There is still hope

I reckon I've got it sussed out.

All we need to do is sacrifice fifteen virgins (one for each remaining point) in the centre-circle at White Hart Lane and then take five voodoo dolls representing each club we have left to play and hang'em upside with pins inserted.

Whilst the sacrifice takes place (for reasons relating to legality we can't actually sacrifice people so I've spoken to a friend who knows someone who knows someone who can put me in touch with a farmer and for a nominal fee covering insurance purposes we can borrow fifteen lambs although we have to return the meat post-ritual or we'll lose the deposit)...Okay, so whilst the sacrifice takes place on the pitch we need to then set fire to the voodoo dolls and pray to Mait' Carrefour, the Haitian god of magicians and lord of the crossroads, promising him the souls of the sacrificed virgins (he won't know the difference, the souls are unlikely to bleat after they transcend) in return for Champions League next season. We also need to bury Chirpy in a shallow grave. Nothing to do with the ritual at all. Just, you know, might as well kill two birds with one stone.

I reckon that just about covers it and it's as full-proof as anything can possibly be. Got it all planned out on my clipboard.

No need to waste time on how to line-up our forwards best. How to get them to play with passion and desire starting off with the fundamentals like moving around the pitch a bit and controlling the ball. How best to structure our midfield for assured balance. Where to slot in Lennon for maximum impact. How to retain the required level of tenacity in games against lower-placed clubs as displayed against the bigger sides. How to get the message across that even if the opposition hasn't lost for a fair while, we should be storming it at home in a flurry of fantastics rather than once more failing with frustration.

Also no point in dwelling on the harsh reality of irony whereby said failure is shared by all involved, including the players that might want to transfer their way out in the summer due to the club not being involved in a competition because the same players failed to take us back there. Or is it the managers fault? Or is it mine for thinking we'd get on fine and that we were not over-extending? Regardless, where's the killer instinct? That has to be question that hides behind another disappointment.

You want killer instinct? You want it? If you want it, you do it yourself. You get on the phone to a farmer and you order some baby sheep.

Cheer yourself up, buy a t-shirt then sell it as a collectors item to a Man Utd fan in the summer

Fourth spot. It's still on.

We simply need to win every single game remaining and City need to slip up the once in addition to playing us.

Believe.

We got written off every single game leading up to Eastlands last time out. Nothing is impossible until it's impossible and it's not impossible. Not yet. When it finally is I'll applaud the team for a quite stupendous season, one with regretful blips that have cost us in the long run. But that's for another me in another universe, one where we finish outside the top four filled with melancholical madness, whilst an emo Spooky sits in front of his webcam reading out poetry and despairing with endless dejection.

Screw that universe.

Now excuse me. Got me some shearing to do.

Just remember what I've done for you next time you tuck into your lamb chop and potatoes.

Yet another Spurs versus Arsenal El Clásico

Well that was rather special, wasn’t it?

Is there a more enthralling, pulsating fixture in the domestic calendar than the North London Derby? Dramatic twists and turns, excellent attacking football, quality finishing all glued together with blood and thunder desire. Once again we bounced back. Once again they lost their grip on the game. You could hardly look away, other than perhaps for a brief second to momentarily ease the beats of your brutalised heart. Mentality and physically exhausting, the dvd will surely include a parental warning on its sleeve.

Okay so whether you’re white or red you’ll agree a draw was hardly the best result in terms of accumulating the points to achieve the goal each club aspires to in the run-in. Arsenal are hardly out of the challenge for the title, mathematically speaking. And regardless of the stalemate, beating Manchester City away remains the end-game task we have ahead of us, as long as we don’t drop points to our determent in comparison to City and their remaining fixtures.

Could we have won it? Sure. Had perhaps Modric made it four with his foot rather than seeing the ball hit his shin and saved. Sandro's effort too had it been perhaps an inch to the right of Szczesny might have found its way in. The Arsenal keeper coming to their rescue again with saves from Crouch and van der Vaart in what was a far better second half of football for us than the first.

They could argue the same thing though. They could have won it too.

Hindsight would probably have seen me select Sandro from the start to stop Arsenal from over-running us in midfield as he would have been far more comfortable with breaking up play and generally being a nuisance and menace. To have had him playing the simple ball, recycling possession effectively and without fuss might have balanced things out in our favour and frustrated the opposition. But then it’s from a place of comfort after the event to perhaps look back and be critical of selection. And to play devil’s advocate, Sandro was guilty of one sleepy pass that might have proved costly. But hey, we’re all human.

I was more content with the line-up. van der Vaart, Pavlyuchenko and Crouch in the same team gave us a foil and a more dynamic dimension when pushing forwards rather than perhaps having the one striker ahead of the Dutchman. Perhaps working better on paper than in practice, with the Russian on the outside looking in for most of the game. Across the full ninety perhaps Pav didn’t have the impact you’d have wished for but he worked hard. Crouch hassled and vdV buzzed. Modric was anything but lightweight (but was pushed once or twice to the floor joining Bale down there) as he did his very best to take the stranglehold back off the impressive Fabregas in an attempt to control tempo in our favour.

It didn’t actually start to pull in our direction until after that stunning first forty-five.

The very definition of a ding-dong derby. 0-1 in five minutes, 1-1 after seven, 1-2 after twelve, 1-3 after forty and then 2-3 at the forty-four minute mark. And breath.

Not taking anything away from Arsenal who scored three goals that were deserving for their effort, but once more, there are post-mortems for each one that are labelled ‘should have done better’. Hand on heart, they caused us a multitude of problems but punches were thrown in-between the goal-scoring with both sides having telling efforts.

As for those post-mortems.

