Shut up, sit down, do as we tell you to

Claude: "How's the renovation going?"
Oswald: "Great. The loft conversation is done, we're having the back garden landscaped"
Claude: "BBQ?"
Oswald: "Of course. Once it's completed we'll be having a house warming"
Claude: "You massive show off you"
Oswald: "I know. Keeps the wife happy. You still going to the Bahamas this summer?"
Claude: "Yes. Booked up. Two glorious weeks. Really looking forward to it"
Oswald: "We've decided on the Canary Islands"
Claude: "Again?"
Oswald: "Creature comforts"
Claude: "Is that the new...?"
Oswald: "Yes. It's a Blackberry"
Claude: "Looks lush"
Oswald: "That's because it is"
Claude: "I'm holding out for the next Galaxy"
Oswald: "What you got currently?"
Claude: "The current Galaxy. But the next one will be better"
Oswald: "Oh look. I think something has happened"
Claude: "Where? Oh yeah. They appear to be running back to the half-way line"

Rupert: "Excuse me. Yes, you two. Can you please keep the chitter chatter to a minimum. Tone it down a touch. I'm trying to critique the match here. Can you not see I'm writing some notes?"

Steward: "Chaps. If you persist with this behaviour I will have to escort you out of the ground. Read the warnings on the back of the seats. Use sign language if you're going to banter"

Claude/Oswald: "Sorry"

Claude: <So did someone score?>
Oswald: <Not sure. I've got an app on my phone. I'll have a look>

Valentine: <Excuse me, yes you two. Can you perhaps sign language a little less aggressively please. I'm feeling faint, you're making me dizzy with all your animated hand gestures. This is a football match you know>

Björk: Shhh!



The future of football. Shut up, sit down, do as we tell you to. That's not even the mantra of the powers that be. According to the powers that be, some fans are already making themselves comfortable in their seats, not wishing to participate in the games atmosphere but preferring to sit back and watch as though they are witnessing opera or ballet. Each to their own. No doubt it's your prerogative how you wish to soak it all in at a game. But if you want to watch in silence, do you have the right to define everyone else's experience to match your dainty bubble? Why is the minority so all consuming?

The club will never allow the drum back into White Hart Lane or the new stadium. For me, it's not even about the drum any more. It's about what the drum stood for. Freedom of expression. We continue to be marginalised by the club and according to Spurs, we appear to also be marginalised by some of our own. Other supporters have allegedly written to the club to say they oppose the drum and it's fake plastic beats and that it's an unnecessary distraction and they do not approve of the noise.

Football fans not approving of noise? Surely this is satire? Football fans complaining about other footballs fans and the manner in which they wish to demonstrate their love for the team. Must be satire.

You might think it's hypocritical that I'm saying its okay for 'us' to make noise and that we are imposing on those that do not wish to stand/sing/chant/scream/drum. But get this. Football might be this overly policed entertainment package that costs an arm and a leg to go to but the very essence of its existence remains tribal and we have a right to fight for that freedom of expression. If you don't like the noise, try the sofa. Last time I blogged about this someone told me that they no longer go to Spurs wishing to stand and sing and preferred to watch seated with their son/daughter. I'll let you work out the contradiction and hypocrisy in that statement.

If you wrote a letter to THFC complaining about the drum/noise, please get in touch. I've got my opinion, I've shared it. I'd like to give you a platform to share yours.

If anyone has positive stories about the drum to share, please email spursdrum @ gmail.com. He's compiling some to send to the club to counter the negative stories they have received. Doubtful the club will share their stories.

To talk or not to talk, what was the question?

guest blog by Tricky

So here we are 2011, and yet 20 years ago seems like only yesterday, a day that I was working out how old I would be in the year 2000 and thinking that it was half a lifetime away. Those were the days when my naivety hadn’t quite had the sh*t kicked out of it, in order to be replaced by cynicism. Life was good, we’d been to the twin towers, beaten Forest in a cup final after a nervy extra time own goal. Even the fact that it was Gazza last cameo could not dent the joy to be had from being the FA cup holders once again.

That was 1991, and so the following year the single most important creation occurred; The English Premier League. We were promised bigger, better, faster and more powerful than you could possibly imagine football, a cascade of footballing frenzy, with successive matches each more significant than the last because each week ‘this one matters’.

Fast forward that 20 years and we find ourselves looking ever forwards in a perpetual cycle of pursuit of information, a day when news of events like 9/11 spread around the world like a virus within minutes of its happening.

And so now the 24/7 media frenzy that is set to ramp up as the season beckons has all fans clamouring for information, and the only thing happening for sure is the hit count at NewsNow is marching on as far as I can tell.

We seek out snippets and our ability to access information at the touch of a button has set an expectation, well beyond those heady days of picking up a newspaper and that was it for the day. I am fortunate to work from home a lot of the time, but the downside is that the ability to ‘refresh’ a media stream is all too easy, and the lack of updates in itself an exercise in futility. And yet I still do it, sucked in by the ability to access information, despite knowing full well that it is as likely to be a re-hash of last week’s news.

