin to do this as the season gathers motion.

But for all their ball hugging, Liverpool lacked the midfielder who could play a clever disguised pass or supply a creative spark to do any real damage. Well, that was until Johnson drove forward and Gomes (who was steady as you like through-out the 90 minutes) had one moment of madness, which to be fair is the type of thing most keepers are guilty of. Brings down the man, nowhere near the ball. Penalty. Stevie Me strikes it down the middle and suddenly its nails to mouth time.

This, IMO, was the moment of truth. How would we handle ourselves? Would the mentality hold strong or would we allow Liverpool to take the initiative? Took three minutes for the answer to be delivered, off the head of Sebastien Bassong. Now that’s a response. No apologetic nonsense, just get up the field and look to make amends. Up he climbed to guide the ball in from Luka’s free-kick, past Reina to make it 2-1.

Not long after that the match deteriorated with several lulls and messy periods of play, but still our midfield worked hard. Look, this was in no way a perfect performance. Some of the passing wasn’t great. Modric was stuck out on the left somewhat, and couldn’t really get a stranglehold on the game and Lennon wasn’t as industrious as we know he can be. But this was the first game of the season and it was up against Liverpool – not a great Liverpool, but still – we can’t take anything away from the grafting done.

Should Rafa's men have been given a second penalty? It’s the kind of decision that tends to go the way of the big teams. Maybe the ref got mixed up today.

We saw out the match to the very end with the usual one or two textbook moments of concern (knowing how good they are with last minute goals), but when it was over, it was three richly deserved points. Love to see the stats for this. I’d say we had far more efforts on goal than they did and far more clear cut chances. Rafa will have to stroke that beard plenty to work out how to replace the grace of Alonso.

Excellent display. Triffic job done.

• King had Torres in his pocket all day long. He's an absolute monster of a player. All this with no training and a dodgy knee.
• Bassong was assured and the goal a wonderful way to begin life at the Lane.
• Moddle was a little off the pace, but it’s the first day and his work rate was decent. It's no like he was isolated and ineffective.
• Defoe held the ball up well and Keane had a little bit of his buzz back. When he does score, he’ll probably reclaim his form, pre-Anfield nightmare.
• Lennon was contained at times, when he got away his end product (it’s the main gripe) was a little inconsistent, but we all know its where the development needs to be in his play.
• Wilson was simply exceptional. Defensively a rock and showed he can be more than useful going forward. Cracking effort on goal.
• Can’t complain too much about Gomes. Penalty aside (how often do we see keepers do this?) he had very little to do and what he did he did well.
• Huddlestone shocked me. Didn’t quite expect him to look solid in there, considering how frantic the opening 30 minutes was, especially up against a hard-working Liverpool midfield. Passed well, looked good on the ball and off it. Can’t say he did anything to frustrate me. I guess it’s kudos to having a player like Palacios lining up beside you. Hudd stepped up and did a job. Against lesser opposition he'll be able to spend a little more time threading balls and fulfilling the quarter-back role.
• BAE and Corluka also comfortable. Charlie in particular played Babel out of the game. BAE and his thunder-bolt. Stunning.
• Pav and Crouch had late cameos, but too late for them to get a foot into the game.

No real gripe other than we need to learn to how to take control of games and dictate and not sit back and invite.

I’m chuffed. Good start to the season. Squad looks to be sharp and ready for the challenge. Liverpool were disjointed, only occassional dangerous - but never easy to break down.

Well done 'arry. The next test is away at Hull. Another three please.

Ding dong, Spurs are on song

Smoggie, Tranporter Bridge, James Cook, Paul Daniels, drug dealers, Roy Chubby Brown, youths with no front teeth, town not a city, the Parmo, Chris Rea - can you hear me, Chris Rea! Your boys took one hell of a beating! Your boys took one hell of beating!

Four goals. Clean sheet. Some more than decent passing and movement. Lennon (still) on fire. Modric pulling the strings. Keane off the mark. Pulling away from the drop zone. Three wins from a UEFA Cup spot. Knighthood on the cards for Redknapp. Opus available for £19.99 at the club shop. Bent playing down the middle of the pitch. Daniel Levy retires from football.

Ok, getting a little carried away. Back to reality.

4-0 win. Excellent response from the players. With so many games sandwiched together this past 2 weeks, Boro (much like Sunderland on Saturday) probably fancied their chances against a half-tired Spurs team welcoming back the 'rested' Keane and Palacios (Woody also declared fit for duty). Even though Boro started brightly anytime Lennon got hold of the ball and whizzed forward you sensed we'd be scoring goals and it was simply a case of how many based on how many we would concede in order to come out on top, because we are bound to concede, right? Well no, wrong.

Tuncay had opportunities and a disallowed goal. Downing, very early on, gave it a go to no avail. It was soon apparent that Boro's victory over Liverpool had more to do with Rafas men being outstandingly poor rather than Southgate masterminding a genius result.

We went one up thanks to Keane being left unmarked at the far post and after the disallowed Tuncay let-off, made it two with Modric (ooh that dummy!) laying it on for Pav and then three before half-time with Lennon notching his first after a wonderful passing move that included some great possession football.

Obviously, Boro being shit isn't enough of a guarantee for us to simply show up to claim the points. We're a soft touch at the best of times. In games like this we need to turn up and turn it on. And we did just that. Got lucky at the back a couple of times, but there was confident football on display, and a bit of hunger and desire going forward. Wasn't by any stretch of the imagination a dominating victory but it was a reminder of the quality we do possess and what happens when we knock it around with a little bit of swagger. And yes, it was still Boro and up and coming opposition won't be this easy to pull apart.

But a win was required and a win is what the players and management gave us, so well done to all.

Sunderland away up next (which no doubt will be a bruising encounter) is where we need to show another side to our digging deep ethos. An ethos missing for the best part of the season from one week to the next. Harry, who is much maligned for his soundbites, is probably quietly aiming for us to finish as high as possible, but will continue to downplay it for greater effect. As long as the players know that beating Boro was simply one step in the right direction.

What makes this season a complete mockery is that as mediocre as we've been on so many many occasions, we are still a handful of points adrift of West Ham who have only won 3 more games than us all season. And they're meant to be having a good one. And yet two defeats might see us pulled back into the mire at the bottom. A fully confident swashbuckling Spurs side wouldn't have a single Spurs fan worried about the relegation scrap. Half a swashbuckling side will see us right. We've got more than half at the minute. Harry has to make sure the expectation level is just about right to see us through to the final game.

The fact we didn't disgrace ourselves at Wembley proves we can still muster up the big day occasion too, and even though we have some tricky opposition ahead of us, I'm certain we'll compete and pick up some unexpected points. It was nice to see us compete against the lesser opposition last night. Bread and butter.

Back to the game, Boro came back in the second half with us a just a little on the back foot, but still didn't stop us notching up a 4th. Happy days.

Lennon's burst of pace and his trademark mazy runs. Modric's dummy for the Pav goal. Both stuck smiles back on the faces of the faithful.

BAE continues to impress. Pavyluchenko's work ethic is also under-rated (he'll be twice the player once he's 100% after the summer). Darren Bent however just doesn't do it for me. I'm not the only person to note he's always wondering to wide positions. Jenas was quiet, Palacios good but not great (saving that extra bit of energy for the games ahead) and Keane showing us a glimpse of what we've been missing. All in all, some individuals excelled, whilst others didn't have to bother.

Well done. We needed that. We need it again on Saturday.