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Entries in glory glory (35)

Thursday
Jan032008

Levy mythology?

Original post by Solaar from GG.net:

Levy and the myth of the signing youth for resale-value

I see that a lot of people have agreed upon Levy being a man who likes to buy young because of resale-value. I don't understand this and would like to say that it is probably just a myth, please prove me wrong. Show me a direct quote of him saying this, or else I just refuse to believe it.

If not, show me evidence of the case being him buying a youth player and then selling them for a lot more than what we bought them for. Oh, and please have in mind these conditions:

1. The player must not have expressed an obvious desire to leave.
2. The player must have been an integral part of our first-team (i.e played more than 15-20 games a season), otherwise you can't exactly say that selling the player is a big problem for us.

I actually believe that Levy does not do this. We have made progress on all levels since he came into the club. We have also had set-backs, but are they in the end his faults? The biggest set-backs imo have been Arnesen and Carrick leaving, together with signing Bent for £16 M. Bent probably is a good buy, but that amount was bad business - but whose fault is that? Levy or Comolli? The rest has brought us forward (maybe with the exception of signing Comolli, that is yet to be proved).

I believe Levy prefers buying youth because he wants to build a team for the future, not because he wants to increase our financial earnings. It is just a myth because making us a consistent top-6 team would bring a hell of a lot more money into the club than buying and reselling youth players, at least when we're talking about 18-21 year old players.

Spooky, I await your response.

Thread has (at the time of writing) hit 4 pages. I'm going to keep it simple as I think you and the other GG'ers have covered just about every angle imaginable on this subject.

Regardless of whether the policy exists or not, Spurs/Levy do not spend money on 'ready made super-stars'. The closest we have come to doing so is signing Berbatov, who was far from being world-famous when he signed for us. Its more than obvious he aims for players that potentially can turn into great players, therefore giving us a win-win situation. We keep them, the team improves. We sell them, we're in the money. The crux is, we don't sell players unless they want to leave (or at least that's the illusion). So far, it rings true. Carrick wanted out, we sold him. Berbs will probably follow because of the same reasons.

The thing is, this system isn't working as effectively as Levy would have himself believe it is. Sometimes, you have to bite the bullet. You have to invest in a ready-made finished article player, even if it means paying a little more into his wage packet. Surely if you are willing to spend £16.5M on a striker, you can allow for the wage structure to cater for world-class signings. Petrov, apparently, was too much of a risk. Not risky enough for City to gamble on. And on current form, I would have loved to see him in a Spurs shirt. How is he any less of a risk than someone like Bent or Zokora? Or even Jenas?

The young players we do bring in, who could potentially be sold for more money doesn't actually improve the team in the present, does it? You can't have a team of potentially good players and no backbone of experience. Seems the mixture isn't quite right. Yes, it takes time to mould and once more we are at the start of a new regime. But if you look back over the last few years, you can't say any one of our young players has turned into a potential superstar. Some of them have flirted with the possibility, but delusions turned back into reality from where I stand in the Park Lane.

We've bought the likes of Kaboul and KPB - and their current lack of quality is telling. Lennon has turned to shit. Huddlestone still has plenty of work to do in order to improve his game....and so on. Could we get £8M for Jenas? Actually, we probably could considering the way money is thrown about nowadays. But when you turn around and pay £8M for Zokora, or possibly £8M for Hutton - the whole ethos of buying players that adhere to a certain set of criteria loses its reasoning.

Its typical Tottenham. Over complicating matters, trying to be far too clever.

It's simple. Buy the players that will improve the team and create stability and balance and help progress us forwards, fixing the issues that currently blight us. Maybe that's what Levy is aiming to do, and this 'myth' is simple creating arguments over what his masterplan is all about.

If Hutton is the answer to the RB position, then fair enough. £8M or £9M, probably isn't relevant to whether we could sell him for more 3 years from now. The more pressing matter would be to hold onto him long enough for the team to achieve success - because at this rate we appear to be buying players that Man Utd will pluck from us in the coming seasons.

So Levy does have sell-on value in mind - but not as the priority. And he is picky with the 'older' more expensive and experienced players. We obviously have money, so if they rate a player and believe the player will become 'great' then whether they steal him for 500K or buy him for £8M probably isn't too relevant in their eyes. Obviously, in 5 years time, if we haven't moved forward then Levy and his DoF system isn't working because the players they are purchasing are simply not fulfilling the potential they were initially bought for. And like I said, if the mixture isn't right, then he isn't bringing in the right players at the right time.

I don't think the masterplan is to simply buy for the sake of being able to sell the players on for profit. But he has shown weaknesses for improving the squad when it was necessary to do so (i.e. the season we sat in 4th for 4 months comes to mind.....where were the Jan Window transfers to consolidate 4th place beyond any doubt?) We could have done with some real world-beaters at that point in time.

As noted in the Solaar post, "...making us a consistent top-6 team would bring a hell of a lot more money into the club than buying and reselling youth players".

And yet we buy Gunter and (looking like) Hutton. An 18 year old and 23 year old. Sure, both are meant to be top drawer. But if he doesn't follow up with an experienced 'class' centre-back, then you have to start questioning the logic.

I'm beginning to repeat myself now.

In the past, Spurs have gone out and bought what they believed to be top players, for key positions. And they turned out to be miserable signings. I think trusting Ramos will help us in abundance.

It just seems that all we buy are 'kids' and sometimes we strike lucky (Berbatov). It's not enough.

EDIT:

Hutton has apparently rejected a move to Spurs. So, was this Tottenham's 'number one target' for the right-back position (considering we have already bought Gunter)? Who will they now move for? Another younger, less promising target? Rather than a quality experienced 26 year old?

And if we go on to sign a few players in this window, and not bring in another RB, way make out we needed one in the first place?

It just doesn't seem to make sense.

Wednesday
Nov282007

Levy: The Trilogy - Part III

THE DAZZA INTERVIEW

Dazza, over at Glory Glory got to bag 5 minutes with Daniel Levy. I’m some what disappointed that he didn’t let me know of the whereabouts and the time of the interview in advance. Not that I would have turned up and superglued myself to the chairman. No. It’s just nice to know where the chairman is on a day to day basis considering I pay his wages via my season ticket purchase season after season.

Here’s the interview.


http://www.glory-glory.co.uk/blogs/dazzalondon

And below, with comments.

Evening Mr Levy, thank you for sparing me some time on what is obviously a busy day.

DL – Yes, very busy............

Playing golf? Football Manager 2008? You get paid a cool million a year, I’m sure you can spare more than 5 minutes for one of the common people. Just hold your breath so you don’t have to breathe in the fumes of a ‘football fan’.

