Hot-Spurts

Gylfi Sigurdsson was finally unveiled a Spurs player yesterday. Attacking midfielder, further up the pitch than those with deeper qualities - so he's not a replacement for Luka Modric. But perhaps one that might play the role van der Vaart does. The latter continues to be linked to a move back to Germany whilst the former will hopefully link up in attack with precision passing and pin-point thunderous shots. Useful with set pieces which given our recent history is a Gods send. Let's hope he doesn't lose his abilities from dead ball positions once he dons the Spurs shirt.

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Steven Caulker has signed a new four year contract. High hopes. Brilliant season for Swansea and hopefully will be part of our campaign this one along with what is shaping up to be strong centre-back depth alongside Kaboul, Dawson and Jan Vertonghen (any day now). Still no news on Ledley King's decision on whether to retire and if he plans to accept one of the clubs offers to retain him at the club (perhaps as a coach).

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Pienaar back to Everton. No shocker. Well documented he wanted to join Spurs then soon admitted a mistake and wanted to leave. A signing the chairman made the manager didn't want. I'll add in 'allegedly' to give it that whimsical touch of confusion. Because you wouldn't believe it was Bill Kenwright that confirmed all of the above. Ooh ITK. Where's my badge of honour?

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Talking of Vertonghen, he's training with his current club Ajax although sources in Holland suggest by Monday he'll be training with us. The player appears to be philosophically ambiguous, suggesting he's prepared to move but is happy at Ajax but would be disappointed if he didn't join Spurs. The contract wrangling over money owed to him by Ajax remains the glitch in completing the move. Medical, contract and fee all agreed and done.

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Oscar? Tim Vickery (South American football expert) had this to say on a much maligned radio station. Rare credibility for them.

Seems a mature young man. Happy to take responsibility. Always a gamble bringing him over. Question over whether Inter want to sell. Given the choice I think they would rather sell Leandro Damiao.... They have a hefty wage bill and might need to sell. Would be surprised if they have done a deal already (before the olympics)

This particular link has been doing the rounds since last season when Oscar was connected with Tottenham (along with Leandro, no not that one, another youthful Brazilian striker). It's all been made more tangible by the fact that Inter already have a relationship with us (Sandro) and our persistence on Damiao (which has cooled). Villas-Boas was recently in Brazil. Daniel Levy was recently in the USA (could have comfortably taken a connecting flight?). Let's do the maths and dance a jig. This one might actually happen.

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dos Santos on ESPN radio:

"I want to return to Spain, there is a new coach at Tottenham, a new season is starting and it is clear to me that I want to return to Spanish football."

All dependent if Levy is still looking to earn back more on the player than he spent on him. Is £4M a fair valuation? Taking wages paid to player into consideration, it's probably why he gets priced out of a move every summer. Levy probably wants £6M. Villas-Boas might fancy him. Wouldn't be the first time a player has returned from the brink of oblivion and made a success of it. Although in his case it will be from the brink of the bar. If legend is true. If it isn't, if the lad does commit in training then we'll see it for ourselves - either at Spurs or in La Liga. Mexico aside he has flattered to deceive. If it's because nobody has believed in him since signing for us, we'll have to wait to be proved wrong - then again, judging by the above quote, we won't see the outcome in Lilywhite.

Talk of a media embargo on a certain sports radio station (yep, the much maligned one) and one of its presenters bragging about 'massive Spurs' news before doing a complete u-turn to suggest he was only referring to the appointment of Villas-Boas. The suggestion is it involves knowledge about this alleged investment/financial injection/naming rights rumour that has spent the best part of the last month waiting to be announced (according to people who claim to know its going to be announced). It gets more colourful when people start to connect the dots, claiming it's why Bale signed a new long term contract and why other players want to sign (as opposed to all that just being business as usual in-house developments). Until Tottenham reveal all, it's all guess work.

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Caulker and Villas-Boas photographed at The Lodge in Under Armour shirts. Cockerel on opposite side of where it would usually grace the chest. Innovation.

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Player exodus:

Ben Alnwick - to Barnsley

Oscar Jansson - released

Jesse Waller Lassen - released

Kudos Oyenuga / Mirko Ranieri - contracts expired but no more info

A collective 'meh' is shrugged.

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Goal line technology set to be introduced this season. It's all coming together people. No longer shall we be cheated. FA could be introducing it during December (won't be ready before then) so controversy still has a few games left to break hearts.

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Newcastle away. Live on ESPN. The revolution will be televised. Haters gonna hate.

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Latest from the ITK grapevine: Hugo Lloris is linked. Too early to scratch our heads over this one. Easy to forget we still have Gomes at the club. Adebayor might sign permanently, always a 50/50 chance of that happening based on his loan spell with us. Now that Sahin has ruled himself out of moving away from Real Madrid, Gonzalo Higuain is being linked as part of a deal involving Luka Modric. Higuain? Far fetched. Out of our reach. Didn't we go through this already with the Benzema fantasy? It's got to be fantasy, right? Yes? No?

Time for a cold shower.

Villas-Boas Opus: Beginnings

And so it begins. A new error. Sorry, era. Damn it. I forgot myself there for a moment. Thought I was sat behind a desk staring at a Sky Sports News camera reading an auto-cue. Or walking around N17 aimlessly searching for an armchair. Or perhaps even picking up the phone and calling into talk radio to complain. What was that famous line about idiots? I need to choose my media outlets more carefully in future, avoid the confusion. Okay, so let's try this again.

Welcome Andre Villas-Boas to the Lane.

Finally, the worst kept secret is out, done and dusted. Even though we knew it was coming it still managed to pack a punch by knocking out the server the official Tottenham Hotspur site sits on. Only Spurs could make an announcement but not physically share the statement. The traffic bulldozing its way through bandwidth like Harry Redknapp seeking a working microphone after a round of golf. Relentless, such was the anticipation of all the speculation. We've been expecting this news for a while so you can't blame us for foaming at the mouth just to hear it from the only source that matters. Having it finally confirmed by Daniel Levy allows us to get on with things, with pre-season training and working towards consolidating the current transfer sagas we're involved in and targeting new players for that new era.

Villas-Boas is now part of the family. Kitted out in a curious Under Armour training top (with the crest on the opposite side it usually sits proudly on) and shown around the Lodge in Chigwell - no doubt already getting involved in tactics, appointing a sweeper to clean up all the chalk pieces used up by the previous regime. Someone no doubt busy wiping that board clean. I'm thinking we don't have to worry about the Portuguese for ‘run around a bit and kick the ball’.

Pull up a chair. Thoughts in response to Levy’s statement on the OS:


> The Club is delighted to announce that Andre Villas-Boas has joined as our new Head Coach on a 3 year contract.

