When does it kick off?

Has the football season started? I know it has but it obviously hasn't because I'm emotionally numb and I'm neither euphoric or disillusioned. Although the latter is a perfect fit for many who still strongly believe our summer transfer window activity has gone belly-up, with no saviour or messiah of the green fields to break the clouds apart with a rainbow.

I haven't even watched either edition of Match of the Day yet, although from the sounds of it I've only missed Alan Hansen salivating over a single passage of Liverpool play that is apparently ample evidence of their return to past glories. I did watch Real v Barca which was stupendous fun and also caught the second half of the City v Swansea game including the début of the completely unknown to these shores, Sergio Agüero, who scored a brace and assisted too. A star is born indeed, confirmed by Alan Smith because players don't exist until after they've appeared on a Super Sunday or MNF.

Talking of commentators, why is it they always sound so slutty for the football they're watching? It's like a porn actress who prefers not to wipe away the mess on her face, preferring instead to glisten for the camera all proud and gleeful when the reality is altogether far less attractive no matter how much she smiles and winks.

As for Kun. Blatantly blagging it against Championship opposition. Will fade by Christmas. Won't score as many as Adebayor either.

Talking of which, I'm still certain we'll sign a forward. I'm still banging the drum of delight whilst others bang the drum of despondency and dejection. I can not see this window closing without an arrival or two because such a scenario would be wholly unacceptable and yadda yadda yadda you've heard it all summer long. Faith is sitting next to me. Okay so he's a little sleepy and I keep having to nudge him because the snoring is repugnant but hey, at least his heart is beating. Sort of. Almost. Faintly.

Robbie Keane is gone. To the MLS. Tongue in cheek 'my dream' soundbite from Keano as he becomes a LA Galaxy player. I guess how much you rate (love) the player is all very much dependent on whether you believe his move to Liverpool tainted him so harshly that his first spell at Spurs is no longer one you can look back at with joy.

If that's you, then remind yourself of the following:

301 apps
122 goals

9th highest goal scorer in our history and one of only 16 players to have joined the THFC 100+ goal club.

I'm going to talk about Robbie on the next The Fighting Cock podcast, so I'll leave the particulars until then. But no argument that he very much did taint himself with the move to Liverpool. He left us for them, of course we're going to look on with disappointment. Perhaps that question in his head pushed him towards Anfield in a quest to see if he could step it up a further level away from his comfort zone only to find that it wasn't the answer he was hoping for. But to ignore his record prior to his move? Stupid. The only unforgivable is being subjected to that cartwheel celebration for so long before he retired it.

He might not have been the greatest but he consistently did a job for us and his stats prove that. His body has given up on him, possibly in addition, has also lost most of his swagger and confidence too. Good luck in the States. If you can't score any goals there Robbie, you could always return to Scotland.

Elsewhere. Arsenal finally allow Cesc to go home. £35M? Cheap, no matter how you look at it. Even if the player has retained a high level of performance, some claim he has somewhat stagnated. That's if you believe a player can be very good but not improve in leaps and bounds and still be awarded with the stagnated label. Warranted or otherwise, not sure it's time to RIP our North London neighbours but they seem to be losing players with each passing week. Hardly feel sorry for them but you have to laugh out loud when you see Fabregas kiss the badge on his new Barca shirt. Half expecting Luka to score an own goal at Old Trafford then rip his shirt off to reveal a Chelsea tattoo on his chest stating 'I'M A SLAVE, PLEASE LET ME JOIN MY DESTINY, I AM A CHELSEA BLUE, 4EVER'. It's a a big tattoo. Hey, maybe Arsenal will bid for Luka.

What? What did I say? Don't shoot the messenger, k?

So Hearts this week. Channel 5 ITV 4. I'm hoping for a strong spine and a comfortable win. Get through the qualifier then perhaps blood some kids. Don't care how weak Scottish football is, but would rather avoid a Young Boys type mishap in the first leg. If anything because it would mean us having to hold onto Crouch just to make sure we get through the second leg.

Man Utd away, our opening game of the season next Monday. I predict an open game. Score draw. No keeper gaffs from our boy please. Be rude to distract attention away from De Gea.

Limbo still has made prisoner. Feels like an eternity. Not long now before I escape.

COYS.

Love the shirt.

-

The Fighting Cock is a brand new THFC podcast. You can stream it or download it here on DML (make sure you have a Quicktime plug-in installed).

Love the Shirt.

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Another derby, another win, another DVD

The month of April. Legend has it that it was birthed in the very depths of hell. A fixture list carved out into the back of a damned soul with the blood of virgins inked into the finger nails of Satan.

Arsenal.
Chelsea.
Man Utd.

Two played. Six points. We never beat the big teams. We always bottle it. Stick it up your bollix. Again.

