This is what it's going to be like now...all the time

We have ambitions and we’re in a position to push on so there are no longer any insignificant games. Which means no matter the points or the position, every game is vital/imperative/high pressured. At least it should be and our gaffer should instil that type of attitude, because intensity is the winning ingredient. That and lack of fear. Something we have in abundance in Europe.

So are you nervous? Are you of a certain weak disposition, struggling to get a stranglehold of how games involving Tottenham are now existing on a different playing field, one where expectations and pressure embrace you but can so easily crush you too. That’s the risk you take with the hug. But you’re rather be hugged then left standing alone, right?

Okay, so City were very much displaying efficiency and authority, granted against a fairly poor side (who beat us 1-0). They did the same to Fulham, punishing them effortlessly. But we’ve been here before right? Comparing ourselves with the competition. And it’s hardly a worthy exercise. This week City win, next week they might lose. Every time a side competing up top with us win a game our next one is suddenly the be all and end all and if we happen to lose it there’d be another knee-jerking session until the following week when the results are reversed and we’re suddenly back in it or out of it or whatever.

We might have obvious problems, but so do they. They being a number of clubs up top.

It’s been the pattern of the season, with our fans see-sawing between disaster and delight. Remember last season? If you do then you should have more faith. Everything is reviewed with microscopic analysis, exaggeration the result. So emotions tend to be pulled apart leaving one or two of us completely spent one day and ecstatic the next.

Utd are meant to be playing below par, yet they’re unbeaten. Arsenal have no defence, but are top. City are not a unit yet can perform like one.  And Chelsea have gone from title winners to crisis club in the space of weeks. As for us, we have no decent strikers and no consistency with our back four and yet we’re still in there. Mercy on all if we signed a player or two.

Bossing games, clinically finishing crosses and maintaining momentum. All key discussion points, all arguably related to the apparent solution involving new blood. But this new blood, this new dawn...it’s not due to start until the back end of January 2011.

So what of the present? Do we need to win on Sunday? Of course we do. It might not be us placing a marker down thanks to the rather confusing state the Prem finds itself in but we’re playing the blue scum. And a win is a win is a win. And it takes us closer to where we want to be and turns attention to others in terms of stress.

I have no time for the ominous omens relating to their (Chelsea) form and that they are apparently due a performance because pundits can’t see how Chelsea could positively degrade any further. Our fixtures are rolling in thick and fast and that fabled January consolidation window should be forgotten about for now.

It's time to get a grip of things in this bewildering perplexing present and forget about a future which is not guaranteed to play out as we wish it too.

London derby. No love lost. This is what it’s all about. Remember the days when you couldn’t possibly look forward to this fixture because you knew, unequivocally, what the result would be? Now those nerves you feel, it’s not because of the knowing acceptance of how hurtful defeat is but it’s the unacceptable prospect of tasting said defeat.

That expectancy, that pressure – it’s just a teaser of what the future might hold for us if we went that extra mile or two and truly challenged. It’s a consequence of wanting to be better and to continue progressing. It’s the pressure felt by the sides we aspire to stand next to.

No vdV. Modric is on form. Defoe has his goal-scoring boots back on. Azza is hungry once more. Bale v Ferreira. Both defences are capable of lapses. Both can produce moments of quality going forward. Drogba thinks they can win. We’re still reading recycled quotes about a  title push and Harry to England. Tight affair? Or free scoring? We’ll see. Will be despondent if we failed to go for their jugular. If we failed to turn up.

I still don’t think this season is going to start until AFTER January. It’s gentle with its transition. And as much as I keep saying to ignore everyone else and concentrate on winning and improving and getting ahead, it’s not a trend we appear to be owning – much like the rest. But we have to endeavour to dare.

Sunday is about beating Chelsea. One game at a time. I’ll gleefully accept a goal off the left bum cheek of Jermain Defoe in the 94th minute if it gets us the three points.

Beating Arsenal hasn’t laid ruin to their season. Neither will beating Chelsea result in their death. But it will add another badge of honour onto our chest for another battle won, onwards, in the war.

Still nervous? This is what it's going to be like now, all the time. Deal with it. It's for the best. It's what we aspire to be, as fans and a club. At some point someone is going to step up, someone has to.

To dare is to do.



