The Five Stages
Monday, December 6, 2010 at 10:05PM Denial.
It's not two points dropped - it's a point gained at Fortress St Andrews. Chelsea got nothing there. We've got players out injured, about sixty to seventy players. We're decimated. Our defence is beyond the realms of depletion. We've got a sixth choice centre-back in there ffs people! And JD is a bit rusty what with only just returning from injury. But it's still all good. We got a point there last season too, didn't we? It's a good result. And don’t fret, Defoe will regain his sharpness soon, he's three to four games away from being fully fit. Just needs a couple more appearances on the Xtra Factor and he'll be tip top. He'll be able to beat the offside trap blindfolded, I promise you. There’s nothing wrong with our strike-force. It will come good soon. They got lucky, should have been three or four to us. Mark my words. Everything is just fine. It's dandy.
Anger.
Mary mother of Christ, why? Why damn it, why? What's the point in beating Arsenal and Liverpool and then not following it up with another win? Can we not just hold out in the final ten minutes of a game? Its ten minutes. That's ten minutes of pulling it and holding it together without collapsing. Ten minutes, it’s not exactly the length of time it took Benjamin Button to regress from an old man back into a baby. And yet we manage to turn from giants into mice the moment the clock ticks over the 80th minute mark.
Same old Tottenham. Why didn’t Harry instruct his players correctly from the dugout? What the hell does he get paid to do? All he has to do is change it, you know, do something. Formations or something clever. Or a sub or two but not a substitution that fails to make us win. The sub has to work. And if it does works then, granted, it won't be down to him, just luck, but at least the result will be in our favour.
Ten minutes left and they equalise. It's gotta be Harry and his non-existent tactics. All his previous victories against Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool and City? Flukes. The lot of them. Flukes. He doesn't have a clue. Winging it. That's what he's doing. I could do his job. Sit on the bench, twitch a bit. Send a Russian on. Easy.
And Crouch, what is the point of Crouch exactly? We might as well play a ladder up front, it would probably give away fewer free kicks and is undoubtedly a better dancer. Can't head the ball, the ladder, so no difference there.
Why can't we just stick our chances away like other top top sides do? Harry really doesn't have a clue with how to make our forwards move about the pitch aptly and kick the ball in the net. Useless.
Bargaining.
Please tell me it's going to be fine? I promise to wash my lucky 1981 circa y-fronts for the first time if we can just win two or three on the bounce. That's all I want. Just another run of games, three points a time. I promise I won't slate Jenas or Wilson or Crouchie. And no more accidental collisions with Chirpy when he's out shopping for the weekend in Tesco's. Unless he stares at me because then he's asking for a punch in his big fat stupid head. Or the back of his head when he's not looking, depends where I'm positioned to be honest. And if his wife, the skanky chicken, happens to get in the way. Self-defence your honour, self defence.
I'll sing my heart out unequivocally just for some sustained consistency and end product. We just need a defensive midfielder in there to compensate for the determent of our creative players always pushing up and the inability of our forwards to retain possession in the final third. Wasteful of the ball in areas of intent. Which results with the likelihood of dropped points because we allow the opposition a chance to claw it back. It’s cheap.
One goal is never enough, right? Or is it? No, it is. I reckon it is. If we don’t ship any in the opposite direction.
Depression.
What's the point? I can't handle this. I can't handle the expectancy and the pressure of needing us to win every game. It's just too much weight for me to carry on my shoulders. City have too much money, we can't compete, we just can't compete. In the long run we're going to lose out, so what's the bleeding point of it all if it's going to end in tears? We're gonna be crippled by the new stadium any ways.
And Bale. Christ, we're going to sell Bale, I can feel it in my bones. Levy wants the money for his transfer kitty when we move to Stratford. Oh God no, not Stratford. I can't handle this, I don’t want to handle any of it. Just want peaceful tranquillity. This is just too much. We didn't even get a club shop dvd of the 3-2 win at the swamp. The Arsenal fans were right, it doesn't count. It doesn't count! Should have been a dvd! Ah damn you! God damn you all to hell!
