Luka and ITK mathematics

Luka Modric to Manchester United for £25M. That makes sense. It makes sense we were rejecting £40M bids from Chelsea last summer and would now take a hefty price cut on the valuation of the player so that we could make a divisional competitor even stronger on the cheap.

Does the player still want out? Probably. There's no denying it's about the wages more than anything, far more than Champions League itself (much like Redknapp alluded too the other day). Even if we finished 4th and got into Europe's elite competition, the player (and agent) would still look to orchestrate another attempted move. Why?

125k per week
Several million pounds for the agent via fee

That's two reasons.

Levy made his stand and his point last summer with the player and Chelsea/Dail Mail's attempts to sign him, retaining his services for the 2012 season. It's not rocket science to think he will appear to do the exact same thing this summer, but with one small detail of difference. If we do receive a bid that meets the players valuation, then we'll let him go. That's OUR valuation and not the Manchester United supporting tabloid journalist's valuation when attempting to broker the deal via back page hype, without source or quotes.

I'm not even sure what my point is now. Shouldn't really be expecting anything different from the 'news feeds', especially this time of year. What's wonderful about this particular Luka story is the matter of fact title 'Luka Modric to join Man Utd' and this gem of knowledge planted in the middle of the 'article':

The Croatian said he had no intention of quitting Spurs having signed a six-year deal in May 2010.

Had no intention? Back in 2010? What about last summer dickhead? Surely if you're going to make stuff up there's a time and place for it and stating the truth would actually fit in better with the agenda, on this particular occasion.

I can't see our chairman bending over for them, not with their past form (Carrick, Berbatov) and with the no-way stance of last summer. Okay, so we always bend over for them, but there's been so much control with our 'we won't be selling our best players' mantra over the past two seasons that...who am I kidding? Words are just words. Levy knows how to drag it out. Whatever happens will be because he wants it to happen and its conclusion will satisfy everyone.

So if they want our prize commodity (which will mean we have to change the way we play-make and shape up in midfield) then they need to compensate us for the detrimental impact it will have on us and the bitter reality that they will become stronger off the back of it.

I guess my point, the crux of it, is that these tabloid stories are always about appeasing the club attempting/chasing the signing rather than perhaps seeing a headline that states:

"Spurs tell Utd: £40M or forget about it"

Elsewhere?

I've layed off from ITK bashing for a while now as there is hardly any difference between them and the tabloids. I don't for a second think there are no people with connections (some strong, some tenuous) that might be privy to information. That never means said information can be trusted as there is only one certainty in football and that is the lies and game-playing agents/football clubs/players swim around in to get what they want. If you have info, share it if you wish to share it. Do so with transparency if you can (or not to protect yourself or the source). Sadly with Spurs we appear to have around 40 or so people that claim to have inside knowledge of what is going on and they all seem to hang around online, cryptically teasing us with non-events of tittle tattle in closed off membership forums.

Possibly the best thing I've seen that sums it all up is an ITK answering questions relating to whether we are interested in signing anyone to replace Luka if/when Luka is sold. His response:

Replacement(s)

Yes. We might have a replacement or more than one replacement lined up. But can't tell you anything more than that because I'd be giving it all away so I'll add an 's' in brackets to the back end of the word 'replacement' to leave it all ambiguous and mysterious, like I know something that you don't but I'll remain non-committal about it.

Do one.

Nobody is interested in whether you know something you can't share. If you can't share it don't go telling us you can't share it. It has no relevance in the public domain. You're better off making something up, which is what most people do 99% of the time.

I'm on my period, deal with it.

I miss the days of Teletext and Monday mornings at school where everyone would discuss the weekends football. I remember following Gascoigne's transfer to Spurs via the very same maligned tabloid back pages. You knew the player signed when the player actually signed. I miss those innocent days of the late 80s. That and skipping past white dog poo in the street.

Jog on

So just checking in after a Saturday spent off-line and behold the lack of imagination from the press.

Modric is still leaving even after the club stated he would not, under any circumstances, be sold for any price. But still they can't let go, persisting in brokering a deal for him to Chelsea via the back pages. This leads into the 'fact' that Luka's inevitable guaranteed departure means that Gareth Bale will follow him like a rat deserting a sinking ship. 