I’ll try and be as brief as I can then. I’ve taken a few questions from people on the website. Having read your EGM address I won’t be asking anything about the stadium or selling the club rumours.

How’s Juande’s English lesson’s going and how long before you reckon he’ll feel comfortable enough to do his own TV comments?

DL - I can sit and have a conversation with Juande and understand exactly what he’s saying but with interviews you are expected to reply quickly and he doesn’t want to be put in a position where he says the wrong thing that gets twisted. He’s probably a couple of months away from conducting his interviews.

As long as he understands ‘YOU’RE FIRED!’, right? Though its more likely he’ll be telling you in broken English to stick Comolli ‘uppa your arseo’.

Some fans are curious as to why you weren’t on screen during his initial press conference.

DL – Because if I had been the majority of the questions would have been about Martin Jol’s leaving as opposed to looking forward with Juande signing. Besides that’s the Sporting Directors job. The same reason as I wasn’t present during the unveiling of Martin and Frank Arnesen was.

Let’s correct this one.

‘Because I would have struggled to answer any of the questions posed because I handled the whole Jol affair like Pepe Le Pew on the pull’.

I saw the interview with Juande pre-match on Sky before the West Ham game and he seemed very non-committal regarding Berba’s future. Subtitles were – “Ask him”. Has his introduction had a settling affect on the squad with regards to being any closer to contract negotiations with Berba and Defoe? How much of a worry is it for you that Sky Andrew is Defoe’s agent after what he persuaded Sol to do?

DL – There aren’t any tensions in the squad. Berba is already on a long contract and he’s signalled he’s happy. As for Jermaine, he’s publicly stated he wants to stay and I reiterated in today’s EGM our wish that he does stay. Now it’s pretty much down to him. Sky Andrews – Draw your own conclusions.

Yes. You should have sold Defoe to Pompey way back. Instead, you sat back and watched a new Judas scenario develop. Not to worry. The club is bound to get it right third time round.

Do you ever ask for or get offered feedback from the players regarding the coach?

DL – I never ask for feedback but any I do get comes back via players agents rather than the players themselves.

Care to share what Sky Andrews may have said to you recently? Go on. I bet it was fruity.

What is the criteria for signing new players if the manager suggests them? Any truth in the tabloid gossip that 3 of Juande’s targets were disregarded because they were “over 26”?

DL – I can categorically say there is no truth in that rumour what-so-ever.

Agreed. Because we just over-spend on under-23’s instead.

Has there been any progress on the goal keeping coach position? Has anyone thought of offering Paul a trip to a clinical hypnotist to ease any self doubts he experiences and try and get him back to full confidence?

DL – There is no progress as yet. And if you saw Paul’s display against West Ham yesterday I think he had a good game and his confidence is there for people to see.

No, what’s there to be seen is that he still needs to shed some weight. His ‘saves’ at West Ham were alright, if a little bit overly ‘dramatic’ for the cameras to enjoy. Seeing a hypnotist isn’t that bad of an idea. How about using one on Jenas to trick him into believing he is a footballer.

Fan’s really don’t want to share with West Ham. The travel connections are even worse than WHL. Are there any truth to these rumours &/or alternatives should we have to move away from WHL for any rebuilding work?

DL – If we should, and I’m not saying we will, have to ground share at all then theoretically how would people feel about sharing with Arsenal. Which would they prefer?

That’s like asking if I’d prefer to share a bed with Michael Barrymore or take a skinny dip in his pool.

(Dazza's response) – Well I actually did an article on this, asking people to think with their head rather than their heart and you’d be surprised to percentage of people that said sharing the Emirates would be the preferable short term option with regards to increased capacity meaning more revenue and an increase in season tickets.

Stop kissing arse, Dazza. Referring to ‘revenue’ probably made Levy all giddy. I bet he smirked didn’t he? He licked his lips too, didn't he? Yeah, of course he did.

Have there been any “culprits” identified for these continuing leaks that appear to be coming from the club?

DL – We’ve investigated and found nothing. If you look at the way things transpired with Martin then it’s possible there was no leak. Firstly it was rumoured he’d resigned before the game, then that he’d been sacked at half time but no final decision was made until after the game. With regards to the leak about the ground expansion. I’m sure that came from somewhere other than the club. The reason why I’m so sure was that only a handful of people knew anything about that and most of them were from outside the club.

What? You mean there are no ‘In The Knows’ or club insiders working their magic, cryptically informing fans on forums with exclusives that have yet to hit the newsstands? No espionage? Just coincidence and enough shit thrown at the wall, some of it will stick? Damn it! I WANT TO BELIEVE!

Finally, on a personal note, do you have any spare tickets for the Anderlecht game that I can buy off of you, I’ve already booked my travel????

DL – (laughs) I’m afraid not.

Dazza, I’m disappointed. This is pretty much a stereotypical ‘last question’ to end the interview with a smile. Christ, you been watching Parkinson as prep? How about asking him about the crate in his basement with the Arsenal memorabilia? Or whether he has kept any of the effigies I’ve mailed him? Or why only the West Stand gets bagels? You’ve sold out man. You’ve sold out.

Well thank you very much for sparing me this time to answer questions. Good luck.

DL – You’re welcome

Good luck? Miracle more like.

Wednesday
Nov282007

Levy: The Trilogy - Part I

THE EGM

You know what it’s like. You’re standing at a bus stop waiting for ages and then three come along at the same time. It’s been a little quiet from Mr Chairman recently, quotes wise. We’ve had the leakage of the alleged new Spurs stadium (plans have been drafted and fired across to the council). Would seem that rebuilding WHL and having to ground share is the most likely outcome. Then Levy gives us three shots of Levyisims.

  • The EGM
  • Comolli and Jol Blast
  • An interview with a member of Glory Glory

I’m going to work through all three.

First up, The EGM – which took place on Monday 25th Nov at 2pm. Below, with comments.

Before we start on the official business I should like to say a few words to the meeting.

We have much to be optimistic about going forward and that is what I wish to concentrate on today. We have made changes recently in order to strengthen our position in several areas. This is a dynamic business and as such we have to constantly respond to changing circumstances, some within, but many outside, of our control.


Translated. 'We fucked up and humiliated the club publicly in the past so let’s not dwell on my personal mistakes and just brush it all under the carpet because the future is bright and any potential mistakes I will make going forward haven’t happened yet'.

Have to give him credit for the ‘dynamic business’ explaination, with a slight nod to ‘some within’ and ‘many outside’, in reference to control. Some within? How about all of them within? The fire is started by the man holding the matches.

As a result, these last three months have been testing times for us all. Both the Club and I personally have endured much criticism. We have absorbed much blame – very little of which was justified with facts. But we elected not to respond and rather to hold our counsel. We took the clear decision that we would not discuss private matters in public and we did this in the long-term interests of the Club and all parties involved.