English Football Chief Claims “Pro Evo Better than FIFA”

With the World Cup draw fiasco still rumbling on, FA Chief Executive Ian Watmore has today admitted that he supports the plan for England to break away from FIFA and make a bid to host the 2018 Pro Evo World Cup.

Speaking from his Wembley office, Watmore said, “I’ve always been a big fan of FIFA but this year they’ve really lost it. The goal posts keep moving, there are far too many obvious glitches and most of the files are corrupt. For 2018 we will be boycotting the FIFA tournament completely and are in the process of submitting our bid to Pro Evo.”

Frank Lowy, Australia 2022’s bid chief also added his support, “A Pro Evo World Cup might not be as realistic or look as good but it would be a lot more fun and, unlike the last world cup, a lot easier for teams to score.”

One major stumbling block could be FIFA’s rights to all the team and players names. However, FA chiefs have already set the wheels in motion to avoid potential copyright lawsuits.

England will change their name with immediate effect to ‘South East Britain’ and all players will have to swap out at least two consonants and a vowel from their surnames.

England wing wizard Theo Pilcort commented, “Obviously it’s been hard having to change our names. We’ve all had to have a good look on google to find out what a consonant was for a start. But I think this a good move and all the lads are looking forward to testing ourselves against the top teams in world football like Rhineland,  Amazon Forest and (last year’s winners) Greater Iberia.”

Skipper Rio Turdigland added on Twitter, “@rioturdy5 nuff respect to da FA on dis one tweeps. Pro Evo is baaaaare better than FIFA lmfao.”

When asked what he made of England’s decision, FIFA president Sepp Blatter clasped his hands over his ears and declared, “laaaaaa laa laaaaa laaaaa laaaaaaaaaaaaaa I can’t hear you laaaa laa laaaaa.”



by guest blogger Fox Mulder.

Taxi for the haters

I'm loving it. The amount of despondent rhetoric being aimed at us by the haters warms my cockles cockerels. You can track it all back to last season if you so wished. Constant abuse about how we'd never get fourth spot, not consistent enough, always choke when it matters. Then when we go and do it we're told by everyone how we'd not get past the qualifiers for the Champions League. When we did they wrote it off, lapping up it up when the groups were drawn and we faced Inter which would pave way for humiliation. And now, apparently, we've topped a group with opposing sides that are not very good, sides that have made us look good. Their lack of quality helped us to score two goals per game and eighteen in total, and qualify with a game to spare and finish top to avoid the likes of Barca and Madrid in the next round. Inter, Twente and Bremen - all poor opposition which makes us equally poor for conceding so many goals against them.

We have no style or tactics (pass the ball to Bale, let him run down the flank, cross the ball in, someone gets on the end of it) or substance. We lack depth apparently in terms of being able to progress any further both in Europe and in the Prem because only United, Arsenal and Chelsea can juggle Europe and domestic bread and butter. And City could do it, in theory. And we should also just surrender the emotions we currently possess and ready ourselves for the Europa League next season. Because that's where we belong. Apparently we didn't read the small print, we're an embarrassment to the CL.

We'll be shown up once we play a proper team. Which apparently don't exist in the group stages if Spurs happen to have fluked passage into a group. And if you were wondering, the answer is no. We don't have any players out injured and yes, if we play five or six games and play well and win and then lose a game, we're defined by that single loss. And if we beat someone we're not meant to beat it's not because we've played well. It's luck or the other side have failed to turn up (see last seasons WHL wins over Arsenal and Chelsea and this seasons win at the Emirates and the 3-1 against Inter as prime examples).

You learn something new every day, no? This football lark, it's complicated.

I'm a little lost now exactly how poor and rubbish we're meant to be thanks to the constant moving of goal-posts by our obsessive critics.

No doubt when we do finally get knocked out of the Champions League by a proper team we'd be told we're absolute rubbish with a variety of lolcopters crashing down on our front lawn even though the reality is - no one actually expects us to win the whole damn thing and there is hardly any thing to be ashamed of considering the records of other seasoned competitors and their début seasons in the premier European competition.

But that's neither here or there. We're enjoying the experience, lapping it up, doing it our way and getting away with it. And sure, it's naïve at times and far too open and other teams (in waiting for the knock-outs) will be prepared and might attempt to suffocate possession and bore the game and us into submission when they face us. But then considering how easy we find it to score away from home...nah, let's not dream. Because that's a commodity that is quite simply inexcusable. You got that?