Standard contract. Probably a clause in there to renew. If he’s a success, he stays and continues to build or he packs up and moves on. Club wins. If he doesn’t go well and he’s 'let go', we don’t want to be forking out masses of compensation. Modern football is all about the short-termism with players, with managerial appoints and with expectations. There is no seasoned patience. You get a bedding in period and then you’re thrown to the dogs if you don’t produce the results. I don’t want to keep referring back to Harry Redknapp (here I go again) as I’ve covered practically everything there is to say on his tenure in previous articles. What we’ve been left with, his legacy, is consistency and stability and in some ways the potential to be better. Redknapp is already talking up how Villas-Boas and Tottenham (to be more specific) have the squad to challenge for the title.

Yes, it’s more Redknappology from the great man, applying the right measure of pressure on his replacement and allowing the media to build up their portfolio of disparaging evidence if we find ourselves in the midst of a transition. The fact is, Redknapp has left us with some very tasty looking stats. But no side dish to complement them, therefore the belly is left rambling with food for thought. He had us believing then adapted his ambitions based on where the team sat in the league. The squad was, in Redknapp’s own words, ‘good enough’ but yet fell short for a variety of reasons. Depth in key areas, lack of rotation, lack of shrewd calculated preparation and so forth. So although in relative terms, based on our Prem history, we have excelled we have also failed to maximise the resources in our possession – that’s based on the very same logic Redknapp preaches. But he contradicts to his heart content. Stripping him (perish the thought) and the rest of the ideology behind ‘this is as good as we’ve ever had it’ – the fact remains, it can be better. Harry lost the opportunity to have another go at it. Villas-Boas is now that man. So is he under pressure?

Please, someone point me in the direction of a football manager that isn’t under pressure? There is no easy job in football. Equally so, managing Spurs is hardly the easiest of tasks. Mainly due to a combination of entitlement, ambition, delusion, heart on sleeves, fickleness, impatience and traditions and ethics of football we expect to see played out. We’re not an easy lot to cater for. In the past it was a poison chalice. Mid-table and struggling for consistency we aimed upwards via yet another rebirth only to spiral back down once more. Then from Jol to Ramos to Redknapp we’ve found prolonged form. The club now has the players and the fortitude to be contenders, as proven. We’re just not quite experienced enough. For all the swashbuckle and swagger we still get kneed in the balls too often.

Villas-Boas is no different from the Redknapp appointment in terms of risk. Harry came in to steady the ship. Did we expect or hope for more? With so many failed experiments, back to basics was the winning formula all along. But it’s not robust. It’s not perfect. Does a club and its fans accept it all because it’s a vast improvement on a decade of disappointment or does it look to progress, evolve further in order to truly consolidate its new founded stature and work towards the next level? Why should we tag ourselves with being the perpetual pretenders and just embrace stability at the risk of it going stale? You take risks all the time. Audere est Facere. Is that not at the very core of our footballing DNA? For years we’ve endeavoured but we’ve simply not been good enough. Now we are, we should continue to aim higher. Daring is achieving.

In my footballing fantasy I wanted Villas-Boas at Spurs when he was at Porto and was gutted he went to Chelsea. The guidance undertaken with Robson and Mourinho, can’t be ignored. His achievements at Porto were amazing. I bet we all fall in love with the Europa League this season because we take it seriously and attempt to win it. Don’t underestimate the power a manager can have on the supporters and how the team approaches the challenges ahead of us. The simplest things can be reinvented, the meaningless become meaningful.

He made mistakes at the Stamford Bridge club and appeared to drown in all the dressing room conspiracies and tabloid backlash. He was waterboarded out of a job. So the hottest thing in football management is what, suddenly not that very good? Chelsea is hardly the most comfortable chair to sit in. There was a feeling he tried to do too much too quickly with the wrong set of players and ideas that simply did not fit his template. Look at some of their previous appointments and how they suffered at the hands of player power and boardroom baying. Some of his selections and tactics appeared erratic but even with best intentions they won’t play out if the players hearts are not in it (Ramos and Spurs the perfect illustration).

Lessons learnt? We hope. But let’s not patronise the man for being thirty-four years of age. He’s no idiot and he’ll have taken his hellish baptism and had a quiet word with himself, hopefully exorcising any lingering demons. It was a rush, botched up job by all concerned because of the ill-fated variables festering at that club. It’s a different challenge at Spurs altogether. Chelsea are expected (by Roman) to dominate every season. Even managers that win trophies are shown the door. Even the special one was made to feel not so special.

Fact is, he has the balls to come back to the Prem, to a London rival and be up against the same people that loved to watch him fail. He's back even with the added bonus of all the Redknapp-worshippers already piecing together their obituaries which they probably won’t be able to hold back from previewing come the first defeat we suffer. With any luck Villas-Boas has worked on his deliver a little in prep for future post-match interviews. No point making a difficult job even harder. Humility can be a vital characteristic. Not just in public, but also on the training pitch.

We have not a clue how things will pan out. All we can be is positive. All we can do is back him. And more importantly, the chairman – the key to unlocking the preverbal door to that next level – has to back him unequivocally. The players also have a duty to the shirt and the supporters. Massive difference between Redknapp and Villas-Boas. They need to also be unequivocal in their trust of their new coach.

> Andre was previously at Porto and led them to an undefeated season in the league, winning four trophies and becoming the youngest manager ever to win a European title in the process, before joining Chelsea and extending his run to 39 games undefeated.

This alone excites me. He hasn’t suddenly forgotten how to manage successfully at the top level. The players at Porto adore him. Okay, managing a club in your home country is going to be more agreeable with all concerned than managing one abroad. Blanc was the only other preferable choice out there in terms of experience. Rodgers would have been a risk as big as any other appointment. We have tried all sorts of coaches and systems and it feels right that this appointment ties in with the clubs future. We need to be progressive. Villas-Boas is a modern manager and rather than say allowing him to use Tottenham as a blank canvas to create a vision, we have given him a chance to share our own. The training ground, youth development, the quality of our first team. This has been ongoing for some time – it simply needs a football philosophy to bring it altogether. Our last manager worked wonders for the team. The new one might work wonders for the club.

> Commenting on the appointment, Chairman, Daniel Levy said: “I am delighted that Andre has agreed to become our new Head Coach.  He has an outstanding reputation for his technical knowledge of the game and for creating well-organised teams capable of playing football in an attractive and attacking style.  Andre shares our long-term ambitions and ethos of developing players and nurturing young talent, and he will be able to do so now at a new world class Training Centre.”

One or two of you (discussed on social media) have found concerns with that last sentence in the above quote. You’ve seen it as some formal acceptance that we’ve unofficially returned to the ‘director of football’ science of running a club. Firstly, earlier in the quote Levy refers to Villas-Boas as ‘head coach’. Not manager. It’s all the same thing. Wasn’t Martin Jol head coach? VB will have agreed the setup and vision outlined by Levy so he’s hardly going to accept a job where he feels he will be undermined. I’m not going to entertain the suggestion that Levy’s ego can’t take being second best to the person running the football team. His relationship with Redknapp was not working. Hopefully what we’ll have here is Levy acting like a general manager (as he has been doing since the DoF system was discarded). VB will want to sign his own players, Levy will handle that. Support the coach. I don’t see an issue with this unless Levy and VB do not agree on transfer targets. Which is how the previous relationship suffered. The fact we have players ‘in talks’ might even be a gentle nod towards VB’s approval during talks between club and coach before a contract was agreed upon.