0-1

Henry-lite runs onto a brilliant pass from the annoyingly good Fabregas and passes the ball into the net. We lost the ball cheaply in midfield (Huddlestone) and were duly punished for it with a combination of mistakes that played out to aid Arsenal. Gallas rushing out initially leaving a gap that then saw Dawson play the offside and BAE caught playing Walcott onside. There’s a certain level of composure and concentration that is required at all times otherwise counters like this can leave you looking up to the heavens for a pray. Hardly the definition of defensive unity. Delightful celebration by Theo.

1-1

Two minutes later and its game on. Corluka with the ball into the path of van der Vaart who majestically found the back of the net at Szczeny’s near post, on his weaker foot too. The celebration cancelling out the earlier one. Arsenal perhaps if they wish to be harsh on their keeper can point to that near post and suggest a shot should not be sneaking in from there. Did I mention the celebration? I did? I'll mention it again. Sssh.

1-2

Should Dawson have stood up (get up, stand up...) rather than attempt to block a shot that might not have been released had he got tighter or am I distracting attention away from the quality of the shot from Nasri which took a slight deflection off Michael as it flew past Gomes? Good finish, but it felt like it should have been defended better. We just sat back and watched Nasir buzz about outside the box. Will not be too critical of Gomes here, I know some of you are. I guess philosophically, if a player has a crack from that sort of distance you have to give him his due if he finds the net.

1-3

At this point you’ll have probably given up. Had you perhaps been watching any other game other than the NLD. Gallas at fault I hate to say it. Far too casual. Chesting the ball down into the path of Walcott who dinked the ball wonderfully back into the path of Robin van Persie who had a couple of attempts to make it three. The first (a header) superbly saved, but alas, the second emphatically finished as the ball came back to van Persie. I guess some of you would have wanted Gomes to catch it with one hand, ala Jennings?

2-3

Just before the break we're back in it. There was a time in the past when we would concede a goal before half-time and find ourselves on the back-foot in the second forty-five, but this was not only a life-line but perhaps the most telling moment that probably invited doubt into the minds of our mentally fragile neighbours. With Bale off for treatment (thanks to two collisions with the winking Szczensy) Fabregas failed to clear convincingly and the ball was erotically struck by Huddlestone, hitting the ground and going through the jump of van der Vaart and past the keeper who hardly moved, apart from perhaps blinking.

There was still time for a penalty shout. Frantic stuff. Not given, could have been. We've seen less go for us and against us in the past. But then the footballing Gods didn’t want to spoil us too much, preferring to retain some drama for when the players returned to the pitch.

Half-time. And two changes. Bale (cluttered once too often) and Corluka off. Kaboul and Lennon on.

Physicality notched up a level, yellow cards dished out  to the visitors with some blood spilt (Wenger did predict that) and even some time for the introduction of Wilshere to be told to shut up by vdV, which will probably give him something to tweet about post-game. Nutmeg anyone?

If we survived during the first 45 we gradually took hold of the second, although it was still littered with remainders that for every couple of chances we crafted out, they could have done better with theirs. Offside goal disallowed that might not have been offside (did Gomes play to the whistle? I think he did and half gave up when he heard it). Walcott also making the wrong decision with a cross-shot shot that didn't hit the target or find one of his team-mates.

Far more confident possession and intent from us. Proactive rather than reactive, with Arsenal on the back-foot more often than not but still dangerous. Next goal ‘wins’ it then.

If Modric made us tick, and van der Vaart was outstanding leading us forwards there was BAE, as cool and calm as you like, he might as well have been on the beach in Brazil than at White Hart Lane in the midst of a NLD. Open invitation for Alan Hansen to review past comments. Absolutely on the money from the pimp master. Distribution was solid and classy and sexy and when others lost their cool around him he made sure he was ever reliable at key moments. The ball for Lennon deserving of a goal. Instead we got a penalty out of it. Still ended up with a goal. Szczesny committing himself with little option other than to take down Aaron. Cool as you like, van der Vaart from the spot for his brace. Hero.

3-3.

Wenger animated on the bench (did I see a moment of monty python at one point?). Harry believing we’d probably get another. Oh for the love of all things wonderful on God’s green earth, it could have been four. Modric failing to connect cleanly. Then followed some neat saves from Gomes (not to be left bored at the other end) and those Crouch and Sandro efforts teasing all that watched, but a winner wasn’t to be for either side.

Stalemate, but hardly stale. 3-3 at the final whistle. And to think there were one or two people at home tuned in to watch Real Madrid v Barcelona.

What does it mean for us? Not much, nothing has really changed. We still have plenty of games left to take back fourth spot but each one of them has to be played like it’s do or die. No complacency. No more mistakes. And perhaps some bravery from Harry in selection too. We have to consider that we might end up drawing at Chelsea and at Eastlands which means its the results in the other fixtures that will seal our fate. Forget about the points dropped, we have no other choice but to look forwards and to continue to believe we can make it.

We’ve come a long way. We’re no longer push-overs, we can take a punch and we can land a hay-maker of our own. But much like Arsenal we have gaps that need to be filled. We have the mental strength and the tenacity these days. Just need one or two additions and perhaps more of the shrewd from the gaffer.

One thing is for certain, we’re not the Tottenham of old, the team that rolled over like a cute puppy to be sat on by the bigger badder dog who hardly took notice if the little one. Guess the puppy grew up and took a massive bite out of its aggressor.

Arsenal must not be our benchmark (beating Man Utd remains the bane) but it’s a pretty nifty way of measuring our standard of competitiveness. The fact we've beaten them twice in the league recently and probably feel a little disappointed we didn't nick it last night places us pound-for-pound on the night, on equal pegging. Be it a few points off in the Prem to class it as a head-to-head.

We need to fill those gaps before they do.

We no longer fear. Other than dithering in the transfer window.