It’s almost as though I somehow crave the inevitable disappointment which has been so much of my history of supporting Spurs in some twisted perverse irony. And that in some way the recent ‘success’ at the club I adore, has found me lusting after mediocrity and ultimately at least some form of failure that doesn’t finish with ‘LOL’.

The irony being that this activity of seeking ‘news’ of any form, is in turn fuelled mostly by in the absence of information, a vacuum which is conveniently filled with ‘the big yellow tickers of conjecture’ (tm). SSN for their part provided a ‘service’ in the early days of ‘up to date’ information. Forgetting conveniently that in order to fulfil this service it required this mythical beast called ‘content’.

Clearly in a desperate scramble to fill this void (in order to boost viewing and therefore advertising revenue) they cottoned onto the idea of the ‘sound bite’, media reigned supreme once more, because a five minute interview meant a further 2 hours of programme ‘content’ with ‘analysis’.

The clubs for their part were complicit, because for them ‘brand’ was suddenly the goose that laid the golden egg, something that could be trading upon without really having to do anything, fans were no longer fans they were ‘revenue streams’. And so they in turn decided that allowing their manager to talk about the club was a way to promote the club itself, because the only thing worse than being talked about was not having a reporter stood outside your training ground, preferably with the club emblem prominent in the background.

In fact if you could squeeze a mascot in the shot somewhere to appeal to the next generation of 'revenue', partially through subconscious reinforcement of identity (and I'm sorry folks, but Chirpy is a keeper for that reason alone) and brand then that's a tick in the box for the PR folk once again.

This then escalated to a point where ex-managers/players opinions weren’t deemed up to date enough, and current manager and players were courted. With their views now even more important and worth of even greater over-analysis, and because each media stream can edit interviews, two different outlets can report completely contrasting views. Further allowing opposing sides of the same debate to linger on, polarising fans and opinions, when sometimes based purely on conjecture or ‘what might happen’.

So should our manager be allowed to provide the inevitable sound bite? After all there is good sport, and drinking games to be had, but the reality for me has become a parody. This blog, which covers a cross section of fans, exists (in part) as a result of the collective need for information.

And what about his writing for a newspaper? Well, if fans want information, what better way to get it than from the horse’s mouth?

Now I personally wouldn’t give any tabloid the satisfaction of actually buying a paper, not even for the purposes of cleaning out the cats litter tray (FYI, FT is the best for this as bigger sheets and better quality paper). 

Also, and this may seem like a crazy notion, I personally believe that a manager should manage, and shouldn’t have enough spare time to be writing the sort of guff ‘our ‘arry’ does, which is so heavily edited that it has all real content of any note taken out. And for me it is Levy’s job to dictate what work he can and can’t do, he writes the bloody employment contracts and surely £x million a year is more than enough income who describes current players wages as ‘obscene’.

Maybe then we wouldn’t have seen the last twelve months ‘charm offensive’ with opposing fans and the media in general by our erstwhile manager. Something Levy has to be partially to blame for a) not controlling his triffic manager and b) not employing a PR department that can provide information two days before every other media outlet has already announced it, released it and discussed it as opposed to two days after the event.

And then there is ‘Twitter’ a medium which has all its credibility gained by having Lord Stephen of Fry as its king, reduced to tatters by the ramblings of a man so stupid he couldn’t organise a p*ss in cup. I wonder at the way it is all evolving, and was slightly surprised to learn that Goon central's PR department thought it was a good idea to re-tweet all of the player’s posts on their official site!

Just imagine how dull and sanitised that will become, and don’t go thinking that our players would be any better (excepting of course perhaps VDV who, having never met a sane Dutchman in my life, I imagine is beyond ‘editing’).

So what becomes the point of Twitter? To engage with the fans? To make them feel ‘part of the club’ and closer to players? To fill that disconnect that we now feel when we look at these multi-millionaires? Or is it simply just another way of promoting ‘brand’?

You’d have to be one dumb (or naive) tw*t to suckle on that particular lactating mammary of a media stream, which probably explains why goon central have gone down that path.

Three wise men?

When all is said and done, we now find ourselves in a situation where ‘What is said’ now has as much weight as ‘what isn’t said’ and with a little editing what is said, in fact is completely out of context and now made to look like ‘someone somewhere might have alluded to something’. Sorting out the lies, from the edits, from the truths, from the opinions is half the battle, but then perhaps where most of the debate comes from. And I sure as hell don’t know what the answer is.

But then what is the alternative? Well, for many of us our memories may be short through years of self abuse, but a certain Mr Ramos and his performing Poyet springs to mind. And the ‘fans view’ back then ‘he doesn’t talk to the fans enough’ was quoted more often than not. Fickle? Us? Surely not...

For the record, I also crave information as much as the next person, acutely aware that I have become that ‘revenue stream’ whilst perversely also being able to bitch about it to anyone who cares to ignore me, or to tell me to GWTFP of STFU.