Then again, if we add King, Dawson, Huddlestone, a fit van der Vaart, Modric, a refreshed Defoe and perhaps one or two new players in January, it will make whatever happens on the 17th December positively gleeful.

It's been a roller-coaster. We've shown little fear. Perhaps one or two moments of Keystonesque footwork and trembly knees, but then this whole experience was meant to be nothing more than us experiencing top tier football and adapting to it for when we return to it in the future. Get a taste, let it roll around our mouth and then spit it back out again. We're having a ball. Swallowing every last drop (ooh matron).

This is Spurs. Patched up. Nowhere near full pelt. Winging it. And out of the group at the first time of asking.

Keep on moving those goal posts, keep on hating haters.

Love Story

Sometimes it's best to remember the good times because they were good and the feeling you had at the time, undeniable. So why pretend any different? If it happened and you felt great at the time then surely that's worth something and therefore worthy of a small place in your heart. The bad times might be fresh in your mind, so it can be difficult.

You meet a girl, it's unexpected and you're unsure about it but soon enough you're smitten. And even though she might annoy you and frustrate you at times, there is something about her that you just can't resist. Even when she's standing in the kitchen waving her arms around screaming at you, it's worth it because soon enough she'll perform a fancy trick that leaves you starry eyed. Energetic and loyal, the perfect combination. Even if her dancing wasn't the best, she still made you smile.

It will never end you say to yourself. And then it does. Abruptly. And there's nothing you can do other than scratch your head and wonder why she walked out on you. You can't understand her reasoning especially after she claimed she was happy and content. But off she went to be with her childhood love with his fancy job jet-setting around Europe, leaving you with nothing more than the memories of the relationship that made it such a strong one, as you question and wonder why it had to change. Why she took the easy option. To walk away. Not so strong after all.

Sometimes its best to just remember the good times, right? But it's hard to do so. And it's especially emotional and confusing when she comes back, not because you wanted her back, but people have a habit of forcing the issue and you think, go on then, let's see if we can make it work. Because it did work once upon a time. She's been dumped, rejected. I shouldn't forgive her but there's too much in the past that has us anchored together in the present. I can't turn my back on her.

You're conflicted.

But alas there's no spark. There's hardly any passion. No matter how hard you both try. No tricks. Not even a shouting match in the kitchen with her waving her arms around pointing at the mess you've made and failed to tidy up. In fact she hardly acknowledges it. You're both just going through the motions, only together again because of circumstance, any hope of turning back the clock lost in time.

You know in your heart it's over. For good. But even though the relationship has been tainted and the love completely lost, you can't disregard the history between the two of you as much as you'd like to detach yourself from it. It's set in stone. There's no point in being bitter either. People make mistakes. You know she made a mistake. She knows it. But then perhaps it was never a mistake and the magic had degraded much earlier, you just never really noticed.

So an amicable parting is for the best. A respectful one. Because there is nothing to be gained by being twisted or cruel. She knows. You know. Best to move on.

And that's it. All over. Goodbye. And good luck. Thanks for those memories.

Life, it's a series of choices, decisions, when taken can lead you to good or bad paths. Sometimes forgiveness is not an option. Sometimes it is.

Talking of goodbyes, Robbie Keane will be allowed to move on in January. He's in our squad for the Twente game, which we need to win to avoid the potential of an 11-0 loss at the Camp Nou in the next round. He might end up at Newcastle now that BMJ looks set to take over up there. Better than Scotland or the MLS I guess. Well, actually probably not, probably on par. Wherever he ends up, I hope he has one more jig left in him.

And if he happens to make an appearance, a final fling, a one night stand for old times sake. I'll politely applaud.

It's the right thing to do.

Another Twente quid on Spurs to win

So do we accept qualification and all it will bring regardless of finishing top of the group or second by fielding a side that's not the strongest available or do we seize the day and focus on getting into the knock-out stage as winners, thus avoiding football rape at the Camp Nou? Decisions, decisions. Why would we even contemplate not fielding our strongest side?

Oh yeah. Chelsea this weekend.

Okay, so it's not (blue scum) exactly the fixture of old which we'd brush aside and concede goals and points even before the kick-off. We've enjoyed success at the Lane against them recently and they're a pale shadow of the side that began the season with such relentless decimation of their opponents. Not that I'm naïve enough to think we'll walk all over them. Although I'd very much like us to do just that. It's a massive game that. Might put their gaffer under extraordinary early season pressure if we beat them. And the obvious upwards elevation/momentum/confidence booster - priceless.