One season in the bright lights obviously all we're allowed, so dismantle Tottenham they will this summer.

If that isn't enough (and it's obviously not) further fabrication is added to the mix with yet another repeat show (Lennon to Liverpool) and some still persist with the 'rumours' that Sandro will be moved on after a single season at Spurs for a measly £12M.

Patiently waiting for Darren Lewis to share with us another quote from five years ago.

Give it a rest you insufferable *****. Your relentless hard-on for us is an embarrassment.

We are here to stay. Deal with it.

Which newspapers are ITK?

Found this over on Glory Glory. If anyone knows the source of this information, please share so I can credit (and also confirm audit time frame).

Pretty certain other 'transfer' websites that fall outside the category of tabloids/broadsheets have equally low accuracy percentages. Not that we'd expect anyone to have high prediction rates. It's not a case of pointing out how wrong they are most of the time rather the quantity of articles and transfer stories produced for the sake of hype. If the media only published fact on potential transfers they'd never print anything. You have to accept a hit consisting of insider scoured gossip, agent talk and destabilising conjecture.

The below simply illustrates just how far certain publications will go and how little even our friends in the media know. Proving that in most cases, you only know of a transfer as it progresses through the stage of contract talks and medicals...because the club/agent/player has allowed said info to be released into the wild.

Average number of articles posted per day:

The top 10 most rumoured clubs for transfers (what a shocker):

1. Tottenham
2. Arsenal
3. Birmingham
4. Man Utd
5. West Ham
6. Udinese
7. Man City
8. Barcelona
9. Lille
10. Villa

Top of the league.

Update on Wednesday, June 15, 2011 at 2:57PM by spooky

Found the source: FootballTransferLeague co.uk.

Interesting footnote:

Figures are based on all rumours we have that have been resolved (player has transfered or signed a new contract). FTL rumour data goes back to the start of summer 2006 transfer window.

Spurs are not willing to sell Modric AND Bale

Tottenham will not be entertaining any bids for their key players this summer, news that will disappoint the likes of Manchester United and Chelsea along with dozens of journalists and sports writers across the country.

Luka Modric and Gareth Bale - both on long term contracts will remain at White Hart Lane as the North London club look to reignite their push for a Champions League spot next season.

Dearmrlevy.com understands that chairman Daniel Levy will only sell players considered to be surplus to requirements. The likes of Alan Hutton and Jamie O'Hara, more viable transfer targets for any one looking to spend some cash in N17.

The main focus for the chairman and manager, Henry James 'Harry' Redknapp, is to pin point new recruits with a centre-forward the main goal for the club. Daniel Levy has already reiterated they will not be selling any of their key players and are in a strong position to once more battle for a top four place if they strengthen their squad accordingly.

A source within the walls of White Hart Lane revealed, "I think people are using their hands to count up numbers in the dark rather than a trusted calculator in the light of day. £20M-£25M for a player Spurs paid £16.5M for is laughable considering his form and quality and even more so that Levy would be willing to entertain offers from a Champions League club as though we're sat 10th in the table with no hope of further progression".

The source also stated '...you wouldn't sell someone a twenty pound note for a quid'.

Luka Modric himself recently spoke about his desire to stay, "The fans are amazing, the club is amazing. There are Croatians here. I really do enjoy it here. I’m not missing anything. I think this club can achieve a lot of great things. I think we can challenge for the Premier League and the cups".

Welsh wizard Gareth Bale also pledged his loyalty to the Lilywhites in an Interview with Sky Sports News. But there are suggestions from some quarters that perhaps CGI and audio manipulation were used in both instances by Tottenham to hide the reality that both players are desperate for a move away.

Elsewhere, tabloid newspapers will wait another three days before rehashing the same quotes with additional ambiguity and citing Modric and Bale as £18M targets (value will drop with each exclusive) as they continue to unofficially broker a deal for any Champions League side that might be theoretically interested. Along with Juventus.

Potential replacements for Modric will only cost around £8M because it's the right amount of money to spend when replacing a player that is worth anywhere between £30M - £40M in todays inflated market.

In other news, if Manchester United or Chelsea or Manchester City for that matter do not sign Modric or Bale this summer, they most definitely will the following because Tottenham can't possibly finish back in the top four and retain their key players a second successive summer if they return to Europe's elite competition. That is simply not a viable scenario and we shall not speak of it again.