I should now like to take this opportunity to once again thank Martin Jol, Chris Hughton and Hans Segers and wish them well in their future careers.

Again, this is textbook. Deny everything, sometimes with silence, sometimes with carefully constructed propaganda. I mean, come on. To state that discussing private matters in public is something the club did not do is hilarious considering the Kemsley/Ramos fiasco. If that's not publicly telling the world something is amiss at the club, I don’t know what is, whether you meant it or not. As for all the media coverage that followed, what do you expect from the tabloids finest? They never print the truth in its entirety, as distortion makes for better reading. You handled the whole affair with a distinct lack of class, playing into the hands of the media.

Nice touch with the ‘thank yous’. Magnanimous.

We have a new and respected coaching team and I look forward to introducing Juande to you after the formal proceedings today and for you to hear his thoughts on the remainder of the season.

The performance of the business means that we retain the ability to invest and, in respect of players on long contracts, we have no need to sell. It is noteworthy that all key players are on long-term contracts with the exception of Jermain Defoe, who has expressed publicly that he wants to remain at the club and I put it on record that we want him to stay.

The mention of ‘he wants to remain at the club’ is ominous. Sol Campbell anyone? The fact that Jermain’s agent is Sky Andrews should tell you everything you need to know about the situation. There’s no doubt that the player is doing the right thing from his own personal perspective. He doesn’t play every game, he doesn’t start every game. He could do so at another club. Fact is, he’s a bit shit. He hasn’t developed over the past 3 or 4 years suggesting he lacks the required footballing brain to become International class (yet alone world class). And with money being one of the main priorities of the modern day footballer, with Andrews’s guidance, why not seal a move away and earn a fair amount on the way? LOL, I said ‘earn’.

Defoe has to sign before the Jan transfer window, or he’ll be sold.


I should also like to correct newspaper reports that have existed, despite my denials, that ENIC has agreed to sell its shareholding in the Club. For nearly 7 years we have, I believe, moved this Club forward, but have had to endure constant speculation from those who would seek to detract from what we are achieving. For the record yet again, no offer has been made for the Club during my time here, not even by Roman Abramovich as was so incorrectly reported.

This year sees us report record financial results. TV, sponsorship, retail, ticket and corporate hospitality revenues have all contributed to an increase of 39% in turnover and good management of the business has seen profits rise to 31% of turnover. We have continued to upgrade the Ticket Office and this has now been relocated to Paxton Road. Service levels are critical in this area of the business and it is important that we continuously evaluate and raise standards of delivery. We have centralised customer service and this has been well received – we shall, however, continue to seek further improvements.

Yes, yes. You’re rich. We get it. Bagel sells alone in the West Stand should help pay for its renovation.

Investment and work on valuable community-based projects through the Tottenham Hotspur Foundation continues to go from strength to strength. In conjunction with our application for the Training Centre at Bulls Cross is a commitment to deliver a 10 year outreach programme within the local community worth in excess of £2.3m.

We currently have a minimum of one player per week attending a community event in areas local to the club and our facilities. It is a tremendous commitment not only by your club, but also by the First Team and Academy players who derive a genuine benefit and enjoyment from this aspect of their footballing lives. It is also a much valued and appreciated service to the communities.

Earlier this month we also launched our Spurs Learning Zone – a dedicated state of the art facility located here at the stadium, that will host daily classes of up to 30 local children, providing them with access to cutting edge information, communication, podcasting and digital editing technologies - a resource much welcomed by our local council.

Not only as a football club, but as a business in general, the level, quality and effect of our contribution to communities and good causes, is outstanding and sets us apart. We should recognise this and be rightly proud.

I have nothing sarcastic to say on this. Other than the £8M spent on Kaboul could have gone to the Spurs Learning Zone. Bit more value for money.

Looking to our capital expenditure projects - In respect of the stadium I can report, as promised in January, that we have refined our options. At this stage, as I am sure you will understand, it would be commercially inappropriate to discuss these in further detail. To date, Matthew Collecott and I have directed the project and we are making substantial progress. Last week we added to our project team with the appointment of Paul Phillips, who will be the project manager on a day-to-day basis. Paul has a proven track record in delivering complex stadium solutions and was the project leader on the Emirates Stadium.

We should all be conscious of the fact that we face significant hurdles and disadvantages in our search for an optimum solution to increased capacity. For example, with our current location, we do not have inherent land values in Tottenham that could drive enabling development and regeneration. Additionally, the Olympics is taking significant public funds out of the public purse which could assist with any major schemes. There is no easy option for us but we are determined to find a solution. We shall announce our preferred option in the first half of 2008.

Please be assured that your Board is applying the same vigour and determination towards achieving a successful outcome on this capital project as we did for the Training facility and I am pleased to be able to report good news on that now.

I hope we don’t leave WHL. I’m willing to wager we don’t, though ground sharing with West Ham makes me taste vomit every time I think about it. I’m sure everyone will know the final decision before the official announcement. Just keep an eye out for bit torrent links in Spurs forums. One thing I will say. If we remain at WHL, for the love of all things transporty, please give us an underground station within minutes of the stadium. Fucking bribe someone if you have to.


We achieved a terrific step forward with future plans when earlier this month Enfield Council Planning Committee voted to grant planning permission for our Football Training Centre – a combined First Team and Academy facility - at Bulls Cross, Enfield. We were absolutely delighted with this outcome, the culmination of years of hard work and determination by a dedicated in house team and external consultants. The application will now pass to the Mayor of London and the Government Office for London for final approval.

I shall now ask James Budd of architects KSS to make a brief presentation on an overview of the scheme.

Thank you James.

As you can see it is an outstanding facility – the creation of a world class First Team and Academy training facility set on over 60 acres and we have now achieved an important first step towards realising this vital project for the Club. It will be instrumental in attracting the best young talent and afford our current squad state of the art facilities in which to train over the season.

See. Bribes do work. As for attracting the best young talent, doubt we can compete with Wenger and his world wide circle of friends. When was the last time Spurs developed and progressed ‘young talent’ into a prominent role in the first team? Ledley King? Not exactly West Ham’s academy is it?

Our Academy is already home to some of the most outstanding young talent in the country. When much has been said about the need to nurture young home grown English talent, you can be proud that your Club boasts no fewer than 8 academy players in the England youth teams. Additional to this are a further 8 players who represent their countries at youth international level. The Club now has a total of 34 international players and 7 full England internationals.

