War Spooky

Stevie, you ledge. Seriously mate, get your head out of the tub of Brown Ale or whatever it is you lot up there take your baths in, and stand up straight and show me your cock. Yes, you heard me right.

Show me what you got.

No? Ok, let me show you what I've got. Its fucking big, mind. Maybe not as big as this red Manc I know and this scouse git who always walks down the street with it hanging over his shoulder, but mine is still big. Actually, I suppose it isn't compared to that Manc and that scouse git. Or the pikey who lives in the caravan at the end of my road. But I tell you this 'mate', it's bigger than whatever you've got in your pants. And I know this because I asked around and you ain't pulled since 1955. I mean fuck me, that's fucking ages to go without. Must send a man loopy. And blind. Doesn't count if you're constantly playing with yourself. You do know that, don't you? It doesn't count.

And I aint going to accept any of those European bints you got hold of, cause squeezing a tit don't count either. At least I've dipped my end in some choice skirt, home and abroad, since you last tasted some. I don't go without see. Even when I'm not top of my game, I still manage a clever chat up line at the last moment, to help save the day.

So you know what. Let's just leave it. Don't bother getting your small shrivelled cock out. You'll only make the Boro fan standing next to you look hung like a donkey.

Prince charming

Pure plagiarism here. No creative blog spark today thanks to an evil bout of insomnia that had me hallucinating PVC clad care bears.

The Prince is back. Cameo performance in the 1-0 Everton defeat is possibly worthy of a DVD (I’m waiting for confirmation from the Spurs Shop). These highlights are positively electrifying (thanks to McBoggers and co over at GG.net):

• Getting into a bit of an argy-bargy with Fellaini within 15 seconds of coming on
• Showing off his new neck tattoo for the first time in the League this season
• Holding the ball up against 2/3 Everton players and then executing a dragback-spin away from them and into space
• Giant leap to flick the ball onto Lennon which lead to Campbell’s chance at the end
• General display of composure and strength at a time when everyone else was hoofing the ball 900 yards even though Everton’s centre-backs spent the entire game dominating the air
• Trying to remove Tim Howard’s chest from the rest of his body

The kid has bite and enthusiasm. More importantly, its arguable that this almost forgotten reserve/fringe player has shown us in a brief appearance that he has more footballing intelligence (minus the thug element) than some of our supposed international class first-teamers, some of which have set the club back £15M or so.

I’m going to quote DanishWhite (again from GG):

What on earth are we thinking spending 17m on players who are inferior in almost just about every single department to fringe players already in the squad ? Surely, something is all wrong when this almost un-integrational problem-child who is unfit and (allegedly) overpriced, overpaid and overrated can come onto the field for a short cameo in a game all but lost and instantly display a higher skill level, more hunger for the game and significantly more clue about how to play the game on the deck than quite a few than our regulars.

Nail on head.

Deemed not that good by previous management, yet had more presence than most on Sunday. Yes, sure, it was one of those days where selection wise we got out-lucked a little by Everton, who came, scored a fluke goal, then sat back and defended. Great tactics, frustrating for us, but not them. Much like our 1-0 steal from a few seasons ago up at Goodison.

The Prince has more composure on the ball than Zokora, gets more involved than Jenas and has an eye for a decent pass. Redknapp has obviously seen something in this lad so we might be yet surprised with more cameos and possibly even a start against Watford.

Bit of competition from an upstart might get some of our 'certainties' playing with zest.

More scary stats

Thanks to Mudshark over at GG for this. Click here to see the thread and a whole bundle of disapproving numbers that will give you night terrors on top of all the nightmares.

• We haven't won a home league game since beating Portsmouth 2-0 on 22 March 2008 (0 wins in 8 at the Lane).

• We've only won one other game since then, 1-0 at Reading on 3 May 2008 (1 win in 15 home and away).

• We currently have a scoring shortfall of 1.28 goals/game relative to last season overall under Ramos.

• Players who were at the club last season are contributing roughly the same number of goals per game as they were last season (though slightly down on the equivalent figure for last season post-LCF).

• New acquisitions have so far contributed nothing to making up this shortfall.

• Goals against per game are slightly up on last season overall, but better than last season post-LCF.

• The sharp decline in form seems to have begun with the 4-1 reverse at home to Newcastle on 30 March 2008.

• Since beating Portsmouth in March, we have gained 9 points from a possible 45 (0.6 per game).