Choke on your cornflakes

Sports writers, if you're going to make up some sh*t about Luka Modric and suggest a proposed transfer figure can you please have the common courtesy to do the player and his club some justice with something far more realistic.

£20M for a player arguably the best midfielder in the country, currently on a long term contract?

Jog on and stop trying to appease United.

It's going to be a long summer. 

We need a new Plan A to go with our Plan B (cheeky bids accepted for Plans C and D)

20^th Jan. The date. Today. First month of the year heading towards it's conclusion. Not long then until the transfer window shuts again and all we’ve learnt thus far is that we don’t really have an outstanding target with regards to resolving the forward conundrum.

Has Keane gone yet? Nope. Pav is apparently a Sunderland hopeful. Crouch – well, most of you want him sold but there’s little chance of Harry ridding the squad of his Plan B. Which leaves us with JD playing up top as our main man. Defoe, a sort of Plan B+ rather than a fully fledged Plan A. 

So we’re left with the usual rehashed links (Fabiano, Suarez, Rossi) to add to the likes of Carroll and...actually I think that’s it. No other available strikers in world football currently. Just the aforementioned mob.

Which is why I’m beginning to settle back in the comfort of my sofa and ignore all the hype and stories and ITK nonsense, because from the looks it, we are in for another last minute wheeler-dealer moment of magic from the chairman, with Harry on the sidelines giving the nod and thumbs up. I’d place actual money on a new major signing if...if Keane and Pav go in the next two weeks. If it goes down to the wire, if we’re on deadline day and Jim White has his beef in his hand behind the desk at Sky Sports News, then that last minute moment of magic might wholly rely on plenty of last minute cheeky bids for the two forwards that our gaffer doesn’t fancy.

  Plan B. Good mic skills for a white man.

Keane is gone in mind. West Ham perhaps. Doubt he’ll get away with claiming them lot as his (other other) boyhood club. Pav is the key to all this. But, like I said, if it goes down to the wire and the club await the Russian to be sold before making a move then it’s going to completely depend on magic.

Or perhaps foundations have already been laid down in preparation and the last minute transfer deals are never as manic and desperate as they seem. Just chairman and managers waiting until it’s too late to do anything but take a risk.

And what of the player we’ve actually signed? Piennar?

Two things to muse about here.

I quite like the theory that the only reason Chelsea bid for him was to force us into spending some of our treasured money from the war chest (to weaken it) when the ideal (original scenario) was to bring in the player for free in the summer. Conspiracy theory anyone? Honestly, make up your own ridiculous story arc, I don’t know, maybe about one where a player rejects Chelsea to join Spurs instead. Craaaaaazy!

The other point is – it’s a good signing. It’s not the big sexy player Harry wants to aid with pushing us onto the next level, but he’s a player who will cover in key areas. Seems Niko has joined dos Santos in the forgotten lounge of...sorry, who was I talking about again? And Piennar is/was Everton’s player of the season (2010) and we all know that Everton are more work ethic than glitz and glam, so for the money paid – I’m happy with this. Gut feeling, it’s going to be one of those almost sort of under the radar unspectacular types of signings that just does what it says on the  tin with additional thanks to little expectancy or pressure from the stands.

But alas, we still await that game changer. Best transfer story of non-eventfulness has to be the one about us 'saving' Joe Cole from his Liverpool nightmare. That takes the award. Standing ovation.

Shame feeder club Real Madrid don’t have any players to throw our way this time round.



Rooney (off-topic)

So, basically one of three things:

1) All this was a ploy orchestrated by Fergie and aided by Rooney to get more money and promises from the Glazers in relation to transfers etc

2) Rooney signs a contract meaning that if sold in Jan or the summer, United can now demand a massive fee, rather than losing him for nothing

3) Rooney held the club to ransom and got what he wanted. What a hero.

Let's look on the bright side. At least all the ridiculous stories linking us with him can be placed to bed once and for all so we can now concentrate on signing Rivaldo.

Levy, don't even think about it

Dear Mr Levy,

I'll get straight to the point.