I stand corrected. We already have the talent. I await to see if Pekhart, Dixon, Parret and company ever make it pass the reserves. Our youth players always get a big shout in the match day programmes but then end up at Orient on loan. Then sold to Hull or someone of equal standing. As for 34 international players, you’ve included Ghaly in that total, haven’t you, you cheating dog? And at this current moment in time, having 7 England internationals is really nothing to shout about. Especially as the only one who would stand a chance of a consistent place in the team is King, and he’s injured.


We shall keep you informed as we progress the Training Centre project – our current timetable aims for completion in the summer of 2010 but I would stress once again that there are still further stages to be passed in the next few months and we should also expect opposition to continue. I would ask that you continue to give it your support as we progress through those stages.

In closing, I should like to thank everyone at the Club for their contribution to last season's success and to the Club's supporters for their magnificent support. This year we celebrated our 125th Anniversary – a notable landmark for a great football club – but equally important that we now look ahead with confidence and ensure that glory is not a term used only to recall events from the past. We have much happening now that will impact greatly on our future.

Thank you

Believe me. We won’t be forgetting our 125th Anniversary in a hurry. It’s been a notable landmark alright. Like the time a porn star failed to get wood with Jenna Jameson. PATHETIC AND LIMP.

‘Glory’ will always be synonymous with the past, because our success is firmly placed there. The sooner all mention of 1961 is banished from the terraces and the directors box, the better.

Wednesday
Aug292007

Standard and Glory Glory


Back (inside) pages of todays Standards cover the Levy banning order on the London paper and have several quotes taken from the pages of the Glory Glory forum. I'll take it as a compliment that they have not quoted me. Not once. Not a single quote. Not one word. Anyways, goes to show they spend a lot of time browsing and lurking in Spurs forums - which explains why so many shit transfer stories end up in the newspapers.

Here's a collection of quotes (from the GG.co.uk thread the Standard quoted from) that they chose NOT to print:

Think both Mellor and Norman are crap journalists who use their columns for personal agendas rather than "reporting", so see no problem with this. And there are enough media outlets operating that this is hardly a restriction of the freedom of the press to cover spurs - The Last Mango in Paradise

-

So many bad things happen to so many nice people. Why do people like Mellor never get a dose? The man is vile on so many levels. Self-important ponce. - the dza

-

Fuck off, you twit.

Free speech in a "free society" doesn't include that private persons and companys open up their doors for you to obtain material with which to libel them in public.

If you are worried about not being able to compete with other media, then perhaps you should review your reporting style. Idiot. - DanishLineker

-

I'm just surprised its only the Standard that he is banned!

I've always liked the Standard and it has given us a lot of balanced coverage over the years - however, I usually chose not to buy it on the day (Tuesdays) when Norman wrote in it. He believe he has absolutely no inside information and desite being a fan seems to have a vendetta against the club dating back to Sugar.

Or perhaps he is just indicative of the current media who are negative and cynical for the sakes of it. Believe me if Spurs won the Champions League, Norman would find something trivial to moan about instead.

Hopefully Neil Ashton, the vindictive little bastard, from the Daily mail will be the next one banned for all the crap that he has spouted in his columns and on talkSPORT in the last 2 weeks. - Mr Gafferson

-

matthew norman is a cunt, always seems to me the guy has always had personal vendetta against the club (which he supports) - Billyiddo

I didn't post anything quotable in that thread. Gutted. Just gutted.

Wednesday
Aug222007

Spooky Editorial

Posted on GG.net:

It seems there are countless of threads about the same topic, relating to the mess at the Lane, so I will simply add to it with my own by stating one word:

Justified.

I've been preaching to you mugs for years, outside the ground on Bill Nic way with a megaphone, in disguise and talking in code language to avoid Levy’s minions from knowing my true goals. Sadly, very few - well actually nobody - cracked the code, which was disappointing. When I was preaching about God, it was obviously a reference to Hoddle.

And all those times that I've signaled to others in the Park Lane to burn their season tickets, you all responded with shouts that Levy has invested well and is a 'true fan' and has our best interests at heart.

Yeah, well, look at what the true fan has done.

This is akin to going out with a beautiful stunning woman. The sex is fantastic. Sure, she gets a headache now and again and the sessions in bed could be improved with her taking the initiative more and not sitting back waiting to get fucked. And sometimes her decision making is a little off-key. Would be nice if she swallowed rather than spat. But after two years of banging her, she’s in prime shape, and with the addition of a couple of expensive implants upfront she looks the business. But you want more. You don’t just want the ordinary. You want the goal all men strive for. You want her up both pipes. You want anal sex.

And she’s willing. She’s working towards it. You can almost smell the lube. But suddenly you get impatient. When is ‘soon’? What if she promises something that never materialises? Sticking a finger up there just isn’t enough, damn it!

Then next thing, you’re offering a hooker enough money to make her dizzy, just so that you can purposely dip your tie in the chocolate moose. The hooker turns you down, too busy with another client. But it’s too late. Your bird knows what you've done, and she’s heart broken.

There’s no chance of it now. You’ve lost her. And soon enough, with all trust gone, you’ll have to go back to speed-dating, while your ex has moved onto bigger and better things and is out getting fucked senseless up the arse without a condom.

And all you can think is: “It could have been me. I could have gone bareback like the pornos”

That's you Levy. You had the Brown Gold in your hands and you let it slip.

You make me sick. You and your blind idiotic followers.

Monday
Aug202007

An alternative look at the seasons events from White Hart Lane

Summer, 2007

LEVY: Here’s £40M, spend it well.
COMOLLI: Of course I will. Have I let you down before?
LEVY: Well, I suppose Zokora hasn’t…
COMOLLI: He needs to settle! Damn it Daniel how many times do I have to explain the settling down thing! Sacré bleu!
LEVY: Just make sure Martin has the final word on all transfer targets. Don't want to get him upset. He's scary when he's angry.
COMOLLI: Of course I will consult with him. As if I would spend the clubs money without the capo’s word.
LEVY: And if you plan to travel abroad to complete any potential signings, don’t allow some skinny teenager to take photos of any new players, resulting in them appearing on forums before the official site. Be discreet at all times! Remember go incognito.
COMOLLI: Fucking hell, yes, yes. Jesus, I know what I’m doing, I use to work for Arsenal for fucks sake. Chill out. I have a disguise and an alternative name I travel under.
LEVY: Which is?
COMOLLI: Diego Ribas da Cunha.
LEVY: Catchy.