In terms of short-termism, it’s still relevant. We have to sustain a top four challenge. But already you can imagine VB being ambitious in wanting to win every competition he’s involved in. This should be about tweaking and improving the side, making sure that the best players fit the best formation and tactics to lead the club forward. Redknapp was brilliant at getting the players playing in their best positions but there has to be another dimension to how you approach games. You only have to look at the truly successful clubs in football to understand that you can't always just go out there and attempt to out play the opposition.

In terms of the long term vision, why should we not want to make the most of our new Enfield training ground and make sure that in the years to come we actually have a youth academy that is producing first team players. Another bugbear of modern football, one that we’ve been guilty of ignoring for years and just splashing out on big money signings all the time. Although when we have produced a good player, they’ve been world class (Campbell, King). Our current development squad and youth teams are also impressive (at their level) but time will tell if they are good enough to break into first team football.

Not suggesting we are in any position to recreate La Masia in North London, but do you think Manchester City aren’t thinking of something similar when they build their £50M state of the art training facility? Having the facilities is great but there’s a mindset and a sense of pride, ethos and identity that also needs to be instilled. That might still remain a function of Tim Sherwood’s and I’m probably getting way ahead of myself. Mainly because this won’t be the priority, but I already sense there’s a master-plan behind this particular part of the clubs vision. We have to be ambitious at every level. We have a tradition at Spurs. If the academy are worked towards adhering to it and players are signed based on a style of football...perhaps I'm over-dramatising this, but grass-roots is criminal to ignore.

> Speaking as the new Head Coach, Andre Villas-Boas said, “Tottenham Hotspur is a great club with a strong tradition and fantastic support, both at home and throughout the world.  I feel privileged to be its coach.  For me, this is one of the most exciting coaching positions in the Premier League. I have had several discussions with the Chairman and the Board and I share their vision for the future progress of the Club. This is a squad any coach would love to work with and together I believe we can bring success in the seasons ahead."

It’s what you want to hear from the new man. Back of the net. We’ve got ourselves a hungry football manager that has a massive point to prove. As long as he keeps that determination contained and channelled, getting the very best out of Spurs then we’re going to enjoy seeing a very good side mature into a beast.

> Andre brings with him two members of his coaching staff - First Team fitness coach Jose Mario Rocha and Daniel Sousa, head of opposition scouting.

Already, I’m smiling. ‘Head of opposition scouting’. Fitness coaches. I’ll take a guess that our set-pieces and pre-match preparation will be unrecognisable to what we’ve been used to in the past several years. Redknapp gave us entertaining football, the style of which we come to expect at Spurs, but he also gave us substance and backbone. We had heart and grit to go with the free flowing football. But there was still an apparent lack of cutting edge, on the pitch and from the bench. There was no acceptance that we actually under-achieved – not compared to the past (it’s hardly a difficult task to better it when you improve tenfold) but compared with the untapped potential it's arguably wasted in the present. Unless the harsh reality is the reason we lost that ten point gap was because we are not good enough on all levels required to retain such a gap. In other words, as good as we can be its not quite good enough if 3rd or 2nd place is the target you wish to embrace.

A truly focused manager would demand more from himself to be able to inspire. What Villas-Boas has to do is introduce the mind-set but also retain the togetherness and avoid trying to mix things up too quickly. Our squad is far more adaptable to his tactics than his previous one. More youth, more pace.

By mind-set, I'd point towards our failings last season. Say the lack of coverage in the box when attacking leading to loss of clinical finishing in front of goal. Misuse of certain players. If you fine-tune the side and we continue to create but also score and improve on performances from last season - then we're going to win more games. It's logic you can scribble on the back of a handkerchief. Far more difficult to deploy from training to dressing room to the pitch - but then that's why we've upgraded our manager.

Redknapp’s strongest ability was man-management of players he favoured. If VB can retain the unity - we are onto a winner. It’s the area he was scrutinised for at Chelsea. Failure of managing the players (although one or two did not appear to want to be managed). It will be very interesting to see which of our players find themselves in favour with VB in terms of being allowed a chance to prove themselves again. Equally so how much other players will improve with more disciplined responsibilities.

> Daniel Levy continued: "We are constantly looking to move the Club forward.  It is important that we now look to develop the potential within the squads at all levels, whilst strengthening the First Team in the summer in key positions with players who will become part of the future success of the Club.”

Levy has his hands full with the stadium. There are rumours of investments, naming rights. We’re also about to find out how much money we have in the War Chest. Which might tell us plenty more about the Levy/Redknapp transfer relationship. If we suddenly spend big, was it because Redknapp wasn’t interested in the big money signings Levy wanted or did Levy simply not make the funds available to him?

Modric will be sold if we fail to trick him into staying (won’t sell to an English club so La Liga beckons). So expect a major signing to replace him. VB might look towards his former club, Porto and Moutinho (or the Brazilian Oscar). We've got the new boy Sigurdsson, an attacking midfielder who plays further up the pitch rather than sitting deep. At some point we might even see Vertonghen in a Spurs shirt. VB will possibly look to mould us into a dashing 433 with over-lapping fullbacks, high intensity inside forwards, high line. Bale on the left, cutting in with effect rather than roaming aimlessly. Where does van der Vaart fit into it if at all? One (Parker) holding midfielder or two (+ Sandro)? Is Defoe good enough to lead the line? Are we planning on going back in for Adebayor on a permanent basis or look for a blockbuster striker elsewhere? We’re also going to need another winger for the right-hand side to assist Lennon over the course of the season. That's if we play 433 and if Lennon can fit into the forward three. All rather wonderful questions that need to be answered in time for Newcastle away. These are good problems to have.

Levy understands we need to improve the squad. Not only because of Villas-Boas requirements but because we were left wanting last season by not rotating. Possibly because Redknapp did not trust or did not manage the players on the bench with enough astuteness. The league – no matter the arguments over what truly matters in football (i.e. winning silverware) is where VB will be judged because of the prioritising of Champions League qualification. We need to be Trojans, we need to last a long time. The whole course of the season.

This will be a monumental summer. It can’t be anything else. It's started well. Bale contract, Villas-Boas, Sig. Levy knows we are 5 years or so away from having the revenue to compete at the same level as the other clubs in the top tier of the Prem, financially. That’s when the Northumberland Development Project finally gets under way. Balancing everything – it’s no walk in the park. We have to compete in Europe every season until the NDP is complete. Ideally it would be the Champions League we're competing in. Which is why short-term and long-term has to become one and the same thing. Regardless of ENIC’s end game (to sell the club to keep their shareholders happy), to get there they know the club has to be successful on the pitch as well as continuing to bolster the bank account.