Tighten it up Tottenham. We're disappointed we didn't win. They're happy with the point. A sign of the times. Not to ruin the spectacle, but that's the crux of it. Even though I was happy with the line-up, it wasn't the perfect selection (hindsight) and finding ourselves three one down is hardly the best way to compete in a game we should have looked to win. But perhaps that's a touch too negative and harsh. Mistakes found us in that position, hardly errors of selection. Perhaps it is a benchmark after-all. When we find ourselves 3-1 up to the good against them, then it will truly be a sign that we've stepped it up once more.

Until then we need to improve our record against lower placed sides. We hardly ever lose at home in the league, and those dropped points remain the difference between sitting in 5^th and potentially being 3^rd or 2^nd as top tier clashes evidently can cancel each others hopes out.

Cracker of a game and another classic to add to the rest of them. London owns it again.

The North London Derby - presented in Technicolor

Ninety minutes. One interval. A couple of award winners in amongst the supporting cast.

Key strengths and weaknesses of the story arc?

Easy on the eye attacking bum off seats football. Lack of clinicality up front, sometimes because of the lack of chances created however mostly because there's too much of the tippy tappy and not enough of the smacking into the net ruthlessness. Dodgy keeper too. Defence can sometimes find itself all at sea, prone to lapses of concentration, what with key players usually missing from the back four. Midfield is tasty. Although if you listen to some, elements of it are over-rated. Choke? Yes. On occasions can throw it all the way.

One thing is for certain, the gaffer is much maligned. Splitting fans either side of the fence, even with moderate on the field success if not of the sustained silverware variant. The type that matters to most.

So in conclusion, deficiencies in amongst the quality. It's obvious what's wrong but patience is a commodity with a supply and demand problem with many despondent that fundamental errors occur without correction, always drowned out by familiar sound-bites. Nutty.

I'm obviously talking about Arsenal here. Actually no it's Tottenham, I've just described Spurs.

I think.

Is it?

We don't choke any more, what with them appearing to have taken that indignity off our hands. Then again, we have choked a couple of times this season with some notably under-performing, home and away, dropping valuable points. We're hardly tippy tappy, more swagger and swashbuckle. When we're not hoofing it up for the knock-down.

Arguably where it matters most, both sides are masters of making it an art form in how to almost score a goal at pivotal moments.

We only have the one dodgy keeper not a collection of them like they do. That's probably open for debate what with our second keeper being as erratic as our first choice and having never seen our third I dare not comment.

The good, the bad and the ugly amply shared between the two divided parts of north London.

The only discussion point beyond argument is colour. We play in white, they play in red.

United in our hatred for each other. Binding us like brothers (I guess from different mothers) fighting endlessly over a piece of land that both seek to claim as their own. The story is rich in history. Always entertaining, always captivating. Never boring.

And if we - Tottenham and Arsenal - decide to turn up this evening and bring us some ding-dong blood and thunder tenacity and desire we might just be in for a treat.

Both teams on the brink. Arsenal dreaming of mathematical possibilities having remained anchored all season long when countless times others cited a sunken ship. Spurs once more reaching out to claim back something made theirs last time out by sheer determination and unity that they once more hope to discover, even with a fixture list uncanny in it's form. A throw-back to the aforementioned last time.

Down to the wire, it's all in the game.

So what of it then? Whether you are white or red. What does your heart sing? What does your head quickly whisper?

I will be bitterly disappointed if we don't take the game to our visiting neighbours. Really want us to embrace the 'best team wins' mantra. In fact I want to see both sides go for each others jugular, with Jurassic drive and juggernaut effort.

We're at home. And we have to win. So says me, so says any of you lot in red too.

Last time out at the Emirates, we did some of that grand olde choking, freezing up in the first forty-five to find ourselves focused and spirited in the second half and thus pass the baton of bereavement over to our arch rivals who held it firmly to their bosom then proceeded to do some choking of their own.

Last time out at the Lane, it was win or die for their title hopes and plausibly win or die for our Champions League dream. For all their possession play they lacked any type of forceful damaging punch. In fact, we happily took their body blows before dishing out a couple of haymakers to knock'em flat out. A wonderful exercise in containment and counter aided by a sensational schoolboys own stuff strike and some heart-stopping keeping with a dab of luck-riding making a cameo for good measure.

Rather than be reactive to the occasion, I'm asking for Tottenham to be proactive this time round.

Pick up the pen and write the script from the start, rather than taking the responsibility of completing it after the initial author has become disillusioned with writers block and can't think of a definitive ending. Although you and I (being the ones who frequent N17 every other week) wouldn't complain much if that happened again. Considering we are rather good at satisfying all but a select group with a traditional satisfactory 'where on earth did that just come from?' twist, leaving us dizzy and giddy.

Box office smash please. Make me throw my popcorn up in the air and cough up my Coca-Cola. I want to see men in Lilywhite man-hugging and gesturing ecstatically to the camera as the credits roll, with the men in red despondent and dejected.

Two NLD league wins in one season? I'll take the drama not the fantasy.

Thoughts will then turn to the second and third parts of the trilogy. One filmed on location at Stamford Bridge. The other on location in Eastlands. May we be the ones taking the plaudits, the critical acclaim and another ceremonious bow and ice bucket at the finale.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves just yet. Let's wait and see how encouraging the write-ups are for the first part.

The North London Derby. Might contain scenes of an adult nature.

I wouldn't even complain if it went straight to DVD.

The fling is over, now for the rebound

I was sat in a pub in Gatley, Manchester watching the second leg of our quarter final against Real Madrid. Every ten minutes, I quietly whispered to my Mancunian mate, "If we score a goal in the next five minutes, we might just have enough time to make a comeback". I repeated this line up until the 91st minute before finally surrendering any possible hope of over-turning the mighty four nil first leg deficit. I wasn't drunk. Hardly drunk. I wouldn't even call it optimism or delusion. Just whimsical dreaming.