• This would translate to a total of 23 points over a 38-game season (if rounded up).

• January is a long way off.

Levy no show

Posted by 'Get Levy Out' (I would assume it's someone from the Tottenham Hotspur Supporters Trust as it's his first post on GG.net and claims to be ITK) yesterday:

Sorry if this has been posted but it appears Daniel Levy has turned his back on the fans.

The supporters trust were due to meet with board earlier this week but the meeting was cancelled due to Levy being concerned that one of the more militant members of the trust board may question the way the club has been run.

The club has finally taken the step to divorce itself from its long suffering fan base. As good as an admission of failure to me.

This comes all at a time when the THST chairman Daniel Wynne is stepping down from his role.

Daniel needs to be replaced by a chairman who is going to be firm with the club and willing to take action when the club acts against the wishes of the fans.

Unfortunately the trust have closed new membership (a worrying sign that the club may be trying to influence the result of the chairman vote).

For me, the time to disolve the supporters trust is here as they can no longer be called independent from the club. A proactive action group prepared to take our club back.needs to be formed...

More to follow...

Bit of a PR disaster this for our esteemed chairman. Although how relevant the Trust genuinely is, is debatable. Asking a few questions is neither here or there based on the fact that Levy generally tells fibs. The fact I don't know probably speaks volumes about just how effective and prominent such an organisation is. I'm sure their intentions have always been good, so no offence to anyone who represents the Trust. In their defence, they are the only official recognised 'voice of the fans'. Even if most fans don't even know their exist.

It's all a bit shambolic when the chairman avoids the proposed meeting. Does he expect me to show up and ask the questions? Daniel Wynee (the chairperson of the Trust) is stepping down, so its possible that Levy sees this whole exercise as redundant. Especially if a more militant member takes the helm and asks one or two heart pulsating questions.

If we sat pretty in the Top 4, Levy would be there with bells on. Seems a bit gutless that in this quite horrid time he doesn't see fit to appease as a little. And the Trust no doubt is losing out on some primetime.

A steaming pile of Hotspur

Due to work, and lack of extended highlights, I'm going to allow the boys of Glory Glory.net to sum up today's UEFA Cup match. Bake'em away toys.....

Worrying...

Inept

Clueless

Painful

Scrappy

Shite

~ markysimmo04

roflenham lolspur

~ Truth

DISASTRAMOS

~ yid-soldier

Could have been worse, if we got drawn standard liege we would have got battered

~ diego_maradona

GG quote of the day

In response to 'what will happen if we lose our next 3 games':

Levy sacks Ramos, taps up a new coach who comes in with a new back room staff, changes the diet, sells 18 players, brings in 9 making a great profit for the club, we all get excited that we're finally going to break into the top four, we win a shite trophy that the Big 4 don't give a toss about and go on holiday...

~ belsizespur

Groundhog day or paradox?

Spurs Paradox of the day

We buy players who will need time to develop at the expense of settled, sensible buys for the correct positions, but at the same time the board demands immediate success from our coaches.

~ DanishWhite, gg.net

Brilliant nail-on-the-head observation that. If completely and utterly obvious to Spurs fans (but not our esteemed chairman).

We simply do not have the right people running the club. Sometimes the easiest solution to a transfer conundrum is just that.....'go with the easiest solution'. And yet we somehow manage to dig ourselves into a deeper mess.

Is Levy seeking the best media/fan friendly Tottenhamesque signing each and every time we dive into the transfer market?

I refuse to believe their excuse regarding players of quality are hard to come by. Its possible they have targets - ones which would wet our pants with glee - but they couldn't finalise them. But chasing these glory players when we desperately need steel in midfield staggers me and the rest of us.

Bentley, Gio, Pav - etc - are additions rather than the necessities we are crying out for. But it's all too late now.

Roll on, Jan transfer window, for more of the same, I'm sure.

Message board blues

Aftermath comments from GG.net:

Spurs are in big trouble this season

From what I have seen this season they look like they would have trouble scoring in a brothel

Its a competitive league this year. Man C and Villa have improved and Hull and Stoke are not rolling over for anyone

We are currently dire. Seriously. Absolutely shocking.

Where's all this flowing, attacking football. Yet again we resort to long-ball tactics that Jol was getting murdered for implementing.

This is Wigan for gods sake.