We have to retain faith. Levy has to retain faith. We have to have faith in Andre Villas-Boas. It’s a team game. With traits of redemption.

In terms of us, the supporters, it’s worth noting that even with the success we’ve had in recent years (aside from the Carling Cup) we haven’t actually won anything. 4^th, 5^th and 4^th have simply given us a foundation to build on. For me, the team I watch has to be a Spurs team. You know what I mean by that so I won’t explain it. We’ve got ourselves a new architect now. One that we might all find ourselves enjoying his work more so as a collective than the previous builder who at times didn't bother to plaster over the cracks in the wall preferring to stand outside enjoying the sunshine.

The future is always bright because it’s no way to follow your team worrying about negatives that have not played out and might never play out. Being Spurs means you are in the eye of the storm of the greatest footballing soap opera there is. We’re made of stern stuff, suffering all the dramatics, year after year. Hopefully with this appointment the team will be made of equally stern stuff with a plethora of sexy coated on.

COYS.

THFC probability-o-meter

Current order of probability for this week (1 being most probable, 10 least likely):

1 - Andre Villas-Boas announced

2 - Jan Vertonghen signs

3 - Gylfi Sigurðsson signs

4 - Ledley King announcement (re: retirement, future at Spurs)

5 - Investment / Naming Rights finanical injection

6 - Oscar dos Santos Emboaba Júnior signs

7 - Chirpy sex and drugs scandal

8 - Director of Football return

9 - dos Santos to be sold

10 - Harry Redknapp to not have an opinion on any of the above

Yes I know, it's not technically an o-meter, it's just a bog standard list. Deal with it.

Policing & Stewarding at the Lane

Policing & Stewarding of Premier League Fans Survey.

If you've got a spare moment or two, on behalf of The Football Supporters' Federation, please click on the above link and complete the survey. The aim is to heighten awareness towards finding out what Spurs fans perceive as issues at games regarding match day policing.

The FSF work with a various police forces to try and improve match day policing and we're attending a meeting at New Scotland Yard along the FSF and other London club fan groups so it's important we get as much feedback as possible. If you have any concerns you want us to air, this is your opportunity.

So please complete the survey and if you've got anything else to share, use the comments section on the blog.

Ta.

www.fsf.org.uk

www.thefightingcock.co.uk

New cockerel teased

Shared by yoof player Cameron Lancaster via Twitter:

July 12th we get to see all of it.

Under Armour can be found on Twitter - @UnderArmourUK. They appear to be slightly more forthcoming with the banter than the Official Spurs feed.

Hot Spurts

Quick run-down of today's 'news'.

1st of July. Not so Super Sunday. The main Tottenham related highlight was Under Armour releasing the launch date of the new Spurs shirt. So basically the big news was an announcement being announced. The 2012-2013 kits will be unveiled on Thursday 12th and available to order to purchase from Spurs shops the next day. Yep, that's right, on Friday 13th. You just can't make this ilk of PR up.

The new era is still waiting to make its grand entrance. Pick any day this up and coming week and you might strike lucky. We all know it's going to happen, we all know what's going to happen so there's very little to say until after it's happened. But to reiterate, I'm positively beaming with encouragement and excitement.

Khumalo is set for PAOK in Greece. A season long loan. It's signings like this that make me question some of Levy's ethics in the transfer market. What was the point of him joining Spurs in the first place only to be sent out to the Championship? When Harry spoke about the lad was he just doing so to raise the profile of the player and if so why? Just so Reading can sign him? This smells of raising another type of profile in South Africa. That's football. Anyone know where Toda is these days? Then again, you could argue what was the point in signing the likes of dos Santos and Bentley. That's also football. Mistakes happen regularly.

The Times were the first to break the story linking us to Brazilian starlet Oscar who plays for our buddy club Internacional. I don't know much about him (do any of us unless you follow South American football?) but do remember similar stories about our interests in him from last year. Mainly because I signed him in Football Manager soon after reading about it. Tasty attacking midfield pixels that might translate well in the real world. Although if this is something that pans out to be true, along with Sigurdsson and our current central mids, we have a plethora of talent to visually taste cometh the new season. AVB was in Brazil scouting recently, so this one might be a possibility. Leandro Damiao (for now) does not look like one based on recent speculation and price tags.

Cracking teasing, flirting quote from Moutinho (FC Porto) saying, "I'd work with him again tomorrow" - re: AVB. Obviously meant as compliment of how highly regarded a coach Villas-Boas is. But pretty much more meat to sink our teeth in to what will be a feast of targets that will be cited post-press conference (tune in on Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday, maybe Thursday or Friday). We'll be looking for a Luka replacement. Oscar or Moutinho?

From one question to another. Theo Walcott to Spurs? Yeah sure, why not. For £4M he'll do well to come off the bench for the final 15 minutes of games. Give Lennon a rest.

Redknapp was in the press a couple of days back talking to Sky Sports wasn't he? Who cares.

Ledley King retirement imminent? We know something will soon be announced as we've already been told King is considering his options. The man is so much part of the club that there is little chance of him being potentially discarded when the new manager arrives, in terms of a coaching position. Unless King is looking for a more ambassadorial role at Spurs. Ledley retiring is possibly for the best, for his own health and future. A brilliant and majestic footballer, a legend. Whatever his decision he'll remain Tottenham forever and if he wants to be involved the club have a duty to make sure he is.

Investment on the cards? According to Graham Roberts on the radio. According to the ITK news from the past few weeks. Although this seems to be mostly guess work (i.e. I know someone who knows something), from directors supposedly told to remain in the country and not go on holiday to rumours about funds being made available to aid in breaking the wage structure or perhaps naming rights for the new stadium. Surely any investment would go towards the latter?

Bale out of the GB team. Meh. Pre-season is upon us. Don't care for much else other than my club. The whole Stratford affair has burnt me out and I have little interest in the Olympics.

Thoughts on that Daily Express article here.

In other news: Euro Final. In summary, Spain play possession football to ease into the final, get called boring, up their game by a notch, destroy Italy.

Tottenham set for relegation if they appoint Andre Villas-Boas

Guest blog by Daily Express journalist and rreporter Colin Mafham

Tottenham Hotspur are on the verge of a cataclysmic black hole that will systematically suck their history, past present and future, to oblivion crushing all hopes to ever aspire to bettering the Harry Redknapp era at White Hart Lane.

The suggestions are the former Chelsea flop, Andre Villas-Boas, will take the job in a futile attempt to improve his own damaged beyond repair career having only previously enjoyed moderate success at Porto. Club captain Ledley King is holding emergency talks currently with the intention to strike once Spurs unveil their new Christian Gross. The supporters are hoping Villas-Boas has enough credit on his Oyster Card to find his way back home from N17 after what many expect to become a disastrous second season in England, one that sends Spurs spiralling back down to midtable.