I sighed and applauded. It all ended anti-climatically in the end, the strength of the visitors (and the lack of lady luck) meaning there was no full blooded highly implausible and improbably attempt of a comeback that perhaps a single early goal would have given us. Instead a single howler of a goal for the visitors finally laid to rest one of the most enthralling début seasons the Champions League has ever seen. And as much as I'd have loved to see us up against those possession pests from Barcelona, it's not to be. Not this season.

Perhaps in the not so distant future we'll have grown in maturity further and improved our quality in certain positions to once more do battle with the very best Europe has to offer. Two games, five goals conceded but arguably only one great goal scored against us - the rest, poorly defended or errors. That's not bad going considering what happened in the Bernabeu and the fact that we lived with them in the return and applied plenty of effort with that telling cutting edge. We might have still been outclassed over the two sets of 90 minutes even if Crouch had not been sent off. We'll never know. And that's where the frustration festers. Madrid are hardly a shabby outfit themselves. Credit to them and Tottenham's future manager.

What?

It's been a grand old adventure. But it's been so much more than that. We've proved we can compete at the top. Not quite with the very best but we still reached the quarter-finals when all believed we'd only manage to finish third in our group. That deserves a smile or two. Along with the good this campaign has done for our stature and name. The impact of Gareth Bale. The memories of being 3-0 down in the qualifiers, the San Siro, the 3-1 Inter win, the San Siro again. The goals scored 'for' during the group stages. The entertainment and refreshing attacking mindset of Harry and the players. It's been wonderful. Memories of standing in the away end at Upton Park in 2006, banished forever.

We've lived the dream, lost our cherry. But I don't want another adventure. I want sustained participation, at the very least, every other year if not every year. In fact I don't want it refereed to as an adventure again. Adventures are a once in a life-time occurrence in some far off fantasy world. We got into the CL because we deserved it and we got as far as we did because we deserved it. And the fact we even entertained the possibility of making it to the semi-finals (perhaps had we faced Chelsea) doesn't just speak to me, it sings.

Seasonal battles on the continent with this team continuing its progression forwards, building on the foundations we've set as a club these past two season that wants to be successful and wants to aim even higher. The culture of comfort is dead. It lived long enough. Too long. Onwards with the next chapter.

Long live the desire to dare and to do. And come on you Spurs.

Seven games left, three points 'adrift'

Spurs 3 Stoke 2

That wasn’t too shabby, was it? Finally rediscovering a little bit of that confident Spurs swashbuckle and swagger. Refreshing. Probably go as far as saying that minus the defensive lapses of concentration, it was an assured 'dominant' first half. Sure, we didn’t steam-roll them or stamp down our authority with brutality. We let them back in a couple of times (dominant with flaws). But we did turn up, turn it on and turn them over in good olde (the proper good) Tottenham fashion. Effortless in some ways, as a unit and individually, just easing into a rhythm without those pesky complications that had previously seen us in the midst of a goal drought.

Movement, busy buzzy players and an urgency to attack. I liked it.

Okay, so the lapses were wholly unnecessary (be it two good Stoke goals – but both birthed in errors from possession we lost). But even that was still a good test of our resolve. Didn’t buckle. Probably let them have too much of the ball in the second half, but overall – exactly what was required was achieved.

Goals for. A win. Three points.

Huddlestone and Kaboul back in the side, van der Vaart playing a full ninety minutes (and working hard be it without glamour) and Peter Crouch with some redemption for his red mist in Madrid with two smart goals and a tongue in cheek **** off to the crowd, caught on camera, but alas it’s not quite a Wayne Rooney incident offering out the public.

Not the same thing is it? Although the camera has nothing to do with it, what with Wazza being charged for swearing with no mention of said camera. Perhaps Peter was too far away from the camera and wasn't directing it at the camera. Then again, as mentioned, the camera has nothing to do with the charge against Rooney. Even though Rooney had his face in it. I guess the FA don’t really grasp the concept of consistency and knee-jerk to the parasitic lust of the media and this country and its culture of hate. Even though Rooney is angry and dislikeable. If he got charged for swearing then surely every game would result in...hold up a second.

Pause.

Okay, so, I won’t get side tracked and go off on a tangent. Back on topic then...

Home support reaction to Crouchie, overwhelmingly heartfelt. I guess blog comment and message board disdain does not translate too good out in the real world. Although Corluka was forced to respond to one fan, calling him an idiot for complaining rather than being supportive of the team. Alan Hutton obviously with too much time on his hands at the minute.

Special mention to another maligned forward (do we have anything else at Spurs?) Roman Pavlyuchenko. Linked up superbly well with the midfield leading the front-line and assisting twice. His disallowed goal should have stood. Looks sharp. Hopefully he can bag one on Wednesday.

Luka was again full of silks and style. Really, no nomination for PFA player of the year? Scandalous. Perhaps it’s because of his tally of two league goals that he’s been overlooked. I don’t know. Don’t actually care too much as long as he continues to drive us in the right direction. Up. By a minimum of one spot. Excellent goal and looks even more comfortable and free to roam with big Tommy by his side. Having Hudd back for the run in might just prove to be imperative to our chances of unlocking one or two of the tougher teams we’ve got to face in our attempt for a second successive CL.

A sumptuous passer of the ball is big Tom. The manner in which he caresses it...Mmmmm. Playing a disguised pass is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You undress the space ahead of you, proceed to move hips hypnotically and then push forwards with sublime penetration releasing it as quickly as you can blink. Oh yes. Just like making love.