But there's the small matter of Twente to deal with first. Irony not lost that I'm even entertaining league as a priority over Champions League. Hasn’t it mostly worked the other way?

The Dutch champions are seeking revenge. I can imagine they're come out at a pulsating tempo. No slow-build up play here. Home crowd behind them, up and at 'em attitude. If we've switched off already and the concentration isn't there then hello to complacency and second in the group.

I don't have a clue how we plan to line-up. I've seen plenty of discussion that has the side patched up (Bale rested, Keane starting etc) but will be content as long as the spine of the side isn't tampered with too much.

It's simple really. After this game is done and dusted, we're into the realm of two-legged cup football. I know this is an adventure for us and for the travelling away fans and our players it's what it's all about in terms of enjoying and building on the learning curve this top tier football is giving us. And savouring every second of it. But who wants to face the might of Madrid or Barca from the off when perhaps we could get through to the following round and then face them (or perhaps muddle through to the round after that and then face them).

We are hardly going to win this competition based on paper and on experience. But it would be foolish to suggest that we (traditionally a cup side that can turn it on and beat anyone on our day) don't stand a chance of progressing balls deep into the latter stages. Which is why finishing top (matching Inters result thank you please) will be delightful.

Finish top and we'll face Schalke/Lyon, Valencia, Copenhagen, Roma, Marseille or AC Milan. Not that any of these clubs don't have the capabilities to knock us out - but I'd fancy our chances to do just that to them.

Schalke/Lyon, Barcelona, Bayern Munich or Real Madrid. If we're second.

All this is based on how it stands currently. I think. Correct me if I've got anything wrong.

If the likes of Porto and Liverpool (when they won it, care to remember how 'great' they actually were?) are proof you don't have to be the best side to go all the way. You do need to believe and you do need to remain committed and focus. Both clubs had tacticians at their helm masterminding their run and granted, getting lucky once or twice along the way.

I'd be over the moon with each additional game we get and would love to get far enough to play another English club. Run around Tottenham, a lot, and kick it in the net. That should do the trick.

We've made a name for ourselves this season. Would be wasteful if we didn't strive to guarantee our survival for a little bit longer. If it doesn't work out and we end up away at the Santiago Bernabeu or worse…oh well, so be it. It beats getting giddy about the Carling Cup.

To dare is to swagger and hit the barn door.

The Five Stages

Denial.

It's not two points dropped - it's a point gained at Fortress St Andrews. Chelsea got nothing there. We've got players out injured, about sixty to seventy players. We're decimated. Our defence is beyond the realms of depletion. We've got a sixth choice centre-back in there ffs people! And JD is a bit rusty what with only just returning from injury. But it's still all good. We got a point there last season too, didn't we? It's a good result. And don’t fret, Defoe will regain his sharpness soon, he's three to four games away from being fully fit. Just needs a couple more appearances on the Xtra Factor and he'll be tip top. He'll be able to beat the offside trap blindfolded, I promise you. There’s nothing wrong with our strike-force. It will come good soon. They got lucky, should have been three or four to us. Mark my words. Everything is just fine. It's dandy.

Anger.

Mary mother of Christ, why? Why damn it, why? What's the point in beating Arsenal and Liverpool and then not following it up with another win? Can we not just hold out in the final ten minutes of a game? Its ten minutes. That's ten minutes of pulling it and holding it together without collapsing. Ten minutes, it’s not exactly the length of time it took Benjamin Button to regress from an old man back into a baby. And yet we manage to turn from giants into mice the moment the clock ticks over the 80th minute mark.

Same old Tottenham. Why didn’t Harry instruct his players correctly from the dugout? What the hell does he get paid to do? All he has to do is change it, you know, do something. Formations or something clever. Or a sub or two but not a substitution that fails to make us win. The sub has to work. And if it does works then, granted, it won't be down to him, just luck, but at least the result will be in our favour.

Ten minutes left and they equalise. It's gotta be Harry and his non-existent tactics. All his previous victories against Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool and City? Flukes. The lot of them. Flukes. He doesn't have a clue. Winging it. That's what he's doing. I could do his job. Sit on the bench, twitch a bit. Send a Russian on. Easy.