King (according to our club insiders) will not be offered a new contract and will be kicked out of the club by Villas-Boas as his first act as Spurs boss. The suggestion is Villas-Boas plans to damage King's only working knee to make sure the player retires from the game completley. Also, all squirrels will be hunted down and killed at Tottenham's new training ground because Villas-Boas is pure pure evil and hates anything fluffy and furry. Which doesn't bode will for Tom Huddlestone who will be ordered to shave off his afro (grown for charity) because Villas-Boas is rotten to the core. The sixteen year old Portuguse manager with no experience in the game also enjoys to **** in your bowl of corn-flakes if given the chance.

Spurs fans on Twitter are outraged and are calling for the club to roll back and reappoint club legend Harry Redknapp. One fans claims, "I've never heard of this Villas-Boas" whilst another commented, "He looks like a serial-killer". There are also suggestions that Villas-Boas purposely lost his job at Chelsea to take the Spurs job in order to sabotage the club, with his former employee Roman Abramovich financing the conspiracy. There's no evidence to suggest this but I'm fairly certain it's the truth.

Nico Kranjcar and Vedran Corluka have already deserted the sinking ship and pivotal players dos Santos and the brilliant David Bentley are writing up their transfer requests as we speak.

Regardless, chairman Daniel Levy is pushing ahead with signing players without the consent or knowledge of the new manager, suggesting there is already trouble at the mill. Had Levy retained the services of Redknapp, with the players Harry would have signed, Spurs would have achieved the position Harry would have got at the end of the season against all odds and punching above their weight.

A demonstration is planned later on today by journalists and sports editors.

Tantric

Once again, it's sounding like everything (the new manager and two very well documented targeted players) are done and dusted and that Spurs are waiting on their pre-arranged pencilled-in date to make it all public due to contractual obligations/new Spurs shirt/insert your own conspiracy theory here.

Every thing is set and Spurs are holding back, much like you would do with a beautiful woman. Hold back as much and as long as possible because the climax will be spine-tingling. Why finish up quickly? Tease and dictate and then detonate. What would Sting do? Then again, to be fair, following Spurs is less missionary and more Sadomasochism. But we don't complain. I don't complain. I never complain. I sometimes beg. We still talking about football?

As for all the rhetoric and conjecture? Most of it, especially anything relating to transfers and rumours, and the resulting ideology behind it resonates from one place.

Social media.

Long gone are the days when you only had a conversation at the pub before and after the game or at school/college/work on a Monday morning. Teletext Clubcall adverts whilst waiting for page two of the latest scores to appear. Not forgetting the original Titans of ITK and attention seeking, the tabloid back pages (especially on a Sunday). The latter dethroned by the Gods of the modern grapevines. All consuming knowledge with us royally drunk on consumption. It's like the Matrix with one hundred thousand Oracles sitting on a park bench. The rest are made up of Keanu Reeves, thousands of them, with sharp tongues running around a lot and kicking. Harry Redknapp will probably claim he had something to do with that.

Every thought is instantaneously shared. Which could quite easily be the outstanding reason to avoid social media altogether. Every piece of commentary, action, incident, goal, sound-bite is micro-analysed and dissected. Before you can blink there are memes, animated gifs, appreciation threads and usually plenty of obsessive 'let me get there first' shouting to claim fifteen seconds of notoriety before it fades into the next million repeats. Once upon a time, real life gave us mad jokes and iconic moments of our lives and now you spend your time talking about something 'epic' on the internet that happened on the internet.

There is no time for pausing.

At the best of times there is a lack of any true understanding of irony or sarcasm unless it comes accompanied with previous nods to comedy via caveat. Everyone is a critic and nobody can take criticism whilst some like to dish it out and block you before you can respond. Back pages of the tabloids? When was the last time anyone ever used the back page of a tabloid as the catalyst for major discussion? They only mirror what was said 24 hours earlier on someone's time-line. Tomorrow's news is what its always been, thoughtful commentary on what occurred a day earlier. Unless it's been made up to fuel the next day's hellmouth of debate online. Social media is today's news now and is mostly driven by our own desire to drown out other people's ego's with less thoughtful commentary.

It might look messy, it is messy, it's usually full of Messi. There's no denying it. If you follow the right amount of people, a mixture of fellow supporters, journalists, writers you'll have yourself a scenic majestic volcano of pulsating lava. Just don't stand too close or you'll burn. It's alive, constantly breathing out (hot air, lol). A glorified frenzied chat room with message board qualities. A community I guess. You can even meet people off Twitter and go down the pub with them. It's usually an anti-climax that. Mainly because at the best of times I can only muster two sentences worth of speak at any given time. Which ironically works out to about 140 characters.

But still, what would we do without it?

Possibly spend more time outside for a start. Conversing with the missus on the latest Eastenders story arc (Derek Branning and his Spurs robe? I reckon he was a Shelf Sider myself, pwoper norty) or perhaps allowing my daughter the luxury of an occasional walkabout when unlocking the airing cupboard for her twenty minutes of light. So much joy to behold, yet all lost whilst with me firmly seated in front of a pc/lap top/smart phone. Forever refreshing, desperate for that one last tweet before logging off. But oh no, I just thought of something really witty, I have to log on again. Oh ffs, my wi-fi is playing up, no dinner will have to wait a second, I've got something to share and God darn it the Internet has to know!

Placing the vanity driven Instagramed photos of people's dinner aside and a variety of other chat and forum-like discussions (usually arguments) I honestly can't think of a better medium than Twitter for information sharing. Like a beautiful wild fire that destroys but its flames mesmerise all that stare upon it. Yeah sure, you have to work your way through some of the smoke but I never feel like it's a wasted journey. Not just referring to transfer gossip here. But the amount of exquisitely crafted writing to be had is just fantastic. Not just fellow Tottenham bloggers, but across the board from all over the planet. It's a rich resource. It can also bring people together (oh cringe mate cringe). Sat online one late evening last year, the idea to finally record a podcast was birthed with a drunken exchange online with a like-minded individual. Some would say we've never been sober since.

My dinner. Because to understand me you need to understand what I eat.

We've all been discussing the imminent managerial appointment of Villas-Boas for weeks now, so much so that the definition of imminent is about to change to 'an event that is predicted to occur within a one hundred year period'. The signings of Vertonghen and Sigurdsson have also been well documented. The cull of Bond and Jordan, I thought had already been confirmed weeks back but only appeared to make the official site and the newspapers the other day. No word on Allen, I guess he survived.

Social media is making most news outlets fairly redundant for breaking news. They play catch-up or just repeat/rehash old news. One source copying from another and so on. News outlets end up reporting on something that might have originated from a genuine source or a dubious one yet by the time it's published nobody cares. Ouroboros.

Many take every word to be literal and yet in the next sentence argue against its legitimacy. Such is the luncay that it allows for the transparency of agendas to be made very obvious and in a positive way. This gives the power back to the people that in the past mostly did the reading and had no way to knock heads together (Teletext with a chat room would have been laugh a minute).