Bale, quiet by the standard we expect him to play at, but then when you’re doubled up on all the time it’s not going to be an over-night transition to work out how best to escape the unwanted attention. Patient, learning curve...don’t care about all the ‘he doesn’t do it in the Prem, does it’ sound-bites. He played well considering (ignoring mistake) and having players chase him means there’s always room for other players to run into open space because of it.

Regarding that mistake (that led to Jones cracking goal), Kaboul partly responsible for the initial pass to Bale. But how great is it to have the big lad back? Power at the back to go alongside cool. BAE and Corluka also played well. Dawson commanding and Gomes hardly at fault for the two conceded.

Credit to Harry? Or did he just wing it again?

Overall – happy days. Good solid performance, dealt with the pockets of pressure. Probably should have got a fourth. Didn't, but held on even with the quintessential 'final 10 minutes' of hearts in mouths.

Unfortunately we are at that stage where we do have to look at others to do us favours. Hopefully Liverpool can do just that against City.

It's fair to say, we've got a monumental task ahead of us if you dare to look at the fixture list.

Seven games left, three points adrift. Mathmatically, it's not exactly end of days just yet. So I suggest you superglue your hat on.

Is this another one of those 'must win' games?

All games are must win. Although our lot appear to have forgotten how to go about winning. For starters, we're not going to pick up three points unless we score.

This match preview wont be winning any awards, I'm completely snowed under today and for all the analytical, tactical and selectional discussions that can be had - well, they've all been had already. Countless times throughout the course of the season in fact, as we await for our team to swagger and find it's elusive groove. Handful of games left now. Leaving it a tad late. Again.

We've kept in touch. Everyone's kept in touch at the top, writing polite letters of apology to each other with nobody wanting to use the pen for a Dear John and cut them off completley and run away leaving them dejected and alone. But we're at that point now where all relationships are strained and rather than pretend it's all just dandy, rather than perhaps behind closed doors wipe tears away and shake heads - this is the point where we either stand up or just shut up. Once and for all.

So Spurs, Harry and the players. Get a grip of yourselves and breath life back into this comatose motionless body. I want to see some booty shaking.

We want our Tottenham back. For 90 minutes. So don't be shy. Show us what you're made of. Otherwise, night night. And go back to dreaming.

Regrets

0-1 Wigan (h)
1-1 WBA (a)
1-0 West Ham (a)
1-1 Birmingham (a)
1-1 Newcastle (a)
3-1 Blackpool (a)
3-3 Wolves (a)
0-0 West Ham (h)
0-0 Wigan (a)

9 games, 4 points. Not the best return against clubs we should be punishing. I say should, but you'll be quick to point out in the past we've hardly had the best record against the lower placed teams. But in the present, we've got more than enough quality to compete and beat. Right? Or not quite?

Dropped the ball on this again, haven't we?

Recent form; L, D, D, D

No goals scored in last 3 games (all comps).
No goals conceded in last 3 games (all comps) - possibly the only positive out of this run.

Would be way too easy to cite the Jan transfer window and the need for a world class forward. Would be even easier for some of you to cite me who decided to take pro-positivity by the scruff of the neck and then embrace with much love as I looked to forget about the chairman's mishap early year and instead look forward, literally, to our forwards and place faith in them getting the job done. Like last season.

Asked for too much, didn't I?

Not that it's completely their fault. We've not done ourselves any favours or any justice by virtue of under-performing when its come to application. As a team. The manager, as much as you can praise him for everything (especially in the continental adventure) has possibly made the wrong decision once or twice with league selections.

The issue at hand therefore far more relative to the way the season has shaped up coming into the run-in with us still involved in the Champions League. The fabled one game at a time mentality is AWOL. Everyone far more focused with a dream. Our players, more Tottenham it would seem than the majority of pragmatic supporters.

Is it our players that lack the focus with one eye on the next game? Always on that next game? Is Harry placing all eggs in one basket? Personal agenda at hand? Too soon for England, surely?

Are we perhaps asking for too much? Are we still 2/3 players away from sustaining a top 4 place? Or is that an excuse to mask the fact we need to be a tad more shrewd. The bastard DNA missing from the Tottenham template. Missing or rather yet to be genetically added.

One thing is for certain - this is the season that simply doesn't know when to start giving. Everybody in the top five can reference what's gone wrong with their consistency this term - all can put forward a valid case that they could have performed far better than they have. More points for all, in various potentialities.

So, in that scenario, we might still have found ourselves where we currently stand. But the reality is, what you see is what you get. And what we've got are far too many regretful performances. Across  team and management. Perhaps the learning curve here is too great for the gaffer and the players. It's not angry fisted criticism this. Just a knowing look and shrug that we could have been far more comfortable.

As always, that's not quite how we do things in N17.

We are five points adrift now. It's not impossible to make up. But even I, someone who has banged the drums of drama all season long chanting 'top 4, top 4' at the top of my voice know that this is truly
backs to wall territory for us now. My throat has gone hoarse. I'm long in the face.

But I haven't quite given up yet.

I also believe its because of our progression in the CL that we are suffering the domestic lulls. Obvious analysis. Perhaps that's why I don't want to be too harsh but still the evidence suggests it could have all been avoided. How exactly do we struggle not to get going away to Wigan? What's that? Real Madrid on Tuesday? Understood chief.

I'm thankful we have bigger fish to fry in the run-in because we tend to turn up for the 'derby' games. Let's hope it goes to the wire. It's our only chance now.

We've dropped enough points in the past month or so to banish us to finishing outside a CL place for next season. If that happened, if...they'd have to be a call to arms and next season would be title push time. Don't scoff. Look again at the fixtures at the top of this article. The reason we're not in the top three is because of results like that. The margin, it's a river we can swim across. Hardly the ocean it was five years ago.