And Crouch, what is the point of Crouch exactly? We might as well play a ladder up front, it would probably give away fewer free kicks and is undoubtedly a better dancer. Can't head the ball, the ladder, so no difference there.

Why can't we just stick our chances away like other top top sides do? Harry really doesn't have a clue with how to make our forwards move about the pitch aptly and kick the ball in the net. Useless.

Bargaining.

Please tell me it's going to be fine? I promise to wash my lucky 1981 circa y-fronts  for the first time if we can just win two or three on the bounce. That's all I want. Just another run of games, three points a time. I promise I won't slate Jenas or Wilson or Crouchie. And no more accidental collisions with Chirpy when he's out shopping for the weekend in Tesco's. Unless he stares at me because then he's asking for a punch in his big fat stupid head. Or the back of his head when he's not looking, depends where I'm positioned to be honest. And if his wife, the skanky chicken, happens to get in the way. Self-defence your honour, self defence.

I'll sing my heart out unequivocally just for some sustained consistency and end product. We just need a defensive midfielder in there to compensate for the determent of our creative players always pushing up and the inability of our forwards to retain possession in the final third. Wasteful of the ball in areas of intent. Which results with the likelihood of dropped points because we allow the opposition a chance to claw it back. It’s cheap.

One goal is never enough, right? Or is it? No, it is. I reckon it is. If we don’t ship any in the opposite direction.

Depression.

What's the point? I can't handle this. I can't handle the expectancy and the pressure of needing us to win every game. It's just too much weight for me to carry on my shoulders. City have too much money, we can't compete, we just can't compete. In the long run we're going to lose out, so what's the bleeding point of it all if it's going to end in tears? We're gonna be crippled by the new stadium any  ways.

And Bale. Christ, we're going to sell Bale, I can feel it in my bones. Levy wants the money for his transfer kitty when we move to Stratford. Oh God no, not Stratford. I can't handle this, I don’t want to handle any of it. Just want peaceful tranquillity. This is just too much. We didn't even get a club shop dvd of the 3-2 win at the swamp. The Arsenal fans were right, it doesn't count. It doesn't count! Should have been a dvd! Ah damn you! God damn you all to hell!

And St Andrews. 1-1, when it should have been 1-0. I'd rather not experience this ilk of low. I wish we were mid-table going nowhere again. That type of hurt, it's hurt I can live with. Its gentle hurt, not losing three on the trot is 'good form' type of hurt. We're rubbish but its okay we're rubbish. Like West Ham. That type of disappointment, that type of expected disappointment, it's easier to cope with.

One clean sheet in twenty-two. One clean sheet in twenty-two. How's this title winning form? We might not be bottom but we should be. This is an unmitigated disaster. I'm taking the toaster to the bathroom. Oh Christ, I forgot to pay the electricity bill. I hate you Tottenham.

Acceptance.

It's going to be fine. We've been here before haven't we? We drew, it's not like we lost. We drew up at Everton last season, that was a far worst result but it didn't matter in the end. We learnt from it. We've got a patched up defence coming off one of the best weeks in our recent history, qualifying for the Champions League with a game to spare. Not much Harry could have done tactically. Gone more defensive? Killed the game off? Perhaps. But if the Brummies had scored after a tactical change by the gaffer he'd have been slated for not being positive enough had he gone defensive. If Pav had knocked one in we'd all be laughing now. Mistakes, individual mistakes are hardly the fault of the manager. Need to be clinical up top. Then manager will be deemed a genius.

Dropped points might catch up with you by the end of the season but then again it probably won't when others are dropping points but I guess had we picked up points when we needed to we could have placed down a marker and pushed onwards because if we win and others don't then we've got an advantage but it's hardly as convincing as when we drop points and they win. When that happens we're in masses of trouble. So what will be will be. We'll end up where we deserve to end up. Much like last season.

5th spot currently. Six points off the top. Three points off the Champions League places. Yes, yes, all good. 1-1 draw with Birmingham just another reminder of what needs to be fixed if we're going to progress to the next level:

Clean sheets. Defence needs to be consistent. Midfield bossing the tempo and dictating play - i.e. shut up shop, kill the game off with controlled possession. Do not invite the opposition to come a knocking on the door. Forwards holding up the ball intelligently and finishing off chances, clinically.

Easy. Jot it down on a clipboard.