But what I really want, just for a few years at least whilst this frenzy continues, is a manager who didn’t have any other jobs and whose sole interest was being the next ‘Bill Nicholson’.  At least then it would give me something different to bitch about at least, when the only news available is that form the OS (which will of course still be 48 hours out of date).

Having said all that, do I really miss the ‘old days’? Well what do you think? I work from home a fair bit, with broadband and access to the largest portfolio of free porn that the world has ever seen.

But, I do wish that our manager would manage the team and that the press would deal with the media, then perhaps we could all get on with the, ‘ahem’, the, err, important things in our day.

-

The Fighting Cock is a brand new THFC podcast. You can stream it or download it here on DML (make sure you have a Quicktime plug-in installed).

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A case to change allegiances

A CASE TO CHANGE ALLEGIANCES
By (a somewhat frustrated) Forza Huddlestone

 
A mate here in Florida supports Fulham, which I've never quite understood and he's never listened to my pleas over the years outlining the futility of such a gesture. Fulham is not a team in the Premier League an American would obviously gravitate toward – for that, see Manchester United, Chelsea, Liverpool, etc. But then, Tottenham isn't a team that has that sort of allure, either.

Or it didn't when I started following them.

That was in the beleaguered last days of Glenn Hoddle, trying to make a team work with players such as Teddy Sheringham, Les Ferdinand and Gus Poyet on their last legs. Make a team work? In those not-so-halcyon days, just not being relegated was a minor feat. I watched my first game in the West Stand, saw Spurs beat West Brom 3-1, heard the Park Lane Stand singing their lungs out and fell in love.

In the time since then, Tottenham found ambition. Or perhaps rediscovered it. We qualified for Europe for the first time in an age, we fired a manager when he looked to be incapable of leading us to the Champions League, we won silverware (the Carling Cup, which to be fair, Birmingham captured this past year so it’s not anything more than a nicety), finished in the top four and finally qualified for the Champions League (where we played in famous glamorous stadia such as the San Siro and Bernabeau). Off the pitch, we shifted our attentions from the NDP across to East London and the OS. Our charming (to us, mostly) White Hart Lane simply isn’t big enough but Stratford will not be our destination with the club looking to make the project in N17 viable.

During this time, the prices of season tickets crept upward. Say this for our chairman, Daniel Levy – he knows how to make a buck (or pound, rather). He also knows we would pay that extra pound(s).

We were sold on the idea we were a big club. We finally broke the hold of the Sky Four and the bank account of Manchester City. Big things are ahead, they claimed, we claimed. Players will clamour to put on a Lilywhite shirt! Glory Glory!

That hasn't quite happened as we drop back into the chasing pack. But then Levy did warns us Champions League would not be a given every single season thanks to the renewed competitiveness of the Prem. But there were more personal reasons for our failure second time round.

The big-time striker never surfaced, whether Harry Redknapp felt we didn't need him, we never seriously tried to land one or we were just inept when the transfer market turned to high stakes. When Tottenham obviously (and desperately) needed a striker last January, Spurs tried to bring in non-striker David Beckham (failed), then in the final days of the window, reportedly threw around big-money bids for players that were never coming to White Hart Lane – Aguero, Rossi, Llorente and the likes.

Rafael Van Der Vaart was our consolation prize.

They say you can't win if you don't try, but...

The season ended with a fifth-place finish, a tiny bit of bitterness after the taste of Champions League ambrosia from the year before. The Europa League beckoned again. Luka Modric, the heart of much of what we do on the pitch, apparently decided he'd rather play for a real “big club.”

We're still no closer to that elusive striker, while trying to convince ourselves that Tottenham is a big club, while the price of my ticket in the East Stand creeps to the four-digit mark. We’re a big club in terms of support. But then one or two others could claim that also.

So my thoughts return to my Fulham-supporting mate. His reason for supporting them are less complicated than mine (his ex-wife's granddad supports them) and he wears his Cottager heart on his sleeve, bless him. (I've offered for years to pay for him to put PANTSIL 4 on the back of one of his shirts and he always refused.)

I have history at Fulham. I remember going to my first game at Craven Cottage and one of my pack sidled up to me as we walked with the supporters through Bishop's Park and said with a grin, “Be prepared to have your breath taken away…with underwhelmedness.” But what the hell, it's a better neighborhood than the N17 to be sure.

I saw the reserves play there when Ledley King was on his way back, after many of us had written him off with arthritic knees (some things will never change).

So why not support Fulham anyway? (Admittedly, I say this from the perspective of a Yank who comes over to see 2-3 games a year, not someone who was brought up watching Hoddle, Lineker and Gazza.) After sitting down and thinking about it, I decided to play around with the idea (not that swapping affiliations is something I’m serious about…but what if for the sake of argument...?).  

I found a few reasons that supporting the Cottagers could/would be appealing. No seriously, I did.

There is no illusion that's you'll ever be a big club.