And St Andrews. 1-1, when it should have been 1-0. I'd rather not experience this ilk of low. I wish we were mid-table going nowhere again. That type of hurt, it's hurt I can live with. Its gentle hurt, not losing three on the trot is 'good form' type of hurt. We're rubbish but its okay we're rubbish. Like West Ham. That type of disappointment, that type of expected disappointment, it's easier to cope with.
One clean sheet in twenty-two. One clean sheet in twenty-two. How's this title winning form? We might not be bottom but we should be. This is an unmitigated disaster. I'm taking the toaster to the bathroom. Oh Christ, I forgot to pay the electricity bill. I hate you Tottenham.
Acceptance.
It's going to be fine. We've been here before haven't we? We drew, it's not like we lost. We drew up at Everton last season, that was a far worst result but it didn't matter in the end. We learnt from it. We've got a patched up defence coming off one of the best weeks in our recent history, qualifying for the Champions League with a game to spare. Not much Harry could have done tactically. Gone more defensive? Killed the game off? Perhaps. But if the Brummies had scored after a tactical change by the gaffer he'd have been slated for not being positive enough had he gone defensive. If Pav had knocked one in we'd all be laughing now. Mistakes, individual mistakes are hardly the fault of the manager. Need to be clinical up top. Then manager will be deemed a genius.
Dropped points might catch up with you by the end of the season but then again it probably won't when others are dropping points but I guess had we picked up points when we needed to we could have placed down a marker and pushed onwards because if we win and others don't then we've got an advantage but it's hardly as convincing as when we drop points and they win. When that happens we're in masses of trouble. So what will be will be. We'll end up where we deserve to end up. Much like last season.
5th spot currently. Six points off the top. Three points off the Champions League places. Yes, yes, all good. 1-1 draw with Birmingham just another reminder of what needs to be fixed if we're going to progress to the next level:
Clean sheets. Defence needs to be consistent. Midfield bossing the tempo and dictating play - i.e. shut up shop, kill the game off with controlled possession. Do not invite the opposition to come a knocking on the door. Forwards holding up the ball intelligently and finishing off chances, clinically.
Easy. Jot it down on a clipboard.
Next up, Chelsea. It's up to Harry to navigate us through the game to victory using Cerebro-amplified powers to man-manage our players minds and feet and result with the Prem League offering us four points for the win.
Patience, it's the key. Missing players returning, the January window opening. I can wait. Patience. I promise I've got patience in abundance. We're not doing all that shabby all things considering. I can wait. Just a bit longer. We're almost there. I'm in the departure lounge. Just waiting for the delayed outgoing flight to be scheduled for boarding. Got my ticket. Not long now, not long. One way ticket to the that bit of land just beyond the promised land.
It’s going to be fine.
Faith. Keeping it.
Massively.
Reader Comments (35)
Superb post. Just superb.
Here's the thing with that game. It was basically half of Spurs games in the history of Spurs. We've all seen it before. Move along.
Well i'm in Acceptance , you Spooky ?????
Was well gutted come 1650pm Saturday but would have settled for a draw beforehand. Whats interesting was watching them v the villans midweek, if they hadn't won, Saturday for us, would have been a lot easier.
hey ho. Bring on Chelscum, our time is now.
COYS
I am glad I didn't watch or listen to it. I am okwith the point and everyone I know who went to the game or watched it is slightly miffed. Still quite allot of the season to go and we are still up for the treble.
That was brilliant. You captured every thought that we've all had lately. Superb.
This is Spurs every weekend.
Superb post mate, sums up all the feelings i experienced after watching the Brum game. Crouch was awful, he just cant shoot for nuts. but hey, bolton lost, and we're in fifth, now we've got to beat chelski to really show we're real contender. We MUST win the next one. COYS.
more injuries than last season
Less goals than last season (league)
Less clean sheets than at this stage last season.
More competition 4 top 4 than last season.
Nailed. It.
contd...
If we get parker & an as yet unknown f off cf,not get upset if we get ko'd fm the CL,it wont matter about my aforementioned gripes- we will finish top 4.believe brothers.