Leyton high road, in-between the KFC and Orient is Coronation Gardens. Lovely place, probably the only place in Leyton where you won't find a bed mattress or broken television every few feet as you walk briskly along. What you will find are some park benches, specifically the ones that face the high road, near the bus stop. And here, on Fridays and most weekends you will see Whiskey Tom. You can't really miss him to be honest. Stinks to high heaven, always intoxicated on Tennents, puking up against walls, screaming at the trees. He's about forty-five, looks sixty. Scruffy beard, stained clothes. You get the picture. He's a hobo, a tramp. Probably has some mighty deep story about how he ended up on the streets, but you'll never get past his ramblings to ever know.

He's a fruit loop. My personal favourite was the time he pissed in his boots and chased a number 357 bus screaming till his lungs burst that 'Satan's seed needed to be purified'. Go visit, he's always there. Not sure what he does for the rest of the week, but probably sleeps it off in some squat somewhere. Or just uses one of the many street-beds you get in that part of east London.

If you want to sign someone on a free, then I suggest Tom. To my knowledge he has absolutely no associations with Chelsea and Arsenal and even though his plight appears to be one of sadness, he's actually quite content with his little kingdom of desolation. You'll never find him sitting in the middle of the street crying. Standing up and urinating over cars, guaranteed on a Saturday night.

Don't say I didn't give you the heads up.

regards,

Spooky

Bale and the Old Lady

I'd love a job where I could turn up in the morning and make some shit up with nothing to back up my claims and still get it signed off by my manager and approved and then published. No talent required. Just the ability to write ambiguous nonsense. Better still a job where I'm tasked with writing something for the sake of aiding an agenda. Substance is over-rated, right?

Bale to Juventus. A perfect illustration.

Tiresome.

Wank story which first did the rounds a while back along with the Bale to Birmingham stories that persisted before his renaissance began. In fact, this Juv link was possibly birthed and borrowed via the Italian press who are no doubt attempting to aid The Old Lady by suggesting Bale would be available on the cheap. A case of the Italian media creating some transfer hype and our media copy and pasting it. Testing the waters the aim of the game to see just how much Spurs might be willing to tag on the young Welsh star. Such is the plight of Serie A and it's loss of grace, they whore themselves via the tabloids. Bale would probably be boss out there, but he'd need a time machine to go back to an age when their league was golden. It's hardly that now.

So well done the media once more. Let's print some crap about Spurs but continue our campaign to turn Theo Walcott into some form of England international saviour by continuously publishing photos of him in non-sports sections of newspapers to keep him safe in the hearts and minds of the public (he's got a fit girlfriend too) and highlighting his odd goal and speed (he's fast, can't pass for shit, but he's fast) even though he's been predominately shite for 3-4 years and would be nowhere near the England squad if he played for anyone else. 150+ games for club, and about 10 half decent performances lost somewhere in there. But hey, he's English and plays for Arsenal so he must be good. Talking of which...

Forza Barca, innit? Messi was ridiculous. As was Andy Gray's commentating that was beyond bias. Yes, do (that's you Sky Sports) feel free to be pro-English clubs but do try and leave the hypocrisy and contradictions at home next time (that's you Andy). If you happened to watch the game on a stream (pwoper norty) you'd have heard Gooner Richard Keyes colourful words on the game including the golden "You've been shite son with your daft pink boots". Guess who he was chatting about? Very funny to hear the waxed one doing a Fanzone, unintentionally, and unaware he could be heard by one or two non-Sky Sports subscribers. There was even a Fart-gate incident in the studio. Hilarity.

Anyways (sidetracked there) I'm content with the purchase (Bale) we made from Soton. Walcott was rumoured to have agreed a move to us before changing his mind last minute. Phew. Our Azza had his moments when he looked to be nothing more than a speed merchant. He progressed. Bale? Progressing. Think we can smile about that. Theo does do a mighty good impersonation of Henry though with the posturing and blank moody face. All we got are big ears hidden by plenty of hair and a shaved eyebrow. Not quite newsworthy that.

There was a time when there was questions raised about how badly we handled Bale's development. Injuries, shattered confidence - credit to Harry Redknapp there for managing the situation with some finesse. 2012 is when his contract ends. So Levy, sign up that boy for an extra 5 years. Make it a priority. Would make it one less player the tabloids can badger us about. And we need to be keeping Old Man Fergie away a little bit longer too.