Understanding the Jan Vertonghen transfer saga
Sunday, May 27, 2012 at 9:57PM The transfer negotiation between Spurs and Ajax...
Daniel Levy: That's my bid.
Ajax: It does not meet our valuation for the player.
Daniel Levy: Okay. I will raise it by one pound.
Ajax: Rejected.
Daniel Levy: I will raise it by a further single pound.
Ajax: No.
Daniel Levy: I'd like to add another pound to the total offered.
Ajax: Someone get me a coffee.
Several weeks later...
Daniel: I raise the bid by another pound.
Ajax: No, I mean...hold on. Yes, okay. Accepted. You have met our valuation for the player. Now we must discuss the payment plan.
Daniel: Ten million carrier pigeons each carrying a pound coin on their back, blindfolded and with a drop of ketmaine injected into their...
Ajax: No.
Daniel: Tesco coupons to the value of the agreed transfer sum.
Ajax: No.
Daniel: Vintage Kenner Star Wars action figures, still wrapped in original packing to the value of the agreed transfer sum.
Ajax: Would that also include the Millennium Falcon from Return of the Jedi?
Daniel: No.
Ajax: Okay. Then my answer is no.
Daniel: Two crates. One crate has the full amount in copper coins. The other contains a box set of the full series of The Wire. You won't know which is which. Noel Edmonds will ask you to select and...
Ajax: Another coffee please.
Reader Comments (27)
1st??
Why not pay the fee in all the unsold copies of the Opus?
Now you know who the Terry Tibbs character was based on. Much love!
Made me almost wet myself... very funny and very true hahaha
i had more fun tied to a radiator than i did reading that.
Nice one; just had a right bubble at the thought of our very own Dr. Evil raising his pinky to his mouth every time he increased his offer. Darren Eales, with an eye patch, sat at to one side and slightly behind him.
Ha! love it. And its even more funny cos it rings soooo true.
it's not that it's true, it's not that it's funny....
it's nearly funny and nearly true, sadly!!
Brilliant!
think it is probably agreed now just need to wait for vertonghen to do his medical before it gets announced! now offer £19M for damiao and get that deal done aswell!! we need to get are main transfer business out the way before pre-season so the team can gel.COYS!!
Ha ha. Brilliant. Can actually see it now. I salute you good sir.
v good. no other club is scrutinised like ours, for whatever reason. it's what makes us unique i spose. all upto DL now to either make us all proud over the summer or feel like utter *%$£s.
defoe to reading for 10.5 million rising to 19.5 if he scores 3 goals plus all madjeski gate receipts against london opposition in cup games till 2025.
Finally! I was wondering why this transfer saga was going on for so long. Now I understand...so this should carry on for a few more months then.
Very funny Spooky....it's the detail that makes it so believable!
Someone on another site described Levy's transfer dealings as using "The Forsyth Saga" method!
I am sure the deal is done. Probably levy's sadistic side wanting to watch us suffer, as if those the on the field antics and harry don't do that
I think Levy makes the one and only bid on every player but just calls back every 30 minutes to check if the situation has changed. He might come out with 'I noticed the value of the Euro has increased.....' or 'Property prices have decreased in Amsterdam' my money is worth more today than yesterday'.
Levy makes me think of Tom Cruise's character in Tropic Thunder.
There is in fact some sense to Alan's tongue in cheek comments about the value of the Euro. I am sure the deal is in fact done but it's just a question of timing, i.e. when will Tottenham part with their cash. I am sure our accountant has got his eye on the exchange rate
i believe deal is done but it may be our only headline deal so why not drag it out to make us feel good.
I once bought a car off Danny Levis, still paying for it and the car is useless i took it back and he laughed and said welcome to spurs. He could not offer me money but instead threw in two players and Dos santos to do my cleaning , i refused as i suspected jenas was one of the players and i will be stuck with him.
If only getting deals done was as simple as some think, although it's probably also true to say that Spurs commercial people tend to make them about as complex as any club can these days.
They only seem to take forever because of the impatience of football supporters.
Spooky, don't you think our patience has been well tested over the last 4-5 transfer windows? We lost out on Cahill through a similar ( from what we have been told) senario and it cost us dear. Think I'll tune in to the test match, loads more action there than in a Daniel Levi transfer saga.
That was your funniest one for ages, good stuff
It has been tested, but this time we're actually attempting to sign someone. In the past, not too sure half the players we've been linked with have been actual genuine targets.
Spot on wid this! Quite frankly our chairman is a plum got lucky with the VDV transfer couple windows back n now thinks he can do everyone on da cheap!! Its basically his cheapskate attitude that has us where we r..outside lookin in!! Two years ago when we made top 4 serious investment should've been made in the team to kick on!! Didnt happen so now we back to square one!!!!
Another plaudit spooks, that was indeed pwopa funny, made me laugh out load