Next up, Chelsea. It's up to Harry to navigate us through the game to victory using Cerebro-amplified powers to man-manage our players minds and feet and result with the Prem League offering us four points for the win.

Patience, it's the key. Missing players returning, the January window opening. I can wait. Patience. I promise I've got patience in abundance. We're not doing all that shabby all things considering. I can wait. Just a bit longer. We're almost there. I'm in the departure lounge. Just waiting for the delayed outgoing flight to be scheduled for boarding. Got my ticket. Not long now, not long. One way ticket to the that bit of land just beyond the promised land.

It’s going to be fine.

Faith. Keeping it.

Massively.

Fix Bayonets Men! Follow Me To Glory!

Away to Birmingham. Remember this fixture last season? Should have won, conceded late on. Felt dejected at the final whistle, the loss of two points a body blow leaving us winded but hardly down and out. I'd be equally despondent if we drop points again. That marker we keep toying with, it's on the table. It just needs to be pushed inwards a little more. Don't want it falling off.

Birmingham followed by Chelsea, with Twente sandwiched in the middle and then a potential banana skin away to Blackpool before the post-Christmas fixture list snows down on us.

I love this time of year. The games, they come thick and fast. Equally so do the points if we're on top of our form and more so the momentum gained in a short space of time that could elevate us into a lofty position that makes the opening of the transfer window in January one of lip-licking excitement.

Time to apply the pressure on those around us.

Consolidation is only a possibility if we have something to build on which is stronger than just a foundation of hope and promise. Intent and end product. Forgetting Europe, we've won three successive games in the league and we're unbeaten in four. We continue to claw back victory from the jaws of defeat. We continue to perceiver with the loss of key players. There's spirit in this side. And whenever you think (and others hope) we are heading for a crisis we don't. Because that's not our bag any more. Crisis is a strong word, but these days it's altogether a different animal. Remember what a crisis was? We'd not win for five or six games playing dejectable calamity stricken football with our players falling over in their ballet shoes as they whisper to each other, 'I can do it too with Kandoo' whilst we discuss a potential new managerial appointment.

Crisis? Last time out was when we managed a lowly amount of points from a slightly pro-longed run of games. I forget the associated numbers, but I'll look on Facebook later to see if the Relegation Party has retained the finer details. The crux of it is, we were shambolic or always a couple of goals away from forcing ourselves into shambolicistic performances. No backbone and no actual template of structure. Yes Harry is very much a hug 'em type of man-manager. Gets the best out of players, plays them in their best positions and strives to strike a  chord with their confidence so that they enjoy their football and believe in themselves and the team. It's expressive, not quite expansive - but it works. And there's continued growth in the side if you look at mentality and focus.

Okay so hands up I admit like you would that this season has been erratic. But an erratic Spurs side of the past would find its self mid-table and unlikely to muster up, say, sixteen points from a losing position. Not that we should be using a team of old as a a gauge of progression. We've been mislead in the past way too often. The standards we set and achieve today should then be placed aside as we continue to improve further. Enjoy pockets of success (beating Arsenal away and ending the run of 68 games against traditional Top 4 opposition by throwing shirts into the stands) but then move on. Don't dwell. Learn from it and then deem it as a non-importance whilst new challenges are tagged with 'seek and destroy'.

A relentless hunger. Is what we should have. Harry having words with Bale over his handshake with an enemy player in the NLD speaks volumes. It might be an obvious characteristic of the teams who have spent the last couple of decades ahead of us, but its something we've lacked. Bite. Selfishness. Preservation of ones self above and beyond anything. We don't quite have that killer instinct. Not yet.

I'd wager you'd have to be a pretty awful coach not to be able to get this Spurs side to do well. Be it clipboard or no clipboard, Harry's approach (get Sherwood, Ferdinand, Parks etc to coach players in groups based on position with Bond and Jordan strutting their stuff on the training pitch) then tell them pre-game in dressing room to run around a lot and kick it in the net might be the most non-illustrious but effective display of keeping it simple tactics the Prem has ever witnessed. But he's not - as some have suggested - winging it. This is top tier football, not pub landlord on the touchline on a frosty morning over at Hackney Marshes.