I don't like the table and the way it looks at the moment. I hope the players are irked by it too. I'd rather be in the CL and challenge for the title rather than not in it. Mainly because of the issue of player retainment, in this oh so impatient modern game. But as we're in the CL currently and some might argue we could have had that title shot this season too - it illustrates that it's all in the head. Belief, courage. Take a look at Manchester United. Not playing well. And on their way to their 19th. We'll find out next season if a world class forward is truly the difference of whether there's still more to be done.

As of this second, there is a lot that needs doing, and it's best focused on as this season isn't dead in the water just yet.

If we want to play with the big boys, then let's start behaving like one.

Every game should matter. Momentum. AWOL too?

There's a lot to be said for Alex Ferguson and the manner in which he instilled the never say die attitude into his teams philosophy. I don't expect us to quickly flip over 15 or so years of calamity into a catalyst for success over night. We're on the right track. We just cant afford to step off the gas because we can't control how improved other clubs around us will be next season, the season after next and so on.

Here's hoping momentum will be re-birthed on Tuesday night and we can import some of tenacity back to England and the mundane task of the Premier League.

As ever, onwards we march.

Thanks to Jack via email for the telling screengrabs of Harry.

Challenge Spurs, ended

That went well. The fixtures were meant to act as a buffer in the way of accumulation of points before the actual run-in and the massive London Derby games and City at Eastlands. Two wins from five games, eight points gained, seven points wasted. But in the midst of it all, a Champions League quarter-final place and the return of Gareth Bale along with one or two others crawling their way to full match fitness.

Talking of which, nice touch with the contract revision + one year extension. That should add an extra £15M to any potential transfer this summer.

Just saying.

It's now end-game territory and if we couldn't afford to drop points at home on Saturday, then we most definitely cannot afford to drop points in our remaining home games. Backs to wall, it's time for some of that Tottenhamesque nail biting intensity and tenacity that saw us through the mire at the back end of last season ending with a celebration on the pitch at Eastlands that irked Barry Glendenning (which is always a good thing).

Wigan, away
Stoke, home
Arsenal, home
West Brom, home
Chelsea, away
Blackpool, home
Liverpool, away
Birmingham, home

+ City, away (once it's rearranged)

Five home games. Some tricky away from the Lane. It's almost like it's 2010 all over again. The three successive N17 games imperative to our march. The triple threat of Chelsea, Liverpool and City the key ones on our travels.

I should be nervous. I'm not. I'm more than up for this and will look towards our players to equal and better my belief that we can do this again. Shame about the mishaps and hiccups. But if you want to waste time with what ifs, don't forget to include all the what ifs the other clubs around us would want to bring to the theoretical Premier table that would have five teams sitting and sharing the top slot.

One of these days we're going to get it spot on and our complaints will centre on why our full backs don't score enough goals and BAE's afro whilst we sit comfortable in a CL position season in season out. Zany.

COYS.

Spurs v West Ham match report here.

The money shot that never came

Spurs 0 West Ham 0

It would be easy to tag our attack with the label clearly stating ‘limp’ in big bold capitals. I’d rather not be that obvious. In this instance, I’d prefer to compare Spurs with a male porn star filming on set in LA (or Florida if you prefer) able to sustain wood for a prolonged period even with the countless stoppages and artistic direction. At no point faltering and no flaccid moments to bring filming to a stop. Limp? Hardly, much like Spurs, especially in terms of our effortless movement and offensive intent.

Now the analogy has to be stretched here a little.

The porn star scores several times during the duration of production. But there is only the one money shot. In Tottenham’s case, for all our hard work and poking around it’s not half as fun for us if we get to the end and there’s no shuddering climax. It would be akin to the porn star failing to deliver the most important act of his working day. It would deem everything that built up to that moment as a rather redundant and pointless exercise, for him personally. It will cause on set friction of a different kind.

On Saturday, Spurs resembled that hassled, overly eager and ultimately despairing porn star unable to fulfil and complete the work he's been paid to do. Plenty of swagger and winks to the camera. But no closure. No lingering camera shot and fade out. At White Hart Lane it felt like a session with the fluffer post lights camera action rather than on-set sweating under the lights. It lacked the required relief and that outpouring sigh of ecstasy.

Now if this was a porn movie, someone else would walk onto set and take the role of delivering said money shot, in the knowledge that expert editing in the studio later that day will make it all look seamless. Sadly there is no such cameo to facilitate into this disturbing analysis at this point of the match review. Equally so, if you’re going to ask who West Ham would be in this fantasy, I’d probably opt for Belladonna. Not particularly good looking and usually resembling a complete mess by the end of it, on this occasion frustrating the leading man and the viewers that prefer not to witness a sadistic fetish involving no penetration.

0-0. No money shot. And no satisfaction when the credits roll.

I recently said we could not afford to drop any more home points. Oops. We lost our buffer when losing to Blackpool and drawing at Wolves – meaning that when we play the likes of Chelsea and City and Arsenal (Liverpool too) – these will be must win games. If you look at the table, City are not that far ahead of us (closer thanks to their loss at Stamford Bridge). It’s not impossible, just that we’ve lost plenty of points that would have gone a long way in aiding the fight for fourth. But alas, our way remains the hardest way. As per usual.

There were plenty of positives along with one or two moments of despondent shrugs and waving of hands in disbelief. The perfect illustration of so near and yet so far. It almost resembled the template of game we experienced at the start of the campaign against City. A massive dollop of possession and some guilt edged chances along with unwanted appearances from the woodwork and in-form opposition keeper.

What went wrong this time?

We lined up with a formation that was hardly necessary considering this was at the Lane and against West Ham United (with no disrespect to the East Londoners). No need to over complicate matters with one up top when two would have worked fine. Not that we struggled to get into goal scoring positions. Even with van der Vaart deeper than Linda Lovelace*. Unless you believe that was part of the strategy to dominate the midfield.