In a 20-team league, how many “big clubs” can there be? Four, maybe five? This puts Fulham in a difficult spot to ever breathe such rarefied air. Even if they hit a purple patch where everything went right, they'd need to hope not only that one of the big boys stumbled, but that one of the chasing pack weren't prepared to catch them as Tottenham and City were the past two years. Sort of like the golfer in the middle of the pack who shoots a 65 on the final day of the Open – you need to hope that nobody in front of you plays well. In Fulham's terms, that pack includes Spurs, Liverpool and Everton – and at least two of them will be spending money to keep them close.

This is not to say there won't be big moments. Remember, Fulham are two years removed from a ‘European’ Cup final – one of five English teams to do so in this decade, whether Fulham's was a Mickey Mouse cup or not. And unlike Spurs, they do seem to be capable of beating Man United when the mood strikes.

But you wouldn't expect to see, say, Chelsea getting nervous over a trip to the Cottage. Or any other team in England, really.

On the other hand, if you don't have the expectations of being a big club, you won't be let down when you don't become one. Surely that's worth something.

Bluntly speaking, your games are in a better part of London.

You walk through a lovely, leafy park to go to Fulham games. To be polite, Tottenham is not a garden spot. Yes, the Chick King is a fixture, but could you see yourself going there on a day when there wasn't a match?

Fulham has the Thames to admire on a sunny day. Tottenham has pubs that are slightly seedy. As a community, it's a Premier League team away from being Hackney. The toughest thing about the area around Craven Cottage is the crush of supporters trying to make the train at Putney Bridge.

But then, Fulham actually does have an Underground station. Point Fulham.

Big Martin Jol is now managing Fulham.

You remember the big man, don't you? The lovable Dutchman that took Tottenham to European football for the first time in years, then was surplus to requirements when Levy's crack football mind decided he wasn't good enough to get us into the top four? (Where did we finish last season, by the way? Damn that Comolli).

You remember the big man squaring up to Wenger on the touchline, then saying afterwards, “He doesn't know how strong I am.” I've never been so proud to be a Yid.

He's now at Fulham. Judging by some comments on various message boards, he might get a bigger cheer than Harry Redknapp when the two teams meet at White Hart Lane next May. Assuming Redknapp is still at Tottenham, of course.

When has Fulham ever lost a tug-of-war over one of its own players?

These battles to keep players seems to occur with Tottenham every other year, at least. It's not as if Modric was the first. He follows a long distinguished line of players who have used Spurs as a training club before moving on to greener pastures. (Note to the more romantic of supporters: Skip to the next paragraph as the next few sentences will stir bitter memories.) Dimitar Berbatov. Robbie Keane. We couldn't even hang onto Stephen Carr, once upon a time. Since then, Carr has proven to be dogsh*t, but did we know that at the time?

(The “big club” Carr went to so he could win trophies? Newcastle United, speaking of dogsh*t. No offence.)

Notice how you don't see Ferguson bigging up Bobby Zamora the week of the Fulham match, talking about how lovely he'd look in a United shirt. Or Roman Abramovich having Clint Dempsey on his yacht for a few cocktails. Or Jonathan Greening telling the press how Levy promised he would let him go to a big club if an offer ever came in. Yes, they're not up to so-called Tottenham standards, but you know they're going to be there next year.

Who was the last player Fulham lost*? Louis Saha? How many teams has Saha played for since then?

*Yes, okay, Smalling. But that doesn’t fit into the standard template akin to the one at Spurs re: losing players.

Lastly, season tickets are half the price of Tottenham's.

Of course, this doesn't mean as much as it should because Tottenham season tickets generally aren't available unless you already have one. According to seasonticketwaitinglist.com (which might be as useful as redtube.com, you never know), the paid waiting list for a season ticket at Tottenham is more than 30,000 strong. In other words, you could fit the entire waiting list in Craven Cottage and still have about 5,000 left over.

On the other hand, you can get a season ticket at Fulham for as little as ₤379. Or ₤415 will get you a seat in the Hammersmith End, where you can “enjoy the fantastic atmosphere created by the Fulham faithful.” (Insert snarky comment here.)

Say what you want, but ₤415 will only get you halfway to a Spurs season ticket, if that. But then, Spurs season tickets aren't widely available, and the waiting list means Levy and Co. don't really give a toss if you renew anyway. That new stadium so imperative to so many waiting patiently in the wings.

Of course, the natural reaction is to say, “Football isn't about money.” Sort of like Levy tells prospective transfer targets during the window, just before, “Yeah, but we won the double in 1961. Isn't that marvelous?”

Football's not about money? Try telling that to Chelsea or Manchester City. I'm not saying you have to like it, but it's as much a part of the game as Jermain Defoe getting caught offside is.

Having said all this, I'm not sure I have it in me to chuck in my Spurs season 'ticket' card and support Fulham. We (Yanks) are not all akin to Bill Simmons, swapping teams like an American football franchise swaps states. I couldn't possibly look elsewhere. Would doing so mean that I had to disavow the memory of a 5-1 victory over Arsenal at the Lane or the lasting memory of watching Edgar Davids score his only Spurs goal at Wigan? Or even Woodgate's game-winner in the Carling Cup against Chelsea?

