Spurs, black helicopters and men in black - The Truth is out there...
Sunday, April 26, 2009 at 2:44PM Half-time at Old Trafford
Disguised Voice: Don't leave this game alone, Agent Webb.
Webb: What?
Disguised Voice: They will not tolerate a buck to the trend.
Webb: Who are you?
Disguised Voice: I, er, can be of help to you. I've had a certain interest in your work.
Webb: How do you know about my work?
Disguised Voice: Well, let's just say that I'm in a position to know quite a lot of things, er, things about our game.
Webb: Who are you? Who do you work for?
Disguised Voice: It's unimportant; I came here to give you some valuable advice. You are exposing yourself and your fellow professionals to unnecessary risk, I advise you to change the game.
Webb: I can't do that.
Disguised Voice: You have much work to do, Agent Webb, don't jeopardise the future of your own efforts.
--
Post-match in the away dressing room
Bond: Would you explain to me what's going on.
Redknapp: I think they re-wired Webb's brain. Some kind of selective memory drain.
Bond: The brain doesn't work like that, Harry. You can't just go in and erase certain files.
Redknapp: Then you explain it to me.
Bond: There's a type of Narcolepsy th..
Redknapp: This is not Narcolepsy, I think it's something far more deliberate and insidious.
Bond: All I'm saying, is that the science or medical technology to do what you are suggesting, does not exist.
Redknapp: And neither does the technology to re-watch the type of controversy we saw yesterday.
--
In the aftermath of the game
DEEP THROAT: Your life may be in danger.
Harry: Why?
DEEP THROAT: Mmm, you've seen things that weren't to be seen. Care and discretion, are now imperative.
Harry: I saw something I...
DEEP THROAT: As I said, I can provide you with information, but only so long as it's in my best interest to do so.
Harry: What is your interest?
DEEP THROAT: The truth.
Harry: I did see something, but it's gone, they took it from me, they erased it. You have to tell me what it was.
DEEP THROAT: Three points? Mr. Redknapp, why are those like yourself, who believe in the existence of a Premier League illuminati in this country, not dissuaded by all the evidence to the contrary?
Redknapp: Because, all the evidence to the contrary, is not entirely dissuasive.
DEEP THROAT: Precisely.
Redknapp: They're here, aren't they?
DEEP THROAT: Mr. Redknapp, they've been here for a long long time.
Redknapp: Triffic.
Re-worked from the X-Files episode 'Deep Throat (1x01) written by Chris Carter - from the excellent transcript from the Generation Terrorists site.
Reader Comments (16)
I WANT TO BELIEVE
Let's move on I'm guessing is the subtle message.
Wasn't a penalty, no conspiracy, but if the tables were turned it's probable the ref would not have given it.
He (Webb) didn't see it clearly, so gave it because where he was standing there was a chance it was a foul, even though he had no clear way of knowing , so arguably he should not have given it as there must have been doubt, so Webb was wrong and weak in doing what he did.
Happens all the time I'm afraid. I think it's been made to be more than it is because it was Man Utd.
Is Joe Jordan Scully?
Webb was a joke. Painfully poor decision. But our reaction to it was far more gut wrenching. We need to take injustice and turn it for us. Heads down? How about heads up, chests out and go right a wrong instead of gifting four more goals to them.
What's funny is that Spooky didn't have to re work the original text that much.
You would have lost anyway.
It's not just another bad decission at old traford that makes me sick, It's not just the way our lot caved in yet again that makes me sick, it's the fact that we all expect this crap to happen every season, have a moan, but put up with it, instead of someone doing something about it, that really makes me want to vomit. All fans and clubs outside of Man ure know the score when it comes O.T'd, how much longer are we all going to just shrug our shoulders, and pretend it doesn't matter.
Old trafford have a great record a home much better have others in the top 4 and after watching the match Im getting a much clearer picture why..