We are in the shit, let's not kid ourselves. Ramos can go on about 'team gelling' until he is blue in the face, but the fact of the matter is that we are, at the moment, where we deserve to be in the table. And unless Ramos et al can sort things out over the next 2-3 weeks we are in big trouble.

But we're not even seeing the bloody basics.

Simple passing, moving into space, awareness of each other, watching opposition runners. We're simply not doing it.

It was shocking to watch, it really was.

We sold too many good players this summer. I'm not even talking about Berbatov and Keane, they wanted out. I'm talking about Malbranque, Tainio, Lee, Chimbonda. We sign enough shit players I'm fed up of selling decent ones when we find them. Malbranque especially was never going to set the world alight but i always liked him at Fulham and was really glad when we signed him. Last season he was probably our most consistent midfielder by a long way, really hard working and good (if not world class) quality. Could also play ANY position in midfield if need be. Tainio was injury prone, but a decent squad player with decent quality again and versatility. Lee was probably the best option for retaining cover in the full back positions, really decent player and Chimbonda ok he was a bit of a twat, but again was a good player who would have done a good job in the squad.

Why dismantle a team that finished 5th two seasons in a row? Such a team doesn't need dismantelling it just needs fine tuning. Yeah Bentley, Modric, Dos Santos seem decent players with some potential, but they weren't needed at all.

It pisses me off as it seems so simple: this summer i'd have had a look at our team and thought , well its not that bad, but could do with probably a midfield enforcer, a proper left winger, a new goalkeeper and cover in defence (given King and Woodgate cant be relied upon to stay fit). I would also have identified a replacement for Berbatov straight away as it was OBVIOUS to everyone except seemingly Levy and the Spurs management that he wanted out.

I'd have gone all out to get a Berbatov replacement straight away and sold him very early on in the window. Then u get it over and done with, u have a replacement, no negative media drama running all summer unsettling the players and fans and we move on. Then I'd have got a defensive midfielder, didn't even have to be a world class giant of a player, just someone who can steady the ship ffs with stamina, pace and positional sense who can play a simple ball, the premiership's actually full of those kind of players and it pisses me off that we dont have one and its a fundamental reason why we struggle to dominate teams....what use are loads of fancy flair players if you cant get hold of the ball and give it to them?

The ONLY position I'd say we were stronger in than last season is goalkeeper.All we've done in some positions is swap skill for hardwork (modric for malbranque, bentley for tainio) and the weaknesses that we had last season are still there. I've not witnesses a more shambolic summer since the sugar/gross type days.

We're overloaded with skilfull attacking midfielders but have no bite and our defence and organisation is all over the place. It reminds me of when West Ham got relegated with Cole, Carrick, Defoe, Kanoute and all those guys in the team. Teams with brittle spines and lack of organisation just can't hack it in the Premiership and if people think we are too good to go down, then you better start waking up and smelling the coffee.

Ouch.

Oh when the cash, comes rolling in......

In light of Levy and his money-collecting habits, the lads from COYS have provided the following football chants, proving that when they leave alone all the ITK rumourwhoring, they can produce something worthy of a smile. Enjoy.

AIM listed,
la la la,
AIM listed,
la la la.

My old man,
Said be a Tottenham fan,
I said fuck off bollocks,
I'm an accountant.

"Daniel Levy's In-the-Black armeee!"

"Kick the ball with your FTSE, my son!!!"

Cos if you know your share prices...
it's enough to make your heart go ooooohhhhhhhh....
we don't care what the other investment groups say
what they hell should we care
cos we only know
when there's gonna be profit taking show
that Tottenham Hotspur (PLC) will be there....
(sang to the tune of 'Grand Old Team')

"The referee's a banker, the referee's a banker!"

"Oh when the cash comes rolling in, Oh when the cash comes rolling in, I wanna see telephone numbers, when the cash comes rolling in"

COOOOOME ON YOU SHARES

ITK's

Reading through GG.net, I found one comment about someone who no longer posts there due to possibly being fed up with people having a dig at him regarding the information he use to pass on. In this case, this bloke was spot on with it (he use to tell everyone the team news before official word had been published, including player positions tactically).

Someone who gets all upset over people slating him because he claims to be ITK has more to do with ego than anything else. Why come onto a message board and drop cryptic crap in the first place if it isn't some kind of deluded respect you're after? And why do people have to know team news, an hour or a day before hand?