Later on…

COMOLLI: So Martin, who should we bid for? A left-winger perhaps?
JOL: No, no. We need more midfielders, lots of them. All different types. Big midfielders, small midfielders, sexy midfielders, tall midfielders, fast midfielders, slick midfielders, young midfielders....
COMOLLI: A creative midfielder?
JOL: No, no. Let’s buy a left-back instead.
COMOLLI: Ok. But we have a few already…
JOL: Yes, but not Gareth Bale. Fantastic talent. Can score precision free-kicks. I want Bale.
COMOLLI: Ok. Let me just make a note of this……Must sign Bale.
JOL: Why are you writing it on your hand?
COMOLLI: I forgot my notepad.
JOL: Yes, but in crayon?
COMILLI: I left my pencil at home. Ok, so Bale is our target. Anyone else?
JOL: We need a defender, a good one. Young, strong. Someone to cover King.
COMOLLI: You have someone in mind?
JOL: No, no. I trust you to find someone. Scout some players and let me know who you recommend we should bid for. I will give you the go-ahead if I’m happy with the video footage.
COMOLLI: Ok, so two defenders on our hit-list. A left-winger perhaps now?
JOL: No. I want you to bid for Scott Parker and Kieran Dyer and offer them a kings ransom in wages.
COMOLLI: Right, ok. Dyer and Parker.....
JOL: Haha, don’t be a mug all your life. Of course I don't want them. They are shit. I want another young player with potential. Giles Barnes perhaps, or one from the continent.
COMOLLI: Ok, I think I know someone from abroad. Boateng. Good player, bags of potential. Will be one for the future.
JOL: Good, good. I like ones for the future. They need many hugs on the touchline. I'm good at that. Hugging.
COMOLLI: Yes, sir. You are. My back is still recovering. Anyone else? Left-wing?
JOL: Darren Bent.
COMOLLI: Darren Bent?
JOL: Yes. Why not. If we are going to challenge for 4th and all cups including UEFA Cup, why not have the best strike-force in England? Bid for Bent. Levy has money coming out of his bum.
COMOLLI: Ok. So Bale, Bent and Boateng. Left-wing now? A creative midfielder?
JOL: What’s your fucking hang-up on a creative midfielder? We have Taarabt. I will play him when he's ready and he will fill the void. We can save ourselves £10M or so.
COMOLLI: And the left-wing? We need to fill that void. Petrov perhaps?
JOL: Bah, Petrov, Shevtrov. Bid for him if you want.
COMILLI: I could try for Duff again if you prefer?
JOL: Forget it! He chose Newcastle. He got away from us. Its finished. Over. He is not a target anymore. Don't tell me you are still having the nightmares? He's hardly kicked a ball for them anyway.
COMOLLI: I nearly signed him you know. If only we offered him twice as much....if only......
JOL: Just bid for Petrov. Keep the Spurssh forums distracted for a bit. He wont sign. He'll do what Duff did and go where the money is. And all this fuss about a left-winger. We came 5th twice with no left-winger.
COMOLLI: I'll get to work now.
JOL: Good, I have some personal things to do online.

(Jol boots up his PC, logs into glory-glory.co.uk and starts a thread using his alias)

WE8CAMPBELL: I have some news. Torres is on his way. Medical tomorrow, should sign end of week.

JOL: Hehe...

Politics

MIDO: What’s this?
DIETITIAN: Its lunch.
MIDO: What? This is bullshit man. Bullshit!
DIETITIAN: It’s a healthy balanced meal, it’s what all the players get.
MIDO: Fuck this shit maaan! I want a fucking cheeseburger, double cheese, double burger with extra cheese and burger and some fucking burgers with fries. And I want a diet coke to go with that!
DIETITIAN: You can’t smoke in here.

(Mido Lights up a cigar)

MIDO: Fuck you. I’m Mido. Nobody tells me what to do.
DIETITIAN: Ok, well, can you take your meal please and join your teammates.
MIDO: It’s not a meal, man, its rabbit food. I’m wasting away here! I'm skin and bones!
DIETITIAN: Damn it, every day it’s the same thing. You can’t have a frigging burger! Now please Ahmed, take a seat....
MIDO: Yeah well fuck you and fuck this club and its politics. I’m going to Birmingham.

Later…


STEVE BRUCE: Ok, so that sorts out the wages. I’m happy. Anything else?
AGENT: I think we are fine.
STEVE BRUCE: Happy days.
MIDO: Hold on.
STEVE BRUCE: Yes..?
MIDO: What do we eat?
STEVE BRUCE: You mean now? We could go for a meal to celebrate, once you sign the contract.
MIDO: I’m not signing any motherfucking contract until I know what we eat. What do you feed the players?
STEVE BRUCE: Well, its all done by a dietitian, it’s a healthy balanced…..
MIDO: Cheeseburgers?
STEVE BRUCE: Of course not.
MIDO: Fuck this shit. I’m out of here. No burgers, no deal.

And later…..

GARETH SOUTHGATE: Hi Mido, its Gareth here. Would you be interested in joining Middlesboro?
MIDO: Jesus Christ, no fucking way.
GARETH SOUTHGATE: We are happy to pay you loads of money.
MIDO: Will the money be made of burger meat?
GARETH SOUTHGATE: I suppose that can be arranged.
MIDO: DEAL!

The Sunderland Defeat

LEVY: That wasn’t good.
JOL: I know, we played shit.
LEVY: What went wrong.
JOL: We didn’t get going.
LEVY: Let’s try and get back on track.
JOL: Will try to do so. With so many players out....
LEVY: You should be fine. You've got us up and running for the past two seasons.
JOL: I know. It will be fine.
LEVY: You know the newspapers and fans are going to start to stir up the wrong type of publicity for the club?
JOL: This is England, yes?
LEVY: Well, you have my support, 110%.
JOL: That's not a vote of confidence is it?
LEVY: Technically speaking I would have to release a press statement.
JOL: How's your wife?

(Pause and stare)

LEVY: Yes, shes good. You should come...come round for dinner one night.
JOL: I think I will.

In the forums

‘This is disgraceful!’
‘What’s gone wrong?’
‘No balance – no organisation’
‘Is Jol tactically inept?’
‘Who do we need to buy to get things right?’
'Worst weekend ever'
'Why so defensive?'
'I miss Ledders!'
‘Same old Tottenham’
‘Jol's not good enough!’

The Media

SLAG01: HAHA, looks like the Hotspurs have fucked up.
SLAG02: Yeah, should be fun slagging them off for flopping so badly, and live on TV too! £40M spent and they lose to Sunderland.
SLAG01: Serves them right, their fans are so fickle. They thought they could challenge for the title.
SLAG02: Did they say that?
SLAG01: Nah, just made it up. Gonna print it too.
SLAG02: Fuck, you’re good.
SLAG01: Course I am, that’s why I’m the Sports editor.
SLAG02: Up the ‘ammers!
SLAG01: HIGH FIVE!

