Back from Berlin

Guten Tag. Berlin was superb. If this was a travel blog I'd chit chat about their impeccable transport system of trams and buses, wide roads and the cycling lanes that cater for the exceptionally fit females and the exceptionally lucky males.

Graffiti on the East Side, Oranienburger Straße Playboy bunny streetwalkers (I only bantered with them, honestly), fantastic quantities of beer, beautiful local women, hidden day time canal bars, clubs and drinking till 5am. Not forgetting Currywurst. And 30 degree heat.

Did I mention how exceptionally fit local women in Berlin are?

On arrival back in Blighty I've had to quickly scan the various hotbeds of discussion (mainly Twitter and Glory Glory) to find out what I've missed during the days spent fleeing various seedy establishments that were meant to be lap dancing clubs that turned out to be brothels controlled by the Russian Mafia.

I've probably missed countless references by ITK community members citing 'We might be interested' and 'it's 50% going to happen' but I'll just day dream and make up soundbites of information in my head and I'm sure I'll have all their shared insider knowledge covered off in seconds.

As for the news that hit the mainstream and worthy of a word or two...

Joe Cole

The legendary 'calculator of probability' has been dusted off once more whilst the cheap headline hugging journos and enthusiasts perpetuate ITK nonsense that we're interested in the player for a cool £3M. I say nonsense because from our perspective, it's deep in the realm of unnecessary. Another central midfielder who can play out on the flank, sort of. Ta, but no thanks. We got us a collection. The club have dismissed it, which is strange because that sort of adds weight to the probability of it being discussed internally then rejected. Otherwise, why not just release a statement on every slice of nonsense that's published?

I say nonsense (again) because, well, tbh there is no requirement for the calculator of probability to be used when Joe Cole's name is mentioned. If he's available, by default, no matter the variables - Harry Redknapp's name will always form the basis of the formula. It's a 'textbook' Harry signing on paper. If this was any other club it would probably happen even if there was no point to it. If it did happen and he signed for us; riots.


Jamie O'Hara to Wolves

Talk of it being official but won't be until either Wolves or Spurs say so (that's the only ITK that matters). Yes, Jamie has a big heart and he gives it 100% with his energy and desire and the constant running around. But that's hardly reason enough to retain him, aided by his various dips of loyalty when out on loan. For back up, for squad depth...we need something better than what he can offer. He'll do well at Wolves. Players who are tagged with 'big hearts' (and nothing more) tend to be players that perhaps lack other vital ingredients to be more than just cover for a first teamer.

Martin Jol

Welcome back. Good to have the big man in the Prem again. Less pressure than previous jobs, no disrespect to Fulham. Their fans will adore him. But let's end this fallacy about his ability. Sure, Comolli undermined him, the Berbatov saga didn't help either. But BMJ struggled a little when it mattered most. We'll never know how it could have panned out had he been supported by chairman and DoF. All we know is that in Germany and Holland he's not made gigantic leaps forward in management progression. You might want to hug him more than you'd want to hug Harry, but he might not offer much more than the statistically better Redknapp. Shame Harry doesn't have the personality Martin does. If he had, well, you work it out.

Old man Brad Friedel

Not much to say about this one. We let our loan keeper go. We need a third man with gloves, so we sign one. I still think Gomes will retain his place in goal. With CC and Friedel looking to impress in training, the
pressure is on for a better more consistent standard to be produced by the Brazilian. Unless I have it completely wrong and Brad has been offered the number one jersey, CC is number two and a young keeper is set to be promoted or signed for extra extra cover. Answer will present itself at some point in the next two months if the erratic Heurelho is sacrificed and sold.

Leandro Damiao

If I've learnt anything from You Tube videos it's this: don't take it for granted that what you see is what you end up getting. Had that been the case, then Rebrov (pre-you tube but movie files did the rounds at the time) would have decimated the Prem with his trickery and outlandish finishing, Kuyt was a rampaging goal-machine and Berbatov only scored tap-ins. You'll have seen the linked goal video before. A collection of deft finishes with some daft sitters to balance it all out. Honest footage, if anything. Excites then leaves you scratching your head.

Lazy linkage (i.e. Diarra)

Over at Real Madrid Lassana Diarra has handed in a transfer request and wants to return to England. I'm going to refer back to the calculator of probability and the Harry Redknapp formula for this one. Ex-Redknapp signing, ex-Spurs target therefore we must be interested in him. This will blatantly lead the way for Sandro to be sold to his rightful La Liga home. Either that or we're all set for a 0-10-0 formation next season.

Modric

Spurs player.