Again, knowing something before the majority - before its official - won't change the fact that it will become official.

People (these alleged club insiders and ITK's) need to get themselves a sense of humour and rather than act all deep throat about it, just pass on their info (if that’s what they want to do) with a smile and people who read it should stop craving it like crack whores licking white dust off a shit covered floor.

To claim these people are doing us a favour is bullshit. If someone out there is genuine and actually has ties with the club, then shame on them for passing the info on. Anything else is just subjective hearsay/rumours and should be posted without the 'please kneel before Zod' mentality these utter idiots from COY's seem to be in possession of.

It's all good fun, I know. And I enjoy it as much as the next fan - but certain people take it all far too seriously.

A hellmouth of 'ITK' exclusives

How queer. I mention something about 'In the Know' information and someone provides us all with a summary of the past couple of months. You'll like this. Possibly one or two snippets of info that have been missed, but generally what you are about to read are all the supposed 'connected' people who have inside knowledge to share. This was posted on the Spurs Community forum by Stoof (good man) and covers ITK since the month of April. The info has been gathered from various forums, including GG.net, FTL and the SC.

APRIL

We start on 8th April - which makes is some sort of pre-window record I believe, with noodles saying we want Carrick with some money and are willing to part with the "crown jewels".

dragon1 then piped up a week later saying that Berbs wanted out "100%" - not giving us any choice but to ask for £40 million.

Contact made with Capel according to MadridSpur on 16th April. The plot thickens.

S.LondonSpurs on FTL says Berbatov is 80% a Spurs player next year, midfield to be built around him and Keano too. Apparent problem with Jol?

willdayid on this very site has a friend whose cousin is John Bostock the Crystal Palace wunderkidd. On his way to t'Lane. That takes us to 17th April and some Dan Ashcroft (of SC) news: a promising Leeds youngster, an attacking midfielder been watched numerous times by DC.

A trek over to Spurs Odyssey on April 20th saw Marcspurs with a link to Paul Kemsley running his mouth about, of all people, the buck-toothed one, A.K.A. Ronaldinho. Wants to come to the Premiership, and to London.

noodles still convinced on the 22nd April that Berba is off to either Barcelona or Real Madrid and then BEN thinks that Santa isn't just for Christmas, and Santa Cruz could be Berbatov's successor.

Luka Modric signs and then dragon1 says this shows our ambition to the sulky one. We've hit 26th April now.

Archibald from Spurs Odyssey then pipes up, saying that Modric is one of a big four for us. Capel and Diaz/Jarque are goers together with one of Kameni, Samahanovic (?) and Amelia.

Some more Odysseying from o.kristensen: Comolli was in Norway (Drammen to be exact) regarding a player called Per Ciljan Skjelbred. Yeah. Dam right. Hard-working CM, but then again you all knew that. Rabbi Crackers - Berbatov going 100%. Only overseas bids considered.

Eto'o and his agent at the Lane - that's Lane where we play, not Lodge where we sign - Paul said the first bit on 28th April - he's a Spurs Odysseyite. yiddobrett from this site said Keane could leave because of a lot of substituting - he doesn't believe it though. And quite frankly nor do I!

nicdic, Rumour Ranger extraordinaire, then got some News Of The World information that Berbatov has not gone yet, good chance that he could stay; that Eto'o is definitely a possibility and that Villa is definitely leaving ol' Valencia. Galahad, a distant Goat relative , said that there's a strong push for Clemente ... some cryptics that gave guesses of Fabiano and David Villa.

Still in April and MadridSpur says that we've made contact with Villa, some Eto'o interest and Ronaldinho's off to Italy. Scout says "berbs gone" and we're very close to a massive massive signing ... this was in April.

Somebody on COYS was talking about Levy being busy and French people and players with "oo" in their name. I'm thinking Samassi Abou. Leics_Spur on FTL thinks Spurs could be making a run on McGeady - they were the noises coming out of Parkhead on 29th April.

MadridSpur said Joaquin was "being hawked around" ... we've been offered his services. Villa: "discussions are advanced". To round off April TraderSpur on COYS was told by the same agent who gave him Kameni information in January that the deal has been done for 6.8 million yoyos.

MAY

donw001 on SC thinks that unless Ledley grows new legs, he's done. Smiling and nodding about Berbatov going ... and also about Barcelona and Eto'o.