Pav - i hardly think Bolton losing to City was a positive! If Bolton are our rivals this season then we must be playing for 10th place. Havent you worked it out yet? Every team has a little spell early on where they momentarily shoot towards the upper reaches of the league. Bolton have just had theirs.
Said it before and I'll say it again, we just have to claw some points together from wherever we can during the next few weeks. The injury crisis is in full swing. We cannot expect great results alll the time with this many players out, but dont worry, every team will get it at some point in the season. Ours bad patch is now. Come Feb, hopefully with the Hudds and the VDVs and the Defoes and the Dawsons and all the others back and fully fit, we can have a charge. Aint happening for a while though.
Spookey - as for your comments about clean sheet, it wont happen while we play with 2 wingers and with Modric in the miiddle. It has little to do with the quality of the defenders although full backs with basic positional sense might help. Not that I mind - I love the way we play. Who cares if we concede, as long as we score one more?
"we're going to score 1 more than you...
Van der Vart
Van der Vart
Van der Vart Van der Vart la la..etc"
shows you how far we have come to be dissapointed with a draw away to the brum who have only lost 1 at home in 20 something games. Not so long ago we would have rolled over and been done and that would have been with are best 11 on show. Keep the faith 3pts against chelski and all will be wonderful! COYS
Spooky I asked you not to post the transcript of my phone call to you post game. Please refrain from doing so in future. Thanks.
Spot on, exactly, great article..
Superb.
Do think if we had an intelligent Sheringham type player up front we'd be fixed. In fact if we had the Berba/Keane partnership in that first season we'd be top of the league. How exactly we manage to resolve our forward problem is anyones guess because I can't think who exactly is affordable out there. No one was in the summer I don't see how thats changed for Jan 2011.
I've had a nasty thought that perhaps we are never going to be able to see Bale on one wing and Lennon on the other tearing up the opposition - it just leaves too much of a hole in the middle.
Don't see why Crouch is getting it in the neck.
He spends 90% of his time with his back to goal. He is not going to score goals.
Only reason he plays is because the alternates are worse.
Keane and Gio are finished and Pav goes missing.
All you have left is Defoe - the poacher that don't poach with 4 goals all year.
Crouch has 7 assists and is always involved.
I will be delighted when Crouch is no longer first choice but that requires buying in January as we should have in the summer.
Wow! Fantastic stuff.
I'm just relieved the Gomes family line is intact. Was really sweatin' it there when Huerlo took one to the love basket.
Good points, Ned.
I couldn't believe when I read HR saying in some interview how he's desperately waiting for Jenas to come back and rescue our midfield. Such BS is the worst insult to Sandro one can come up with. In contrast to Jenas, Sandro tackles, is 10x better passer, faster, stronger, better in the air, and can and will only get better in all departments only if knucklehead HR pull his head out of his azz and give him some playing time. He's good for Brasil but is relegated to second fiddle to a retard. It seems as Sandro doesn't fit in the schemes drawn up on Harry's “invisible clipboard". Moronic logic at work.
Not season defining, but losing two points to a team that, on the day, was completely inferior isn't good. However you want to spin it.
saying that old saying.."if its broken dont fix it"? or was it"if it aint broken dont fix it"?...
Enjoyable read, as always. But I'm with TMWNN on this. We've been spinning it for 16 games now. Everyone can see that the strikers aren't delivering and we are kind enough to let opponents have a crack at us around the 70th minute mark. Bar heroics, the story of dominating games with little or nothing to show for it is an old one and precedes this season, Harry me old mucker.
Supporting Spurs will cause severe schizophrenia, paranoia, and diarreah... all while watching one single match. Lovely!
Sam - that's the point.
Our problems are obvious ones and it's hardly changed since the opening day of the season.
Focus (on the day) is superior in Europe compared to league form.
Forwards are applying pressure on the rest of the team by not scoring goals, not being clinical.
The fact that we continue to struggle more or less proves that it's not going to go away until personnel changes are made. It's a reoccurring issue but hardly a fatal one. Unless of course, we buy no one in Jan.