DEAR FELLOW SPURS FANS MY HEART IS BROCKEN TODAY AND IT WILL TAKE ALL WEEK TO MEND AND A GOOD WIN AGAINST THE BONG BONGS TO HEAL IT .I LIVE NOT FAR FROM UTD 24 MILES AND 12 MILES FROM LIVERPOOL .i HAVE SUPPORTED SPURS SINCE I WHAS TEN AND NOW 57 YEARS OLD STILL PASSIONATLY IN LOVE WITH THEM NO WORSE OBBSESED LIKE A KID PICTURES IN A CUPOARD A SHRINE WITH HOLY PICTURE AND ON MATCH DAYS ASK OUR LORD AND OUR LADY FOR A WIN I EVEN HAVE A PICTURE OF OUR LADY AND PIN IT ON A PICTURE OF THE PLAYER I WANT TO SCORE AND IT WORKS MORE OR LESS .THERE ARE A FEW SPURS FANS DOTTED AROUND MY AREA WIDNES BUT MOSTLY EVERTON LIVERPOOL UTD AND CITY BUT THEY ALL NOW ME AND RESPECT ME FOR WHO I SUPPORT ANYWAY THEY WOULD GET A GOOD TONKING IF THEY SAID EWT NOT SO MUTCH NOW BUT WHEN I WHAS YOUNGER .ANYWAY LETS GET BACK TO THE GAME ON SAT EVERYBODY THAT SUPPORTED LIVERPOOL WERE STICKING UP FOR OUR SPURS SIDE AND IT FELT GREAT UNTIL WE WENT 2-0 UP AND MY HEART SANK . MY NEXT DOOR NIEGHBOUR ASKED WHY AND MY EXCITED BROTHER INLAW A LIVERPOOL SUPPORTER HE INVITED ME TO COME AND WATCH IT ON SETANTA I SAID NO WE WILL GET SLAUGHTERED I SAID THEY WILL GET A PENALTY AND WE WILL BE OVERUN WITH ENERGY DONT BE DAFT YOU ARE PLAYING WELL. YOU SEE I NOW WERE THIS ENERGY SURGE COMES FROM AND ITS NOT LEGAL TO PUT IT MILDLY AND IAM INFAMOUS FOR BLEATING ON ABOUT IT ON BLOGS WELL ALL YOU SPURS FANS HAVE SEEN IT FOR YOUR SELVES ROONY IS SAYING ITS TEVES THAT CHANGED THE GAME BUT IT WHAS HIM AND RONALDO THE SHIRT THROWER SHOWING IS MUSCLES THAT HE DIDENT HAVE THE LAST TIME I SEEN HIM COMMING OF SHIRTLESS IT WHAS 22 MINS OF PHYSIOS ENERGY THAT DID FOR SPURS THATS WHO IS GIVING THIS DOGY ENERGY TO PLAYERS AND MANAGERS ARE TURNING THE OTHER WAY TILL SOMONE DIES LIKE IN RUGBY AND FOOTBALL LAST YEAR .ROONY SAID FERGIE TOLD THEM TO PLAY FASTER IN THE SECOND HALF HARRY NEEDS TO ASK FERGIE HOW DOES HE DO THAT THEY PLAYED WEDNESDAY ASWELL . KEEP YOUR SPIRITS UP SPURS FANS FOR 45 MINS WE WERE THE TOAST OF LIVERPOOL AND CHELSEA FANS .COYS
When you score a goal at Old Trafford and it doesnt count, then what chance of ever winning there?
The real questions is.....who stole davspurs caps lock?
Is it only us that always get treated this way at old Trafford. Or are other clubs affected too? Im sick of the corruption at the top of the league. Harry said Webb is an honest ref but it was clear from anywhere that that ball changed direction. The worst decision ive seen since Pedro lobbed Carroll from 50 yards. Oooh a pattern is forming. To the guy who says footballers are on performance enhancing drugs, Ive seen you post this quite a lot and i wouldnt argue, but how do you know? Are you guessing just because some teams seem to have more energy? COYS
Nice one tony found my caps lock by the way the stuff that is all the rage down the north west is(ephedrine )This makes you run faster defend quicker and score faster and can also kill you with heart attacks.Thats because ephedrine makes your blood pressure rise and why some players have red blocthes on ther face neck and body .To make it work quicker they are mixing this drug with caffine and asprin this is why heart attacks could be happening because is says dont mix with caffine .And medical staff are now only giving this drug at half time .Because of the deaths happening last year players in rugby and football were dropping dead with exaustion this drug causes extreme weight loss this is why no score is beyond a comback and why i wasent confident against burnley 4-1 first leg score that would have been plenty a few years ago the team i dicovered using this drug came from 3-0 down and won that is all i can say ,so thats why i new we would be in trouble if we dident match this energy .and sadly i whas right . The game against arsenal will be different because ufa test players not uk sport and they are watching out for this drug and the new steroid all the benifits without the bulk just a well defined body like ronaldo showed us silly boy he will have a mysterious injury shortley i think ?.
Wow. Now there's a conspiracy theory for Spooky Mulder to get his teeth into.