THE DAZZA INTERVIEW

Dazza, over at Glory Glory got to bag 5 minutes with Daniel Levy. I’m some what disappointed that he didn’t let me know of the whereabouts and the time of the interview in advance. Not that I would have turned up and superglued myself to the chairman. No. It’s just nice to know where the chairman is on a day to day basis considering I pay his wages via my season ticket purchase season after season.

Here’s the interview.

http://www.glory-glory.co.uk/blogs/dazzalondon

And below, with comments.

Evening Mr Levy, thank you for sparing me some time on what is obviously a busy day.

DL – Yes, very busy............

Playing golf? Football Manager 2008? You get paid a cool million a year, I’m sure you can spare more than 5 minutes for one of the common people. Just hold your breath so you don’t have to breathe in the fumes of a ‘football fan’.

I’ll try and be as brief as I can then. I’ve taken a few questions from people on the website. Having read your EGM address I won’t be asking anything about the stadium or selling the club rumours.

How’s Juande’s English lesson’s going and how long before you reckon he’ll feel comfortable enough to do his own TV comments?

DL - I can sit and have a conversation with Juande and understand exactly what he’s saying but with interviews you are expected to reply quickly and he doesn’t want to be put in a position where he says the wrong thing that gets twisted. He’s probably a couple of months away from conducting his interviews.

As long as he understands ‘YOU’RE FIRED!’, right? Though its more likely he’ll be telling you in broken English to stick Comolli ‘uppa your arseo’.

Some fans are curious as to why you weren’t on screen during his initial press conference.

DL – Because if I had been the majority of the questions would have been about Martin Jol’s leaving as opposed to looking forward with Juande signing. Besides that’s the Sporting Directors job. The same reason as I wasn’t present during the unveiling of Martin and Frank Arnesen was.

Let’s correct this one.

‘Because I would have struggled to answer any of the questions posed because I handled the whole Jol affair like Pepe Le Pew on the pull’.

I saw the interview with Juande pre-match on Sky before the West Ham game and he seemed very non-committal regarding Berba’s future. Subtitles were – “Ask him”. Has his introduction had a settling affect on the squad with regards to being any closer to contract negotiations with Berba and Defoe? How much of a worry is it for you that Sky Andrew is Defoe’s agent after what he persuaded Sol to do?

DL – There aren’t any tensions in the squad. Berba is already on a long contract and he’s signalled he’s happy. As for Jermaine, he’s publicly stated he wants to stay and I reiterated in today’s EGM our wish that he does stay. Now it’s pretty much down to him. Sky Andrews – Draw your own conclusions.

Yes. You should have sold Defoe to Pompey way back. Instead, you sat back and watched a new Judas scenario develop. Not to worry. The club is bound to get it right third time round.

Do you ever ask for or get offered feedback from the players regarding the coach?

DL – I never ask for feedback but any I do get comes back via players agents rather than the players themselves.

Care to share what Sky Andrews may have said to you recently? Go on. I bet it was fruity.

What is the criteria for signing new players if the manager suggests them? Any truth in the tabloid gossip that 3 of Juande’s targets were disregarded because they were “over 26”?

DL – I can categorically say there is no truth in that rumour what-so-ever.

Agreed. Because we just over-spend on under-23’s instead.

Has there been any progress on the goal keeping coach position? Has anyone thought of offering Paul a trip to a clinical hypnotist to ease any self doubts he experiences and try and get him back to full confidence?

DL – There is no progress as yet. And if you saw Paul’s display against West Ham yesterday I think he had a good game and his confidence is there for people to see.

No, what’s there to be seen is that he still needs to shed some weight. His ‘saves’ at West Ham were alright, if a little bit overly ‘dramatic’ for the cameras to enjoy. Seeing a hypnotist isn’t that bad of an idea. How about using one on Jenas to trick him into believing he is a footballer.

Fan’s really don’t want to share with West Ham. The travel connections are even worse than WHL. Are there any truth to these rumours &/or alternatives should we have to move away from WHL for any rebuilding work?

DL – If we should, and I’m not saying we will, have to ground share at all then theoretically how would people feel about sharing with Arsenal. Which would they prefer?

That’s like asking if I’d prefer to share a bed with Michael Barrymore or take a skinny dip in his pool.

(Dazza's response) – Well I actually did an article on this, asking people to think with their head rather than their heart and you’d be surprised to percentage of people that said sharing the Emirates would be the preferable short term option with regards to increased capacity meaning more revenue and an increase in season tickets.

Stop kissing arse, Dazza. Referring to ‘revenue’ probably made Levy all giddy. I bet he smirked didn’t he? He licked his lips too, didn't he? Yeah, of course he did.

Have there been any “culprits” identified for these continuing leaks that appear to be coming from the club?

DL – We’ve investigated and found nothing. If you look at the way things transpired with Martin then it’s possible there was no leak. Firstly it was rumoured he’d resigned before the game, then that he’d been sacked at half time but no final decision was made until after the game. With regards to the leak about the ground expansion. I’m sure that came from somewhere other than the club. The reason why I’m so sure was that only a handful of people knew anything about that and most of them were from outside the club.

What? You mean there are no ‘In The Knows’ or club insiders working their magic, cryptically informing fans on forums with exclusives that have yet to hit the newsstands? No espionage? Just coincidence and enough shit thrown at the wall, some of it will stick? Damn it! I WANT TO BELIEVE!

Finally, on a personal note, do you have any spare tickets for the Anderlecht game that I can buy off of you, I’ve already booked my travel????

DL – (laughs) I’m afraid not.

Dazza, I’m disappointed. This is pretty much a stereotypical ‘last question’ to end the interview with a smile. Christ, you been watching Parkinson as prep? How about asking him about the crate in his basement with the Arsenal memorabilia? Or whether he has kept any of the effigies I’ve mailed him? Or why only the West Stand gets bagels? You’ve sold out man. You’ve sold out.

Well thank you very much for sparing me this time to answer questions. Good luck.

DL – You’re welcome

Good luck? Miracle more like.