To dare is to f*cking do and we're f*cking doing it. Did I expect it to be this convincing? Or course not. My pre-match concerns bottled into a single assumption which was thinking today would be a little like last Wednesday. Back to the walls, pressure and pressing and counter attacking the ingredients for survival. We'll run out of steam, we all said. No Wilson again? We'll be ruined in midfield. Er. Not quite.

Instead today was altogether a completely different ilk of game. One of swaggering style, sexy and slick, covered in a glossing of grit. A performance of supreme confidence and belief. Absolutely magnificent.

Chelsea have hiccuped away from home a few times this season, and perhaps the pressure got to them today. That's up for debate, no doubt something their fans can talk about. What is beyond debate is that Tottenham got to them.

I f*cking love this club for keeping me eternally entertained.

Wednesday, we beat the pretenders, dicking Arsenal and ending their season. Saturday we beat the real deal, continuing our resurgence against Chelsea by damaging theirs. Three point Lane? Bogey team no more. It's so quiet, it's so quiet, it's so quiet over there.

City lose to a 93rd minute Utd winner and 4th spot twists back into our favour.

Injury and selection issues? Lack of true depth in squad? Fallacies. Heart and desire, intent and control. Tempo made in N17. We've had it all season long, disappointed at times, but in the past two games - when it mattered the most we brought it to the table. Just hope we can do the same against the likes of Bolton and Burnley.

Bale was awesome. Just awesome. What. A. Player. Brilliant goal. Dawson immense. In front of Fabio. Modric in the middle. He  can't play there, can he? Hehe.

Terry red-carded, a delight. Couldn't happen to a nicer bloke. 2-1 was - and I'm pinching myself - not a justifiable scoreline. Should have scored more. Would have been done and dusted long before Lampard’s consolation. Roman guilty of a sitter. Bale and Defoe had efforts.  Bentley's brilliant lob sublime.

Talking of JD. Glad he's got it (penalty) out of his system.

Spurs. Title contenders? Of course not. Title influencers? Aye. Champions League front runners? This week. Yes. Makes you wonder. Had we won through into the Cup final, would the hunger and focus in the league have been this great? Whatever Harry is doing I applaud. The players also deserve the utmost credit for the way we've gone from slipping all over the Wembley pitch to flying amongst the clouds.

We were fantastic. On and off the pitch. Top class. Can't wait to listen to Hansen on MotD tonight. Spurs will always let you down, won't they Alan?

/gloat

Only one team in London. Four days. Two DVDs.

More later when I've stopped dancing on the rooftops.

“four-keane-hell for Burnley” - quote of the week

Has this been discussed much on other forums?

Gary Linker is at the centre of a storm for the most ridiculous of reasons after Saturday’s Match of the day show. He ended highlights of Spurs beating Burnley 5-0 by saying “four-keane-hell for Burnley”. The Beeb edited the comment from Sunday’s re-run and fans were quick to complain with one online commenter saying “Poor stuff, he’s a real prat these days. Shall we all complain to the Beeb?”

A BBC spokeswoman said: “As it was transmitted close to midnight it was decided there was little risk of offending.”

Lineker is also in hot water with Liverpudlians because as Fernando Torres walked away with the match ball after his hatrick against Hull, Lineker said “I hope he keeps it somewhere safe”. This was seen as a reference to burglaries on Merseyside and particularly those involving Liverpool players on match days.

Ridiculous.

Caught both his remarks, and I do admit laughing out loud at his oh so subtle but obvious Torres one. The Keane effort was out-standing and had me hitting the rewind on Sky+ to make sure I heard it right. Anyone who complained should be re-directed to my girth, to which they can choke on.

I'd like to lodge a formal complaint about how dismissive Hansen was of Tottenham's display, almost jealous that Spurs had won 5-0, taking a little bit off the shine off Liverpool's 6-1 - with Keane notching 4 compared to the 3 from Torres. How dare we grab a share of the headlines.

I'm not alone in noticing his smirk arrogant grin aimed at Lineker who was happy with Spurs mauling Burnley. It was almost like Hansen was telling him to get back in his box, because it was only Burnley. You know, Burnley, who according to Hansen defended worst much worst....hundreds of times worst than Hull did.

Is it too difficult to just say both Hull and Burnley were both as bad as each other with their lack of defensive organisation? And that Spurs and Liverpool were efficient, confident and clinical?

When we win, its because the other team are shite. Not enough about how professional we were. We lose, and its a massive massive victory for the opposition who tore us to shreds.

The conspiracy and on-going anti-Spurs agenda continues. We lose - we're shit. The teams that beat us - are worthy champions. Figure that one out.

Ah, I'm only jesting. Seriously though, the people who phoned the BBC to complain. You dizzy motherf*ckers. As for Gary, don't let them gag you mate. Your love of Spurs in this Sky Sports dominated world warms me in the coldest of winter nights.