The Everton Defeat

LEVY: Martin?
JOL: Yes, yes. I know. But you can’t judge me on two games.
LEVY: I’m not. But we need to pick up and pick up soon.
JOL: And we will. Two 5th places on the trot. No other Spurs manager in the past 20 years can claim that, no? Two defeats can't mean anything compared to two full seasons of progression, no?
LEVY: What are doing?
JOL: We will win against Derby and it will kick start our season.
LEVY: They booed the team tonight.
JOL: They may boo from the stands but face to face, they will shit their pants. They will sing my name on Saturday. I promise you. Anyways, they were not booing me. They were booing the players. And I've had words with them. They understand their responsibilities.
LEVY: Berbatov's out injured.
JOL: Yes, but we have Bent.
LEVY: Good signing. Money well spent.
JOL: I know.

In the forums

‘He’s got to go’
‘Humiliating’
‘What’s gone wrong?’
‘Why did we buy Bent?
'Dear Mr Levy...'
‘Jol doesn’t have a clue’
‘He’s not the right person for the job’
‘How long does he have left?’
'Two defeats - is our season over?'
'No midfield, why didn't we invest better?'
'The last two years have been flushed down the toilet'

The Bookies

BOOKIE01: Bets are piling on.
BOOKIE02: One little white lie and were in the money.
BOOKIE01: Farking mugs! Easy money!

In the Media

SLAG01: HAHA! Another loss.
SLAG02: Yeah, we should run stories on him being under pressure and the board being unhappy.
SLAG01: Are the board unhappy? Have you spoken to someone there?
SLAG02: Well no….
SLAG01: I know, we can say….an insider told us!
SLAG02: Yes! Of course. But we need more exclusives.
SLAG01: Easy. Lets wait for the Spurs fans to give us some ideas.
SLAG02: How?
SLAG01: Easy. Type in www.glory-glory...

In the forums, In the know...

‘Levy is unhappy and Spurs are looking for a replacement’
‘Jol has been sacked. Derby is his ‘wave goodbye game’'
‘Ramos is an option’
‘Comolli and Jol don’t get on, Jol has no power over transfers’
‘Levy and Jol don’t get on’
‘Board unhappy with Jol’
‘Spurs sending director to meet with Ramos’
‘Jol knows he is history’

Back in the Media


SLAG01: This is Gold!
SLAG02: Are you copy and pasting?
SLAG01: Yes, I know how to copy and paste!
SLAG02: Use spell checker too.
SLAG01: Back pages here we come!
SLAG02: How much do you earn?
SLAG01: £90,000
SLAG02: HIGH FIVE!!

In Spain

KEMSLEY: Hi, I’d like to inquire about some of your players?
RAMOS: No chance.
KEMSLEY: Are you available?
RAMOS: I don't date men.
KEMSLEY: That's not what I meant.
RAMOS: You want me to leave Champions League, two-times UEFA Cup Champions for Spurs?
KEMSLEY: Doesn't sound plausible when someone says it out loud.
RAMOS: Adiós.

The Derby Win

LEVY: That’s better.
JOL: Yes. Jenas was majestic.
LEVY: Good comfortable three points and a clean sheet.
JOL: Did you hear the crowd singing my name before we even scored?
LEVY: Yes, yes, you have no hair. I’ve heard it once or twice before.
JOL: Utd up next.
LEVY: Fergie's job is on the line over there. Three games none won. We might be in for a backlash.
JOL: With Jenas on form, we have nothing to fear. He destroyed newly promoted Derby.

The Media

SLAG01: Fuck. Can we still write negative things even though they won?
SLAG02: Of course! You’re the editor! You can do what you want!
SLAG01: Ok, lets change the ‘has 1 game to save himself’ to ‘has 6 games to save himself
SLAG02: What about these photos?
SLAG01: What photos?
SLAG02: These.
SLAG01: Your hand is empty, you have an empty hand. You are not holding anything.
SLAG02: Oh yes, but am I?
SLAG01: (Stares)
SLAG02: In my hand, I have photographs of Ramos and a Spurs director talking shop about becoming the new Spurs boss.
SLAG01: But your hand is empty, theres nothing….Oh, I get it. Magic invisible truth photos! Can we print them?
SLAG02: I don’t think we can. Probably best not to. They are only magic when they are in my hands.
SLAG01: Let’s just say we have them, but cant use them. But we've seen them, so that should be enough for our readers.
SLAG02: Excellent! Make sure we use an extra large font to hide the fact we have nothing to report in our exclusive!
SLAG01: Brilliant!

The Fans and the forums...

‘What about the negatives from the game?’
‘No official comment from club on rumours’
‘We beat Derby, doesn’t mean he’s safe’
'Is Adel better than Zidane?'
‘If theres smoke theres fire’
‘Any more rumours floating about?’
‘Berbatov wants to leave’
‘Says who?’
‘Who cares, lets turn this 'Berbs to leave' thread into a 30 pager and the Daily Mirror is bound to see it’
‘Yay! More bullshit! w00t!’

The Sunday Supplement (on Sky)

PRESENTER: Should we spend 10 minutes talking about Tottenham?
JOURNO: Sure, let’s spend 10 minutes talking about rumours and conjecture and look all serious and intellectual when doing it as we are at the peak of our profession.
JOURNO2: Sounds good. I know someone at the club who tells me that Jol and Levy don’t get on.
PRESENTER: Really?
JOURNO2: No, of course not. I read it online.
PRESENTER: Do you have anything to add?
JOURNO2: Billy Levy doesn’t know what he’s doing and Craig Comolli buys all the players without telling Jol and smuggles them into the training Lodge and has them all wearing Jeans masks in training.
JOURNO: And then theres the English block that stops the continental system of having a coach and director of football working at Spurs.
PRESENTER: Jol is Dutch, Comolli is French. They are both continental.

(Silence)

JOURNO: Yes, but its the English block! They don't know how to use the continental system over here. Its too confusing for them. They're in England so being Dutch or French isn't relevant. Jol should be left to be the manager of the club and buy the players he wants to buy. And anyway, theres way too much for a manager to do nowadays and they need help when it comes to running the first team and dealing with transfers.
PRESENTER: You're not making sense. You just contradicted yourself.

(Silence)

JOURNO: I support West Ham United and get paid £90,000 a year.

Back at Spurs

LEVY: Bit crazy all these stories. Ramos this and Ramos that. Don't believe what you read, Martin.
JOL: What stories? Oh, them. No, no. Not paying too much attention. Daniel, can you call me back. I’m playing Football Manager. I'm two nil-up against Arsenal at home......Oh shit, make that 2-1.


Monday
Aug202007

And the shit has hit the fan

A Bulgarian browsing a Spurs forum takes acclaim for this piece of newsworthy info:

Berbatov gave an interview to the Bulgarian New Television yesterday. On the question whether he is going to stay at Spurs he said: There are still 12 days till the transfer window closes. I do not exclude the possibility for moving to another club.