I'm simplifying things I know. Many journalists tweet a slice of news then write an article if relevant which is published online and then printed the next day. Others just go to print the next day based on something they've read online. Whilst Twitter itself is constantly regurgitating everything whether it's online or in print or on tv, forever feeding its over-populated nest. And somewhere Jim White strokes a white cat. So come this weekend or as much touted, the 1st of July, just pretend to be surprised/excited when we finally welcome the new THFC manager with a signing or two standing alongside him. We are the generation guilty of having far too much time on our hands and constantly wanting to know everything yesterday. Yet in amongst it exists diversity and originality. You just have to fight your way through to find it. Like so much in life, it's unnecessary and yet essential. Damned be the paradox.

There was an X-Files episode where someone ends up uploading their concious to the internet. I reckon most of us are already plugged in beyond escape. But you can get away from it every so often. The pub is never going to disappear. But guaranteed whilst you're enjoying your pint the bloke next to you will be photographing his and uploading it to share to his followers with the tag-line "I'm in the pub! Have we signed anyone yet?"

Follow me on Twitter.

/\

I'm not being ironic there, seriously, follow me.

Go on then, let's flirt with a very reliable source

Bale

It's too humid to think. Got just about enough energy to smile at the news Gareth Bale has signed a new contract. He will progress this season I'm sure of it, with far greater discipline tactically than he experienced last time out. Nothing wrong with switching flanks, cutting in, playing like an inside forward but has to remain effective from the wings with his crossing. With more men in the box, we'll score more goals. Football is simple. He just needs to be controlled and developed for the good of the team, because if he plays well in a team playing great he'll get better. Football really is simple.

Sorry, really obvious statements shared there that we're lost in the hyperbole of season 2012.

A win win for the club. We keep our most potent of weapons and if the CL dream fails to materialise at the end of next season then Barca/Madrid can pay up to buy out the worth of his contract. But let's not think too far ahead. Especially with thoughts of such a negative type. Bale signing a new contract will shatter some of the tabloid hacks who haven't stopped crying their eyes out and spewing spite towards us for the disgraceful sacking of Redknapp. Carry on lads. You'll have plenty to sick your teeth into in the coming months.

ITK INNIT

It's all actually very quiet at the moment aside from all the predictions and rumours of when x y and z will happen. The new manager and new players have been perpetually predicted to happen every week for weeks now. So law of averages, any day now. It's like a competition with the ITK's and club insiders. Twenty blokes all standing feet away from a dart board all wearing masks all throwing for the bullseye.

Can I play too?

I saw this posted over at the epic ITK collection thread (clicky click) at The Fighting Cock (the actual source is 'Ryan' via FTL). I feel cheap and dirty doing this. Probably should have added a question mark to the article heading.

"Some ITK news for you from a VERY reliable source:
Vertonghen WILL be a Spurs player come July 1st
Sig WILL be a Spurs player come July 1st
Loic Remy WILL be a spurs player come July 10th (delays in agreeing terms)
Modric WILL be sold to Real Madrid (?30m + Sahin) by July 9th
AVB WILL be Spurs manager on July 1st
we WILL be signing with our MAJOR sponsor/investor for naming rights on July 15th
Stadium work WILL be commencing July 27th after the signing of the final contracts.
2 x more MAJOR signings WILL be made before July 18th"

Covers practically everything being discussed currently.

My thoughts?

Vert will end up signing. Predicting something that everyone knows is 99% done is hardly ITK. The player, Ajax, everyone involved (apart from Spurs) have more or less confirmed it's happening but there are snags to do with money owed. Well, money the player believes to be owed, his current club disagreeing. I'll favour it happening because in principle, it's done. The technicality is pretty much bullied into the corner (99% v 1%) and Spurs, as quiet and professional as they are on this saga, won't allow the deal to die if we are truly serious about making him one of us.

Sig is a done deal. Again, it's been shared publicly. Okay, so you might argue it's been shared by foreign websites equally as dubious as some of our English based red tops, but it all fits in quite well with one or two official feeds confirming the deal. Quite happy with this one. Young, attacking midfielder. Cracking shot, forward rather than deep and gives us options. Rotation when required is imperative this time out. We need the quality to sustain it.

Remy. Don't know. He's been linked all summer, it's probably worth a punt. Steady that hand when throwing that dart. I personally think (as per the usual template of surprise) that any further signings will come from left-field and surprise us. No, no, when I say left-field I don't mean left-footed by the way. No cryptics here. Just a gut feeling. Then again, once the manager is appointed, our targets might become far more apparent and with any luck happen far quicker than how the summer has crawled along so far. More likely Adebayor than Remy (I'm using the logic of 'he played for us last season' as my reasoning there).

Modric? Of course he's going to Madrid. Where else is he going to go? No chance Levy will let him sign for another English club. Madrid only possible club that can afford him. Levy won his battle with Chelsea and with the Croatian being at his prime to be sold on for a massive profit, the club will take that quite easily. It's a massive shame we're losing him. Honestly think retaining him + new manager and new players would galvanise us. But new beginning, the player wants his wage packet and CL football now, so selling him abroad makes it easier to swallow.

Sahin as part of the deal? Think this is probably based on the fact that Luka would push Sahin further down the pecking order and what with our 'relationship' with Madrid, 1+1 calculators are working over time. Think we need someone far more prominent and high profile as our 'new playmaker'. Very much dependent on the style of football we play next season. Do like us being Madrid's feeder side though. Better than selling our best players to Utd.

AVB on the first of July? Again, very well documented. Plenty of whispers about contractual obligations and such. The silence is deafening. Worst kept secret in football. I'll welcome him, I'm buzzing about it. As long as he scraps the side line squatting, I'll welcome him with open arms. Just make sure you're not squatting because I'm not bending down to hug you. He likes his three up top, two inside forwards with a lone striker. Holding midfielder (or two), Sandro could play a massive part this up and coming season. Some media training, a few post-match smiles and the pressure won't be half as as bad as long as the Lane sing a song or two in his name. We've got the quality, we'll consolidate it with new blood. We just need to learn to be shrewd, heartless and cut throat, killing teams off.

Sponsor/investor and stadium, would welcome it. Haven't got much to say on this other than its fairly imperative the club outline times-cales for the NDP. We know it's going to happen but it's not quite happening but it can't not happen. So here we are waiting.

Two more major signings? No sh** Sherlock. You think Levy isn't going to give AVB a war chest? I'm sure in the coming weeks we'll be linked with every other top star at Porto.

That was fun. I might do this again.

Time to doff our hat to the potential return of the DoF?

Last week we recorded an emergency episode of The Fighting Cock podcast to cover Harry Redknapp's departure and the managers being linked with replacing him. Tim Sherwood was mentioned, not as a replacement but in connection with the alleged potential return of the DoF at the Lane. Firstly, my issue with this is simple. What is the basis for the rumour? Is it because the back to basics approach that replaced Comolli with Harry has come to an end? Or is it because Sherwood survived the cull that saw Allen, Bond and Jordan leave the club? I don't see how such an appointment would work or for that matter be feasible because of his complete lack of experience at the very highest level. It's a non-starter for him. Is it a non-starter full stop? Or is it only a non-starter when assuming the role is similar to past ones we've seen at the club?