Latest Harry quote

“It’s been busy – I’ve been busy doing nothing really, we haven’t got anywhere. There’s been lots of phone calls, lots of talk in the newspapers but we’re really at the moment not close to making any signings and certainly not looking to sell any of our better players.”

Who needs the 'In the Know' latest via message boards when we get it delivered out in the open without the cryptic messages by the gaffer? You would hope it's nothing more than disinformation (apart from the bit about not selling). You would hope the directive from Levy to Harry is to keep it all hush hush and say alot but actually say nothing. Which is what he's done here.

Unless he's telling the truth. If he is, imma buy me a crack pipe.

England

Crap transport system, crap national side. I know as a supporter I'm meant to support but I'm without the desire to do so at the moment and I've been soulless with the international set-up for some time. Hope we do well, hope we qualify. Just not a fan of some of the players or the football and it's politics. I hope there's some rejuvenation at some point in the future. Crazy to think at one point in the past England was as important to me as Spurs.


I think that covers it. Did I miss anything?

Berlin women: High percentage of 8/9 out of 10s.

Jamie semi dream is pathetically limp

I know that commentating on something that doesn't deserve to be highlighted and discussed brings it further undue attention. But that hasn't stopped me before so I'll just come out and say what I have to say.

Tabloid soap opera non-stories. Ho hum.

I do giggle at those pesky tabloids. Who doesn't, right? And I hate as much as I laugh how they take something insignificant and practically craft it out of boredom and pretence into something almost tangible (because it gets repeated so many times it becomes a form of truth) and then proceed to drag it out like an Eastenders plot line, with no end in sight. In fact in this case, it was birthed from complete bullshit but got spoken about so often that Harry Redknapp has actually taken time out to comment on it (though he does work for the same newspaper that is spouting the latest episode in this weak weak drama). And our Harry never misses a trick to get a couple of extra words in. Bless him.

What am I banging on about exactly?

I am of course talking about the ridiculous coverage concerning Jamie O'Hara and how we've ruined any chance of him ever getting special dispensation to play against his parent club in the FA Cup semi-final for his loan family Portsmouth.

O'Hara, on loan, to play against Spurs in a Cup semi-final?

There's more chance of Dirty Den digging himself out of his encased concrete grave in the Queen Vic cellar and running naked around Albert Square bone naked sucking his finger and winking seductively at Mo Harris, who in-turn lifts up her skirt (she wears skirts in this demented fantasy) and reveals her crotchless panties to which Den nods back approvingly.

In case there is still some lingering doubt: THE FA RULE BOOK WOULD NEVER ALLOW IT.

That's Jamie O'Hara playing against Spurs. Not the Dirty Den thing. Not sure the FA would have an opinion on the latter, although if Pompey wanted to dress up the bones of Den Watts in their colours and play him in central midfield, they'd do good to do so. The poor bastards are struggling. And he would give then more options in the middle than Kevin Prince Boateng, IMO.

     'Mo Harris, you turn me on'

See the main gripe/annoyance I have is that some hack who was rubbing his hands together at the prospect of Fulham upsetting Spurs, thus allowing JOH to play at Wembley, was duly gutted when we stormed from behind to claim a win at the Lane. Jamie's tweets a week or two earlier where he suggested he wouldn't mind seeing us get knocked out was the required ammo (along with Pompeys plight) for this said hack to print a story (because that's what it was) that contained no quotes about how Grant would ask Harry for permission for Jamie to play against us.

I mean seriously, come on. Get me a web-cam quickly because I'm sucking my finger over here. My index finger. And it's directed towards Wapping with much intent. This 'story' has persistently and systemically been regurgitated in the press and in blogs and yes yes, re-read the opening sentence to this article, I'm fully aware of the irony but like I mentioned earlier, I just have to get it out. My grievance with it, not anything else, and definitely not anything on-line, on cam. Although I'm game for anything on a Friday night.

So when I hear Harry has commented how it wouldn't be possible, not because of the FA rules which he doesn't mention (I mean seriously, imagine if Jamie scored a genuine own goal in the game) but because it wouldn't be ethical, giving the impression that the decision made was a moral one decided outside any governing body code of conduct.

And as for The Sun, stating 'Harry Redknapp has destroyed Jamie O'Hara's Wembley Dream', please dry them.

You can't destroy something that has never existed.

It will just be my (our) luck to lose at Wembley and then have to read O'Hara's tweets about how he's getting his suit measured and the tabloids running accompanying follow-up exclusives about how Jamie won through in the end.

If we beat them, no doubt Jamie will eat a hamster, the attention seeking twit.

Spurs drop out of top 4, Harry out...