It's obvious that Kaboul is going, at least it was to Archibald on 2nd day of May, Pompey have offered us a cut-price £5m but he wants to re-aller a la France. Taarabt transfer request, Disco Stu likes Transfer Music. Bordeux after NoPass after this revelation.

noodles said on the same day that we're working hard on swapping Berbatov for Eto'ooooo. Archibald on 5th May said we're off to Portugal for a DM and Manchester United are interested in this unnamed player too.

We're well after Cuellar and Capel. Innit, said Mr BEN on the 6th of this month. More FTL antics, this time from Alex who said that we're after the Nigerian forward: Ike Uche from Getafe.

arnie123 said that Berbatov has been sold to AC Milan and Disconosebleed from SC said that Huddlestone is available for transfer, as well as birthdays, weddings and bamitzvahs. Offered to a Prem club - this was from 7th May.

Johnnydx85 said, one day later, that Berbatov is 100% off, Comolli will be sacked soon as Mr Levy doesn't like him and whilst not liking him, he's in Portugal buying a midfielder. Johnny assumed it was Veloso and told us to enjoy the rest of our days. Nice.

JurgenTheGerman gave us an even more entertaining twist to the Berbatov saga in that Shaun Wright-Phillips and Nicolas 'The Sulk' Anelka could be involved in a deal.

GGSpur on COYS said that Comolli had been to South America four times in the last few weeks, so he's got some serious air miles going on. Dan Ashcroft gave us an essay of ITK, Berbatov being biddily accepted. They are coming from Milan, Fiorentina and Athletico. None over £20m. Fiorentina included Frey. Berbatov is not unhappy to stay, it's the pressure from his nation to follow in other's footsteps. Kameni is not on our shortlist, and we've never wanted Diarra. Jarque wants to move to us. Veloso meeting on the cards and some sort of provisional agreement on the cards, perhaps heads of terms supposes Stoof. Disco Taarabt has not requested a move. Names scouting/scouted: Howson, Obertan, Fornaroli, Hugh, Pugh, Barney, McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble. No Grub. Exits for Lee, Chimbonda, Stalteri ( ) Gardner and Rocha in the biggest exodus of defenders ever. All incomings will be big money signings. Yay.

Archibald on this very day said that we're after Joe Hart by offering Robbo and some cash. Kameni and Handonyourcockvic (Handacovic - seems he can't make up his mind on the spelling ) are on the radar as are Amelia and Stekelenberg. JurgenTheGerman also persisted with SWP and Anelka story.

Now go take a cold shower you dirty dirty whore.

Oh look, more rumours. Yay.

This was posted on GG.net via the Spurs Community.

"For those who don't know I work for a company(which can't be named) who have been a sponser of Tottenham for nearly 20 years.Yesterday our MD went up to the Lane to discuss the various packages we were looking to do this season,eg match day sponsers,how many places req'd in the Oak Room per match etc...It goes without saying that our MD gets on famously with the clubs commercial department.As per normal the minute my MD gets back I drive him mad for any info,being a fellow Spur and all that he's very obliging.Anyway,he found out yesterday that we are going ahead with building a 60,000 seater stadium at WHL,it should be ready by 2011/2012,because of the way they are planning the building work we will be able to carry on playing at the Lane for most of it, except for one season.For that season we have arranged to play our home games at the MK Dons ground,it apparantly holds 25,000 (which covers the season tickets allocation according to the commercial manager) it also has room for 2,000 corporates which should cover the demand.He told us that the club are going to be announcing this in the next couple of weeks.

On the transfer front he said we were sniffing around Bentley,he said Berbs is definately off,and that two players Ramos wants out are Chimbo and Lennon.I must add,before Santini took over he told my MD that Martin O'Neill was a done deal to be our next boss so take his transfer ITK with a pinch of salt as I don't think he privvy to that sort of information,however,with regards to the stadium and a ground share he'll be in the loop as it concerns his department in a big big way.

I'm just passin on what we've been told yesterday,take or leave it,and any questions will be a waste of time coz I've given up all I know,and I didn't do a single song lyric whilst doing it! Sorry all you cryptic fans!!"

Someone on Glory Glory should have, a long time ago, made footnotes of everyone who claims to know someone who either works at Spurs or knows someone who works at Spurs. Could have devised a family tree of ITK and club insiders.

I'm certain there's been about 200 different people who have leaked info from within WHL.

I think that just about sums it up, imo.