We have shaped up plenty of times this season to deal with the opposition at hand and have also re-shaped when necessary to combat in-game dynamics. There is so much a manager can get out of his players with expression birthed from confidence. Although there is something very Tottenhamesque about just going out there and playing football, even if it's a giddy mixture of swashbuckle and caviller with heavy doses of dramatic twists and turns. Imagine if Harry was 10% more shrewd. But then we need to keep pinching ourselves and remember this is a new age Spurs. We are surfing high on a learning curve rather being water boarded in another transitional drowning session.  

It's easy to be critical because you can easily find yourself susceptible to the weight of expectancy. I said a pretty awful coach you'd be if you failed to get something from this current Spurs squad. What I meant was - we have an abundance of quality players who we can depend on. We look good on paper and just as good on the pitch. So it's a case of managing them and not over-complicating matters. And with each passing game a new obstacle is overcome and a new character trait is added to our ever growing goody bag of colourful traity sweets. No choking here. No sucking either. Just delicious crunchy delights.

You can’t become a winner if you don't win. I know that's the king of understatements but it's obvious that Tottenham have to mature from plucky defiant soldiers to eye of the tiger warriors using the blood of their left for dead opponents as war paint for the next battle. War is a bloody, killing business. You've got to spill their blood, or they will spill yours. Rip them up the belly. Shoot them in the guts. Someone once said.

That's why even if we are stepping up to score last minute goals and winning from losing positions - it all counts. And it will all level out to something more controlled because it has to if we want more out of all this gradual progress. I'm certain it will level out to something stronger in time. The fact that a crisis these days is when we drop a couple of points or don't play too well but still win is a statement of progression. Yeah sure it's not open bus parade territory just yet, but let's remember how paralysing the past decade or so has been for everyone outside the monopoly.

Keep it simple.

Birmingham don't score that many at home. We should avoid thinking about Tuesday. Attack 'em.

I want that marker super-glued to the table.

If you're going to the game on Saturday...

Make sure you go to the toilet before you enter the ground. Or just hold it in.

<you tube video removed>

I'm also hoping the only fireworks we see are on the pitch, firing out of the boots of our players. Woof.

Enjoy your breakfast. Match preview and other rambles later on.

EDIT: The original video has been removed, and if you're wondering it was a short vid of the away toilets at St Andrews, in a sorry state. More messy than Real Madrid's defence on Monday evening. Which renders this article next to useless, so I'll attempt to save it by retaining some toilet humour with this (you'll have seen it already but it's the best I can muster up this early in the morning).

For some, it's a brutal interrogation. For others an itch that can be easily scratched

Stratford. It’s been discussed to death, then gets resuscitated and has the life sucked out of it once more before being dragged out of its shallow grave and throttled for just around the hundredth time. For some, it's a brutal interrogation. For others an itch that can be easily scratched.

It’s unlikely to change any time soon. Even with Boris rubber stamping the N17 project. I'll ignore the finer details of the various approval stages and clarity on funding until a later time when we know more. And I'll humour the prospect of East London because Levy believes its plausible even though others would suggest it would never be allowed to happen.

Humour on we go.

Spurs fans are split over the arguments for and against moving. Financially and in terms of progress, moving there makes sense if you take into account the avoidance of huge potentially crippling debt. A new chapter, same club, new area. The identity of the club is the fans so no matter where we stand or sing there won't be too much bother, right?

Well, no possibly wrong. Because philosophically it irks many of us considering the abuse aimed at Arsenal for their nomadic journey from South London to North London, renaming Gillespie Road etc etc. Football for many transcends corporate hospitality.

Let's have a sing-a-long...

"North London is ours North London is oooooooours, **** off back to Woolwich, North London is ours" - sang to the tune of Beach Boys / Sloop John B

...for how much longer we'll have to wait and see.

Might be just five miles down the road from N17 (doesn't look far at all when viewed on google maps)  the traditionalists do not want to lose what they define as the clubs identify which is something that over time can quite possibly happen. Hypothetically, the next generation or two of Spurs fans will be born into a club that resides in East London and may well never know anything different. The sentiment here is – we are Tottenham. And the very essence of any club is where the club is even if most of us travel into the area and don't actually live there.

If West Ham left their current location the same identity make over would happen to them over time. Upton Park sits in an unwelcoming area which still provides character and provokes an atmosphere. At least it does when we visit. Although that might still happen if they moved into the Olympic Stadium and we visited Stratford instead. But I'll hazard a guess that it will be far less moody. In fact it wont be the same thing at all. But then going to the Emirates rather than Highbury hasn't changed the match-day buzz and hatred. But then they haven't actually moved out of their squat attachment area. Just up the road into a new swamp.