Well, no. Memories are forever. Great moments are great moments. They stay with you. Whether you stay with a club is another story. And paying Champions League money for a team that balks at going after Champions League talent might make me think twice.

Besides, I still have a shirt or two bearing Jol's likeness. I wouldn't mind wearing them again. And their  colours aren't that dissimilar to Spurs, at least when they don't have a red away shirt.

On the downside, I would be watching home games – I shuddered just now typing that – at a ground featuring a statue not of a great player in its history (Fulham does have one of those, right?), but of Michael Jackson.

That's probably the point sending me back to N17. And feeling just a little bit like a sucker in doing so.

But hand on heart…all that emotion, anger, disappointment, déjà vu, the head shaking and the air punching I get watching Spurs, the perpetual ‘almost’ team…is what makes supporting them so impossible not to. I’d rather take the pain with the pockets of glory than sitting by the river.

The quiet life is not for me.

Forza Huddlestone has been a season-ticket holder at Tottenham Hotspur since 2006.

Hands up if you want to stand up at football matches

It's back in the news again, standing at football matches. The Prem league are set to oppose a return to designated terracing. Obviously we can't be trusted to stand without seats and the stewards and police can't be trusted to manage the same amount of people that would be present if they were instructed to sit down. They do realise that if something (God forbid) happened - we'd all still need to stand up to leave in an orderly fashion? I can't help but think that the reasons given for not entertaining the potential for standing areas at modern stadia is one born out of laziness. It's all safe and comfortable and easy as it is so why complicate things by risking any potential for trouble when that potential is practically no different to anything that might or might not happen at a football match.

Considering how tight the ticketing system is when purchasing and entering the ground and more so the amount of stewarding, police and CCTV that exists during the ninety minutes that gets played out - the system is already in place to guarantee the safety of fans who wish to stand rather than sit. Fact is, it happens at games anyway. Park Lane lower at Spurs a perfect example. Stewards forever trying to get people to sit down. Threats that the council will close parts of the ground if we don't. Happens elsewhere too. Let's be honest, the clubs go through the motions of asking people to sit and already some (arguably) turn a blind eye at some altogether. Whilst others display a zero-policy to it, removing fans if they persistently refuse to remain seated. It's all very unnecessary and over-policed.

Stop patronising us, we're not hooligans and this is not the 1980s and whether its standing room with seats or a fully fledged no-seat area - it's going to be safe by virtue of the amount of people that are allowed access to it. The very fact stadia are better designed and are far safer environments is not because there is no terracing - it's because of everything else (the aforementioned infrastructure concerning entry to the ground and the fact you can not get away with being stupid/racist/thuggish thanks to said CCTV and the vigilance of other fans).

I'm sure some of the reasoning against it relates to such matters as smoking or drinking or if there is an idiot in amongst the standing fans - it's far easier to imagine gaining access to said person if it was a seated area. In a crowd, you can 'escape'. Not far to be honest, you still have to attempt to leave the ground. And people who cause trouble do so now in seated grounds so that's hardly going to be influenced with a throwback to how we once upon a time enjoyed a game of football.

How about rather than dismissing it for no apparent reason - the Prem send a delegation to Germany and see how they manage to include standing areas at their grounds without any issues at all to safety. Or trial it. Or at the very least speak to fan associations and clubs and gauge opinion. We're the ones spending our money on the game. Ironically, making us consumers - which is where the problem exists.

Football has changed in so many ways. You're not immersed as much as you once was because you're not allowed to be. It's almost frowned upon in some grounds to swear or show intense emotion. It's even got to the point where some fans ask you to keep the noise down as they turn around to face you from the seat in the next row (it's happened to me a couple of times). We'd had to sacrifice a lot because of mistakes made by others and because of a changing society and football itself morphing into a far more accessible pastime (compared to the 80s) for families to attend. The whole footballing landscape in terms of the evolution of the fan and the experience explosion into the mainstream has changed massively in the past 10-20 years. Shame that the more working class elements (whether you are working class or not) are no longer truly respected.

So, to the Prem League - we're not asking for much. So stop pretending we are and try to meet us half way.

For more information and to sign the petition, visit the Football Supporters' Federation.

#1 International Break Diary II

The World Cup is a load of balls

The World Cup hasn't exactly been great. One or two half-memorable games, a couple of stonking goals, but it's not going to look amazing in around 10-20 years time when we look back on it. At least at the time of writing.

It would be rather comforting to blame Blatter and his obsession with having to change something fundamental about the game in the lead up to the biggest, grandest footballing tournament of them all. Every single sodding time. The Jambulani is without doubt his crowning moment of lunacy. Not that I'm completely blaming the ball for the lack of the sexy football. Although it doesn't help when half of the players out in SA struggle to weight the ball when attempting to thread it. It's got more bounce than a kangaroo on a trampoline.

But then again, many are not struggling to get to grips with it, so you can discuss and argue amongst yourselves if its down to individual ability to adapt to FIFA's Blatterisms. Nobody is really truly complaining about it any more, then again, the various football associations have probably been instructed by FIFA to make sure the correct directive is followed and nobody mentions 'the ball'. It's not the ball. What ball?