*yes, I’ve done that joke before, but felt it relevant enough to spit out once more

For all our wonderful to look at passing and possession, shifting play from left to right, attacking the channels and playing through the middle – it was balanced out with heads turning away in disbelief. Thirty one attempted shots at goal. That’s a lot of head turning.

Defoe was unlucky today. I felt that he only needed a further forty-seven shots on goal himself before finding the net. Two things here, condolences for his very recent loss. It’s a tricky one to gauge with regards to his concentration and composure being completely in synch with the game and not disturbed (even ever so slightly) with off field matters. He had no problem wearing his ‘100’ t-shirt underneath his Lilywhite colours which will need a spin wash before the next game. I'd hazard a guess that his head was in the game. His feet however were not. I won’t dwell on this too much longer other than to say: he should have scored. The Lennon effort off the woodwork the prominent miss. His other goal-sight fluffs seemed to lack the belief of his brace at Wolves.

Modric was his usual class act self. Covers so much ground and is practically involved in everything. His passing is majestic and his movement irresistible. Scott Parker was West Ham’s bright spark, a Jermaine Jenas with a sat nav. Bale still requires another game or two before he’s back at full pelt. Let’s hope International Break does not strike him down. van der Vaart should not have played. He’s not fit and as cited, this was a game that could have done with a more traditional set-up in formation. Rafa seemed to morph into a dizzy Robbie Keane, lost in the midst of midfield with no apparent link-up play with the single forward. The mechanics here needed oiling. The engineer out to lunch.

I was happy with the rest. Gomes alert and Sandro bruising and brilliant. Although Corluka seemed to struggle with a nosebleed the further up the field he travelled which saw some dizzying mis-placed passes.

Lack of cutting ruthless edge in front of goal our bane once more. In a season where most of the top sides are struggling with their demons, it’s worth highlighting that we’re not doing that much wrong. Other than perhaps making it far more difficult for ourselves in the long term by not pulling that trigger against opposition that we should be beating. Nobody in terms of assured quality from the back to the front is taking the league by the scruff of the neck. Hopefully we don’t come off fifth best in this wacky race.

Dawson, Lennon, Defoe, Bale, couple of Modric shots – all efforts that left you scratching your head mumbling ‘one of those days’ a cliché you just knew would rear its head in the post-match interviews. Harry made some fundamental mistakes in selection. But regardless, he can hardly remote control the players once they're out on the pitch.

It was still a cracking game, for the neutral. And City fans. And even easy on the eye for us, mostly. And let’s not pretend that West Ham didn’t have a chance to steal it. That’s a West Ham team that would have gladly taken a point at the start of play. That's how they set themselves up. They held it together, rode their luck, failed to take their chances but never allowed themselves to be over-run. They retained discipline. Relegation fodder? Not on this form. We'll never know how they'd have reacted if we managed to score. Shame we didn't win, what with City losing on Sunday. A point gained then?

Let’s conclude with a positive. Our football has rediscovered it's free-flowing form and we’re looking creative again. Bad luck and bad finishing the spoiler. That’s a negative, isn’t it? I’ve actually finished on a negative. Sorry. I did try not to.

I will therefore end on the porn star analogy that began this match report. What with us failing to deliver the money shot, we could have facilitated and edited things a little by introducing a smouldering cameo Croatian from the watching flank for that final necessary jolt and essential conclusion to the story arc rather than sticking with pizza delivery boys who forgot the mayo. Sadly, the director ignored this possible saving grace and will probably need to add CGI to make amends. Don’t expect to find the DVD on any top shelf any time soon.

No more buffer

Wolves 3 Spurs 3

The whole point of Challenge Spurs and the five outlined games was to allow ourselves a buffer; extra points to go that extra mile that could cushion any potential slip-ups against more meaty opposition. Six goals shipped and one point gained from Blackpool and Wolves away pretty much removes any hope that this run-in journey will be anything other than ‘the hard way’. We are pretty much left with no other objective than to win all our remaining home games and not lose to Man City or Chelsea away. In fact I’d go as far as suggesting that we need to avoid defeat at Stamford Bridge and beat City at Eastlands (again). Seems like an age ago we battered them in the opening 45 at the Lane. Seems that to finish top 4 you don’t need to be better than one of your rivals. You just need to be less inconsistent than them when it comes to not winning when you’re expected to. Which probably makes you better by definition of points accumulated. You know what I mean, so I'll move on.

As a spectacle, the 3-3 was superb. Deano, no doubt, will have looked down from the heavens and applauded. I think we could have done with him in defence more so than Wolves.

The game felt as it played out like one of those types of ‘We’ll try to score more than you’ games. I think it illustrated that we are still growing up as a team and that we are still very much susceptible to naivety and attitude adjustment (in this case attitude being offkey).

Could we not go to both Blackpool and Wolves away and bully them? Boss the midfield, frustrate their pluckiness and generally pick ‘em off with the ilk of professionalism and maturity that tends to be saved for our European games? Can we not juggle the two, not just in selection but in how we set ourselves to compete? Or is this a harsh assessment considering none of the ‘top sides’ have won at Wolves? Although Chelsea dispatched Blackpool last night. Hence the loss of the buffer, because had we won at Blackpool – well, you do the maths. Onwards again, we always play better when our backs are up against the wall. For the moment the underdog label fits us best. It’s all pretty much clear now that we have to tighten up and not be left feeling regretful thanks to our own mismanagement of handling the opposition. Down to the wire, hold onto your hats.

Some musings on the game:

The pitch – awful. Cut up like an emo kid on you tube.