Afternoon. Sorry for the lack of blogs in recent days. I've been busy today standing outside WHL demonstrating against the club over our sudden demise and drop from 4th to 5th in the table. One point behind City who are today considered 'title contenders' after their demolition of the football purists Blackburn Rovers as we sat around doing nothing. Rome wasn't built in a day but it took that long to burn down. Harry out. Europa League just ain't good enough.

*cough*

There's a lull at the minute and I'm sleeping in it. As you can tell by the inane introduction above. Not much going on, I guess all eyes on Hull this weekend and (please please please) a tasty three points to once more return us to our rightful place up in the Gods. In all seriousness, mathematically, you could argue that a title shot is not out of the question.

/silence

/more silence

/tumbleweed

Nah, just fucking witha ya. Of course there was nothing serious in that statement, although how on earth the tabloids churn out the same old knee-jerk every time about the other clubs around us, I do not know. Well I do know, it’s the usual hype machine spitting out bullshit, but tbh, I'd happy to see them building someone else up whilst we quietly go about our business. Call me sceptical, but until Mancini suffers a blip and works around it, I'm not going to sigh in despair. Half way through the season and we've never lost touch with the so called Elite. Do the same from here on in and we'll be proud at the end of it. Obviously ecstatic is a far better emotion than just being proud (which in football often translates to 'good effort you losers'). So still we await for some strengthening of the squad and that ever so important consolidation.

Nothing to report on elsewhere, transfer rumours wise. Joe Cole apparently some say (again). If contract talks break down with Chelsea apparently Harry will go in for him. I guess to offer him the £130K or so Chelsea wont give him. Riiight. Gotcha. Makes perfect sense there.

Did someone say Saviola? He's not even any good in Football Manager anymore. And if people are going to whore players to Spurs can you please be more original and choose a player who isn't a midget. Keane, Defoe, Lennon. It's like the Fellowship of the Yids. Spurs and their fetish for vertically challenged footballers.

Plenty of discussion on Jamie O'Hara in one or two forums. To some he's a good backup player thanks to his heart and effort. Others cry out that he is simply not good enough. One crazy loon today stated he's a future Spurs captain and that he's still young and should be developed.

One weekend without Tottenham and people are losing their minds.

Jamie O'Hara - Yes or no?

Anyways, until something interesting happens, I'll leave you with the story of the day. Backlash? More like end of days.

Boys from Brazil to Tottenham High Road

The Prince is dead, long live the Prince. He's not actually dead, he's been transferred to Pompey for £4M, which is arguably a fate worse. Goodbye Kevin-Prince Boateng and the fallacy of German young player of the year. I sort of expected him to play a bit-part this season as he's impressed in training and has shown the odd glimpse or two of that creative spark that he does possess. His attitude in the past was awful, but he appears to have grown up. So either he doesn't stand a chance of ever breaking into our first team based on who we have at the moment (Palacios, Jenas, Huddlestone, O'Hara) or we are hopeful of bringing in one of our central midfield targets (Anin, Sandro, Sissoko). With Adel Taarabt out on loan at QPR, I thought the Prince would be our Carling Cup wildcard for the season. Might be that honour has been bestowed on the almost forgotten Gio do Santos, who did well in midweek.

However, there's more. Rumours are suggesting that Jamie O'Hara will also go to Pompey - on loan. Although this is a slight knee-jerk at the time of writing, as it's Pompey asking for Jamie. And what if it happened? Would mean our midfield loses a little depth in cover. Doubt very much Harry would let him go regardless, but to let him go without a certain replacement lined-up? So back to our midfield targets. Anin (the big French bloke ex-boxer) is on trial. No word yet on how well he's done. Sissoko has gone very (very) quiet. No suggestion that a middle ground can be agreed on re: transfer fee.

As for Sandro (he's the Brazilian at Internacional), it's taken a sudden unexpected twist. It would appear the real reason Levy was out in South America was to seal a strategic partnership. The purpose of the deal is to develop players for both club and other European leagues. We loan them ours they loan us there's. So we get the next Pato and we give them the new Johnnie Jackson.

No actual idea how this is meant to work for them other than their loaned players make a name for themselves at Spurs and then they sell them to a Spanish or French club for loads of dosh. For us, from the sounds of it, we take their kids and climatise them to English/European football. Whether we get first refusal is possibly something Levy has (attempted) pencilled in.

Bad news is (possibly) is the Sandro story may well be just a deflection - mis-information to distract everyone away from the real reason Levy was out there. We'll have to wait and see.

If the emphasis is truly on helping the development of the boys from Brazil, then perhaps the Sandro deal will happen. But not as a full transfer.

Gio to Internacional on loan, Sandro to N17?