The reality is nobody can do a thing about it and it hasn't stopped some teams from smashing up other teams by making sure the only bouncing the Jambulani does is in the back of the net.

Might be wrong with this*, but the FA rejected using the Jambulani because of their contract with Nike. You'd think knowing its going to be used at the WC (the likes of Germany were using it in the Bundesliga), we'd do our best to do anything to get the players in the best condition possible, and that would have involved using the new ball in the lead up to it. But God forbid we put football ahead of money.

*If I am, let me know.

Regardless, of this, we still have the issue of the quality of football played and it's lack of tempo and excitement. Is it because there is no longer a massive gap between the nations once considered giants and the ones seen as being weak? Players cancelling each other out? Defending deep, avoiding risk? Is it now more important not to lose than it is to win? Are the super-star players scared somehow or just not as bothered, maybe even arrogant to a degree? Or are the alleged 'weak' the ones that no longer lose the game before the national anthems are finished. No more fear for the supposed giants.

It's one thing the lesser sides sitting back and defending with all their might, but if you have quality in abundance, surely you should be doing your utmost to display it? I guess we can all be sucked into believing the hype. No matter our nationality.

You could also argue about TV rights and how it controls football. Too much money in the game. Too much money for players who don't need to be anywhere near world-class to be earning untold thousands per week. No winter break in England. Tired legs. But then that's all just bollocks. Hasn't stopped one or two non-English Prem based players from impressing in SA. And some of the best players in the world, as rich as they are, continue to display unparalleled commitment to the cause - wanting and needing to impress and win.

All of the above has been carefully coated with a touch of glossy knee-jerk. The WC might just about be ready to explode with the Q-F's and the only negative thing we might remember about 2010 is when the Germans humiliated the English. Negative for some, funny for the rest.

As for England. Fabio - in the space of two games (USA and Algeria) went from having unconditional support from the red tops to apparently being tactically inept. Although the press appear to have ever so slightly backed off now (probably because the FA and Capello will not be parting any time soon) and decided that the majority of the blame should sit with the players. Specifically; Ashley Cole, Ledley King, Aaron Lennon for their lack of respect post-exit. Hmm. Let's also all forget about the truly guilty ones out on the pitch. You know, the darling buds of May. It's black and white to me.

So what of the players?

We failed in 2006, we didn't even qualify for the European Championships in 2008 and we were woeful in 2010. More or less the same group of players, with a few changes here and there. There's a pattern, I can't quite put my finger on it. Golden generation, you say?

Modern day footballers, English ones, appear to lack that edge, that drive we've seen in the past. At least when playing with 3 Lions on their shirt. This current batch appeared to have little desire to win. To want to play for their country. Whether there is any truth in the stories of a fragmented camp or not, well, I guess if there were battles between egos then that just about sums it up. Vanity before country.

Could you imagine this ever occurring in the distant past? Where is the sacrifice? Where is the honour? There is no collective. Just individuals. Football will eat itself.

Roy Keane said our so called backbone (apart from possibly two) have had distinctively average seasons. And the player we hoped would lead us to glory (Rooney, one of the two, Milner the other) has so far failed to be overly convincing on the big stage. But still, we believe. It's what we do as supporters. And it's what the media do, with their building up to knock 'em down ethics. How dare you failed, we said you wouldn't!

And when they (the players) don't quite believe in it all, then there's no great shock when they go home early. Hence the cigar smoking and beers. We are no longer wired up in the right way. Therefore, no great need to look absolutely devastated when departing the competition early. At the moment playing for country is no longer as important than playing for club. So perhaps we should be placing an equal amount of effort in supporting these players who are meant to be representing us as they do failing to represent us when playing. They appeared to be content, happy it was all over. The truth will out, maybe.

An attitude adjustment is required. That and perhaps the acknowledgement that we should play to our strengths. Honestly, Fabio, our players don't get anything other than 100% full blooded 1000mph football. We'll know when we've got our England back when we can visibly see the intensity in the players eyes and in their application on the pitch.

With regards to Harry Redknapp telling all he would accept the England job if offered it, don't fret (from a Spurs perspective). England is England and I see no harm with him saying what he said. Mainly because in no uncertain terms he knows he will never be offered the job. Sells a few papers does Harry.

Feel free to knee-jerk with me.

Roll on the Euros.

I blame Richard Keys

The Premiership Years on Sky Sports. Got this on at the moment, it's 1992, and its the year Sky started their coverage with cheerleaders, balloons, Richard Keys pre-shaved, Monday night football and five hour coverage. These were the days when £3M was considered a massive transfer fee, Clough, terraces, Norwich topping the table, Jimmy Tarbuck, hardly any foreign imports, Spurs constantly mediocre, QPR playing attractive football, ITK info only available via word-of-mouth, Leeds defending champions…you get the picture. Innocent days about to be mugged and left battered and bloody in a dark alley way.