If Levy was considering restructuring the hierarchy and re-introducing it, what exactly would the DoF system work when compared to its past ? I've written this article for my own process of dismissing the system from being a relevant option for Spurs to re-introduce. It's not really as in-depth as I set out to craft. It's just me moaning and waffling. You know the drill. I say a bunch of stuff out loud and hopefully in the mess you lot can pull out sound-bites and argue and debate amongst yourselves.

I've been asking myself that question over and over again. What exactly would the DoF system be if re-introduced at Spurs? Would it match the previous under Comolli or the one where Pleat acted like a glorified scout knocking heads with Hoddle and giving us joyful sagas such as 'Rebrov' and 'Diego'? I don't care for the footballing dictionary definition because of the variety of incarnations we've witnessed under the same chairman. Add to it the fact that other clubs are of no significance thanks to the rather sensational reason that other clubs are not THFC.

Under Comolli, the quintessential Spurs DoF appoints the coach/manager and they work in unison, a collaboration, to sign players that fit whatever formation and club model they agree upon with the chairman. It's a system completely reliant on both men being one hundred percent on the same page. It's long term aim is to create stability with transfers and potentially with ideology of said transfers, so that if the manager/coach is replaced the DoF brings in a new man and the transition isn't too disruptive. It's what Levy was advised to look into and introduce when he was still a footballing virgin, turning to advisor's for support. It works on the continent. It works in the NFL. But neither are the English Premier League. It also works in the lower divisions in England but the ambitions and stature of the clubs there provides a different type of working template and very different pressures on all concerned. Again, that's just my own opinion.

Arnesen replaced Pleat. He appointed Santini and then Jol. He left for Chelsea and Comolli took the role and eventually replaced Jol with Ramos. Hardly plain sailing. The ethos and scouting of Arnesen and pattern of incoming players was different to the one introduced by Comolli. I always saw DC as a chief go-getter of potential signings. Levy would rubber-stamp the air travel and off goes DC to bag Berbatov or Zokora (can't always get it right). DC does all the face to face work, easing pressure away from Levy and the manager. But then that just sounds like a more slick productive version of David Pleat.

My discomfort has always been that the DoF, regardless of the fact he's there to support the man he appoints along with the chairman, has too much influence and power that can undermine the coach. Santini struggled. In some ways we hit good form with the unexpected promotion of Martin Jol (conspiracy theorists will suggest Levy felt obliged to appoint Santini, a 'big name' to appease fans and media and Arnesen always had a keen eye on Jol taking the job. Perhaps there is some truth in there that long term, that was the plan, but it came to fruition early). 

Jol was his own man but worked well with Frank and post-Arnesen to Chelsea continued to do a superb job before it all fell apart. Ramos was supposed to be the perfect coach for such a system, proving just how delicate and risky it is to implement. Highly rated, few doubted his abilities but we all doubted his lack of English speaking skills. More so the lack of apparent enthusiasm the players had for his tactics and match preparations. My main scratch of head here has been the fact that most successful managerial appointments do not work with someone looking down from above, packing as much punch as the man that selects the team. Ramos was the catalyst for the DoF system imploding at Spurs, never truly proving to be a genuine success. Even when Jol was leading us to top five finishes, the cracks still appeared and Comolli got itchy fingers (along with one or two others that sadly got ahead of themselves with our 'progress'). The only success was that some of the signings proved to be very good ones. But no different to any other prolonged period of time concerning players signed.

Levy scrapped it. Enter the wheeler dealer and the rest is very recent history.

Would most of the managers we've been linked with so far be comfortable working under a DoF or would they expect the chairman to trust their own judgement? Is it not more prudent to allow someone with ambitions that match the clubs to perhaps ask for changes to be made in scouting or youth development or for the club to offer this support to aid the new man at the helm?

I've always believed that a DoF can work as an administrator taking some of the more mundane responsibilities away from the manager. Mundane underplays it, what I mean is - if the manager wants to sign a striker he tells the 'DoF' what he requires and the DoF returns with the short list. Apparently, it's what Comolli did. But then Comolli did a lot more than that what with his dizzying offers to others. Technically speaking, he did what a DoF (dictionary describition) is meant to do, but that doesn't necessary make it the right thing to do at Spurs and in the English Premier League.

Also, the major bugbear I have with all of this concerns the fact that you could argue Daniel Levy is so hands on with transfers and building relationships with other clubs (i.e. Real Madrid and Internacional, two very different relationships) that in many ways he is a director of football. Or an acting General Manager at the very least. The assumptions made and usually confirmed by Redknapp via Sky Sports was that they would both 'discuss' potential targets. Levy famously telling Harry about van der Vaart's availability is one example. Another concerns the story that Pienaar was signed by the chairman and not wanted by the manager. Parker, another well documented disagreement between the two of them.

Their relationship degraded, we know that much. They didn't always see eye to eye to players. Whether it's true that Levy wanted to spend big but Redknapp only wanted the bargains and the cheap for the moment signings rather than players that can impact Spurs season positively over the next few years, that's something we won't quite know for sure (until the next man is appointed). Levy and Redknapp were not on the same page.

The chairman will always do the chasing but you could clearly tell which targets being linked to Spurs were Levy targets and which belonged to Harry. The conflict here is; if you trust the manager you back him you don't try to influence him into another direction because if you find yourself doing so then perhaps he's not the right man for the job you want him to do.

There is no need for a DoF at Spurs.

For a start, if you believe what you read in the press, we've gone after potential managers. We'd have to appoint a DoF first before we started interviewing anyone. There is no need for one I'm certain of it, but there is a necessity that Levy's vision is shared with the prospective manager and they both understand how best to improve and evolve Spurs together. A collaboration not based on job titles but one based on a clear understanding of the task ahead and how to achieve it (or die trying). The same page please.

I'd like to hope the plan is long term with the aim to sustain a challenge in the short term. I'd explain that hope with us signing the players we need to build on the side we have and avoid stagnation. No job in football is particularly easy but a job where the two most important people at the club fail to agree will be made impossible. Such a basic and obvious statement, and yet one that failed us not too long ago.

The director of system works on the continent because the culture is completely different there. Real Madrid is an example of a club signing players before appointing managers. But even they have gone through internal hardship with Jose Mourinho fighting for 'complete control'. I personally don't see the point in comparing football with any U.S. sport in terms of the DoF system. Mainly because their culture and structures are different to our own.