JD brace – I’d like to think I could take credit for some kind of cosmic blogosphere influence for Defoe finally exploding into life. Alas more likely to be the Jimmy Greaves goals tape Clive Allen shared with Defoe about a month ago (perhaps it was on VHS and JD only got his hands on a video this past week). Regardless, two instinctive efforts drenched in self-confidence. When you don’t think and you hit you score.

Pav’s lash – Another sweet effort. Who cares about the deflection? The power of the shot made it unstopptable. Bit surreal having the two of them (our forwards) score in the same game.

Hutton – I gave him the benefit of the doubt the other week in the lead up to the game. Mainly because if he stood at right-back then Gallas would play as CB. All he proved, once more, is that he’s not very good. Not very good at all. Clumsy, always out of position and seems to think that if he gallops forward it will look good and mask his defensive frailties. There’s a half decent player in there, somewhere. You’d probably need Leonardo DiCaprio to infiltrate Hutton’s dream state and plant an inception.

Wasteful in front of goal – We could have had it wrapped up. How many times did you think that during the match? Unlucky with the woodwork (JD) and unlucky with the angle (Bale). So close yet so far and yet still so close.

Gomes – Our mad Brazilian is all over the place at the moment. Just not in the right place. 1^st goal and 3^rd goal and the disallowed goal. It does not inspire confidence, although he’ll probably play a blinder against Milan and all will be forgiven.

Our defending – No shape or cohesion. Is this part of the failure to attitude adjust? Players thinking of Wednesday night, not focusing on the task in front of them, day dreaming about the one ahead?

Formation – Niko on the left, Modric in the middle. That would have worked, no? Luka out on the left is so two years ago. It’s wasteful. But then Harry will say the selection was necessary because of the missing players. Not sure why Niko was benched considering his recent form.

Sandro – Loving him. He’s finding his feet now after struggling initially with the pace. Give this guy two more years and he'll be a beast.

Lennon and Bale – Great to have Gareth back. Full pelt against Milan please. The role reversal between the two was apparently to aid Hutton out on the right hand side. Didn’t quite work. Could Azza have not pushed their left-back back and thus both players take their positions on their natural sides? Harry?

Chris Coleman – Bring back Andy Gray.

Conclusions –

We were second best at times and made some right royal fudge ups. We almost got away with it but yet still allowed Wolves to come at us in the final few minutes. Naive. You can’t afford to be this sloppy and expect to get away with it. It was probably a good point in the end in terms of how we performed. Utd, Chelsea and City have all lost there – so I guess in some ways it was a good point. But then again perhaps not.

We are still not out of it. I refused to accept it last season and it’s still well within our grasp. Let’s hope Corluka and Kaboul are back soon. And that Huddlestone plays a part at some point in the run-in.

Challenge Spurs round up - 7 pts from a possible 15, only 3 left to grab, potential tally: 10 pts. 5 pts potentially lost. Still, the run-in sees us play City, Chelsea and Arsenal.

Destiny sits purring on our lap.

10 things you'll probably see from Spurs this weekend

1) Wolves to bully us into submission whilst our defenders forget how to stand upright and strong, although questions to be asked post-game why Dawson and co wore roller-skates instead of studded football boots

2) Defoe to be consumed by the offside trap, who complains to head chef that JD is a little over-cooked when he specifically ordered medium rare

3) Hutton, after travelling back from Dubai in economy class, is forced to hitch-hike to Wolverhampton as club require someone to make the half time cups of tea. ITKs everyone are validated

4) Spurs to have 17 shots on goal before hitting the woodwork. Wolves to have 2 shots on goal before taking the lead

5) O'Hara, in the stands, in Wolves hat, scarf and banner singing and hurling abuse to anyone in Lilywhite and squaring up to Joe Jordan on the touchline. Jordan backs off holding in the tears

6) Evil Chirpy forced to play central midfield as Harry overlooks Sandro again. Wilson Palacios removes mask to reveal himself as the original Chirpy with a bloody fight breaking out between the two of them that results in hospitalisation and major facial surgery. With the obsession at fever pitch, original Chirpy under go's an experimental surgical procedure to temporarily graft the new Chirpy's face onto his skull in order to destroy his image and have him removed as official club mascot. Evil Chirpy awakens from his coma and forces the same doctor to give him the appearance of the original Chirpy. The battle continues...

7) Roman to take the ball down from a cross field pass with his thigh, let it roll down to his foot, loop it over defender, chest it then volley it from an impossible angle towards goal only to see it disallowed for offside (JD). Two minutes later, scoffs a shot from a yard out after it hits Defoe on the line and goes out for a goal kick

8) van der Vaart to start, get injured, be unavailable for the Milan game. Message boards to implode over the post-game rhetoric of what is/was more important - Top 4 or the quest for the Champions League quarter final. All agree to blame Harry for his lack of savvy tactical know-how juggling domestic and European selection claiming he can't hack it

9) We lose

10) Everyone looks forward to the Milan game because 'it's more important' only to then witness Ibra scoring three away goals to end the dream whilst Gareth Bale signs a pre-contract for himself and on behalf of Luka Modric with Fergie in the West Stand car park with Berbatov as the getaway driver

10 things I hope to see from Spurs this weekend

1) Not to be out fought
2) Not to be second to every second ball
3) Not to concede the first goal
4) Clinical finishing in front of goal from Roman and Jermain (why you laugh?)
5) If Bale is match fit, he should play a part in the game with Milan and full match fitness in mind
6) Leave Crouch on the bench till latter stages
7) Hutton at right-back ( go on 'arry, bite the bullet), with Gallas back in central defence, thus...
8) Composure across the back four
9) Do not underestimate ikcle fighting for their lives Wolves who have beaten up all the 'big boys' on their home turf
10) Avoidance of 'one of those days' delivered with three vital points to secure top four

Hardly moon on a stick territory.