We now live in a world of the Top 4 monopoly, over-inflated transfer fees, ridiculous wages, player-power, seating, family stands, microscopic coverage, the death of muddy pitches, overly expensive season tickets, corporate entertainment, fewer 3pm Saturday kick-offs, play-acting, lack of atmosphere at newly built stadiums, refs with massive egos, far too many average imports, club badges ruined by brand consultancy, empty seats, Vicks covered shirts, The FA Cup losing it's magic, yellow streaks on what should be an all-white shirt, celeb glory hunting fans, billionaire takeovers, Internet kneejerkers, money-spinning pre-season competitions…and Spurs are still mediocre. The irony that I have Sky is also not lost on me.

How I failed to see it all ending in tears, I'll never know.

Should footballers be compared to a postman, mechanic or office worker?

Ok, this is going to be shortish and sweet. Drunk, tired and emotional so I'll probably read this back tomorrow and wonder what the hell I was jabbering on about.

Question: Should footballers be compared to a postman, mechanic or office worker?

If you work for a company and another firm comes along and headhunts you, offering a bumper pay rise to join their venture (which might also include the odd trip to the continent) you'd probably take the job.

More money = better quality of life.

There's no doubt this applies in modern day football, you'd be naive to think otherwise. But it's not the same thing and in some circumstances players turn their heads away from a true challenge and follow the money even if the true challenge still offers an amazing wage and far more prestige.

That happens back in real life too, but with the greatest respect to any football writer who seems to think its fine for players to do this because the ordinary man in the street would do the same thing, the reason why its ok for a postman or a mechanic to leave their work place for the opportunity of earning more money elsewhere is because they're not on that much to start with.

Some people would much prefer not to work at all. It's not like work for most is the highlight of their day. Its an unavoidable inconvenience. It's not rock'n'roll. It's a job, 9 to 5, bane of our lives. And if we exel we might earn a promotion but if we can't go any further in the company hierarchy we look to move on to another work place so we can progress further and earn more money.

But an average footballer, even the ones in the lower leagues, bring home thousands per week and drive around in plush sports cars. These are the ones you might laugh at for being shit or journeymen. Professionals that are not on top of their game. Bit like a postman who fails to deliver all his letters.

I'm not saying players shouldn't strive to get the most out of a billion-pound industry and maybe I'm the one being naive in thinking that there is still an ounce of loyalty left out there, a little slice of romance, in that us fans - the true bread and butter of this great game - are at times the only ones who truly love the game for what it its meant to be loved for. The football.

And the players, the lucky sonsofbitches who get to wear shirts with badges we worship become more and more detached with the bloke in the stands. You know, the postmen and mechanics and office workers who give up their Saturday afternoon to go through emotional upheavel as they cheer on their team. Because for us we don't have the luxury of ridiculous wages to comfort us in defeat.

Seriously, 100K per week? Do they even know how lucky and blessed they are? They play football for a sodding living, ffs.

As a fan, if someone came along and offered you 200K to change your team loyalty you wouldn't do it, would you? Would a Newcastle fan change his allegiance to Sunderland? Would I change my team from Tottenham to Arsenal? Of course not. I'd rather chop my balls off and watch rats feast on them (I have big balls) than have anything to do with them lot.

There is so much money in the game that whilst fans chase the dream, the players chase signing-on fees. I know what you're going to say. It's still their livelihood. One that involves playing football. No Microsoft Office or spanners or mailbags. Kicking a ball and being idolised. Their careers don't last for that long in some cases. Their form might dip or they might suffer a career-threatening injury. So money is important. If football generates millions then they deserve to earn a fair percentage of it.

But that's not the crux of it, is it?

Football is a religion to most who follow it. It just feels that we're giving all our money to tv evangelists who don't care about anything other than their fat wallets and getting their leg over (Yes I know this is a broad stereotype and doesn't apply to all).

Without us the game wouldn't exist and there are still plenty of millionaire footballers out there who do care as much as the fans do. But the culture of money and greed is one that is slowly eating away at the game.

And with the FA (39th game) and billionaire owners and football agents it's not something we can stop.

So, to answer my question - if I suddenly handed in my notice at work my work colleagues would be happy for me if I was moving onto a new job and doubling my wages. Even if it was a rival company. Our customers wouldn't give a toss about me moving on because they won't know I even exist. I'm looking after myself because I'm not accountable to anyone other than my family and my own good self.

I just don't see how this is comparable to millionaire footballers who move on for more millions.

Stand up for your right....to stand up at football matches

Spoken to a number of people since the Cup final on Sunday and I've heard various accounts of Spurs fans arguing and in some instances fighting amongst themselves. Ironic that before kick off I was chatting to the Old Bill and one officer in particular who has to police the Millwall home games. He spoke about how Millwall fans just fight each other if opposing fans don't offer a challenge.

"They just fight for the sake of it. It's like something from the 80's. We're hoping they don't get promoted this season"

He also said it was a welcome break to be surrounded by 'proper fans'. Obviously, he'd have changed his mind a little if he witnessed one or two of the scuffles that took place in the ground after kick-off. It’s nothing new. I've witnessed it at away games on several occasions.