Is five miles East up the road?

These types of non-associations to revenue increase intricateness are the anchors to our tribal instincts. It's the stuff some would render irrelevant to progression and ample for sacrifice. Time and its annoying way of changing stuff, the interfering SOB. Football is forever changing and compared to the 1980's it's changed massively from terraces to CCTV to all seaters to family sections and executive boxes.

And this is where it gets messy. People’s perception of what defines a club is varied from one to the next. Traditionalists versus new agers. Tottenham’s history will never be in doubt. That can never be altered and will always be spoken about and remembered and past on from father to son. But the unity of fans at our club still remains strong and I hardly feel like I'm detached from the majority (even though there are plenty of head-shaking moments).

So, five miles? Okay, so you don't need to live or be born in Tottenham to claim the supporting bloodline so the new agers will argue that it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things and that the club and the fans are far stronger in spirit than a location/area and it's geographical importance. So if the Spurs landscape was to change then it would be no different to what has happened with Arsenal. You know, that thing with Arsenal. You know it right? The thing with the south and the move and renaming and stuff.

I personally have no idea if anyone in Woolwich or South London support or perceive Arsenal as their club considering they’ve moved. I doubt it. It's been along time. I do know Spurs and one or two others were not happy with them shifting desperately into North London. And it sort of turns my stomach to think that had they remained in South London, would all of their North London based fans have supported...nah, let’s not go there.

White Strat Lane

What about the national stadium? Wembley is North London, right? It's not been discussed as an option for ages because it's not an option. If we did move there – would you be happy with it? Geographically you would argue that Stratford is closer to our current home, so back to the question of whether we are all getting dizzy over the semantics of location and the name of said location?

We’re Tottenham, we’re North London, we sing it in songs, we remind our neighbours about it – in fact it’s the reason our neighbours are rivals and enemies. Perhaps if we moved to Stratford, in thirty years time, West Ham will be considered our main rivals (easy there Spammers, it's still 30 years off and it's theoretical so stick the champagne back into the ice bucket) because of the bitterness caused by moving onto their patch. Whilst over in North London, Arsenal are sat there on their own, Billy-no-mates. Doubtful of course that many many decades of hatred would be dismissed because of a five mile move. But one or two new songs will be birthed, for and against, by our fans and rival fans. And over time, priorities of hatred will probably change. But then we shouldn't be defining ourselves on who hates us. Who cares? But the point is - the club (five miles or not) will change at various fundamental levels which are dismissive to some but imperative to others.

These (dare I say) little things are important to many and outweigh the current obsessions with financial clout and branding and this relentless objective to expand and turn into footballing beast. Which is hardly a little thing. We need a 60,000 (more or less) ground.

Am I doing a good job of illustrating confliction of the soul?

I don’t think Stratford will be handed over to us if we wanted it any ways. I'd be shocked. Riots on the streets and such. Levy planting a flag on the site of the Olympic Stadium whilst chased by Sullivan and Gold and Brady who are throwing jellied eels and mash in his direction, foaming at mouth.

Haringey are blatantly taking the mick, as you would expect, with Levy in terms of using us to regenerate the area with our money as they appear to have no available monies to do the job themselves. Politics at play. Feasibility it seems on paper is winning the battle to remain ahead of matters of the heart. £460M is potentially crippling, as mentioned many times already - by fans and club.

And the club has to move forward, because it's not certain we can do it standing still?

So what do we do?

I don’t know.

What I do know is; there is an immediate necessity to reshape the club’s progression to maximise revenue in-order to remain competitive and appease the thousands waiting for season ticket availability and fans who wish to hold onto the past with what makes it special to be a Tottenham fan who do not want the foundations dug up and replaced with new building blocks of identity. We fear change. And those little things discussed surrounding rivalries, generational associations and geographic history - they matter.

Unfortunately suggestions that we should re-look at perhaps slowly rebuilding WHL, a stand at a time, are not considered viable. And remaining at a standstill would equate to stagnation.

This should not feel like being stuck between a rock and a hard place.

A nail in the coffin of Stratford?

N17: Home is where the heart is

Exercise or play sport regularly? Join Spurs legend Graham Roberts and tell Arthritis Research UK about your experiences of sports pain or injuries: painoutofsport.org