He didn't say the usual "I'm happy at Spurs". He looks as if something has happened during the summer. He may be disappointed with someone/something at Tottenham.

Let's see how long this little gem takes to hit the mainstream media. The above was posted on Glory-Glory.co.uk (where else?) at 4 hours ago.

The interview was broadcasted on New Television (Нова телевизия) in Bulgaria, The World of Sport (Спортен свят), at 14: 30 PM ( yesterday afternoon).

The name of the journalist who conducted the interview was Krum Savov (Крум Савов).

Now. This might be nothing more than made-up bollocks. It was posted on a forum so theres a 97% probability rating that its exactly that. But regardless, someone will see this and tell people who will in-turn tell a bunch of other people. And like a wildfire, it will spread. So, as I said, let's see if this makes it way to the back pages of the tabloid newspapers. And if it does - see how easy it is to push any information (true or false) into the public domain and therefore cause further dis-information and propaganda.

Yes, I see the irony in what I'm doing. But it serves a purpose to prove a point.

Sunday
Aug192007

Dead Man Walking


Dead Man Walking - Guest Blog by 'The East Stander'

On Sky’s Sunday Supplement, various journalists (and I use that word loosely) debated the current state of Tottenham Hotspur. You can watch the video here:

http://www.skysports.com/story/0,19528,11096_2665571,00.html .

It’s Damien Comolli you idiots, not Daniel. And Martin Jol wasn’t brought to the club originally as a Director of Football either. Superb researching on display by England’s finest reporters. I’m not going to dispute any longer that Jol’s position at the club is on thin ice. Even though the journos from the above link were making assumptions based on rumours, the fact that people are discussing any of this means that it’s in the heads of Levy and Jol and pressure is then created from a situation where it might not have existed in the first place.

Jol gave his speech last season and gave credit to Levy. After the opening two defeats, people claiming to know people at the club began to spread rumours. Jol’s job was no longer safe. He and Levy did not see eye to eye. Comolli and Jol do not get on. Jol has not approved of several signings made (i.e. Zokora, Bent). Suddenly, it’s being suggested that the past two years have been achieved through a divided management team that do not get on.

Bookies stopped taking bets on Jol being sacked.

This (prior to the Derby game) appeared on a Spurs forum:

Right dont shoot the messenger but I’m just passing on what I’ve been told this morning by my friend...
He is helping out a lad today whose dad is very good mates with Chris Hughton...
He has said Jol and him are gone after the Derby game whatever happens..
Jol has said to the players he wants a win against derby, a wave goodbye to the crowd before being forced out, he wants to leave with his head held high...
It fits in with what is being said...
Id be gutted if he goes as I love him as a character and a personality, but I’ve been having doubts for a while now whether he has what it takes it get us challenging for the next level...
And was echoed across other forums that suggested that Jol was a dead man walking.

Of course, Spurs won 4-0. And the people who suggested Jol was gone backtracked, saying that Levy had not been able to draft in a replacement and that apparently he will get rid of the manager once we ‘the fans’ turn against him. The Favourite being Ramos of Seville who was apparently spotted with chief executive John Alexander and director Paul Kemsley. The Sunday Mirror had pictures (too low quality to print). Ramos denied the stories, but people would simply suggest ‘where there’s smoke there’s fire’.

There’s been no official word from Spurs. Of course any official word would probably constitute a ‘vote of confidence’ so they can’t win on that front.

But even though I would want to dismiss all stories as mis-truths, Jol appears to be fighting his corner:

“I always think of David Moyes and Everton,” Martin Jol, the Tottenham Hotspur manager, said. “He had a very good year, then the next year was horrendous, but nobody said anything. And now they have a good team and are challenging for the top six. So I just think, leave me be.”

“The board has never personally told me I have to break into the top four,” Jol said, “and betting on me to get the sack, I don’t think so – but you never know. I thought there were whispers last year, but there are whispers at every club. I’m the same as maybe seven people in every ten – I can’t take f***ing criticism.

“As a manager, you want time to build a team. Look at Arsenal and Liverpool, how many of my players would get in for them? If it is six or seven, then we must be fourth. If it is one or two, then we are overachieving. In 25 years, no Tottenham manager has had the number of points we have won over two seasons. None of them.”

Unless he is fighting the media rather than Levy with his words.

On another Spurs forum, a member was asked to post the following – which is apparently from a Spurs board member. Not exactly official club policy to go through a message board rather than the official club site:

As I know you are always in the chatroom, can I provide you with the current position please.

Re Ramos, Klinsmann etc - We are not negotiating with any managers about the replacement of Martin Jol at this time. We are an ambitious club and it is a realistic ambition that we should look to CL qualification, so anything that looks like we may not make it is bound to lead to speculation and we fully expect that. No manager's future is decided on one or two games and it is insulting to suggest that this board would do that.

Re Martin and Damien - they have a good working relationship - the football management board works - no player comes into this club that Martin doesnt agree to - it would be ludicrous to suggest that money would be spent on players Martin did not favour and whom he would not then play, Damien has brought talent to the club with Martin's approval - and we would not have players like Berbatov and Bale without him to mention but two (there are obviously many more).

Re left position - always difficult as evidenced by the fact that the majority of prem teams (Liverpool a notable exception) play a right footer on the left. We have Lennon, Malbranque (who played a blinder on the left yesterday) Bale and Keane. So we have many options and yet we will still look as depth is a key factor of the squad.

Please let me know if any rumours running amok that I have not answered here - will be happy to! best regards,

Too confusing, isn’t it? No real way of knowing whether Mido’s dig at Tottenham’s ‘politics’ is true or just a bitter parting word at the fact that he was shifted out of the club having dropped to 5th in the pecking order.

And are forums really this powerful tool of mass hysteria where a few words posted suddenly appear in the next days edition of The Sun or Mirror?

Is Levy to blame for failing to buck a trend and behave in the manner that has become synonymous with the past - bad management. Why do we have to persistently rock the boat? Or is modern day football to blame, breeding impatience in the terraces and on the board.

Maybe its not all rumours. Maybe there is truth in it. Maybe I'm blinded by the fact that Jol has achieved great success compared to the past set of managers who have failed miserably - but I fail to see that he might not be capable of taking us further.

I said that I no longer dispute the fact that Jol's days maybe numbered. And as you can tell from this article I am unable to settle down into one school of thought on this.

If Jol wasn't in trouble he is now. And its more to do with the hype surrounding it than the actual logical process that should be considered (i.e. give Jol the time he needs).