Some people want to stand and watch the game. Others want to sit.

Obviously, you'll find fathers of kids protesting for obvious reasons if the people in front are standing up. And in some parts of the ground, making most of the seat you’ve paid for is the only reasonable thing to do simply because of the distance you are to the pitch. But down in the lower tiers and behind the goal, it’s altogether a different culture. It’s almost a necessity to stand. Singing when sitting on your bum is ridiculous. And let’s face it, when your team drives forward, everyone gets off their seats in anticipation of a goal anyway. Sitting down only ever seems to happen out of pure boredom if the game is inciting sleep.

I was 'sat' in block 134 and spent the entirety of the game standing up, with practically everyone around me doing the same thing, but then we're behind the goal so its almost expected to be the case much like it is at the Park Lane end at White Hart Lane and various other grounds across the country. Nobody asks anyone to sit down because its just the way it is.

It's a ridiculous situation to have fans turn on each other. No idea what the police and steward response time was for all the pockets of punch-ups that broke out. But I’ll come back to this in a moment.

So what about a resolution? Designated standing areas would work a treat for people who want to stand at games. Can't fathom why it’s such a major headache for clubs and stewards to cater for. We get the usual 'sit down or lose your seat' propaganda at Spurs with a little emotional blackmail thrown in about how the council could close down stands us punishment to the club for fans persistently standing.

Is it to do with fire hazard regulations? Health and Safety? If you're sat down, you'll have to bleeding well stand up to leave the stand anyway. The fact there are seats at games means over-crowding is impossible, so what's the problem? Not a single Wembley steward at any point in time walked over to ask us to sit down. Was it because we stood behind the goal near the pitch and not high up in the Gods? If so, is this admittance that’s its actually ok for fans to stand up at games and stewards and police don’t bother with a polite ‘sit down please’?

Elsewhere, if it’s not permitted (up in the Gods or upper tiers) I can understand why it would be a nuisance to the majority if a minority stand. Stewards should be enforcing the policy that in those areas, people must be sat down. Allowing people to stand will lead to other fans asking them to sit, which then leads to arguments and fights. So all the pockets of punch ups that occurred on Sunday could have been stopped if stewards and police acted more responsible by instructing people to sit.

Time for clubs to listen to the fans. Some of us want to stand. It makes for better atmosphere. And the best place for it is behind the goals. If its made known this is an official designated ‘standing area’ of the ground and a no-standing policy is policed in other areas of the ground, then people will respect that. Considering alcohol can no longer be consumed in view of the pitch (works fine in Germany) and at times supporters can be punished for colourful language and get charged a small fortune for the privilege, I think it’s time we had some slack cut for us.

Or maybe I should accept defeat and admit that going to the football is no longer the escapism it once was and is instead neatly packaged family oriented entertainment for the middle class that like their ribs and wine at half time.

Can we have our football back?

From next season, Arsenal fans at the Emirates will be able to stream the game they are watching live (with a one minute delay) on their PSP's. This will allow for an 'immediate replay' of key moments along with a 'whole new dimension for fans giving them information and statistics'.

Jesus wept. What next? Staying home and watching the game on television via digital broadcast technology?

Football continues to be marginalised and redefined to laughable levels. Tragically this is exactly the type of thing Levy will consider for our new stadium. Imagine that, being able to re-watch another invisible Jenas tackle and Zokora grasscutter.

Not that 30,000 or so Spurs fans would turn up carrying PSP's to games but at the minute if there's a controversial incident in the match, it's not shown on the Jumbotron. Reason being, they don't want to incite trouble by showing something that might cause a colourful reaction towards the ref, players or the opposing fans. We can watch it all later on Match of the Day. We do not need to see if the goal was without a doubt offside or not. The ref gave it, we swore/celebrated when it went in, we all debated it's validity in the stands. It's part of the match-day atmosphere. The buzz. The stands, the fans, the pitch, the action.

Would be nice for football to remain detached from all the corporate, cringe-worthy commercialism and modernisation, but in this financially obsessed society, it's naive to think it's ever going to go back to the way it was. Not when footballers are being offered 500k per week to play. Although the German's manage to do just fine, with just about the right balance, retaining old style traditions within their stadia. You can sit there with a pint in your hand and watch the game unfold. That's a pint, not a PSP. Sony offer Arsenal a ton of money, Arsenal accept. Most clubs would. Arsenal have the 'advantage' of taking up the offer due to the in-built technology at the Emirates.

Seems the more you go to football nowadays, the more pointless gimmicks are thrown in your way, paraded as advancements for your pleasure, but nothing more than a complete distraction.

Personally, and I'm even certain Gooners will agree, this is unlikey to take off. How many fans are gonna lug their PSP's to games? Surely a service that sent video footage of key moments to their mobile phones would work far far better (and that actually already exists independently).

Regardless, I'm looking forward to the first incident that involves a fan holding up his PSP right in front of the away fans after a 'controversial moment', pointing at it and shouting 'It was offside! HAHAHA, 1-0 to us'.

That should be a laugh.