If you want to lighten the load on the manager that has to handle training, day to day business, match day preparation and transfer targets, assign him Tim Sherwood. Or define the role to be a more concrete long term position in the club to cater for youth development, say a technical director (as the suggested rumours). Not quite as interfering as a director of football. You'd think Sherwood must be doing something to impress behind the scenes. In fact, let the new manager ask the chairman for the personnel he requires to be able to comfortably do his job. Let the new man at the helm set up his boot room of soldiers so he can lead us into the battle as one unit with no politics holding us back from marching forwards. No Brutus for our Caesar. We do not need to complicate things and I doubt very much we will. So if Sherwood does end up with a position it will probably be one that will also benefit Levy, allowing him to concentrate on the stadium and other matters (like ENIC selling Spurs.../trollface).

As for the other slightly more important appointment we are all waiting on, I'm not going to guarantee we all agree on the man Levy does end up appointing. Just hope we can agree to back him.

Until Christmas at the very least.

If you're interested in more on this discussion including comparisons between the DoF system in the NFL, visit this thread for heated debate.

The Book of Daniel - Chapter Two

by Ryan the Perplexed

Yea, and Ari the Blameless was cast out into the wilderness by Daniel, amidst much crying, wailing and confusion amongst the Hacks. And the Hacks took all their gold, columns and tweets and melted them down to cast an idol of Ari who they revered as a God and who had bestowed twitches and quotes to them from the days of old. And the name of the place where the idol was erected and to where Ari was banished was called Sandbanks, because it was felt that Daniel's case gainst Ari was built upon banks of sand. This displeased Daniel greatly but he was humble and knew his tongue was quiet, his bald head shone like a jewel in the sun, and that PR was something that happened to other people.

And the Tottenhamites were in turmoil, every man against his brother and every father against son in their views over whether Daniel had done the right thing. The camp was split and feared Daniel and what he would do next.

Chaos reigned.  Who was ITK? Who was not ITK?

Many of the wise elders of the camp were  bemused by Daniel's actions, saying that stability was required and though Ari had faults, his PPG record was excellent and unless the new prophet was holier, this was a reckless move. They claimed that Daniel did not provide Ari with enough shekels and he had to work miracles amongst the old, the sick, the lame and the other January transfer window signings.

Yet the younger Tottenhamites were noisy in number and  believed Daniel had done right in their eyes, for they hated Ari and the dung that spewed forth from his mouth by day and by night. They looked upon Daniel favourably and saw he could do no wrong. They did not care for a new Temple for which Daniel had toiled to no avail. They thought the squad was worthy already. They forgot Daniels sins with Santini and Ramos and Pleat. They did not recall selling Berba for Frazier. They did not remember Rasiak. Or Bentley. Or Bunjevcevic.

And so Daniel hid in a cave and considered his options. After eating 10 rubbery smoked salmon bagels from the West Stand, Daniel fell  into a deep sleep and dreamed a dream.

He had a vision of White Hart Lane glowing and throbbing. Across the battlefield gleaming metal was held aloft, the Tottenhamites had the Rapture and rejoiced in victory. Strewn across the battlefield the shattered remnants of the Goonite hordes, broken and no more. In the dugout Wenger the Blind was destroying vessels of water beyond measure and wailed. The Goonite smugness smashed forever. The Rapture grew, the Angels of '61 sang and in the Spurs dugout was a Portuguese, who had won with Porto and managed the Chelsea Despicables. The Portuguese smiled, realising that after all his travels he had now found a home, a dynasty and a calling. He looked up at Daniel in the Director's Box and waved. The Tottenhamites took this as a sign, purchased and donned official apparel from the club shop and prostrated themselves in front of Daniel, their King crowned at last.

Daniel was ecstatic and woke knowing what he had to do.

And so after many warnings, signs and wonders, such as the unholy luck of the Despicables, the Lord spoke to Daniel.

'Daniel, did you see the vision I gave you? A way for you to be loved by your people. A way forward after the days of Ari? The Man from Porto is the One'

And Daniel replied 'Yes O Lord. I have secured the man. He was surprisingly willing and ready to come, and for a very reasonable salary and bonus plan. Andreas is just packing his male grooming kit and will be here soon.

And the Lord shook his head and Heaven groaned. 'Daniel. I meant Mourinho. My child, your people look to you for I have set you as their Leader. But you need to learn from your mistakes. Andreas was a disaster for the Despicables. He even upset their evil men, which takes some doing. He talked and talked about his Project, he is of few years, he did much worse than Ari who had less shekels and no luck. He even lost to Aston Villa. At home.'

The Lord continued 'So you've got Andreas. It could have been worse like Martinez. What else has happened? What have you done following my clear warnings and lessons? I assume Kevin the Bondsman has gone and River Jordan crossed?'

'Yes' replied Daniel. 'I have cleansed the Lane of all of Ari's disciples, even Clive the Oneseasonwonder, though his love for the Club was pure.'

'So it is' said the Lord. 'And I hope you got rid of Tim Deadwood too. And no return to the DOF system. It has never worked in the PL. You were closest to glory and honour without a DOF confusing, meddling and stopping the manager doing his job and giving you somewhere to hide from your people. Why are you scared and what are you scared of? You should assemble the people, speak to the Tottenhamites and show them the way to redemption. You may try to hide, Daniel, but I am the Lord. I can find you easily.  I just have to turn up to the AGM. I hope that you have learned these lessons now Daniel, as you try to lead the Tottenhamites to the Promised Land with your 7th prophet in eleven years?'

But Daniel was silent and gulped uneasily. He looked at his calendar. It was two months and eleven days until his own personal transfer window opened at 11.50pm on 31 August and lasted for just 10 minutes.

Plenty of time to sit and wait...

Read Chapter One here.

If Carlsberg did transfer windows...

...Tottenham would be barred.

Yesterday Jan Vertonghen was supposedly confirmed as confirmed can be without an official word and practically done and dusted according to Dutch sources. Today? Well today is a different day which means a new set of rules contradicting everything that came before it. The Dutch sources with us much spurt as an empty Ketchup bottle.

Here is the latest information to be shared in the wastelands of Twitter (via @BelgoFoot).

Possibility that will not join #thfc in the summer (sic). Disagreement between player and Ajax. (Voetbalprimeur.be)

Vertonghen says he was promised percentage of fee but Ajax seemingly don't want to pay. Report says his salary was lower than many players.

If he does not move in summer, Vertonghen says he will be happy to join #thfc in a year's time, out of contract.

His argument is with Ajax so won't sign without OK from them. (apparently)

Probably means he's at the Lodge passing his medical as we speak. Well no, he isn't. But at least that's where he would like to be. He wants to join. That's one positive from this messy saga we can embrace and hold onto with dear life. It's extraordinary how with each passing transfer window, everyone seems to be privy to information on prospective transfers but nobody actually knows what is going on.

As for the more important managerial appointment, the continued rumour is that AVB can't sign until July 1st when his contractual obligation with Chelsea supposedly ends.

Nothing is confirmed until said player is holding up the Lilywhite shirt and smiling. Nothing is confirmed until the club call a press conference to reveal the new man at the helm.

Until then, our misery continues.