Maybe sacking him isn't too bad an idea if Ramos replaces him. But I just can't find myself liking that idea at this moment. That must make me pro-Jol and anti-Levy. Spooky will be pleased with that. Though he's anti-everything at the best of times.

TES

Wednesday
Aug012007

'We cherish our loyal support'

The League of Lilywhites is in full swing. Yes, currently, there is only me, but that's fine. Once the football seasons erupts into action there will be plenty of opportunity to recruit. In the mean time, its a case of scouring the Spurs forums for like-minded fans who are not easily blinded by merchandise and the like.

One such fan is Sheikh Ma Nuggets. Honorary member of the League of Lilywhites. The following is from a post at Glory-Glory.co.uk:

Attendance figures to dip below "99%"

Right, first off - the "99%" is a figure gleamed from the various chest-puffing exercises that the club prides itself in carrying out - 'we have sooo much support'. Essentially, 99% (or 98.x%) is a fantastic, highly respectable and not easily rivalled figure.

But I have my doubts about whether this shall remain, for this season anyway.

As we all know, the club introduced a new ticketing system for this season. It's rubbish. The club tried to brush aside various criticisms, stating how the change would carry with it 'a better experience' (load of tosh) and that 'the system would be far more robust and reliable' (more tosh)

The system - as has been demonstrated - is no more reliable, and the experience is no more enjoyable than which was provided by Seatbooker. In fact, it's worse; you can't even see how many tickets are available, and you don't even know if your payment has been processed (after clicking it for the fifthteenth time) How the hell is that an improved service?

We all know why Seatbooker was dropped - it was a case of cost. eTicketing.co.uk are able to deliver the same (well, minus choice) service, as they are able to spread their costs across their client base - unlike Seatbooker. Think 'Tesco' and you're not far off the scent. So don't be fooled that THFC plc gave two hoots about the "customer experience" at all - that's just bullshit put out to drive through the changeover. Were we ever consulted about "customer experience"? No - there you go.

And so we see how well the games are selling - or not, which would be more accurate.

Take for example Everton at home, now I know this will just be anecdotal - but that game has now gone on General Sale. 'So what' I hear you say? Well, last season, I distinctly remember that this game did not reach General Sale - and, in fact, was sold out within a matter of days. Now, of course, there has been the undeniable farce of people not getting their membership (CRN's) packs in time - and it would be wrong to discount that as a contributing factor - but I think the problem will perpetuate right through the course of the season. THFC plc don't think fans care about choice - well they will soon learn that we do. Very much so.

Sure the "big games" like Arsenal will sell out - but that's simply because people don't necessarily care where they sit - just as long as they are there. But as for the smaller, less attractive games? I fear it will be a case of 32-33,000 – which, across the course of a season, would drop our much heralded attendance figure down to around 90%.

This will turn out to be a rather expensive lesson to THFC plc – that is, unless they take some drastic action mid-season. But I can’t see that being so, as you’d have to imagine we are locked-in to at least a 12mth contract with eticketting.co.uk. The club took a regressive step in ‘falling into line with it’s contemporaries’ – hardly worth forking out all the extra cash we have done for the ‘Gold/Silver/Pleb’ memberships?

But then, will this be as expensive a lesson as I first thought? Remember, THFC plc love you so much that – from this season (and probably every one following) they will make claim to your monies a full SIX weeks prior to the event actually talking place. That’s an increase of two weeks – nice. So, while the club come out with their ‘we cherish our loyal support and don’t ever take them for granted’ bullshit – they see no harm in making extra interest in YOUR money, for no valid reason but pure greed.

I'm sure the interest made will cover dinner dates at the Ivy for Levy and family.

Monday
Jul162007

A message from Tottenham Hotspur

It's that time of the year again folks. Tottenham Hotspur Football Club are proud to announce their annual summer sale. So roll up, roll up money grabbing football agents and steal yourself a nice little bargain!

All proceeds go to a very worthy charity - The Daniel Levy Beluga & Perrier Jouet Belle Epoque Foundation™. So please give generously.

Some of this years highlights:

Ahmed Mido - £4m - Thoroughbred fed on a diet of cigars and cheeseburgers. The 'Immovable Object' will cause maximum carnage in the oppositions box. By box, we mean canteen.

Hossom Ghaly - £4m (will accept bid between £2M and £3.5M) - Has a defect that results with stripping of clothes. **Star Buy!!** Can be loaned out for Hen Parties, gay stag-do's and anti-fur demonstrations.

** Special offer: Buy both Egyptians for a special £6M (Redknapp Voucher accepted). **

Tony Gardner - £4m - Only joking. £1.5m. Ok, ok. £450,000.

Danny Murphy - £1m - Comes with added 'Movie Premiers' extra. But nothing else.

Wayne Routledge - £2.5m to £3m - Never been used!!

Paul Stalteri - £2m - Legacy issues relating to losing the ball in the last moments of the game resulting in conceding a Champions League placing point (on three or so occassions) has now been resolved and replaced with a 'dicking of small club in the last second' added value ability as seen at Upton Park last season.

SPECIAL AUCTION

We are also pleased to announce that the following lots have been made available by Tottenham Hotspur Football Club, but only under exceptional auction conditions. Again, all proceeds go to The Daniel Levy Beluga & Perrier Jouet Belle Epoque Foundation™.

Lot 1: Jermain Defoe (Reserve: £9m)

Lot 2: Jermaine Jenas (Reserve: £8m)

Lot 3: Pascal Chimbonda (Reserve: £10m)

* If reserves are not met, these lots shall remain the property of Tottenham Hotspur Football Club.

** Please multiply the above reserve estimates by 25% if you are a representative of West Ham United.

*** Please multiply by 45% if you are a representative of Chelsea FC.

The club would like to thank agents in advance of their continued support for this worthwhile cause. We are advising everyone to bid generously, confident in the fact you will not be disappointed with these quite superb value for money buys.

The trust expect to recoup a figure between £16m-£18m from this year's donations. That's some serious amount of Caviar and bubbly.

Final details willl be released on 1st September 2007.

Yours truthfully,

Daniel Levy Independent Traders plc (D.L.I.T.)
Event Organiser of The Daniel Levy Beluga & Perrier Jouet Belle Epoque Foundation™

With thanks and credit to Sheikh_Ma_Nuggets.


Wednesday
Jun132007

FAO Glory Glory

re: http://glory-glory.co.uk/forums/thread/149159.aspx

So much concern and worry about another club and what they may or may not achieve next season based on their new wage structure (or lack of) and how they turned it around to avoid relegation.

If Jol does his job, we wont have to look over our shoulders.

I saw the same reaction several months back when they signed the two Argies and some of you ladies went utterly apeshit with anxiety.

Stop looking for excuses for our possible failure.

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