Back from Berlin

Guten Tag. Berlin was superb. If this was a travel blog I'd chit chat about their impeccable transport system of trams and buses, wide roads and the cycling lanes that cater for the exceptionally fit females and the exceptionally lucky males.

Graffiti on the East Side, Oranienburger Straße Playboy bunny streetwalkers (I only bantered with them, honestly), fantastic quantities of beer, beautiful local women, hidden day time canal bars, clubs and drinking till 5am. Not forgetting Currywurst. And 30 degree heat.

Did I mention how exceptionally fit local women in Berlin are?

On arrival back in Blighty I've had to quickly scan the various hotbeds of discussion (mainly Twitter and Glory Glory) to find out what I've missed during the days spent fleeing various seedy establishments that were meant to be lap dancing clubs that turned out to be brothels controlled by the Russian Mafia.

I've probably missed countless references by ITK community members citing 'We might be interested' and 'it's 50% going to happen' but I'll just day dream and make up soundbites of information in my head and I'm sure I'll have all their shared insider knowledge covered off in seconds.

As for the news that hit the mainstream and worthy of a word or two...

Joe Cole

The legendary 'calculator of probability' has been dusted off once more whilst the cheap headline hugging journos and enthusiasts perpetuate ITK nonsense that we're interested in the player for a cool £3M. I say nonsense because from our perspective, it's deep in the realm of unnecessary. Another central midfielder who can play out on the flank, sort of. Ta, but no thanks. We got us a collection. The club have dismissed it, which is strange because that sort of adds weight to the probability of it being discussed internally then rejected. Otherwise, why not just release a statement on every slice of nonsense that's published?

I say nonsense (again) because, well, tbh there is no requirement for the calculator of probability to be used when Joe Cole's name is mentioned. If he's available, by default, no matter the variables - Harry Redknapp's name will always form the basis of the formula. It's a 'textbook' Harry signing on paper. If this was any other club it would probably happen even if there was no point to it. If it did happen and he signed for us; riots.


Jamie O'Hara to Wolves

Talk of it being official but won't be until either Wolves or Spurs say so (that's the only ITK that matters). Yes, Jamie has a big heart and he gives it 100% with his energy and desire and the constant running around. But that's hardly reason enough to retain him, aided by his various dips of loyalty when out on loan. For back up, for squad depth...we need something better than what he can offer. He'll do well at Wolves. Players who are tagged with 'big hearts' (and nothing more) tend to be players that perhaps lack other vital ingredients to be more than just cover for a first teamer.

Martin Jol

Welcome back. Good to have the big man in the Prem again. Less pressure than previous jobs, no disrespect to Fulham. Their fans will adore him. But let's end this fallacy about his ability. Sure, Comolli undermined him, the Berbatov saga didn't help either. But BMJ struggled a little when it mattered most. We'll never know how it could have panned out had he been supported by chairman and DoF. All we know is that in Germany and Holland he's not made gigantic leaps forward in management progression. You might want to hug him more than you'd want to hug Harry, but he might not offer much more than the statistically better Redknapp. Shame Harry doesn't have the personality Martin does. If he had, well, you work it out.

Old man Brad Friedel

Not much to say about this one. We let our loan keeper go. We need a third man with gloves, so we sign one. I still think Gomes will retain his place in goal. With CC and Friedel looking to impress in training, the
pressure is on for a better more consistent standard to be produced by the Brazilian. Unless I have it completely wrong and Brad has been offered the number one jersey, CC is number two and a young keeper is set to be promoted or signed for extra extra cover. Answer will present itself at some point in the next two months if the erratic Heurelho is sacrificed and sold.

Leandro Damiao

If I've learnt anything from You Tube videos it's this: don't take it for granted that what you see is what you end up getting. Had that been the case, then Rebrov (pre-you tube but movie files did the rounds at the time) would have decimated the Prem with his trickery and outlandish finishing, Kuyt was a rampaging goal-machine and Berbatov only scored tap-ins. You'll have seen the linked goal video before. A collection of deft finishes with some daft sitters to balance it all out. Honest footage, if anything. Excites then leaves you scratching your head.

Lazy linkage (i.e. Diarra)

Over at Real Madrid Lassana Diarra has handed in a transfer request and wants to return to England. I'm going to refer back to the calculator of probability and the Harry Redknapp formula for this one. Ex-Redknapp signing, ex-Spurs target therefore we must be interested in him. This will blatantly lead the way for Sandro to be sold to his rightful La Liga home. Either that or we're all set for a 0-10-0 formation next season.

Modric

Spurs player.

Latest Harry quote

“It’s been busy – I’ve been busy doing nothing really, we haven’t got anywhere. There’s been lots of phone calls, lots of talk in the newspapers but we’re really at the moment not close to making any signings and certainly not looking to sell any of our better players.”

Who needs the 'In the Know' latest via message boards when we get it delivered out in the open without the cryptic messages by the gaffer? You would hope it's nothing more than disinformation (apart from the bit about not selling). You would hope the directive from Levy to Harry is to keep it all hush hush and say alot but actually say nothing. Which is what he's done here.

Unless he's telling the truth. If he is, imma buy me a crack pipe.

England

Crap transport system, crap national side. I know as a supporter I'm meant to support but I'm without the desire to do so at the moment and I've been soulless with the international set-up for some time. Hope we do well, hope we qualify. Just not a fan of some of the players or the football and it's politics. I hope there's some rejuvenation at some point in the future. Crazy to think at one point in the past England was as important to me as Spurs.


I think that covers it. Did I miss anything?

Berlin women: High percentage of 8/9 out of 10s.