Who does 'no one' play for, he can't be worse than the beanpole. Let's get him!
City will outbid us. No point getting excited.
A very fine post indeed sir.
I am honoured to be one of your hangers on.
Crouch gets it in the neck because its difficult to reach any higher.
If it ain't perfect it can be improved. (JimmyG2's book of cliches 1937)
Need to get a 'top top' striker in even if he is cup-tied for the Champions League.
, because we porobably wont win the CL and top four should be our priority now.
I think that the players who have got us this far should be left to finish the job
Nobody in England worth a gamble so it has to be a proven Johnny Foreigner otherwise the risk is too big.
I enjoyed the video...
Agree with you Beetleblue re: Sandro...perhaps Harry is waiting until he has completed the Rosetta Stone Portuguese course so he can tell the lad in his own language to "just go out and enjoy yourself son".
Regarding the constant whingeing over injuries, in my view the only critical one is VDV. The current back 4 are the best we have...talk of King and Woody is irrelevant as they are both in the knackers yard now, although Woody may make a miracle recovery. As for Dawson, love the guy for his 100% commitment and he's Spurs all the way through, but he is not as good as Bassong or Gallas so we don't really miss him. As for Hud, I know many think he's the main man but for me he isn't and we play much quicker and better without him. If only Harry would put Sandro alongside Modric we would step up a notch.
As Spooky says, the problems are not new and have been obvious to us for the whole season (at least) and to be fair, probably to Harry too, but with Spurs being a business and finances being finances Harry has not been able to buy the finished article striker he would want which is what we all know we need more than anything else at present.
So, we just have to grin and bear it for now, but adding Sandro to the mix would surely help.
Ha, I went straight to acceptance. I predicted the exact result. It's all gonna be fine as long as we improve the defense. To me that's been the biggest issue this season ever since Ledders and Dawson went out. Yes we do need a striker. Goodbye Keane and sorry to say goodbye Pav. Both of them have done great service for us but neither one is good enough. Crouchy doesn't score enough but he scores when it counts and creates opportunities. Defoe has pace and if he can learn to stay onside and put the ball in frame a bit more the way he did at the beginning of the season last year we'll be laughing.
But we need to have a closer look at the whole defense. All of it. We could vastly improve by getting a versatile defender or two to give us some options. Our back four are decent and capable of clean sheets and solidity but something seems to be lacking in the mental department if you ask me, and the two mentalists on the outside strike me as part of the problem. BAE for all his wonderful attacking/distribution brilliance still lets down once or twice in crucial moments where he seems to be standing with his hands on his hips or doing something asinine with the ball in our penalty area and Hutton seems to get caught out too much. Neither one of them seems ready for prime time to me. I'd rather have Kaboul and Bassong (though I do know both of them have had spells of inconsistency as well).
Gallas, a few weeks ago I would have said is too slow and out of shape but has really stepped up and at least for now I feel very good about him. Would still love more options though and yes, we need to forget about King and Woody as their careers are probably--let's face it--over.
Anyway, I'm confident we'll come out of the January window with some critical improvements. I don't really think we need world-beating signings, just some better players to give us more options. I feel as though we are really almost there.
Jenas was on uncharacteristically fine form until he got injured and was actually bossing our midfield in a way that I hadn't seen in a long time from him. I know the narrative on him is that he's useless but I have to imagine that Harry, who spends a lot more time watching our team than any of us do is/was well aware of the fact that he's been in form. And I have to imagine that Harry has seen a lot more of Sandro than any of us and realizes that he isn't ready for whatever reason.
I too really believe in Sandro and feel that he can and will be great for us. But I had the same feeling about GDS, Palacios and a few other players who've had ups and downs in our squad. The little I've seen of Sandro has been underwhelming and occasionally downright shocking mixed in with hints of future brilliance. I'm not sure he's the answer right now.
Spook,
admire your wit and hard work. Great stuff.
Me and others at an unamed pub think we are a striker away from a Title ... so long as injuries stay away.
To dare is ... To leave the front door is ...
Translated, bit like England in the cricket ... go for it.
Cheers greg coys.